“Take My House, Please!”

NO ONE, not even a member of “tribe,” wants to buy Ryan Allis’s San Francsico eyesore, and he hasn’t exactly endeared himself to his neighbors.

From Mission Local:

Thirty-foot ceilings, a game room and theater, marble floors — a designer kitchen with “high-gloss cabinetry” — all contained within a 5,525-square-foot, four-story mansion that borders Dolores Park?

Who could say no, especially for the cut-rate deal of $5.2 million?

Everyone, apparently.

One of the owners of the 105-year-old converted church at 651 Dolores St. is having trouble offloading the opulent, Bruce Wayne-esque nook on the corner of Dolores and Cumberland dubbed “The Lighthouse.” It is but one of four residences in the 20,000-square-foot building.

In a Facebook post Tuesday, Ryan Allis, the CEO of a company called Hive, wrote that he placed the property on the market in August 2017 — but there have not yet been any takers.

Allis writes that he’s come down $1.6 million since putting the place on the market, in the hope of spurring a sale. And he’d like to make one soon: If he doesn’t unload the manse imminently, he writes that he’ll have to pass it back to its developer, forfeiting his $2 million down-payment (“a truly humbling experience.”).

“I’m not really sure why it hasn’t sold,” said Kevin Delmore, a realtor with Sotheby’s International Realty, which is marketing the property. “I’m surprised no one has scooped this up.”

He said there has been “interest across the globe,” but no takers yet.

What’s the hang-up? “Well it’s inside a 105 year old former church. Some people LOVE that. Some people don’t,” Allis wrote. “We’ve gotten close to receiving offers from nine different people — but no offer.”

Allis wrote that he and his business partners wanted to use the converted church as a community and co-living area associated with his company, Hive, “a global community of leaders who are working together on creating a better world,” according to its website. It would have been called the “Hive Community Center” and “would set the stage for building many coliving/coworking community centers around the world for our network of conscious leaders.”

The city, he discovered, wasn’t impressed.

“Unfortunately, we ran into a zoning issue and the city didn’t support our plans to create a community space there,” Allis wrote. “While we could live there and host our friends for epic dinners and gatherings — we couldn’t turn it into the Hive community co-living, co-working, and gathering space we had envisioned.”

Allis did not respond to a message seeking comment, and the exact nature of Hive’s efforts to seek authorization for his community center are unclear. The Planning Department in December 2016 dinged Hive’s former COO, Satya Kamdar, for holding large yoga and meditation events in the space, as it is zoned for residential uses and not for commercial events. The planning department also sent it a notice of violation for using the residence as Hive’s office headquarters, which is it not zoned for.

A shell company called “Hive Communities LLC” bought the renovated church in mid-April 2016 for $6.5 million — meaning the current sales price would constitute a serious loss.

Writes Allis: “If you’re looking for something really special in San Francisco, message me … but do it quickly! I’ve only got a few days left before I have to give it back to the developer.”

“I’ve learned a lot from this process and experience and even through the challenge, feel that I’ve come out of this even stronger, wiser, and happier.”

Ryan begs you!

Now it’s 24 months later and the home STILL hasn’t sold — in San Francisco — during the best economic times in 20 years and with a wave of SF tech IPOs like Uber, Airbnb, Lyft, Slack, and Pinterest.

We’ve reduced the price from $6.8 million to $5.2 million, which is a GREAT deal and much much lower per square foot than what other places are selling for in the area (nothing in this part of SF is priced under $1000 per square foot). We even hired Sotheby’s to market the property worldwide.

So why hasn’t it sold? Well it’s inside a 105 year old former church. Some people LOVE that. Some people don’t. We’ve gotten close to receiving offers from 9 different people — but no offer. It’s a special space for a very special buyer.

The space has quite a spiritual and magical history to say the least. I LOVED that as I am the son of a minister and a Buddhist social worker who loved supporting their communities. I have been the steward for this property for 3.5 years and now it’s time to hand it over to someone else.

I no longer have enough money to keep the space (it costs me $25k per month in mortgage and property taxes to keep it) and so in a few days it looks like I’m going to be giving the property back to the developer and will be personally losing my $2 million down payment (a truly humbling experience).

I’m writing this to tell the story — and to say if there is anyone who wants to buy this beautiful space and home from me, I’m open to giving a VERY good deal. Just comment or message me or tag a friend who may be interested.

