A beloved basement dweller let me know I was mentioned here so I came by to see what’s what, and want to clarify some untruths I see floating around. This is TL:DR level, so for those of you who care:
I didn’t try to move to LA, I did move to LA. In November of 1999, before I had ever heard of a donkey. I also did not move to LA to be a blogger or internet fame ball, I’m pretty sure you can do that from anywhere, no? I also had never blogged before at this point. Not publicly anyway, though I’ve always been online and used to frequent LiveJournal…
In reality, I was 20 when I move to LA from Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. I was emancipated when I was 15 years old because my mother was all kinds of abusive. I went through a lot: group homes, foster homes, court cases to gain my independence from my mother and a broken system. Years of therapy, which I still attend because it’s good for you!
I wanted to move as far away from her as possible, somewhere I could create my own life that had nothing to do with my past. I did attempt music and acting and achieved moderate pseuo-recognition, but no kind of “fame” by any means. I really just wanted to try my hand at doing whatever made me happy and feel I was being creative, so that’s what I did. I’ve always love to write, make music, sing, was a drama nerd in HS… I just wanted a life on my own terms. I also worked in the fashion industry as a buyer and production manager, as I pursued creative interests.
Unlike a donkey, I have worked my entire life to support myself, since I didn’t have parents to count on. Hence my venom towards an entitled, spoiled, narcissistic, anti-feminist piece of shit. I started my first blog, a fashion blog, in the early 2000’s, I want to say somewhere between 2004-6 , which is when I first ever heard of a donkey. It was during the redacted era. I hardly never posted photos of myself or my outfits in any kind of “consistent content” way, nor shared about my life in great detail, so I’m not sure where the fameball BS comes from. Years later I was offered opportunities to host a web series on social media and a few other similar things, because that is the vertical I work in and I was prominent on a variety of social networks. Of course I said yes, this was great for marketing my services and establishing thought leadership to gain better clients.
When I created Life On Blast, which I remember as being well received by the majority of catladies actually, it was NOT meant to be a version of NonSociety. In fact the goal was to create a space directly opposite: that featured cool, creative projects and ideas made by OTHER people, and transparent dialogue about real world things we grapple with as we build our adult lives. At first I played with the idea of showing what the lives of a few actually hard-working, motivated women with unique careers was like in reality, because I hated how Julia presented a cotton candy, anti-feminist, filtered version of what the twenty something life was like. No pointing at shoes and notes in the margins: I was hoping we would talk about pressures, challenges, and earned victories. To motivate others and help them to realize that they don’t have to follow the same formula in their lives as whats presented to us.
At the time I was at the beginning of my career as a marketing strategist, (actually) working for myself. Another girlfriend wrote for a well known trash-mag, another was a production editor for an entertainment channel on TV you all probably flip through, another a makeup artist and stylist for TV and entertainment, etc. I never actually ended up implementing this aspect of Life On Blast fully, because I found it increasingly challenging to get everyone consistently creating content on a deadline in addition to their work demands. It was hard for me to manage on top of writing and reading content for the site and keeping up with OMG work.
Sorry guys but its annoying as fuck that if you create a website, make videos, or whatever… you must be a fameball. Some people are just ambitious with ideas and the ability to create a platform. I didn’t want to be famous I wanted to figure out how to make a living doing what I love, and I love to make things and share my story. I can see how that may appear somewhat narcissistic but that really isn’t where I’ve ever come from. My life has been unique from day one and I’ve overcome a lot of heavy shit. I’ve found it validating and cathartic. Not everyone is a donkey. I’ve always tried to give back by sharing my story, and continue to by working with organizations that empower young girls and abused kids, showing by example how you absolutely CAN overcome.
I didn’t get pregnant on purpose. It shouldn’t bother me now, to hear people who don’t know me or my life say this shit, but it does. No one can ever know what I went through. I started long distance dating my daughters father 3 months after I move to Oregon. He never did anything at all for my career, and at the time I was dating him I wasn’t making videos, music, or blogging consistently. I was working as a marketing strategist and my career had very little to zero overlap with what he could do for someone. I didn’t “move back to Oregon” – I’d never lived here before. Nor did I attend college here. I knew very few people in Portland and had zero support system. I’d met G at SXSW when I was there to speak (for work), a year or so prior to us dating. I genuinely liked him, we flew back and forth visiting each other for a few months, and then BOOM: pregnant. I was 31 and it threw me for a loop. I am pro-choice, but for me personally, as someone who had never been married and was only casually dating I wondered if this might be my only chance to be a mother, something I always saw for myself – so I decided to keep the baby, knowing I’d be at it on my own – G made that clear. The “wallet chasing” bull shit – REALLY? Tell me more. I got zero from him when pregnant, so supported myself fully through a pregnancy in a new city as a self-employed woman with very little local support. I didn’t start getting child support until well after my daughters first birthday, and what I do get is thankfully, enough to cover her pre-school so I can continue to work. It cost $60,000 in legal fee’s to get the child support order. You guys are so off the mark and its insulting on a deep level. I’ve busted my ass to get where I am, wherever the hell that is. G is no longer a deadbeat dad, to be fair. Once the judgement was official, he does pay what he’s supposed to and he’s been more involved with our daughter than he said or I expected. People grow to meet their situations, not all the time, but sometimes.
I have a career I love, a child I love, and a boyfriend I love – though we broke up last night so fuck shit suck, life goes on. But whatever you guys, I’ve never stopped peeping into the basement because I find myself occasionally missing the stench of cheetos and box wine, and Julia has always infuriated and disgusted me. I don’t even have the energy to rant about her anymore. It’s pathetisad at this point. I just wanted to clear up a few things about myself. Think what you will. Thanks to those of you who showed love. The rest? No1curr.