Being an adult is hard y’all, as I can attest. This morning, I woke up, ate left-over ceviche for breakfast, rocked out to the Pet Shop Boys, thought fondly of my lover Jacy and debated doing laundry. It was all just too, too much. But my adulthood isn’t the impossibility that is Julia Allison’s. I may be unemployed, but at least I own my Nissan Versa and am not shackled to the institutionalized slavery of my luxury car lease.
As you may recall, making the financially irresponsible decision to blow money on a Mercedes lease was a source of existential dread for our Donkey. But at least she had the wherewithal to subsidize her do-nothing lifestyle by turning her $6,000 a month apartment into a boutique beach-side resort with cable, thanks to AirBnB. Now she doesn’t have a home to share for the price of $400 a night, so for months she’s been attempting to pimp out her bitch Mercedes to help pay for her exorbitant car lease.
That sounds like a crazy ingenious solution to get some quick cash! There’s just one problem. Julia Allison’s Mercedes is not Julia Allison’s Mercedes to lend out. Had she taken that Intro to Adulthood class at the Learning Annex, and please restrain your shock and amazement when I tell you this, Julia Allison does not own her car. Mercedes owns it. She is merely renting it. And surprise of surprises, even if she decided to buy a big-girl vehicle of her very own, the bank would own her C Class until her note was paid in full. What does Mercedes think of selling out your rented coche like it’s some cooch for sale? Well, it’s frowned upon. According to the automaker’s The First Class Lease®, who can drive a leased Mercedes?
Persons listed as lessee or co-lessee on The First Class Lease® and those who are insured under your current policy and have a valid driver’s license.
Oops! I hope Mercedes doesn’t find out. I’m sure they would be upset.
