Why Must Alex Marson Be A Teenager In Love?

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My, my, how many times have we seen similarly gushy, adolescent Hallmark TV-movie posts from Donkey’s suitors?

One year ago today, I posted a photo of me and my new girlfriend, the legendary Julia. One year later I’m even more an excited to post a new one… very much in love with this incredible woman who has transformed my life and filled it with joy.

Who could have dictated such drivel?

Ah, yes. The legendary mulia.

One suspects the inevitable breakup post will look exactly like Rain and Devin’s ta-tas.

Dion and The Belmonts will sing us out!

104 COMMENTS

  1. Absolutely every couple,that I have witnessed to post these over the top posts, complete with said response in comments(it’s like textbook to the T), relationship implodes! It is only a matter a time. I am always weirded out by couples who converse on FB or even worse, group text messages. Don’t you talk to one another at home?!?! Face to face?!?

    • She calls every adult man she dates, or who sends her packing, “babe.” Publicly.

      “Keep that helo in the air, babe!”

      Boring. They seem so interchangeable to her, just additions to the Excel spreadsheet she has on several occasions described keeping about men, details about their lives, dates, etc.

    • She’s like that parody bachelor party video clip in Jerry Maguire because he didn’t know how to really care about women. Dual gun hands, “Love ya too!” snap!

  2. We can expect a basic engagement soon. A hotel, rose petal strewn bed, and champagne. Dodi doesn’t seem like the “here is a selection of dresses to choose from” type (as her previous suitors) but he seems pretty basic and non-imaginative in the romance department.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      He hasn’t coughed up a ring yet, and I think the longer he goes without it the less likely he’ll marry her. Maybe he likes it this way – no official commitment

    • I imagine she’s already clearly described her expectations and he will follow instructions accordingly. He seems to accept her scripts.

      • No one’s followed her hackneyed scripts with such fidelity since base model Devin Stetler and Judy’s been telling folks that she’ll be Mrs. Alex Marson in 2020. Before or after her triumph as Journalith Judy?

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          She hasn’t been able to drag any of them across the finish line yet — or even close to it. Not even Devin Stetler, and she certainly tried with that one.

          If Son of Sam is going to marry her, why is he taking so long?

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            That’s long enough for people approaching middle age to decide if they’re going to marry or not

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Maybe with Devin Stetler, of the Easter Island Stetlers?

          • She was with Rain for 2 1/2 years, which might actually be Donkey’s longest romantic relationship (though he dumped her a few times before finally kicking the old grey mare to the curb).

  3. He must be quite weird/damaged. She’s a huge risk, and we know how horribly clingy, selfish, and needy she is in relationships. They can’t even have authentic, adult conversations, it’s all over-the-top cliche teenage-like crap.
    Hopefully he will marry her and provide us entertainment for years to come.

    • I don’t disagree with any of this, but it does seem as though she’s been able to fool plenty of people — men and women — for varying periods of time. None of them have a clue what’s lurking in there until that narcissistic wound is triggered, and what follows surprises all of them, or it looks that way. I don’t think it’s just Dodi,* is what I’m saying. She changes her personality and costumes for each of them, and the one she designed for him is still working, which is, admittedly, odd.

      *Every time I see him I’m reminded of a character actor, the kind that works just enough to keep his SAG card, like “Scientist #3” on Bones. “Guy Who Interviews To Be Joey’s New Roommate” on Friends.

      • I’ve been watching old Mission: Impossible episodes – Peter Graves didn’t even star in the first season! – and Dodi would fit right in on the early series, not as a character actor but as one of the background heavies. Someone with no lines, a day player who was sent over from central casting. He looks like something out of another century. Does anyone else get this vibe?

      • He’s got that Jason Segal/Seth Rogan thing going on. Everybody’s best friend but also the one we don’t notice so much.

        Wait…I might be falling in love.

        Given Donkey’s need for attention, Dodi might be the perfect complement to her.

        Shit,.she stole my man.

  4. “the legendary”? c’mon now.

    post so obviously written in her way of speaking. she probably has the passwords to his social media accounts as part of her “publicist” persona and updated – sort of like buying flowers for yourself on your birthday.

    also, would have thought that he’s far too busy at work to remember to the exact day they met.

    • jfaing to correct the above: remembering the day you met is plausible, but remembering the exact day you post a photograph of your s.o.? nope.

      i give this one four pinnochios.

      • So, Donkers is in his Fecebook every day to see what pops up in his history? And then she posts accordingly, as him, using a selfie that she obviously took which probably isn’t even on his phone?

        Yeah, exactly who is supposed to be buying this bullshit? Us? Him? His colleagues? His exes. I mean, does he know she has his password or does she try to fool him that he somehow accidentally left his account open on her phone or laptop, LOL?

