Birdies Chirp: Celibacy? Bisexuality? It Is To Laugh! But Have You Heard About Unreasonable Man?

Donk’s obsession with talking about herself, as well as her inability to follow through on anything, has sent another “sister” to RBD.

Sister Spill is soooo tired of our burro’s broken record and the constant need for validation. Donkey claims to have been celibate for eight months during her “healing journey” in Bali. However, according to our credible source, there were definitely breaks, all of which were motivated by the mania Donk experiences when receiving attention from a masculine. Don’t forget, Judy was still steaming mad at Chad Phutureprimitive for ignoring her, and she wanted ghosting to be illegal!

Sr. Spill also cried BS on Judy coming out as bisexual, the fourth source to do so, not including alleged lovah Myka McLaughlin, who strongly denied any sexual involvement with A Donkey. In addition, NO ONE seems to have met the “beautiful entrepreneur also jilted by New York” who Julia claims to have dated, which is odd since she brays such involvements to any sister willing to listen to her rattle on.

In addition, our source indicated that either directly before or right after Reasonable Man, Donk rushed headlong into a shaky romantic alliance with a businessman who was embroiled in legal troubles. They’d only hooked up twice, yet she went with Unreasonable Man on a tropical getaway.

Things didn’t go well under the palm trees. Unreasonable Man was preoccupied with business concerns and not emotionally available for a braying burro in need of constant validation. Still, Donk blithered on and on to anyone who would listen about her new love and their “strong sense of connection.”

Ultimately, this “relationship” lasted less than one month and ended messily. High Maintenance Mama then glommed onto either Reasonable Man or Alex Marson, once again claiming to have experienced an “instant connection.”

We’re hearing rumors that at least one Marson is reading RBD. Let’s hope any concerned relative sees this post.


    • Tho evolved, tho thpithual in her goddess gown! But beware, masculines, of getting involved with this soul-sucking vampire.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      She looks my age, and I’m over 50

  1. She would save herself so much grief if only she could keep QUIET about how hot and in demand she is. (And even more grief if she could keep quiet in general.)

  2. She must be telling the cashier at the gas station about her love life at this point.

    If any Marson is reading this, I hope they warn Dodi before he impregnates a donkey.

    • I can easily see her blithering on to one of her maids in Bali – labor is so cheap there! – while the poor woman keeps continually nodding while having no idea what the fuck this spoiled brat is saying.

  3. Is Unreasonable Man someone we’ve heard of, like, someone who’s made headlines for his legal troubles?

      • I ask because “businessman embroiled in legal troubles” could easily describe any one of the Hive people based on what we’ve heard.

        • Julia does credit Ryan Allis with “facilitating” her hookup with Dodi. Maybe he facilitated hookups with other men? Isn’t there an unsavory word for such a person?

          • Speaking of Lil’ Ryan, do we think that 1. he dumped A Donkey from any future Hive summits or whatever the dumb fuck they’re called, because he realized she was a fraud and/or received terrible feedback about her, OR 2. Hive was in chaos/legal trouble and he just overlooked her?

          • I’m not sure Ryan kicked Donk out of HIVE. He and the ridiculous Faith Shorney/Faith Reed often leave encouraging (enabling) comments on whatever drivel Donk posts to FB. Did our burro disengage? Perhaps citing “other projects” requiring her attention? Those projects including a tight leash on Dr. Dodi and endless vacations from vacation-itis?

          • I wonder if Hive’s legal problems caused Peter to encourage Julia to stay away from them, particularly because she roped him into speaking at a few of their events.

          • Good point, Sad Rad. And he’s clearly keeping his distance from Allis and the ever changing roster of girlfriend second-in-commands.

        • thought about a hive person also, and this got me curious so between desk errands, went onto their website to have a little poke around. I may have gone off on a tangent somewhat though…

          as we noted previously, mulia is listed on the hive “thank you” page as being affiliated with the “upward spiral foundation”.

          a quick search on the google reveals a website URL that resolves to a fb page created late 2018-ish for the USF – located in the UK.

          one of the fb posts claims that the ‘foundation began in secret in 2015’, which makes no sense – if you create a charity organization whose intent is doing good, then wouldn’t you want to shout this from the rooftops? no publicity mechanism perhaps?

          i wonder if the recent red-coated trip to the UK by our lady of introspection had anything to do with a pitch to said organization, and she hung out a shingle (publicly on hive) without getting a go-ahead from the suspiciously-woo looking org to move forward.

          mystery new potential publicity gig, podcast announcement, trip to the UK, no action afterwards; does this all link?

          i’m a curious marionette in a curious world.

