Updated, Now With Rain: Down Donkey Lane, In Which Our Burro Clomps Past Security, Crashes Private Parties

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Julia Allison has been waxing nostalgic about her sordid past, commenting on fauxtos she posted back in 2008. Dusty Documentary Series writes:

For newbies:

The swimsuit shot was taken during Randi’s [Zuckerberg] bachelorette weekend in Vegas. Which Julia crashed. From what I recall, she hadn’t known Randi long. She dragged one of her NonSociety “business partners” with to Vegas and surprised her, dinosaur style.

Julia gave Randi the swimsuit as a gift, describing it as “Bridal White.” She wore an identical white swimsuit herself. Then she and Randi posed by the pool. I cannot imagine how appalled Randi’s friends must have been.

Were they as appalled as the unfortunate celebrities who ended up in Donkey fauxto ops at the (crashed) White House Correspondents Dinner? The smug is off the fucking charts.

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Julia snuggles up to warmonger Henry Kissinger. Give her a ring, you old dog! You won’t believe what she’ll do on that second date!

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Donkey & Donatella Versace swap horror stories of injectables.

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Colin Powell discusses military policy with our favorite burro. “Yes, I’m in 100% agreement with you about … what invasion were we talking about?”

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Donkey runs into Alexander Marquardt, who’ll bang her on a friend’s couch and leave in the morning. You’ll always have DC, Julia!

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The actual caption in the Washington Post: “Julia Allison with Clinton press secretary Philippe Reines the night of the 2007 White House Correspondent’s Association dinner, which she crashed.”

What I remember best about Donkey crashing the WHCD comes courtesy of two dear friends who were catty-corner from her room at the Hilton. One of those friends turned into Pavlov when watching Our Miss Julie “jog” on the hotel’s track. Julie wasn’t really jogging but was sort of hopping about while craning her neck from right to left to see if anyone was watching her. “Pavlov” stared at Julie and nodded when they made eye contact. Julie beamed and actually jogged for about 45 seconds before the hopping and the head craning began again in earnest. “Pavlov” kept on staring and nodding; Julie kept looking up and jogging for 45 seconds; and on and on and on until my friend became bored and went to go hang with Stephen Colbert and his mother. Suck on that, Donkey!

Update: Donkey posted this Bette Midler video along with “xo” on Rain PhuturePhuckPhace’s FB wall. What’s next for our favorite balding middle-aged DJ? A video of Julia lip synching to “The Little Mermaid”?

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Donkey Will Be Having A BM This Year

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Hmmm … so which of you am I going to wrangle into Burning Man this year??

The benevolent but mostly unyielding (yet self-aware!) peer pressure begins. wink emoticon

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Isn’t Donk inviting Dadser? After all, Peter Baugher is the one who pays for his beast of burden to attend these smelly, druggy circle jerks, while she spends three years pretending to work on BOOK and make the booger family proud.

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Updated, Now With “Potentially Controversial Stance”: Wacky Aunt Julia Wants Your Babies, Mulls Harvard Square Restaurant Job

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Donkey and her open maw pose with the kid of yet another SF DJ. Be very afraid:

This baby is medicine for the light.

Not surprising, given her epic parents. I love you, Ryan Lucero & Nicole Cronin! Thank you for letting me cuddle her for an hour … more please!

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On a less upsetting note, could Donkey be looking for a jerb?

Spotted at my new favorite restaurant in Harvard Square.

What if all restaurants were as healthy and inspiring? What if all hiring practices looked like … THIS?

That’s the world I want to live in … #ReimagineYourWorld

Cc: (Jess Johnson, Nadia Mufti, Ryan Allis, Jeff Scult, Justin Baraglia)

My mistake, Donkey. You don’t actually want to work at this restaurant. You just want to dine there while others work under conditions that make you feel less guilty about forever dining out on your Daddy’s dime.

You’re not really living with Dead Russian Hooker #2, are you, Mulia? Because she’s nuttier than a fruitcake.

Updates!

