Big Phony: Cryface Jordan Reid’s Therapist Finds Her Client “Least Authentic” Human Being On The Planet

Take it away, Jordo!

A few weeks ago, my therapist said to me something that left me reeling. Jordan, she said, I have known you for years. And you are one of the least authentic people I have ever met.

How’s that for a compliment?

I protested, of course. But…I’m open for a living! I said to her. I write about my life as my job!

Sure, she said. But there is a difference between openness and authenticity. You speak about your emotions, but I’ve never seen you actually feel them. You perform them. And then you smile and put them away.

…Oh.

I do truth-tell for a living, and it’s as weird of a job as it seems. But it’s also less scary than it seems, because I package these truths neatly. I present them in bite-sized pieces that are digestible in seven minutes or so; twelve if I’m feeling verbose. I’m doing it now; I’ve already jotted down notes about where I want this post to go, and what I want it to mean.

I write about airplane crashes while I think I’m in the middle of one. I use the page to make sense of the moment. I wrap up the story. I hit publish. And I send my feelings away into the world, along with my words.

When writing about my life this past year – the “personal” posts, if you will – I’ve written almost exclusively about divorce, and only about those parts of the divorce I feel I’m entitled to write about (my personal experience, basically, so I don’t compromise anyone’s privacy but my own). But that hasn’t been all that’s gone on.

This year has been full of sickness. Death. The kinds of fears about the future that bring us all to our knees. I am in pain, when I allow myself to be.

I don’t write about these things because (most importantly) they don’t feel like mine to write about, but also because I don’t know how. There are no neat ways to package such stories, and if I’m going to put myself through the agony of feeling these particular feelings, I’d really like to be able to send them away when I’m done with them. Hit “publish.” Get them out. Make them go.

But I can’t, and so I don’t, and so they stay where they are: hidden.

You are not authentic.

I am not.

I’m in love, have I told you that? Of course I haven’t, but I’d bet a lot of you have guessed based on my constant glowy-faced, opaquely-worded Instagram stories (“life is beautiful!” and such).

But I am. In love. Truly, madly, deeply, reciprocally, the whole thing. In a way I didn’t think was possible for adults who “know better,” and a way that I certainly didn’t think was possible for me.

There’s another story that I cannot wrap up with a bow, and so cannot bring myself to talk about. I don’t know where it goes; I don’t know what it means; and as far as I can tell it doesn’t have an ending.

I began with my therapist, so with her is where I’ll end (packaging!). She was asking me about how I got started blogging, and I told her the five-minute version – meeting Julia Allison at a party, the NonSociety girls asking me to come on board with their “lifecasting” concept.

How did they pick you? she asked. Like, what was the application process for that kind of thing?

Oh, I said, they told me to put together a few posts, figure out who my ‘character’ would be. I was the Domestic Goddess. I put together a binder with a bio, suggested posts, potential partnership concepts. You know. I laughed. My therapist did not.

So…wait, she said. You made…a binder…of your…character?

I did. And then I got the job. And I’m doing it still.

It’s not that the posts I wrote way back then – or the posts I’ve written on this site ever since – weren’t true. They were, and they are. But they’re also just pieces of a much bigger, much more complicated, and much less palatable story: The story of a person who doesn’t fit inside a binder, and never did.

I lied; I said I was ending with my therapist, but there’s one more thing I want to tell you. The other night I was with my boyfriend (which feels like a silly word, but what can you do?) at his apartment, and I started crying. For no apparent reason, which is an embarrassing reason to cry in front of someone relatively new to your life. You don’t want to look crazy, you know. You want to stay in your binder.

I felt myself start to pull back the tears. Start to flutter my hands at my face to dry it; start to laugh; start to apologize. Fix my makeup. Distract. But even in the middle of all those tears, I remembered what my therapist said, and so I didn’t do any of those things.

Instead, I cried for way too long, and way too hard. At some point, it felt like something deep inside my chest cracked open, and let out waves of poison that couldn’t stay in my body for one moment longer, or I’d die.

