Smell-O-Rama: I Was Having A Wonderful Day Until Suddenly Having To Vom In The Shower

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Our inbox has been overflowing lately, as you’ve no doubt determined. Among the missives has been stomach-churning intel on Michael Ellsberg, who just became a whole lot more nauseating.

Someone in the adult video industry contacted us. Let’s call him/her, “X” (I just love that!). X indicated the greasy gargoyle attempted to make inroads into the porn industry, especially trying to ingratiate himself with female performers. Though some women initially liked the idea of a Daniel Ellsberg connection, they quickly became disenchanted and more than a little freaked out. These women see porn as “work,” a way to earn a living, which doesn’t seem to be the way Smelly sees things.

He’s allegedly obsessed with sex work and sex workers, much more so than is evident in his many posts on porn. Smelly apparently “loves” to have people, especially women, watch him getting busy and often fantasizes about blue movie stardom.

Sure, women like to watch adult movies too, but why would any woman watch ol’ Smelly when she could watch Marcus London or Roman Nomar?

It gets better, or worse: X told me that one of the reasons Michael and Jena la Fraud supposedly broke up was because she was cheating on him. Sure, they had an open marriage – what true blue woo doesn’t? – but she was allegedly screwing one of her boyfriends without a condom. Michael was furious because Jena was supposed to be “fluid bonded” only to him.

99 COMMENTS

  1. Well, thanks for passing that one on.

    There have certainly been adult stars who weren’t conventionally handsome—Ron Jeremy comes to mind—but they had something else to offer in the way of endowment or stamina. Hard to imagine His Mesh-Shirtedness is outstanding in either department.

    • Oh God, you just ruined nachos for me. And I love me some damn nachos.

  2. Polyamory is so tedious. They pretend to be so enlightened and free, yet we see the same Control v. Inability to Honor Commitments drama playing out. Just on a bigger stage involving more players and higher stakes.

  3. I feel the overwhelming need to 1)shower, 2) have a vow renewal with my husband-complete with fluid bonded promises, and 3)shower.

  4. I would’ve bet serious money that he dumped her for sleeping with his mom

      • Can you imagine him whining to some of the other smelly woo weirdos “Man, it was one thing that we both were free to screw other people. But then SHE FUCKED MY MOM?!?!?!?!?!?!”

        • Can you imagine any son or daughter having to cope with that insanity? No wonder he has sexual obsessions, kinks galore.

          • Egads. But I’d bet anything he was seriously fucked in the head long before his wife and his mother started having sex

  5. Seriously, Gilly, thank you for this. My life’s been rough lately – a sibling lost a much-wanted baby far into the pregnancy, our finances are getting super squeezed thanks to tuition increases & a boiler breakdown, and my job is turning into something I loathe & there’s not much I can do about it because health insurance, etc.

    I don’t mean to imply those latter things are on par with a dead baby, but I’m trying to say that these are all contributing to a general feeling of ‘what the fuck am I doing with my life to make it suck so much?’. And then I read this and it puts it all in perspective.

    I have a family I adore, good friends, and a steady job which, if not ideal, allows me to pursue some of my passions, and I have never in all my days gotten within touching distance of behaving so grossly as these people. That’s something.

    Post script: when I was in college I was friends with a woman who did porn to put herself through school. It was incredibly creepy to see men treat her as though they had a complete right to touch her / yell things at her / discuss their boners with her, etc. just because they had seen her on video (yes, I’m that old). No bueno, Smellsberg.

    • Hroswitha, so sorry about the intense pressures right now. We have a lot of stuff coming up in the next couple of months that will present quite a challenge. But like you, I can read the ridiculous travails of Smellsberg, Shantitown, Donkey, etc., and be thankful that I have a decent job and a loving family.

      I had a friend who stripped briefly when an undergrad so that she could pay tuition for that year. She really didn’t have a lot of horror stories, however, and ended up becoming a fairly successful actress in L.A. You’ve probably seen her in a few things.

  6. Mesh shirt was recently open about the woman with the feets in the bubble bath photo, but he seems to have scrubbed that, maybe they on the outs too. He was so predatory, one of them re-emerged after a year or so off FB now, like many in these odd orbits, with a new name.

    and NO YOU MAY NOT SHOW ME

        • Also possibly scrubbed: Jack McCain from Donk’s IG account. I know she had some snaps in there, but they’ve disappeared.

          • Are you sure? I had some recollection that she didn’t get on IG until relatively late in the game for an OMGTECHINFLUENCER, and surely post-Pancakes. Instagram was founded in late 2010, and the Pancakes split was in mid-2011.

          • Yes, but I still believe she’d uploaded old fauxtos of Pancakes because someone was in here complaining about his IG appearance not too long ago.

          • Can absolutely confirm that there were Pancakes pictures as of last week because I was looking at them and rolling my eyes

          • What. Is. That. Outfit? Is it a costume party, as in he’s a fancy hotel’s doorman and she’s a transvestite prostitute? Auntie Emetic took a rent-a-twink to a housewarming.

          • It’s from the New Year’s Eve 2010 soiree that she threw at the OMG! downtown condo.

            Now put your right foot in
            Your right foot out
            Right foot in
            Then you shake it all about
            And then you do the hokey pokey
            Turn yourself around
            That’s what it’s all about

          • Ss.sf: Heeeeere’s Jack! Just clicked now, Pre-Woo Donkology is my weakest subject.

            What does she fucking look like. In the British sense where this is a statement, not a question.

  7. I’m not sure who “X” is but, am I really expected to believe that a bunch of adult film folks even know who Daniel Ellsberg is let alone that being a compelling reason to consider Michael as a co star?

    As much as we all love the “hooker with a heart of gold” and “stripper only on the pole because she’s paying for her master’s degree” tropes, and I’m sure there are some instances of that, I don’t believe it’s the majority. I’ve seen some of these people interviewed before. They don’t strike me as ones who are reading The Doomsday Machine between scenes.

    That said, and I only mention it because it made me laugh heartily, I totally believe that they are grossed out by the mesh shirted creeper. And Jena? She had ONE job. Make sure your partners wear a condom. Wonder if that’s the same reason why the Cacao Shaman ran off to Europe and left his American dreams behind.

    • He was palling around with Nina Hartley and other adult film personnel a year or so ago. I believe Smelly and Hartley were doing a project together. He certainly wrote about it on FB.

      • I should clarify….I believe he wanted in, I believe there are probably some porn directors, like Hartley, who would be interested.

        I kind of interpreted the post to mean the rank and file porn actresses were clamoring around the anal bleach cupboard all aflutter about the potential to bag the son of Daniel Ellsberg.

        • Yes, I don’t think starlets were fluttering about Smelly, but some industry folks definitely welcomed the connection. He wrote about learning how to direct porn from various Seamy Valley personnel and seemed to be tight with Hartley and her porn director husband, who shoots a lot of BDMS videos in the Hartley loft. I vaguely recollect Smelly shooting his own BDSM porn around the same time. There were a few stomach churners posted to FB. Muse Magdalene, that poor soul, might have been the “star.”

          • There isn’t much worse out there than a sexual opportunist. And, honestly, (again not saying there aren’t exceptions), I actually consider a lot of the women in the porn industry to be a vulnerable population in many cases. Ripe for people like him to take advantage of.

            It’s easier to get women when they are contractually obligated to have sex in 100 movies per year. Seeking out a career in porn and having a production company do the dirty work for you, and pay the talent to have sex with you, surely was seen as a boon. Way more of a sure thing for getting tail than his self authored consent form ever was.

          • I tend to agree that most women working in porn come from hardscrabble beginnings, but I’ve worked closely with a couple of industry women – the one name would blow your mind – who were incredibly professional, likable, and had their heads screwed on straight.

          • If you pay people to teach you something, they will teach you that thing and be civil to you the whole time. I’m sure neither Nina Hartley or her husband think that The Ell is the next adult movie visionary, but he seems to take all encouragement as adulation.

            I imagine Judy’s new anti-adult movie crusade will ruffle a few feathers with her beloved soul brother, or whatever she called him.

    • I mean, I can’t speak for all adult film performers since I’ve only known one, but she was legitimately using her porn income to pay her college tuition.

      Having said that, she was also a profoundly troubled person who had other ways to make money available to her, so make of that what you will. She was pretty well-known in that world for a while, but she kind of broke my heart, to be honest.

      • I guess I should say the the likelihood of daddy issues, drug/alcohol addiction, past sexual trauma, PTSD is very high in this population. The number of well adjusted females from good homes who just decide to have sex on camera one day doesn’t seem to be the makeup of the majority of actresses in these movies. There are always exceptions, though.

        • That was definitely the case for my friend. For a while she was very well-known for a certain activity (I’m trying to be as non-descriptive as possible because it’s not really my story to tell and I don’t want anyone to be able to identify her). A few months into our friendship she told me that this ‘activity’ had been forced on her on multiple occasions when she was a child. She explained that being in porn, it was now HER choice to do that particular thing, and therefore she was taking back her power. I thought (and still do, honestly) that instead she was just recreating her trauma again and again, and that the people she was working with did not have her best interests at heart.

          She was a lovely person, though, generous and thoughtful despite being heavily into drugs (which I was, too, at the time), and I still hear from her on occasion. Part of what brought us together were similar childhood experiences (again, I’m being really oblique), so I really didn’t like the way she was treated, both by the industry she was in and by people who recognised her from her work.

          I just heard from her recently and she’s doing really well now. Sorry about the novel-length comment; I just got a little carried away thinking about those days.

  8. As creepy as I have always found him, I will acknowledge that he can write quite well. I am not crazy about most of the subjects he’s written about, and I thought his last book was irresponsible as hell, but he writes compellingly and clearly. It’s too bad that his serious mental health issues have so negatively affected so much of his personal and professional life.

    • I agree. I remember that I complimented him when he came in here for that very reason. He is one of the few defenders that wrote anything other than “you probably live your mom’s basement and have 18 cats”.

      • He set a pretty low bar though, as all he did was whine about how everyone here comments anonymously, and we’re therefore all nasty bullies and cowards. When people tried to explain that not everyone lives a public life, and we’re entitled to our anonymous opinions – he just doubled down on his “but you can’t comment on a public figure unless you go public” bullshit.

        None of these woo grifters can defend their lifestyle or ideology coherently, because they don’t get that they’re clowns whose grotesqueries don’t endear them to everyone.

        • The content may have been objectionable, but the sentence structure, vocabulary and punctuation was elevated compared to what most of her defenders post.

    • OK, I’m willing to go with Smelly being an OK writer, just as long as he didn’t write Julia’s book proposal for her.

      • I think he advised her and possibly gave her a format to follow, but nobody but she could have written that ridiculous POS.

        • Gawd, that proposal drove Jacy bonkers. She insisted it was the worst book proposal she’d ever read, and she’d read plenty. I know at one of the houses where it was under consideration, the footnotes became the laughingstock of the staff meeting, and jokes were made about those notes for weeks afterwards.

          • In a way, BOOK PROPOSAL stands on its own as Donkey’s chef d’oeuvre, at least in terms of concentration; it’s the longest, most focused (I use the term loosely) thing she’s ever produced. Perhaps Smellsby’s editorial skillz were involved. Wonder who PAID whom? *CAAK–shower vom*

          • As a spectator sport, reading that book proposal is right up there with reading the transcript of an IQ45 stream of conscious speech.

          • How did it even get to be under consideration??????? Or was it brought up at the staff meeting as a humorous diversion?

          • The word we got was that it was sold as a package, along with some other reality show actors’ books. I think the Duck Dynasty people got a deal too, if that tells you anything.

          • Exactly. Her literary agent packaged “Experiments in Crappiness” alongside some Duck Dynasty titles. This plan was the ONLY means of getting the all-important advance that she lived off for several years before having to return the money.

            THIS IS SUCCESS!!

          • How the fuck did she ever get an agent? I know so many talented, hard working writers who can’t find representation. But this Donkey gets one?

            I doubt her advance was enough to live off for any period of time. Or is there intel saying otherwise?