        Is anyone else reminded of the time she posted alleged conversation with Pancakes that had him using both “Julia“ and “Allison”? what was it… “I love you Julia Allison“? Seems like that might even have been on the occasion (Valentines Bray?) where she was gorging entire chocolate bars in the aisle / isle / I’ll (hi mmbh!) of Ho Foods… Yeah, being as infatuated with her own name SP is with her own image does tend to give her away.

        I’ll see your four Pinocchios and raise you five donkey tails.

        • Confirmed: Donk wrote Dodi’s wikipedia page and created that second IG page. One assumes she has ALL THE PASSWORDS.

          • Never forget: she posted this appalling fauxto of herself!

            Shut yer maw, Donkey. You’re letting the flies out.

          • Someone else posted and edited Latka’s Wiki page (a Yale student who had also posted for a class on Mayan architecture) but I totally believe it was at A Donkey’s behest. Hope Yale student got PAID.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          I think her intended audience is All of the Above.
          Remember when she tried to will Devin Stetler into proposing? With that trip to Europe (and the ridiculous photos) and the ring she bought for herself, but implied that he did?

      • Shes been known to make her boyfriends celebrate the “anniversary” of their meeting every month, so she probably has been badgering him about updating this status for a long time. She wants people to know shes still staking a claim.

        Either he’s placating her and he really is this much of a dim doormat, or like Handbag says, she’s managed to keep the cray under control so far. I hope he’s smart enough to give this more time before she forces him to capitulate to an engagement. He has a LOT at stake and would be foolish to ignore her history when it comes to freeloading.

        • If there’s any truth to “his” post, Dodi might be creepily captivated by Donk’s infamous past, even seeing her failed reality show as a successful bid for celebrity. He was, after all, trying to angle for his own reality TV shitshow back in the day. If so, these two deserve each other.

          • He had a crush on her back in the NY days, and she did not reciprocate. So this must feel like a win to him.

          • Yes, I don’t feel bad for him at all. Smart does not necessarily translate into wise or sane. His FB profile is fairly fame-whorish himself, with few social photos and most other ones Wired/Sean Parker/look at me talking on stage. Plus his actual original Instagram showed him obsessing over women with body types more like [REDACTED4] which has to sting. I used to think maybe he was being hoodwinked but really he may not just be fine with this.

            If he is walking 1-1.5 miles/day with her and they are having conversations during these 20-30 minutes, and she’s fairly vapid and not all that bright, then what he sees is what he gets, you know? Maybe it’s a match made in heaven! He’s busy at work and has limited time for the nonsense but gets to have sex sometimes. Win-win, I guess? Not my life choices, so doesn’t matter, but I really don’t feel bad for him. He’s an adult and is entitled to poor choices.

          • My uncle worked for the CIA and had an IQ near 160, and ended up marrying a crude chain-smoking woman who read supermarket check-out tabloids and had almost no social filter. She was the love of his life and he was devastated when she died after a 45 year marriage. I never could figure it out.

        • Reasonable woman, your comment is so REASONABLE!!!

          I think he has delusions of grandeur himself and never got over the sting of her rejecting him in NYC, so he’s enjoying his sexual conquest. imo he’ll either pump and dump or wife her up but then get another woman on the side down the road when he’s bored of her, halfheartedly attempt to keep it secret but StalkDonk will bust and then we’ll get a big dramatic DonkShow Divorce.

          Personally I’ve been osculating towards almost rooting for her- maybe she can grow as a person, go to therapy, get a real job, get off the internet and/or obtain a loving family. I’ve sort of reached the level of … “I can’t wait to see what happens next” gif of guy creeping into the threatre and eating popcorn. Dunno what phase that is of the PhDonk though!!

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        I totally agree with you

  5. She’s so not into him. An honor and a privilege? He says he’s in love with her and she says she adores him? Wow Donkey can’t even pretend she likes him.

    • She seems to be enjoying the perks: living off the masculine’s dime, driving around his Mercedes, endless vacations from vacation-itis, and having a home that she doesn’t have to AirBNB in order to survive. Tipsters indicate she’s pushing hard for a 2020 wedding.

          • I kind of feel sad for her. Imagine being so desperate and lacking in financial literacy and marketable skills to support yourself that basically are an escort to some doofus or have to be running airbnb schemes to survive???

            Poor Donk. Get it together Donk!!

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            I suspect he realizes it, on some level. And that may be why he’s not in a rush to put a ring on her hoof. He could be enjoying the sex with the commitment and watching her trying to lock him down.

