Updated, Now With LGBTQ Donkey: The Return Of Judy Journalith!

The new profile fauxto. Could our burro be signaling the return of BOOK?

Is it just me or does Donkey look completely insane? Is she announcing a new persona or returning to a former one? She looks less wooish here than she has in a long, long time. Insane, yes, but muumuu free.

Whatever is happening behind the scenes, I hope things are still going well with Invisible Reasonable Man.

This just in! Help Wali support the world’s most destitute women:

Update: The new FB cover fauxto. Bikissual Judy & non-leasbian Myka (Reasonable Woman?) celebrate Gay Pride? Or she’d at least like us to think she attended?

240 COMMENTS

    • I’ve lost track, but if she’s still on the pristine shores of Lake Michigan, she may need to snow her parents for another check.

      • JFA: She spends money having her fauxtos retouched, but can’t ever take a baby wipe or a belt sander to the bottoms of her hooves before she does these things..

        • That is my biggest pet peeve. First, are barefeet necessary in a ‘journalist fauxto’?And if she insists, make sure the hooves are clean.
          Didn’t she also do a similar shot at the beach…with a computer.
          All image never any substance.

      • She’s definitely trying to convince someone she has a job. Was Reasonable Man getting tired of paying for those daily massages and threatening to run for the hills?

        • She’s not even of a caliber to lock down Dr. Gary anymore. What could her options possibly be?

        • I will never, ever believe that Reasonable Man exists as anybody closer to her than a target. Remember how she implied that she and Redacted 2 were a couple? Remember how she implied that she and Jelly Donut were a couple? If Reasonable Man is even a human who exists, I don’t think they’re actually dating.

          • Oh, how could I forget? When she ran crying from Jelly Donut’s apartment it was some of the most satisfying television ever.

          • Trying to hail a cab in a city where you don’t get cabs by hailing them.

          • Indeed! Wandering the alley behind his house like she’d just been dumped after a marriage of 10 years. Damn. Fine. Television.

            Reasonable Man is a phantom, employed because she can’t conclude any story about herself w/o the rom-com ending. You could set your watch by it.

            Thanks, Morrocanwear, for the Reasonable Man photo. I forget to credit you in the post because I think of you as an unpaid intern doing my leg work! Can you return this frock to Dress Barn for me, bunny?

          • Remember, during that time, she also tried to get the mods to post about her & DeStorm dating, even though they were not.

          • OMGreg, I had forgotten the DeStorm Matter. That was incredible even by Judy standards.

          • The way she behaved toward and about DeStorm was disturbing even before we knew his side of it. It’s like she thought he was as much a helpless accessory as Lilly [sic]. (I’ll stop here before I write an angsty novella…which I would actually finish.)

  1. At this point, Julia Allison is probably pretending not to be so woo in order to make us think that Pretendable Man really exists — there are as many fake layers to her persona as there are layers to the callus’ on the heels of her hooves.

    Take a belt sander to that shit, Donkey!

    P.S. Donkey!

  2. She’s deploying the nose scrunch! We haven’t seen that since she landed Pancakes!

  3. Didn’t Devin’s apartment with the shaky pizza hut tables have an old typewriter in it? Perhaps this is the trophy she took from that relationship, which she stores between TheBeltWeShared and TheOnesieWeShared(andstillhaven’twashed).

    • Yes, it appears to be from the boat shoes/smart glasses era, preliminary stylings for Author portrait for back cover of BOOK. Why is she resurrecting it now?

      • A different image for HIVE this time? Toilet paper cozy dress didn’t exactly inspire professional confidence?

        I think she’s moving back into the mainstream now that she’s humiliated herself with her woo tribe. Back to the wallet hunt.

        • I recall one point deep within the chapter of Woo, Julesie suddenly changed up profile photo for one with pearls and a little blazer or something. I guess she does this when she is trying to get hired, then she doesn’t get hired and takes them down?

  4. Oh god, gaping maw in full effect. She’s working so hard to look spontaneous and cute but having a hard time because of the Botox and fillers. So she just looks like she’s in pain. Also, those dirty hooves. No bueno. Run Reasonable Man, run!

  5. Who types on the floor in a white room? Oh a crazy person. And what the fuck is she supposed to be looking at?

    • She’s lol’ing at the nurse who just dropped off her evening meal to her padded cell.