          • I posted about the Upward Spiral Foundation a few weeks ago and it’s my understanding that the doomed non-profit involved Donk working her mania in 2018 before becoming bored. I don’t believe anything that our lady of stick-to-it-ness worked on dates back to 2015 and I did see other orgs called Upward Spiral.


            Dodi took Donk to London. Who else would have been willing to foot the bill at this point?

          • thanks auntie. weird that i posted comments on that piece and don’t remember it.

            unless they’ve cut her off (unlikely), i can see donk going to daddy moneybags and saying “dadsers, i have a potential new consulting gig in london – this one is a cert – can you spring me a finn and a sawbuck for plane-fare and i’ll pay you back when i get the first milestone installment?”

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            The parents (or maybe just Dadser?) seem to keep her a tight financial leash, apparently giving her enough to live modestly, but not up to her faux socialite tastes

          • Indeed. Much of her income for a good three-four years was generated through AirBNB.

  4. I can’t figure out Donkey’s long con with the “I was celibate!” braying. Do you know or care whether your friends are having sex? She’s so weird.

    • My take on this is that it is a humblebrag. “Oh, I’m just so sought after, but I’m not indulging, I’m making a statement to reconnect with my spiritual self, and those bad boys just have to wait in line until I’m done purifying myself.”

      • This. I honestly believe she thought POSING as celibate made her more desirable to the men folk, increasing her chances of landed a loaded wallet. “They want what they can’t have” would have been NGMB’s advice.

        But I doubt anyone noticed or gave a damn if they did.

        • This reminds me of that time when I was 14 and a friend of mine, also 14, spent several months trying to get a hot boy’s attention by pointedly ignoring him, also operating on the “he’ll want what he can’t have” premise that didn’t even require a NGMB but was also beaten to death on every lameass shit “teen romance” TV show we watched at that time. Nevertheless, even back then I realized that this strategy can only work when the target cares enough to notice being ignored by you, which, in case “you” means “random person whose existence he’s not fully aware of,” isn’t going to work. Yeah. Just like that, only far, far away from high school. PROMMMM!

    • The Julia in my life has been on a path of recovery that I have to give her credit for. She quit drinking and has a sponsor and going to meetings and is doing yoga and other things good for her soul and it has calmed her down somewhat.

      That said, she has this obsession with celibacy. Constantly swearing off men while simultaneously keeping an eye out for men to date. She loves to talk about how she is celibate and super happy. It’s about making herself believe she has broken the cycle, that she is not judging her value by whether or not she has a man. If she convinces everyone she is celibate, that’s part of her path to healing and it means she is fixed and dateable again. I think this is the same thing Julia is doing. People probably give her the “you cannot be loved until you love yourself” speech and tell her to spend some time not “in-relationship” (or whatever they call it) so if she says she was celibate she can check that off the list.

      Just a thought.

      • Yes, this explanation re: celibacy seems so Judy and the woos fetishize self-love to an absurd extent.

      • Cakezie! Is is just me, or you haven’t been hanging around the basement lately?

        Also, I just don’t get what it is with people (donkey people excluded, because we all know what those are about) constantly having to talk about themselves. Be celibate, don’t be celibate, who cares? Don’t make me listen to your endless tales about yourselves, FFS. If anything, it tells me you’re still looking for external validation of some sort. And ain’t nobody got time for that.

        Talking about myself: The above rant just made me wonder if it’s possible that *I* am a narcissistic donkey who simply hates other people paying attention to themselves and not her, and then I realized nah, I’m not even that interested in my own life. Nowhere near enough to talk at length about how happy or unhappy I am. No one cares. FFS.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          They’re the type of people who spend so much time sniffing their own farts that it’s affected their brains – to the point they believe their every move and utterance is fascinating to the general public

      • Cakez, so nice to see you!

        Sometimes people who have been obsessed with fucking become equally obsessed with not fucking, and it’s always just as boring.

  5. OT: Someone LOL’ed at Donkey’s comment to Noodles Moodley’s attempt to rope in free babysitters:

    “I love this sweetie. I’m in to watch Raven!“

      • But has Noodles asked Pigeon if it’s OK that A Donkey parent her for the evening because her mother wants to loan the kid out on a non-stop basis while she follows her bliss?

        Noodles and Swiss Mister should hook up.

    • I think it’s wonderful that Judy takes precious time from whatever Extremely Important Endeavor she’s claiming to be dedicated to this week or this month, in order to babysit for a child and her baby. International Bidness Lady Consulting is like that, right? In other words, unless Dadser is juicing her bank account, she’s managed to get Sugar Dodi to cover her everyday expenses.

