Yoo Hoo, DJ Deadbeat! Delusional Jena la Flamme Keeps Embarrassing Herself On Social Media


Sacha Nielsen is gone with the wind, so much so he even gave an anniversary shout out to a BFF instead of to his wife on their second wedding anniversary! But the insurance scammer just won’t let go. From last night:

Such yummy deliciousness! The self-proclaimed erotic goddess was still worshipping Sacha this morning, despite the fact that he’s completely ignoring her.

Jena la Flamme
2 hrs ·
~ Hello 2019 & my 11:11 Anniversary ~

How are you, beauty?! Happy New Year! May 2019 bring you potent growth and expansion into your Erotic Innocence, sensual satisfaction, and body confidence. I hope to be part of your path this year and would love to hear your story along the way.

I’m finally emerging from my Winter Solstice cocoon of stillness and inward contemplation, to greet you, and the New Year, with pleasurable gusto.

Today, January 11th, is my second wedding anniversary to my beloved husband, Sacha. We chose this date to invoke the symbolism of the numerical sequence 11:11. The visual represents two trees standing side by side, with roots lovingly intertwined, yet each individually sovereign, resilient, and strong.

11:11 represents our equality as partners, and our nature as Divine Mirrors for each other.

So how are we doing after two years of marriage? The first year was a breeze, like living in blissful honey. And it’s true what they say about every couple reaching that painful moment of feeling that the “honeymoon is over,” which is where the real work of long-term relationship begins.

We’ve reach the second stage, and our current challenge is living on different continents. For personal and professional reasons Sacha needs to be in Europe, and I need to be in California, so for 2019 we are experiencing what it’s like to be in a long distance relationship.

So on our second anniversary, you can imagine how much I long to be physically in the arms of my beloved, to whom I am devoted with all my heart. However, we instead spent time together through the wonders of the web, and had a yummy Skype date, sharing our love to the fullest extent possible.

That included me sharing a romantic and groovy playlist. It’s only 4 songs. You can hear them here and sing and dance to them as we did. Enjoy!


Since he’s been gone I’ve been acutely aware of all the ways he helps and benefits my life, and how much more I have to make it all happen alone. I could count on him for so much support, and I felt so nourished and held. Great music, delicious gourmet food, and the mood of magic are guaranteed in his presence, which allowed me to become a bit passive in those regards. Now my challenge is to find the wonderful qualities I see in him, and have loved through him, also in myself, and to live them fully as my own.

Sacha has taught me so much. I’m a better person from being his partner. I know love more profoundly, and I have more to offer the world.

The mystery of our Love is unfolding.
I am a devotee of the Great Mystery.
I trust the twisting Path before me.

Thanks for being part of my world in 2018.

I promise you exciting offerings to come, and the adventure of a lifetime to sacred sexual empowerment, self-love, and body confidence, the vitamins we all need.

How’s your new year starting out? Any gems of wisdom for long-distance relationships? Please share them in the blog comments.


With love,
Jena la Flamme

Any gems of wisdom for Jena? Nice job tying her epic marriage into her grift. The bullshit and the desperation stink to high heaven.


  1. Jesus, Jena, self-respect, get some. Everyone knows deadbeat’s gone with the wind. This groveling is just desperate. Even one of her friends commented “Partner?” on one of her posts. Crickets from her in response. If even her hippy cohorts know she’s deluted, who is she doing this for?! INS? “I could count on him for so much support, and I felt so nourished and held.” Except when you couldn’t. Like say, moving. Physical presence, etc. Oh, and hon, the hard part of marriage is around the seven year mark…not seven months. Got problems <1 year in? It's not just the honeymoon that's over. Gregdamn, these woos do adulthood less convincingly than toddlers in a playhouse.

    • I can’t decide if she’s delusional or so desperate to make it looks like it’s working “just a wee bit longer” so it’s not quite the huge embarrassment that it is.

      • Maybe, both? Sounds a bit like saving face while trying to woo him back. “Remember sexy sex with me my big antlered man in full? It’s baaaack.”

