Updated: A Reasonable Woman Makes A Reasonable Request

Dr. Dodi’s elegant ex does not want to be associated with A Donkey.

[REDACTED4] is everything that Mulia Mallison will never be: an incredibly successful business woman with a flair for fashion who recently got married in a wedding that couldn’t be topped by a big-budget rom-com. Even the most cynical RBDers were impressed when [REDACTED4] came to our attention via tipsters.

We also came to [REDACTED4]’s attention and she sent us this missive:


I saw you posted a blog post about me yesterday. I woke up to it today on my honeymoon in Africa. It’s true I dated Alex for four years several years ago. We broke up over three years ago and I am now married. We aren’t in contact beyond the occasional text (I received some of his mail, congrats on life events, etc.) I have never met his girlfriend and was also surprised she has liked and commented on my wedding photo. She also has been telling our mutual acquaintances (SF is surprisingly small) that she wants to meet me. It’s not high on my list of priorities.

I have been following this blog since they started dating as a number of my friends had interactions with Julia in her NYC days and thought this would amuse me.

It’s too bad one of Alex’s friends thinks I am vapid and don’t like my amateur flower arrangements. I’m not reaching out to prove who I am as a person, more just to kindly ask that you remove references to my name and Instagram link. I have been working really hard for the last twelve years to establish a career and it would be a real shame if it was impacted by my exboyfriend’s new girlfriend’s decision to pursue online fame. Finance is a tough field for females, and catty rumors on the internet certainly aren’t helpful. Additionally, my husband and I are private individuals who have never been interested in fame of any kind.

I would appreciate your generous assistance in this matter.


No one could argue with a request so eloquently stated. And why would anyone experiencing genuine success and living a full life want to be linked to Julia Allison, the laziest slacker in SF? Thus, [REDACTED4]’s actual name and any links to her name have been removed from RBD and will continue to be redacted.

CAUTION! Do not agree to meet with A Donkey. She is relentless, doesn’t believe in borders, and will try to get her claws into you when your guard is down – just ask Rain Phutureprimitive’s former girlfriends about this horror show.

One suspects our burro will attempt to bond with [REDACTED4] using the “we’re both women profeshionals” line of B.S. It is to laugh! Donkey has never had a real job in her life and has barely worked during the last several years.

Update: [REDACTED4] just sent along a thank you and wished everyone a lovely Labor Day.


  1. Wow, what a GREAT message from REDACTED4, and how incredibly tasteful her request. I hope she understands it would be really BAD for her to establish any contact with A Donkey and nothing positive would be gained by that association.

    Raising a latte to this lovely woman this morning, and wishing her all the best. Looks like she has a great life, and I hope she’s enjoying her honeymoon.

    • Indeed! How could anyone dismiss such a logical, tasteful request?

      I do hope she doesn’t meet with A Donkey simply out of curiosity, which I fully understand, but we all well know how Donkey won’t let go once she’s established contact.

      • REDACTED 4 seems truly put off by a donkey… she also has a real life – busy, full, fascinating. She doesn’t need to rub shoulders with a donk.

        • Who wouldn’t be put off by the creepy stalker behavior of the new gf of an ex from three years ago? Donk is effed up.

    • She seems to be the type of woman that Donkey-doers (well, except for woo DJs, I guess) tend to get together with AFTER they’ve been through the Donkey hell. Dodster must be doing something seriously wrong.

  2. Very considerate, Gilly. Unlike Judy Albertson, who harasses dirtfest DJs and their girlfriends.

    Dodester better get a prenup. Might get rid of his parasite

    • I hope his sister and/or parents read here and stress the importance of that prenup to the good doctor!

  3. She is very un-Donkey-like so good for her.

    Why would you want to meet your boyfriend’s ex? Or stalk her IG? Donk is so weird and immature. I’m glad Red4 has a brain and a life and isn’t going to fall for Donk’s fake career claims.

    • She has low self-esteem and feels she needs to compare herself with them. On one hand so she can try to feel superior (because after all she’s WINNING! She has the BOYFRIEND now! He didn’t want to marry HER!) but on the other hand, she then tries to compete, and we all know where that goes. It ends with turquoise chaps and flinging yourself against the back wall at Red Rocks, and sobbing through arabesques when you deliver a big FAIL.

    • It would be weird no matter what but, especially so in this case since the woman has been broken up with Alex for three years now and is married to someone else. it’s not like there is any threat or that JA needs to piss on her territory.

      What next, tracking down the girl in the 7th grade who asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance?

      • Donk was maniacally contacting ex’s and new girlfriends way back during the Reblogging Julia days. Her behavior towards Rain’s old girlfriends was pathological, especially when she did a tribute dance to them, which Rain and the women allegedly witnessed. My Greg, can you imagine being a fly on the wall for that hilarity? Apparently, Donk did her tribute dance in someone’s living room. Did she attack one of the walls? Run towards the kitchen and run back? Was she wearing Al Pacino’s chaps and nothing else? WOULD THAT SHE BE GOOD ENOUGH!