    • Stolen/hacked video from Pancakes’s wedding. That would certainly explaining the fake laughing face barely containing her rage

      • Glorious. I wish I had that video so I could project it across the street from wherever Judy lived, a la Robin Bell’s projections onto Trump buildings.

    • Nobody types with their elbows and forearms on the floor. Laws of physics and all that.

          • Mulia no doubt really would live in a stall, were lined w/ mirrors, cameras, tutus & tiaras, + WiFi.

          • So many great shots from Mess Despised! That was my introduction to the bray and the cray (thanks, Donk, for pointing me to this site).

          • Mass Despised was truly a boon to this site/cite/sight. Donkey undoubtedly assumed that if she mentioned her hater site/cite/sight on the show, countless fans would stampede here to whiteknight her and ruin the place.

            nstead, the group of regulars grew exponentially. Well done, Julesy!

          • The show was my entree to RBD also. I don’t think that scene even ended before I called it up on my laptop, thinking oh boy, this is gonna be good. And it was! And still is!

          • You guys missed the golden era of TMI and Donkey’s rapid cycling through “Sisters.”

            I’ve always said that smug, arrogant Donkey is my favorite Donkey. When she had that ridiculous “job” with Star magazine and was so sure that she was going to get a fulltime job at Fox News, she was insufferable. Watching those falls from the highest heights is the most entertaining!

  6. Wali is a hardcore fan in the stans from Stanistan, my word. Kudos, I guess.

    So, I was just thinking about HOW FUCKING CRAZY A Donkey is that she commissioned another goddamn photoshoot for that NYPost article. What, none of the dozens of Wendy Yalom photos of her snuggling horses or being pensive on a picnic bench would have sufficed?

    She lives such a cargo-cult life.

    • I’m your hardcore fan, baby! (Help albie because She needs it)

      Donkey is broke, broke, broke. So, yes, why not just toss up one of the coffee mug, Wendy K. Yalom fauxtos from The Reimagine Factory onto the Post story? Do you think Peter & Robin paid for that NYPost fauxto?

      • She probably conned the photog into doing it for “exposure”. Or expired gift cards, whichever.

    • My son the astrophysicist (LADIES?) explained to me what cargo cult means. I was in despair. How awful.

      Also, can it please stop raining?

  7. Either old pic or she got new pelts. Her hair has been shorter than this for a while now.

    So mymthought is that she’s burned her bridges with Poly Sex Cult Mystic and now has decided to put her eggs in the only Hive basket that has hired her for the past few years.

    Her three word bio continues to be “Learn button, unpushed.”

    • She managed to make someone else’s difficulties all about herself. And yes, when you have cancer you do learn who your real friends are — and are not. I’m still hurt over one who pretty much ghosted on me

      • So basically the post says “I had a friend with cancer and I ghosted her but I swear I considered doing nice things, so I’m really a nice person, but then I did literally nothing and now I’m going through a rough patch but it’s not like life threatening or anything, and I have friends that fly across country to make my kids food so I can nap, so let me tell you im lucky”

        Good lord

      • What is the best thing you can do for a friend during chemo? Food is covered. This is my dear niece and pal, 39 years old, with two little kids. Her young parents live 1 mile away and can cover a lot. What can I do? Please share if you can. Thanks a million.

        Hope you’re ok.

        • The best thing is to give them some of your time, for whatever they may need. BTW, food is tricky, chemo may screw up for digestion and you may be nauseous and pooping grey goo for days.

          Cancer is HARD work, there are tons of doctor’s appointments to arrange & attend, fighting the medical bureaucracy is no small task either, test after test after test that beget more tests, etc

          I would offer to pick up the kids from school and take them somewhere fun for the evening, or help them with the shopping, or driving them somewhere they need to be, go with them to the doctor(s), stuff like that.

          Listen to “the patient”, sometimes they may need to discuss dark stuff (i.e. the possibility of their impending death), don’t shut it down with “you’ll be fine”. Even if you really really want it to “be fine”, it’s very important to have someone to talk to.

          Of course, there is the thin line between been helpful and being overbearing. I don’t know your friends, so I can’t offer any specific advice, but be aware of that too. You don’t want them to think, “oh, shit, I must be about to die tomorrow”.

        • Call, send email, etc., to let her know you’re thinking of her. Send links to funny or interesting websites — nothing too long, because she may be easily tired these days.