      • Surely Judy could become Pigeon’s full-time nanny? Imagine, our burro having her first real job and at age 53. I’m getting all teary-eyed!

    • What a diabolical way to outsource The Terrible Twos.

      I get the feeling, reading between the lines, that motherhood isn’t all she found it cracked up to be. I can only imagine chid-proofing a house filled with candles, incense and little Buddhist altars. And her wistful little comment about missing flying off to Necker island, clearly staging ropes courses and day trips hiking up Mt. Tam isn’t going to afford that for her.

      • She’s as sneaky as the rest of the goddesses, what with this “It Takes a Village” concoction that’s, frankly, an abdication of responsibility.

        • Also, wouldn’t you want to have a consistent presence wrt a babysitter and not a revolving door of strangers? It wasn’t long ago she had mentioned having a nanny, too, so I guess that is now a luxury about as remote as Necker Island. No wonder she is seething with frustration and anger. She expected to be a founder’s wife, too.

          • My thought, too! We had a couple of sitters that I absolutely adored when a kid and looked forward to seeing. But a different woo nutcase playing afternoon or evening mommy every other day? Welcome to hell on earth, Pigeon!

      • Yeah…she misses the Ferret lifestyle. That comment about Necker Island was a) unecessary b) revealing.

        • She probably can’t just jet off to foreign lands like she used to for her “Pretend to be Friends By Giving Out Fancy Gift Bags in an Exotic Locale While We Color and Sniff Incense” retreats.

  6. Can we talk about everyone’s favorite white-appearing race-baiter, Moody Spaghetti? She apparently appreciates none of the irony, nor hypocrisy, in her newest quest to make “toxic white feminism” a thing. Between her woker-than-thou posts, in which she and her pack of SJWs pick a topic of discussion then compete to see who can play the race card quickest against whoever is dull enough to playtheir debate charade, she’s actually put up a spreadsheet for her dirty hippy friends to sign up to raise her child Pigeon, credential, experience and payment free, in order to permit her and no vows more time to pose for photos fiddling with his clipboard and her to social media preach herself straight into woke nirvana.

    • Beyond the risk of giving unfettered access to a child to a pornucopia of personality-disordered woo, the idea of a spreadsheet sent at random to social media expecting people to raise your kid for you out of some misguided sense of entitlement justified by a cliche (“it takes a village” of idiots) has got to be the height of millennial twitdom. What really puts the cherry on it is that our very own Donk offers her “sweetie” sister her experienced childcare services for Pigeon to which someone reacted with a laughing emoji. Kind of apropos of everything.

      Also, Moody Spaghetti wants to sue the federal government for her and fellow woos time spent making protest calls against policy with which they disagree. Oh, honey, no. That’s not how 1983 civil rights claims, or any legal claims for that matter, work, despite all your and fivehead’s trying to make settlement happen. In fact, that’s not how any of this works in civil society. You have to possess the elements of an actual legal claim, including damages, of which hurt feelings and “but I want it” or “that’s problematic, now pay me” don’t qualify. Having a generally disgruntled and aggrieved personality, because the world doesn’t conform to the perceived notions in your drug-addled mind, doesn’t cut it, either. But, thanks for playing and contributing to the toilet, overflowing with the basest of human instincts, that is Bookface. Maybe we should be grateful to the medium, however perverse and destructive it’s become, as it does keep these nonsensical opinions out of more tangible and substantive media by which our culture will be more harshly historically judged.

      • CIAD, Noodles should pay you for this expert analysis. I would have made this latest Moodley nonsense the focus of a post, but I’ve been so busy that I threw up the Celibate Judy story before seeing the sign-up-to-raise-my-kid jaw dropper. Parenting is hard work, never glamorous, but I cannot imagine outsourcing my children to my friends sans compensation(!) because I wanted copious me time

        I’ve been getting a kick out of the woke posts re: race. This is the woman who posed again and again with her white besties in culturally appropriated “goddess” garb that was one step removed from minstrelsy.

        • JFAing to add that my mother never expected to be PAID when advocating for civil rights, calling up congressional representatives re: fair housing, and canvassing for Jimmy Carter. The woos’ sense of entitlement never ceases to amaze me.

          • Aunt Gilly,
            If you’re looking for material La Balm’s FB is a treasure trove of self-love woo-sense. She has also married herself! A 4 time loser.

          • Thanks, bunny!

            Good lord, how many Happy Birthday to Me posts did she throw up?

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