Updated: Ease On Down The Road With Jess Magic As She Honors Martin Luther King, Jr. & Herself

88
3119

Posted last night:

I’ve been working on a story to share with you that will eventually be modified for my book, Rise of the Heartist. On this day where we celebrate one of the real life heroes of our time, it felt relevant to share…in reverence for the Reverend.

My favorite researcher, Brené Brown​, says that vulnerability is “the only path to courage”. So fucking true.

A couple of nights ago I did something that terrified me more than my first time getting on stage as a skinny, awkward 7th grader belting out the opening song in “The Whiz”.

I was asked to speak at event and share a bit about my mission…to rise up a modern renaissance of “heartists” and storytellers who can help humanity remember how to create from the heart and live from love.
I was guided to open with a very intimate story of discovering my own personal heartistry, which happens to be one of the most tender (and heart-breaking) moments of my life.

It didn’t actually make any sense. The event was in a 500-person concert venue with an enormous bar, multiple levels, and hundreds of people who came to dance to rock music.
It would have been so much easier to say as few words as possible (knowing that half of the audience wasn’t in a space to really receive what I was sharing). I knew that I could get up there, jump around, get people to playfully connect, sing, laugh and dance, freestyle a little bit, let the main act take it home, roll off the stage on my knee scooter (for those of you who don’t know, I have a broken foot ;-)) and call it a night.

But this mission-o-mine has been ripening on the vine for years, and I knew this was an opportunity to grow beyond my comfort zone. To risk approval. To face rejection.
And I did.
In fact, while I was singing I heard one lady yell,

“Sing a song!!!”

She shouted this right in the middle of me sharing the vulnerable story, which is pretty much equivalent to saying “Shut your freakin’ trap and get on with it!!!” 😉

But there were some people there who were really ready for this message. I believe that most humans would actually feel more freedom, joy and love in their lives and be a bigger contribution to the planet if they spent as much time in their hearts as they do in their minds.
I can’t help but feel that I play a role in this shift.
I also know that the only way I am going to grow as a leader, as a speaker, and as a person, is to put myself out there and do what scares me. As my friend Clay Hebert said, “You don’t get the muscles by reading fitness books”… you have to get your butt in the gym.

I know that I am, as are many of you are, designed as a way paver…experimenting with new ways of being, based on environmental factors that are entirely different than the survival needs of our predecessors. We are psychologically programmed to be risk-averse when it comes to social rejection…and I am still, at the age of 38, uncovering tendencies to choose what feels good over what feels true.

But there is a cost that we incur when we modify ourselves, deny the gifts we’ve been given, and withhold the truth that we know, which is far greater than losing the favor of our peers.
It is the subtle dishonoring of our lifeforce.
The precious gift from our creator…and when we get switched on to knowing how sacred that is, we begin to lose our own approval every time we sidestep the opportunities to share.

I’m not here to coast by. I’m here to shape culture, and to offer myself undefended, so that hopefully, others can take down their defenses and be seen…and then perhaps we can actually connect with each other and feel the empathy, admiration, adoration and love that is so desperately needed on the planet at this time.

Have you ever noticed that the more we challenge ourselves to remove our masks and share the real stuff, the lighter and more relaxed we feel?

Have you ever noticed, that the more someone else offers up their fears, insecurities, and character-shaping moments of choice, the more respect and compassion we feel?

At the end of the day, whether our “gym” was the stage, a conference, the boardroom, or the bedroom, the more we invest in the muscles that take down the armor, rather than hold it up (or in), and the stronger we become.
It is this strength that helps us develop an unwavering connection to what’s being asked of us…even when it doesn’t make sense…even when it’s not exactly what everyone wants to hear…even when we’re defying the very voices that we’ve relied on to keep us safe for most of our adult lives. It is also this strength that leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. emanated and embodied that shifted an entire culture into way of being that so many people deemed impossible.

********************************************************
On this day where we honor one of the greatest examples of leadership in human history, I dedicate that my fears become my fuel. That my passion transforms into inspired action. That together we strip away the masks that we thought would help us be accepted, in exchange for the realness and courage that will allow us to be celebrated, loved and remembered…by one or by many.

In Loving Remembrance,

J

Photo captured from a video clip by the illustrious and rarely on FaceBook ~ Petey Pineapple

Oh boy. Does this woman not know how to paragraph? More worrisome, Jaahass played Dorothy and screeched “Ease on Down the Road” in a middle school production of “The Whiz”[sic]? Let’s hear it for authenticy! Her woo penchant for cultural appropriation began early. And I just Kant with the MLK lead-in to Jaahass patting herself on the back for her vulnerability and courage when muttering some gibberish about being a heARTist instead of singing some gibberish with her surgically modified throat.

