Friday Free-For-All: Donk, la Fraud, Jordacted

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Throwing this post up quickly! I’m sick and need to get back in bed.

A reader sent along the above photo from Donk’s Pinterest page. Such a bizarre comment! The new Bolt Bus girl?

In other news, Jena la Flamme surprised Antlerface in Switzerland. I’m guessing he posts NOTHING about her visit.

Finally, “Olivia,” Jordan Reid’s fawning assistant, wrote the most asslicking paean in the history of the internet. From “From an Outsider’s Point of View,” though I’m confused as to how Olivia is an outsider:

Olivia here, again – while Jordan is ruminating on the beauty she’s seeing, I thought I’d come by and share an interesting POV; I met Jordan over ten years ago via her blogmates on NonSociety (fun fact: I designed the NonSociety t-shirts…weird) and when Jordan began Ramshackle Glam, I naturally journeyed over here and I’ve been a loyal reader ever since. There have been so, so many posts of Jordan’s which have hit me in the feels, made me laugh, and taught me something; but, there have also been posts of Jordan’s which have left me scratching my head or with my hands over my eyes. I’d thought I’d share some of my all-time favorite Ramshackle Glam posts, and a few which made me shake my head. What’s your favorite post of Jordan’s? Which Ramshackle Glam post made you laugh or cry? I’d love to know!

1. The Great Impossible is one of those posts I bookmarked on my computer and would read almost daily. I almost memorized these lines, “Because marriage is hard – so hard that sometimes it feels impossible. It’s so consuming that when it isn’t working, there’s no lonelier place to be than next to the person you promised to spend forever with.” It felt so nice to know other women were having similar thoughts, but also could come back from the thoughts and grow and learn. I feel similar about this post, too. At the time of reading both of them, I felt so seen and heard. Marriage can be tough, and it’s okay to talk about the valleys as well as the peaks. In fact, Jordan talks about the fact that ‘we don’t talk about it’ in this post – another fave.

She rereads this drivel? What is my favorite Jordo post? OMG! I’ll have to think about it! Such a tough question. Right up there with “What’s your favorite Robert Altman film?” and “Which Anthony Trollope novel have you read the most times?”.

I think this idiot recently left something in the RBD comments about Jordo being such an “influencer.” Jesus, Olivia, get a fucking life.

49 COMMENTS

  1. “That girls sucks”? Is that what passes for irony in Donkworld?

    “Doubt they will last much longer?” Who are they?

    The only explanation is that her eyesight was blurred after several ours of Googling herself.

    Or drugs.

    Of course.

    Drugs are bad, mmmmmmmmmmmkay?

    • What she wrote was “girl that sucks.” Probably should have a comma in there after girl and before that. But with Donk, who knows?

      • You may be unto something.

        Her hatred of commas is well documented.

        (I LOVE YOU RAIN)

  2. What kind of life trajectory is someone on when they go from doing something, likely unpaid, at NonSociety to working as Jordan’s assistant TEN YEARS LATER?

    That’s a goddamn ramshackle wagon whereupon to hitch one’s star.

    • That revelation was an eyebrow raiser. THIS IS SUCCESS??

      Does Jordo pay her in Red Baron frozen pizza coupons?

      • I wonder what Glambo’s REAL financial situation is.

        Didn’t she make a ton of money with BOOK(S)?

        At least she finished them, or someone did, which is more that we can say about a certain Donkey, and they were printed on dead trees and sold in stores (unlike DJ Commode’s “best sellers”).

        Those mommy blogs are performance art, maybe she isn’t really broke and said that about the used school uniforms to get some sympathy from the audience.

        Success is a real problem for those lifestyle blogs, if you are really successful and start making tons of money and spending half of your life flying first class on book tours and doing the talk shows, you run out of material as you lose the “relatability” that attracted your followers.

        • I doubt she made a ton of money from her books, unless they were legit best-sellers. Most authors cannot give up their day jobs, and very few get six-figure advances

  3. Anyone who uses the phrase “the feels” unironically needs to be bitchslapped into the next week

  4. ha, i went to jordan’s instagram just now and shes pointing her toes in all her recent photos. judy and her and their dancers poses

    • There’s a cute guy on the boat that she’s been fawning over, so much so that she let him write a piece that she put on her site. It’s reads like it was written by the world’s most irritating high school environmentalist……so perfect for Jordan!

  5. What is donkey even talking about in that Pinterest comment?
    Is she speaking from the POV of, heh, one dancer to another?

    • It’s definitely strange, but it might not actually be her comment. When re-pinning something, any comment made by the person who originally created it stays on the re-pin unless you manually delete it. I often forget to do this, so there are pins of mine (yeah, please don’t hate me for using Pinterest ?) with comments I didn’t make and wouldn’t necessarily agree with.

      But her actually re-pinning that photo to Goddess Photoshoots is to laugh. As if she could ever do that pose, and her calves and ass would look huuuuuge. Sorry to body snark, but reality has to kick in sometime; most women don’t look like that and Donk especially. She’s cray cray.

      • Oh, it must be a comment from the original poster! I have little experience with Pinterest and a reader sent me this screenshot.

        • I want to think it is like an old person searching the google by writing “hemorrhoid remedies” as their Facebook status. It kind of sounds like something she would say, right?

          Most people just save the photo without changing the comments, so it is fun to write something stupid there so the dumb new comment travels with the photo. I know because I used to have this stupid Pinterest for a made up person.

      • I remember she made a big deal out of buying a similar picture of a dancer wearing a tutu when she was at her illegal AirBnb. This is what Donkey thinks she looks like when she dances.

  6. As a ballet dancer, Donkey, you don’t have the feet nor ankles to even go over the box anyway so take many seats and shut your shit spewing mouth.
    Signed,
    Dancers.

    • Let us never forget that a young Donk’s ballet teacher “gently” suggested that she switch over to modern dance once her hooves and general Donk-ness became apparent. I’ve seen Barbie dolls with better turnout than Donk.

  7. I am wondering if the Good Looking One is in Switzerland because he is barred from entering the US.

    A drug offense wouldn’t be unusual among the woo set, I would think.

  8. My favorite Jordan post was a response to a reader letter. “Someone” wrote in to ask if it was appropriate to attend a wedding wearing a long-line bralette as a shirt. Jordan said OF COURSE it is appropriate and provided a few example outfits.

    • Jordan seems like the kind of stealth bitch who dresses to steal attention from brides at weddings.

  9. So, I guess we’re approaching final countdown for Birthcray Madness!

    • Is birthcray tomorrow? I guess the actual countdown started back when Donk inevitably posted, “Only 93 days until I’m not 37 anymore! I can’t believe it! My dad is still wondering when I’m getting health insurance, hyuk hyuk hyuk!”

      Sure, Donk… you say bohemian, we say suburban hick supported by her parents.

      I wonder how the giant toddler has been spending her “birthday month”… probably begging Dodi to do endless fauxto shoots involving balloons and colors (bright!) and leaping in the air the way “happy people” do.

      • Birthycray is Thursday, February 28. If Dodi does put a ring on it, our burro will definitely be posting for all the cosmos to see.

        • And if he doesn’t, the rage will be pure comedy gold!

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