Dodi’s Friends Are Sad But Amused Re: His Romance With A Lazy Donkey

We get mail. Lots of mail. And we listen to lots of Bach when reading that mail.

We’ve heard from folks who have known the good doctor for decades. They love the guy and can’t do anything but sigh over his terrible taste in women. Dodi allegedly once dated a woman of quality, now an award-winning poet and Oxford don! But this was 20 years ago and the relationship, which lasted several months, ended horribly. It’s been downhill ever since.

In the 10 years following the lone woman of quality, Dodi allegedly slept around and concentrated on his career. Then he met [REDACTED4]. She works in finance, makes a boatload of money, and, according to one source, is as shallow as they come. It’s all surface – expensive travel, haute couture, flower arranging as high art. [REDACTED4] absolutely LOVES having friends who are jealous of her success, an attitude that didn’t bother Dodi in the least. (Sound familiar? Not the money earning, of course.)

Dodi’s pals thought he couldn’t possibly hook up with anyone worse than [REDACTED4] … and then came Donk. She’s “[REDACTED4] without the work ethic or smarts,” easily making her the worst of Dodi’s three loves. But his friends are resigned to the “inevitable marriage” and “wouldn’t miss the wedding for the world.”

105 COMMENTS

  1. But why would Captain Dadbod even marry, honestly? There’s way more bad vaginas to be pounding than rapidly drain swirling psycho Donkey Baugher.

    That donkey in the gif is precious, I loves him/her so much.

    • He apparently likes women who give off an air of entitlement, and Donk attempts to do so in whatever persona she’s inhabiting at the moment. I’ve always found her airs to be sooo phony, transparent, comical. I guess there’s no accounting for taste, of which Dodi has little or none.

      • Such an odd thing to be attracted to… especially when a donkey doesn’t have a job or monkey to back up her entitlement!

        • I once worked with a guy who was attracted to “Jappy” women and the more stereotypically b*tchy and high-maintenance, Princessy and whiny they were, the more he would go for them. He actually would go around telling people that was his type, and if they knew any women like that to set him up with them. Last I heard he was still single.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Could he afford them? Or was he maybe hoping to hitch a ride on the Dad$er Express that was supporting the women? (Because the true JAP types don’t earn it for themselves, it’s all from the parents or grandparents.)

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        Have any of his friends said why he’d marry *her*? He had a better woman who wanted to marry and he said “nah,” but how he’d marry this busted Donkey?

    • No, I don’t know what happened there but could probably find out. Also, WHEN did they break up?

        • Or maybe Dodi listened over the phone when Donk pumped [REDACTED4] for info? After which, Donk did an interpretive dance celebrating the Oxford don and the world’s greatest flower arranger.

          • They broke up in June 2016 because he didn’t want to marry her.

            I know both of them and I think you people need to mind your own business. Why are you doing this?

          • This is a reblogging site devoted to the public figure and media joke known as Julia Allison. If she were dating the corpse of Christian Barnard, that would be news too. All things considered, we’re pretty positive re: Dodi.

          • Note: AXZ is the troll who keeps commenting, calling people psychos because they gossip, which is weird since it’s human nature to gossip and not a pathology.

          • Lol “mind your own business”

            Proceeds to share private information about shit that’s not his/her business.

            Take a seat and shut the fuck up.

          • “June 2016“ is pretty specific for a casual observer…

            But for a spreadsheet-keeping donkey, not so much.

      • Why is AXZ giving us the info we were curious about [i]whilst[/i] yelling at us for being curious about these weirdos?

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Diversion. If you get the answer you’re seeking, you’re less likely to keep digging around and maybe finding out something juicy

          • So I shouldn’t then inquire anything from the friend who wrote, “Ask me whatever you want”? winky emoticon

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Oh, my! What to do?
            (I’m assuming AXZ is not the friend who invited you to ask away?)

          • No, no. AXZ is a troll whose other comments I deleted, though a few RBDers saw them. Dodi’s real friends seem to be taking Donk and our interest in their romance far less seriously than does our troll.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Ah! Thanks for clarifying. I thought maybe the troll was playing multiple sides?

  2. @Auntie Gilly: You’ve always had a flair for image selection, but the top and BOTTOM photos on this post are among your finest work.

      • Accounts like this make me cringe so hard. I see people like them on vacation trying forever to get the right picture of themselves and it’s such a fucking ridiculous spectacle of preening and coaching fakery. It takes a lot of yelling at each other to look that happy for the ‘gram.