Hey, Magic One! We’re sure looking forward to “Portrait of the fARTist as a Young Dilettante.” Surely Donkey & her intellectual acumen, not to mention all those burned bridges, will get you a hefty advance from St. Martin’s. And if you can’t turn anything in on time and have to give back the money, well, that’s what a crucible does!

Full Disclosure: Petey Pineapple is Jaahass’s current fuck toy.

Update: MLK’s spiritual daughter wants YOU to become more authentic … by opening up your throat. #brokewoo #scamdrop

88 COMMENTS

  1. FIRST?

    It’s “The WIZ” not “The WHIZ.” Unless she means she was in a musical about processed cheese in a can. Which she might.

      • laffin @ “Sankt Greg.” It reminds me of the time I was on a guided tour of a castle and the guide, a nice but somewhat dim girl, referred to one of the statues as “Saint Jesus.” (She didn’t correct herself, either.)

        • I wanted to do something with Sankt and I confess someone else did it first but it’s still cracking me up.

          • Yes, I believe it was the brilliant Sankt Rat in the Sidewalk, but that doesn’t make your handle any less awesome. Hell, we could all become Sankt something. Great work.

          • Sometimes it just happens. One minute you’re plain Gilly Blake, and the next minute you’re Sankt Gilly. So weird! How does one deal with canonization when one’s not dead?!

          • I honor you, Sankt Rat and Sankt Gilly. I have opened my pineal gland and am really seeing you in your full glorious canonization.

          • I am hosting a yoni steaming this evening in honor of our ascension. Chairs will be supplied but be sure to bring along $40 if you want a cuppa cacao as you sit on the throne.

          • Also, bring your investment account #s, social security #, and mother’s maiden name.

  2. I thought the opening song from The Whiz was “Golden Showers.”

    After skimming that tl;dr she wrote, I can see why she got heckled. She is exhausting.

    • Can you imagine sitting in the audience and having to listen to the gibberish emanating from that horribly whiny voice? Life in hell.

    • Right? TL;DR: I was hired to be an opening act at woo night and instead I told a long and rambling story about me, me, me and some lady yelled at me from the audience so I am just like MLK. The End.

          • I have a Brie, a song to sing
            To help me grift just anything
            If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
            You can take the future even if you fail
            I believe in aya
            Something good in everything for free
            I believe in playa
            When I know the time is right for me
            I’ll play the uke, I’ll make you puke
            My vocal fry, will make you cry
            I just don’t get reality
            And my desperation makes it worth the while
            Pushing through the grifters still another mile

          • A poet has been born on RBD! I am in awe, Sankt Greg. If Mrs. Avocado discovers you are the TRUE creator, she will leave Blockhead and demand a conscious coupling.

  3. In fact, while I was singing I heard one lady yell,

    “Sing a song!!!”

    She shouted this right in the middle of me sharing the vulnerable story, which is pretty much equivalent to saying “Shut your freakin’ trap and get on with it!!!” ?

    So which one is it, was she singing, or sharing a story?

    “Pick a lane!!!“

      • I saw it too and assumed any confusion was courtesy of sloppy writing. Jaahass didn’t bother to properly paragraph, so she surely neglected to proofread this drivel. Can’t wait for the BOOK!

    • I understood (ha!) it as she was invited to be an opening act and perform, and so she launched into some long-winded woofastic preface to the song that nobody wanted to hear. So she got heckled. Her whole thing is “songversations,” so maybe she needs to shorten them to fit the Twitter character count instead of revisiting Woo War and Peace.

    • The Heckler meant please actually sing and an actual song and stop the caterwauling whatever form it takes.

    • The woman who yelled at her to sing had obviously never before heard her sing.

      I’m going to be disappointed if she didn’t do that passive-aggressive rap about open relationships

  4. She makes a point of saying she’s 38. Could it be that she read comments here guessing she was closer to 50? LOL

    • What? They NEVER read here. Except when they do. All the time. And your aunt Gilly sees the visitor logs.

  5. “At the age of 38”?

    Does Jahaaaas The Culture Shaper read here?

    Of course not, what was I thinking?

    She is too busy shaping culture.

  6. I really hope that she isn’t encouraging the audience to give the black power salute. Poor MLK would be spinning so hard in his grave that this entitled fool was virtue-signaling his message to a bunch of drugged trustafarian white folks just to promote herself.

    • I know! That faxuto made me raise my eyebrows. A black power salute returned by a crowd of white woos?

