Noodles Is Hoppin’ Mad At Doreen Virtue, Hay House Honey, For Turning Wingnut Christian & Damning The Woos Straight To Hell


Oh, the humanity!

Nisha Moodley
8 hrs ·
I knew Doreen Virtue had become Christian, but didn’t realize she was also expressing xenophobic and religiously intolerant views.

Telling people to stay away from practices like yoga or sweat lodges is saying that the ancient healing practices of Indigenous peoples is “wrong”, and I won’t stand for it.


This is so hurtful.

Read Jani Franck’s comment below. We may be inclined to question her stability or hypothesize about what happened that sparked her dramatic shift, but this is what can result from the toxic cocktail of appropriation, and the misuse and separation of an individual tool/practice from its roots. For example, yoga isn’t “new age” — it may be widely appropriated, but true yoga is an ancient and comprehensive wisdom stream. It’s a whole way of living that is connected with a people.

For anyone who loves/loves her “Goddess Guidance Cards”, check out Meggan Jane Watterson’s “Divine Feminine Oracle”. It teaches the stories of women / deities from around the world – many of whom you may have never heard of. It’s absolutely beautiful and full of integrity!

“The toxic cocktail of appropriation”? Have you been paying any attention to your fellow goddesses, Noodles?

For some larfs, click on Doreen Virtue’s guide to “innocent” new age texts and practices that aren’t so innocent. Did you know reading a Harry Potter book is detestable to God? I’m so upset that I may need to consult my Green Goddess Guidance Cards!

Still no word on Noodle’s Super Blood Wolf Moon Eclipse – did anyone show up? – or plans to extend the three-month commitment container with Noah No Vowels. It’s worrisome!


  1. Gosh, I love it when they eat their own.

    And perfection for the photo. Day of the Dead is obviously a meaningful experience for the Irish-Australian Flimme Flamme!

    • Pot, meet Kettle. I enjoyed this staged outrage, too. Followed by shills for Paltrow-esque horseshit. However, I deleted the links to the divine oracle and green goddess cards. ::pats self on back::

      • I am concerned about your screen name, as much as I love it, dear Gilly. I think David Tutera’s style might be to subtle for the donkzilla. Have you considered a position with Kevin Lee?

        • Good point! How will I help Donk execute the most important day in every girl’s life if I stay with Tutera? Though no one should really use a resume in this day and age, I’m emailing copies of such to Lee and other splashy wedding gods and goddesses.

  2. That bottom photo is like it was staged as a PSA warning against inappropriate conduct and garb and cultural appropriation and what not to do for employees at google or a large non-profit regarding party themes.

    • I believe it’s from Bear and Kitty Kittay’s three-day wedding. Nothing spells woo conscious coupling container like over-the-top excess!

    • It looks like Tragic Johnson is laughing that LaPhlegm is protecting Noodles from the toxicity that is Donkey.

  3. I love it when a room full of unemployed white women lecture me on appropriation and tolerance.

    • Me too! I particularly treasure the intellectual acumen of layabout Julia Allison.

    • i just don’t get it

      what is it with these women who honestly think that doing stuff naked or in your underwear or whatever is so “empowering”

      it would be like me cutting the grass naked or shoveling snow in my underwear and telling my guy friends about it , and then expecting them to be all like ” you go bro! get it guy!”

      • The “goddess” investment and sexual acting out among these women reach new levels of pathology every gregdamn day. I’m steaming my yoni! Here’s a video of my menstrual cycle – so inspiring! Find your turn-on and behave like a horny vixen in the workplace! I’m amazed some of these loons haven’t been institutionalized.

      • I think it’s all about trying to get the attention of the masculines

  4. Somehow this reminds me that I recently re-read “Hunters and Gatherers” by Francine Prose. Great fun. Most of the characters had real non-griftery jobs, though.

