Leisure Donk!

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More vacations from vacation-itis, another Burning Man wedding, and what the … ?

If it weren’t for the weddings, Camp Septic would be just dust, dirt, and drugs. Thankfully our girl, who hitched her wagon to herself back in 2014 – why not? – was there to help Annie & Eben (who reminds us of trees) renew their vows:

Was the second walk down the aisle as enchanting as the first?

Jess Magic’s FB profile picture, with beau Petey Pineapple:

Petey Pineapple’s FB profile picture, with … Julia Allison?

66 COMMENTS

    • Excuse you! Major IG influencers Jordan Reid, Wendy K. Yalom, and Julia Price liked Judy’s throwback post!

      THIS IS SOCIAL MEDIA SUCCESS!!

      • Thank you. Giving her the benefit of the doubt (when will I learn?), I thought that since I use no social media (except RBD), I got the concept, which I first heard about at least five years ago, somehow wrong. Nope, it turns out that I, non-user of social media, understand it better than the social media maven. Imagine my shock.

  1. She’s so baked in that first photo. Usually when she starts a streak of posting old photos, it’s some kind of self-soothing mechanism. It’s so calming for her to look at herself. Think about that, Alex Marson.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      I have a neighbor whose daughter used to love to stare at herself in the lobby mirrors. She was 2. She no longer appears to do this

  2. Fixed: “Who came up with this silly idea I’m currently partaking in that serves as false modesty while insincerely stating that I’ll never do it again?”
    Windows are less transparent than a donkey, and also, don’t threaten us with a good time.
    Dodi must have told her he likes her with no make up and a scrunched up wrinkled & greasy face (that’s some combo skin)

    • You’re on to the reason for less/ no ramshacklespackle on her, as of late, as it were, literally, to laugh. Think she stopped shaving/waxing too?

  3. First, Albie, thank you for a new spiffy name!

    Second, Curling Irons at Dawn: sadly I don’t remember when this happened, but I believe Donk was showing her smarts to the internet by means of digging up her old letters that she wrote to some poor guy she met (?) during that semester in Ecuador where she, with all her smarts, felt dumb because she couldn’t communicate with her usual charm. IIRC, her Christmas present to the guy (back in the US?) was a folder of copies of his letters to her and her letters to him, which 1) totally normal, 2) how nice. And I believe it was in one of those letters that she just HAD to take and post a picture of where she used some quote (sorry I don’t remember what it was about) she ascribed to Spinoza. And she accompanied that letter with her usual commentary full of wit and charm: “What kind of a 20-year-old quotes Spinoza? Only a special LAWYER’S DAUGHTER!!!! TEE-HEE-HAW!!!!”

    Which would all have been pure gold in itself, but then a literate catlady found out it was actually a R. L. Stevenson quote, not Spinoza’s.

    I am sorry your favorite writer was exposed to this donkery. Maybe someone who knows their way around archives can find this episode?

      • I love this comment by Mcmcakez re: Judy’s reading habits:

        I didn’t need to read it. My mother read it in the womb and I dove deep into it, let it wash over me in in undulating osmositic waves of literary ecstasy.

        However, having exhausted the classics thusly by the time I was teething, I now invest my all-fullness in the deeply enriching reading of self-help books that are so obscure they haven’t even been written yet.

      • Remember her bragging about reading the Feminist Mystique in Hugh school, and then going around school crossing out any masculine pronouns she found. Between Spinoza (more like Spicoli in her case) and Friedan, somehow after she stopped getting actual literature as assignments, her reading took a hard left turn into pathological self-help.
        Also, I’d forgotten she misspelled Hemingway’s name in her final book proposal, as well as Wolfe’s name, and Bleecker St. This is why we shake our heads and laugh. There’s nothing she doesn’t act like a total jerk about. Brag about how freaking erudite you are and then fall on your face in the same document. It is to laugh.

  4. Bottom pic: of course that’s Donkey; I’d recognize that nozzle anywhere. Top pic: when your enormous fake chompers look better than any of your other facial features, you’re doing something wrong, selfie-taking-wise (AND selfie-posting-wise.)

    • Top picture: When your SO’s reflection appears on the door frame of the car behind you while you take your own fauxto to post later in pretense of how much fun the two of you were having together, he may want to reevaluate whether or not you’re willing to make room for him too, or just his wallet (and the free roof he’s putting over your ginormous head).

