Updated: Shillmeister Jordan Reid Has A New Real Estate Agent Boyfriend, Gives Great Cryface, Gets More Botox, Fights Anxiety During A Vacation From Vacation-itis, Continues To Pimp Out Her Kids For Page Views

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My word, this exhibitionist/opportunist is annoying! She uploads glamour faxuto after glamour fauxto, occasionally with cryface, to Instagram, all the while bemoaning the “emotional rollercoaster” she’s experiencing. She’s even willing to exploit her child’s conflicted feelings about Momsers and Dadsers’ divorce for page views. I hope the kid grows up and sues Mommy Blogger Dearest.

Surely Kendrick and his attorney appreciated yet another soft focus cryface glamour pic in which billions are able to watch Jordo suffer for the ages. Maybe she and the kid just need a slice of Red Baron’s frozen cardboard to bring back the rainbow of happiness?

More exciting Jordo news! She recently Botoxed her neck and has a new boyfriend, though her commenters dared to judge the goddess for hooking up with him less than one month after her divorce was finalized. Currently, the Malibu princess is taking a break from Southern California and lazing away in New Guinea, presumably on her father’s dime. I am impressed with how she always manages to fit a shill into her Ramshackle Glam posts, even when it’s about her anxiety when flying to Hong Kong with Dadsers.

Oh my fucking god:

A few weeks ago, I shot a video with Tiny Tags (makers of the necklaces I wear everywhere, all the time) in which I talked about the emotional rollercoaster of these past few months. I may or may not have cried while filming it; I’m not telling.

Retro Bottom Picture! Because Jordo recently agreed with a commenter that Julia built her and she’s thankful to Julia to this day for her, ahem, stardom.

Update: No, nothing on Jordo but our dear Handbag was playing Scrabble with her husband when she drew five letters at once and was able to play them and one more letter on the R in “Rainy.” Mr. Handbag insisted they pretend it was a real word and leave Donk there.

87 COMMENTS

  1. First for this? I came here looking for a ring! I was hoping JABA would go full Gollum:”what has he gots in its pocketses?” Oh the riddles of the Donk. Don’t leave us in the basement dark!

    • Sorry, there is no new news on RingWatch 2009 and we need content. As soon as I or any RBDer hear anything, we’ll post!

  2. Arguably sadder than Julia bc kids are involved and bc Kendrick seems like a good father with good reason to be upset about how his kids are being raised and what the mother is teaching modeling for them.

    • I would be appalled, hurt, and pursue legal action if my ex-wife’s livelihood involved exploiting our divorce and our children on a regular basis.

        • I do not know but the frequent solo sobbing road trips to LA, followed by the move there seem a little off. She can work from anywhere. LA is more affordable that the Bay Area but I think most people would have ended up in some town closer to the dad rather than necessitate regular travel like that.

    • There’s Katti and Bear too , who are experiencting, sadly. More insufferable privilege to come

      • She’s pregnant and due on June 1. Crossing fingers that Donk isn’t preggers, too!

    • The Nefertiti Lift.

      I’ve never stopped following Jordan. I find her fairly benign most of the time. She is doing way too much to her face.

      • I’ve paid very little attention to her over the years, but there’s an RBD lurker who’s an avid Jordo follower and sends me links to her most outrageous shills.

        The commercial for Tiny Tags is fucking unbelievable. Why is she always trading on her oh-so-emothional self? Here’s another cryface fauxto! Doing cartwheels on the beach in Malibu gives me the sadz!

  3. Is it possible to post a photo here? It’s a for real thing that happened in Scrabble last night, and, like seeing another RBDer in the wild, is evidence the universe has a sense of humor.

  4. I have been following this shit show!! What a trainwreck. You think the train has wrecked, and it just keeps on wrecking. I can’t look away.

    My hunch is that Jordan is telling the truth when she says (paraphrasing) “the words just fell out of my mouth,” when describing the moment she said she needed to separate from Kendrick. This gal is all impulse. She does not actually think through the implications / consequences of her actions before acting.