    • I love that novel. She seems to have been sharpening her claws for the satire of Guided Tours of Hell, Blue Angel, a number of books that followed. She’s fabulous.

      • I recently saw the film version of Blue Angel, which is titled Submission. Something of a mixed bag, with Stanley Tucci doing a fine job as the professor who can’t set boundaries. But the young woman playing the blue angel wasn’t particularly convincing and I wish they’d given Kyra Sedgwick more screen time.

      • I never read any of her other books but judging by H&G, I’m sure they are worth a read.

        Isis Moonwagon is what many woo goddesses we talk about here would like to be, I gather.

    • Thanks, you exciting burro! I didn’t even know this DJ page existed. Any thoughts on the second greatest love the world has ever known? I’ll embed:

      • Very interesting! I haven’t had time yet to check out DJ Jean Gray’s page and wonder what hilarity awaits me.

      • seconded. iirc, ecstatic dance has been moved to the converted church close to washington square park. (sorry, i will not take one for the team and attend…)

      • It’s almost as if LaPhlegm is pulling a Mulia Mallison by posting pretend-work on social media so that the parent$ will send the next trust fund check… is so sad when insurance scams don’t work out

      • One Rhinestone Short you’re right! Thought I had definitive proof the husband didn’t abscond.

        Definitely an old photo from 1+ year ago.

        • Also, the mixcloud memento of that night, to which Jena provides a link, was uploaded seven months ago.

  5. “I won’t stand for it.” The smug is so strong in this woo. Noodles Smuggly is just pissed that that lady’s new grift may interfere with Smuggly’s johnny-come-lately grift, which is actually that lady’s old grift. “No! *stomps foot* You do not get to move onto new gifts when I am still appropriating your old ones. It’s so hurtful.” They’re all so positive and uplifting until anyone disagrees with them. Then, the masks come off, and they’re just angry, demanding, lazy, hippy, Millenial grifters, with healthy sides of entitlement, condescension and self-righteousness.

    Do you think they’re really so gone that they don’t see the hypocrisy of their hate campaign? How does irony not rise up and strangle them to death with their own charging cord when wackjob woo, free-bleeding onto a rug while simultaneously planning their next platypus duck moon howl and open field free-feed dinner wearing nothing but the ceremonial headress of their spirit animal while furiously typing condemnation of a middle-aged white woman who found Jesus and wanting to tell people about it as having “lost her shit”. Back when Candice Cameron and Anne Rice did it, it was already pretty passe.

    I know you catladies have your nominees for worst woo, but this white girl who makes a living pedaling absurdly-priced cannibalized culture ceremonies and spends her free time attending absurdly-priced cannibalized culture ceremonies in elaborate cannibalized costumes and is able to squeeze in as much condemnation for other women she feels are appropriating her cannibalized culture gets my vote.

  6. Noodles is at least half Caucasian right? And hey son is at least 3/4. Yet she is lecturing everyone on appropriation, yoga culture, etc.

    I wonder how much she actually makes from hey grift versus how dependent she is on that note I Noah guy.

  7. Wow, bottom picture. Someone went from the cover to actual wire(d).

    • This. And criticizing others for doing the same but with a different approach makes you a hypocritical idiot. There may be some openings in the Trump White House for you if the grift stops paying.

    • It looks very much like they are all dressed in costumes from Southeast Asia and mocking those costumes. I don’t want to think that they are doing this, but it’s what it looks like.

    • Dear Goddess,

      Please watch over Momsers, Dadsers, and the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility, and bring me more plant medicine.

      With deep devotion,
      A Donkey (Rainbow)

  8. Top photo contest.

    Two aging privileged dummies seeking to lock down a man, any man One got preggers the other didn’t. Guess which.

  9. I don’t know much about photography, but the photographer certainly seems to capture people the way they want to be seen. Not the way I’d want to be seen, but she gets their schtick. The wedding video with Sasha and Jenna was probably exactly what they wanted. It’s so sad now.

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