          I didn’t have chemo (surgery and 2 months of radiation was traumatic enough), but I still treasure those who kept me in their thoughts and let me know they were praying for me.

          Little “luxuries” — or any small gift. Some organizations make “chemo comfort” gift packs that you can buy for people or just donate so that they can give them to women who can’t afford them. Like http://www.chemocomfort.org/index.html
          If you can’t give a whole kit, maybe 1 or 2 items from what goes into a Chemo Comfort kit http://www.chemocomfort.org/page_12.html or what’s in the National Breast Cancer Foundation’s Hope Kit http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-support/hope-kit

        • Cleaning service, if she doesn’t already have one?

          If this is in your budget, it’s the most practical yet the most luxurious thing imaginable. Feels like a hug. Great for ice-cold doctors’ offices and the like. Also great for plane travel.

      • Cancer does weird things to people, even to those who don’t have it! (just try dropping the c-word in a conversation and see it languish and die within seconds).

        Sometimes a close friend may just not be able to deal with it and they disappear, when you get better they may come back.

        Not sure what went on with your friend, but not everybody has the strength required to deal a friend’s life threatening illness.

    • Ugh. I just read that whole post and I like even less than I did before (which wasn’t much). What a whiny, self-absorbed brat she is

    • No shit. Back when I used to read GOMI it seemed like their marriage was super rocky.

      He seemed okay with growing up and getting a real job, she seemed to still want to be the SparklePrincess.

    • Alice of GOMI is beside herself with Schadenfreude over this. It’s a little unseemly.

        • As Wolf said, you’ll need to get a feel for what the person is comfortable with, but what I’ve done is take care of the physical stuff at the most basic level: clean the house, do the laundry, care for the kids (who require *a lot*), get groceries. I do those things while the person is sleeping or too ill to talk, and the rest of the time just hang out in the room with them, reading or working on some project or listening to them. I think the standard rule applies: do what you would wish someone to do for you in the same position.

        • Was Alice one of those who wound up here because they initially looked up to and wanted to be friends with Donkey, but she was an asshole to them?

          • Opposite. She was part of at least one earlier anti-fan site, but then Judy came into chat and somehow won Alice over (this is before my own time in the basement, so someone correct my Donkology if necessary).

          • Yes, she’s Partypants, and she wants to be friends with *all* the people she pillories.

    • i utterly neglected my friends including the ones with potentially terminal illnesses and yet they still help me so not adorkable so shillshacklesham so me me me me me teeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeee

      so heinous

      also, for a mom to leave the house and move into an apartment — i am guessing she was caught cheating

      • The focus on “her” all the time over the family has to be exhausting for the rest of the family.

        • She updated:

          “efore I launch back into writing about our (first) bathroom makeover (which is FINALLY finished, and oh my god that took forever) and the best ballet flats out there and, I don’t know, chicken, or whatever…I figured I should probably address the elephant in the room.

          I don’t know if we’re going to stay in this house. Or even in this city.

          I don’t know anything.

          On Saturday, the therapist we’re working with asked me what I’d see as the ideal situation three months from now, and, you will be shocked to learn, I burst into tears. (Or I guess “bursting into tears” isn’t quite accurate; there’s sort of a constant stream these days, so it was really more of a “turning up the faucet a little higher” situation.) I DON’T KNOW, I said.

          I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know.

          I have two children. I love them so much, and I just want to keep them safe; make them happy. I love my neighborhood. I love my friends. I just spent three years working on making this house beautiful in my odd, imperfect way. There are other places I could love, other houses and other cities and even – I suppose – more friends out there, somewhere.

          Anywhere I lay my head, et cetera.

          Summer just started, and all I want to do is swim, and swim, and swim.

          But apart from that, I don’t know anything.

          So…right. That’s the update.”

          • There are more I(s) in that update than an ophthalmologist sees in a a day.

    • In my mind, the new FB photo is the exact expression that Donkey pulled when she heard about the JorDrick break up, and she is currently in the process of typing a hipster note to Kendrick offering break up sex, like she did with the dusty DJ. It aaaaallllll makes sense!

      • Ouch!!! That’s cruel, but funny because it’s probably true.

        I really want Jordan and Kendrick to thrive in their marriage because it is EXACTLY the life Julia wants but is too crazy to have. So I’m sad about this news.