    When Jordan’s anxiety is high (which is basically all the time–her spectrum ranges from anxiety to high anxiety to panic), she goes into a black & white mode of thinking (all/nothing, good/bad, etc.), and makes super rash decisions that are based only on her desire to quell her anxiety in that specific moment. Then she digs in her heels and commits to these decisions because turning back would require admitting she’s a complete mess and needs help. This is a pattern that isn’t helpful or healthy for anyone, but it’s extra-extra-yikes for an adult person who is also responsible for other people, especially small people who are learning how to navigate the world.

    Couples therapy was Kendrick’s idea. Whatever was going on between them, he clearly wanted to work through it like an adult. He seems pretty grounded and steady.

    Jordan has an incredibly co-dependent personality. Whenever commenters allude to her codependency issues, she interprets these comments as questions re: whether or not she legitimately earns her own money as a single woman / whether or not the men in her life are always taking care of her. What I see, though, has nothing to do with money. She cannot spend any time alone without going bonkers. She cannot make decisions without someone else’s (doesn’t have to be a man, just someone who she values / admires / holds in higher esteem than she holds herself) feedback and approval. Her identity and her self-esteem are completely defined by other people.

    She doesn’t know who she is. She wants the soul-searching / breaking-open narrative that is a v hot and sell-able product right now, but cannot commit to doing the actual work that would get her over to the other side.

    The worst, though, is this sitch with the new bf. She said her first date with him was sometime around New Years, and three weeks later she had already introduced him to her kids?? And now she introduces him to her blog, saying “it’s very very new but [….followed by some inane drivel alluding to her knowing that he definitely has staying power].”

    Jesus fucking Christ, woman. I know you haven’t dated in like ten years, but you’re living in a fantasy land. This guy, and your connection with him, is literally a projection of your fantasies. You think you know him but you don’t actually know him. You know the parts of him that you want to know and the parts that he wants you to know. And you definitely have not spent enough time together to know if you’re compatible. A “we get along great and sex is hot and life is so magical now” vibe and learning whether or not you can weather hardships together are two completely different things. She’s trying to use mature adult language to describe this “very very new” thing, but it is legit insanity. Her kids are going to be so confused.

    Also she tried (I think this was in the comments on her blog) to argue that jumping in this relationship was, in fact, not “too fast.” But the reason she thinks this is bc she is SO uncomfortable being alone that four months (or however long it’s been) has felt like fucking eternity to her. This is not unlike the day she spent alone at Franscesca’s and legit did not know what to do with herself. The longest day ev-er.

    She needs a very good therapist and I need to get a life. Presently I’m occupying the black hole where my MFA thesis should be…..and doing this instead? Oof. Back to work.

    • The catch-22 for people like her is right in the middle of your comment: if she did the work that would get her over to the other side, she’d have zero interest in the soul-searching narrative that’s really hot right now, and thus she could no longer be a commodity. Codependency is a beast for anyone, but I think it’s much worse for people intelligent or articulate enough to convince themselves (and others) they’re earnest, they’re doing a scorching assessment of themselves regularly, and they’re free of their old patterns. Those are the ones who don’t know how ill they really are until they find themselves in a real trauma, and are destroyed by it.

    • Ugh. I’m a child of divorce and I’ve been through divorce and I’ve spent tons of time in support groups for divorced children and divorced women. Nothing says TRAINWRECK like introducing your young children to a new beau. Because, guess what? There will always be a new beau, and with each introduction the kids will get more cynical and angry. And that’s actually the healthiest best case scenario, because there are many worse things that can happen with never-married men who gravitate toward women with young children. This woman needs serious help.

      • I’m flashing on Mommie Dearest, specifically that scene in which a young Christina gives a scotch & soda to her umpteenth “uncle” in a creepy, flirtatious manner that’s clearly modeled on her mother. ::shudder::

    • Where is Glambo’s post about the new boyfriend?

      I can’t seem to find it anywhere on her blog.

      ss;sf

      • I know she put it up and took it down the other day, maybe she did that again. She probably wants to have access to the internet so she can jump in the comments ASAP.

