Updated, Now With Waltzing Zombies! The Baugher Family Wishes You A Merry Craymas.

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Happy Holibrays from Donk, Dadsers, Momsers, Little Brother, Allie, the two tykes, Dr. Dodi Berkowitz, and glorious Wilmette.

What in greg’s name is going on with Judy’s face? And why the same greg damn skirt every year?

Do Little Brother and Dr. Berkowitz look somewhat similar? At least Britt’s pants are hemmed. Is Dodi wearing the same shoes? Does he own another pair?

So many questions! Up next, the engagement fauxto?

Update: An outtake from “Carnival of Souls” Yes, it’s that eerie, surreal.

Oh no! The ghoul in the dance scene looks like Dodi!

181 COMMENTS

    • Comic book-ish is what I mean… You could Fauxtochoppe the face and put it in a comic book strip and it would tots blend in.

    • I always think, it’s like she’s written in a different font compared to any other person in a fauxto. Like a big insane puppet.

      • IKR? Not only does she suck all the oxygen out of a room (as her mom says), she sucks all the attention out of every group photo.

    • almost like her lipstick has been drawn on too wide for her mouth.

      can’t read my – can’t read my – no you can’t read my – joker face.

      • Zoom in on the gaping maw, particularly that set of bottom teefers… I know this isn’t the case but why they look rotted?

        • It’s beginning to look to me like she took an image where her tongue had been out and tried to make yet look like ordinary lips, and then put that head on this neck. Crazy theory, I know, but just zoom in on that image and make sense of it if you can…

          • Someone needs to post some cold case files for RD to solve cause that’s exactly what it looks like.

  1. Coat and tie and not in temple church etc … that’s Cray cray to me

  2. The theme of her new book: “I had to go wild and travel to the ends of the earth to find I didn’t need to leave my own backyard to find the man who’d love me forever.”

    Everyone and Dorothy Gale has written it.

  3. Oh, Judy. Just because he has a PhD and his peers are academically required to acknowledge him ad a “doctor” doesn’t distract us from the fact that he is last resort (lowest tier?) in pretty much everything else…present company included. Merry Christmas!

      • Which she will never let anyone forget if she marries him

      • I think he’s cute and a perfectly reasonable partner. If he *is* reasonable, I hope he doesn’t get screwed over. My mom always jokes about me and dudebrah that it’s good we found each other, lest we spoil TWO families. Julia doesn’t deserve a nice normal dude, or rather a nice normal dude doesn’t deserve to get stuck with her. Let’s face it, Rain was probably EXACTLY the kind of dud she deserves.

  4. The fauxto of the face has been up for six hours and only Pan from Balistan has commented on it…

    • I’m guessing Pan is one of the Balinese men providing Judy with cut-rate massages in Ubud. That’s what his FB profile indicates. Maybe the woman who gave her Magic will leave the second comment?

      • JFAing myself to add that Cancer-Free Dan gave Donk a thumbs up. He’s not shown up in her FB comments and responses for some time.

        • He’s probably excited to see a legit fellow smart geek back in the picture vs. the pseudoscience anti-vaxxer types she’s been hanging with.

          • Yep, Dan seemed to have given up on her after Daniel Schmachtenberger, “neurohacker” and Judy’s greatest fan, and other assorted pseudoscientific asshats began appearing in her feed with increasing regularity.

          • She gave him a real dressing down when he weighed in on something against one of her woo friends. I don’t remember exactly but said something like she’d stop speaking to him if he didn’t knock it off. If I were him, that would have been quite enough for me to adios out of her life forever. She was real shitty about it.

  5. I am prob beating a dead horse, but as a white collar dude who is around the same age as this Dodi guy, it blows my mind that he is taking JA seriously.

    If I was dating a girl and it turned out that her last 2-3 boyfriends were basically unemployed (with a few DJing gigs here and there)… and… the last one was a polyamerist, I may genuinely ask her what she was looking for and what she sees in me (+ ask for an STD test). Before anyone accuses me of slut shaming, I say to each their own, but this guy is about the exact opposite of those burner types and he needs to be self-aware in this regard.

    My read is that this guy must not be used to much female attention. I watched one of the vids in his lab and he comes off as very awkward (unless the explanation is he is camera shy). Also could stand to lose a few pounds. He is prob one of those MD dudes who thinks his career alone will get him women and is shocked when it doesn’t happen. That’s just not true anymore, it is an honorable profession but doc money pales in comparison to the money washing around the tech/finance sectors and just no longer is enough to attract shallow women in cities like SF.

    His better bet would be to get out more, work on his overall image/presentation and not assume women will be impressed by the doctor thing.

    I’ve seen guys like this rush into marriage and it’s always a disaster. Post-wedding, get ready for the steady stream of subtle hints about his inadequacies on social media, followed by an affair + divorce, followed by more social media posts about how “he didn’t really understand me”.

    • He’s kind of a rising rock star in his field. And I’m pretty sure he knows it and how to exploit it in his private life. Look at who is funding him and what kinds of lifestyles they live. He has a physical type, we’ve seen evidence of this. Donkey fits that type, on the outside, at least.

    • He was allegedly dating strippers before Donkey, so I doubt Dodi has high standards when it comes to companionship, and he has a yen for brunettes. He also seems somewhat stunted in terms of social skills and romantic relationships. More on that in the next few days.

    • Even before questioning her past “romantic” choices, wouldn’t you (generic masculine “you”) wonder what she herself has been doing the past few (many) years while you were building your career and being an adult? I would consider that more of an issue than her dating record, even though that is obviously an issue on its own.

      • That would totally be my question, Helena. How does a single woman in her late thirties without a significant trust fund just not have a job? What does she do all day? Even with a trust fund, what does she do?

        I was “just a mom” for a significant number of years (and at her age) and it was hard and isolating and boring. I had three children who required almost constant attention, but it wasn’t all that mentally stimulating, but it was real work and easily explained why I was at home.

        If I met someone with such a sparse looking resume at age 38, I would be shocked and expect a parent with a long term disease or something. Her life is such a waste.

        • She’s done practically nothing since Miss Despised was axed in 2012, well, other than engage in all sorts of pointless self-help seminars and dirtfests. When with Rain, she’d claim to be “working with my clients” while on her computer all day, but the only evidence he saw of “work” during their 2+ years together was the occasional Ryan Allis shitshow.

          • Exactly. It’s ridiculous, and I think that even Dadsers must know deep down that this is not what he paid for. (I say “paid” as if that’s a thing of the past, haha.) All he has to do is look at Little Brother and his accomplishments for comparison. Or, if we entertain the “girls are not required to support themselves, let alone their families!” school of thought (as my own dad does, BTW), look at ALLIE. Then at Ol’ Donk. Like I said, ridiculous.

  6. Everyone in that pic has horrible shoes!

    Also, Judy, your sausage fingers on that terrible, plaid shmata are not a good leek!

  7. I hope brother Britt took him aside and warned him. It’s a little worrisome that the façade has not cracked enough yet for him to glimpse the hosebeast within. She’ll flip out soon enough if there’s no engagement ring by Birthcray, and I’ll bet she’s pushing the DTR hard after the new year.

    Love the dichotomy between this suburban republican housewife retread persona and the drug-taking trustafarian Rainbow not-so-Brite one. Can she continue to shape-shift like this?

    So Merry Christmas, delusional bookends. It’s nice at least to see the two normal-looking ones in the middle.

    • I doubt Britt said anything to discourage Dodi’s affections for Donkey. Wouldn’t he be excited to have a fellow nerd for a brother-in-law, especially a research scientist with his own lab? Especially after she’d been shacking up with a third-tier DJ in his mid-forties who felt entitled to fuck groupies young enough to be his daughter?

      • Yeah, Dodi (I typo’ed this as “Didu” and almost left it) is the only chance Britt has that his children’s inheritance won’t be drained to support A Donkey.

        • I like Didu, FWIW (maybe also because I think Dodi was much better looking, and I’m not one of those finding Dr. Berkowitz particularly weird looking or anything; just saying that Dodi was pretty hot IMO).

      • Oh, I suppose. But we don’t know if Britt is concerned about money and status, it sure seems like he is not. And he might take pity on Dodi. The warning might just be to take it slow and not let her push him into a premature commitment he’ll regret later.

        You can tell I’m not on board with this. Given her history, she will be bored with him sexually in no time, and nothing good will come from that. She’s said on a number of occasions she loses her sex drive for her partners after a while, and he isn’t exactly Adonis.

        • The minute he has to work and passes on some wootastic weekend, her entitled self will start looking for better looking men sending out sexual signals. Imagine if poor Latka can’t spend 10 days at Burning Man because he has to be in his lab. Julia will be jumping a woo masculine in record time and some of those men are quite handsome. (No, I’m not referring to Avocado or Tubbs Franklin.)

          • She is all about the OBO… Dodi, in layman’s terms: She will always be looking for someone richer, more prestigious, with a “fuller head of hair” and a “sick whip” (her words) and gobs of $$$$$$.

        • Hypersexuality during an early relationship is classic BPD/narcissist behavior. Sex is a tool used to establish a bond, at which point the tool is no longer useful. When someone tells you who they are, listen.

  8. One other interesting observation: they didn’t give in to letting her pose from her usual angle. I bet she wasn’t pleased with that.

    • Ha! Julia WISHES she looks as good as Jami Gertz does now. Jami is living 2008 Julia’s dream, she’s married to a legit mega millionaire and lives in a gated enclave in Beverly Hills.

    • The face has indeed looked a little odd lately, especially that whole Jacqueline Susann’s long lost daughter thing that she had going on for much of 2018.

      • She still sometimes looks like aging Annette Funicello to me. One of her recent pics strolling with Dodi reinforced that in my mind.

        • We seemed to move from Jackie to Annette. But in this family fauxto she resembles The Joker or some other mid-twentieth-century comic book character. How much work do you suppose she’s had done?

  9. I’ll go out on a limb and say this is the only picture where the way she was posing didn’t totally block her nephew. Even in this one she looks like she could care less about him being in the picture.
    “Look at Me! Me! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!” I swear that’s on repeat in her brain 24/7.

    • Never forget the Donkey First Principle: “I like people to look at me when I’m all dressed up.”

  10. Those nephews are cutie pies. Of course, their mother is pretty!

    I pointed out the resemblance between Latka and Baby Brother Britt a while back, but seeing them in the same photo—it’s really striking.

    So glad Robin ditched those heinous aviators for these tortoiseshell numbers. Much nicer.

    • The kids are very cute. The older one seems to be making a Detective Sipowicz face, which is about as cute as they come IMO. Love Allie’s dress, too.

  11. Donkey, your guy needs to buy a suit from this century and get it tailored … especially the trousers. And I know the funds are limited but maybe get him something to replace those ugly ass shoes.

    • Baby brother looks turned out, but I’m sure his wife thinks about him in a “Britt, honey, you need to have your new suit tailored/hair cut/shoes polished/are you wearing that belt?” Kind of way, while Julia is only capable of thinking about herself.

      Gilly, love the new user name. We will all be wedding planners in 2019, I think.

  12. Gilly, sign me up to handle the rhinestone technology. Come to think of it, what a great wedding it will be. The $20,000 wedding gown on the bride, and the bridesmaids in antlers and feathers.

    • The thing is, we know A Donkey so well that we actually *could* plan her dream wedding. We could write the vows that she would write for her victim groom:
      “Julia, you are the most epic goddess in The Universe, a gift from Source. A graduate of Indiana Georgetown, you have worked as one of the top women entrepreneurs in technology but turned your back on your career to lie on the beach all dayselflessly devote yourself to improving The Planet. Many men, including Devin Stetler, Jack McCain, and Chad McNally, have begged and pleaded with you to marry them, but your rebellious, bohemian nature wouldn’t let you settle down. . .”

    • Momser is doing a neck stretch very similar to her daughter’s. Julia finally had something useful to share.

    • As we know from the significant other of one of her ex lov-ahs, Donk religiously reads RBD.

  13. Further observation on top photo: two people are taking the family’s picture. Petey, Allie, and Son of Sam are posing for one camera, and Robin, Britt, and Julia Baugher are posing for a different camera.

  14. Awkward? The choreography was stiffer than at the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer!

  15. 2nd fauxto:
    Donk looks as excited there is she did on misadvised when flusher price open the door to Debbois.