            A zillion years ago, I briefly dated a guy who *seemed* nice and interesting, but wasn’t attractive. He’s also a doctor and acutely aware that most women were only interested in him for that. Coming from a family of doctors, I wasn’t enthralled by that. I respected his accomplishments, but that was never enough. He had to control women

          • I suspect he realizes it but might prefer it that way? She needs him — that could be comforting to him. He most likely did not do very well at all with women during the key years when his sense of self was formed.

          • She doesn’t actually need “him.” She needs his money and his status and his undivided attention. The question is, how long can she keep pretending to love “him” when what she loves are these other things?

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            *without commitment.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            She needs people to see that she has a masculine in her life

    • OT to yours: was just sent a family text photo of my 17-year-old niece dressed as Velma from Scooby Doo. Family replied: “She is dressed as Never the Bride (me).”

      As the Good Man said, I’ll wear it proudly.

  6. She should have made it work with Devin. All these years later, Dodai does not seem like he’s going to stick (he has too much going for him) while Debbie has some moderate success with his weed business and they could have lived a decent basic life together…really the best she could ask for given that she does NOTHING.

    • settling with devin would have been an admission of defeat for her. julia called him “base model”, meaning he had no upside potential to get her the fame and fortune she thought she deserved. alex is on the up and up – moderately famous, a leader in his field, a founder, and has grant money coming in. i’m wondering if she thinks that by association she’s entitled to a share of said funds – cue the theme music for “the dropout” (elizabeth holmes) podcast.

      can speak first-hand about the social climbing thing. i had two NPD bosses (jiml) and they were both always trying to connect / use their connections for fame and recognition. one sold their business and donated a very-large-sum of money to their new-age church, even though family (kids) needed cash and a head-start. the other tried to ingratiate themself with the current nyc administration, and later ran for local office in one of the inner boroughs, thinking they could win, but coming fourth out of six, with a very small share of the vote.

      • I remember someone visiting the basement last year at this time who said s/he knew Alex and said he was as bad as Donkey when it came to status seeking. It seemed improbable at the time, but since he has lasted this long and hasn’t seen through Donkey yet, it looks like maybe this intel was accurate. Donkey may have met her match.

        • That visitor also sent us an email, which I believe I posted. In Dodi’s defense, his colleagues do seem to like him a great deal and are baffled by the arrival of A Donkey.

          • Maybe she’s fueling that for him and he’s just sort of too busy at work to care? Maybe he’s checked out and just enjoys the company of a pretty on his arm at events?

      • I wonder how much of a leader in his field he really is.

        Gene editing is the new field everybody wants to be in, like nanotechnology was in the aughts or genetic engineering was in the nineties.

        As usual, now they are touting it as the solution to all of mankind’s ills, but I see a lot of unfulfilled promises in the future.

        • Ooh I can help!! I work in this industry and while immunotherapy is the hot new thing, it’s farrrr from proven. And no offense Dodi, I’m really happy for your funding etc, but $85m is not gonna get them a product or into trials. There are dozens of successful CarT and other immunotherapy companies out there already with tons of doctors and researchers on payroll and labs up and running for sourcing, supply chain, and running clinical trials. Look up Kite Pharma, Bluebird, Iovance, etc. Gilead bought kite because it was a longshot but they’re trying to acquire a potential asset and bring a blockbuster to market. Cell therapy has potential but right now it’s so expensive and regulatory, supply chain and development considerations to tackle inhibit actual product roll out. Getting a bunch of MDs and scientists in a room together and raising under $100m is not that impressive. They’re shooting for a quick biotech flip maybe to all get rich together and buy some Bay Area investment properties, but he’s not starting the next Pfizer here. There’s a lot more considerations and infastructure to bring a product to market, let alone running trials etc. Biotech is timultous and industry rises and falls with the economy- we’ll see! It’s good he’s keeping his UCSF connections because going all in on the startup is a risk. UCSF might actually own some of the IP that comes out of this startup as well, I’m not sure their noncompete and/or IP policies. We’ll all just have to wait until next week’s edition of… As the Donkshow Turns

          • I will also add – the one MD I worked with who always went to the Parker institute parties etc the other docs would roll their eyes about him and badmouth him when the left the room for being a self-interested industry sell out, and not really putting patients first.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Thanks for the insidery info!

          • Very interesting.

            So he sounds like a famewhore that is trying to oversell himself.

            I wonder how he could possibly be attracted to the legendary Julia TheyCallMeDonkey Allison.

  7. God, this is embarrassing.

    Interesting news about his startup. Makes it a little more understandable why A Donkey is clinging so hard.

  8. She just posted this:

    “This is my dream.
    My prayer is that America wakes up and starts to build more of these co-housing communities (a la Denmark), which are more eco-friendly, more parent friendly, and more budget friendly. Plus, way less lonely.
    Living alone in a huge house isolated from others makes no sense from a quality of life perspective, nor does it make sense from an environmental perspective.
    The current barrier to entry here is the prevalence of restrictive zoning ordinances in towns where such communities could be build. I’m hoping that will change – because we can DEFINITELY do better.”

