Job Alert! Dr. Dodi Is Hiring A Personal Assistant For His Burro


She can’t do it all on her own, people!

Julia Allison is an in-demand lazy layabout, getting up at noon and forgetting to take out the garbage. Skimming news stories before posting them to Facebook and reading her 6510th self-help book for the third time. Wildly spinning her LinkedIn resumé while fantasizing about being a Pulitzer-winning journalith in 2020. Dragging the good doctor to smelly woo gatherings and planning “their” next business conference. Of course she needs a slave personal assistant to run errands for her.

Is Fatty Kate available? Is Charlsie busy?

Dodi’s team can’t stop rolling their eyeballs over Mulia Mallison. Their colleague has full-time posts at UCSF and UC Berkeley’s Innovative Genomics, as well as start-ups Arsenal and Spotlight Therapeutics, and is part of a dream team battling cancer. But A Donkey needs a personal assistant?! She’s a far cry from the UCSF doctor whom Marson was dating prior to hooking up with with a Do Nothing.


    • Doubtful. Judy isn’t “a successful, busy, single professional woman,” especially when the masculine is paying for everything.

      • Also, they’re offering to pay the worker money instead of hiring an “intern” to work for free.

        I’m tending to side with those of you who believe This Donk is “special.” Why else would a grown-up with no job, no children, no yard, no large house, no volunteer work, no hobbies, no responsibilities, and 24 hours a day of free time, need help with the tasks of daily living?

        • This is not an internship – didn’t she try that old ploy when with Devin? Dodi has allegedly been asking around about potential hires. It’s not like he has anything else to do. Oy!

          • Her delusions of being a “power couple” with Derpin were hilarious and disturbing. Surely Dodi had some type of psych rotation; can’t he read the warning signs?

          • do we know if sais assistant is solely for her? if alex is doing the hiring, perhaps the assistant is for him, but also handling her “errands”, lumped into the “any other tasks as directed by…” part of the job description.

  1. My guess is it’s for him but she will quickly grow her “share” of the assistant to more hours than makes sense considering she does nothing. I hope the new assistant is attractive and a hard worker!

    • Melting Marionette and Reasonable Woman win all the awards, which, unfortunately, consist of a half-eaten bag of Cheetos and the medjool dates that Judy forgot to take out with the trash. winky emoticon

  2. Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

    According to reports, he appears to be enthralled with (‘whipped by) her, but he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to put a ring on it

        • She had quite a different take on the homeless in her (Devin’s) neighborhood in LA just a few short years ago. Hypocritical Donkey is hypocritical. But then again, all she’s doing is shape-shifting into whatever she thinks Dodi wants her to be. RUN DODI, RUN.

          • This. She’s not actually making an effort to help or to engage with the homeless, those people less fortunate than America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen.

          • But Gilly, she’s sending prayers! (Oddly reminiscent of the “thoughts and prayers” that Julia and other SJWs make fun of, whenever there is a mass shooting.)

        • Oh yes, she has said some not very nice things about homeless people. Didn’t she also post something awful about not liking seeing all the homeless people when she first moved to SF? Like something she was grossed out/offended by?

          And then there is this:

          And the times she acted like she was fundraising for clean water, then did nothing.

          And how she dumped her used US Weeklies on women living in shelters.

          Strikes me as mildly interested for show… but not really doing anything about it. My grandfather used to buy coffee for homeless people and invite them into a coffee shop for a drink, food, and conversation. Managers sometimes tried to kick them out but he’d point out that, together, they were paying customers. He didn’t solve anything but he didn’t just walk by, day after day, talking about it. He made human connections.

          • It’s all pretense, trying to show the likes of Nisha Moodley that she gives a damn about someone, anyone, other than herself or the current THIS MAN!!

            Regarding those “gently used magazines,” I don’t believe she ever actually donated them, but it’s the thought that counts, eh, Judy?

    • She walks him to work every day???!!! Also her insistence on always calling wherever she lives “our home” is so off-putting somehow.

    • Ha never reads here, was clearing it up about current commute, lol. Walks to his work, “near daily”. And then what does she do?

      • Browses multi thousand dollar wedding dresses online and posts them to Pinterest, and looks up 4000 sf+ real estate in Marin where she won’t have to deal with the homeless on her doorstep.

        • ah, could explain the marin thing indeed, seeing people hustle more than her and yet because capitalism homeless

    • Hey asshole, there are literally dozens of volunteer opportunities DAILY at several charities in the city. And yes I do walk the walk so fuck you with softness in advance. They don’t need your fucking prayers and hashtag activism, you useless lay about garbage person.

  3. Dodi, catch a clue. She has NEVER volunteered for any charitable organization unless someone else talked her into it. This is all FAKE concern on her part just to make you think she cares about shit like this. She does not. She never has, except to post about it and tsk tsk on social media.


    • the “how can we help” line in her post strikes a hollow chord. true intent of post was to make the wives of the founders (her current target) think that she cares more about others than herself.

      julia, actions speak louder than words. answering your question(s) is as easy as going up to the volunteer of the mobile shower you pass every day and asking them “how can i help?”

      • Even Faith Shorney, second-in-command at HIVE, found time to feed the homeless, well, even if she did post pictures of “those people” and treat the activity as a fun lark.

  4. Also: Julia’s interest in Bioneers may have something to do with her desire and ongoing efforts to cozy up to Christiana Musk (and other founders/wealthy dudes’ wives, as previously reported) and by extension Kimbal Musk.