    • I truly think Judy’s looking for another: “Thith ith succeth!” instagrammable photo because all the world is a Thisterhood.

  4. It’s a testament to the stupidity of other people in Donkey’s orbit that they haven’t kept their cool and made similar polite requests. I imagine most people, other than the most egregious and unrepentant woos, could have been removed if they’d responded with tact.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      Many of them tried to white knight for her, and we all know how that works out

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        To be fair, when R4 was first mentioned here, most of the responses were respectful toward her. Other people in Donk’s orbit have been savaged here (usually accurately and appropriately so) and may not feel like being gracious when requesting to be among the Redacteds

        • Good point. I still feel there have been many cases where some sort of a middle ground between a pleasant polite conversation and raking over the coals could have been reached, though.

  5. Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

    A wise woman who obviously figured out that nobody ever comes out better for having any association with Donk. Reputations, finances, relationships are left in tatters in her wake

  6. As the original Reasonable Woman, I wish to say how much I respect this lovely, elegant, fashionable, hard-working, successful Reasonable Woman. She wrote a tasteful email with a very reasonable request. She has wisely not taken the bait to get together with JA. She is on the honeymoon of a lifetime – a gorgeous island that costs thousands per night to stay on and then off to see gorillas! I must admit, I’m envious of her honeymoon travels! I wish her and her husband all the best. She seems nice, with warm family relationships and friends. Good for her!

  7. I would like to add a wise caution if REDACTED4 is still reading, that Donkey can be disarmingly charming at first impression, if you do happen to meet her. I suspect she will figure a way to engineer a meeting one way or another because we know from her previous behavior and from her posts on you IG pics that she absolutely is desperate to size you up and pick your brain. From reading your note to Gilly I am sure you will know how to handle yourself and that you won’t fall for it.

    • Honeymoon in Africa V. Revisiting dirt where she married herself officiated allegedly by a known pedophile
      If JA unsolicited (aka stalking) liking and commenting on his ex’s wedding pictures isn’t enough to make him run, the amount of insecurity stemming from hotter, naked people at the drugs in the dirt party should have him packing it in fo’sho.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Gotta love the many creative wordsmiths here! Donkey could learn a lesson or 20

  8. Carefully crafted wording. She is just as surprised as we are that a Donkey has not learned boundaries. They have mutual friends who deliberately pointed out this wonderful basement for her amusement. Meeting a Donkey is not high on her priorities. How long until a Donkey and Dadbod argue over his friendly texting?

    Is Julia embarrassed yet? This is so pathetic.

  9. [REDACTED4] sounds thoughtful, articulate, respectful, polite….

    …she is the anti-Donkey!

    What have you done, Dodi?

    • He let this one go and is now squiring a burro around Camp Septic, hanging with the likes of Scammy Katz, Jena la Fraud, and Noodles Moodley. SAD! LOSER!

      • At the moment Noodles not in the desert. She’s selfying her razor shaped coiffed eye brows because she is so body positive.

        No Vowels, on the other hand,….. Maybe a pigeon 2 and a blended family in the future. Bless

        • Noodles is so WOKE! I wonder how Noah No Vowels will feel about living with several other folks in their treetop getaway, that is, if he hasn’t flown the coop already.

          • She is so tedious. Her carbon footprint is huge from all her jetting all over creation with her “sisters” on exotic retreats. She needs to STFU and sit down and stop this smug virtue signaling.

          • I believe he’s disappeared. just as Hee Haw Honey Rebecca Jean Alonzi’s hubby has disappeared from her FB pages.

          • “Also, I haven’t had this (uncomfortable) conversation with our families yet, but I don’t want Raven to be given anything *new* for his birthday or Christmas. Used/re-gifted/handmade items only. (Wish me luck with those convos!!)”

            I live in Marin County, not far from this woo nut-job with a shit-ton of woo nut-jobs spread in-between. I have a lot of kids and they are invited to many birthday parties. I would estimate that 30% of those invitations arrive with similar directives for properly virtue signaled birthday gift giving.

            Some invitations even request “no gifts” and we’re talking about kids who are Raven’s age. Only a sick fuck of a parent tells a preschooler that he can’t receive gifts on his birthday. The little ones are so intently focused on their birthdays during those years and yes, they want gifts. For little kids, birthdays mean parties and gifts, not an opportunity for mama to network with other awful people.

            Fuck you. I’m not going to make your kid a wooden woo gift by hand. I’m heading to Target to buy your kid an appropriately sized NERF gun.

            I’ve gotten away with it thus far.

          • Wolf–No Vowels was last in her IG in a photo taken in Mexico in May. She doesn’t seem to talk about him much any more, but maybe that’s his request. The crowd sourcing for babysitters and halfhearted anti-materialism posts read like she’s poor and pissed about it.

          • I agree with with SJS about her being pissed at having to curtail her lifestyle. She used to post on FB about having a nanny, and now she’s trolling for freebies. Now it sounds like they may be having trouble affording Mill Valley if she’s talking about shared living. There definitely seems to be some seething under the surface that Necker Island getaways are a distant memory.

