Donk’s Magical Sankt Punta de Mita Birthcray With Dodi!


The good news, at least for the Marson family? She doesn’t look preggers.

And yes, it’s so on. I must go comfort Grifty.


  1. First? And on this auspicious occasion?!? Okay I will spend whatever donk cred I have left (not much, I guess) by saying that she actually looks happy here. And in that last shot, under the influence of something. And is that a tiny little nose piercing I spy??

  2. And a rainbow staircase on IG in Santkz Francisco.
    Where are his feet?

    Still vacationing, so what does she do in real life ,(hint-nothing) maybe hasn’t kicked in yet.

  3. “magical being” ie the guy who said don’t tag me in your posts.

  4. This wedding is happening! No way a Donkey, who will blow for shoes (her own words) is ever giving up a guy who flies her around the world.

    • I’m not sure how many of the others she actually “gave up.” They flee into the woods and she pursues them with the tact and grace of John Belushi on meth.

      • She gave up the first fiancé, yes? I feel like all the others dumped her, but my Donkology is not perfect.

        • She left Fiancé One, but has been stalkerish about him on occasion. [How dare he move on and do adult things like an adult?]

          I’m not sure if she left any of the others. Maybe Married NYC Guy? But that would make it even harder to explain how she stayed in his rental apt for months afterward.

          I might be giving myself away to say which (and the mods would know anyway), but she acts like she left one guy who I know got sick of her unhinged behavior and moved on. That’s actually how she came to my attention as a crazy NYC “journalist” rando pre-Gawker.

          She probably doesn’t count being ghosted as a breakup, even when she’d been “looking at rings.”

          • Pelts, are you talking about Five Dresses guy? Wasn’t he the original [REDACTED], like [REDACTED]#1? I hope I don’t have to give up my PhDonk for forgetting.

          • I’ve only been watching since J. L. days (I can never remember which redacted is which), and it seems pretty clear he dumped her. The people who do the dumping don’t trash the dumped one all over town and all over social media.

            Other redacted with famous brother dumped her from her side-piece gig, Pancakes dumped her, Debbois dumped her, Avocado dumped her, Chad dumped her.

            Then there were the hookups she tried to spin as relationships, also never a good look.

          • I thought he was [REDACTED]#1 because chronologically he came before the [REDACTED] I’m quite fond of, and whose Mother is a gem upon this earth. And we’re sure Five Dresses dumped her? Her narrative has always been that she threw away the great love because she wanted freedom or some such.

          • Yes he preceded #1. He became REDACTED#2 when Julia sent that horrible “overlap” email to his fiancee and no one here wanted to drag his name through the mud. She had dumped him to go gallivanting with a billionaire airline owner and his brother. Long after, she wanted him back and sent the email that I believe ruined her remaining friendships in the NY tech world.

        • She was cruising the med library while they were engaged, but Donk did make the trek to California with the poor schlub. Alas, she felt unfulfilled, breaking off their engagement and heading to horrible New York City, where she dressed up like the condom fairy and caught the attention of Nick Denton. The rest is herstory.

  5. That poor sap. His beach outfit though…lol. Yeah, she looks happy, but she always looks happy next to any dude she’s convinced is the love of her life, aka every dude we’ve seen her with.

    WTF can they possibly talk about? And if they’re ‘not talking’ most of the time, how long can that last?

    • That’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it? Just what the fuck do they talk about? CRISPR?

      • “Enough about me. So, what do YOU think of me?”

    She is never going to let this dumb rainbow thing go. She will be 80 years old,in a nursing home (thanks Petey), making some poor person take her dumb mug, with a goddamn rainbow moomoo on.

    • Ugh. It’s so try hard. Here’s my nickname I made up for myself, so call me by it. Wait, you forgot to call me by that name, so let me remind you. Welp, you forgot again, so let me remind you again. Once again, you forgot, but look at my rainbow leggings and my rainbow wig, does that remind you? How do you keep forgetting, bitch? I am the embodiment of fucking joy. I am like a beautiful rainbow, and don’t you forget it, bitch.

    • I came across a 2010 fauxto in which her painted fingernail is pointing to a list of what she loves more than anything in the world. That list consists of two items, colors (bright) and rainbows. Jesus, a five year old is more sophisticated.

    • A quick Google shows that dress is a Lisa Frank dress from Hot Topic, currently on sale for $22.45. Isn’t Hot Topic for teens?

