Trip Down Memory Lane: Donkey’s Ivanka Trump Obsession

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Remember when Donk was obsessed with Ivanka Trump? Not long ago she routinely expressed her admiration of Ivanka. Now she’s on Twitter suggesting The Donald is a rapist, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the girly boner for his daughter was a bit weird.

UPDATE:

Oh Christ. Another painfully unfunny and probably manufactured conversation.

Overheard at Good Earth Fairfax

Younger guy with tattoos, long hair (half shaved) on his cell: “Yo yo yo. What up yo?!”
Pause.
“You know. Just gettin’ my organic game on.”
Pause.
“Hell yeah, let’s go slack lining!”

Oh Marin. I love you.

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Updated: Donkey Is Tweeting & Crowdsourcing & Trolling Us, Right?

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Might we recommend …

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Political Pundit Donkey is putting her self-professed “useless” degree in Government to good use with her first tweets in months. She could have been Hillary Clinton’s speechwriter!

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Donkey, have you consulted with Marc Gafni, your former, disgraced self-wedding officiant, about that 13-year-old girl?

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Update: We are evolving … but only in Marin County!

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Parenting With Rainbow: Judy Albertson Blames Sloth On Robin & Petey’s Demands For “Perfection”/Jess Johnson Thanks Judy For Her Very Special Day

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I love my parents … And I’m so grateful for all they taught me.

That said, they were definitely the “you better be PERFECT” Puritan-work-ethic loving Tiger parent type, a tougher permutation of what the former dean of Stanford described here.

I was expected to get straight As, but I was most certainly NOT absolved of chores, nor did my parents EVER once argue on my behalf with a teacher.

In fact, my mother once argued for me TO BE SUSPENDED when she felt my tardiness to advisory had become too frequent (in high school, advisory was the first period of the day – literally just a holding pen for 30 minutes before real classes started). I was tardy because I regularly stayed up until the wee hours doing homework – and as it turned out, I couldn’t survive on 5 hours of sleep, even then.

Secure in my “good kid” persona, I told my mother, “they don’t suspend kids like me.” (Kids who got great grades, who were in every extracurricular, who didn’t do drugs or drink.)

Undeterred, my mother called the dean. “I need you to suspend my daughter for her tardiness to teach her a lesson,” my mom told the very surprised dean.

“We don’t suspend kids like Julia,” the dean replied.

My mom: “You do now.”

And they did.

That one day suspension went on all my college applications, I might add. How many kids can say their mom got them suspended for being late to school? More unique than starting a club! Maybe I should have written my application essay about THAT. 😉 haha

I suppose you could imagine that as a result of such tough parents, I became a disciplined and obedient follower. But that’s not what happened (as you can see from my life). I rebelled in my own way, and I’ve had an allergy to rules and being forced into boxes ever since. It’s my greatest strength and it has also been my greatest weakness (of course).

In sum, let’s chill out on the perfection obsession and focus on finding and nurturing the unique and inherent genius in every kid … Or send them all to Waldorf schools. 😉

https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting

What the fuck? She may have been “expected to get straight As,” but our burro was not an “A” student at Georgetown and her shaky academic standing was tracked relentlessly by the dean’s office, with Petey phoning and threatening anyone & everyone if they didn’t give his spawn a pass.

Such self-defeating rebellion, Donkey, and so sad! If Momsers had nurtured your inherent genius, you wouldn’t be a 35-year-old lazy layabout still living off your parents and running around druggy festivals with your tits hanging out.

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In other news, future superstar Jess Johnson had a birthday party – alert the media! When Donkey, AKA “Miss Rainbow,” asked The Caterwauler what gift she wanted on this magical day, Jess asked for a documentary and a photo shoot about herself:

On September 18th I turned 36. I had a small gathering where a group of my amazing friends came together to share in a ritual around love, doing life together, cycles of completion, and what we are birthing. The entire night was profound…perhaps one of the best nights of my life, because what I love more than anything is bringing together people who are fully dedicated to creating a more beautiful world, to love each other, and to become family. So many gifts were given, so many people contributed, and I will share more about that on a future post, but in this moment I have some ‘splaining to do and some people to thank about one very special gift in particular that I think will change (or certainly expedite) the course of my life HEART EMOTICON It was one of the most beautiful acts of love I have ever experienced.

BACKSTORY: A week before my birthday, Julia Allison VERY sneakily asked me what I would want to manifest if I had a little extra cash. (She said she was doing a research project on manifestation…which was actually kind of true). I told her in the blink of an eye, that I would want a micro doc about what it means to be a Heartist, and a photoshoot to tell the story of being free (and compelled) to create more love on the planet through our unique expression.