Ryan tagged Judy Albertson when this eyesore was first put on the market. But she was broke as a joke and owed Rain money. However, there just might be a buyer … if only he lived in SF and could stop eating chicken pot pies long enough to make an offer!

64 COMMENTS

  1. Lewis Howes was set to be a loony from birth, as it turns out. Go on, Lewis: heal the sick and raise the dead!

    • Lewish is an odd duck. Plastered all over the internet and some of his spiel seems to be complete BS. The first thing out of his mouth concerns having been a professional football player. Really? His college football record isn’t all that impressive and this was years ago. Who cares? But it’s part of his shtick. He even went on ELLEN and did the broken-down-ex-football-player-becomes-multi-millionaire-because-he-loves-to-help-people routine. It apparently costs 2K to access any of Lewish’s materials and it ain’t much. One quickly reaches a pay wall and then must ante up more cash. Ali Shanti must achieve multiple orgasms when genuflecting at his internet presence.

      Has Winchester looked into this guy?

    • Handbag, I’ve been nursing an “epic” foot sprain for two weeks and keep thinking of your “you must be dehydrated” joke with Mr. Handbag. 😂

  2. The bedroom with a row of work tables on one side and a conference table on the other side is just bizarre. Optimizing work-life balance for the orgy set?

  3. Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

    He said there has been “interest across the globe,” but no takers yet.

    The “interest” has almost certainly been from Julia types. The kind who like to brag loudly about wanting to buy a 4-BR house or who blast all over social media when they’re looking at $5K/mo luxury Manhattan apartments that their fathers will never pay for anyway.

    • I appreciate your awesome catylization, Shirley! Some of the comment threads in Allis’s post made me chuckle. The “Strategist at Light Warrior Global Consulting’ weighs in:

      Ryan Allis
      There is a final open house today from 12pm to 2pm at 651 Dolores St for those in San Francisco who want to see it

      Maryn Ryan Soref
      Ryan Allis this is in my wheelhouse. Let’s chat tonight/tomorrow re: details. LOVE that it’s The Light House✨ I also have a property I’m working with in Champillon that is similar in name, scope and intention… very interesting ✨ thanks for tag Jackie 🌹 😘

      Jackie Rotman
      Maryn Ryan Soref do you 2 know each other? If not, I can text sooner if it helps get the ball rolling — but assuming Ryan will see this. You 2 are great! Muah!

      Jackie Rotman
      Maryn Ryan Soref oh yes, of course, you two were leading UN Braintrust. Xx

      Maryn Ryan Soref
      Jackie Rotman love & appreciate your awesome catalyzation! 🌈 we’re connected and met in person briefly w lovely Morgan💖 thanks so much for this, I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. much appreciated love! 🌹😘
      Ryan Allis let’s chat tonight/tomorrow pending happenings today. Sending best wishes for highest purpose of the beautiful property! 💫

  4. Wouldn’t any serious buyer wait for the default, or discuss with developers ahead of the default, and try to make a quick deal at $3-$4 million? (the developers having just taken the down payment out of escrow) If he was a real leader, or had any real advice, he could always take the seller to court over the down payment and hope to at least settle for having half of it returned to him. It sounds like he agreed to a very bad deal to begin with, at a price that is beyond the market, tried to do illegal things in the a residentially zoned space, etc. etc. etc. Some leader. can’t even lead himself.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      Typical for this group

    • Maybe Ryan was having another bad aya trip when he signed on the dotted line? Anywoo, he’s far too busy traipsing around Old San Juan with his latest piece – look for her to become the next HIVE COO in 3 2 1 – to deal with poor real estate decisions.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        He must’ve been high to have put down that much of a down payment. Especially on a property that’s more than a bit of a stretch to support

    • Yeah, “close to receiving offers” means exactly Jackshit — until a real estate transaction closes AND funds, you basically still have jackshit with the possible exception of some earnest money, assuming you didn’t enter the transaction with intentions of pulling a quick one over their eyes too, like it appears that you did wrt city ordinances, etc. — losing $2 million is hella hard way to learn that rules do apply to you too.

      What you get for listening to a donkey. Never the donkey.

      Also? That kitchen is the vom.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        “Close to receiving offers” means the same as Donkey posting videos of herself looking at $5K/mo apartments in Manhattan, knowing full well that Dadser was never going to shell out that much

        • Or Judy and Debbie searching for that elusive four-bedroom house in SF. It is to laugh!

