Kosher Judy & The Case Of The Disappearing (Potato) Pancake

Our burro is busy trying to bag another wallet. As such, she’s been scrubbing her past from the internets.

After trading on Yack McCain’s name for years – “we talked marriage” – he’s finally fading into the distance, at least for now. I clicked on the NonSociety picture below, from Judy’s 2010 New Year’s Eve party at the OMG! downtown condo …

… and discovered:

Buh bye, Yack. Maybe Dadsers will finally stop speaking about you as the one who got away. Now that this dapper wallet gent has captured Judy’s attention:

Is that Dr. Alex Marson? Has Judy traded in the memory of a Baptist beau for a new Jewish suitor? One with observant parents?

It’s time for a trip down memory lane with Journalith Judy!

JEWTOPIA: DATING WITHIN THE TRIBE
AM NEW YORK – “THE DATING LIFE”
JULY 31, 2006
BY JULIA ALLISON

THE BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE SPENT MUCH OF OUR DATING LIVES IN INTER-FAITH RELATIONSHIPS – HIM WITH A PREDILECTION FOR CATHOLICS, ME LEANING TOWARDS JEWS – SO IT SEEMED VERY APPROPRIATE TO TAKE HIM TO SEE “JEWTOPIA” FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY LAST WEEK.

WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY THE HYSTERICAL TEAM OF BRYAN FOGEL AND SAM WOLFSON, “JEWTOPIA,” IS A BRILLIANT OFF-BROADWAY COMEDIC PLAY ABOUT INTER-FAITH RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN JEWS AND GENTILES. SPECIFICALLY, IT CENTERS ON TWO GUY FRIENDS – ONE JEWISH, ONE CHRISTIAN – WHO EACH WANT TO DATE AND MARRY OUTSIDE OF THEIR RELIGION, MUCH TO THE OTHER’S CONFUSION. (“I LIKE JEWISH GIRLS,” SAYS ONE. “WHY??” SPUTTERS THE OTHER INCREDULOUSLY.)

THE PLAY, WHICH REHASHES – HILARIOUSLY, I MIGHT ADD – EVERY STEREOTYPE KNOWN TO JEWISH CULTURE (MY FAVORITE? THE TOP TEN LIST OF TRAITS THAT WILL IMMEDIATELY IDENTIFY YOU AS A GENTILE, INCLUDING TOBACCO DIPPING, CLUBS INVOLVING LIONS OR ELKS, TAKING LESS THAN AN HOUR TO SAY GOODBYE, NASCAR, AND BEING IN PERFECT HEALTH) – CERTAINLY CAPTURES THE ZEITGEIST OF TODAY’S FAITH-MIXING MATING SCENE.

THERE’S HARDLY A PERSON IN NEW YORK WHO HASN’T AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER DATED, OR EVEN MARRIED, OUTSIDE THEIR FAITH. IN FACT, ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL JEWISH POPULATION SURVEY, 47% OF JEWS WED NON-JEWS IN THE YEARS 1996-2001, UP FROM 13% BEFORE 1970.

DESPITE THAT TREND, DOING SO STILL ISN’T CELEBRATED IN SOME HOUSEHOLDS – A FACT THAT “JEWTOPIA” HIGHLIGHTS THROUGH HUMOROUS SEND-UPS OF THE TYPICAL JEWISH FAMILY PRESSURE TO MARRY “WITHIN THE TRIBE.”

TO WIT: “I’M A JEWISH MAN … DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE KIND OF PRESSURE MY FAMILY PUTS ME UNDER TO MARRY A JEWISH GIRL? I’M GETTING 10 TO 20 PHONE CALLS A WEEK, FROM MY MOTHER AND MY BUBBEE…AND DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY’RE CALLING ME? BECAUSE THEY ALL KNOW SOMEONE WHO’S GOT A DAUGHTER OR A GRANDDAUGHTER THAT THEY WANT TO SET ME UP WITH! THEY WILL STOP AT NOTHING! LAST WEEK MY MOTHER SET ME UP ON A BLIND DATE WITH HER GYNECOLOGIST! THAT IS WRONG!”

I SUPPOSE IT’S NOT SURPRISING THEN, THAT MY VERY FIRST “REAL” RELATIONSHIP – WITH A JEW, OF COURSE – DIDN’T GO OVER WELL WITH HIS ISRAELI-BORN PARENTS. NEVER MIND THAT I WAS 16 AND NOT EVEN REMOTELY LOOKING TO GET HITCHED, LET ALONE BREED HALF-JEWS. AND NEVER MIND THAT ALTHOUGH I WAS RAISED PROTESTANT, I’M ½, ¼, OR 0% JEWISH, DEPENDING UPON WHO YOU TALK WITH IN MY FAMILY. NONE OF THAT MATTERED. I WASN’T A TRUE JEW, AND THEY DIDN’T WANT THEIR SON CONTRIBUTING TO THE DEMISE OF A WATERED-DOWN JEWISH CIVILIZATION.

OF COURSE, EIGHT YEARS LATER THEIR SON IS ON HIS FOURTH BLONDE-HAIRED, BLUE-EYED ARYAN GIRLFRIEND, AND I’M WITH A GUY WHO WAS BAR-MITZVAH’D AT THE HOTEL BEL-AIR AND LOVES TO GET OUT OF HOUSEHOLD CHORES BY INSISTING THAT “I’M A JEW. I WRITE CHECKS.” SIGH.

Have at it, RBDers!

And Judy, we’re sure Dodi is thrilled to be writing checks for those massages, self-abuse seminars, and endless vacations from vacation-itis. “This shiksa’s a keeper!”

