Updated: Dumped: Jaysus, Jordo, The 19th-Century Melodrama Is Off The Charts

Because I cannot write or talk about anything else, I’m going to tell you what happened.

I have spent my life firmly believing that I can only be loved conditionally. I have chosen man after man who loved me, sure, but who also needed me in very concrete, logistical, and often financial ways. I told myself that I was helping them because I loved them, but the truth is I was also helping them so that I could keep them. Because if all I have to give someone is me, that’s clearly not going to be enough.

And then I fell in love. I know you probably don’t believe me; that’s okay. I wouldn’t believe me, either. But I was in love, so much so that it poured out of me in waves. I told everyone, because I had to. I told the Internet, even though I knew better. It felt like I’d been awake for years, and was finally, finally allowed to sleep.

It felt like I finally had a reason for everything that happened; something I could point to and say This is why.

It felt so good.

I talked to my therapist about this at length, of course. I told her how I had this knee-jerk desire to send him posts I’d written on various topics, so we could skip ahead towards understanding each other better. I’m better at writing about things than I am at talking – I always have been – and I didn’t want to mess anything up with inelegant words. Stop, she said. Do not do that. Let him learn about you from you; not from your tidy little gift boxes of stories.

And so I made a decision: For perhaps the very first time in my life, I would come out of the gate, very simply, as myself. I would not perform. Because I didn’t want to do that anymore, and because I believed that with this man, I could finally, finally stop acting.

I did it. I stopped.

And he left me.

So suddenly, and so cruelly, that it felt very literally – viscerally – like I’d been hit in the face.

On one day, there were mutual professions of true love, concrete plans for the future, just as it had been practically from the moment we met. We knew we were acting crazy; we laughed at ourselves for how hard and fast we’d fallen. We also just knew.

On the next, I’m sitting in my living room writing about couches, and I get a series of texts.

Texts.

His ex-wife asked for him back. He’s going to give it a try, just to see if it can work. He doesn’t think it will. He loves me. He doesn’t love her. It’s too complicated for him to explain any more fully; I need to trust him.

Hours later, we talk on the phone, for two minutes. He says he has made his decision. A 7.1 earthquake hits at the moment I hang up, which makes for a lovely metaphor: The earth rolling under my feet, as I wonder whether what I’m feeling is even real.

More texts. More promises that he loves me; he just has to see; he’s so scared he’ll find out he was wrong, and it’ll be too late; I’ll be gone.

It’s Saturday night, and I’m woken up by a phone call. He has to tell me something important.

He’s been lying. He’s not going back to his ex. He just doesn’t love me. He’s been lying.

He “does this sometimes.”

I am terrified to write about this, of course. I know what’s coming: You’re so stupid. You weren’t really in love. You’re almost forty years old, how could you act like this?

You. You. You.

So let me save you the trouble: I am embarrassed, and humbled in a way that I don’t know I’ve ever been. I know that I did nothing “wrong.” I know it’s “not about me.” I know that the way this man treated me was far, far beyond the scope of how human beings should treat other human beings. But I also know that I played a role in this, because of course I did.

I created chaos, once again. I distracted myself, once again. I ran full-speed towards the beautiful feelings so that I could put as much distance as possible between myself and the bad ones.

I also want him back. Isn’t that awful? I want him to come to me crying, begging, with some crazy explanation – a gun was being held to his head, perhaps. I want this to make sense.

I live in LA now, which means that I hear the words “the universe is trying to tell you something” more than I’d like. But god damn if I didn’t get the message this time. And here is what the universe is telling me – in the most crushing way possible, because apparently that’s how I need to hear it if it’s going to get through.

I have to stop running. I have to sit in my ugly, sad, shameful feelings, and I have to pick them apart, bit by bit, so I can see what’s inside. I have to learn how to be with myself, by myself. I simply have to stop looking for solutions to sadness – to loneliness, to fear – that aren’t right there in my own little brain and body and heart.

I’ve said all this before; I know I have. I’m embarrassed to be saying these things again. I know that I may not even get it right this time; this lesson is not being learned as neatly as I’d like it to be.

But here it is. Here I am. Broken, and putting the pieces back together. All by myself. Again.

One more thing.

When I got that first text – the one that hit me in the face – here is what I did. I picked up the phone and called Francesca. I walked straight out the door with her talking to me, telling me to breathe, and straight over to my neighbor Margo’s house. I told her I needed to stay there, and she said, “stay.”

Later that night – after the earthquake – Margo and me and her three daughters curled up together on the couch. I don’t remember what we watched. I remember her youngest gave me a beaded necklace – one I’m wearing still – and that we made friendship bracelets from rainbow string.

