Vacations From Vacation-itis: Useless Sloth Lazing At Luxury Resort Crashes A-Fest, An Upscale HIVE


Our burro needed a break from her grueling schedule in Ubud so made the trek to magical Nusa Duo. She’s staying at The Laguna, a Luxury Collection Resort & Spa, while stinking up A-Fest Bali, an upscale HIVE shitfest that various woos are attending. Admission is supposedly $3900. If Donk couldn’t pay Rain the 4k she owes him, how in the hell could she afford yet another navel-gazing extravaganza?

Ah, Jess Magic. Now we know how Donk got an invite. “But I’m her manager! How dare you charge me to attend! Did you know The New York Times has hailed Ms. Magic as a musical genius?”

Forever lazing, eh, Donk? Will Alex Marson, the current love of your life, be attending A-Fest? What? He’s working in his lab! Absence makes the heart grow fonder?


    • That nasal caterwauling and trite lyrics. Nice to know this is what buys you a round trip to Bali, a luxury hotel and a stipend among the woke 1%ers these days.

      • Sooooo nasally – my first thought, but as Jess is fond of telling her students: it really doesn’t matter how you sound, just sing. And look at how well The Caterwauler is doing. Even esteemed music critic Alex Williams is taking notice.

    • Is she “singing” with a pseudo Jamaican type accent now?

      Goddess is sending a message through me. She says…..”No Jess, you DO need to practice.”

  1. Sorry, Gily. You are wrong on the event. This was the international conference of “Women Under 40 Who Never Gave Birth Saggy Titty Committee Support Group.” Support group. Tee hee.

    • OMG, my first thought was SO SAGGY, but I have been making a conscious effort not to body snark when not called for, and I wasn’t sure so didnt. But if others are called upon to comment, it’s not just me! It’s called for! Snark away!
      P.S.: I do have to hand it to Jahaass: vocal fry+ nasal twang is a … remarkable combination. I guess?

      • I don’t typically body snark here because I don’t often agree or like it. I don’t think she’s fat, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her legs. I don’t think she’s as attractive as she thinks she is and I loathe the bragging she’s done because of that. Always taking any chance she can get to go on about all the men she’s dated. As if she could have anyone. But that is not a flattering pic for two people who think they are goddess personified and post pics to the masses for compliments so I’m calling those titties out, damn it!

        • Yep, was my first thought too regarding the sagging. Wow.

          Also, in the photo where she’s wearing the red outfit and the “envision your future” sign, WTF is she doing with that weird hand pose? She can never just be normal and natural, can she? She must be so uncomfortable in her own skin. Her poor, increasingly saggy, sun-damaged skin. For Greg’s sake why won’t the woos wear sunscreen?!

    • Hmm….looking around…did he date Arielle R? The Spanish Moss photo? If so, she seems intelligent, engaged in the world, and naturally beautiful.

    • I know Grifty saw a few snaps of Marson’s old squeeze and indicated he has a type. Julia may possess those physical attributes, but Dr. Berkowitz will soon regret his “epically” bad choice.

      • The only shot I saw was also the Spanish moss pic. I didn’t get a name for her, but she looked interchangeable with Donkey striking a pose.

        • Ahhh *interchangeable* how every woman aspires to be known. Hahahaha!

        • Full screen the moss photo woman’s features looked like Arielle (I scrolled through people who liked the moss photo and it took just a few to get to her). She actually seems smart, engaged, pretty, etc. Though I spent very little time digging around so who knows. But if his recent ex is nice/normal/smart – then (a) I hope she and her friends are sitting back and watching his desperation unfold. And (b) this is not going to end well for JABA.

        • That was quick, though colleagues and acquaintances were already showing up in the basement.

  2. am beginning to sense a stratification among the woos, those who can afford to go across the pacific to exotic/luxury resorts, and those who can only afford central america

    also, is it JIVE not HIVE?

  3. OT: Jordo posted a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue shot of her anorexic self at the beach, which accompanied a story on financial planning. Huh?

    Malibu Barbie • 2 days ago
    Two weeks ago she needed financial assistance and used school uniforms, this week she’s investments, diamond earrings and Malibu. No wonder she feels like an imposter.

    Some fawning asshat named Staci Lawrence jumped in to defend Jordacted. I looked up ol’ Stace and she apparently is the ultimate white nit and closet lesbian, e.g., “I don’t know how I missed this post before now…Oh Jordan. I know we’re strangers but you let us all in to your life and I KNOW I’m not the only one who feels (sees?) a kindred spirit in you. One…day…at…a…time. Sending you love.”

    • Her thirst is unquenchable. They could put a desalination plant right there on that very beach and it would not begin to touch the depth of her thirst.

      I think she is doing a very Donkeyesque thing here and using her professional media as a dating profile. It’s very fremdschämenlich.

      • I imagine like Shit-show-Shanti and the others of the woo-persuasion that she too uses her kids like therapists. Save for therapy not college kids.

      • It’s not going to work for her. Anyone who could “afford” her could do better in a number of different ways. Most would also be smart enough to read between the lines that she was very likely the reason for her divorce.

      • The move to Malibu says everything. All the oysters in the world will never be enough for our Jordo.

    • You didn’t miss anything. El burro owed Rain 4K for the deposit on 55 Wildwood Lane. She was broke and kept putting him off while still texting him 40x per day. No idea if she ever actually PAID Chad back.

      • The property is listed as “Pre-foreclosure “. Pictures include Donky’s awful furniture and “cuddle now” pillows. This is success!

        • Grifty sent along a link and I grabbed a few shots. Do you think she left the “cuddle” pillows behind? Too much pain from Rain dumping her ass for the umpteenth and final time?

        • There’s also pics of a closet with a number of pink plastic bins stored there. I assume these also belong to a Donkey.

  4. It’s November the 5th, Guy Fawkes, here tonight and I call that an A-fest for a different reason.

    But they are still all fucking arseholes.

    • I forgot about that. I miss bonfire night back when I was a wee lil Nos.

      Hi from across the Ditch, Ethel-egg. Fire off a bunger for me! ??

      ?? ♥️ ??

  5. I am still in disbelief that all I get to cash out of the Donkey show is that she settled for an ugly, narcissistic wallet nerd. Just like everything else, this is a major letdown, Judy. You were going to be a McCain (LOL).

    • So funny compared to where some of Donkey’s buds land: Fatty Kate goes from Jack Dorsey to Peter Fenton. Taryn Southern lands her tech entrepreneur Bryan Johnson….. And Donkey….

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