    • The rainbow pasties when she pretty much went topless at some druggie wedding

  7. Also glitter nails are back. Between that and that dumb rainbow sun dress, maybe Dodi likes his girlfriends to sport a tween look.

  8. That top photo is hilareballz because they are both dressed like 4-year-olds. Unseemly.

    • Yup yup yup.

      My 4-year-old daughter has a rainbow dress, rainbow socks, a rainbow backpack, a rainbow hat etc that she loves to bits.

      • OT, but my grandbaby is about to turn four, and she is the BEST, because four-year-old girls are the BEST.

        • I have a 4-year-old girl and I totally agree. She’s all about glitter and pink twirly dresses but she wants to be a solar system scientist when she grows up. She’s reading already and already has a favourite sea shanty. She has two best friends and most of their conversations revolve around stickers and elephants, for some reason. Once when she was really angry at my husband she shouted ‘I say, good day, sir!’ and slammed her door. I absolutely love this age. Yesterday she told me that I had pretty eyeballs.

          • My daughter is full of opinions, most of which start with the words “NO, Papa!”.

            Lately she is very into dresses and will not walk out of the house without one, even when it’s like 5F.

            This week we transitioned from bath into showers, she is having so much fun with “the rain” that it takes at least 3 attempts to persuade her to leave the bathtub.

          • Handbag The Smallest only wears dresses that “twirl up and down,” and she twirls many times a day. This afternoon she told me to watch out the living room window, because there is a “wife cardinal” who sees herself in the side mirrors of cars, which she then attacks and poops on. Sure enough, the bird showed up went after the bird in the mirror for two solid hours. I asked HTS why she thought the cardinal was behaving that way, and she said, “It is SPWING, Grammy, and soon she will lay eggs with her mate, and so she must pwotect her TEWWITORWY.” And then she piled as many pillows as she could on top of me, and sat on them as if it were a throne.

          • @ Sankt Greg: she is pretty hilarious. She just told me that for her birthday she wants an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus but only if it has a real dead Egyptian inside it. Luckily I have a few months before the bigs day to do some antiquities smuggling.

          • I love all of these young persons and would like to subscribe to their newsletters!

          • I don’t have a 4-year-old girl of my own but I have a friend who does, or did a few years ago, the girl is now nearly 8, and when she was 4 she too was very much into pink and glitter AND also really really wanted to be a plumber. I loved her so much.

  9. Wow, he really looks like he’s lost weight. Is he wasting away like the Modesto Strangler did?

    • She’s squeezing the life out of his waist in that photo in order to counter the “dad bod” comments she NEVER READS HERE!

      • That womanly waist… Zoom in on it and tell me that the rock color w/in it and his elbow isn’t different, as in… Wait for it… Fauxto-chopped by Donkey…?

        • I often give benefit of the doubt, or a plausible explanation, like with the small pupils in the bright Mexican beach sun upthread. But that waist photo has Donkey’s retouching hoofprints all over it. Look at the distorted shape of his arm, the way she adjusted all the creases in the shirt, and the shadows along the edges of the limbs.

          Too bad she forgot to retouch some upper left molar teeth in the last pic.

      • She doesn’t understand that “dadbod” doesn’t necessarily mean heavy. No muscle tone more than qualifies. He’s definitely looking like he’s already got a late stage of he Derpin Stetler disease. Very concentrration camp chic. He needs a plate of sweet potato turds and healing nut clusters, pronto.

        • This guy has never been in a gym in his life, which is a far cry from the aging dirtbag DJ she was previously boning. Even if Donkey has him on a diet of plant medicine and aya, which would explain the weight loss, he’s still Dodi Dadbod.

        • Another result is that now they BOTH have giant heads. Great job, Judy.

    • This is what happens when you are dating the human embodiment of a Taenia soleum.

  10. We know her history of post-dating her breakups. Perhaps these photos are from a while back because WE ARE NEVER BREAKING UP!!!

  11. I’m shocked there isn’t the obligatory man holding donkey in air photo. Maybe this is progress. Or he has a bad back.

    • At least there is the obligatory kissyface photo. See also every other photo op they’ve posted.

      • eh, just saying that ringwatch is still on.

        its a thing people do, propose on anniversaries, right?

  12. He has really lost weight. Worried about him. He looks as small as Stetler, who has a teen boy body.

  13. Whoever said “he is the fat” best take a long honking gander at his childbod. He’s even doing the Kendall Jenner lanky arm dangle. Or are they just dead arms from the squeeezing? Has Dr. hammaconda’s boxer boa suffered the same?