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Did they actually go to see houses on the market?

  5. A real reporter would have found out why people don’t want it. Journalism, how does it work?

    • Yes, the story seemed lazy, half-assed, and it wouldn’t take much to have unearthed HIVE’s improprieties.

      • There are so many rich assholes in San Francisco that you’d think this would move in a split second, especially given the location. Is there something structurally unsound about the building, or is there some kind of major design flaw — e.g. even though it’s a million square feet there are only two bedrooms or something? Being somewhat familiar with the SF real estate market, “previous owners were assholes” does not deter buyers.

        Also, reading who’s posting the comments, some people I’m acquainted with IRL are way too closely connected to the HIVE shitshow than I’d ever have guessed.

          • for a 3bd/3ba, it’s really badly laid-out. probably designed by allis based on his “intended use” as an office and communal space.

            – the “second floor bedroom with office furniture” could have easily been divided into space to allow for 4bd/3ba or 5bd/3ba for more practical living.

            – there is no partition between the washer/drier and shower in the second bathroom, nor is there any practical space to rack soap, shampoo and cosmetics.

            – the big TV on the wall has chairs facing AWAY from it – what’s its intent? a big electronic fishtank? (cue the flying toaster screensaver)

            – where is the closet space?

            people probably look at the layout, think “this is a nightmare – i have to renovate to make it live-able” then put in one of the so called international near-offers on the chance they can pick it up at a reasonable cost.

          • Also the bedroom upstairs is cute and has a skylight, but there’s no closet space and no bathroom. The first level could have a kitchen and bath and be a fully functioning separate apartment, but right now there’s just a laundry room down there, too.

            The second floor loft area could be a nice library. Otherwise it is stupid space.

            Completely ill-conceived and you’re right, it would take at least a million to fix it.

        • There was a pretty detailed article with a lot of pictures of it posted here maybe six months to a year ago? Anyway, there is a whole bunch of unusable wasted space, and the kind of rooms that you would really want to be wonderful and spectacular in a house that price were underwhelming. The kitchen, for example, was pathetically bad. I think I also remember what looked like a glassed-in conference room attached to and in full view of one of the bedrooms. I think he really wanted to make it into an office instead of residence. It looked a lot more like a shared workspace than a home. He probably thought the zoning rules would be bent for him.

          • numerous photos available on realtor.com. the whole place just looks soul-less.

            the toilet has a scenic view.

          • Allis posted 33 fauxtos on FB a few days ago. Wasted Space was my first thought. Well, that and Pottery Barn was responsible for every furnishing in the bedrooms.

  6. What kind of vercockte financing deal does he have on this turkey? What he’s saying about down payment, mortgage, developer, etc. doesn’t make sense to me unless he signed some ridiculous paper with the developer for a bridge loan and hasn’t been able to secure permanent financing for himself. Then again, the size of the fuck I have to give about him and his life would be invisible to an electron microscope.

    • My first thought: how the fuck is this eyesore financed? Makes no sense but, like you, I don’t care enough about Boy Blunder to turn my query into a research project.

      • Lil’ Man does seem to be on a manic run to deplete his finances. I’m waiting for another breakdown in 3 2 1 and this time he won’t need the aya.

      • “verkokte” and “verkakte” are also acceptable. It’s all transliteration from Yiddish, which is written with the Hebrew alphabet, and whether you used an “f” or a “v” depended on which part of Germany or Eastern Europe you came from.

  7. Michael Campesino
    Ryan Allis, go to planning to see if you can convert it back into a church without a variance. Starting a church is relatively easy with the IRS (see the Jon Oliver episode). As a church you will probably be able to do everything you had originally intended. Fellowship, people living there, events, dinners, etc….in addition you don’t have to pay those pesky taxes and you can pay yourself a salary from “donations” or possibly relable subscription as “tithing donations” Selling this as a home is very difficult.
    $1000/sqft is easy when something is 600sq ft but at 5500sqft there are very few buyers. You nailed it about the taxes. Paying $75k in property taxes per year someone wealthy enough to buy can also just rent something for the times that they actually need it. With that said…maybe Scientology might be interested. Regardless of what anyone thinks about Scientology they are organized, can mobilize their capital easily, and they have beautiful trophy properties all over the world. Good luck

    Tory Reiss
    Michael Campesino And this ladies and gentlemen is why he’s the wunderkind 🙌🏼

    Lia Elle
    Michael Campesino yep this.