      PS Donkers — do you still keep a fauxto of yourself on your bedside table?

  5. I know we all hoped Donkey would dial back on the spackle, but I am the first to admit that the zero spackle look, especially when she’s dressed for a wedding, may not be the right answer, either.

  6. This. Or maybe just stop taking / posting horrifying close-up selfies? That doesn’t tend to be a good look on anyone. (I’d say stop taking / posting selfies at all, but I know a windmill when I see one.)

  7. I think I may suggest a sequin bolero jacket, a leather top hat, and shirtless (leather?) collar and cuffs to my husband for our next formal event. But what do you wear with all that going on up top? Maybe his nice velour hot pants and some stiletto boots would work?

    I know they’re jackasses because they look I every way like jackasses.

    • Eben looks as though he just wandered in from a key party, circa 1976, or was visiting Papa Chevalier’s salon last week.

    • If i’ve learned anything from my long-term scholarly interest in the Real Housewives franchises, it is this.

        • Cynthia and Peter!

          Can we also count Luann and Tom? It wasn’t a vow renewal, but they didn’t have time to schedule one. Can you believe it girls?

          • What about Tamra’s husband before the guy she started the gym with? I stopped watching all of this back around Miss Advised time, so I’m not keeping up. Oh, but Bethenny is still fighting with her ex, I see. I wonder how Alex and…her equally pretentious hubby are doing? And I always thought Kelly Bensimon and Donkey were cut from the same cloth.

      • RE: Vow renewals or just straight up part of the divorce package. I think half the husbands agree to do RH knowing they plan on divorcing but it gives the wives an income so they take less. I like to refer to that as being Camilled.

    • Echoing the red flag alert. And it would be especially awkward to consciously or unconsciously uncouple when one has presented oneself as a love coach, both on her own and as a couple. Her little girl is absolutely adorable, though, so I hope this vow thing isn’t true to form. Some really cute pix of AL and her little girl together on FB.

  8. Can we talk about what Donk is wearing in those ‘throwback’ selfies she posted? The one on the bottom looks like she’s got some sort of gathered-waist denim skirt on. It looks not unlike the one worn by an elderly librarian of my acquaintance, who pairs it with socks & Birkenstocks and one of those glasses-chains that allow one’s spectacles to constantly perch on one’s bosom. Don’t get me wrong; this lady *works* that look & somehow pulls it off.

    But can someone please explain what she’s wearing in the first fauxto? I honestly can’t figure it out.

      • When she wrote “western clothing,” I kept thinking along the lines of Dale Evans, worrying that Donk might exhume her body so she could wear Dale’s cowgirl getup to the the next Taylor Swift concert.

    • lol@Tingo, took me a while to get it. Because I thought you were talking about some sort of cowboy style.

      In the first pic, I can’t get past the nails (and the face, but there is no need to dwell on that, ha). In the second, I thought those were some “harem” sweatpants, but you may very well be right, Hroswitha.

    • Damn, that’s impressive. Get rid of a Donkey and good things happen!

      New post up re: Mr. Bancroft. Thanks, Greg, for the alert!

    • Didn’t some other character that occasionally gets mentioned / discussed here have the same experience with the same kind of scam? She was at at airport when they called?

      Anyway, yeah, I don’t get returning missed calls from unknown numbers.

      • Jaahass Magic practically gave her SSN to an online scammer. What a pair of maroons!

        Jess Magic

        Feeling rattled.

        Has anyone ever gotten a call from the social security administration saying their number was found attached to drug trafficking and money laundering?
        I just spent 45 min on the phone while at SFO with an “officer” from the Social Security Administration and then an “officer” from the SFPD telling me there had been a warrant out for my arrest. Everything about it felt startling, off, creepy, but it wasn’t until they tried to get me to transfer all my money to Target or Home Depot gift cards that I started realizing I could fuck with them back.

        Fear tactics are not fun. Scams on people that don’t know much about government processes are also not fun. Please gentlemen…I’d like the last 45 minutes of my life back.

        They had waaaay too much information about me to know right away it was a scam and unfortunately I gave them even more. Feeling violated 😔😡

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