The Return Of Fingernails & Erudition!

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A Donkey suddenly values honesty in a relationship? HA HA HA HA HA! ::wiping away tears:: “I honestly went through your iPhone and email AGAIN while you were sleeping.”

Re: the above image, our burro is making several backdated posts public.

Missing the slimelight, Judy?

More from the ersatz SJW:

Be afraid, Dodi. Be very afraid.

67 COMMENTS

  1. Whoops, Medusa bat Winebottle y Resin forgot to add the all important accent aigu on her Facebook!

    As for Donkey’s endless literacy cosplay, I have no words but “Fiftieth verse, same as the first/A little bit slower and a little bit worse.”

    • I needed a good laugh this morning, Albie! Thank you so much!

      Is our girl writing about wuv in alternating blue and pink pens? Like a 13 year old? Wait! I get it! Judy is in touch with both her masculine and feminine sides, and each was weighing in on wuv! Call Lock Day HAS healed the gender rift. Praise Goddess!

        • Cowlick Da Fingerhut Winegarden apparently lives on planet Jupiter where Jules went to get stupider.

          Holy shit, a dime has more depth than these empty shoebox brained sheep people.

      • Excuse you! That is purple to match her sparkle nails! And she appears to be taking notes on a self-help book. Can you imagine having enough time that you would sit down and take notes on Chicken Soup for the Burning Man Soul?

        • The book is some bell hooks nonsense. I thought people stopped reading her years ago. Leave it to Donkey to be 20-25 years behind the times.

        • Hmmm, copying a sentence here, a paragraph there….. could Judy be trying to get another BOOK deal, by passing off these words as her own ( a la Hoya listicle plagiarism scandal?!)

          • I can’t wait to read the next book proposal, especially the jackass footnotes, that turns her, once again, into the laughing stock of the publishing world.

    • Albie, I feel like I owe money for the privilege of reading that comment. “Winebottle bat” slays.

        • I’ll hold you, Gills. It’ll all be okay. Also, she could be just f–king with us. I said a couple posts ago that she needs to shut her trap on chilrens and all manner of things beyond nail polish. And what do we get? Chilrens *and* nail polish. But, she never reads here. Never.

      • Nope. She’d never be able to STFU about it, and would demand constant attention and adoration for being preggers

          • As you should. Can you honestly imagine her holding back on something that would legitimately let her demand that people treat her as a special princess?

            “I’m pregnant, granny, I need that seat.”
            “Can I have that cupcake for free? I’m pregnant and the baby is giving me a major craving!”

      • She’s trying way too hard to be “wifey material” except she can’t play the part long enough for them to commit, the bunny boiler can’t be contained.

        Run, you dense mofo. Get the hell out asap.

        You’re welcome.
        – All her ex-boyfriends.

        • While I see the concern for Dodi here, the chillrens and humanity in general, it’s either him or us at this point, and I’m pulling for us. He needs to just take one for the team, so we can get the epic wedding *we* so richly deserve. I mean, I’ll cancel cable. It’ll be better. Bigger than Game of Thrones. Bloodier. Trial by combat. Epic battle sequences. Gird your loins, catladies. And no worries. If she gets her wedding, I doubt very seriously she’ll need to make preggers happen.

          • I gotta disagree. Married Donkey will be THE SMUGGEST, MOST INSUFFERABLE DONKEY ever.

            As much as you want it, she wants it more. A LOT MORE. Because it bothers her greatly to be Spinster Donkey at almost 40.

  2. Dr. Donk , paging Dr. Donk

    Shudder to think… children… shudder.. from her… shudder.

  3. She recently commented on Myca Duran Duran’s photo calling her “wifey” so she may still hedge her bets on Myca’s masculine to pay, but he ghosted her or told her stop posting him in things since he’s therious thinker guy and can’t be associated with a Dr. Donk.

    Ot the buy your way into colleges ensnared Georgetown, I’m shcoked!

    • “That’s my wifey! I love you, Miss M.” Tho bikissable! Surely Rob Schuham will come around and at least acknowledge A Donkey?

