RBD Primer

For newbies and white knights:

In response to comments like “I feel sorry for the people here who seem to waste an inordinate amount of time and energy criticizing this woman’s life. Don’t you have anything better to do?”, “You must be fat jealous haters”, and “Who is Greg/Alex/Cancer Dan/Goat Soap/MMBH/Pancakes/NGMB/TK/Prom King?”, we’ve set up this handy dandy resource to answer these very questions!

Required Donkology reading:
1. Mediabistro article: Becoming Julia Allison
2. Baugher – the original Julia reblogger
3. Discussion of the many callous and thoughtless things Julia Allison has done in her life, plus links to relevant background posts
4. Links in the sidebar, under “Places We Like To Frequent”
5. Over three years of archives
6. The somewhat outdated Glossary
7. Below, longtime catlady mcakez explains some of the reasoning for this site and what motivates the commenting community.

“Hi, sane person, my handle is mcakez. I admit that isn’t my ‘real’ name, as it is a bit of a permutation on a former nickname that adapted as a joke in the #rbns chat, and somehow stuck. At the same time, I’ve been relatively open about my persona online, here and elsewhere, so I’m not completely anonymous. That said, I figure I am willing to give you insight into why I post here, all facetiousness and mockery aside.

I found this place after seeing it mentioned on Gawker. Since you seem to be new to the Julia Allison phenomenon, let me explain for a second that Gawker — if you are not familiar with it — is a website that focuses on news and often media/web-oriented material. It has changed a lot in the last few years, so referencing here seems almost pointless, but I point it out because that site is how I found out about Julia Allison, and that site is also largely responsible for the attention she gets today.

You see, Julia and Gawker had a bit of a love-hate relationship. They posted about her, people reading hated it, but tuned in to that hatred in a sort of concerted miasma of dislike. The more people disliked her, the more Gawker posted about her. The more Gawker posted about her, the more she began leaking information to them about her life. This is not fabrication — there was a strange symbiotic relationship there. She would turn to them to leak information, and they would ‘leak’ it in order to get ‘hate-clicks,’ if you will.

That is sort of the origin of hostility. It is well documented that Julia Allison would use Gawker to up her visibility, something that site enjoyed because it was full of self-proclaimed snarky assholes who were attuned to the power of ‘personal branding’ and how the internet breeds ‘fameballls’ and narcissists.

The thing you might not know, as a relative newcomer to the public life of Julia, is that the entire function was sort of quid pro quo. The site eviscerated Julia, but gave her attention, and she leaked to the site to court that attention. Before you begin to curse her ‘haters’ you must understand how she encouraged that image as a form of ‘branding.’

I could link to relevant posts here, but Gawker’s articles and commenting section are so unwieldy and user-unfriendly at this point that I cannot even begin to navigate them. I apologize. Suffice to say there is plenty of documentation, including that Wired article that Julia herself loves to brag about.

Without going into the intervening years, I will fast-forward to my personal introduction and interest, and what I have learned in that time. I do this because other people have their reasons for being here, and I do not want to step on their toes for giving an explicit reason for each person’s involvement.

I learned about Julia Allison when she still had the aforementioned symbiotic relationship with Gawker. It was during a period of time between boyfriends for her, when she was threatening to quit the internet. It was a bit of a rabbit hole for me. Reading about her called to mind other people I’ve known with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Sociopathy. This woman who was courting fame while evading any personal responsibility resonated with me with regards to people I knew in my own life. You will find, if you searched around here, that many people refer to the “Julia” in their lives. While there are many different reasons that people are here, you will find that many of them are here because they have had a relationship with a narcissist/Borderline/Sociopath and this is a comfortable place to explore the depths of those disorders with others who have experienced it. Julia has become a universal signifier of a toxic personality under which many can rally and heal.

I state again, of course, that is just the attraction for some people — myself included — a way to understand the miserable and untenantable in our own lives. Many others have found their common ground in other elements.

To be quite plain: Some people here have known Julia in real life, and she has shown herself to be quite horrible. Some people here have been victims of her attacks as she sought fame without regard to the suffering of others. Some here have born financial burden when she used them and failed to repay. Some here have known her casually, but heard the complaints of their friends who’ve been abused by her. Some here work in the same fields she tries to claim as expertise, despite abusing her position and/or casting a negative light onto the profession. Some here know the stories that follow her bad behavior, and have since come to express their frustrations. Some here are her ‘friends’ who she has abused. Some here are the wives and girlfriends of her former lovers. Some here are her former lovers.

She leaves a wide train of burned bridges behind her. Something you probably are not familiar with, having just seen her for a few edited minutes on a TV show. Again, I say this not to disparage you, but to ask you to investigate more completely this board into which you’ve fallen.

