We’re back, bunnies! Our host asked us to upgrade three site elements involving both production and staging that were not initially compatible with our theme. But much tinkering was done and we’re ok … for now.
Re: the previous post, a name has been redacted – yes, there is now a [REDACTED4], which will all be explained in the next RBD post.
But for now, ponder Christopher Life’s incredible vulnerability! (Jesus H. Christ, can the woos pick a new word?)
I am challenged to let more vulnerability in. It’s hard. True vulnerability cuts so deep into who we think we are that it’s unbearable – because in many ways it literally is. The person that existed before the episode of vulnerability can not bare it and seems to not exist in the same way on the other side.
I still want to fight vulnerability kicking and screaming often. I do my best to let it all in. I weep often – but resist often as well – when I really feel like I have something to protect.
In vulnerability I fear annihilation, and despite years of cultivating death-acceptance practices – I’m still afraid daily.
I pray for the courage to get into deeper, truer vulnerability, faster in any given situation. In saying this my stomach churns with unease.
Intimacy and vulnerability lay at the core of everything I’m saying yes to and the quality of what we create will certainly be proportional to our earnest devotion of living into our ideals.
Allowing ourselves to die, together we rise.
Christopher/Cory’s stomach is churning with unease? I told him and Adelle/Sophia not to eat at Taco Bell! Thankfully, a couple of Tums should settle that stomach, as well as ease Christopher’s feelings of deeper, truer vulnerability. Two problems solved! That’ll be $1499.99, but we’ll take $200 off if Christopher pays before 5 p.m. today.
I’m currently reading Tom O’Neill’s mammoth, compelling “Chaos,” about Charles Manson’s lost year in San Francisco, when The Family was created. Cory’s final sentence above is very similar to convicted killer Susan Atkins’s mantra about letting oneself die in order to be reborn – I’m too busy to look up her exact words. In fact, there are entire passages in O’Neill’s book that read as though he were writing about Julia Allison’s “tribe” and not the murderous Manson followers.