      • I’m trying to get a friend who BMs every year to go poke his head into Camp Cystic, but to no avail. The possibility of desperate middle-aged grifty fame whores didn’t entice. Well, fuck.

        On the other hand: at least one of the Woos will present a large portfolio of fauxtos, some of which WILL feature Marson in a tutu, or I’ll eat my running socks.

          • And she never let him forget it, chiming in to a post long after they broke up that SHE was the one who gifted him the Tigger onesie. It was pathetic. Just like when Rain posted a picture of himself on his fan site and she had to tell everyone that she took the picture.

          • It wasn’t on his fansite, and Judy pissed all over her former territory on both the profile pic and the cover pic. That cover pic is still up but Judy’s comment has been removed. What a loon!

          • But maybe she got it back when they broke up.

            Or she got a dozen of them from Target.

            They are from Target, right?

          • Thanks for the reminder! I just pulled an image from their IG page to use in an upcoming post.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)


            Sounds like lots of fun!

            In this sort of climate, it is perhaps understandable that the Orgy Dome instituted new procedures. Would-be visitors must wait in line to be ushered into an anteroom, where they are subjected to a personalized lecture with a counselor who earnestly explains consent ABCs.

            Even “touching, and watching intently require consent,” an Orgy Dome administrator explained on Reddit, though “admittedly there’s a somewhat arbitrary and difficult to define line there.”


            “It’s like the DMV: You get a number, then you talk to one guy and take a test on the rules, then you wait some more.” Some commenters said they visited the dome mostly for naps in the air conditioning.

    • It’s possible to want to limit gifts and not be a sick fuck. We aren’t very woo but asked for no gifts at our daughter’s birthday party. We live in a generally low income area in Canada (no woo rich tech people around, jobs like health care and teaching are the best jobs here). We didn’t want anyone to avoid coming because of gifts, she has more than most of her friends already. Also, she gets a lot of gifts at her family celebration and has a whole play area of toys already… I don’t want to deprive her but I do want to teach her we don’t need endless stuff. When we get gifts we are still thankful but I do ask my parents to give less because they will bring one toy per visit, which is weekly.

      I think so many “woo-woo” people are hypocritical about their consumption but it’s not always bad to want less stuff.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        What you’re doing is the total opposite of these woo-holes. You’re trying to make other people feel good, while the woo-holes are trying to feel good about themselves

      • Hear! Hear! My kid is very sociable in a Marcia Brady sort of way and there are a lot of birthday parties and they can tend to get very expensive. Plus, and this is way different from when I was a kid, the parents throwing the birthday party for their kid are now expected to gift the other kids with kiddie swag bags upon their departure. It’s all become very competitive among parents, like a bad episode of Desperate Housewives.

  10. Gilly, is it possible that Alex’s “friend” who wrote to you was actually Julia? It seems odd that someone wrote to you to diss JA but mostly dissed REDACTED4 & right in the time leading up to her wedding. Which JA clearly knew about thanks to her Insta-stalking R4. And knew about floral arranging which isn’t too far back in her Insta feed.

    Just wondering if we perhaps took the bait by accident…and this was just JA trying to make R4 seem awful when in reality R4 seems successful & well liked & perhaps even Dodi’s one that got away.

    • No, no, I don’t think so. This tipster said nothing nice about Julia, and no way could Donkey have pulled that off just to say something denigrating about Dodi’s ex.

      • I’m not sure. Getting a negative post up about R4 does then give JA a reason to contact R4 to apologize/commiserate/offer help if some sort (And she clearly wants to connect with her). It also lets her say to Dodi what haters we all are (except that didn’t work) and perhaps she then tries to get him to connect them. I could be off base but she certainly has a history of leaking…

        Whoever it was, it was written by a woman. No dude would be that focused on, or even notice, the psychological dramas of female friendships or the flower arranging part.

        Plus the timing of this around her wedding comes off as vengeful, angry, just mean.

          • Gilly can verify, but I don’t think that poster’s location was anywhere near Donk’s.

          • Yep, tipster nowhere near Donk and our burro was either at or just getting ready to leave for Burning Man, the sole reason for her existence, when these emails arrived.

          • It is an interesting theory, but locations aside, I can’t imagine Donk’s numbskull thinking that far ahead, not even in this warped way.

  11. I wonder if it was REDACTED4’s upcoming Vogue-spread-level nuptials that Donkey will never, ever be able to compete with that drove her into taking that $6k woo therapy week for her low self esteem?

    • I’d love to know who PAID for that folly. If Dodi was dumb enough to shell out the $$$, he deserves everything about to come his way.

      • Also the new motivation for jobbing (aka bothering friends to help her for free while pretending she’s working on an exciting new project). I suspect part of what he liked about [Redacted 4] is that she could support herself. A source for pridefully bragging about his significant other–he need not worry about this time ’round.