        • It went down shortly after I’d seen the post. The encomium to Donk was among the comments, many of which were quite critical of Jordo.

          • Elizabeth Taylor jordanreid • 5 days ago
            Jordan, I admire (truthfully envy) that you make a living from your blog. If anything, I would think it would be difficult for a man to live in your shadow. I don’t assume anyone else is “taking care of you.” If I HAD TO choose someone to give credit to for your success, I’d give it to Julia Allison before any man.

  5. She posted a photo on her Instagram stories posing on the boat she’s on with her dad and she’s wearing the ittiest bittiest red bikini that she was definitely spilling out of. On a trip with her dad for his birthday.

    I know she’ll never explain, but I’m so curious about what her kids are doing for the 2 weeks she’s gone. Miss school for two weeks and go with their dad? I thought maybe she’d hire a nanny for 2 weeks but she posted that the kids were all packed up as well as all the food in her house….so where did they go?

    • Hire a nanny? She couldn’t afford a pre-school uniform for her kid, yes? Is Tiny Tags paying her in … cheap jewelry?

      • No money for school uniforms but it’s suddenly available for neck lifts and botox. She’s insufferable and continues to dress like she has her pre-boob job tits and she looks so much older and desperate for it.

        • One suspects she gets a lot of her clothing, cosmetics, and possibly injectables in exchange for pushing products. That noted, she still seems to have limited funds re: her children’s welfare. I find her quite appalling.

  6. OT: Yoo hoo, masculines, I’m a fun bithexual and self-proclaimed gold digger who’d love to perform with her best girlfriends JUST FOR YOU! Find me at Live Cam Goddesses!

    An RBDer sent along info that Jena is trying to rent out her room in that Mill Valley commune from Feb. 18 – March 18. A surprise visit to Switzerland? Expect lots of cryface.

  7. I’ve always thought Jordacted was beautiful. I really hope she doesn’t begin messing with her face in a donk way.

  8. Those poor kids. Dad buckled down, gave up his rockstar dreams and got with the program. But Jordo can’t get over “losing” It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and her chance to be a “quirky” stahhhhh.

  9. I really like Jordan and have probably read every post she’s written since the Nonsociety days. She’s smart, a good writer, and genuinely very nice (I had a very lovely interaction with her in person once, and have received warm and thoughtful letters the few times I’ve written her for recs or whatever over the years.)

    Shit seems to have hit the fan the last couple years though, and I really hope she can get it back together. The thing that gets me most is this nonstop surgery and botox and eyelashes and on and on. She used to have a very genuine and comfortable presence on camera, and now she has this super fake, posing, manic quality that is sad to see. It all seems really indicative of a deep internal unrest. I hope she has a good, thoughtful therapist she can talk to, and that she’ll come out stronger on the other side.

    • While the cosmetic stuff is hard to see, the hardest for me are the treatment of her children. That photo of her daughter going through some real emotion and missing her dad… well, that’s just not “share with the world” material. Informed consent; these kids don’t get a chance.

    • I’ve paid little attention to Jordan over the years, but recently noted her RBNS/RBD coverage during 2009 & 2010 was very positive. Jacy and JP cearly liked her very much, as did most of the commenters. That noted, I find this Malibu incarnation repellent.

      • I think I liked her for that reason, too. Others thought she was good people. And, she was a donk victim, not so much an accomplice. I don’t have a lot of wedding stuff left. I paid for my whole wedding, and I just have the littlest bit of keepsakes left. If someone stole one of them, I would be devastated. Yeah, I don’t have rich parents, not any parents really, to buy me a house or give me a wedding present. Daddy’s dead, and ma’s, well, she should be in a locked treatment facility. So, not exactly the same, but I still empathized with her.

        • I came here well after she left Donk’s orbit. What exactly was their rift about? I read the archives and Donk’s blog and I couldn’t figure out what happened. Was it something about the Aspen trip?