      • I want this to happen, but ONLY if Donkey busts out Jordan’s tiara and wears it while boffing Kendrip

  8. Hmm, what does it all meaaaannnnnn???

    Great teeth: good health and dental.
    No forehead lines: can afford Botox, cares how she looks ya know.
    Jeans: but doesn’t care tooo much. Still casual approachable. See also bare feet.
    Goony laugh: sense of humour, untouched by life’s hardships. Unthreatening.
    Upward gaze: delusional optimism. How cute.
    Crisp white shirt: classy. Will fit in at your tech investors dinner.
    Typewriter: self-consciously cute. Oh, she’s a writer!
    Feet touching: adorably unselfconscious.

    Overall: Daddy aren’t I cute but I don’t know it? Give me $$$$$

  9. I am wondering if AUTHOR AT BOOK is trying to repackage “Experiments in Happiness” as “How I survived polyamory & found a reasonable man”.

    Her loyalty is only to herself, as we all know.

    I don’t doubt she would turn on her woo sisters in a New York minute.

    • No Fucking Way is any reputable publisher going to sign a BOOK contract with A Donkey, not even with the yahoos from Duck Dynasty attached, as was the case with the original deal.

  10. Does La Donkess miss Randi? Maybe less for having licked her cake, but I can’t help but think she feels like, well, I could do what Randi does, without too much stress. Why is my supersmart brother so normal, and not a zillionaire? I think Randi’s success cuts Donks to the quick…

    • She probably could, they both sound like a bag pipe powered by a deflating life raft when singing and are both equally delusional in terms of how “special” and “famous” they are.

    • Soooo full of herself then, so high on her own fumes. If only she had a crystal ball to see how much she’d crash and burn in just 10-15 years. And it would be all her own fault.

      This needs saving as a PDF for the archives.

  11. That bra Judy’s wearing in Bikissual Bottom Picture is positively grandmatronly. More of the Mrs. Roper Collection?

  12. trying to figure out if this is an old photo and if she’s lying about person/place/time again.

    the piece she is standing in front of is by sara erenthal – the bushwick collective. i don’t recall any of her work being along the new pride route, but then she didn’t say she attended pride.

    does she know anyone in bushwick? would not think it is an area she would frequent.

    a shame that we can’t lift the exif data from the photo – this would prove whether she was actually in nyc yesterday. fb timestamp says she was posting at 4am eastern time this morning, so who knows.

    • Bushwick is done, it is precisely her ilk now overpopulating it.

      Is that Myka, her love? Her unicorn emoji may mean she’s tricking out to couples now too, not just tech angel investors with airplanes/or volvos

        • bushwick or bed-stuy? you’re probably right with the former.

          i can’t see him inviting her over though – “hon, my batshit insane crazy ex-girlfriend is in town with her bikissual pseudo-lover – is it ok if they crash at our place for a while?”

    • Still wondering about the hair length. Either this is an old pic, or she got her tacky pelts installed again.

      • i think she’s posting old stuff as she has no friends (which is actually sad), no acolytes, and no money, therefore no new fautoshoots.

        • But plenty of slightly droopy coobies! Let’s look on the bright side, Melting Marionette!

        • I’m no PhDonk, but it seems that, historically, periods of no boyfriend, no housing, no upcoming dirt festivals, and no fake job gigs have always sent her into a frenzy of playing with her Facebook fauxto albums, where she unearths her treasures from the vaults.

          • It has to be hard for her to know what to do since she bases her whole look and lifestyle on whatever boyfriend she has or wants at the moment.

    • FWIW, that same image (of the woman with the triangles under her eyes, red lips, etc.) is on the side of a newsstand on Broadway and Astor Place, and has been for at least a few months.

      • So she’s been in the city that ruined her life for a week? Wonder who she’s imposing on…

      • i kind of liked it when she (sara erenthal) would find big pieces of cardboard or other flat media in dumpsters, draw the same face on it and then put the drawing back into the dumpster.

  13. That crinkle-nose crazy face thing she’s doing there looks downright maniacal. It’s gonna scare off the potential wallets, Julie.

    • It’s like she can smell her own hooves! And worse yet, is relishing in it.

  14. OMG! The Reasonable/Invisible Man meme…keep it going. So funny! Love! Love! Love!

    • I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen this stream. What a hoot! Love the deer-in-the-headlights expression on John Mulaney’s face. He loathes A Donkey.