He held me, and eventually I stopped. I didn’t apologize. Or try to explain. I just stopped, because I was done.

And do you know what he said to me then?

Thank you.

No, thank you, Jordo! Of course, Julia Allison Baugher is totally to blame for your creating a character in an attempt to avoid “authenticity.” Christ, lady, you’re even more navel gazing and annoying than most of the woos. Have you experienced one single moment in the last several years that you didn’t try to monetize?

93 COMMENTS

  1. Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

    The boyfriend probably said “thank you” at the end of her self-obsessed caterwauling and sobbing because he was just glad it was over

    • Who do you think you are! Surely Jordan’s real estate agent boyfriend wept until his chest cracked open and the poison seeped from his body.

        • Indeed! Boyfriend #2, who wined and dined and told Jordo he loved her in record time, has healed all her emotional problems … until next week.

      • I suspect she met some guy–maybe this very boyfriend–on one of her trips to LA while still married to Kendrick. Hence the really unmanageable move 6 hours away from where Kendrick and all the problems that causes for the kids. That part makes no sense unless there was someone else–or the hope of someone else involved.

          • JFA to add, she said in a recent post that real estate guy and her broke up.

          • She appears to have fallen in love AGAIN – “truly, madly, deeply” – in record time.

          • which is crazy! because wasnt she with the malibu guy as recently as 3 months ago? it was a spring break trip to mexico that didnt happen b/c she didnt have her shit together

            and wasnt her birthday post FULL OF PUBLIC TEARS because no one made her a cake? and she was all aloooooooone (except for her friends and children) at 38? wasnt that also fairly recent?

  2. This poor woman is the most emotionally stunted person ever to grace these blog pages. And that’s saying a lot.

    • I was talking with an RBDer who follows Jordo and she finds her to be far worse than Donkey, mostly because Jordo drags her children through these emotional minefields.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        If (shudder to even think about it) Donkey ever reproduced, she’d be just as awful. Monetizing your children is a shitty thing to do

      • I think it’s unfortunately that her kids have to see this stuff but, then again, a lot of kids have to navigate their parents divorces, moving, etc.

        I can’t really subscribe to her being worse than JA is. She’s not mean and spiteful. She doesn’t actively set out to hurt people or steal what someone else has got. Jordan is emotionally immature, insecure and clueless. To me, there is a difference.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Jordo’s kids are put on public display. When they’re older and their friends find the videos, it probably won’t go well for them.

          True, she’s not actively trying to screw over people, but she is excessively selfish and narcissistic.

        • and I’ve never seen her scamming anyone out of money. I also think, on the scale of bloggers who incorporate their kids, that she does so in a RELATIVELY benign way (I said relatively!). I could see them growing up and getting sad and angry about the divorce stuff that is online, but from what I’ve seen, the stuff she posts with the kids could be about any kids. Like, they played, they cried, they got sick, they got stuck in airport.

          I think it is worse when kids are older and people post about struggles with bullies, puberty, etc. So I guess we will see how it goes.

          I hope she puts money away for them from sponcon they are in. She did some childhood acting or modeling and seems close t her parents so I bet they handled her money from that properly and I’d like to think she learned from that?

          All that said, I’m sure her therapist is right, and the binder thing is chilling. Jordan does a thing that I find weirdly interesting and SUPER annoying: she’ll go along for a while all la-la-la we are soooo happy, and comments/replies will consistently give feedback that she does not seem ok. She seems like she is about to crack, everything feels weirdly faked. She ignores it all and then! She writes a post framed as, “this will surprise my readers because I only show you guys the faked perfection and you all think things are great but actually (exact thing everyone has been saying).”

          • I refuse to give her a pass on the kids. She’s constantly exploiting them, even in frozen pizza ads, as part of her fucked-up Malibu brand and they no doubt play an important role in terms of sponsorship.

          • OK, I’ve been hearing about this person here (and years before, on GOMI), now and then, for a long time, but like with most other characters who are not our Ol’ Donk, I’m still not entirely sure who she is. But I have to say that based on what I’ve just read in this here post, she sounds absolutely insufferable to me. Not to the Donkey pathological extent, of course, but definitely insufferable.

