Donkey Droppings & OMG! Randi’s Big Night

Has Donk completely abandoned HIVE? She LOVES to leave hearts and responses to those she’s sucking up to on Facebook, but our burro was crickets when Danielle Blum, one of Ryan Allis’s former girlfriends who was inexplicably given a top gig at HIVE, tagged her and only her in this recent post. Did something bad go down in Bradentucky?

In other Donk news, a reader pointed me towards unhinged Christine Kelly’s sad FB page:

Christine Kelly
7 June at 15:12 ·

One time I was on a double date w my BFF Julia Allison and Tucker Max, who is kind of a controversial human being but also a person I like a lot. He’s not really like the image the media, and his book, portrays of him. Now, anyways. He just ghostwrote the Tiffany Haddish book. He has his own imprint.

Anyway, he hated my date. Said date was a NYU filmmaker from LA who had won a big filmmaking contest and was making a movie for Netflix. (He actually ended up writing me into the film). Tucker is very into psychologically profiling people and figuring them out. Just psychology in general, I guess.

He shredded my date when he went to the bathroom, and was basically like, “you need an alpha male. This guy can’t handle you. He sucks. You grew up with a strong Mother who was head of the household, didn’t you?” and I was like, “no quite the opposite actually.”

Given that, I don’t quite know how I turned out the way I did. My best guess is it had something to do with my Grandparents in Florida, who I spent a lot of time with alone as a kid.

My Grandma LaVerne on my Moms side was super fierce, as well, and ruled the roost. You definitely did not fuck w LaVerne Koeppl. She was quite powerful at her workplace; everyone was scared of her. It was like the Godfather, all these people would line up to have a chance at facetime with her to get their products sold at her stands. (She ran all the government stands at the Wisconsin State Fair). Our very large family worked at all of them growing up.

They one time hired Jeffrey Dahmer, and my Aunt Geri, who has the best stories, has an amazing one about him. She got him arrested on trumped up charges after he came at her and tried to attack her. It checks out, I googled it.

Aunt Geri also babysat Tonya Harding during that whole Nancy Kerigan thing, bc her husband was a starter for the Olympics and her kids were all in speedskating. She said Tonya was by far the best skater, but was also kinda obnoxious. She flew w her to the Olympics on the plane when all that shit went down. I guess they got on a fight on the plane. Aunt Geri doesn’t put up w anyones shit. She probably told her to fuck off …

Oh, good greg. Kelly’s post goes on and on, as do many of her FB posts, and we never do get back to BFF(?) Donkey and Tucker Max, “controversial human being” who paid $1600 for a “good raping.” Unlike the mostly crickets on her 25-per-day posts, this walk down memory lane actually received seven likes.

Jack McCain’s lawyer, who needs to get off social media and get serious help, was also giving shout outs to Kanye West, Taylor Swift, and the ineffable Randi Zuckerberg:

SO PROUD! Sound familiar? Not sure what Kelly has to do with Zuckerberg’s Tony wins, but it is pretty cool that OMG! Randi produced both “Hadestown” and the “Oklahoma!” revival. Off to the awards ceremony:

OMG! Randi is at the :40 mark:

50 COMMENTS

  1. Jeezzus drugs are either bad or really, really needed in that Christine Kelly piece. I get stream of conscious and I also understand the need for an editor (that part I really, really get & need). People over the age of seven who have to qualify someone as a BFF, have security issues. (how’s that for psychological profiling?)
    If I had to give mess a title: Crippling Insecurity Should Get a Therapist & Off the Internet

    • Her FB page is extremely disturbing and the pop culture shout outs are more appropriate for a 14 year old or Donkey, circa 2010.

      • Her FB is some serious, serious mental illness… that said, she has been through a terrible trauma (you’ll have to read and see on your own though she’s very public about it). I wish her the best… I find her posts fascinating… because even though she’s been through so much, the excessive name dropping and narcissism are… constantly at the forefront. She goes on and on, multiple posts a day though no one is reading, or if they are, are not liking or commenting. I feel for her, she seems delusional and spiraling… I hope she finds peace.

        • I’m not familiar with her beyond this post.

          • Like Megan Alagna, AKA Lasagna, Christine Kelly was one of Donk’s henchwomen back in the day. She allegedly harassed an RBD lurker at work, calling the woman up and pretending to be Jack McCain’s lawyer. The woman, a Chicago paralegal, phoned Peter Baugher and told him to rein in his daughter.

          • Any word on what he did or said?

          • Obviously, he didn’t clamp down on his burro. Other than stopping her from having faux lawyers threaten critics

        • Kelly’s unhinged FB page reminds me of Ryan Swain’s equally disturbing social media presence, and I want to flee both of their pages ASAP because of the mental illness writ large.

          I’d be amazed if anyone even speaks to Kelly at this point. She attempts to involve innocent parties in her legal vendetta and the constant name dropping is Donkey on steroids. She needs to stop publicly wallowing in misery, get off the internet and get help.