          • you can download each vimeo using a free service such as saveitoffline.com, but then we would have to host each atrocity here. knowing her, she’s send her lolyers after us for copyright infringement.

          • You don’t have to use a service to download, she has downloading enabled. You just need a host.

            The 4 Non-Blondes cringe fest is still there.

          • The 4 Non-Blondes travesty is the BEST cringe-fest, where Donkey can’t even mouth the lyrics properly though they consist mostly of “oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo,” and then there’s the coy unpeeling of the ski jacket, and the pelts tossing, not to mention the thrusting of the sausage snappers hither and thither throughout to underscore her passionate delivery of her interpretation of the song’s message. And, not directly captured in the recording but obvious to any viewer paying attention, is captive audience Brother Britt’s horror at the whole show — behind his dead-pan seems to be the fleeting calculation: are we too far up the mountain for me to jump now without serious injury?

          • Every time I feel a twinge of pity for ol’ Pete & the missus, I remember this exact video and it’s GONE. Their dedication to indulging this dumb brat for nearly 40 years is horrifying.

        • Oh, here we go! Donkey really is on the prowl for a wallet. She’s curating all of her JULIA! ALLISON! digital catalogues* & ramping up for fire a sale.

          Sounds reasonable; the ink is almost dry on the last TRO.

          *May as well be rearranging chairs on the Braytanic, but hey, it will be fun for us. Would it be presumptuous jump on Amazon right now for a snack haul?

          • Don’t tell me that the slimming Santa fauxtos are not strategically slotted amidst those anything-but-slimming promiscuous school girl fauxtos.

            TRICK QUESTION: Between the sausage casings (red) & the getaway sequoias (white), which color tights pkg should include a donkey w/ a circle & a red bar? This is assuming that you have seen the video of Donkey in Germany, wearing red tights & sashaying up an escalator. Such a ditchpig, but I digress.

            P.S. “trick” because she is.

          • I forgot that one! Where she posed as a rockette, while on a date with prom king a.k.a. prop thing?

          • Bray, I was going to reference the Rockette fauxto, but decided to hold back a bit… but you and I know. 🙂

    • I was enjoying myself looking at the photos until I got to the one called “My favorite photo ever” and it is of HER! LULZ, but also wow.

  15. Wanna know how easily I am amused?

    Look closely at Donk’s right front arm on the mural, right under the lips. See that line?

    According to equine podiatry:
    ’White line disease occurs secondary to a hoof-wall separation. Clinical signs can vary from subtle to severe lameness depending on the extent of the disease.’

    Mulia is definitely lame. Also? #WhiteLyingDisease

    Seriously though, WTF is going on there? That particular hoof looks partially webbed & I swear, the elbow is pointing right at us.

  16. I feel like all this has come full circle. I wasn’t into the woo set, so I lost interest in her for a few years. But I’m so glad that all these posts about her recent emails and bad behavior are up! I feel like I’m home again. 😉

    Also, to the poster years ago who said the movie Young Adult was based on Julia Allison, I agree with you. I finally saw the movie over the weekend – and OMG! The similarities between the main character and JA are uncanny. So, thanks for the recommendation!

  17. When did Julia’s 129K followers stop posting likes and comments to her self-absorbed Facebook posts? Clearly, it was when she could no longer afford to pay the Facebook fans farms, but roughly when did that happen?

    • Need a bigger pad if she wants Swiss (Father) Missing to come back and impregnate ya… Money on her getting preggers if he does return within weeks , she is desperate, shallow and running out of time in her world… or she could adopt a shitzu, where is Lilly?

    • It was nice of Bryan “Little Teapot” Franklin to join. I’m sure he thought it was pretty good odds that he could get some strange.

      • I particularly enjoyed Jena’s final paragraph. Tubbs definitely got some strange!

        “And yes, zoom in on the tipi photo to see how much those tipi flaps look like pussy lips. Stunning! Erecting the tipi felt very erotic in an elemental way.”

        • Everything is erotic. OY! It’s got to be tiring for her family and roommates.

          • “Roomie, could you pass the butter? Oooooh, I felt an erotic charge when your hand brushed mine! Didn’t you feel it? No? Are you sure? Well, please pass me the non-diary creamer … thank–Oh! You definitely felt the undeniable sexual spark between us that time, right? No? You must be VERY repressed!”