    • She opened the door to Goat Soap on Miss Advised? I thought he was a post Bravo aquisition.

      • If I remember correctly, it was during the 73-point checklist song video. I have a couple of screen grabs from it but they’re on my dead laptop.

        • You’re right. And this is also decent proof that Derpin was part of a cattle call for the show, and that’s where she met him instead of NGMB sending him to her from Lilly Pulitzer heaven.

  16. Nothing quite like a wide belt (so 2006) that cinches up right under your boobs. Marry her already, I want to see how tragic she gets while shopping for a wedding dress.

  17. Target Christmas tree skirt refashioned and dead eyes. I never noticed it before until someone here mentioned it, that her eyes are truly lifeless (especially bottom picture). She really can’t fake happiness unless there’s a gaping maw.

    • It does appear that she has at least upgraded from the droopy coobie bras, though. She has one that actually seems to fit. Her first new article of clothing in 10 years?

  18. OT: Sponsored ads for BaliSpirit Festival 2019 keep popping up in my FB feed. WTF? Because I looked at Donkey’s FB page?

  19. Both photos say, “She’said just not that into him.” I pity him. This is the best she can do, at the beginning. Imagine what the end’ll look like.

    • I’m not convinced she wants to be married, because I don’t think she wants to grow up. Hence Messrs. Seltzer, Avocado, and Shirtless Sam or whatever his name is–she was never going to marry any of them, so they were insurance against growing up. Now she brings a guy home who possesses all of the suburban Republican virtues her parents could wish for (whatever his actual political views), they’re happy, and she’s…maybe starting to feel a little trapped. Is she ready to sacrifice her fantasies? I doubt it. If does get engaged, she’ll maybe wind up running like the last time.

      • She wants a big splashy wedding, tons of dramatically posed photos, and all the attention of being Princess Bride. That would be the easy part. The hard part is being married to Dr. Dadbod, running out of things to talk about, being subsumed by his demanding career, being pressured to get some kind of regular job or charity cause to work (because that’s what normal people do these days instead of staying home doing nothing), letting go of vacationing from vacationitis, and running a household.

        I think you are right.

        • After reading here, which we know she does, Donk’s going to be seriously considering the new personna of Runabray Bride.

          • I wonder, will she risk it just to have what is likely her last chance at a flashy status wedding? She seems selfish and narcissistic enough do do it even though she may know deep down it won’t work out.

          • Her marriage to herself hasn’t worked out thus far but we know that didn’t stop her either, tee hee HAW!

          • I also wonder if she’ll talk Dodi into getting married 20+times in 20 different cities like she was going to force Derpin to do, per her book proposal. Let’s hope he has a spine stronger than his dick.

          • That’s actually one of the grifts in which the woo who’s two degrees of separation from me – too close! – engages. She had her husband get married over and over again in exotic locales, getting news coverage and getting local businesses to pay for these jaunts.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LThc5KDd_ww

        • A person who behaves the way she did after the Rain breakup should never get married, not until she’s done a year (at least) of DBT and therapy. She’s a time bomb.

      • She definitely wants to be married. For two reasons, the attention and because the masculine pays. She needs someone other than Dadsers to pay for her lifestyle. While Dadsers is paying, she has to keep up the facade that she works and is an international bidness ladee. She knows it’s an embarrassment. That all disappears once she has a real live husband taking care of her. It then becomes an accomplishment rather than an embarrassment.

        • Most men nowadays, even men with good incomes, want their wives to have careers, their own interests, and contribute finances to the family. I don’t think she’d have a free ride if she married someone like Dodi.

          • No, but you know she would expect it and aggressively demand it. WHILST continuing to be very busy with her multiple clients who must remain unnamed, of course.

          • If she locks him down fast enough, he will probably be like everyone else who dates her and thinks she actually has something going on for herself. Once married, it’s a lot harder to extricate yourself. And, even if he manages to do that, it won’t be without a settlement of some sort that will come entirely out of his pocket (because you know she’s got no 401K of her own to divvy up). Loving him is a secondary consideration here.

            Look how long it took Rain to oust her? What was she providing? Yet, it was a long relationship anyway.

