The Judy Dos Donkey Trilogy: Journalithim, Jabs, Jaahass

1. Finally, someone has an important assignment for former TIME OUT NEW YORK sex columnist Judy Albertson.

A hard hitting expose? Surely Judy is game? After all, “as a journalist, telling stories is my livelihood.”

And … crickets. There are no prisons at Burning Man. Also, it appears that the esteemed former Chicago Tribune Media Services technology columnist has moved on to … whatever the fuck this means:

As an activist and strategic advisor, Allison teaches how to harness the power of both mainstream and social media to create a more conscious planet by raising awareness for transformational experiences, collective human potential, collaborative innovation, omni-considerate thought leadership and regenerative community building. She advises visionaries, artists, scientists, entrepreneurs and philanthropists to reimagine our world such that it is free, loving, healthy and joyous for all beings.

2. The advanced PR strategist received a whopping five likes and no comments re: her recent FB cover fauxto, but some new comments appeared on her instagram page in the wake of the NYPost fiasco.

3. (fittingly titled “The Big Money”)

I just discovered this 2016 GoFundMe page. At least I don’t remember discussing it in here. Judy wanted burners to pony up the bucks to give Jaahass a fauxto shoot for her birthday? Talk about something new and different. I hope it was yet another transformational experience for The Caterwauler.

Shhhh! SECRET SURPRISE JESS MAGIC BIRTHDAY HeART MANIFESTATION FUND

Beautiful spirits, on September 18th, our very own Jess Magic will celebrate yet another year of stepping ever so joyously onto planet earth (just barely).

She has changed every single one of our lives *immeasurably*, bringing us more JOY, LOVE, and OPEN heARTedness than we ever dreamt possible. She has also played a crucial role in the ceremonies of our lives – our birthdays, our weddings, our baby blessings … if there is a momentous moment, Jess is there.

So, it is with this knowledge that I would love to create something VERY, VERY special for The Magic:

I asked J what she would do if she had the resources, and she said a few things:

1) a professional mini/micro documentary
2) a day long photoshoot representing her heART

So this fund will be to pay for:

1) an EPIC micro documentary

2) 1-2 day long photoshoots by unbelievable photographers, complete with makeup artists and stylists

Jess has done SO MUCH for all of us … let’s do this for her.

The goal is to raise all of this money by September 18th!

Please share with those who have been positively affected by Jess’ MAGIC.

xoxo

Wow. Just. Wow. Bear and Kitty are such cheapskates! Even Ali Shanti ponied up $100.

Bottom Pictures! A GoFundMe present for Curling Irons at Dawn.

69 COMMENTS

  1. HOW IS SHE AN ACTIVIST? When has she lifted a single hoof to do anything? The fact that some people can so brazenly call themselves journalists, activists etc. is mind blowing. Zero shame. After all this time, I can’t get over it.

    • It’s the woo mindset. They behave like three year olds engaging in sand box fantasies.

      Judy: I’m a reporter!
      Devvy: I’m a healing cook!
      Bry Bry: I’m a burner stud!
      Jenny: I’m a marriage counselor!
      Jessie: I’m a singer who’s saving the world!

      • 3-year-old 3-year-olds are a lot of fun.

        40-year-old 3-year-olds not so much.

      • They’re all sporadically employed degenerates and narcissists who love drugs and sex and shun any responsibility. I’m sure it will work out well for all of them. /s. Can Julia even afford to hang with this wastrel crowd anymore? Can anyone remember a time where she earned an income to cover rent and basic sustenance? Lol, as if.

      • These directionless morons are still fawning over tech idiots like it’s 2008.
        And the idea that Ashton Kutcher ever thought he was a tech idiot is even funnier.

  2. Honestly, a screenplay about a fluff journalitht caught up in a prison riot would be funny. Orange is the New Black meets Private Benjamin.

  3. Lol @ partypants needling her about Lilly.if donkey wasn’t such an ass I’d feel bad for her.

  4. Oof, the MRAs/Heartiste are so foul and disgusting they actually make me feel sorry for Donk. She sucks but I’m not sure even she deserves to be on the receiving end of that cancerous idiocy.

    • I just visited the WordPress site because of your comment. Who are these folks? Sad incels? I wouldn’t wish them on Judy either.

      • I think Heartiste technically considers himself a manly alpha pickup artist, but sad incel is the perfect way to describe him and his ilk. They think a woman who has had sex, ever, is a slut/whore, women deserve to be raped, all women only want men to provide for them, etc.etc. I guess the interesting thing is JA is sort of their perfect bogeyman, but instead of recognizing that her failures come from narcissism, they blame it on feminism.

        • Is she discussed somewhere? I didn’t see anything about her on that blog. Not that I cared to read much of that disgusting vitriol I saw there.

          • The post about her comes up if you Google Julia Allison and Heartiste. It’s….not good. In addition to the insane misogyny, there’s also plenty of antisemitism and racism to go around.