    • Heartists are kind of loosey goosey with hard dates. Besides, she’s a heartist so she channels the spirit of MLK all year long, ok? As a thin, white lady born in the 80’s, she understands the civil rights struggle. That’s why she keeps wearing the turbans.

        • It is a fascinating and tragic story. If you’re interested, this new-ish website has much more information in several languages:
          http://www.janpalach.cz/en/default/index

          My high school was named after Palach. When I was in the second grade, prior to the anniversary a national television came to interview several students of the school, and I was among them (*adding “starred in own TV documentary series” to bio*). They asked us what we thought of Palach and of course then edited it to make us look like idiots / used mostly the replies of my idiotish classmates who said they weren’t entirely sure who Palach was. Some commentary on our idiocy then appeared in papers and other media. Fun times.

          • Sorry about the poor outcome of your own documentary series; that was rather unpleasant of the editors to do that to you.

            I found that Palach resource when I was doing some googling; it’s fascinating.

          • I know the basement is not the place to discuss this, but, while I am in awe of his sacrifice (and of those at least two who followed his example and who are not remembered that often), I’m still not sure it was really “worth it.” But I also realize this is not really the matter of it being “worth” whatever, so, you know.

  7. Also, though she doesn’t specifically mention it here, she is another one whose bare ass is often front and center. I’m so tired of this pussy power rhetoric. This vagina forward thinking of theirs. I thought the struggle for us ladies was being treated equally in the workplace, home and society. As in, valued for our brains, skill, work ethic, integrity, ambition. Sure, we shouldn’t have to give up our femininity to do that. I don’t deny, try to cover up or be extra aggressive at work in an attempt to deny my femininity, but, I never went to the office in pasties and fishnets either.

    Sorry, but my power is not in between my legs. It’s in between my ears. If you are whipping out your snatch and think it’s giving you power, then you just haven’t figured out that “attention” is not the same thing as power and, well, that makes me kind of sad for you. I mean, work your angle and get your coins however you choose, but, don’t try to sell me that it’s revolutionary thinking.

    • Yeah, I find the woos’ insistence on “sacred femininity” and “masculine” stereotypes disturbingly retrograde.

      • This. They buy into separate spheres more than any 19th-century “angel of the house” pamphlet. Julia “the masculine always pays” Allison has definitely found her tribe.

        • I’m not totally sure because the woo men have oppressive behavior on lockdown, if you ask me. They preach love, polyamory, no hangups and non traditional roles. So no true commitment or responsibility, plenty of sex thrown their way, don’t have to answer to anyone AND everyone splits the rent! At least men in the old days were paying the bills for their wives/families and mistresses!

          • For the masculine, yes. I mean, maybe Rainy put down the bulk of the deposit to rent the house they lived in but, if he was cool with “the masculine always pays” she wouldn’t have posed that whole question to everyone on Facebook in the first place. She was trying to shame him in front of everyone they knew.

            I feel like she would have a hard time in the woo tribe finding too many men with the masculine pays frame of mind. Unless, that is, she finds someone who had a privileged and traditional upbringing who is dabbling in the woo or is woo adjacent. Which seems to be what she has in Dr. Dodi Doormat.

          • I do agree, OMG Randi, about the male woos having their cake and eating it too, which Jennifer Russell, the feminine hobbit, OK’ed in some sleazy story on Silicon Valley asshole men. The woo adjacent male is a much better catch for an insecure Donkey, who’ll probably be cheating on Dr. Dodi Doormat (I LOVE IT!) with someone prettier after they’ve been married a short while.

  8. I’m making the mistake of trying to understand this twaddle. So it’s Dr. King Day, but she’s on a mission from god. Her mission is to remind the world that she is on a mission from god. It appears that someone heckled god’s little pitchy and tuneless messenger on stage, and this behavior is contrary to the laws of the universe. Right? I mean, for chrissake, this was Jess who was plinking the ukulele and singing the Word of Jess. And meanwhile, she has a story for her upcoming book, which editors should fear is exactly the logorrhea here about her sufferings as a pitchy and tuneless messenger of god, who comes bearing the gospel of narcissism, a half dozen ukulele chord shapes, and a broken foot.

    • I love you. And I hated Jaahass blowing smoke up her ass in the following passage: “But there were some people there who were really ready for this message. I believe that most humans would actually feel more freedom, joy and love in their lives and be a bigger contribution to the planet if they spent as much time in their hearts as they do in their minds. I can’t help but feel that I play a role in this shift.” Really? Jesus H. Christ.

