Has Donk completely abandoned HIVE? She LOVES to leave hearts and responses to those she’s sucking up to on Facebook, but our burro was crickets when Danielle Blum, one of Ryan Allis’s former girlfriends who was inexplicably given a top gig at HIVE, tagged her and only her in this recent post. Did something bad go down in Bradentucky?
In other Donk news, a reader pointed me towards unhinged Christine Kelly’s sad FB page:
7 June at 15:12 ·
One time I was on a double date w my BFF Julia Allison and Tucker Max, who is kind of a controversial human being but also a person I like a lot. He’s not really like the image the media, and his book, portrays of him. Now, anyways. He just ghostwrote the Tiffany Haddish book. He has his own imprint.
Anyway, he hated my date. Said date was a NYU filmmaker from LA who had won a big filmmaking contest and was making a movie for Netflix. (He actually ended up writing me into the film). Tucker is very into psychologically profiling people and figuring them out. Just psychology in general, I guess.
He shredded my date when he went to the bathroom, and was basically like, “you need an alpha male. This guy can’t handle you. He sucks. You grew up with a strong Mother who was head of the household, didn’t you?” and I was like, “no quite the opposite actually.”
Given that, I don’t quite know how I turned out the way I did. My best guess is it had something to do with my Grandparents in Florida, who I spent a lot of time with alone as a kid.
My Grandma LaVerne on my Moms side was super fierce, as well, and ruled the roost. You definitely did not fuck w LaVerne Koeppl. She was quite powerful at her workplace; everyone was scared of her. It was like the Godfather, all these people would line up to have a chance at facetime with her to get their products sold at her stands. (She ran all the government stands at the Wisconsin State Fair). Our very large family worked at all of them growing up.
They one time hired Jeffrey Dahmer, and my Aunt Geri, who has the best stories, has an amazing one about him. She got him arrested on trumped up charges after he came at her and tried to attack her. It checks out, I googled it.
Aunt Geri also babysat Tonya Harding during that whole Nancy Kerigan thing, bc her husband was a starter for the Olympics and her kids were all in speedskating. She said Tonya was by far the best skater, but was also kinda obnoxious. She flew w her to the Olympics on the plane when all that shit went down. I guess they got on a fight on the plane. Aunt Geri doesn’t put up w anyones shit. She probably told her to fuck off …
Oh, good greg. Kelly’s post goes on and on, as do many of her FB posts, and we never do get back to BFF(?) Donkey and Tucker Max, “controversial human being” who paid $1600 for a “good raping.” Unlike the mostly crickets on her 25-per-day posts, this walk down memory lane actually received seven likes.
Jack McCain’s lawyer, who needs to get off social media and get serious help, was also giving shout outs to Kanye West, Taylor Swift, and the ineffable Randi Zuckerberg:
SO PROUD! Sound familiar? Not sure what Kelly has to do with Zuckerberg’s Tony wins, but it is pretty cool that OMG! Randi produced both “Hadestown” and the “Oklahoma!” revival. Off to the awards ceremony:
OMG! Randi is at the :40 mark: