“Utterly Destroyed”: Inauthentic Jordan Reid Suffers For The Ages

Nope, sister, not even close.

Thuch a tease! Of course, Jordo posted a picture of herself and the kids alongside the latest plea for page views. Certainly KC, the new beau she met on Tindr (Jordo posted a 24-hour IG picture in which she winks at us while pointing to a sweater containing the intials “KC” inside a heart – subtle), hasn’t caused a crisis in the massage chair? Has Kendrick’s attorney finally called her out on the non-stop bullshit? We could ask BFF Franchesca, but she’s too busy posting selfies.

40 COMMENTS

  1. Can none of these people close their Gregdamn mouths? Either literally or metaphorically?

    • If she cared about these kids so gregdamn much, she’d stop bellowing about custody concerns and her husband’s parenting skills. I hope Kendrick’s attorney puts a muzzle on her.

        • But Bethenny Frankel has nearly died 3 times now!!!! I mean, once her implantable birth control device caused her to bleed “down there”, and after she took it out, as a result she bled for two more weeks, as ANYONE would who removed a device feeding hormones into her body; and she’s just so close to her daughter that her daughter was in the BR with her and happened to tell others that “Mommy bleeds when she pees.” What an insane lunatic!! This story line resulted in her running around on tv to doctors seeing about having all her lady parts removed because she was near death!! I won’t go into her ridiculous food issues and near death experiences resulting therefrom.

          It’s what Misadvised would have become had MisAdvised lasted more than 1 season!!!! Too bad Donk never came up with a brand and sold something like Frankel did – I can picture Donk doing the same thing for condoms that Frankel did for liquor. On brand.

          • Donk has never been able to embrace her inner lunatic in a way that would net the big bucks because she wants everyone to like her. Or so she’s claimed in various interviews over the years.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            She also could never embrace being the villain – the one everyone loves to hate. Her persistent delusion is that she’d have to be the “reality” character that men all want to be with and women all want to be.

  2. I have no idea who the f Francesca is but holy cow that is quite the deployment of “myspace angle” to try and sharper her jawline.

    • I’m not sure I understand what Franchesca’s shtick is, but Jordo references this loon constantly. “My friend Franchesca … ” “I was talking with Franchesca … ” “Franchesca also does handstands on the beach in Malibu.” Etc., etc., etc.

    • She’s an actor (guest shot on Monk! some horror movies you haven’t seen!) and singer. So, to be fair, someone who actually has business reasons for taking a photo like that.

      • She’s amassed a whopping five IMDb credits in the last 13 years, which include “Franchesca Ramone” in a video short about a closeted gay teen wreaking havoc and “Lovely Executive” in Jennifer Lynch’s repellent CHAINED.

        THIS IS SUCCESS!!

          • i hadn’t seen this before, Gilly. thanks for sharing because it made me chortle until my tummy hurt a little.

          • You’re most welcome. I roared the first time I saw it. “Jared, why does Godson need to spend the night?”

        • “People are just going to fast-forward through your part anyway, so it doesn’t matter.” Hahaha

  3. Thing is with Jordan EVERYTHING is a crisis. She can’t make one trip with her kids without some small thing becoming a huge deal that necessitates yet another epiphany about “what’s really important”. She has to learn that at least seven times a year because she can’t adult for shit. While I don’t doubt her divorce was a crisis and the move was stressful (as they always are) she conflates that sort of stuff with her inability to get it together long enough to get her kids passports for a planned trip to Mexico. She’s the little girl who cried crisis.

  4. I know almost nothing about her, but I wonder why she didn’t try to land another acting job after that other one fell through? Maybe that would be even easier she is back in LA now?

    • I have two close friends who are actors living in L.A. The one has been very successful, even landing a recurring role in a popular sitcom a few years back, but both are constantly pounding the pavement, going to auditions.

      Jordan Reid has been sampling products, photographing herself and her kids non-stop, and crying for the ages on her lifestyle blog. She hasn’t really worked in years – did she ever? – and auditioning for acting jobs involves a lot of rejection. She wouldn’t survive an afternoon.

      • JFAing to add that the acting job that fell through involved a video she made with her then-boyfriend, which was cautiously, amazingly picked up as a series by F/X. It’s not as if she has ever been a serious actor.

  5. I will never understand why people post cryptic stuff like this on social media. I have a few friends who do it. What’s the point if you’re not going to explain what happened? You know people are going to ask. I wonder if Kenny has a new girlfriend or something.

    • It’s strategic, at least for bloggers it is. It’s Storytelling 101, Keep ‘Em On the Hook. She’s making her life into a soap opera to generate interest and that involves cliffhangers like this to keep her readership engaged and leaving comments on her blog.

  6. Jordon also posted on her Insta stories sitting in her car, blasting Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” while zooming in on her upset daughter. I’m guessing dumped and or custody problems.

  7. My guess – her ex-husband is engaged or seriously involved with someone new. A la Chris Pratt.
    And probably someone who is not at all “ramshackle” but reasonably normal.

    • Lucky Kendrick. I hope she’s a brunette with a solid career that doesn’t involve turning his kids into frozen pizza pushers.

  8. Her daughter, as in many of the videos Jordan posts, does not want to be recorded by mommy’s ubiquitous lens. It disgusts me that she repeatedly disrespects her children like this. Just be their mom! Stop forcing them to perform for your online reality show! It is legit scary that her small children are more mature than she is.

    • Yep, not cool to force your kids into your rattled emotional space while they help you push your brand. I hope they sue Jordan’s bony ass when they come of age.

  9. I don’t get how Glambo could be so emotionally immature.

    She is her 30s, has gone through a divorce and, I would think, a few relationships before that.

    She has an RBD-verified Psych degree from that rather famous school in Massachusetts, and still, she acts like a teenager that just fell heads-over-heels in love with the prom king.

    Is she chasing a repeat of the 6-weeks-to-engagement thing she had with Kendrick?

    Or is she just hopelessly clueless?

        • True. I used to employ Michael Jackson as my go-to example of emotional immaturity but, yeah, had to get rid of that one.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            He was also abusive to children, just in a different way

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