      Ryan Swain, AKA Mental Dental, also commented on Electric Barbarella’s fauxto. So creepy. I wouldn’t want that in my feed.

      • Rob doesn’t even acknowledge Her Name is Myca anymore, it’s worrisome!

      • Donk is imitating (of course) another woo (of course) who did it months if not years ago (of course)– Jaaahhhhsssss and Cariel White once posted that, even though they were straight women and one of them was in a relationship with a man, they were still each other’s “wives.” Yet another unoriginal bleat from A Donkey.

  4. I am here for the return of the sausage snappers! Please, another yellow manicure to make them look even more corpse-like.

    (I know beautiful fingers are not the norm. But her insistence on inflicting her ugly manicures on the world outweighs any fear of ‘body snarking’ I might have.)

  5. So she reads pretend-profound woo shit and scribbles useless ass notes in Lisa Frank colors while Dadbod, like, actually works? LMFAO. Got it.

    • The masculine always pays. And pays and pays and pays. Just ask PhuturePhuckPhace. And Dadsers!

    • Excuse ME!

      Haven’t you heard about Julia Allison’s intellectual acumen?

      #canklehausencodered

  6. IMAGINE REWRITING PASSAGES FROM BOOKS IN PINK AND PURPLE INK all your life long only to learn nothing and be 40 without a job or any real relationship I CANNOT TODAY I am laughing so hard.

    • Literally pointless.

      All that reading and regurgitating with none of the retention nor transformation. It is to laugh.

  7. Is that a bell hooks book? Is Donk pretending to be a feminist again? Since Donk can never just casually point out something like, “Hey, this is interesting,” her scheme juices must be running overtime… scolding “boyfriends” who don’t love their “girlfriends” enough??? Scolding “society” for not valuing unemployed 40-year-olds in rainbow toddler clothes???

    • Indeed it is. So last year. One of the most lightweight academics among lightweight academics. Donk trumpets hooks in the post, but the quote belongs to someone else. That’s so Donkey!

      • JFAing myself to add that the underlined passage is from Bill Gates. Like the Microsoft founder, Julia Allison, a catalyst for love, and the intrepid Call For Philip Morris will soon be changing the world! No horror movies and aya for all!

        • So Juliar is STILL pretending to be into “tech”? LOL!

          Call for Philip Morris=DEAD. And thinking of Lucy, so even deader. None more dead.

          • Can we also please give a moment of reflection about JA’s now deceased friendship with Randi Zuckerberg? Wow, she really not managed to parlay ANY of her good connections to anything substantive….that’s gotta hurt!

    • She is always quoting cringey Class 101 quotes. You’re about 5 million years late, per usual, Donkey. It’s really embarrassing.

  8. Donkey’s hands are what happens when you give a unicorn an ungloved rectal exam.
    Is Dr. Dodi “single-mindedly devoted to work above all else?” I don’t think she wants kids, I think she wants someone who is probably using *work* as an excuse to avoid her to spend more time with her.
    She’s always slow on the uptake & passive-aggressive when she finally does start to figure it out.

    • We knew she’d start demanding he take time away from the lab to be with her. The newness of the romance and holibrays are over now, though, so he’s likely back in a routine. Would love to know where she ended up staying when she’s stateside. Hope he was smart enough to make her keep her own stall.

      • I hope to goddess she’s not put him on a reading and self-abuse workshop schedule à la Phutuephuckphace. Poor Dodi will never be in that lab!

  9. I wonder if she is attempting to get a new book deal, or if she is putting together something lame for her next vapid HIVE mind fuck presentation.

    Telling Dodi she’s writing a book absolves her from getting a real job while she takes vacations from vacationitis, and also allows her to start grifting again once the deal is in place. While I don’t think she should ever get another legit book deal again because of her last non-compliance fiasco, the past several years have taught me that the most corrupt among us (especially those with connections) seem to get rewarded over and over again without any accountability.

    • She should be able to use BOOK as a cover for her idleness for at least a year. Donk would tell Rain that she was working with her “many clients” when he saw her on her computer. Yet other than Ryan Allis, he knows of no one that she actually worked for during the entire time they lived together.