Donkey wants to take off her Love sweatshirt and romp with Dead Russian Hooker #2 (her new roomie?) in the desert:

Potentially controversial stance of the day: it should be a human right to sunbathe naked in nature … Everyday. ‪#‎ReimagineYourWorld‬

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Not sure if this has already been mentioned, but a cat peep pointed me towards a new photo on Rain Phuture PhuckPhace’s wall. Behold the new purple prince!

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I only want to see you laughing in the…
— with Rain Phutureprimitive.

From the comments:

Julia Maryanska Wow! Wonder photo!

Julia Allison I’m a good photographer when the subject is gorgeous. wink emoticon

Julia Maryanska Seriously! 😉

I LOVE & OWN YOU RAIN!!

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Où Est La Donkey?

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Julia Allison has been hush-hush about her current stall locale – no LOLyer transparency here – since being evicted from the flat that she and Nehi used to share near the OMG! Palace of Fine Arts. Though Donkey coyly told “friends” not to reveal her whereabouts, fauxtos seem to indicate our girl is in Chicago. But last night she posted about Camp Grounded and invited her thousands of fans in the ‘stans to join her “here in Mendicino.” Can Donkey not spell the name of the city in which she currently might be clomping and braying, perhaps temporarily?

In the last 12 hours, Donkey’s Camp Grounded Digital Detox post has received three likes – one from Wali Rahman’s stealth account – and one two-word comment. Is no one interested in doing time in Mendocino with “the exuberant embodiment of love”?

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Updated: Julia Allison Showcases Significant Neurological Abilities

ballerina shithead

Julia Allison is a Social Justice Warrior and a committed environmentalist! When someone questioned her share about covering much land with solar power plants in an attempt to provide the United States with renewable energy, Donkey displayed the skills that crowned her New Trier’s all-time debate champ:

Ibrahim AlHusseini If we did that the world would end due the mining and energy it would take to produce the batteries that much solar would need. Solar is an intermittent technology and batteries are a very dirty business.

Julia Allison I respect that perspective. Hmm. Let’s go further, then.

Ibrahim AlHusseini We are. I only bring it up because the solar industry, which I’m a big fan of, investor in and grateful for, likes to pretend that Solar is Earth’s Savior and they’re not. They just pretend to be because, money.
Realistically, we’re going to need everything. You’d be shocked to hear that a big piece of the puzzle is going to be modern nuclear both fusion and fission. It’s a long discussion and I’m happy to have it with you anytime. Just too lazy to type it out here.

We never heard from Julie again, but so what? This post was hours ago and she’d made her point!

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More captivating, our lady of introspection showed her true (and ugly) colors when trumpeting a piece of misogynistic drivel. Fameless Shamewhore writes:

Meanwhile, Jules links to an article about dating techniques for men that she claims is 100% true:

“In fact, it’s the best description of conversational home runs I’ve ever read. This particular questioning pattern was THE ENTIRE REASON I dated (at least) one of my ex-boyfriends. I wish I weren’t serious about that but … Alas. I’m a sucker for men who possess – and publicly utilize! – social awareness.”

The article itself is written by Tyler Willis, “crisis counselor by day, and DJ by night”. He writes that “social awareness is one of the most attractive traits a woman can sense from you” and says that it is “a principle of evolutionary psychology described by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller in their book Mate: Become The Man Women Want.”

Here’s some choice advice from the article:

If the conversation is heating up and she’s holding eye contact longer than usual, say “I’m having a hard time focusing on our conversation because I can tell you totally want to make out with me.”

http://elitedaily.com/dating/women-think-youre-boring/1332581/

Why do men still rape women, Donkey?

Update: A despairing donkey so disconnected from reality that she couldn’t honor her contract with St. Martin’s asks the big question:

This society is excellent at separating us from connection with our soul.

That is perhaps the most fundamental reason we are – as a people – angry, isolated, and excruciatingly lonely.

We ache for our souls. And when the pain becomes too much, we turn numb.

No more.

Do whatever it takes to connect with your soul. Please. For your sake. For the sake of your family. For the sake of your community. For the sake of this planet.

How will you reconnect with your soul today?

Bottom CONfab Pictures! Ali Shanti and her fellow grifters, “the sisters of the mistressmind,” met up in San Francisco, one of Julia Allison’s many former homes, where they debated the long con vs. the short hustle:

con artists

CON fab

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