        • She can hypersexualize anything-it’s worrisome (for reals). It’s a good thing she’s not around Swiss Mister’s kids. I’d image she has a tough time censoring that *creative* five-head of hers. I only body snark frauds.

          • They spend much more time apart than they do together. I’m seriously beginning to believe this was all about a green card.

    • Can’t put up a WalMart teepee? CHECK
      Can’t put her own items in her own moving box? CHECK
      But … but, she’s going to be of service to the world! CHECK

      • Yes, although her services to the World sound a little ambiguous though.. “Her life mission is to be an exuberant force for positive transformation, creating a world of harmony and omni-consideration that honors all beings.’”

    • Wow, she is a piece of work. Getting to Morass levels of making me feel ill so quickly!

          • I’d pay good money to get the 1:15 back from my life to the time before having listened to the most awful voices ever recorded that wasn’t a donkey. Have these women no shame? Prancing around with meaningless prayer hands and sobbing through arabesques with other white women…all the cultural appropriation. Wtf.

          • Donk does appear, at the -0:25 mark.

            Yes, the video is ridiculous, and Ms. Chavez’s claims that she is healing the world – “Who will play me in my life story?” – border on the obscene.

    • And the quote is probably fake, just like Starbucks’ “be the change you want to see”.

    • Quoted alongside one idiot who’s obsessed with Harlequin romances and another who blames the media for her pursuit of “bad boys.” Donkey can’t shake the SATC association that SHE created and from now on she’ll be known in both mainstream and social media as the fool who blamed her poor choices on a television character.

    • ’She often missed meals, wore handouts and could barely afford her rent.’

      Donkey conveniently fails to mention that Dad$er paid / still pays her rent.

      • I’m pretty sure that he pays/paid only up to a certain amount. Then it was her choice to either live modestly on what she’s given or keep grasping for outlandishly ostentatious digs and constantly scrounge to make up the difference, convinced that her “big break” (either some instant lucrative fame or a wallet) is moments away.

        That’s why she made a big show of looking for NYC apartments in the $5k-10K range, before quietly leaving town

        • From observing her lifestyle the past six years only, I suspect he pays her share of rent and utilities, car lease, gas, gives her air miles, health insurance, and maybe a small allowance for incidentals. The rest she picks up with odd jobs and AirBnB for all her “bodywork” and mani/pedis, green juices and stupid self-help books. And she grifts the rest. My guess is he gives her $5k a month.

          • Plus, she ALWAYS expects the masculine to pay, whether he be [REDACTED], Debbie Seltzer, or Rain, and regardless of her victim’s income.

            Hopefully Reasonable Man is at least picking up Donk’s massage tab.

          • Paying Julia a professional salary so that she can remain in a permanent childhood state? Well done, Baughers. I wonder if Dadser went solo so that he could at least write off her monthly stipend. After all, she did design his website.

          • I don’t think anyone at the new firm shed a tear when he left, to say the least, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been subtly or unsubtly encouraged to do so.

          • I agree that he was likely pushed out. The big tell is what man opens his own business at that stage of life?

          • A lot of large firms gently or not so gently encourage partners to retire when they hit 60 or 65. For instance, you earn a higher percentage of your firm’s profits for x years the earlier you get out. The longer you stay, the lower the percentage. Staying longer may make more sense for some older partners if clients they originated are responsible for a higher percentage of the firm’s overall profits. Their retirement bundle will likely reflect a higher percentage of profits longer past 60 or 65.

            It is rare that litigators (like Petey) have clients who generate significant percentages of a firm’s profits year over year. It is more likely that a commercial real estate or deal lawyer will have a client who brings in millions of dollars annually.

            TL; DR it’s not surprising that Petey was pushed out. Especially in light of his firm’s merger. In addition to funding a Donkey, he may have just wanted something to do in his twilight years, and solo arbitrators/mediators can do a good job of setting their own schedules.

          • Yes! Also, the firm that bought his old firm already had a younger-than-PB managing partner doing the same niche work, so none of this was surprising.

          • Yes. The former JIML didn’t have a “line of credit” with her very rich folks; they paid her utilities, health care, etc., directly, and she had to beg them for cash. She was totally supported by them (in a pretty nice manner), but was cash poor.

            Occasionally she would run up a bill somewhere, à la Anna Delvey, with the promise that her parents would pay. Then they wouldn’t, for whatever reason, so she stiffed the place.