            I’m sure I’m not really getting it, but the binder thing doesn’t sound chilling to me at all. No one forced her to make a binder of her “character” as opposed to doing some kind of work that would not require that, and there are MANY types of work like that.

            To me the bottom line here is “I want to talk about myself and get compliments and money for it. Poor me.” Yeah, poor you for real, but there’s nothing adorable about it at all. In my not really informed opinion, of course.

          • Helena, for the record, Jordan Reid, then Berkow (and apparently now Berkow again), a Harvard grad and wannabe actress with a musician boyfriend fiancée, met Julia Allison at a party in 2009. She began blogging on Julia’s website, NonSociety, and seemed to be the second replacement for Mary Rambin, Julia’s blond frenemy who appeared alongside Donkey and Meghan Asha on TMI Weekly, a web shitshow that aired in the back of taxicabs.

            Julia fawned all over Jordo and they were besties for a New York minute. However, the two had a falling out when Julia forced Jordan and Kendrick, now her husband, to fly to Aspen(?) on Julia’s then-boyfriend Prom King’s dime. Jordo and Kendrick got stuck there when he needed to be back in NY for work. That was the end of the friendship, and Julia allegedly stole into Jordo and Kendrick’s apartment when no one was home and stole Jordo’s tiara.

            RBDers, please feel free to expand or make any corrections here. I didn’t fact check anything above.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Excellent recap, Aunt Gilly! (And I hear this in Dorothy Kilgallen’s voice.) The only thing is that I *think* Jordo and Kendrick were already married when she met Donk

          • Are you sure? I cataloged the 2009 and 2010 entries and seem to remember they were married very shortly after Jordo met Donk. But I could be wrong here.

          • JFAing myself here. I think some of those posts involved Jordo blithering on about their engagement, the ring, etc., that had all happened prior to her signing on with NonSociety.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Could be. But Jordo and Kendrick had a whirlwind romance that went from meeting to marriage in a spectacularly short period of time. Maybe six weeks? I don’t remember anything about Donkey attending the wedding and I seem to recall that Jordo was already married when she started at NonSociety. She was supposed to be the hipster Martha Stewart, or some tired bullshit like that

          • @Helena: A true appreciation of “Jordan Reid Berkow Strauch Question Mark” probably requires one to have been present from the beginning.

            The thing about “Jordan” is that there is no actual Jordan, there is only whatever mask she thinks sponsors want at the moment. Also, “Domestic Goddess” was the most laughable binder she could have handed in. She pigeon-holed herself that way purely because she was The Married One.

            If she ever took some time [privately] to write that stuff she’s suppressing, she might accidentally find out who she really is and she’s afraid she wouldn’t like the answer.

            I write about fountain pens, surviving assault, “vintage” ways to be environmentally friendly, and being a woman with ADHD. Nobody thinks that’s my whole personality because I never present myself as a binder.

        • Also, Dusty, what you say in your last paragraph actually reminds me of Donk something awful. “I know all the time you guys thought my life was perfect, what with my supremely curated fauxtoshoots and all, but, and I know this will shock you, actually I was miserable and sobbing through arabesques in my typically endearing fashion….” And the basement is all “no worries bunny, we never thought your life was anything close to perfect, trust.”

          My understanding of this phenomenon is that these dumb-dumbs are simply nowhere near as good in pretending to be perfect and making everyone super jealous (remember that?) as they imagine in their simple minds. Maybe their act works on some fellow numbskulls, but certainly not on anyone who is sad and obese and angry and lives with hundreds of cats. If you know what I mean. Wink emoticon.

          • Jordan often posts Instagram stories with her children, usually her daughter, staring into the phone saying things like: “Who are you talking to Mom? Why are you filming?” It’s obvious her kids would love nothing more than for her to put down the phone. She also talks about how Kendrick is the “fun” parent because she doesn’t know how to entertain them. I just personally think it’s obvious they want her to more engaged with her in real life…not just for content.