    Transbraytion: I want other people to live with me so it’s cheap/free and they do all of the cooking, cleaning and anything I don’t want to to do.
    But if all is well in the Dodi world, why would you want to love like this?

    • Then why fuck did she rent a 4000 sf house in Novato and share it with a boyfriend who wasn’t even there half the time?

      • ACTIVIST JULIA IS A CATALYST FOR LOVE AND THE ULTIMATE EMPATH!

        As such, maybe she can rent out Marson’s third bedroom to some unfortunate homeless soul? I’m sure the good doctor would be thrilled with that plan.

    • “How I love”
      “How I friend”
      Manic posting= he’s working all the time and she’s, well she’s she.
      She should watch Pigeon more when Beaver Mc Scoldy gets back from Bali before Donk heads there soon so Noodles can work on her wokeness scams on the Systxrs.

      • Beaver McScoldy?! Ha ha ha ha!!

        Who’s watching Pigeon while Noodles has more me time in Bali? Is Noah No Vowels still in the picture?

  9. Here’s the thing, though. If you’re into cooperative living/co-housing, why not get involved? If policy change is needed, run for city or county office (depending on who manages those ordinances) or join a Board/Commission that’s advisory to city or county officials. She’s harped on this interest on and off over the years but doesn’t seem to do anything about it. I knew a guy who loved communal living too. He found a great house and made it happen. He also gave talks about it, was involved in activism around it.

    I suspect she appeals to AM’s ego and fluffs him up about how amazing and accomplished he is (She’s very “The Rules”) but at some point someone with accomplishments is going to look at someone who is perpetually on the sidelines and wonder what she’s up to.

    I’d be using condoms AND withdrawal if I were him, especially given how many times she’s said she hates birth control and often goes off of it. Or they could visit the doctor together and he could make sure she gets an IUD in. But then again, I’m not him.

    • If one is an activist, as Donk claims to be, one focuses on a particular social concern, putting all of his or her efforts into raising awareness, managing or changing said concern, and such involvement tends to be quite a big investment, not necessarily in terms of money but definitely in terms of time. Activism DOES NOT consist of sharing three articles re: different social concerns on FB every three days. Surely Dodi and definitely his activist/film producer sister can see through Donk’s BS?

    • There is already co-housing all over the SF area. One of my exes lived in a big co-housing joint in Berkeley 15 years ago. Once again, Judy Albertson is late to the party.

      • Not to mention that “co-living” startups have raised hundreds of millions of dollars in VC funding in the past few years.

  10. I had a thought. With things going the way they are with him, starting a company with a big investment and having a pretty promising future financially, I would bet (and hope) that he would want a pretty strict and ironclad prenup before he puts a ring on anyone’s hoof.

    • JFAing to say, not that this was any earthshaking news, just that it could hold up any official engagement for a while until it gets worked out. Donkey wont want to miss out on the gravy train.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        Unless you guys have some insidery intel, I believe she’ll take pretty much anything just to get married before she’s 40.

        Even if a marriage only lasts a month (or less), being able to *finally* say “when I was married” or “my ex-husband the doctor” matters A LOT to her

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Based on her Wiki entry, she has until February 2021.

        • We will likely never know any prenup existence or details. But if things stretch on for a long time without a proposal, prenup disagreements could be the cause.

          • Let’s hope Ellen and/or Bernie and/or Eve read RBD and insist Dodi get that prenup if he wants to hang on to their California rental properties.

  11. So my take is that the only man she really loved was everyone’s favorite tweedling dirtfest DJ, ILYRain! It was the first time she was willing to rework her weird “status” framework to accommodate a guy, rather than reworking the guy to accommodate her framework. Don’t get me wrong, she liked that he was King o’ the Tweedles, and she His First Dancer Extraordinaire, but he didn’t fit into what she was trying to get done prior. I think she really fell hard for him, and unfortunately since she had done absolutely ZERO work on herself, she had no idea what to do with actual emotion, and went crazy and fucked it up beyond all belief.
    Now that he’s left the licked cake out in the rain, she’s just focused on getting something locked down, and the more perk-filled, the better. It honestly is probably keeping her saner than usual, because she doesn’t have uncontrollable emotions about him; he’s just the masculine who likes being used in a way she’s good at using.

    • A fine analysis, Herr Freud! I’ve wondered if she fell so hard for Rainy because he wouldn’t be pushed around by her (though she did talk him into renting the mausoleum at 55 Wildwood Lane) and insisted on living a polyamorous lifestyle, i.e., banging groupies, when Donk was his primary piece. She couldn’t get her way and it drove our girl mad with desire.

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