  2. “Professional reasons” = drugs
    “Personal reasons” = drugs
    But, can we talk about this a moment? “My husband has to live on another continent for a year for personal reasons.”
    Uh. Okay. Think about that a second. Is he in prison? On trial? Even the military takes family with them. What’s more personal than marriage?! Seriously. Just admit he split. It makes you appear less Patty Hearst than 30 paragraphs on “personal reasons” your husband prioritizes over you to keep him on the other side of the globe and how devoted you are to him despite it.

    • These people discuss ad nauseam the steaming of lady parts & off-colored bowel movements–there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING that is personal to them. He gave her a flim-flam excuse that even she can’t buy, and is too embarrassed to say it publicly. Again, this is a woman who posted a filthy, wicker, chair with a hole cut in it, in which she steams her vagina, online. Come the fuck on five-heard.

    • If he truly had to leave the USA for professional and/or personal reasons, why didn’t she go along? She’s living in a California woo group house and could easily be replaced, has no job, and her internet grifts can be managed from anywhere. Being separated makes no sense unless he’s moved on, which must be the case because he’s been ghosting her for months. I don’t believe a word of that Skype sex horseshit.

      • Word. He can’t be bothered to respond to her on social media, not even to click like. No way he’s dancing around, making play lists and doing the Skype sexy sex with her. Not in a box, not with a fox. Not with a mouse, not in a house. He does not dig you phlegm I am.

  3. How does she feel about the magical, mystical number 1:11, because i’m not sure she understands in which order the months fall?

    Also, barefoot in NYC. Just think about it.

  4. Of course absolutely horrible music list. Makes Avocadumb seem like Bach

    Paging Jean Brodie to her comments sections, stat.

    • They danced to these soporific songs? Together? While they were on separate continents? As Curling Irons notes above, even her woo brethren aren’t buying the BS.

  5. I have been pondering what it is about Jena & Co. that has captured my attention. I’ve concluded I am astonished by the self-entitled way they promote themselves as experts, teachers, leaders, and gurus… when I myself, and so many of the other qualified professional people I know, wrestle with “imposter syndrome,” holding ourselves to such high standards that we feel like phonies even when we are genuinely qualified and accomplished. The idea that someone would hold themselves up as a teacher of a subject they truly have not mastered is unfathomable.

    I also have to admit it is like gawking at train wreck. Seeing someone dress up and pose in insanely silly costumes and spout advice to an imagined audience… It’s cringe worthy, but I can’t look away. I’m not proud of that. I have much better things I should be doing with my time. Life is short, and spending even a minute of my life judging other people who have done nothing to harm me is even more shameful than their behavior, which is really none of my business and not worthy of my energy. There are much bigger and far more dangerous fish to fry right now, and I should be focusing my attention on them. Maybe the woos are a distraction from the reality of those bigger threats? Maybe it’s like watching soap operas.

    In any case, I would encourage Jena to get off the internet/step away from the mirror/put on some clothes… and find a qualified, licensed psychotherapist who can help you. Make sure this therapist is an older, experienced woman who has been married for a long time, raised a few kids, and built a successful career. You probably will not like her in the beginning at least, because she will not coddle you or applaud your sheltered perspective. You will definitely not like real therapy either, because you will have to work hard and make some unpleasant changes in order to grow.

    And maybe I should consider doing the same. Because spending my energy focusing on these people is probably even crazier than their behavior.

    • Nah, you’re a good troll. Same as reading NYTimes Lifestyle or Arts section, but interactive, smarter and better.

    • You’re being way too hard on yourself, Rhinestone. I became fascinated with the woos because I had no idea such a subculture existed until Julia fittingly joined the tribe. The obsession with sex, the dishonesty, the drugs as “medicine,” the internet scams, the constant puffery of “friends,” the promoting of oneself as “expert” in a field in which one has no degree and very little knowledge – you couldn’t make these people up. With the exception of Miss Advised, and I bailed on the final episode, I’ve never watched a reality TV show. Not the competitions or the Real Housewives franchise. RBD is my reality TV, a break from family and work, and I get a charge out of discovering, GOODNESS, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE NOW?!

  6. Poor Jena. He has her convinced that a random Skype sex sesh here and there means they are still a happily married couple.
    Generally speaking, marriages that involve immigration, permanent residency, citizenship as hopeful outcomes require that both parties, you know, reside in the same country.