On that couch, with those women, I was held.

I am not alone. I am loved. I am lucky.

I have said all this before; I am ashamed I can so easily forget my own words. And so I’ll say them again, and again, and again, and then, one day, I will believe that they’re true.

Nope, sister, not even close.

Wolf is the Brayshnikov of Modesto writes:

Can you imagine?

“Since we went out a couple of times, I am going to send you links to the top-100 posts on my blog. I hope you enjoy reading about bathroom tiles, frozen pizza and my ex-husband.”

She is so far gone.

Update: Jason Ziemianski, the beau who did the dumping, gave a Tedx talk on … wait for it … The Secret to Staying Married:

Ziemianski also manages something called How to Tickle a Robot, whatever the hell that is, and has several pictures of his partially clothed children on Facebook. In addition, Ziemianski founded a teenage feminist group, which he notes on his résumé.

Keep aiming for the stars, Jordo!

Thanks, tipsters!

67 COMMENTS

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      It’s the perfect dramatic touch to The Neverending Jordo Chronicles.

      How much you wanna bet the earthquake was NOT perfectly timed like that?

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Jordo should have her dramatic license yanked.

  1. Jordan needs to get to the root of why she cannot be without a man for more than two weeks then try being alone for at least six months and then slowly get back into the dating scene. Mommy needs a boy friend or she can’t function is not the example she wants to be setting for her kids.

  2. She called the father of her children a sponging deadbeat on a public forum. Class act, this one.

    I guess she decided to “come out of the gate” wielding her full arsenal of neediness and bitterness.

    New Ex probably told her he was going back to his ex because he was so sick of hearing her slag off HER ex for the umpteenth time, and getting him to do the same to “prove the specialness of their love” or something.

    Jordo, constantly telling a new man how all the other men in your life have failed you and been unworthy doesn’t make you seem “vulnerable” and “emotionally honest”. It might seem endearing at first, make him feel all protective and such…but hammering the point makes you seem like a nutjob. New Guy couldn’t scramble out of that fast enough.

    • This. And I’m tired of the word “vulnerable” being abused. The term is not a synonym for soul-sucking clinger.

      • Thanks to several individuals featured here, I have come to the realization that “vulnerable” should be translated as “talking about myself.”

      • The all the men she’s ever been with needed me emotionally financially part.
        He Jen snapping out of it on the full moon time, bless

    • This woman did it again by slamming this dude and outing him just like she outed her ex husband and his conduct. Why does she need to do that to these people? No wonder they leave in under 2 weeks!

      • She’s like the Taylor Swift of the self-proclaimed Instagram Influencer set. She should have “Enter At Your Own Risk” tattooed across her … Never you mind!

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      Whenever someone constantly complains about all the people who’ve wronged poor innocent them, I eventually assume that they either bring it on themselves or are overly dramatic attention-seeking missiles

      • Indeed! It’s always poor, poor pitiful me with this one, and I’ve started to wonder if she seeks out men who will (allegedly) mistreat her so that she can play the victim card. She certainly enjoys this role.

  3. Honestly, it sounds like he was trying to let her down easy, and she called him 80 squazillion times until she broke him and said he didn’t love her so she would stop harassing him. She should thank him for not getting a restraining order.

    It sounds like Julia and literally every man she has ever dated, kissed or met.

      • It does explain how Jordo got caught up in the Donkey-Go-Round in the first place (i.e., pathologically self-involved + dumb.)

        • P.S.: I expected to find that “Dumped:” in the title of this post would be followed by a description of Jean Gray’s current travails, but joke’s on me. They all blend together. I guess all unhappy losers are unhappy in the same way, or something.

          • Of course we expect the Dummkoph Follies to continue in perpetuity across the universe, and I, for one, am here for it.

          • Venus must be in retrograde. Related: Nisha appears to have buried all of her Noah No-Vowels pics over the last week or so.

    • Hmm, this didn’t occur to me, but you may be right, and if you’re right, then I want to cancel my reply to Handbag below.

  4. He “does this sometimes” is genuinely creepy. The guy is a pathological liar and without a conscience, and she invited him fully into her life, and thus into the lives of her children, which would scare the bejesus out of me. Jordan, if you read here, it seems to me you need to think LESS about your feelings, not more; feelings are not facts, and the fact is that you’re a mother of two small children who don’t need any more trauma. Your feelings are vastly less important than your behavior, which is where your focus should be.

    • Totally creepy. As is the emotional cripple who wants him back in her life.

      Jordo, honey, you dodged a bullet with this L.A. nutcase. Perhaps start attending 12-step meetings for lovomaniacs? Legit suggestion.

    • Absolutely this, all of it. Based on the little I know about Jordan, I don’t like her at all, but the guy sounds like a textbook sociopath to me.

    • That’s the first thing that I thought. Those poor kids. I know with her first post-Kendrick boyfriend, the kids hung out/ went on trips with him. Guessing the same with the new guy. I would really not do that for a very long time. Those kids should not see these guys in and out so quickly.

        • No post, just mentioned it in the comments section. It was right after the Mexico trip they were supposed to take together. They must be on good terms though or were because she was shilling and working with him on those Malibu trailer homes.

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      Assuming she’s telling the total truth and not leaving things out and manipulating the truth to prop up her batshit image online

    • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

      I don’t have much experience with sociopaths/psychopaths, but I cannot imagine that one will outright admit to a victim that they’ve just been played and that the ‘path enjoys occasionally doing so

  5. I wasn’t around for the time she was part of the scene, so I don’t have much give-a-fucks for her, generally speaking either way, but as I said on the other page, I do feel bad for her. Something like this hurts a lot and hurts deep, because it’s a betrayal. Maybe her bawling in front of him that time was all it took to let him know he didn’t want her kind of high maintenance. He did thank her, after all. Even if she’s a narcissistic loon, he’s still a jerk if he handled it this way.

  6. Who doesn’t want a woman who
    “sitting in my living room writing about couches”
    Or drapes or forks or curtain ghouls from Martha Stewart
    #squadgoals

  7. I feel horrible for the neighbor’s kids who had to witness this woman having a full break down after they were in an earthquake no less. She should not put other people through her misery. I don’t blame this guy one bit. As soon as I read the part of him wanting to go back to his ex wife I knew he was lying to get away from her – because what women would deny a man the ability to put his family back together and not want him to do that! This woman!! I dont believe he called her in the middle of the night. I dont believe he ever shared a single emotion that she had – jordo does not have the capacity for emotions if she thinks in 2 weeks she has found some all-saving love. Every man should run from her and every mother should keep her kids away from this woman. Here she goes again, by the way, exposing this guy online and trying to put him in his place for perceived burns, just like a Donk.

    • Hijacking the evening of four others because someone must bear witness to [JORDACTED’S] drama leaves me a bit prickly— why does she think that is okay, I wonder? I didn’t gather that there was a dad around, so maybe breakups are a sad reminder in their household? She seems like such an emotional vampire at this point, changing the channel to THE ALL [JORDACTED] ALL THE TIME show wherever she goes, whenever she wants.Stick to your scheduled therapy, Squallbaby; forcing others to hear it for free makes you all the more a time bandit.

  8. Also –
    when I see Jordo’s face the Britney Spears song “Crazy” comes to my mind.
    “Crazy, I’m in too deep. I’m so excited. I just can’t wait.”
    CRAZY is right and I’m picturing Jrodo going full shaved head with a steel pipe on something fierce to get her emotions out – as if we all dont already see them!!!!!

  9. According to blogsnark on Reddit, the dude who dumped Jordumb gave a Tedx talk on the secrets of making marriage work (this revealed by a Jordan friend in a comment on her Instagram).

    Which, holy hell.

    She needs to buck up and get her shit together. She has two children she needs to be there for. This is embarrassing beyond words.

    • It doesn’t get more cutting edge and prestigious than a TEDx talk. I believe a TEDx talk is Faith Shorney’s main claim to fame. One of our cats gave one and the phone has not stopped ringing.

    • The guy not only has photos of his little kids semi-naked on his FB, but the kids also have THEIR OWN FACEBOOK PAGES. And the older kid, who looks about 4-5, is a Baby at Church of Scientology on “his” page, and has check-ins displayed. WTF????

      Combined with the creepo’s “I built the largest video network for alternative GEN Z females” and the fact that he’s a “marriage and family therapist”, and there’s a LOT of red flags here.

      Perhaps I’m being oversensitive because of the stomach-churning Jeffrey Epstein stuff in the news lately, but did Jordo not find all this stuff at least a LITTLE BIT alarming?

      These people probably deserved each other, but the kids don’t. FFS.

      • No man that age should be any where near Gen Z females!! Big, huge red flag. Sick.

        I don’t want to know what a video network is given other news of R. Kelly’s special video collection.

        • I’ve had time today as I’m huddled up with a head cold, so I’ve been investigating this guy as Jordo would have SURELY done as a single mother, when they first met.