    Just saying…

  5. ot: i had the opportunity this week to visit with a two-year old company who wanted their production processes and supply chain more efficient to take their business to the next level. it was great being around dynamic people. very infectious – the time just flew.

    one of the protagonists was extremely driven – had only four hours sleep on one of the nights because they had an idea that they couldn’t shake and had to nut it out so we could discuss the next day. person was also very humble – wasn’t after fame or fortune, just wanted to make really good product.

    it was an inspiring few days and got me thinking about status and greatness by association.

    does anyone else think that by associating with smart people, julia gets a sense of worth simply by associating with intelligent people? we know that “status seeking” is a narcissistic tendency, but maybe thoughts of “he’s smart, therefore i’m smart” partly fuel her relationship with alex.


    • Shes always been about the reflected glory and how that automatically elevates her to or near the other’s level.

      We could cite example after example, but a very basic one from her recent past would be when she was dating RAIN, who had a minor level of celebrity and visibility among the EDM festival set, which, in her mind, automatically elevated her status, and therefore she felt she was qualified to be up on stage dancing at Red Rocks. She didn’t just limit this to romantic partners, either, which is why she sought out relatives of famous people to suck up to in order to gain access. Randi Z, Musk’s ex wife, Meghan McCain, Tony Robbins’ kids, etc.

      Again, she is about her personal shortcuts to fame and glory. Dodi has no idea how totally insufferable she is going to be as his career status and fortunes rise. She can’t do it herself, so she becomes a human remora.

      • Her attraction to those in power is parasitical and it’s certainly much less about the transmission of energy and being inspired to achieve because, as everyone well knows, Donk never follows through on anything. As mentioned previously, she’s currently mining Dodi’s connections and has tried to get her talons into the girlfriends and wives of various founders, e.g., Alexandra Parker.

  6. > maybe thoughts of “he’s smart, therefore i’m smart” partly fuel her relationship with alex.

    This is sort of why I always thought she rides so hard on the coattails of her Dad, also. Why else would a daughter go with Daddy to his college alumni weekend and be so PROUD to post all about it “Tiger Pride!!!” and dressing up in dumb princeton orange outfits posting selfies all like she went there.

    imo same reason she was so into showing off her (stupid!) underlines and MARGIN NOTES in her donkey scrawl with her stupid fat sausage snapper manicure pointing at the BOOK I AM READING and rudely destroyed with her stupid nonsense notes and highlighting every gd phrase and paragraph. LOOK, THIS IS WHAT SMART PEOPLE DO TO LEARN FROM BOOKS, SEEE????? I’M DOING IT SEE HOW SMART I AM?

    imo Donk was always the family dud who was ugly, unpleasant personality and not smart enough to keep up, hence all the plastic surgeries, obsession with getting fame on the internet, legalese bunnies, powering herself along fail after fail on “scheme juices”, endless lying about her career success, constant spin jobs about her life and bonafides (stfu, wiki editors, I didn’t barely graduate georgetown and I wasn’t a transfer student because my dad had to pull strings after I went to Indianna University (wherever did she transfer in from again?). She never got the attention she thought she deserved as a child so basically since then her entire existence has not been to satisfy herself, be happy or make those she loves happy (or any other higher purpose). It’s to PROVE TO EVERYONE WHO REJECTED HER AND MADE FUN OF HER AND NEVER LOVED HER ENOUGH HOW DESERVING SHE FINALLY IS.

    It’s never gonna end. Poor Gilly and team will never get a break because she’ll never be introspective or disciplined enough to do the real hard work to grow as a person and learn from her past. We’ll have content for ages and as always the Catlady basement will continue to grow with those she’s lied to and screwed over or went crazy on with her internet stalking or insane obsessive behavior.

    • ^THAT^

      The way I see it, one-upping Little Brother Britt is and has most definitely been a subliminal driving force of La Burra (who, discounting the various and sundry personae she’s tried on for size depending on the flavor of the month whose wallet she’s trying to get into, is only as intelligent and multifaceted as a bisected sweet potato turd) — but, thanks in no small part to the tutelary deity of Republican housewifery, NuttyGranny MoneyBags, a NYT Living Section wedding and allowance (or structured settlement, so long as either precedes the verbiage ”of epic proportions”) were the only achievements Donkers needed to set her wonkeye on and put her efforts into — learning from lolyer Pettifogger that one can lie for a living makes Mulia the sane, happy raftass she is today.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Nah. He likes ’em young and attractive

    • Yes, yes, and yes. The desperate need for attention, the constant drive to prove that she has two brain cells even though she’s always out of her league will never cease. She’s an emotional vampire on the level of Marilyn Monroe.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      Good points and analysis, but I don’t think it’s even that deep. I’m pretty sure it’s just a matter of wanting to be able to brag or have people believe she’s accomplished things she hasn’t. Like her overeager trips to Princeton events — she posts pics and acts so enthusiastic so that people will assume she went there.

      • I’d argue that it is deep, because it’s a crystal clear pattern of behavior that indicates a deeper psychological issue. I think she’s terrified of being found out as a phony empty suit, and all of this is just camouflage.

        I just hope Dodi sees and realizes this before he’s in too deep. She’s going to severely hamper his career by control-freaking it to meet her needs first.

        • Mistress Try-Too-Hard allegedly pesters him constantly when Dodi is at work. His colleagues have made numerous comments about her when he’s out of earshot. None of those comments are complimentary.

          This will not end well, but we knew that.

  7. Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

    Has nobody else seen Son of Sam’s new profile pic and his gushing tribute to Donk?

    I’m not sure what we can and can’t post now, so…


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