        • Maybe she was too much of a match for him intellectually. Some men have egos and prefer marrying someone who is there intellectual inferior. The kind who will stay at home and buy throw pillows, arrange books by color and not ask too many questions.

    • This is one of my favorite things about Judy, the way it absolutely DOES HER IN that someone else, typically a feminine, has nice things. She acts as if that knowledge is physically painful to her. I don’t think I ever met anyone half as consumed with (idiotic) envy as she is, and IMO it’s one of her chief characteristics.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        Someone like that married into my family years ago, and has literally destroyed certain aspects of my life. She sees life as a zero sum game and tries to undermine everything good that happens to me

      • NGMB raised her to believe someday her rich prince would come, give her everything, and put her on a pedestal. Reality hits her in the face like a day-old trout, and the cognitive dissonance is off the charts.

  12. Oh, honey…

    Maybe go ahead and get a restraining order drafted, just in case. Especially if you get home and find your bathroom seems a bit steamy… Kiddding! Mostly. But, not for nothing, she is aka a wannabe bunny boiler by her actions wrt some past and present GFs, as has been long-documented here.

    Don’t give her another thought, but don’t give her an inch, either.

  13. “She also has been telling our mutual acquaintances (SF is surprisingly small) that she wants to meet me. It’s not high on my list of priorities.” Dead. Sold.
    Welcome to the basement [Redacted 4]

  14. REDACTED4 should learn to recognize the delicate timbre of Donkey’s braying laugh, that way she can exit stage left at an event and not have to run into her.


  15. This was in our inbox. So, Donk & Dodi ARE getting married at NYPL! winky emoticon

    Urgent Action Required – Nycitylib update
    Aug 30 at 3:13 PM

    Kathleen Fox
    To: gillyblakejourno@yahoo.com

    Hey Team,

    First off, thank you for mentioning “New York Library Guide” on your website:


    Anyway, I’m reaching out to you because we’ve recently updated our
    informational guide website. And we’re just wondering if it would be
    possible for you to include a link to our site as well, in case your
    readers want to know more about what we do and the newest information
    about guide to New York Libraries.


      • Something stinks in Donkmark…

        I don’t think anyone here would be surprised if we found out that Donkers Without Borders OR Boarders sent that email that conveniently links to a 5 1/2-year-old post featuring her in an Oscar de la Renta gown, especially since there has been recent talk here about how tastefully someone in particular dresses.

        Greg o’mighty…

  16. “I have never met his girlfriend and was also surprised she has liked and commented on my wedding photo. She also has been telling our mutual acquaintances (SF is surprisingly small) that she wants to meet me. It’s not high on my list of priorities.”

    I am DYING.

    • “It is not high on my list of priorities.”

      Reasonable Redacted Woman has performed the world’s first prophylactic sisterectomy and I am 100% here for it!

      • That was a very classy way to say “I don’t want to touch that crazy Donkey with 10-ft pole”.

        Well done, [R4]!

    • Oh! And “I have been following this blog since they started dating as a number of my friends had interactions with Julia in her NYC days and thought this would amuse me..”

      Donkey! You can run across the country, but you can’t hide!

      • (“Hey, R4, [said the friend,] look at the famewhore narcissist nutjob your ex has managed to hook up with now! He’s really in for it!”)

      • I love that folks from her NYC days, when she had contacts who actually mattered, are still reading this blog.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          She made quite the impression back then…

    • As I read the “latest developments in sexting,” all I could think of was Smellsberg, though looking at a dick pic might be better than having to look at his face. OUCH!

  17. OT but adjacent: I love the HGTV show, House Hunters International because the House Hunters are equal parts smug and delusional. And since I had my pupils dilated yesterday afternoon, I settled into my darkened family room and, great luck, it was on!

    The episode was about a woman in her mid thirties, who had recently been broken up with (which caused her some sort of crisis (lots of video of her wearing flowy dresses and prayer hands) and then the magazine she wrote for closed down (has any media outlet actually closed down in order to get rid of Donkey?) so she decided to buy a home in Bali. Of course! Lots of talk about her spiritual journey, video of her driving through LA (not spiritual AT ALL and traffic! Yuck!) before we meet the person accompanying her on the house buying journey, her Daddy!

    Daddy is stern and wealthy, acting like he is not paying for the entire house, but the two of them can barely keep from laughing when he says that. And the daughter can also barely keep from laughing as she ignores every bit of his advice and eventually makes the stupidest and least believable (Donkey) choice imaginable. If this is the type of person who moves to Bali, it is completely understandable why Julia felt so comfortable there. I don’t know how to find it streaming, but it is a particularly funny episode.

    • Is that a reality show / documentary series, or a work of fiction? (Sorry bout the stupid question.) Either way it sounds fun. And while I’ve never been to Bali, a friend who visited last month confirmed that it is indeed full of these unfortunately types, and she reckoned that in Ubud there are more Americans than locals.