        #vomit

        • On my recent vacation I watched a couple of cute young women shouting directions at each other in a the pool for literally two hours while they tried to get just exactly the right photos to represent the time they spent enjoying the pool during their vacation. Then they promptly climbed out of the pool to take photos elsewhere.

          We were in a beautiful place and they didn’t even notice except as a backdrop for their photos.

        • Indeed! But Donk ALWAYS ends up looking like a Midwestern hick no matter how hard she tries to look cosmopolitan.

    • Hayes Valley… “necklace gifted from boyfriend.” Ooooh, BURN, Donkey! Get yourself a necklace from Dodi ASAP.

      She has some Donkey-ish traits– bow in dirty hair, bows on shoes, babydoll dress on grown woman– but at least she’s a million levels above Donk’s polyester Yandy crap.

      • Also apparently works. Before I discovered Judy, I never realized I actually owe at least an ounce of respect to literally (*literally*) everyone who works, because there are some very un-cute donkeys who don’t and won’t.

        • Agree with this… Donkey basically is PROUD of the fact she’s never managed to hold down an actual job or earn a steady income. imo it’s one of her more despicable traits.

          Dr. Dadbod could marry literally anyone else and set himself for less of a lifetime of misery. If he hitches his stall with a Donkey he is volunteering for a lifetime of financial support. At least Julia’s dad will be happy if there is a Marson wedding so he can offload the financial succubus.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            A zillion (or 20) years ago, I dated a guy who was largely self-defeating (even masochistic) in his choices of women. He’s also a doctor, and way less attractive than Son of Sam.

            Early on, he seemed smart, funny, respectful, and all that, so I went out with him. I was much younger, so I didn’t flee into the night as I would now at all the warning signs that came at me fast and furious. He mostly seemed to date (and marry) women who were dazzled by his money, thus he could control them.

            Did I mention that he was incredibly bitter toward most women, because he believes they all ignored him until he past the halfway mark in med school and was likely to graduate?

            I did not care about his finances and tried to show him that I liked him for him (or at least for the witty gentleman he was early on), but that seemed to ramp up his anger and resentment toward me. I later realized it was because he couldn’t use his money to control me.

            From what I’ve seen on social media, he’s finally with a woman his own age. Of course she makes much less and is dependent on his handouts and castoffs (he gives her his used electronics when the new models come out).

            Some men just can’t be happy and have to torture themselves in shitty relationships.

    • She reminds me of the actress Caitlin FitzGerald (Libby Masters in Masters of Sex).

          • Raul can stay in Judy’s old bedroom at the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          No can do. I’m not 1000% certain, but I believe that the address for his bigtime arbitration bidness is the condo. If you go to his bidness website, get the physical address, then do the Googles on it, it’s a residential building.

          • 130 North Garland Court – Suite REDACTED (Not that REDACTED), Chicago, Illinois 60602 USA
            Residence zone.

            That kosher? Ask Pete perhaps….

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            I can’t imagine a bigshot legal (arbitration) business being run out of a condo. If it’s a small, sporadic practice, the residents there may not care. Or even notice.

      • That dude is a prop in that woman’s lifelong photoshoot. JA must be seething. One can only hope the divorce will be littered with horse-driven carriages. She seems like the type of woman that would register for her divorce. I hope she and JA become best of friends.

      • She just contacted us. Very pleasant. There’ll be some changes made later. Possibly a new post.

        • Ooh…I am looking forward to this!! Much better than the inevitable shitshow Idiot in chief will bring to the G7. Thank Goddess!!

        • May I just say that lady seems amazing and any concerns that she may have being linked to a donkey due to no choice of her own, I would vote for obliging her.

          • Seconded.

            Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison Julia Allison

          • Thirded

            She’s too classy for this joint or any connection to a donkey whatsoever.

        • Compare her outfit to the Opera with the Donkey’s:

          REDACTED

          She is beyond aspirational for the Donkey.

          The poor Donkey wouldn’t even know how to begin to copy her style.

      • I don’t think I would be “amused” if a good friend of mine was going to marry some nightmare. That’s not “good friends.” Keep out of it maybe, but…”amused?”

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Exactly what I’ve been thinking

  3. This is too much! I am dying laughing! The ex has THE LIFE A Donk has wished for, Instagrammable travels complete with Washington DC ties and she’s majorly book-ish.