          • I found it by using the search box on the blog. Donkey is a loser, but these guys are pure evil. Future commanders of Gilead.

      • Remember when I warned you guys about incels becoming the next trend back in March or April and people blew me off?

        (I pointed out that most of these creepy hippie people Julia hangs around would be incels if not for the drugs.)

        • As in: suddenly, guys are rushing to become on-trend incels? ‘Cause nah, they’ve been around; it’s just that the label is becoming a household name now.

        • Yeah, I don’t think this is anything new at all. We’ve known for years that a number of the people Donkey hangs with in meatspace are ex-PUAs. Incels are just failed PUAs, the next generation of misogynists.

          • The woos send gender roles back to the 19th century, what with their insistence on foregrounding biological difference to the point of absurdity. Add in “goddesses” performing lesbian lust for ALL THE BOYS, creepster PUA’s like Eben Pagan and Ben Rode, and Christina Morassi encouraging sexual misbehavior in the work place and volia! The gains of the second wave of feminism have been wiped out.

            I loathe these people.

          • Smellsberg is also ex-PUA and now touting consent to others as a way to whitewash his own fairly recent misdeeds sexually exploiting the emotionally damaged. Also the whole polyamorous movement the woos push is a male fantasy more than anything else.

  5. I know it’s not meant this way but the cock carousel sounds like the best ride ever.

  6. Story U Video:

    At Story U, I confirmed what I have always suspected: that I am the most interesting person in the world.

    The entire universe has existed so that I, the great Julia Allison, could exist.

    Now I am going to dedicate the rest of my life to deliver this amazeballs epiphany to the world.

  7. So, cheapskates Bear & Katiyana Kittay shared threesome DNA w/ Tragic Johnson & $51 is indicative of what the experience was worth? Who else wonders how much Donk skimmed off the top of the fund?

  8. Lawd have mercy!! A gift for the ages. When in my youth or childhood did I earn such pure goodness? Just don’t ask me to describe the Vaudeville act that was explaining this to the huscat, no air coming out, pointing and snorting at the screen. “Are you laughing or crying? The clown’s ‘for you’, why? You’re ‘Curling Irons at’ what? What’s ‘Wooville’? What are you talking about?!”

    • Yes, this has happened to me more than once!

      You earned those snaps, dear heart, for all the great comments over the years.

    • Ha, about those hilareballz bottom pics — just saw something on Facebook that describes the omgsexy & very-good-looking-in-real-life wannabe US citizen who married La Phlegm La Lougee for a green card:

      HOBOSEXUAL
      Someone who enters into a relationship to
      prevent themselves from being homeless.

      • *gafaw* That’s exactly what he is. All the woos are their very own petri dish of sexual culture, and there aren’t enough vegetable crates in the farmers’ market to sort them.
        Smellsburg = the Celexasexual, dates women with low self-esteem/trauma in order to record their love/make porn. Shantitown = the Sanduskysexual, dates newly-minted postpubescent men who don’t “know what love is” (or much of adulthood in general) so as not to suffer by comparison (gives her until the next burn before Sweet Life of Zack and Cody catches on). La Phlegm, the Caterwauler, deadbeat = Zikasexuals, hobgobblins with noggins so large sexual activity of any kind depletes blood brain levels rendering activities of daily living/simple decision-making impossible.

  9. $3k for the documentary and photo shoot…did any of it every come out?

    • Yeah, it came straight out of the GoFundMe account & went straight into the Dad$erFundMe account. Possibly. Probably. No donkumented audit would ever see the light of day, that’s for dang sure. Wouldn’t surprise moi if they split it 50/50.

    • I know he’s quite passé at the university level, but I loved the panoramic and patchwork qualities of the epic (rescuing the word from woo clutches!) American narrative.

  10. I read Ellen Pao’s book “Reset: My Fight for Inclusion and Lasting Change” and it left me really mad and disgusted at VC culture (at least the one that existed at Kleiner Perkins while she worked there) and I realized that while most of us would read it and think this needs to change, Julia, Jahas, etc would see it all as potential marks.

    Or also some of the partners at the firm being so clueless and thinking that they dont need diversity training anymore or harassment training, they connected with Jess Magic.

    • I went into RESET with a very negative attitude towards Pao – I have a Buddy Fletcher connection – but I found myself getting madder and madder and she won me over long before the end of the book.

      Re: the woos, the partners would invite Jaahass and her goddesses to perform at the conclusion of Diversity Training Day in the hopes that they could score with the wood nymphs.

    • pao is a hero for calling out the vc boy’s club for what it is. she is as smart as any of them with the same degrees and credentials and experience, but they froze her out. fuck them. not that any of what they are doing is noble, but she had as much of a right to fleece the rubes as any of them.