  9. Early morning, Jan 21/
    Heckle rings out In the Boulder sky/
    Free at last, they took your HeART/
    They could not take your Magic/

  10. No word on noodles beaver hand faster red balloon moon event, must have been a dud,or she got the month’s rent covered.

    Ali Scammy is now working to “reallocate” her mother’s 401k. As if she has ANY experience! Claims her sister is involved, hopefully as a stop measure.

    • “misappropriate”, more like it.

      call me skeptical, but i wouldn’t let anyone who has declared bankruptcy near my retirement savings.

      • Never Forget 1: This monster tried to strongarm her mother into giving her retirement savings to Ali so Skankatron could make a video of herself stumbling around burnerfests, screwing anything with a pulse. Never mind that Ali has several million dollar bidnesses.

        Never Forget 2. This monster tried to steer her mother into a trailer the size of a postage stamp, presumably so Ali could get her grubby paws on Mommy’s money and any property. Unfuckingbelievable.

          • Her nails are beyond disgusting! I have never seen anyone, child or adult, with more repulsive fingernails! WTH?!?!

          • She smells, as she’s posted on more than one occasion. If I were walking through an airport and my stench made passengers visibly recoil and shout disparaging remarks, I sure as hell wouldn’t share it with two billion FB users.

          • I wash pretty strenuously and thoroughly, and I use natural deodorant, but I worry constantly that I might offend someone because natural deodorants do not equal the fabulous antiperspirants of my youth. I can not even imagine offending everyone in the airport and not caring. She is horrible.

        • AND, I know this is relatively minor, but let’s not forget that she also gave her tiny and cute (judging by that one photo I’ve seen) mother a book about how to lose weight, written by some other grifter, as a Christmas gift (????). And then bragged about her gift-giving neurological abilities.

  11. Jaahass appears to have chosen her ass over her face lately. But I don’t know that the alternative would have been preferable. Lose/lose.

  12. With all of these people, Donkey included, what I keep seeing over and over is a complete lack of self-awareness. Jess and the heckler, Donkey and the reaction to her ridiculous dance at Red Rocks. Even when it’s pointed out to them why people observing them might find what they are doing laughable, or dumb, or manipulative, or selfish, or shallow, or hypocritical, they never really think about this. They just double down and insist that their critics are bullying haterz and have no lives, etc. And they lie, they ALL lie about the sketchy things they’ve done.

    I’ve always been intrigued by abnormal psychology and how fame (and the search for it) motivates people and affects their lives. If these people were truly interested in helping or influencing others, they would not present themselves as they do. They wouldn’t self-aggrandize and seek the spotlight. They’d just do good work and keep a modest low profile. Haven’t they learned anything from all the eastern religions they misappropriate? Maybe delusion is their way of coping, or maybe, like Julia, they don’t know any other way to be after watching too many rom-coms.

    • Great points, and re: your first paragraoh, I take it this is why knowledgeable catladies say that therapy probably wouldn’t work on these donkeys. They’re NEVER at fault.

      Remember the BOOK proposal and the “list of failures” that Donk gave us – all carefully curated “funny” and “cute” (So Not) stories about how she has always been too smart or too edgy or too adorbs to fulfil her teachers’ / OMG debate partners’ / superiors’ expectations. Not a single instance of admitting that she actually fucked up in any way. And of course, not a single truly self-deprecating story either, partly because she can’t do funny of any sort and partly because she can’t tell stories, but mostly because she’s actually always the awesome rom com heroine who threatens to let her dog urinate on someone’s papers, or whatever that godawful legend said.

    • grifty – can relate to the abnormal psychology thing.

      an ex-boss (jiml) sold their business and instead of making sure his family was set up for the future (three kids) decided to donate a large chunk of the proceeds to their megachurch for the recognition of being a significant donor and having their name inscribed somewhere on the premises.

      your “low profile” comments ring true also. the person was unafraid to mention the amount donated; and it would have provided clean water for a village in a third world country, or made significant difference in an at-risk program here in the US, but it was all about recognition and fame in a place they frequent, as opposed to just doing a good deed.

  13. So, I don’t know if this was discussed here previously, but the whole Bezos thing strikes me as WTF and the mistress is somewhat reminiscent of the Donkey. (Obviously she is much better at it than Donkey.)

  14. 38 who looks 58. What a scammer, ugly inside and outside. Seriously an idiot who runs around pretending to be an authentic artist. Such a elitist stupid bitch honestly all about Her and the ugliness she displays who other horrible people.

    On other note, how was noodles moonlight get together with mindless followers? People are so extra annoying.

Comments are closed.