        • Helena, you should try to find it. The international version is particularly wonderful because the people always want to live in the center of the action until they discover that they can’t get a large suburban house in central London for $700/month. Also, lots of smug talk about how their children will grow up as citizens of the world before renting/buying the place in the gated ex-pat community.

      • House Hunters is a show where people look for a house in a specific area for a specific budget, and are given three choices. They pick one, and they always seem to get it, and for a better price.

        It’s been proven to be highly scripted and unrealistic, but I think it is fun to watch, because I love looking at real estate, and some of the international locales are super interesting.

        • My friend knows someone that was on it, and they have always already purchased the home they want… before, walking through it, on TV for the “first time.”

          I had another friend who was on one of the American redesign-your-house shows, and they painted on water damage and “wrecked” it to make the house look like a bigger challenge to fix – they also bought in a ton of art and Homegoods stuff for the reveal and then carted it all back out of the house to return it, lol.

  18. OT: Saw “Once Upon a Time” last night, loved it, and would also compare it to “Jackie Brown” even though that remains a Tarantino favorite for me. The two main guys were wonderful, and so was Al Pacino, even in the limited screen time he had. I also really liked it visually, and of course the ending was magnificent (closed my eyes to avoid the gorey shots, but that was of course expected). I spent most of the movie in fear that in the end it will stop being fun and we’ll see the horribleness, so the finale was a truly pleasant surprise, and Gilly was absolutely right when she said the less you know prior to seeing the movie, the better.

    To a certain degree, of course. I know I missed a lot because I never heard of most of the refrerenced movies / shows / people, and I was still in a better position than the girl that a friend overheard saying “why was the blonde chick even in it, she had nothing to do with the story.” I’m afraid this might really harm the movie with a big part of non-American audience (like anyone cares what non-Americans think, bah), because Sharon Tate and Charles Manson are just not THAT well known internationally.

    • I liked it but with strong reservations. The Sharon Tate character is horribly written and I got tired of Tarnatino’s obscure references stopping the narrative. Also, what’s up with the foot fetish? Favorite moment: night falls in Los Angeles and the lights go on.

      Back to Agatha Christie, did you or Frequent Liar Miles read the Laura Thomson bio? I checked it out about 18 months ago, found the prose somewhat Edwardian and thought she let Christie slide re: disappearance, but I did appreciate Thomson’s thoughtfulness re: Christie’s literary output. She wrote much about the six Westmacott books, particularly Absent in the Spring. I’m going to see if I can find a copy.

      • I know the book exists and I think I have a pretty solid idea of what it says about the disappearance, but I haven’t read it. ACKSHULLY I am now translating another AC biography, the one by Janet Morgan. It’s special in that it was authorized by the family (namely Agatha’s daughter) and the author was given exclusive access to lots of correspondence, journals, diaries and other family papers. I have certain issues with the book (that probably come mostly from the translator’s perspective so I won’t bore anyone here with them), but overall I think it’s good and I can recommend it to anyone interested in AC. And there are two detailed chapters about the disappearance that present an explanation I could get behind.

        • Dude! You are translating? I am in awe. Translating is so hard!

          Speaking of translating, I want to recommend the book Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead, by Olga Tokarczuk. So wonderful. One of the plot points is the narrator and her friend translating the poems of William Blake into Polish, but it is really a mystery novel. Kind of.

        • Helena — I’d started reading the book RAGE by Zygmunt Miloszewski based on a review about the translator and how skillful he is (didn’t finish it once I found out it was number three of a trilogy; I need to get the other books 1st) — I’m in awe of the translation process, ability to remain true to what an author meant to convey in his/her voice wrt word choices, nuances specific to a language, etc. — I don’t know how you do it (pretty sure I miss plenty in my native language as is).

        • Haha, thank you both, but there are lots and lots of (Bach) really shitty translators around (and Bach, lots and lots of Bach), so simply being a translator doesn’t automatically mean you’re any good. There’s a wonderful website about shitty translations, full of balls-to-the-wall translation snark that you would LOVE, but sadly it’s not in English. There’s also an annual “anti-award” for the worst book translation published here in the past year that regularly brings much hater happiness. And ever since I’ve published my first book translation, I have nightmares about being nominated.

          This book by Janet Morgan is the biggest I’ve ever done, not only (probably) by volume but also because the language is more difficult that, say, a young adult novel full of fast dialogue, and also because there are so many quotations, references, cross-references etc. that need to be checked and often explained to the local reader. So I was pretty intimidated when the translation was offered to me, not least because it’s the kind of book that is bound to get noticed much more than any of those I have done before, but then I figured it’s also a great opportunity that I would regret missing. So if I don’t screw it up, it could help my “career” (“as it were”), but then again if I do, I could win the anti-award and would then have to immigrate to Ubud or something.

          I haven’t read the Tokarczuk book but I know it exists, and Agnieszka Holland directed a Polish-Czech movie based on it couple of years ago. I didn’t know about the Blake theme and that IS relevant to my interests, so thanks for the rec.

        • Ha ha ha!! I flashed on some of these moments when watching Margot Robbie and Margaret Qualley’s dirty, smelly feet.