          • I don’t remember the details of Peter’s firm and the firm that acquired it, but I remember looking into it 2-3 years ago and concluding that it was typical of law firm mergers these days. Which is to say that the acquiring firm (not Peter’s) saw a firm that had some nice pieces and a good presence in the market (in this case, Chicago midlaw serving mostly regional clients).

            What happens in these cases is that the acquiring firm is looking to keep the rainmaker partners, keep the clients, and ditch the service partners. Service partners are those that don’t generate enough business to keep teams of associates busy, but are experienced and useful to have around to service the clients of rainmaker partners. They’re usually paid like a biglaw senior associate (sometimes less) but they are allowed to originate business if they can and call themselves partners. But they are in no way treated as the equals of the rainmakers–for example, if the firm has a conflict of interest with a client that a service partner wants to bring in, the firm is not going to take the steps needed to make it happen. An example of this is representing lenders (creditors) or representing businesses. Another would be representing competitor companies in the same industry.

            In order to keep rainmakers at a firm, the firm has to become more “eat what you kill” (less “level” or “lockstep”). And Peter is exactly the person who gets the axe in a situation like that. He’s older, so in a lockstep firm, his compensation would be pretty high–much higher than it would “deserve” to be as far as firm finances are concerned.

            Peter’s main contribution — that he seems like the kind of guy who would stay late, come in early, work from home, work weekends, etc — can be handled by associates, so there really isn’t a need for service partners in today’s law firm business. The service partners I’ve known are really stressed and acutely aware that if a rainmaker doesn’t need them anymore they could be forced out on their own. For litigators, good in-house jobs are hard to come by.

        • It is not all a “big tell”. While he may have been pushed out through merger, lots of attorneys ease their way into retirement by shifting to mediation/arbitration. Attorneys by nature, and I am one, tend to be workaholics who find 100% retirement difficult.

          • I agree with the arbitration/mediation thing. It pays well, it’s interesting, and if you can get on 1 or 2 AAA panels a year that’s a nice lifestyle. You have more control than most judges over how the case moves. In my last job before I started my own firm, I would regularly spend 50 billable hours in a month dissecting everything I could find out about prospective panelists sent over by AAA and then striking or rank-ordering them. We represented trade associations and had extensive spreadsheets on each arbitrator. These spreadsheets, along with some influential, confidential opinions, were the most valuable thing to a practice group that employed ~50 people.

            I actually think Peter would be a good arbitrator and should’ve gone for it a while ago, assuming he could afford to do so. He seems like the type who would listen to both sides, immerse himself in the details of the dispute, and write a thoughtful opinion. The only weakness I could see is in his demeanor–he seems diminutive and I don’t know how good he would be at exerting control at hearings. On a 3-arbitrator panel, though, he would be excellent since he wouldn’t need to be in charge.

          • I should clarify this by saying that I assume Peter would be a panelist on large “complex commercial” cases. Those definitely are engaging and lucrative enough. Oftentimes, travel is fully paid and the panelists are allowed to bill for assistants/secretaries.

            But it would also be funny to think of Peter doing small arbitration cases, like people disputing their walmart credit card bills.

          • very interesting reading! thanks aff and sharon for sharing.

            not too different how management consultancy works in a larger firm. i can say that there is a level of comfort being part of a team, but frustration and lack of control if you have a team leader that’s considered a SME but cannot push the client if they are resistant to change, or can’t see the long term benefits of what you’re implementing.

            i like having my own shingle out there (pharma and med device consultant). can relate to sharon’s comments about these type of services attracting workaholics and pity the poor catwife, who will suffer immensely should i even consider semi-retirement.

          • The one thing we know about his work to date is that he is going to be on the Barnes and Noble mediation team in an issue about customer privacy. Some brilliant basement dweller dug up a piece on that from some business mag, but now I can’t find it (the matter was Bernardino v. Barnes and Noble).

            Which sounds like a decent gig in terms of money, at least.

          • We also know that Dad$er$ is now on the same Hive panel as Julia talking about “Law for Purpose-Driven Startups.”

          • Whenever some idiot castigates this basement as worthless haters, I’d like to point to this discussion as an example of the educational value of RBD. Such a servicey, brilliant bunch of folks from so many fields. So glad to be here.

          • Actually, no, I didn’t know he’d joined the HIVE panel until you mentioned it, LIU.

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