          • Yes. It was a long time ago, but as I recall, she sort of nagged/pushed Jordo and Kendrick to go with her and Prom King to Aspen. For some reason, she and PK were able to fly back on time but Jordo and Kendrick were stuck there a few more days and he had a job to get back to. I’m trying to find the old post about it, which will explain better

          • Psych! I’m currently cataloging the Apsen posts from March 2010. Donkey twisted a reluctant Jordan’s arm re: the vacation from vacation-itis. So she and Kendrick made the trek to Colorado along with Donk’s family. (Dadsers shot the notorious 4 Non-Blondes lipdub on this trip.) As Unicorn notes, Jordo and Kendrick couldn’t get back in time for his job and were at the mercy of Julia because Prom King had PAID for everything. Donk said ta-ta and Jordo and Kendrick were left to fend for themselves. Sort of like photographer Michael MacDonald during birthcray 2009.

          • Thanks, Gilly! Didn’t PK buy the tickets in advance, so that Jordo and Kendrick were guilted into going? Like “We got these unrefundable tickets for you, what do you mean you don’t want to go???”

          • No, the Baugher’$ weren’t there on this trip.

            Donk did indeed strong arm [JORDACTED] in Ken doll, supposedly insisting that they would have to pay Prop Thing back for airfare already purchased.

            Lasagna and Meghannaise also went — Donk unashamedly co-opted whichever articles of the other girls gear that she wanted to wear for that day’s fauxtos of her posing on the edge of pkg lots, etc (never doing any real skiing).

            Can’t remember if it was intentional that [JORDACTED] and Kendrick stay a day longer, maybe they did so as to have an actual day of vacation on their vacation, but anyway, weather changed and they got stranded at the airport and were late getting back which cost Kendrick his job and meanwhile Donk tweeted some tone deaf insensitive crap because asshat is an asshat and they had already been served there are useful purpose next to her at that point (which was to be a cock block to Prop Thing).

          • (Shit, sorry — Siri’s v-t-t effs me up every time — use your imagination on all ^ that)

          • Brayella, you’re correct re: Baughers not being on this Aspen trip. The 4 Non-Blondes video was shot in 2008. It’s confusing because a pic of Dadsers at the airport is among the Aspen 2010 pics on Donk’s old blog.

          • Gilly, I bet you were thinking of when Dunkee took it upon herself to invite the whole Baugher clan to stay at Prop Thing’s apartment when they came in for her birthcray party. Remember the fauxto of Mom$er grooming Langdon on her host’s kitchen counter?

            And people get offended when we refer to these abode-crashing dog-butt-wielding cretins as mid-west hicks.… Go figure.

          • Oh, and I think Dad$er did too go to SF in 2010… Didn’t he dine with the Ugly Zuckling rents and the Meghannaiseshahs? I feel like I remember there being fauxtographic evidence of Pettifogger breaking bread w/ Snowflake…

  10. Y’all over analyzing this way too much

    People who go out of their way to record themselves while they are crying about something and further go out of their way to broadcast it online are only doing so to acheive a reaction

    Said reaction is almost always sympathy for their cause in general and/or guilt tripping a particular person who has crossed them and/or swaying third parties to take their side in whatever dispute or drama is at hand

    It is what narcissists do best

  11. are there not laws that prohibit you from putting kids in commeercials without fisrst having the consent of thier parents?

    And what about signing off on who and how compensation is earned off the kids appearing in commercials?

    I thought california passed a bunch of laws about this decades ago?

    • There are certainly laws regarding commercials airing on broadcast and cable channels. I would assume SOMETHING is on the books re: the internet. Can anyone enlighten us here?

  12. I’m starting to wonder what kind of child support bonus Dadsers promised Donkey if she didn’t post anything this month.

  13. OT: At this point, Jena’s behavior reminds me of Judy showing up at Avocado’s concerts unannounced.

    Jena la Flamme
    7 hrs ·
    A flash back to the weekend I learned snow-boarding. Now I’m getting on a plane to the snowy Swiss Alps to snowboard with Sacha Nielsen again. Long distance love no more! I get to hold him in my arms. Hooray!

    • Just came to comment on that. It’s a gut punch to read ’cause gurl, he just ain’t that into you. Hurts to read her being so desperate with that disease. No one should be so desperate when it comes to him, except if it’s to get rid of him. It’s wincing to watch.