Over the next week 36 friends came together to raise over $3333 to hire my FAVORITE filmmaker/ visionary story-tellers Renee Airya and Akira Chan through RARE Media to do exactly that. I want to share with you what these beings co-created and give a special acknowledgment to EVERYONE who contributed and everyone who witnessed, amplified and made this moment come alive! This video is for you 3 HEART EMOTICONS THANK YOU 3 HEART EMOTICONS I promise to keep giving myself fully to this life until the day I take my last beautiful breath…and I can’t wait to tell this amazing story HEART EMOTICON

Jeff Scult Annie Anton Isabella Konold Shawn Hughes Ro Palomo David Schmidt Dallas Michael Cyr Dallyce Brisbin Scott Steele Scott DeMoulin Jonathan Budd Laura J. Swan Novalena Jennie Nichele Jeremy Nichele John Buttaz Evan Novis Justin Rosenstein Nadav Wilf Nadia Mufti Ariel White Amber Hartnell Bertram Meyer Mia Cara Katie Freiling Michael Costuros Kim Iglinsky Anake Goodall Neha Panchal Cory Tanner Glazier Marian Zizzo Neeta Bhushan Martha Gilbert Nisha Moodley Bear Kittay Katiyana Kittay Lisa Rock Daniel Brand David Chan Daniel Schmachtenberger Ali Shanti Julia Allison

That Golden Globe Award winning speech at the end of the video? Holy Merde! And Jess? You didn’t tag enough of your enablers here.

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Updated: Donkey Takes Another Dump On “Concentration Camp” New York City

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Julia Allison, who left Manhattan with her tail between her four legs, would like to redirect “New York brains”:

“I think that New York is the model for the new concentration camp, where the camp has been built by the inmates themselves and the inmates are the guards. And they have this pride over what they’ve built – they’ve built their own prison! And so they exist in a state of schizophrenia, where they are both guards and prisoners. And as a result, having been lobotomized, they no longer have the capacity to leave the prison they have made or EVEN SEE IT AS A PRISON.” [Ed. – Donkey is quoting Andre Gregory in the 1981 Louis Malle movie, MY DINNER WITH ANDRE, which was shot in a hotel in Richmond, VA. standing in for NYC. What’s below is all Julie.]

So accurate to my experience. This is EXACTLY how I feel about “escaping” from New York.

As I look out my office window at nothing but trees, listen to blissful silence, watch wild turkey, lizards, hummingbirds and deer parade by daily, I thank God above that I got out of that concrete prison, the prison that valued Money and Competition and Winning above taking care of this planet and taking care of each other – aka, kindness.

One becomes a product of one’s environment – and the values espoused and encouraged within the system that environment creates.

That is not to say that there are no kind-hearted New Yorkers, no beautiful souls living there. Just that the city itself does not *breed* a gentle, kind, considerate way of living. It cannot, in my opinion, being fully controlled by me-first capitalism, being so removed from nature. (And no CENTRAL PARK DOES NOT COUNT.)

New Yorkers HAVE to cut off their sensitivity, cut off their desire for space and nature and peace, cut off access to their hearts, or they would be crushed by the overwhelm. They harden themselves to get by, to get through, to get on. They overstimulate and over schedule, just to make it through the endless hustle required to exist there.

Because if God forbid they slowed down, they might FEEL something. If they stopped drinking caffeine and alcohol and chasing them with xanax, they might realize they ache for something they can’t even put into words. They might realize that they feel claustrophobic and abused by the noise and concrete and isolation. They might realize they long for quiet. They long for community. They long to put their bare feet in dirt. They long to eat vegetables grown on their own land.

What’s the solution? I’m not sure, but I know how to start. I suppose awareness is the beginning. Then a realization that IT CAN BE DIFFERENT. Then a desire to shift. Then a realignment of values, and an outpouring of creativity. The kind of miraculous creativity that only a human being who feels that they have no other choice has access to … the kind of creativity we can tap into when there is no other way out.

In my experience, problems can never be solved from the consciousness level at which they were created.

What if every single one of those epic New York brains was redirected at how to make their world kinder, more caring, more sustainable, more loving, more beautiful, healthier and more nature filled?

Raise the consciousness level first. Then reimagine EVERYTHING.

Smug much? As if Judy had ever seen MY DINNER WITH ANDRE or is even acquainted with the work of Louis Malle, Andre Gregory, and/or Wallace Shawn! It is to laugh!

Bottom Picture: All growed up, paying her rent, and far, far away from the big bad city.

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Update: The idiot woos respond. What the fuck is Mia “Lips” Cara even talking about? And if Jon Perachiotti used to pal around with Andre Gregory’s son, why is he friends with a culturally illiterate asshat like Julia Allison?

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College Sophomore Julia Allison Is Spittin’ Mad

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The world is a terrible place! Donkey would love to get involved and repair all of the injustices out there … but not right at this moment. She’s got a date with Mr. BMOC tonight – Adams Morgan or bust! – and Dadsers promised to take the family to St. Barts for Halloween. Thank goddess there’s always time to feign outrage online:

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How do you pay the rent, Donkey?

Bottom Video: Pleasurable Embarrassment.

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