    This is Christmas. Donkey hasn’t completed one thing her whole greg-damn life.

  4. I wouldn’t love for my friends to be mocking my choice. But after seeing her Instagram, it looks like they are both trying to compete with [REDACTED4]. She and her husband clearly have a ton of money and are very adventurous. I suspect D&D’s well Instagrammed travels are mostly trying to “compete” as in a “hey we go all over the world too!” But D&D’s travels are less glamorous, less romantic, less fashionable, [REDACTED4]’s are more of all the kinds of things that Donk strives for (even if many of us don’t strive for those same things). [REDACTED4} is clearly living Donk’s dream and I suspect Dodi (What’s his name again? too lazy to look it up) is trying to show he’s moved on in some way. But they are ultimately trying to “compete”/trying too hard, back dating all their travels.

    [REDACTED4] goes to some pretty great places, I’ll give her that!

  5. Eh, I don’t think it is a competition. The ex GF moved on and found somebody else and got married. Time will tell if Dodi and Donk will last. They are all different people with different circumstances. I think Donkey is a poor choice for Dodi, but he is the one who will need to figure that out. Maybe he likes having someone without a job so they can travel together to the medical conferences. Work travel can be a drag by yourself.

    • I don’t think [REDACTED4] is competing; she’s consistently been an adventurer.

      JA has consistently been a freeloader, only traveling on someone else’s dime. I Suspect JA’s insecurity is exacerbated given that A is accomplished, close with siblings, as thin as the women Dodi followed on IG, married, and seems intelligent with many interests.

      • I’m sorry if I wasnt clear, I was responding to the comment that they were both trying to compete with [REDACTED4]. His trips seem to be work-related and it is nice for them that they are in such interesting places. The other places they’ve gone for fun, like Mexico, were pretty modest places.

        It would be hard to compete with someone whose wedding was in Marrakech and involved dramatic entries on camelback and horse drawn carriages. I’d love to know what that little soirée cost.

          • That [REDACTED4] is whole ‘nother level. Her Bookface wedding albums…whoa! That’s Vogue right there. She’s just stunning. The whole fam and the couple, the choices, the elegance, wow. So impressed, and I’m uninspirable. She is the epitome of unbasic. How does Dodi even tolerate a donk? She suffers by comparison in every way. Is Dodi on the spectrum or something? [REDACTED4] upgraded to a rare custom model off a yearslong waitlist and Dodi got, what?…an out of service electric scooter?

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley (NOT "Julia Allison")- 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            True. But you could’ve shortened that sentence to “Donk is Dollar Store sophistication” and still been totally accurate

  6. No one wants to be glamorous and sophisticated more than Julia, and no one is less glamorous and sophisticated than Julia. It is like she is blind to how basic she is.

    Every single time she attempts to look cool, she fails. It really is mind boggling that she doesn’t look fantastic by mistake once in awhile, but she doesn’t. Family heirloom briefcase=Fail. Groovy stage dancer in fun costume=fail. Fun-loving girlfriend on romantic European vacation=fail. Sophisticated world traveler hanging out in London=fail. Thoughtful organizer of fun family running event to honor her baby nephew=fail. Kind and witty young woman on a Bravo documentary=FAIL!!!!

  7. That’s hilarious. She obviously didn’t pay her web designer and they just left the template copy and photos in. She could fix it herself in minutes, even with a fraction of the “social media expertise” she brayed about. So. Fucking. Lazy. It is to guffaw.

    • Yeah, she took the defunct Reimagine Factory site, changed the home page to that dumb photo Dadsers took at SFMOMA of her gazing at cliches, threw up some misleading word salad and linked a contact form that someone said didn’t even work. And then left these other pages up. Nothing links to them so nobody will likely see them, but it was supremely lazy not to take them off the server.

      • And of course the contact page doesn’t even work! If you want to contact Donkey about hiring her to harness the power of both mainstream and social media (huh?) for your company, the message goes into a black hole. THIS IS SUCCESS!

      • The ineffable Woos have been an invaluable resource for my desk errands, which include writing content for small businesses and entrepreneurs on how to market themselves effectively online. This half-assery is definitely going in a new “How NOT to…” post.

        I’m sure Jules will be chuffed to learn that she and her cohorts are helping to teach people in a developing country not to look like idiots in public. Hi Julia, usisidenge njeng’esile. (You are stupid like a donkey).

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