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The Caterwauler In Crisis: 40-Year-Old Idiot Gets Naked, Does Cannonball Into Pool, Breaks Foot

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No idea if Jaahass is still dating Aussie Petey Pineapple – her relationships tend to have a short shelf life – but she is apparently in Colorado and did recently break her foot. For reasons that elude logic, The Caterwauler’s recovery consists of posting naked fauxtos of herself to Instagram.

In other Jaahass news, the HeARTist lets her real-life sister know she still loves her and they’re still sisters, even though the woo goddesses call each other “sister” (and “mamma” and “lover” and “rainbow”):

Bottom Deep Thought! Judy promotes existential therapy, which I’m not entirely sold on but at least involves actual schooling and licensing, not just some sociopath putting up a shingle.

Look Who Just Landed In New York City!

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Now hold on! Isn’t DJ Deadbeat Dad supposed to be in Europe for “personal and professional reasons”? Has he returned to New York because there’s suddenly a demand for hot chocolate ceremonies?

Honesty is la Fraud’s middle name. And though Jena NEVER reads here, we’re waiting to see how she attempts to spin this news in 3 2 1.

If you’re interested in seeing some of the designs that Sacha wanted you to fund to the tune of 10k, as well as how he would like to personally heal you via vibrations, check out https://sachanielsen.my-free.website/

P.S. Some interesting intel is coming in re: one of Donkey’s ex’s. Waiting on verification. Look for a new post tomorrow.

Bottom Video! The healing powers of the magical cacao bean:

Michael Ellsberg Needs Your Help In Becoming The Next Robert Mapplethorpe

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The Greasy Gargoyle is hoping to monetize his penchant for voyeurism:

Photographer friends! I would appreciate some advice about submitting my first photo to a contest/art show! It’s not the one shared here–it’s much more explicit!–but it’s from the same shoot, of real-life couple and performers Dylan and T. After practicing photography for 3 years, the one I’m submitting is the first photograph I’ve ever taken at which almost everyone gasps with delight when they see it. Which means I think it has a good shot at getting accepted to the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, where I’m submitting it.

Here are my questions–any guidance would be much appreciated!

–> The photographs must be priced, for the gallery. What is a reasonable price for a quality erotic fine art print from a non-famous photographer? I really have no idea. $300? More? Less?

–> I imagine the first question also has to do with the size of the print. Unfortunately, I shot in JPG (I know, I know- rookie mistake, I am now shooting in RAW!) The pixel dimensions are 4240 x 2384. What would be an ideal size to print for a JPG of these pixel dimensions?

–> Any suggestions for how/where/format to get it printed? I’m a complete newbie at this. Should I get it framed? If so, any suggestion for types of frames that you think would work with this?

–> Are photographs sold at art galleries expected to be a single print? Or an edition? Or I can sell as many as I want in other places? I imagine this impacts the pricing a lot too.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated. THANK YOU! 🙂

Such a tease! Would you pay $300 for explicit 1990s alterna lesbian porn suitable for framing? Zzzzzz … And if anyone wants to accuse me of being a closet prude, we have two vintage Skrebneskis in the master bathroom. (Ha Ha, but we seriously do.)

First the “bestseller” on eye contact and now Bob Crane 101. Daniel Ellsberg must be so proud.

Bottom Picture! Smelly & Mark McKinney’s Chicken Lady:

THE Romance Of The 21st Century Continues

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Didn’t she come back to the states for “work,” not another vacation from vacation-itis?

Where will you take your burro next, Dr. Dodi? You still have a lab, yes?

Wedding #3 – The Oh-So-Exclusive Michigan Shores Club?

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Following in the footsteps of her woo brethren, Donk is most likely making plans for at least three weddings, assuming Dr. Dodi pops the question and destroys his future. One of these weddings will probably take place in San Francisco, primarily for friends and Dodi’s California family. Another wedding will occur at Camp Septic, with Annie Lalala officiating as various woos spout gibberish and Donk & Dodi, in their underwear, ingest plant medicine and grin maniacally. I DO, I DO, I DO!

Look for Petey and Robin to pay for a third wedding at the Michigan Shores Club, where Dodi and the Baughers went for Christmas dinner. It doesn’t get more Midwestern than this overstuffed, tacky Tudor monstrosity nestled along the shores of beautiful Lake Michigan in Wilmette.

Yes, membership to the Michigan Shores Club is restricted – there will be no shirtless dirtfest DJs in the Shawnee Pub, where a strict dress code is enforced.

With an understanding of the club’s history and the nature of our membership, The Membership Committee’s most important function is to identify individuals and families that share the Board’s vision for the club. The Membership Committee carefully considers membership applications and invitations for membership must be approved by the Membership Committee and the Board of Directors.

Not to worry, Dodi, Your future father-in-law has already met with the Board of Directors to ensure your membership!

For the wedding of the century – somebody notify Page Six – the Stone Ballroom has it all, everything to make a couple’s Tudor dreams a reality!

The stone patio and deck outside the ballroom can accommodate any size wedding reception. It doesn’t get any whiter:

Nutty Granny Money Bags, Wilmette’s most vocal anti-multiculturalist, raves about Michigan Shores: “The Negro servers wear blindingly white uniforms. Even white gloves. And they play Bach. Lots of Bach. It’s like a mid-twentieth-century country club. My home away from home!”

Here’s to Wilmette wedding bells!