    • I am not going to read that book. Ellen Pao may be an honest person who was wronged, but the fact that she chose to marry a man who was accused of (and “settled under confidential terms”) multiple cases of sexual harassment makes me wonder if she actually wants to make changes or if she’s just a sore loser. I don’t know her or her husband, but I know enough people from that stratum of society to know that they’re always working an angle.

      (See the last paragraph of this article.)
      http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2012/06/ellen-paos-husband-sued-the-dakota-board.html

  11. Hahaha. I love “Ruthie” up there in the article. ” I saw you in the Daily Mail UK, it reminded me of when I read Cosmopolitan magazine and followed their advice, I’m happier with my Bible.” Donks is so inthpirational! She sends people running to the Lord in revulsion.

  12. OT: Jena la Idiot has found her valuable artwork that was purchased at Pier One Imports! You get what you pay for, Einstein, and when you hire the cheapest movers in New York to ship your shit to the other side of the country …

    Jena la Flamme
    21 hrs ·
    An update from me.

    I’d mentioned that my movers were fraudulent and charged me fo 950 cubic feet when the local delivery company told me it was 575 cubic feet, and I could see with m own eyes based on the volume of the truck that it was impossible that it could be 950… well, I’ve written to the movers and asked them to refund the difference. I’ll see if they reply on Monday, otherwise I’m going to my credit card company and law enforcement. I have photographic evidence and a video of the movers admitting that it’s only 600 cubic feet they delivered. Viva the era of the video used for justice.

    I also thought they had stolen my art, but fortunately it showed up. They had stacked 2 tables and a huge mirror belonging to my roommate on top of the art, on the other side of the garage from every other box they had delivered. That night at 10pm I felt guided to the garage and found it. Phew!

    I’m still unpacking and feeling REALLY happy in my new home.

    Thanks for all your support on the fraud, and my mistaken sense that I’d been robbed. My roommate kept saying, “it’s here,” and many of you said, “it’s coming back to you” and you were right.

    I was so upset by the fraud part that I assumed the worst rather than having any faith at all.

    Many lessons here. People in the NY/NJ regions, NEVER use Century Moving Company. Total sharks!

        • It’s hard to imagine one NOT checking yelp reviews before hiring a moving company, but if you’re too lazy to put a dish into a box and keep begging strangers on the internet to help you pack …

          • JFAing here to add that those yelp reviews are the worst I’ve ever read. No sympathy for Fivehead!

          • I feel like my life is mirroring Jenna’s. I also recently moved out of a home I’d lived in for many years, although I packed the damned boxes myself and managed to hire a trustworthy mover. My husband is very good looking and enjoys a hot cocoa treat from time to time. I am not sure what the ceremonial part of cocoa is. Perhaps when we drop the marshmallow in? On the other hand, my friends are not laughing stocks for their recent appearances in New York papers and my hairline is pretty normal.

          • I cannot believe her husband wasn’t even on the receiving end to help Fivehead unpack. Deadbeat and Dreki’s Tolkien journey to Middle Earth ended on June 25, so where the fuck is he? She’s going to get tired of this bullshit quickly. SO PROUD this loser has his green card!

            https://www.eternaljourney.is/

          • Prediction – she is all in with raindeer head, awaiting his arrival to get preggers, or trying (sorry world) and then mother in love will be the $

          • Morrocan, the ceremonial part is charging your friends $60 for a cup of hot chocolate.

          • My guess is the moving company would Google her before they paid her anything. Oh, she found her boxes, what a surprise.

        • Could be that is WHY she picked them, scam the scammers, still a moron though.

    • “I felt guided to the garage”. For fucks sake. Can’t these people EVER speak English?

      • most likely boxes were inadequately labeled, hence missing, however she has photographic evidence and a video of the movers unpacking – too busy doing a fauxto shoot to check whether all her belongings arrived.

        she has a garage, and a roommate. awol reindeer-face is the new “where is lilly?”

        • 2 + roommates, sister goddesses if you must know. They are seeking another- to pay the rent, no doubt charing more than the equal shares.

          • At least you went alone. The woo goddesses need to hold someone’s hand while they take a shit.

    • It sucks to get ripped off, but this is a lot of histrionics over maybe $500. Maybe it’s “Source” evening things out vis a vis some Uber related injuries that don’t impede sexy dancing?

    • So she went from “I am devastated and outraged because my invaluable art collection, that took a lifetime to amass, has been stolen by the moving company. I will raise hell and I will make them pay for their crime” to “Oh, never mind, the boxes have been in the garage the whole time”.

      I just kant with the woos.

      • ?????? And arriving at this conclusion required such rare and monumental effort, it felt like a spiritual experience. (“I was guided to look.”)

    • Your “art” didn’t “show up,” you dumb dipshit— it was there all along, correctly delivered to the garage of whatever California McMansion you’re currently using as a crash pad on someone else’s dime. I’m sure the movers didn’t realize they had to separate the contents of an adult household by roommate.

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