Sloth and Self-Indulgence Are Virtues, People

You know what your problem is? You know why you’re such a mean hater not the most kind-hearted, loving, open human beings Donkey Allison has ever met in her ENTIRE LIFE? Because you are not spending your life doing absolutely nothing in a tropical paradise with a bunch of grifters.

 

lazyass

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Meet Robert William Love, Jr., AKA “The Jazzerciser,” Ali Shanti’s Producer/Videographer

jazzerciser pee

I had to make a BIG decision when I came to Costa Rica about whether to bring my producer/videographer/good friend Robert William Love Jr. with us. The show we are making didn’t have funding yet and I wasn’t sure if we were getting anything good with what we were shooting.

Bringing him was a big financial investment and I was nervous. I decided to go for it and it’s a decision that has paid off again and again and again.

Robert is a TON of fun to hang with. He just made us the most delicious dinner plus he’s introduced us to a new mantra that we do every time we get into the car and he wore the best outfits to Envision by far. Bottom line: Robert’s presence is an asset even if we weren’t filming a show.

And to make it even better, we are!

Robert, thank YOU!!!! You are irreplaceable. Thank you for creating the Whole Truth Show with us.

No funding for “Skankatron 3000, The Lovomaniac”? Aren’t Mom Ronnie Martin’s meager retirement funds paying for this stoner clown to shoot shaky burner videos of her daughter making an asshat out of herself? ¬†Or did Ronnie have second thoughts after looking at that feelthy pink leotard?

In and out, and in and out, and feel the burn, Ali!

jazz stage

Tip o’ the tutu to¬†BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot and Tingolayo for coining “The Jazzerciser.”

jazzercise 1

jazzercise 2

jazz fellatio

orange jazzercise

judi_sheppard_missett-more_jazzercise

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Mom of the Year Ali Shanti Attended Another Druggie Fest

ali foursome

THIS IS FANNY PACK SUCCESS! Skankatron 3000, pictured here with three of her many “loves,” presumably got a ticket to Envision Fest IN FUCKING COSTA RICA by worming her way onto the guest speaker list alongside Julia “conscious crusader for an authentic world” Allison.

Alexis Neely is a truth-teller, futurist, new economy personal finance expert, lawyer and mom who offers a modern (and much needed) perspective on success.

shanti leatherface

Though she doesn’t have a pot to pee in, the old raunch’s scheme juices are a-boilin':

Sitting in stand-still traffic in Costa Rica outside of San Jose. The sun just went down and I’m in the car with three of my beloveds. I’ve extended my data plan so I can get some work done while we wait.

We were on our way to visit a community I am seriously considering moving to, but now we won’t see it in the light. In the past, I would be stressed and anxious, now I am trusting the flow.

Yesterday, when I first heard about this community at Envision, I went to talk to the parents of one of the founders and it turns out the were very good friends with my dad and stepmom. That felt like a big sign from the Universe.

I’ve decided to extend my trip here another week so we can attend the Roots Gathering this weekend, learn about the sustainable solutions they are creating here and film for the Whole Truth Show.

Infinitely grateful for the liberation and love that makes this all possible. Wishing it for all of us.

For God’s sake, no founder nor founder parent should sign anything this woman puts in front of them, though Shanti’s probably just blithering away because she can’t stop talking, texting, FBing, tweeting, vomming, etc. We never heard about the Santa Fe property again and wasn’t she trying to grift her many loves into buying that place?

Uh, o.k.?

ali daughter

 

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Lunatic Still At It

Imagine how sweet it must have been for vaguely racist-y Avocado (IN FUCKING INDIA!!!) when Donk went dark on Facebook for weeks. Because now look what’s happening to him every time he posts something:

lunatic

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Julia Allison: Still Stalking After All These Years

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Carny extraordinaire David Block, Donkey’s beloved “Avocado,” smoked a ton of weed on Saturday night and found himself in a bad place:

Holy shit balls.

After a lovely evening of food music and card games, I decide to stop by a German Bakery on my quite pleasurable, drizzly bike ride home to Ashwem, Goa. I’ve eaten a mediocre microwaved chocolate-cinnamon roll and am fairly satisfied after rocking a mini dance party for some friends.

About 10 minutes after my departure, I’m cruising down the road, pretty blissed out, enjoying the occasional drop of rain hitting my face, humming sweet tunes to myself, a pleasant inner smile as I cruise the empty streets of India; today was a nice day.

Then it hits me. OHHH MYYYY FUCKKKKINGGGGG GOOOODDDDDD!!!!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

This is all I can yell out loud in various voices (fear, desperation, ignorance etc)

Hyperventilating, body shaking, muscles clenching. Could I really have done this?

I’ve left my backpack with ALL my gear in it sitting on the street at the bakery. Yes, ALL my gear sitting on the streets, in India, at a populated bakery, IN FUCKING INDIA.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I turn around and fly faster than felt remotely safe, heart racing screaming OH MY GOD to the heavens. Merciful GOD, please, I beg you, pardon my absent mindedness and let my bag still be there. All my music, all my photos, hundreds of hours of work from this trip (not to mention the thousands of dollars of equipment although replaceable, would not be fun to lose)

Life goes slow motion (as it does when these things happens). Please GOD, I dedicate my life to sharing my art, my soul, please don’t take away my tools.

Launching off speed bumps, screeching to a stop quite awkwardly in front of the still populate bakery; and there, like a glowing blue poly something or other beacon of light is my bag.

Still shaking, I pick it up, collapse against my bike and thank spirit for guarding my work.

Moral of the story: Don’t stop by the german bakery and eat microwaved chocolate cinnamon rolls at 1 AM, no matter how many joints you’ve smoked.

stallk

Keep that helo in the air, babe! Note that none of those likes is from hunky Avocado. But with or without The Lollipop Guild, Donkey won’t be leaving Wooville anytime soon.

In other news, tomorrow is the 10th Annual International Pancakes Day!

panckaes

pancakes mccain

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