    • My nose is pierced and I’m way past my expiration date. In my defence I did it when I was 16 and I pretty much have totally forgotten it’s there since it’s been in situ more than half my life. None of my jobs have seemed to care, even when I was working at a cultural institution that was pretty high in the instep. But on the other hand I have no rainbow dresses & actually do my work, so I hope I can be excused for clinging to this last legacy of my misspent youth.

  14. What in stubby leg hell is going on in the second fauxto?
    Why does he look like he’s in the middle of a Tim Conway skit?


  15. jfaing to say: considering julie’s manic postings of the pink bali alone-leap against the in lovership together above on birthcray has moi puzzed to its intent. we know she does everything for a purpose – why post the former at all, if you’re going to be posting celebrating as a twosome later in the week?

    maybe it’s all about “look how far i’ve come! me, mee, meeeeee”

    if the “casual and long-term dating” comment on his okcupid profile can be believed, they definitely have different relationship goals; and I get the impression he isn’t into her that much.

    • When was the profile posted? Dodi’s goals may have changed and/or he may finally have met The One. See ya in divorce court, you crazy kids!

  16. OT-Scoldy Noodles midlife crisis has her not only posting her child nonstop but now her child and her naked body (nothing wrong with nudity or bodies) just the shilling scamming heartist crap from this sister scammer

    • She hasn’t posted anything on Facebook since mid February. Now that the 3-month commitment container with Noah No Vowels is over, maybe he split town and she’s trying to figure out how to spin it?

      • Yes after a few of no vwls and one of exes before that 4minute twerp had her walk behind him

        She made sure to nag no vwls as the photographer. Who knows when it was though.

      • The Vowelless One looks positively uncomfortable in the last few Instagram pictures.

        Trbl in prds?

    • there is certainly something wrong with posting a photo of your toddler nude on the internet

      let alone when you are nude with said toddler

        • so is the same feminine who asked gilly last year not to post photos of child now using child as prop for nude yoo-hoos to the masculine at large?

          • Yes, and then she has the gall to CONSTANTLY post PUBLIC photos of CROOOOOW! all over FB and IG for the entire world to see.

            I occasionally post photos of my family on FB. For my friends. And all minors are clothed.

            She’s such a phony, such a hypocrite.

    • Also this humble brag: “He just turned 2, and he’s already been to Costa Rica, Mexico, Indonesia, UK, France, Canada, and to many US cities. He’s seeing more than our little world in coastal Northern California. I want him to see more. And our privilege has allowed us to do that.” Nisha thinks this will end well, but I don’t know very many world travelers who actually manage to do this gracefully with their young kids. Frequent international travel for a toddler-young boy will quickly become as routine as a trip to the zoo. I suspect that’s the opposite of what she wants for Crow.

      • And like he’ll remember any of it at this age. It’s not like he’s soaking up the culture.

      • I have a son almost exactly her son’s age. We take him everywhere we go, along with his sister who is a few years older. It’s because living in our high-stress city is gross, we are successful people who want to see more of the world, and we have no choice (no family to dump the kids on). Our trips are very limited (no nightlife, but that’s actually okay with us), often disorganized, very humbling, and sometimes a little disastrous. Tugging our urchins through the streets of Trinidad de Cuba or some village outside Barcelona isn’t anything we brag about. We do it because we are selfish and we want to experience things. Frequent international travel (taking him out of school, making him feel like he is outside the rules) will ruin her child’s scope in many, many ways. At this age, she would be best putting him into an intense language school, making a nice home, and saving for college. On top of the carbon credits this “environmentalist” is using, she’s not paying attention to a kid who needs structure, and not another drum circle bonfire on a beach with some creeps.

    • Did he consent to having his damn mug plastered all over the internet for all eternity? The internet is forever, but Noodlebrains only lives for that instant gratification of Likes, no need to think of how harmful it has been for children of bloggers to groe up like this, nope, not at all.

  17. Just when you thought things were winding down, donk announces that Stanley Kubrick, Frances Ford Coppola, Katheryn Bigelow, Wes Craven, Steven Spielberg, John Carpenter, Brian De Palma, Alfred Hitchcock and Jordan Peele belong in jail and their work banned. Okay, television Taliban, what are we going to replace it with? Bravo documentaries? And isn’t there going to be overcrowding in killjoy jail with all the Girl Scout cookies, TVs and sugar? Between Scoldly and donkey, I’m kind of over millenial twits telling us how to live our lives from the rubble heap soapbox of their own dysfunction.

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