    YES, THIS! Sell it to David Miscavige, Ryan!

    • This is the kind of blinding insight only Hive can bring! So you set up the Powerhouse Church of the Blinding Light, and it buys the property! But uh where does that money come from? Oh, I know! Ryan can donate the apartment to the church! Except that he doesn’t own it. Such creativity! And offered for free!

    • This is ridiculous, and the building’s architect lives upstairs in the penthouse, so no fucking way would this fly with him.

  8. Some of the comments are so funny! These are on his post, NOT mine! (I removed last names because, internet)
    Gesse: There’s definitely some schadenfreude in seeing a guy who made an elitist social media network lose millions of dollars on a bad real estate investment.

    Lysol: everyone who has posted positively on this thread, you are now on the list. be warned.
    Nick: Boo-Fucking-Hoo. You fucking land baron, “hive” living, fucks that have turned my home into a soulless tin shell can screw.
    Michael : Ryan Allis, go to planning to see if you can convert it back into a church without a variance. Starting a church is relatively easy with the IRS (see the Jon Oliver episode). As a church you will probably be able to do everything you had originally intended. Fellowship, people living there, events, dinners, etc….in addition you don’t have to pay those pesky taxes and you can pay yourself a salary from “donations” or possibly relable subscription as “tithing donations” Selling this as a home is very difficult.
    $1000/sqft is easy when something is 600sq ft but at 5500sqft there are very few buyers. You nailed it about the taxes. Paying $75k in property taxes per year someone wealthy enough to buy can also just rent something for the times that they actually need it. With that said…maybe Scientology might be interested. Regardless of what anyone thinks about Scientology they are organized, can mobilize their capital easily, and they have beautiful trophy properties all over the world. Good luck

    • There are now over 325 comments and some are hilarious!

      Drew Kossoff
      Have you checked out the AirbNb alternative called Bungalow? Long term master leases, short term rental income : https://bungalow.com

      Ophelia Coeur De Noir
      Cuz that’s exactly what SF needs. Ugh. Why are you all so terrible?

  9. I haven’t been around SF in a long time, other than the Moscone Center for conferences and Russian Hill to visit my aunt, but is Dolores now a nice area? Because the last time I was there it was…nondescript. Neither a literal shithole like the Tenderloin nor prosperous like Noe Valley. I take it that has changed?

    • It’s… not a literal shithole, I guess, but it smells like pee and there are people camped out in Dolores Park, doing drugs. Last time I was there, a couple of months ago, there were literally tents on the sidewalk on 18th. But Lil’ Ryan loooves community, so I’m sure he invited them to hang out with him… for a $1,999.99 cover charge.

  10. Bay area realtor here….What. A. Dumb. Ass. You wanted to use a place zoned for residential in other ways and didn’t think to check with the city before putting $2M down and taking a loan from the developer? Not to mention it is a condo, with an HOA which will have a host of it’s own rules on how a space can be used. They really do think they are special and can make anything happen, don’t they?

    • It sounds like there are 4 units, each with its own street address, and the developer lives in the penthouse. There’s an article from 2016 saying that the owner of 651 Dolores (Lil’ Ryan’s unit) was Saytar Kamdar, COO of Hive— and that was also leading another unit in The Lighthouse. (So Hive occupied 2 of the 4 units?) Kamdar got in trouble with the SF Planning Dept for violating code and hosting public events there. (Bet the the other neighbor loved him.)

      So now Ryan owns it? Or Hive does? I’m sure it’s sketchy AF, and Lil’ Ryan was writing off business expenses on a place that was not zoned to operate as a business.

      Now the woos are all telling him to declare it a church to avoid taxes and skirt the zoning laws, because fuck the Planning Dept and the neighbors. Such community! Making the world a better place!

      • Very sketchy. That COO is Lil’ Man’s former piece. She’s mentioned in the lawsuit that Ryan’s former partner brought against him. I’d hate to be the one keeping the books on this operation.

        • Satya is a dude. Unfortunately this network of people is starting to overlap verrrrrrry closely with my own :-/

          • Um, er, oops. That’s twice in two days that your dotty aunt Gilly has messed up. I feel like Joe Biden! Or Trump at the TelePrompTer!

        • And, knowing that it was zoned as residential, Lil’ Ryan planned to turn it into a Hive Community Center work/live/community events space. Dude, even though it’s huge, it’s still just a residential condo. You have neighbors. They didn’t sign up to live next to an events center.