          His kids’ FB pages? Not cool, but some parents are just ignorant. OK, he’s in his mid 40s and works in online media and should know better but…

          The Gen Z “females” (wtf?) video network he produced and creative-directed – OK, a bit creepy, but he works in media / branding etc etc, so…kinda whatevs.

          His “MS in Marriage and Family Therapy” from a private university that only seems to offer MAs in this field, online and with no GRE required? OK, this is getting a bit dodgy. Is Jason really on the up-and-up?

          His rambling TedX talk about staying married, in which he openly admits to being almost divorced, still living with his almost-ex, and being unemployed? And the talk centers around how it wasn’t some inherent problem in the relationship but a “larger behavioral pattern tied to how we manage our time”, and then he rambles on about how he suddenly found all this time to go on holiday and pursue his personal development once he was getting divorced? But he’s still living with his wife and kids? Seriously, is this fucker for real?

          All this shit put together contains more red flags than Google Maps throws up when I type “sports bars near me” in my university-adjacent neighborhood.

          If Jordo couldn’t piece this together and balk at having this creep around her kids, LONG before he dumped her, then she deserves what she gets.

          • I spent a few minutes trying to figure out what it is that Jason actually does for a living and nada. Did the ex-wife make the money while he got degrees from faux universities and created social media opportunities for adolescent girls? This is creeping me out to no end.

          • His wife has a typical woo-y practice of sorts. I didn’t want to link here because I don’t think she needs to be part of Jordo’s bs.

          • I think it’s ok if we quote her spiel:

            “I am a transformational life coach known for being a “change agent” for my clients – empowering them to become masters at manifesting the life, businesses and relationships they’ve always dreamed of. My work has helped thought leaders, celebrities and influencers – along with their companies and brands – bloom into the best versions of themselves. With extensive training from a variety of sources including the Life Coach Institute, the Hoffman Institute, the Chopra Center, and Intrinsic Health Series – combined with my background in brand marketing and development for Fortune 500 companies – I provide my clients with a unique blend of pragmatic, spiritual and transformational tools to positively change both their personal and professional lives.”

            I just threw up in my mouth.

      • a man organizing a network for teenaged “females” is a huge red flag. he sounds awful.

    • Nope. Fail. Is there a second? Maybe J can pass that.

      Hey basement ladies and gents: how mature and responsible does Jord make Donk look given Donk never made the choice to do any of her shizzle when she had kids to raise. And, for that matter, never had any kids (yet). It’s almost like good on Donk for doing that right.

    • If she was willing to date this creep – who in greg’s name checks their 5 year old into the Church of Scientology on the kid’s FB page? – this narcissist has no interest in making her kids the #1 priority.

  10. She really is messy, some comments she wrote on her post in the last few hours:
    jordanreid Mod Lauren Larkin • 5 hours ago
    Thank you, Lauren. He and I have been speaking the last couple of days, and spent a few minutes talking in person yesterday. He has read this post, of course. And I have been explaining in no uncertain terms exactly how and why the way he treated me was an unacceptable way to treat another human being, and exactly how and why what he did amounted to – and I don’t use this word lightly – brutality. I wouldn’t say I feel *better*, but being heard: it does help.”

    jordanreid Mod Noelle C • 2 hours ago
    Yes. I have also been in touch with a woman he dated just before me – who read this post and reached out – and who is a lovely, sweet, accomplished woman with a very, very, very similar story. Because of course. And the fact that she cared enough to reach out to me – and that I was able to support her and validate her feelings in return, so we were both able to feel less at sea – it just…it shifted my perspective. Women are so fucking wonderful. And bad men do not get to tell our stories for us.”

  11. Jordo’s crazy gave him permission to act out his own crazy on her.
    Jorts really needs to take it all down a notch and focus on the basics, like keeping her house clean (figuratively and literally), feeding her kids and working out a more practical child custody situation.
    Dating is for when you have your sh!t together, in my opinion.

  12. She needs to talk to her therapist about her raging codependency issues, and I say this as someone who has dealt with codependency in the past. Rushing into relationships, wanting to skip ahead, falling in love without knowing the person are all huge red flags for codependent relationships. I’m not saying that love at first sight / site / cite or whatever doesn’t happen, I know it does, but it doesn’t happen EVERY TIME.

  13. And now she’s shilling once again for Red Baron pizza, complete with pictures of her kids. I wonder if her friend Margo agreed to be used for a paid post?

    • Yep! I’m updating the most recent Jordo post with the Red Baron Cardboard shill. Brutalized and destroyed but what a trouper!

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