    • I’d be surprised if she ever gets an agent again, let alone a legit publishing contract. Agents talk, and they especially talk about crazies and assholes. Even more about writers who are both.

      She no longer has any platform – hasn’t had one since the last time she was going to write a book – and that matters a lot to publishers. All she has to show for the last few years are the creeps of the druggy, smelly woo cultists.

      Plus the epic tales of her spectacular failure with BOOK! are likely well known throughout the publishing community.

      • So true. That book proposal is the stuff of legend at various publishing houses, as is her inability to turn anything in on time. She might be able to put some gibberish out via Woo Press, but no legit house will touch her raft ass.

        That’s what a crucible does, heh, Judy?

  10. Is Donk returning to her fluffy glittery girl form so that Dodi will in turn play white knight?
    God help any children of this union.

  11. Getting CalliopeLaLecheLeague Das Weihnachten Ryan(Allis) hired as CEO of Hive was Donkey’s smartest ace-in-the-hole move to date. This is almost guaranteed Donkey’s research for her next groundbreaking Hive presentation twee middle-school essay.

    • If she’s not too busy trying to balance her masculine and feminine selves, perhaps Call For Philip Morris will write Donk’s next book proposal. I guarantee it will be more profeshunal than self-professed wordsmith Smellberg’s contribution to Experiments in Crappiness.

  12. I felt compelled to JFA this morning after reading a piece in the New Yorker about the college admissions scandal. One of the takeaways from the article was about how scamming and grifting have become so casually pervasive and almost permissible in the upper stratas of America.

    When I find so abhorrent about the woo culture that Donkey has attached herself to over the last few years is how clearly scamming and grifting are at the root of this culture, yet these people claim to be so pure, societally-minded, and yes (sounds familiar?) so full of LOVE. This is not news or surprising to anyone who has read this blog over the years. We can’t point out the phoniness and hypocrisy of most its participants enough times.

    For Donkey, this even pre-dates her woo phase. How exactly did she get into Georgetown after a mediocre performance in high school and a disastrous year at a state school? It was clearly the strings her father pulled with his friend Senator Mark Kirk, from his position of privilege. Her mother, a former Nixon speechwriter, edited her Georgetown dating column. Her PR stunts in NY allowed her to start up a fake web business where she “hired” interns for no pay to elevate her status and visibility. In NY, she worked her contacts and access to influence as hard as the woman who ran those massage parlors in Florida, and compare all the selfies the two of them took with movers and shakers to enhance their respective images. She pretended to write for the WaPo so she could grift a free breakfast at a hotel. Uninvited, she crashed countless parties and events and bragged about how to do it. She bought more than a hundred thousand fake Facebook followers, ostensibly with her BFFs Randi Zuckerberg and Dave Morin looking the other way, so she could grift free swag and gift cards from sponsors that weren’t always passed along to followers. She used a purloined unconnected NBC microphone to scam her way into NY fashion week where she gave fake interviews that never aired. She got a book deal and strung along the publisher for years without producing any useable material, and allegedly had to return her advance. She pretended to be the national spokesmodel for a clothing company, paid for and produced her own advertisements, and had a press release issued about it in her hometown. She fraudulently subletted apartments via AirBnb and was evicted in SF for doing so. And now she is presenting herself as someone who advises and inspires global entrepreneurs, having no relevant experience at doing so, simply because of her connections and because she says so.

    None of her shenanigans were at the same level as the college admissions scam, but she is another example of how grifting and scamming is a way of life for some children of privilege who would rather profit by faking it through life instead of working hard. And there are new kids of privilege being born and indoctrinated into this way of life every day. Rules don’t apply to them, laws don’t apply to them, and accountability and consequences are for the little people. But let them show you how socially conscious and full of LOVE they are!

    • Brilliant!

      Unfortunately, too many out there don’t care if they’re scammed — because there is no way that those who gave her sponsorships and other goodies didn’t know what a scammy asshole she is.

      And her book deal meant that someone who put a great deal of work into a really good nonfiction proposal was turned down because a publisher gave that spot on their list to this lying basic trash instead.

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