      One can tell the woos don’t give a damn about each other, as if they did, someone would tell Patty Precious she’s making a spectacle of herself with her invisible husband mangina. Gurl, he gone. Literally. Cut bait. Seriously, throw that back, cut bait and call it a day.

      Honey, take it from Miranda. You gotta get it together. As she said, “My mama came from a softer generation. Where you get a grip and bite your lip just to save a little face. Go and fix your make up girl it’s, just a break up. Run an’ hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady ’cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together even when you fall apart. But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart. Powder your nose, paint your toes, line your lips and keep ’em closed. Cross your legs, dot your I’s and never let ’em see you cry.” That “cross your legs, line your lips and keep them closed” is especially good advice. Might want to take those photos down while you’re at it, as well. Remember, it’s never too late to pack it up, move home and start again. Trust, you could not do worse.

  14. OHHH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!!! I can’t get approved on GOMI for some reason and I have been DYING to talk to someone about her nosedive off the cliff of insecurity. I have followed and genuinely liked Jordan since she split from NonSociety and always felt like she was a real human doing her best and sharing her life but THIS LATEST SHIT IS INSANE. She is forever in a state of high panic, flinging herself from one cheap renovation to the next, madly yelling about how hard her life is now. And like, GIRL, YOU DID THIS. I understand wanting to live where you want. I do. But you decided to have children, and those children have an involved father whose job ties him to particular area. You couldn’t have waited 6 months? A year? Even TWO? To move to LA? Like, let the dust settle, let your kids adjust. And this trip!!!! My god, the trip!!!! Again, you couldn’t have said to your father, dad–I love you, but right now is not a good time to take a two week trip away from my already traumatized children? That was not possible?

    It’s just so frustrating because I like her as much as you can like someone you don’t know – she’s always been very gracious in the comments, and nice to me when I emailed her asking a question – and she seems to really love her family and kids, and always seems to be trying to make every day life fun for them. But she has gone off the rails and instead of dealing with it is just pumping her face full of fillers. I CANNOT!!!

  15. She does really seem to be flailing. She’s said on a number of occasions that SHE blew up their relationship. I don’t know if that means anything other than that she pulled the trigger on asking for a separation. But, the move, to me, is crazy. The rent excuse made no sense to me. Neither did the “I have to do my job from LA” when she’d done very well working from wherever she was living right up until the divorce.

    She has also said, though, that she felt the burden of pretty much doing everything, but, also, that she likes things done her way. She seems really uptight to me (and this only since having children, as I never got that vibe before) and very resentful of things that she sort of did to herself. For instance, if you encourage your husband to go to Yale, then how can you resent him for also not being home with you and the kids? If you say that you want home renovations done to your exact specifications, then how can you resent it when your husband lets you take care of that aspect of your life together?

    A few times they went to therapy and she freaked out yelling and crying and told her therapist at one session that this was not the kind of person she was. Her therapist, while telling her that her behavior was innappropriate, also said that he’d had no proof as of yet that that wasn’t the kind of person she was. And all the commenters went on and on about how horrible this therapist was to say that and how he didn’t make her feel safe in therapy and belittled her. And, I thought, wow, he’s probably a great therapist that she should actually listen to. He didn’t say she was an awful person. He said that he has not proof that her style of communication with Kendrick is not ranting and raving. It’s not like she’s seeing someone because of childhood molestation or some other trauma. She is going for marriage counseling and maybe she should have paid attention to the one man who was willing to tell her she wasn’t behaving appropriately. The fact that every therapy session involved her yelling, accusing and freaking out was probably a very clear indicator that A) she has issues with control and B) she may have been a very large part of the problems with she and Kendrick lacking effective ways to communicate with one another.

    • why are people making 1001 excuses for this behavior?

      if what you say is true, it is textbook narcissist-bully behavior

      a therapist who has seen it all can probably see through it immediately

      • People are making excuses because:

        1) They are overinvested in the Jordo of 2010.

        2) She is pretty and thus gets a pass. Commonly referred to as The Nisha Effect.

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