D’oh!

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Even The Woos Are Tired Of This Shit

UPDATE:

Oh honey. So so embarrassing.

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Humblebragging While Bitching About Humblebragging … Same As It Ever Was With This Sloth

 

I know we have touched on this before, but this hypocritical tool:

I haven’t checked my Facebook news feed for two weeks since I’ve been in Costa Rica. Two *EXTREMELY PEACEFUL* weeks where I didn’t hear anything about the politician whose name shall not be mentioned, or any other fear based topic or humble brag or whatever other crap people post.

Given how much better I feel, I’m seriously considering just not checking it ever again.

Related: I also very much want to move to Costa Rica. Facebook is just not very exciting when you can surf your way through a sunset.

LOLOLOL.

a. Is she not the queen of posting hectoring lectures 24/7 about what a hellscape the world is?

b. I WAS IN COSTA RICA I LOVE COSTA RICA I AM GOING TO MOVE TO COSTA RICA SO I CAN SURF THROUGH SUNSETS EVERY DAY LIKE I DO WHEN I GO TO COSTA RICA. No humblebragging there at all. Also, the jump shot, even in a fucking creek in Costa Rica. Oh honey. There are a ton of sloths in Costa Rica. I wonder if that’s why she feels so at home there.

For the past year I have just found this botoxed hippie sloth  so boring, I can barely pay attention to her. But every now and again the inner asshole re-emerges and I realize — she’s still here. The same tool she’s always been. CWAA.

“I do nothing and barely move while hanging out in Costa Rica. Just like Julia Allison! Although she does nothing everywhere!”*

*Apologies to sloths, who are cute and actually support themselves

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Updated: Jena la Flamme’s “Witchy” Bachelorette Party & First Wedding Snap

Donkey might be contemplating leaving Facebook and moving to Costa Rica – isn’t everybody? – but Flim Flam is in for the long con haul.

Christina Morassi, the skankiest woo we’ve ever profiled on RBD, threw Five Head a bachelorette party and look whose mommy showed up:

“Don’t worry, Jena. I will always provide for you and beloved, magical Deadbeat. I’ve even left you the Harlem townhouse.”

The day of Infinite Horror arrives! Is that Nisha Moodley in culturally appropriated getup?

Bottom Picture! Honeymoon in Switzerland, Jena? Surely the caca(o) king’s pursuit of a green card and California squatter’s rights won’t stop the two of you from jetting overseas to take care of those kids?

Update: More wedding fauxtos. “Jena & Sacha unite in an infinite dance.” What could possibly go wrong?

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Updated: Jess Johnson Plays Ria To Donkey’s Jena la Flamme

Of course leering Schmachtenberger loves this picture. He’s hitched to polymorphous, polyamorous bondage queen Roxanne DePalma.

Not to worry, Rain! Any hints of same-sex love are only for all the boys. Just ask Flim Flam as she heads down the aisle today with green card wannabe Sacha Nielsen.

In other news, Madame Tuusaud a Balthazar fingerbanger discovers sugar is poison! Last month on GMA:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/sugar-diet-author-dave-zinczenko-44408232

Bottom Eyeroller! Ali Shanti makes her “many” friends’ suicides all about Ali:

Just say no!

Update: Of course …

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