Updated: Donkey Desperate For Good Tunes! Rain PhutrePhuckPhace No Longer Cutting It?

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Trouble in communal paradise? Is our burro no longer inspired by the Thorazine-induced song stylings of her latest balding DJ and failed relationship?

He’s no Disney soundtrack, that’s for sure.

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Update: Boo hoo! Another dream lover got away, this one with an I.Q. in the three-digit range. Always the bridesmaid … unless she’s marrying herself.

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Posted in Uncategorized | 81 Comments

Updated, Now With Deranged Narcissist Alexis Neely: Donkey’s New SJW Spokesmodel Gig?

This endorsement, from the woman who revealed her mother’s sexual assault to the world in the hopes of winning a Twitter argument and who cried rape in college whenever she missed an essay deadline:

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I just kant.

Update: Though Ali Shanti didn’t write about the Nimb Ring, which is an old story that Donkey is just now posting, the old raunch did respond to the overwhelmingly negative comments made about Alex Lightman’s appalling essay on the UK, which Shanti posted and referred to as “genius.” Proving once again why she’s The Worst Person in the World, Skankatron turns Lightman’s very specific remarks about the EU vote into ludicrous mumbo jumbo, ultimately making it all about herself. Unfucking believable:

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Posted in Uncategorized | 135 Comments

Updated, Now With Noodles: Tawdry, Unnerving, Spleen-Busting Weekend Snippets

While we were worrying about the UK and wondering if Donkey is at Spahn Ranch, Noodles “I wandered into RBD to find out what this is about but refuse to look at the posts” Moodley found herself knocked up:

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congrats

Noodles has devoted an endless blog post to the greatest miracle of our time: http://nishamoodley.com/baby/

Over in Boulder, revolting Ali Shanti, AKA Alexis Neely, is over the moon re: the UK leaving the EU:

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Parse away!

To the people of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, from a descendant of Macbeth:

A majority of you voted to leave the failed bureaucratopia that is the European Union. Congratulations. The majority of you made the right choice, and in doing so, you conferred legitimacy upon all the other trapped citizens to get their referenda also.

You might feel a little alone, more vulnerable, facing an uncertain future.

Please know, from a person who knows the darkness at the heart of the people who run the world from the shadows, that today, once again, Great Britain (and Northern Ireland) were really really GREAT again.

You struck a blow for freedom.
You struck a blow for authentic democracy.
You showed courage and self-reliance.
You thought for yourselves.

You rejected the outrageous interference of Barack Obama, who had no more business sticking his ego into your national affairs than David Cameron would telling India how to vote.

You rejected the self-serving advice of brutal soul-less bankers and billionaires, who want your freedoms limited only to being able to buy their products, services, and propaganda. You set back their agenda and showed everyone on earth that it is possible to beat the bankers and billionaires and their favorite puppet Prime Minister.

The reality is that, as in picture of walking to a brighter future, the U.K. faces a brighter future.

Why? Because you just hit the reset button. Two of the coolest smartest most fun people I know have tattoos of reset buttons and they press them to remind themselves of their optimal state.

You just reset yourselves. You get to remember who you were before the Puppetmasters dug their virtual claws into your brains and you were brainwashed, after almost a thousand years of safety by relying on yourself, to give up your sovereignty and to subjugate yourselves to mostly faceless bureaucrats. You forgot who you were, a lion fooled by sheep into thinking he was a vegetarian and a herd animal.

With all the rhetoric, what was the glue that held European countries together?

Anti-Americanism. America saved the UK twice in the 20th century, and this anti-Americanism was thus something you could never really get with the program about. Unlike France and other socialist paradises basked in delusions of grandeur.

The UK is now free to protect its borders from the people who don’t respect its traditions. You don’t have to take in any criminal who evaded the border checkpoints of a continent that has more or less given up pretending to have borders.

The U.K. is now free to create a trade treaty with the US and be closer to to the US.

The U.K. is now free to be the leader of the Anglo-Sphere. Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand and probably even Singapore and Malaysia are eager to see you succeed.

The U.K. is now free to rebuilt the Commonwealth and be its leader. Wow! How exciting!

And you are now free to return to be the leading social innovator, the country that created the Magna Carta, the works of Shakespeare, modern shipping, banking, trading and insurance, the nation that ended the maritime trade in slavery.

Go be yourselves again.

Go be great again.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. But why bother even caring about what happens in the UK, or in the USA for that matter? Not when you can set up shop in …

alidishrag

Duckface, also of Spahn Ranch, will sing us out …

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Update: Noodles, who apparently does read RBD whenever we post anything about her, responds:

Hi Not! Random! Please show me where on my website I promote motherhood as an area of expertise because if it actually exists (which is news to me) it should be removed. I’m no expert on motherhood. I have a 19 year old step-daughter from my marriage (we met when she was 7), but being a step-mom of a child who doesn’t live with you is not remotely the same thing as being a mother. I think it’s fair to say that I don’t know the first thing about motherhood.

Yes, I read this post and I’ve been looking through all of your comments. No, I’m not the first woman ever to have an unplanned pregnancy and sure as hell won’t be the last. Yes, Noah and I are still together, really happy (albeit somewhat stressed about the usual stuff – money, work, moving), and moving into a new place next week…by ourselves. I hope I don’t end up a single mom, and he’s been very engaged and dedicated so far, so I hope it stays that way. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult single-parenting must be.

Posted in Uncategorized | 141 Comments

Hypocritical Donkey With Bad Memory

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I find it strange that Donk is on FB praising Alicia Keys for confiscating smartphones at her concerts.

“Brilliant solution,” a donkey brays. “I could see this happening for weddings / conferences / etc.”

Oh honey. Does anyone remember this made-up question that was a thinly veiled screed against Dan’s wife for banning phones at their wedding when she briefly had the Social Studies column that she completely fucked up?

And someone called her on it on her blog.

Posted in Uncategorized | 172 Comments

BM Visionary Rainbow Allison Promotes “Conscious Housing,” Or, Down With Suburbia And Dadsers & Momsers’ Lakefront Property!

Like Jess Johnson, celebrated architect & urban planner Julia Allison and annoying fucktard Ryan Allis are changing the course of history:

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Julia Allison Baugher is one of the dumbest people I’ve ever known, so I’m assuming Ryan Allis, who rents space at Harvard for business conferences that have no relation to the university, is behind this fiasco and secured the illustrious speaking gig. Won’t everyone be too aya’ed upped and orgied out to give two craps, other than Ali Shanti?

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Is newly single Donkey banging ineffable Ryan? If so, I’m assuming she did an audit on his books before the second date blowjob.

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Pucker up & blow, Julie!

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Posted in Uncategorized | 91 Comments