          • This. Re: parenting, I tell myself each morning to always be present for my kids and she seems to be off in the ozone much of the time: bawling, looking at herself in the mirror, overly invested in phone conversations. The kids often seem like advertising props.

  3. I used to like Jordan but, I so totally don’t understand here. She was devastated when she asked for separation and divorce (talked about how sad it was that Kendrick didn’t love HER anymore after she trhew him to the curb) and now she’s on her second boyfriend she’s in love with? She hasn’t even been divorced a year.

    I mean, I met my now husband within a year too but, man, she just seems so frenetic to me. She moves to LA, dates two different guys and spends post after post talking about how hard divorce is. This is what you asked for, Jordan! When I asked for a divorce and got one, the marriage was already long over and I was happy that my first husband agreed.

    • This. Jordo is quite likable in those RBNS 2009 posts, but I find her insufferable 10 years later. Emotionally erratic, constantly posing, pimping out her kids for page views, hawking everything from frozen pizza to jedi jewelry – this is how she wants to live her life? Tacky is the first word that comes to mind.

      • Totally agree! These days she’s sort of like a Failure to Launch girl-woman who is still stuck at thinking she’s age 25-27 forever. Her trainwreck is kind of glorious to watch in the way it’s so sad, HOWEVER the fact that she dragged her kids 6 hours away from their father to chase the same she feels “robbed” of after they passed on her from It’s Always Sunny is reprehensible.

    • Keep in mind that she got engaged to Kendrick after six weeks of dating. So she probably thinks that’s how it’s supposed to work. A mature, adult relationship couldn’t possibly compete with her delusions of what love is supposed to be like.

      • Now that sounds Donkey-esque! Those two shared more than a shitty, horizontal-scrolling website.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Donkey wanted to be her. OMGIvy degree, hot hubby who was in a band, cute’n’tiny

          • There are some funny 2009 posts involving Julia trying to upstate Jordo, as well as some kiddie musicians, during one of Kendrick’s loft shows.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            Didn’t she start wearing that ridiculous romper (looked like she had a diaper on underneath, especially in that unintentionally hilarious squatting pic) because of Jordo?

      • Whoa, it’s actually worse than having a whirlwind courtship and getting engaged in six weeks. Jordan is plain delusional: She knew she was going to marry Kendrick before she even met him. Jordan, if you are reading here, get help. It is not normal to be your age, with kids, and still nursing these delusions. You are going to end up like Pamela Anderson.

        “One of the guys from the band messaged me, and we started emailing. I read one of the emails to my mom, and she said, ‘You’re going to marry him.’ ‘I know,’ I said.”

        https://observer.com/2018/02/valentines-day-2018-romantic-meet-cute-stories/

  4. So close to consciousness, and yet so far, it is truly fascinating/astounding/shocking/sadz.

  5. Of course, in the new home, she has gravitated towards “Francesca”, if that is her real name, who is also an attention whore / blogger, who would do anything for clicks.

    The therapist nailed it when she said that Glambo “performs” her feelings, instead of… well… feeling them.

    • She lives to perform, Wolf. Did you know Jordan was nearly a big television star until horrid Rob McElhenney dumped her bony ass for a woman who could actually act and was genuinely funny? Well, did you? Jordan has NEVER written about it.

        • OH MY GOD.

          𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒. 𝐹𝓁𝑜𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝒹𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒶𝓃 𝐼𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒪𝓇𝒷. 𝒮𝓅𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝑜𝓃 𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝑜𝓇𝒷. 𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓌𝑒’𝓇𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎.

          • I’ve never seen such twee navel-gazing by a woman in her late 30’s 40’s. Her Instagram is … yeah.

          • These mouthbreathers keep leaving totally inappropriate responses, e.g., Does your no panties photo come poster sized?

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          She looks like a wannabe porn actress

    • I never had much of a problem with her friend Francesca. She’s single and an aspiring singer. I don’t know how she makes her money or how curated her IG is–maybe she’s more “professional” than aspiring. But she’s like, whatever, not my type but not offensive.