          • Rain dumped her at least twice before the final kiss off, when he caught her looking through his emails and FB messages. During one of those pre final breakup dumps, he moved out of the shithole in Novato for months.

          • Yes, his mum worked, so I think he would take it for granted.

          • Two 1/2 years max, which was longer than most of her greatest-love-the-world-has-ever-known braylationships.

          • And, at some point before that he realized what the situation was and he still not only stayed, but went back to it at least two times.

            Which is why I say, if she locks this guy down fast before he has time to get it (and, again, Rain had time to get it and still went back), she’ll get what she is really after. Which is someone to support her financially and in the fashion she feels she deserves….Wilmette Lake House Level.

          • She would announce that she now will be devoting her time to her “charitable causes,” while Dr. Marson continues his transformative research.”

  20. She looks like fucking Howdy Doody in bottom photo. Also, no pity for Dodi. He looks like a bigger ham than she is, HAHAHAHAHA!

    • Right? Like the moment we saw Debbie in (indoor) sun glasses and a pink bow tie talking into a fake NBC mike, at Fashion Week. She always picks the thirstiest men.

  21. This guys probably wants children, no? Why marry a 38-year-old? Of course, if he’s been dating strippers, maybe he doesn’t want to get married at all. Or not now. Do the parents have grandkids yet?

    I’m in the camp that gets a creepy vibe from him.

    • My tent is now pitched in your camp

      As long as your camp is not camp septic

      And as long as you camp provides those little handi wipes free of charge

  22. Something is off

    It seems as though we have not seen one photo of genuine (or even feigned) chemistry, affection, hugging, etc.

    • Because she’s not genuine… and I think non-genuine men are the only masculines attracted to that. Like attracts like.

    • There was that one sighting of them making out on the street in San Francisco last September on the day they went to the opera.

      • He saw her clomping around in a too tight dress, gross heels, huge plastic jewelry and faux fur jacket and is still with her? They are getting married.

      • Haha! At the Meatball Bar, of all places for an avowed vegan to choose to suck face. Open for just a minute and shuttered shortly after tainted by shiney white donkey platform hooves. Coincidence? All I know, though it was one block down the street from me and though God knows I love meat! and balls! and bars!, there was something off-putting about it to me, confirmed when Donk was captured by perspicacious neighbouring catlady in all her polyester glory and shared here.

        Ppl

  23. Wonder if Donkey made them all run a 5k around the lake this year. Dodi Dadbod doesn’t look like a runner.

    • LOL… That “first annual” 5K when Donk did everything possible to detract attention from nephew‘s christening?

      I like to think of that as preop for the inevitable sister-in-law-ectomy.

        • Oh yeah, when Sporty Donk was Sporty Donk … didn’t we figure out later who she was putting this Personna on for? Some dude into fitness …?

          • She was trolling for tech founder ass “running everyday” down in Crissy Field. Such a transparent lying liar.

          • Sporty Donk, LOL! And her tiny ‘n’ cute SIL, a real runner, had already been up at the crack of dawn to run a few miles.

          • If you look at the timeframe, with her sudden love for fitness and the fake Coobie modeling job she gave herself, my feeling is that she was scheming and grooming herself to steal Rain from Tiny ‘n’ cute. She made her move on him the following spring. There was some post she made about a guy she didn’t name who convinced her to jump in the Pacific, and she did it. I think that guy was Rain.

  24. Interesting that Donkey isn’t holding either of her nephews in the first picture. Usually if kids haven’t seen someone they love in a long time they’re attached at the hip; and, the loving aunt isn’t fawning all over her nephews in a photo opp is telling. I guess the kids haven’t warmed up to second-hand Yandy as gifts and their parents are smart enough to see through her crap.

  25. Basement dweller since the beginning, but can we please stop the shade about strippers? As some have noted, it’s work. And in expensive cities, many women turn to sex work. [As some have noted, there have been rumors Le Donk did some sugar-daddy/sugar-baby work back in the day as well around the time she was hanging out with that older dating/matchmaking person?]

    • I actually don’t think this is snark-internalizing; it’s fine to talk about Donk but using strippers as a bar and suggesting she’s lower than (even) them implies that they are a low bar to begin with. it’s kind of gross.

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