    After a quick Google I see there a 2 year conditional green card issued for marriage to a US citizen and until the two years is up, the green card is not permanent. Divorce within two years means the green card is dunzo. Hence the “we are still married” schtick on his part. More here:

    • If he married her solely for that green card, as some have suggested, including yours truly, why turn around and do everything one can to put that green card in jeopardy? Did Antlerface simply decide he preferred Europe over the states? Because he sure didn’t return to Switzerland to take care of his kids or to accept a position with the Bern Symphony Orchestra in their percussion section.

      • I don’t think Europeans, in general, are so worried about the green card.

        If you are a Swiss citizen, you don’t come to America to escape a life of poverty and despair.

        Wahli, on the other hand…..

      • Yeah, I agree. It all doesn’t really add up to much. But then why the insistence on maintaining this facade of togetherness? Woos…

    • My favorite item on the wedding registry: 1+/- Hour(s) of Your time as a Body Worker (send an email to let us know what you would like to offer).


    • At least that teapot is pretty. They registered for four (4!!!) different teapots. Who the fuck needs four different teapots?!

      I honestly did not realize they’d been married two years now. Time flies when you’re a grifty grifter who grifts.

      Also, maybe I am the dumb or just don’t remember my sacred geometry from high school, but wouldn’t 11:11 be November? Isn’t January 11 either 1:11 or 11:1, depending on which side of the Atlantic you’re on? Where in the world is the first month of the year denoted as the eleventh?

      • I think they must use all the teapots for their cacao ceremonies, which I still don’t understand. I am an old, so bear with me, but is cacao a code word for something? Like, wink wink, “Would you prefer the cacao edibles?” or “Ask the guy in the trailer for some cacao” or “Do you like butt cacao?”. Asking for a friend, maybe?

        • I’ve tried to find out more by googling it before as I was curious, and the high people get just seems like it’s some legal, mild, low-rent version of molly. My suspicion, though, is that they also have many other things available for their guests that are off the menu.

          • JFAing to say, even if off the menu stuff isn’t part of the picture, he was shown in photos divvying up a huge brick of this stuff, so I’m sure he is happy to sell take-home baggies to the guests. When they charge ridiculous prices for a single cup of this stuff at their parties, imagine what the doggie bags would cost.

      • January 11th is “11/11” on the same planet where “Jena and One-Point Buck are still married,” and “he yum-Skyped her today.”

  7. During phlegm’s missing Mangina posting flurry and their epic anniversary skyping posts, Carcosa managed to pull himself away long enough today to write about an anniversary of his own. No, not his wedding anniversary, which is too tender and sacred to speak of socially or to other actual people not dwelling solely in Jena’s imagination, but a very special Facebook friendship anniversary, nonetheless, with a beloved internet friend with whom Carcosa shares a joint DJ gig this very night. Blessed providence! How does her Mangina find the time between Skype wanking, dancing and soundtrack making to pay homage to so many sacred relationships on the same day? Cleary, his beloved, untamed wife is numero uno in his world, from even across oceans. But, he just has other commitments as well, which are equally honored and holy as his spouse, such as divinely-ordained cacao ceremony priestess, little orphan Annie secret club co-DJ, and sacred Facebook friend anniversary dude brah. Relationships born not merely of flesh, dick or drugs but of hard-fought personal and professional commitments, indeed.

  8. I need a Lysol shower and maybe a delousing after reading this

  9. The wording of Jena’s “Anniversary” post about her husband sounds awkward and fake, as if she’s trying to prove something. (Interesting she posted it AFTER we began discussing that she hadn’t said anything on social media.) These are NOT words you write about a man you are in a real relationship with. In fact, anyone who is in a real relationship with someone would at the very most write something TO that person, on the person’s FB page, not post something about them on their own wall as if they were leaving a product testimonial about a skin cream or vacumm cleaner. And the best she can say about him is that he has exposed her to good music and good food? And that he’s “wild” therefore a good match for her? Hardly traits that make a good partner, father, or even friend!!! And he didn’t even bother to comment on the post. I retract my previous evaluation of her. Me thinks she is a grifter. Or, at best, a poser.

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