      But there’s a weird SWF vibe to Jordan’s relationship to her, especially in posts like, “I was talking to MY FRIEND FRANCESCA and let me tell you what MY FRIEND FRANCESCA SAID and oh boy I spent the weekend with MY FRIEND FRANCESCA.”

      There’s always a “grass is greener” situation when you have kids and you see your single friends still living the life of sleeping late and brunches, but I think Jordan’s been having trouble for a long time transitioning into the beginning of middle age, especially when you thought your life by now was going to be something different, like (I’m guessing but am probably not too inaccurate) being the cool/glamorous wife/mom with a rock star husband who also has the ability to pursue creative interests and become a lifestyle influencer because of the free time afforded by said rock star.

      • Also the resentment of getting dumped prior to the official IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA pilot – she was in the $15 sketch of the series that former boyfriend Rob McElhenney and Glenn Howerton pitched to FX. The series is now in its 14th season and the four original cast members have gone on to do good work on TV and the big screen while Jordo is taking selfies.

  6. I don’t think she realizes, in that hardcore gut check way that a lot of us eventually have if we really want to get healthier emotionally, how she is her own worst enemy. The problem with Jordan is that she doesn’t know herself any more than her therapist knows her. She flits from thing to thing thinking that is going to be the thing that makes her happy and then she has a meltdown when she finds out it’s not. She’s not just performing for her therapist or her readers, she is performing for herself. She contradicts herself constantly and then gets annoyed with others when they point it out. She tries to package it up in this “aren’t I an adorable mess” schtick. Which I was more tolerant and accepting of 10 years ago. But, she’s now pushing 40 with two kids and a broken marriage behind her.

    For instance, you cannot write about your emotional meltdown over paying for school uniforms, such that the school principal took pity on you and found used, donated uniforms to help you out financially and then explain how you absolutely could not function in a house without a pool. And then, when people call you out on that, get defensive and say that it’s misogynistic to do so because, darn it, she works and nobody would never ask a man to explain those inconsistencies (for the record, I have and I would).

    Or, she intimates that at least one of the reasons why she was displeased with Kendrick was because she felt she not only worked, but did 75% of everything in the home and that no amount of discussion about it got him to be better about sharing the burden. But, wait, Jordan. You have also written extensively about the fact that you are very particular and you wanted your house your way. From design to home improvement to children’s schedules, to their activities. And that, when Kendrick would try to insert himself, he kind of never did it to your liking. So, then, that’s the way it goes right? You can’t request total control, have the attitude that what your partner does isn’t good enough, and then expect your partner to just kind of give up and let you handle things.

    You can’t decide together that he should go away to Yale for a couple of years because him getting his degree would be financially beneficial for your family’s future, (and I’m not saying it wouldn’t be super hard to be in her position as the only caregiver, just that they decided TOGETHER that is what would be best), and then be angry and resentful of him when he actually went.

    I mean, I don’t know Kendrick. Maybe he is a real twat but, it never seemed so. He always seemed to be an involved partner and parent who loved her and their kids.

    At the end of the day, I feel like Kendrick just sort of bumbled around trying to do what he thought was best for her and him and their kids and, no matter what he did, it didn’t work for her. She gave him the old “let’s separate” in order to goad him in to making some grand gesture to show his love for her and he just went “Meh, ok. If that’s what you want, I’m kinda over it too.”

    And Jordan will repeat this pattern over and over until she puts a moratorium on moving, buying new things, meeting various men and figures out who she is and what she truly wants.

      • You’re completely correct. She is constantly contradicting herself and if someone asks for any clarification she gets really bitter and defensive. I’ve noticed over the last few years she yo yo’s all the time. Spouting how great things are one day, and then having a completely fucking melt down the next. Like her recent birthday bullshit..I just can’t with her.

        • The birthday meltdown was horrifying. How are you going to cry to people who went with you out to your birthday dinner, to celebrate YOU, that you are alone and crying because nobody baked you a cake?

          Also, if you are breaking down out of nowhere this much for “no reason” – and she again says she did it with her new boyfriend for – then the reason is you are clinically depressed and probably need to get yourself on some medication to help you through it.

          • Exactly. But she keeps vacillating between telling people how happy she is and then freaking out. There is a lot going on here.

          • I’ve thought she needed meds for some time, particularly since Jordo seems to cry at the drop of a hat.

            I cannot imagine living with a micromanaging drama queen 24/7/365. She must exhaust herself.

          • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

            And what are her children learning from her constant meltdowns and drastic mood swings?

  7. I was hoping this thread would be here.

    My theory is that Jordan met Malibu Kenny when she was suffering from doldrums and unnavigable baggage and then rolled the dice, expecting some action and a little spice, whichever way it played out. Either original Kenny would have made a grand gesture (like lickedrandiscake already pointed out) or she would blow up her life (her words) and follow her heart to SoCal.

    When the Malibu fires happened (shortly after her SoCal arrival), her son draw a map of the fires and labeled Malibu with “friends.” Jordan doesn’t have any other friends in Malibu–if she did, she would have bragged on them like she does everyone else. So this guy has been in the picture since before Day 1, and her kids were introduced to him almost immediately. Girl moves fast.

    When she said things took an unexpectedly ugly turn with Kendrick w/r/t divorce proceedings, I am guessing he went into her computer / phone / etc. and documented her affair with Malibu Kenny, using that information to his legal advantage. He may be the nicest guy on earth but he is also not a complete idiot. If another woman was in the picture, Jordan would have found a way to slip it into her narrative. Like many bloggers, she only “protects others privacy” when she’s concerned about controlling her own image.

    I am not at all surprised that she believes she has found real love. When you’re one of the least authentic persons your therapist has ever known, you’re also the least self-aware.

    Either Jordan needs to find a more effective therapist or she has such a severe personality disorder that therapy is just not going to work for her. I have been following her from the NS days and I see someone who is relying on patterns that used to work for her and keep her safe but are no longer serving her. It’s that simple. Also she may have an adjustment disorder, which would contribute to her crippling codependency and need for external validation. The ironic twist though is that she’s constantly creating change and upheaval bc the constant chaos is more familiar and comforting to her than a shift into the unfamiliar territory of stability and health.

    If she wants to feel better on a deeper level and not be riding this rollercoaster in which she’s crying in restaurants with near-strangers on her birthday, then she needs to recognize that the obligations of being an Internet personality feeds into her ill health, hang it up, and then devote herself to forming new patterns that allow her to live authentically and with a true sense of agency. I don’t see that happening anytime soon though.

    • Yes! Finally someone else who shares my same theory! I have been an OG RBD reader and has only now been brought to comment. I’m on board with what you have said 100%

    • I agree- as another OG observer also Id say Jordan swings between grandiose and collapsed like a classic narcissist- and performs her persona and uses her children as props the same way. Its very familiar to me: My very beautiful and controlling mom married my dad after 8 weeks, they had a bad divorce, she used us as props and thought each new guy would save her with lots of tears and anguish ( and emotional and physical child abuse and neglect yay) when it inevitably didn’t work. It was maybe excusable to have untreated NPD in 19 ‘fing 75 but with all the info Jordan has at her disposal in 2019 its really not OK to run your kids through the volatile scary narcissistic post divorce freakout wringer. I really feel for her poor kids they didn’t ask for this and its super messed up.

  8. A little over a year ago she was trying to have another baby with Kenny and now she’s on Post Divorce Boyfriend #2. She needs to learn how to define herself without a man before she can even be close to authentic, figure out why she can’t be alone for more than a few days and then, maybe she can start to become a functioning adult.

    • Again, she and Judy have a lot more in common than just blogging alongside one another on a horizontal-scrolling website.

      • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

        Extreme narcissism. The need to be admired. Immature as hell. Should never (or never have) become a parent

  9. If you’re a Harvard alum you can access a database of every graduate from every school. I just checked; neither Jordan Reid nor Jordan Berkow is listed. She still might have attended – neither Mark Zuckerberg nor Matt Damon are listed either – but she didn’t graduate.