A SHORT list of things that she has done in the time I’ve been observing her includes the following (links are available if you felt inclined to investigate):

*Julia Allison took to Gawker to claim that part of her falling out with her ex was because he was ‘bipolar’ and refused medication.
*Julia Allison then e-mailed said ex and tried to get him to buy her a laptop ‘promised’ before they broke up, and before she outed his alleged condition.
*Julia Allison used a claim that ‘that was months ago,’ to try and ply said boyfriend into buying her said laptop.
Julia Allison repeatedly congratulated herself on not drinking, and kept a spread sheet (published online), and mocked people who indulged in alcoholic libations, while repeatedly indulging in alcohol and publicly drinking (including on her shot.)
*Julia Allison repeatedly mocked her then-boyfriend, who she labeled ‘Prom King’ for not being smart enough for her refined tastes.
*Julia Allison outed the names of her assorted ‘boyfriends’ through THIS website. Curiously, she then used her father’s legal authority to try and shut this site down.
*Julia Allison repeatedly entered the chat of this website to interact with people here, and then complained about the information she herself leaked.
*Julia Allison dated a man (later confirmed to be Taylor Greason) through the months of October and November, while simultaneously dating Jack McCain.
*Julia Allison lamented the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords by posting a picture of said political official’s wedding day, and questioned the proliferation of guns, while simultaneously complimenting her ‘good friend’ Megan McCain on getting a gun as a Christmas gift.
*Julia Allison tried to get out of a twitter argument about rape by outing her own mother’s sexual assault by saying, “I was inside!”
*Julia Allison physically assaulted an ex who did not want to talk to her when he ran into her on the street and tried to walk away. She went on to publicly disparage him and further out more details about their former relationship.
*Julia Allison promised to accompany a friend to Paris, then claimed to have a ‘sinus infection’ that prevented her from going, but did not prevent her from going to the desert for four days and taking lots of pictures. As of this date, she has not (according to public records) paid for her meager $200 fee for camping.
*Julia Allison posted numerous photos of her dying grandmother, and generally attempted to drain every drop of sympathy for her grandmother’s condition, months before her grandmother passed.
*Julia Allison repeatedly and unnecessarily name-drops her exes, including those now married or engaged, and has posted on their facebook pages with overly familiar comments.
*Julia Allison e-mailed the fiance of one of her long-ago exes to claim that there was ‘overlap’ between them. She has alternately claimed that she was ‘drunk’ and embarrassed, or unashamed and the fiance “deserved to know.”
*Julia Allison says she is a pescatarian and claims she is pro animal welfare, but frequently purchases leather and claims she was unaware or just ignores the charge.
*Julia Allison once claimed that you should never let a significant other have your passwords, then changed her tune to publish a barely seen TMS column about being security-open. This happened after she had been caught looking at her former boyfriend’s e-mail/text messages and responding to people pretending to be him.
*Julia Allison claimed to be offering gift cards as give-aways on her website, but when money got tight she tried to sell said gift cards at a 10% discount on the remainder (I don’t remember the specific amount, but it was something like $438 card for $400!)
*Julia Allison took to Gawker to out her ‘good friend’ Randi Zuckerberg’s husband when he tried to plan a surprise birthday party for Randi, just because she felt neglected that she wasn’t involved in that year’s party.

There is so much more. I honestly doubt you’ve read this far, ‘sane person.’

I just figured I would try and take away all facetiousness and give you a little background into the things that make the woman you see on TV for 20 minutes a week so gross.

There are people who post here now who once stood where you did. I say that honestly. A few months ago, someone came in here spouting the same “Why do you hate?” rhetoric. It really can be quite difficult to wrap your brain around, on the surface, especially if you’ve not done due diligence into the rabbit hole contained here.

That said (again, if you’re still reading, or ever read), I mostly fell into this community because, honestly, this is a damn literate, accomplished, intelligent and funny group of folks. If Julia can claim one thing to her credit, it is that she probably has the most literate and hysterical haters on the reality TV planet.

I hope you read all this, sane person, because this is a genuine attempt at dialogue. May you find the reason beyond the madness here, as we all did, because this is a great bunch of people.” [link]

“Just as a suggestion, read the links supplied here (they are below the poll), just to get a sense of Julia Allison outside the TV show you probably have seen.

There have been many ‘great’ (by which I mean sad and offensive) moments sense then, but that is a nice prep course in some of the things that make people accumulate here.

A second thing that makes people accumulate here is that there are lots of funny, intelligent, well-read commenters. If you’ve been wondering what to put on your reading list next, there tend to be great recommendations in almost any thread. The people in this here hater basement are very servicey.

Finally, don’t feel sorry for me, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!! And that is all that matters, right?!” [link]

“Elsewhere I linked a post where I described the different ways this place has provided a ‘social phenomenon’ for many of us. For example, many of us have dealt with people like Julia — sociopaths, narcissists, grifters and liars — and in a way being a part of this site has allowed catharsis and understanding. This is part of what attracted me, personally, having to deal with a few different ‘Julia’s in My Life.’ It’s sort of pop culture psychology, or critical theory, with a unified object of interest to explore and express the feelings many people feel in diverging circumstances.

For others, this is a global water cooler. Those are people who’ve had to deal with her personally, or who are friends/loved ones of those who’ve dealt with her personally. Call it a slambook, if you will, but when someone courts fame and attention as she does, and screws people over in the process, sometimes it is fun to get together with your friends and just vent.

Consider it also Reality TV 2.0. That is Julia’s wildest dream, honestly; the idea that we’ve been watching an edited version of her ‘life’ online (where she tries to control the editing) and laughing at the gaffs, lies, and infuriating behavior. She sought and she got, honestly, and for some of us it is our own little online ‘reality’ show that existed before she got her dream reality show.

It is a very interesting social phenom, to be sure, but not necessarily as sad as you make it out to be. Especially considering the quality of many of the commenters. Most reality stars should be so lucky as to have such an enchantingly creative, funny, intelligent and well-spoken audience.” [link]