Happy Holibrays! A Pinterest Present From Donkey

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Our burro’s most recent Pinterest pin, from Berta’s Spring 2019 Bridal Collection:

Prior to this bridal gown, “an intoxicating mix of sultriness and luxury,” Judy pinned an OMG! rom-com happy ending:

Wedding bells in 2019? We’d say yes but she’s been pinning wedding fauxtos since time immemorial. May we show you?

Bottom Video! Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey will sing us out:

34 COMMENTS

  1. Merry Craymas, esteemed catpeeps! Here’s to roasted chests and nuts on the open fire, Jack Frost’s nipples on our nose, Yuletide Carol being hung by the choir, and folks stressed out by Eskimos.

    • And Donk nuptials in 2019!

      OOPS! I forgot, Grifty, you’re hoping Dodi wises up before it’s too late!

      • I just hate unnecessary collateral damage. And despite the rumors of his excesses, he’s still way too good for her. She shouldn’t be rewarded for causing so much grief for so many people over the years.

        • We’re in agreement. While part of me would love to see a wedding – we’d have content for years – a larger part doesn’t want Dodi’s parents to suffer as Mom Redacted suffered, and the fallout would be much worse here.

    • I’m imagining Judy speaking in a Barney Fife voice. “Donk! That’s my name!”

      Fingernails & erudition!

  2. Merry Christmas to everyone who celebraytes, happy day off to everybody.

    This is a lovely basement, and you angry, sort of sad adults are a gift.

  3. They’re both very cheesy, so he will either propose on Christmas, New year’s, or Valentine’s day.

    If she doesn’t get it this year, I don’t think he ever proposes. She can’t stay sane until next Christmas and he’ll run away. These holidays are her window of possibility.

    By this time next week, she may have to pin all her hopes on Valentine’s, which will be tragic.

    Somewhat OT, but I wonder if momsers and dadster realize what a gem they have with Allie as the mother of their grandkids. Smart, likable, maternal, educated. Naturally pretty to boot. Britt married the anti-Julia.

      • Depending on how much time they’re spending together on the same continent, the engagement window is Craymas to birthcray. For his parents’ sake, I hope Dodi runs for the hills.

  4. I love that Donkey is pinning wedding gowns that run in the six figures. I wonder how much Dadsers will be willing to part for her wedding soirée after supporting her at close to 100k a year for so long. He said she was past the age where he was going to foot this bill, but you know he wouldn’t want to lose face with the Marsons. Donkey didn’t just learn her love of status from just anyone.

    • I need to correct myself, the Berta gowns are 8-10K. A real steal, bunnies! Beats the flammable $18 Chinese number she bought for her self-wedding.

  5. Do you really think he’s been supporting at $100k/year? I don’t. Maybe $20-40k which is nothing to sneeze at but she has not been able to afford to pay rent for a solo place in years – since NYC, if memory serves. I think the last time she lived by herself she was hanging out in her parents’ OMG DOWNTOWN CONDO.

    • Not sure Dadsers is subsidizing her on a regular basis. I’m guessing much of Donk’s income from the past few years has come from AirBNBing her marina and Novato residences. Despite getting sued and evicted by the marina landlord, she talked Rain into renting that $5500/mo eyesore in Novato and then proceeded to AirBNB the hell out of it. This doesn’t mean she was living on Easy Street, as Broke as a Joke Donk moved to Ubud because of the cheap cost of living.

    • A few years ago we figured out it was about in that range, maybe just a little less. I’m too lazy to go back and look at the numbers. We can debate it all day long, but none of us really know how much. All we do know is that her father has paid all of her very expensive rent, plane fare and most of her bills for the majority of her post-high school life. She’s supplemented it by illegally subletting and the occasional job, along with some couch surfing and crashing at Raul’s condo. But even at her peak of earning, @ $100k in NY for the Star gig, that wouldn’t have covered her lifestyle in NY, and that was just for one year.

      We also debate about how much money her parents have. Both of these are tedious speculative discussions.

  6. I recently stumbled across a pelt-a-rama horror shill show when cataloging the 2009 entries and completely lost my shit. Enjoy this video Christmas present from your auntie Gilly. Sorry, I can’t embed because of privacy settings.

    https://vimeo.com/4085446

  7. Excuse all you bitches— did nobody notice the location of the wedding on the [jumping on the table at the] library due date card?

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