          Also, it’s butt ugly.

          • How their realtor didn’t insist on staging is baffling to me. That is a big commission to lose out on.

        • From the comments:
          Dexter Fowler on December 27, 2016 at 4:51 pm
          I agree with Kim,
          Remember Kamdar and Hive raised nearly $1,000,000 for Donald Trump. All went to purchase the Make America Great hats again according to KGO radio and Kron4

          • Is this legit? The St. Louis Cardinals outfielder is posting in Lil’ Man’s comments?

          • Well JUlia would have worn the republican senator Kirk hats when she cheerleaded on his campaign

          • My guess is that this is BS. No evidence of it anywhere than a single comment on MissionLocal.

  11. Ryan Allis is the epitome of living beyond his means and hoping to have others support his lifestyle. Co-living was nixed (like you wouldn’t figure that out before putting a down payment?) and his buddy Julia Allison’s favorite Airbnb’ing wouldn’t sustain the cost, if the owner/developer even allowed it.

    It reminds me of people buying a Tesla Model 3 they can’t afford to using the gig economy to support the absurd payments. Or in the most recent tragic case, using the Get Around app, to loan a car to a where a young woman killed the husband of a couple celebrating their 3rd anniversary.

    I have zero sympathy for him and his plight as a #ProfessionalVictim

    • I fell down the Allis rabbit hole a little bit reading his FB page. He just moved from San Diego to Santa Monica in June because he said he wanted to be in a busier business center than San Diego, and with better weather than San Francisco. And now he and a new girlfriend of what seems to be a few months have been jetting all over the world “working” on Hive and something called Nexus, but it looks like a big boondoggle. He attended a Camp Mystic mid-burn event in Pescadero in May (no donkeys in the picture.) He claims to have met his biz partner Shorney at Burning Man 2018. Not a whole lot of time transpired between that event and her running the whole company. And yet he somehow now can’t afford the SF property. And allegedly raised money for Donald Trump in 2016, one has to wonder how that went down with the Burning Man set. He’s having Marianne Williamson as the keynote speaker at his upcoming HIVE event, so maybe he’s off the MAGA train now. Strange dude, and Hive just seems like a big Ponzi scheme. I wouldn’t be surprised if he blows through all the rest of his money in short order.

      • So, the reason why I know some of these people is because I worked on a project for Nexus (I’m being intentionally vague here). It’s been around for a while and isn’t a boondoggle, but it hasn’t really turned into what the founders hoped it would. It’s an annual event, plus some satellite stuff, that was basically intended to be a philanthropy bootcamp for millennials who either had inherited money or made a ton off an IPO or acquisition. The founders are very well-meaning and non-woo, but the complaint I’ve heard about it in recent years is that it’s “full of assholes” and packed to the gills with the kind of Burning Man trustfunders who seem to overlap fully with the Hive crew. Everyone I met through it was very nice so I can’t back up the “assholes” remark, but most were wildly out of touch with reality. The sorts of people who are able to take on freelance “creative” careers because their parents gave them a boost but who nevertheless think they’re on a path to change the world.

        My guess if Allis is doing stuff for Nexus now, given Hive’s legal problems and his apparent own money problems, he’s hoping to sell its assets to them.

  12. I live in a neighborhood with a very hot real estate market, though not nearly as pricy as SF. The stupid things people do because they can’t be bothered to check zoning before they buy, or figure out the actual cost of refurbishment is crazy. Lots of people collapsing their neighbors homes because they want the basement of their row home to have higher ceilings, so they send a bunch of unskilled workers down there to dig it out. Can you imagine making an investment like that with Julia Allison as your advisor/smartest friend? Terrifying.

    • I have a neighbor who bought a waterfront lot adjacent to a county park that has local archaeological significance, separated from the water by protected-species plants. She never bothered to find out that she couldn’t build on the lot because she’d be digging up dead native Americans, or building docks because she’d be cutting down protected vegetation and dredging in an area that isn’t allowed because the oyster beds are also protected.

      And of course now she’s trying to sell it for a million more than she paid for it, and I’d bet good money she has no plans to reveal anything about the restrictions to anybody.

      Oh, and she’s a woo who is holding paid events on her property, which is not zoned for it, the same as Allis was doing in the SF property. She’s turned out to be a crappy neighbor who doesn’t care about others outside her woo circle.

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