          • Donkey’s entertainment agent likely got her the book agent. She got the entertainment agent when she was doing the Star gig, and they reconnected when she had the Bravo show. Entertainment agent almost certainly got her the ELLE online gig, “Guinea Pig of Happiness,” which was the core of her book pitch.

            You see what we mean when we talk about her pissing away opportunities?

            Her advance was almost certainly less than $50,000 total, based on the coded language in the deal announcement in Publishers’ Marketplace. That means she would have gotten $15,000 up front, at most.

            Now if she were a smart person, instead of a dumb Donkey, she would have used that $15,000 to hire a ghostwriter.

          • Thanks for the insights, Albie. It still amazes that she ever had an agent for anything. Unlikable Donkey with no work ethic and a knack for burning bridges

          • The guesstimates re: the book advance put it at around 50k, but we never got verification on a figure. We did, however, hear from a tipster close to Rain that he indicated she was living off the advance for some time, as well as piecemeal work with Ryan Allis.

  9. Ya know, I’m trying to come to a place like, “You do you,” and all. My issue with him chasing all these porn stars is they all seemed to, if you dug deep enough in their FBs, have deep trauma, usually around rape or molestation. You just can’t have it both ways, you can’t claim to be a male feminist and OH SO EVOLVED and then exploiting these women who have clearly been abused. ALSO: He is gross.

    • Even he realizes why it didn’t work out. Oh, Smelly!

      “I have a great guy for you. He’s divorced, doesn’t want kids, isn’t sure he wants to get married again, is resolutely committed to polyamory, has a history of serious manic episodes–well-documented on the Internet–has attempted to make indie porn in the past, would like to try again, is on bipolar anti-depressant medications, smokes a shit-ton of weed, and is kinkier than a knotted rope. Would you like to be set up on a blind date with him?”

      • Didn’t he go off the meds because he thought he could “cure” himself?

        • Yes, it was batty and of course ended in disaster. I’d feel sorry for the guy if he weren’t such a mouthbreather.

          • He also comes across as a sexual predator

      • I thought this was /sarcasm. With softness, how emotionally damaged do you have to be to think a guy with that description, or 1/10th of it, is a great catch?

    • echoing your style comments in the thread immediately above: concise, to the point and very readable.

  10. Jena la Flamme, fluid bond violator, is hosting a cacao and eye-gazing extravaganza this weekend. Didn’t her ex-husband patent those staring contests? Anywoo, the only person who’s liked this FB announcement, posted 10 hour ago, is Ananya Harvey, Jena’s partner-in-cacao-blocks. The lovely Ananya describes her livelihood: “I help men be authentically irresistible in love and business naturally, using deep heart power.” Is that what they’re calling it these days? winky emoticon

    • I will never these ageing big-city Woos. How do they get new blood into their “tribe”?

      “30+ folks! Stressful work week? Single and frustrated? Want to dance and take drugs and fuck the pain away? Come to our club, where the music is shit and the strippers are old and awkward and ask to borrow your phone, and the drinks are spiked with weird stuff you didn’t expect!”

    • Bushnell’s a basket case herself, but honestly I bet the show will do well. Miranda as a stressed-out Momzilla alone will be worth the clicks.

      • I’ll pass on the show. Yes, Bushnell is a handful. A grad school compatriot was her agent for years and had many a story to tell.

    • JFC. Didn’t that overrated hack already do enough damage to Manhattan?
      For one thing, without that shitshow Donkey may not have come here.

      • You have my sympathy— the jarring experience of seeing the ridiculous suburban hick pretending to be Carrie Bradshaw must have been traumatic. You were so lucky to get rid of her—my state has her now. WHY do all these useless woo grifters come to OMG California??? We must be second only to poor Boulder, CO in snake oil peddlers and “healers.”

        • Isn’t Rochester also a woo haven? I’m just so damn mad that they’re stinking up San Diego!

  11. Donk on another Scoldy tear. Vegan again too. Which we be, sans pescatarianiam

    • Scoldy Donkey Is Scoldy!

      Why don’t we value new mothers?!

      Oh no, I hope she’s not trying to tell us something!

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