    FWIW.

    • plottwist! she has definitely talked a lot about studying cognitive neuroscience at harvard

      which people have dismissed as just being a fancy way to say “psych major” but at least at MIT cog neuroscience was was more rigorous than people were making her harvard major out to be

        • Reid is actually her middle name. Berkow is her original (maiden) last name and also post-divorce last name. Strauch is Kendrick’s last name and was hers too when they were married. (She took her maiden name back when they divorced.)

          • Reid is her middle name? HA HA HA! How very Julia Allison of her.

            Thanks for the clarification, Wang. The name situation was all very confusing.

  10. GASP!!! Julia Allison is holding wine?! How many sips did she take of that devil juice??!! (because the JA we all knew never drank. Except when she did. And then it was usually only 1.5 sips that she recorded. For years.)

    Meh, Jordan never bothered me too much compared to the rest of that NS crew; she was a breath of fresh air in the midst of all their usual label-whoring, founder-fawning and fameballing.
    Typical narcissistic boho blonde blogger type. Obviously can’t live without a man for less than five minutes. Her endless struggling actress/former Dee from “Always Sunny…” stories mildly amused me. I did always find her quickie-marriage to Kenny a bit suspect; that was a recipe for disaster. And then there was the animal collecting. Then the endless moves. Then the kids. Then the divorce drama. Half of which I think she brought on herself.

    Yeah, bitch be a big ol mess. She’s put pit a few random books here and there, but I don’t think the NYT Bestsellers List has much to worry about there. Nice to see that Harvard degree being put to such good use.

  11. Is that a commercial? Why is it such high production value compared to the woo drivel?

    I have a hard time hating on Jordacted for a really stupid reason. She’s so pretty. She puts me under a Regina George spell.

    • It’s like a commercial to me too… Like a very expensive endeavor on her part to make an unsolicited commercial for that jewelry company, taking a page from the playbook of a self-appointed cooby bra spokesdonkey? She seems Hell-bent on getting a role playing the part of something…

    • It’s a commercial for unchecked narcisstic mommyblogger disorder. See your doctor if you exhibit: using your children as props, emotionally manipulating everyone in your orbit, constantly being a victim, and inner rage that you aren’t more famous/have more money

    • Hahah!!! Lord Jesus, what glorious content it would be here to witness her desperate attempts to sink her claws into RVV again. Remember her hilariously name-dropping him in that TMI episode, and that she could *NEVER* ever,ever,everrrrr possibly be attracted to him and those two other internet famous dudes she mentioned, because they were JUST FRIENDS!!!! Okay, yeah…sure Jan.

      • Good times! The folks at College Humor eventually had to bar Donk from the premises because she’d show up all the time and try to stir up shit.

        • Unicorn Studded Rainbow Named Shirley - 1st Ever Commenter on the New Site! 🎉🎊🍾 (NOT Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely/Alexis Katz)

          Speaking of shit, didn’t Lilly shit all over the place every time Donk brought her?

  12. Jordan would benefit hugely from going to CODA (Codependents Anonymous) or SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) meetings and working those programs. (The S part doesn’t apply to everyone who needs and changes their behavior in those programs.) She’s a sick person who needs to get well.

    On some of her recent podcast appearances, she is much more open about her childhood than she is on her blog. Her parents meant well and no doubt love her. But they did not raise her the way kids need in order to feel secure in the world.

    Jordan is matter of fact, not accusatory or resentful, when she describes her upbringing. She does not seem to be blaming them for her issues. She does seem to know that she is an adult and this is her problem to solve. But she applies all the wrong bandages.

    A man isn’t her cure. Her kids aren’t her cure. Shopping isn’t her cure. Creating enviable homes isn’t her cure (and, well, she’s never been able to pull it off). She’s fortunate not to have sought a cure in drugs and alcohol. But she still needs treatment. She is addicted to seeking external solutions to internal anguish. It’s never going work.

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