      • I have the Laura Thompson book checked out from the library and I haven’t been able to get into it. I just don’t find her a very good writer.

        • I get it. Her prose is dry and there are occasional eyebrow-raising moments re: class and entitlement.

    • Regardless of who she is, or aspires to be, I think the main reason the average RBDer liked R4 is because she never tried to defend the Donkey and call us names, or tell us she knows the real, wonderful Julia, unlike us.

      In a very polite way she just said ”In don’t want to be associated with that stinky Donkey any more than you do”, and who could say no to that?

  19. That was a nice email and I’m glad her name and identity are now redacted, but can’t get on the bandwagon of how amazing and tasteful and elegant this chick is. She’s a basic white lady who spent 12 years “building a career” in a field the sole function of which is making money, and has an Instagram dedicated to making herself appear as rich and attractive as possible. No thx.

    Say of dr dodi what you will, but the guy got an MD from Harvard and then dedicated his life to researching disease (compare w opening a private practice in, eg, plastic surgery, running an UES office that accepts no insurance — a common alternative for similarly situated people).

      • Mostly. Interestingly, on the Camp Septic roster where they list names and sponsors etc is a new to me pic of Donk goddess and while every other person she sponsored has the name Julia Allison and or Julia Allison/Rainbow the sponsor of Dodi (not his playa name) is listed only as Rainbow. Hhhhmmmm, harbinger of the ancient donkamer???

    • “… and has an Instagram dedicated to making herself appear as rich and attractive as possible.” – I do agree with this. Dad bod has a type and that type does like to, “Awww, meeeee” to the camera.

      • You said it. My sister’s getting married, and I had to tell her about R4’s wedding albums. I’ve never seen anything like it outside a glossy magazine. And she made her own money. She didn’t sleep her way into it. I have respect for her and a little awe. If she doesn’t garner some modicum of admiration for how she handled turning up here, contacting Gilly, writing in complete sentences, her lovely phrasing and general taste, then I’m afraid we may be uninspirable after all. We’re a tough crowd, but I think we know grace and taste when we see it. If anything because she is so gregdamn antidonkey. I don’t think we could’ve invented a stronger Donk antidote if we tried.

        • I felt like her wedding says quite a lot about her embracing her husband’s culture and furthermore, her guests will be talking about it for ages — not things I’d envision Donkers being willing or able to undertake and facilitate.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            If Donks ever has a wedding (and I’m willing to bet cash against that happening), it’ll be something guests talk about for YEARS afterward. Just not for the same reasons…

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            It’s fine either way 😉

    • I think I’m with you at least to some extent. Based on her email, she does sound nice and reasonable and intelligent, and if nothing else, those qualities put her light years above Judy, so I certainly give her credit for that (and a head shake with a side of facepalm to Dodster). But I only saw four or five pictures of her IG, none of which were from her wedding, I believe; weddings generally bore me to death, no matter how done (if I’m ever worried I might be a bit like Judy, and there are moments I am, this is one of the reassuring points that tells me I’m NOT), so there’s really no way to impress me with a wedding. I admit that is my personal thing that doesn’t mean weddings can’t be impressive. But regardless of the wedding, the whole “carefully curated IG” thing is a turnoff for me. I’ll never be too impressed by anyone who spends a lot of time and effort “sharing” with the internet how wonderful they are.

      • Same.
        I know people like this and every single one of them are nice enough but frickin neurotic.

        I don’t wish anything bad for R4 at all, in fact I wish her a good life but you don’t have an insta account like that and claim you don’t want attention and fame. That’s the only part that screams b.s.

        • As draconian Oprah used to say, it’s the but that I love.

          You’re referring to the IG account she made private, yes?

      • Helena, her wedding albums I saw were on Facebook and were still up when I checked. I never saw her IG. I don’t do IG, too much braggadocio and too little actual interaction.

        But, even her wedding was an anti-wedding. No puffy white dress and hyper focus on a self-centered social media millennial twit. Instead deep jewel colors. Candlelight. One long table for guests with a dinner party feel. It felt more like a journey through an award-winning cinematographers portfolio than a wedding album. It centered on guest enjoyment and spending time in beautiful surroundings together. Culture over consumerism. None of this couple’s wedding website with honeymoon fund solicitation and destination event schedule with “by invitation only” on some events I’ve seen lately that leaves such a gross taste in one’s mouth because of the underlying theme of “we’re so special, you’re lucky to be here”. Yuck. No, thank you.

        It wasn’t the expense that was impressive it was the beauty of someone who could afford to do it still making the event about family and friends and not all “look at me”. Someone spending money to bring beauty to those closest to her as they celebrated together not celebrated her. That’s lovely, generous and rare among the wealthy I know. A hedgefund manager’s kid I used to nanny for got married yesterday. It was all about them, their wealth and exclusivity. The way they deign to let you fawn over their excess.