        • I kind of wish I’d never read her page. It is seriously depressing. It sounds like she’s got her mom around her all the time which is probably good. In theory, anyway. She’s at a songwriting camp thing this weekend, which is something I’ve done before, and in my experience, these music camps are great but invariably seem to attract a small percentage of people with mental issues who end up disrupting the group. One woman at a similar event I was attending was convinced people’s cell phones were invading her brain and demanded no one use their phone in the same room. She was sleeping in her car because the guy in the upstairs apartment was allegedly running his microwave oven 24/7 so he could kill her.

          • Unfair for the rest of the group to have to be subjected to that

  2. I looked at the Hive GLS site, and Ryan, Donk (Public Relations for Purpose-Driven Companies ), Petey (Law for Purpose-Driven Companies ) and Jennifer R (Masculine & Feminine Leadership) are all listed as speakers. I skimmed the video and caught the music credit – music by Rain Phuckface. Oh, and they’re also offering a Cacao Ceremony!

    • You’re probably looking at the blurbs from 2018. Donk, Petey, and Jennifer are not listed as presenters or attendees this year, but Ryan did manage to snag Marianne Williamson, who is almost as illustrious as Mulia Mallison.

      http://www.hive.org/gls2019/

  3. I cannot stand people who use “anyways”

  4. “Tucker is very into psychologically profiling people”
    “at her workplace. . . everyone was scared of her”
    “my Aunt Geri . . . probably told her to fuck off”

    Everyone in the Donkiverse and everyone they associate with just sound like horrible people.

    • I couldn’t tell if Kelly thought it was a positive or a negative that her vulgar, aggressive, foul-mouthed relatives turned her into whatever it is that she is today.

  5. Why would A Donkey be at a “leadership” “summit”? She doesn’t lead anyone.
    Imagine being such a 6-year-old that you have to be the first person in the front row EVERY SINGLE TIME. And don’t forget to pop that left shoulder!

    • She is an international real-estate mogul.

      Haven’t you heard she once tried to sublet a house in Bali?

    • Oh come on! She got everyone to sing a song together that one time at Camp Grounded. While wearing her wedding dress. Talk about leadership.

    • How does she introduce herself at these carny shows? “Hi, I’m Rainbow, a former dancer for dirtbag DJs, a catalyst for love and a consultant to global leaders”?

      • I took a look at the 2019 HIVE roundup and noticed they have two emcees, neither of which is A Donkey.

        I am wondering if the former Ms. Bradentucky is going to use Donkey for her women’s Hive initiative, but not giving her any kind of visibility. Also, what’s with them posting the names and countries of all the people who have already signed up to attend? I hope they asked them permission first.

        • I tend to believe Julia bailed on HIVE and they are trying to bring her back into the fold, possibly for her alleged connections. But she’s now with Marson and presumably will abandon even the piecemeal work she’s been doing for the last several years. Never forget: The masculine always pays!

          • The question is, will she give up this whole Rainbow thing and abandon the Burning Man set. We know she shape-shifts to suit whatever suitor she has at any given time. I somehow don’t see Dodi as a Burning Man regular type, but we really don’t know much about him.

        • “Hi, I am Julia.

          I tried to be famous, but I failed.

          I have no skills or work ethic whatsoever.

          Now hear to what I have to say.”

          • “I’ve never had a business, nor been employed by a business. Let me tell you how to grow your business.”

            “I have never lived in an intentional community/co-housing, but I am an expert on intentional communities/co-housing.”

            “My personal brand is ‘delusional, washed-up joke’ or ‘whatever happened to Julia Allison?’… let me help you develop your personal brand!”

            “I am a social media expert! I have no website and I rarely post original content, except re-tweets and vacay pix of my boyfriend du jour. Hire me as your consultant!”

          • Ewww, I wanna play!

            ”I’ve never even met a global leader, much less ever been one, but I’llI tell you what to do next in case you become one! For the low low price of $2,399! And airfare! And lodging! And gluten-free pescachickenarian meals! TeeheeHAW!”

  6. At least Randi had the sense to move out of performing and into something she CAN do: put a lot of money into shows and bask in the glow of the actual talented people who do the hard work of writing, acting, choreographing and dancing. All things she cannot do.

    • Exactly. She truly loves the theater and is investing in smart, ambitious productions. Maybe she’ll be the next Irene Selznick. No snark.

      • Cosign. I definitely think this is a terrific avenue for her. The arts need money and it looks like she’s picking the right people to back. Good for her, seriously. And she looks good, too, with another baby on the way.

        • She does look great. That’s why make-up artists were invented, and whoever hers is has brought out her best features without making her look artificial. Good job.

    • I hope it money can’t buy her brother and his evil side-kick out of prison.

      • This is America.

        We don’t send rich people to prison, or hold them accountable in any meaningful way.

    • “Theater producer” has the right connotations for her contributions to society, IMO.

    • There isn’t enough Xanax in the world to make me forget Birthday Chicken. I have tried.

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