Christopher Life, Née Cory Tanner Glazier, Won’t Stop Crying Until You Agree to ReBirth Humanity (For $157)

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Wow. More psychedelics, Cory Christopher? Our sensitive masculine’s commitment to feel – do the woos really need to engage in more feelings? – includes co-hosting, with Adelle Juliet and annoying-as-fuck performance artist Isabella Braveheart, née Konold, an assembly in Austin today and tomorrow. Something called OneNation Party USA that essentially hopes to rework a bipartisan political system into one big woo political party. This event is so secretive, the location will only be disclosed upon receipt of your payment!

Oh, Christopher! Your tears emote for the ages! If only you’d cried like this when Donkey introduced you to Robin Baugher, HIVE alumna. She surely would have invested in MediMeals.

via GIPHY

Bottom Video! Spot Donkey in the feminine HIVE:

52 COMMENTS

  1. You’d be crying too with that muskrat-looking pelt on your head all the time.

  2. This is the problem and why woos never get better. Because it’s too pedestrian for them to have something that the rest of us – and all the mental health professionals in the world – label as depression.

    How about you stop mining the depths of your overwhelm and call a thing a thing, Cory? You are suffering from depression. Go get some help that doesn’t involve a cup of cacao, the HeARTist stylings of Jess Magic and her ukulele, a dildo table and some antlers.

    • I don’t know if he has depression. I think he, and all these woos, would rub gasoline in their eyes and take a pic, and call it crying, if it would make them a quick buck.

      I do agree, though, that it’s disgusting as hell to manipulate people into thinking paying him $157 or whatever, is a cure for depression, rather than seeking real help from a doctor. That is seriously disgusting behavior.

      • I don’t see depression here. Members of this “tribe” are narcissists, druggies, and con artists, and I tend to see every woo performance as incorporating elements from all three subject positions.

      • I think the scam part is just as gross as everyone else but, I also think a lot of these people suffer from terminal ennui. That’s why they are always looking for, paying for and charging for, something that they don’t ever find. That and, “stored pain” that he’s apparently never confronted but is now coming out in waves of tears? Shame on all of them for trying to get rich off of it but, I do think a lot of these people have much deeper problems.

        • They all have “issues,” which they then attempt to monetize, but I don’t see Christopher or Skankatron or la Fraud or any of these folks ever being hospitalized for clinical depression.

          • How can you make money if it is just a never ending circle jerk of woos, paying woos who employ woos who pay other woos? Lots of mummies and daddies are financing this idiocy instead of their retirement accounts. Britt should start a support group/financial planning group for siblings of Julia’s tribe.

          • A lot of the grifts are also staggeringly similar. I suspect they hope to rope in a couple of idiots with disposable cash and comp the rest in exchange for social media fist bumps.

  3. Everybody in that Hive shot is wearing jackets and sweaters and capes, and there’s Donkey with her bare midriff out as usual.

  4. “This isn’t my head I’ve got on now. I think this is something that used to belong to Walt Whitman.”

    –Dorothy Parker

      • This may not end up being a popular opinion here, but I feel sorry for him, because he actually tried to do something that I think was a good idea and was beneficial in the way that fits their worldview. It wasn’t a scam or a grift, and he worked hard to make a go of this. But so many businesses fail, even good ones, for many reasons. When he was trying to move to Santa Barbara, it did seem a little sketchy that he might not be managing his finances. I would think he probably spoke to woo tribemate Rebecca Jean, who seems to have succeeded in building an actual profitable food-based business. Anyway, I’ve been in the failed end of a business dream in the past, being a casualty of the dot com bust, and I was depressed and cried a lot then too. I can’t fault him for trying.

    • Oh Brayella, that New Yorker article was really fascinating, has a lot of buzz. Yeah I always wondered about that guy, he just seemed to fall into a 2 million dollar book deal so effortlessly, and I understand the book is slight and not especially well written. Derivative. I’m not proud of the schadenfreude I feel, but this guy’s lies were really pathological. Yikes.

  5. Two right feet and the right eye… That’s all that’s missing from the third picture down WRT the toupeecabra who took up residence on Cory Glazier Tanner AKA Christopher Life’s noggin. Or am I the only one seeing it?

    #TopherGopherIsTheNewDucktail

  6. Donkey has a name tag and a bunch of gear and a sign near her, which kind of leads me to think she is being hired in some capacity for doing other than making outdated presentations on hacking the media. It looks like it’s become her new Camp Grounded.

    • I definitely think she’s doing something other than the occasional BORG talk about PR. Donk seems to have Allis wrapped around her little finger, what with getting Dadsers a gig discussing something far outside his field and getting Cailleach Dé (it’s pronounced Kay Lock Day) a gig that then morfed into COO.

  7. Oh, Chris, honey. A stiff Makers Mark and espresso will fix you right up.

    Is this stuff the new version of “anime vampire with brimming teary eyes” gifs, except it’s actual fauxtos of middle-aged Woos on Twatter now, instead of cute avatars of emo teens on Tumblr? I watched this chap’s eyes in his photos for way too long, expecting them brim and tear. Much of disappoint.

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