A Jim Jones-ish FB profile fauxto, complete with a caption sporting proper punctuation?! Sorry about the caps, Julie – it’s “Camp Grounded” – but we’re still giving you an “A” for effort!! We know even a five-word sentence is a challenge for a self-proclaimed journalist who had to give back her advance to OMG! St. Martin’s!!!!!!!
In other news Consultant Donkey’s latest plea for a stylist has disappeared, but she’s been posting away as noble SJW.
BUT SJW was going to have a known child rapist officiate her wedding until the basement held her accountable. Grow some balls Julia and denounce that fucker before you EVER open your hypocritical pie hole again.
Sheesh, Donkey, how many balding badath DJs are you circling the drain with?
In other news, Jena and her on again, off again girlfriend are making heterosexuality fashionable again:
Bottom atrocity: Ali Shanti reposted the video she shared on FB just before going on a pricey Vegas blowout with Criag Filek and declaring bankruptcy. Business ethics, thy name is Alexis Neely!
Update: Jess Johnson, who’s singlehandedly “changing the course of history,” needs to do some fabulous fauxtoshoots before solving the crisis in the Middle East and eradicating world hunger. Won’t you donate your services to the caterwauler?
Culturally illiterate Julia Allison is in dire need of music that inspires and motivates, and that doesn’t include ambien via Rain PhuturePhuckPhace. Might we suggest a new composition from songstress Ali Shanti? But be nice! The old raunch is feeling “super vulnerable and edgy” about “sharing this with you”:
Holy merde! Clearly those voice lessons with Jess Johnson over the phone have paid off. Did the former Alexis Neely sing this ditty to her poor mother when trying to get her hands on Ronnie’s retirement funds?
Caption this! Or should we just call it “Woman with Rabid Rodent Running Rampant in Her Hair” and be done with it?
This endorsement, from the woman who revealed her mother’s sexual assault to the world in the hopes of winning a Twitter argument and who cried rape in college whenever she missed an essay deadline:
I just kant.
Update: Though Ali Shanti didn’t write about the Nimb Ring, which is an old story that Donkey is just now posting, the old raunch did respond to the overwhelmingly negative comments made about Alex Lightman’s appalling essay on the UK, which Shanti posted and referred to as “genius.” Proving once again why she’s The Worst Person in the World, Skankatron turns Lightman’s very specific remarks about the EU vote into ludicrous mumbo jumbo, ultimately making it all about herself. Unfucking believable: