Welcome To Guyana, Or, Donkey Never Reads Here

flytrap

I love you, camp grounded.

A Jim Jones-ish FB profile fauxto, complete with a caption sporting proper punctuation?! Sorry about the caps, Julie – it’s “Camp Grounded” – but we’re still giving you an “A” for effort!! We know even a five-word sentence is a challenge for a self-proclaimed journalist who had to give back her advance to OMG! St. Martin’s!!!!!!!

In other news Consultant Donkey’s latest plea for a stylist has disappeared, but she’s been posting away as noble SJW.

hypocr

Winchester writes:

BUT SJW was going to have a known child rapist officiate her wedding until the basement held her accountable. Grow some balls Julia and denounce that fucker before you EVER open your hypocritical pie hole again.

Posted in Uncategorized | 34 Comments

Updated, More Stylists Needed! Help “Consultant” Julia Allison Do Her Job (Again)

lameass

Sheesh, Donkey, how many balding badath DJs are you circling the drain with?

In other news, Jena and her on again, off again girlfriend are making heterosexuality fashionable again:

shamebaby

Bottom atrocity: Ali Shanti reposted the video she shared on FB just before going on a pricey Vegas blowout with Criag Filek and declaring bankruptcy. Business ethics, thy name is Alexis Neely!

Update: Jess Johnson, who’s singlehandedly “changing the course of history,” needs to do some fabulous fauxtoshoots before solving the crisis in the Middle East and eradicating world hunger. Won’t you donate your services to the caterwauler?

jess1

jess2

jess3

Posted in Uncategorized | 104 Comments

Ali Shanti Answers Donkey’s Plea For Music That Motivates

meditatindonkey

Culturally illiterate Julia Allison is in dire need of music that inspires and motivates, and that doesn’t include ambien via Rain PhuturePhuckPhace. Might we suggest a new composition from songstress Ali Shanti? But be nice! The old raunch is feeling “super vulnerable and edgy” about “sharing this with you”:

http://www.audioacrobat.com/email/ERW0MKlRV

Holy merde! Clearly those voice lessons with Jess Johnson over the phone have paid off. Did the former Alexis Neely sing this ditty to her poor mother when trying to get her hands on Ronnie’s retirement funds?

Caption this! Or should we just call it “Woman with Rabid Rodent Running Rampant in Her Hair” and be done with it?

rathair

Bottom Warning: Look out, Noodles!

moutain 1

mountain2

Posted in Uncategorized | 147 Comments

Updated: Donkey Desperate For Good Tunes! Rain PhutrePhuckPhace No Longer Cutting It?

playlist

Trouble in communal paradise? Is our burro no longer inspired by the Thorazine-induced song stylings of her latest balding DJ and failed relationship?

He’s no Disney soundtrack, that’s for sure.

infantiledonkey

Update: Boo hoo! Another dream lover got away, this one with an I.Q. in the three-digit range. Always the bridesmaid … unless she’s marrying herself.

bridesmaid

Posted in Uncategorized | 94 Comments

Updated, Now With Deranged Narcissist Alexis Neely: Donkey’s New SJW Spokesmodel Gig?

This endorsement, from the woman who revealed her mother’s sexual assault to the world in the hopes of winning a Twitter argument and who cried rape in college whenever she missed an essay deadline:

new coobie

I just kant.

Update: Though Ali Shanti didn’t write about the Nimb Ring, which is an old story that Donkey is just now posting, the old raunch did respond to the overwhelmingly negative comments made about Alex Lightman’s appalling essay on the UK, which Shanti posted and referred to as “genius.” Proving once again why she’s The Worst Person in the World, Skankatron turns Lightman’s very specific remarks about the EU vote into ludicrous mumbo jumbo, ultimately making it all about herself. Unfucking believable:

worstperson

Posted in Uncategorized | 136 Comments