41 COMMENTS

  1. Heh. If Marson wifes Donkey up, she is going to spend every last dollar he and his parents have to their names. If they get married I predict he divorces her for financial reasons within 3 years. We are talking about a woman who has NEVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE held down a real job or earned a consistent paycheck.

    • And who firmly believes the masculine pays. And pays and pays and pays. Hell, she even expected PhuturePhuckPhace to pay for everything and he didn’t have a pot to pee in.

  2. Can we do an entire post with a photo of every last guy we know about? Eater dude, Prom King, Toph, Redacted, Pancakes, that political guy, DJ1, DJ2, Debbie, anyone from Miss Advised (I never watched that show), plus all the ones she tried to go after but failed?

  3. Oh and there’s Reasonable Man. And the dude she was engaged to. Harvard Harley. (omg why are her names so horrible?) What was that blondish college humor era guy who she was rude about?

    And maybe a link where possible to how it ended/the breakup or after effects?

  4. What could be her motivation for scrubbing Pancakes? It must be something to do with Dodi, as only a new mark could make her relinquish her claim on her biggest trophy mark to date. What are his parents big liberals or something? Wouldn’t it be ironic if his parents held it against her all the many men she dated and had failed relationships with? Kind of like how she used to hold it against a man if his parents weren’t married? Turn about is fair play, right?

    • I would bet he and his family are liberals. I also think Donkey comes through in all her pics with Pancakes as Ms. Phony Posey Princess, and she is probably desperate to hide that view into her shapeshifting inauthentic personality from the Marson clan. Or that she lied about everything having to do with that relationship. I’m sure they’d be surprised to hear how we know this.

    • Look at what she banged after Pancakes: Debbie Seltzer, Dirtbag DJ 1, Dirtbag DJ 2. Now she’s with an actual scientist who has his own lab, some money, a 3 BD townhouse, and takes Donk on endless vacations from vacation-itis. That’s a far cry from Dadsers footing the bill for Donk and Debbie’s European grand tour. She’s not letting anything fuck up the marriage proposal this time out, certainly not her lurid, shady past. Down come the old boyfriends! Even Yack!

      • You must be right if Yack is coming down. I can’t think of anything else that could knock his helo out of the air babe, not even the breakup or his marriage and child or not being sure he wanted to stay in the military. Alas! But nothing will take away our memories with Yimmy. He’ll always be our Yimmy and favorite Luke Wilson lookalike.

  5. Who wrote even wrote that? Way too articulate (despite completely wrong-headed and offensive premise.) Bueller?! Bueller?! [Oops, I meant Robin?! Robin?!]

      • 1. Donkey looks much worse than the dog. 2. Are those moving boxes next to her? 3. Is she in Wilmette or Chicago? I’m sure that’s where this dog has been living.

    • Lilly is the new “these are not the droids you seek” Jedi mind games to our social media/boyfriend/Dodi parent sleuthing. Scheming donk is scheming. What else could pull Lilly from the dead but getting too close to donk wallet hunting truth?

  6. If his parents are observant and he has any relationship with them, he is not marrying the Donkey. Not unless she goes through an Orthodox conversion, which takes at least a year and involves serious, intense study, lessons, practice.

    • She’s lazy, lazy, lazy, but would she be willing to take classes, actually study, etc., for the long green? Donk isn’t getting any younger and is even past the expiration date as stipulated by dirtbag DJs.

      • Oh, it’s much more than just studying — stuff like immersing herself in Jewish culture. It involves learning to read, understand, and speak Hebrew well enough to convince a 3-man Beit Din (a Jewish court) that not only has she mastered Hebrew and various traditions, but also prove her sincerity in converting (doing so to nail down a Jewish wallet before her ovaries completely shrivel isn’t considered a good reason).

          • She fawns all over Ivanka in the NonSociety archives, even posting pictures of Trump’s spawn’s OMG! wedding to Jared.

          • She actually bragged about being at a party where she spilled a drink on Ivanka, who ignored it and her.

          • Dodi has a full-time **PAID*** job, maybe owns a home, compared to the couch-surfing druggie DJs she is used to dating, it’s a huge step up.

            Don’t let this one get away, Pete!

          • Doesn’t Son of Sam have roommates? Or am I confusing him with another Donkeyfucker?

    • I doubt his parents are observant Orthodox or even Conservadox. His sister’s ex-husband had a not-traditionally-Jewish last name and she doesn’t dress tznius.

      • Thanks for clarifying. Even so, his parents may care more about a son marrying a non-Jew than a daughter doing so, as it’s a matrilineal religion. They may still expect her to do some sort of conversion – if there is a chance of offspring.

        • On her FB page, his mom has posted an affiliation with a Jewish organization, but that doesn’t tell us much about how strictly observant they might be.

          • Do you remember the organization? Or a link to her FB page?

          • Sorry for the JFA, but is his mom Ellen? If so, a quick look at the “likes” on her FB profile show an attachment to Judaism and Israel, so it’s highly likely that she’s going to want Jewish grandchildren. And to marry off Son of Sam in a Jewish wedding with chuppa, breaking glass, a rabbi, and so on. Or she may be so eager to get him married off that it won’t matter

          • I don’t think we want to go there

  7. Uh-oh, the Stalin-like erasure of Pancakes can’t be a coincidence.

    It can only mean one thing: that the scheme juices are flowing.

    Big. Time.

    • Has anyone noticed that Megatits McCain is referring to herself as a politician these days?
      Maybe it’s donkey who is being erased… (on the advice of Harold Ford, no less, LOL)

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