        We had our vowel renewal during December on a 400 acre estate in with Great Gatsby mansion, where our guests spent the weekend. It was such an incredible experience because unlike our wedding, we invited only people we loved and designed the weekend around making it an unforgettable experience for them. The vowel renewal was secondary to guest experience and comfort. We invited people in our lives who had recently experienced heartbreak and tragedy and needed a weekend away as much as we did. Our photographer spent time taking group, holiday and guests’ children’s photos on the estate which we sent them afterward. R4’s wedding was the Moroccan version of what I tried to do for our closest friends and loved ones but on a big studio budget. Yet without losing the intimacy. I think she’s actually wasted on finance. She has a unique eye and perspective that I found captivating. I just loved her romantic photos with no one in them. They were stages in which you could imagine yourself and friends, the conversations had, the way the wine and evening sun made you feel, like the Lord of the Rings redwoods wedding Sean Parker had but in the desert and without the try-hard feel of excess.

        I believe her when she says she and her husband are private people. Because anyone else would’ve had those photos published and likely been paid well for them.

        • I respect your judgment and trust your taste. So I can believe it was a beautiful and generous event and not an aw-me (or aw-us) fest.

          Again, I fully admit my bias against anything, and I mean literally anything, that anyone posts about themselves on any sort of social media. My apparently pathological opinion is that people can and should keep personal information (with pictures!) to themselves and people they know. I can also admit that my default stance that everyone, including some of my dear friends, who posts about themselves (with pictures!) is at least a latent asshole may OCCASIONALLY be incorrect.

          (I’m sure there’s no need to say that, but the last part is tongue in cheek. I’m just the type of person who could not be paid to use “social media” other than RBD, so obviously my perspective, uh, deviates from the norm somewhat.)

          Other than this, I have nothing against R4 whatsoever (it’s not like I really KNOW anything about her aside from what her email, which I like, says), and I wish her well.

          • JFA just to add that obviously, my own (strange?) definition of a private person is NOT someone who has social media set to private. It’s someone who doesn’t use social media. And I don’t even consider myself somehow incredibly private. After all, I know a guy in California who doesn’t even use a cellphone. That said, though, I don’t hate people for not meeting my definition of “private.” 🙂

          • Your life sounds amazing and full with actual personal interactions with friends in lieu of pseudocontact with cyber folks. I strive for it. Need and want more of it and tried to ditch my one social media account for years. We just don’t have enough friends living close by, given all the moving over the years, for me not to feel lonely without some cybercontact. But, I hear you and wish my life was fuller off screen to need none on screen. I guess that’s why I liked her albums. It felt like an escape and some joy knowing there are others who live like that.

          • Well, you and I know the truth of the matter is that I spend my days being obese and sad in my stepdad’s basement….

            And 1) I have quite a few friends and relatives living very far, some of them on different continents, whom I sometimes miss; we keep in touch mostly through email, but I understand that’s not for everyone; 2) when you mentioned lots of moving around, I was reminded of certain undeniable differences between the US being a HUGE country (and Americans moving around a lot more often than is the custom here) and the tiny landlocked country and fairly compact city where I’ve lived practically my whole life (unlike Judy the Digital Nomad). So, my point is there’s no need to see my particular sad, jealous, sort of angry basement situation as anything to strive for. Although my ceramic cats do love me, I’ll give you that.

    • Hmmmm, I’m giving [Redacted4] a full pass. I don’t know the woman, but she seems like a fine member of society.

      1.) She admits she reads here (that’s more than any woo WHO NEVER READS HERE EVER).
      2.) She was extremely polite, extremely reasonable.
      3.) Built a great career over 12 years. Much respect.
      4.) Used hard-earned results of said career on a beautiful wedding (you can’t knock someone for working hard and spending the money how they choose).
      5.) She said she and her husband don’t want fame….and when it became apparent this site was making her more famous than she realized, she put her Instagram on private mode. Her words match her action.

      She’s literally the Anti-Donkey.

      • Also want to add that from what I read and saw before she shut down her social media, she was involved in promoting and possibly the financing of some responsible companies, including some related to curing diseases like Alzheimer’s. In her social media posts of friend and charity events I saw that included her picture, she wasn’t pretentiously posing like A Donkey or pointedly calling attention to herself.

  20. You guys I missed seeing REDACTED4’s name/insta before it was redacted. I’d love to see how inadequate a donkey is by comparison. Might a cat lady give me some search terms to use to find her?

    • She travels the world and has a very curated insta page… I’m sure it’s making a donkey RAGE… in fact, I’m bummed it’s private and can’t be accessed by a jealous, inadequate burro.

      • I’m sure it is still accessible to exes, and anyone who is “curating” the exes’ social media.

        • Ha! This is both true and truly frightening. If my boyfriend was using my insta to track my exes, I would freak the f out… I’d be scared of them. Tho, this is the donkey that plied Yack McCain with booze so he’d pass out and she could search his phone… so…

        • Also, I’ve been serious with some guys, and I might have heard exes names, but I never know their last names and honest to Greg, have never done a deep social dive on them, so I could soothe myself. NEVER MIND MESSAGING THEM OR COMMENTING ON THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA.

          • What I think is bizarre about the way she approaches this “I have to be friends with all my exes’ past and future girlfriends” is that she never considers that they probably don’t give a crap to want to know her. Yet her past actions have shown us that she tries to force it, until someone gets the guts enough to tell her to stop. On some of her old videos she’s come out and said that she wants everyone to like her, but breaching their personal boundaries is probably the last way to make that happen.

            Remember on Miss Advised when the ‘stalking Jack McCain’ thing came up, she was in denial that this was what she was doing. And then she kind of dismissed it by saying “stalking is an ugly word,” which is such a weird way of looking at it. She compartmentalized the word instead of addressing her behavior and how others perceive it.

            There are variations on this theme, too. Remember how she discussed keeping lists of personal details about everybody she meets, how she forced that 5k run on her family, how she insisted the nonsociety sisters all declare New Year’s Eve resolutions, how she scripted her birthday by making everyone dress in onesies and sing from a songbook. She’s got this twisted way of thinking that everybody has to conform to her way of relating despite the fact that it crosses interpersonal boundaries. She doesn’t stop to think that someone else might not want this. And she thinks she’s doing something nice when actually she’s just begging for their attention and approval. She does it over and over and over.

          • So well put. And it’s also a testament (one of many) to her craziness because becoming friends with all the past and future girlfriends of all your “exes” is, for obvious reasons, pretty much impossible even for people who are generally well liked, let alone, well, someone like Judy. Then again, sane people not only see it’s not possible, they also have no desire to make it happen.

            It just occurred to me that all this arm twisting so that everyone wears onesies and writes New Year’s Eve resolutions and the whole plane sings Jingle Bells might be what she mistakenly believes tp prove her “perfectionism.” Because she sure as shit doesn’t exhibit anything approaching perfectionism in work (hahah, I crack myself up), hobbies, housekeeping, personal grooming or any other area. But it’s the mean passengers unwilling to conform to her vapid romcom Christmas travel fantasy who need to be more focused on “perfection!”

          • So very true about what she claims is perfectionism but actually isn’t.There are so many instances and patterns of her behavior that bear this out. Look at how many breakups where she’s declared, “And we are still best friends! In fact we are still in love!” When of course this is only what she wants to believe, and wants others to believe, and this is her way of keeping them on the hook for attention to her on birthdays, etc. I can only imagine what kind of nightmare ex-wife she’d be, especially if there are children involved.

            I have followed this whole thing with her because I am fascinated with abnormal psychology and how fame and the pursuit of fame screws people up. She would be an interesting case for some actual mental health pro to figure out the real roots of her pathology. There’s some underlying reason why she tries so hard to control how other people see her to conform with some warped idealistic view she has for herself.

          • When Donkers relayed forcing an entire plane full of passengers to a sing-along, I could actually picture myself being taken off a plane by US Air Marshals for bodily harm on a farm animule.

            Ahhh, the Nehi days and Air bray-&-bray fraud, back when Donkers was WITH boarders… that has been a quiet sisterectomy, eh? Once again, Dad$er to the rescue.

  21. So there was another suicide at Burning Man – young Kiwi fellow found dead of carbon monoxide poisoning in his car.

    I’m posting this not to upset catladies but as a PSA to the Woos who definitely don’t read here – the posturing you do to promote your fucking grifts is downright evil. People seeking lifestyle alternatives are sucked in, not supported if things don’t go right for them, and god forbid any vulnerable person should need any real help. You shallow cunts roll your eyes up to “The Universe”, make finger heart shapes, and turn your backs on them.

    The “community” you love to market, to make money for your endless exotic vacations and fancy houses, DOES NOT EXIST. You are selfish, disgusting narcissists who accept people into your cult, for as long as they act nice and worship you.

    I don’t know this Shane Billingham or his circumstances at all, but I’ve seen how this stuff plays out with good people I know in real life who invest financially and emotionally into your soulless greedy bullshit, and get spat out when they need real advice and support. Fuck you all, you hideous parasites. I hope you ALL experience dire consequences from your choices, get shunned as soon as you stumble, and finally get to feel the “true karmic energy of the Universe”.

  22. OT: An RBDer sent along this one-minute clip. Julia Price must be at least 15 years older than the other insufferable “influencers.” WTF is a Cole Hersch? The future looks grim.

    • So they picked her based on the number of followers she had? You mean, the number of fake fans in the ‘stans Donkey taught her how to buy ten years ago?

    • I think if your deepest personality trait is needing people to look at you, you don’t grow out of it without a lot of professional help.

      • I agree, and sadly what I see people cultivating in their own children these days when encouraging them to pose for endless “candid “ fauxtos for Fecebook and InstaHam.

  23. Happy “Julia Allison Does No Labor” Day! Here’s to grifting free stuff by pretending you’re somebody; living off other people who actually work; and exploiting women by calling them interns for your vanity blog and not paying them!


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