Grey Gardens: Deranged Donk Recovering At Lakeside Assisted Living Facility

The photographer who shot our cry-faced burro for the New York Post indicated that she took the fauxtos in Wilmette last week. I’ll bet Rob Schuham was ecstatic when escorting his girlfriend’s non-lesbian lover to the airport. You take care, dear heart!

Well, Goddess only knows what’s going down at the Baugher residence. I hope Robin is waiting hand and foot on our conniving little burro. Reddit and Twitter and Vogue and Doree Lewak and Rain and everyone who ever lived have been so mean to her!

Re: that bizarre xojulia page, was Donk hoping to ride the coattails of SATC’s 20-year anniversary to promote whatever service(s) it is that she’s marketing? Could someone unpack for me whatever it is that the toilet paper doll and award-winning journalith is hoping to communicate?

As an activist and strategic advisor, Allison teaches how to harness the power of both mainstream and social media to create a more conscious planet by raising awareness for transformational experiences, collective human potential, collaborative innovation, omni-considerate thought leadership and regenerative community building. She advises visionaries, artists, scientists, entrepreneurs and philanthropists to reimagine our world such that it is free, loving, healthy and joyous for all beings.

Oops, no matter. No one appears to be buying whatever horseshit Julie is selling:

Bottom Picture: The glow of insanity.

I LOVE YOU RAIN!! (So much so, I’ll send you threatening emails and cc your parents and ex-girlfriends.)

185 COMMENTS

    • Yoo hoo, Jimmy, I have a problem that only you, as a lover of idiot brunettes, can fix!

      • I just checked… It says “She is currently unemployed and lives with her parents” lol! Which one of you cat people added that! ?

    • I was wondering if Mom$er has taken all electronic devices away from Donk.

      • I said the same below before reading the comments. Let’s hope they make that a condition of staying with them.

    • Now the Wikipedia page says she is unemployed and living at home with her parents.

      • I hope like hell that’s Rain’s mother making changes to Donk’s Wikipedia page. I want to see someone out-rank Cindy McCain.

        • reading the comments in the edit history of the page is also quite entertaining. one of them reads: “wikipedia is not your dating service”.

          there are also accusations of plagiarism.

          • Took me forever to figure out how to see history on the iPad format. Look for a green bar. I just now discovered it and it said the last changes was like 21 or 23 hours ago. If I remember correctly changes before that were like April so the plagiarism reference should be some old news don’t hold me to it though.

        • “According to CBS News, Julia through the use of attorneys, has been quite effective at rewriting her history and rebranding herself by having websites removed or taken down.[26]”

  1. I’m praying ILYR speaks out publicly about all of it. I don’t even care if he’s shirtless with a hoodie when he does it.

    • He better speak out publicly … or else I will send more threatening emails to Rain and his parents and his ex-girlfriends!

    • I think, based on his m.o., that he’d be more likely to just disappear for a while and take a musical sabbatical. This kind of insanity can often spawn some good creative moments. He could use some new material, from what we’ve heard.

      Go take refuge in your headphones and tweedle knobs, Precipitation Man. There is a rainbow at the end…OOPS…phrasing! Sorry!

      P.S. Be sure you don’t watch Play Misty For Me.

    • He’ll do what they ALL do. Nothing.

      I give Redacted 2 some credit because he did, after a while, come here and commented and he also made that post on his own page about how he had told her a bunch of times he wanted nothing to do with her, in every way possible, and she just wouldn’t leave him alone. That was funny.

      But, as far as I know, no other guy has ever publicly stood up for himself and called her out. Or even privately done anything like put a restraining order on her. Which I absolutely would do if I was in their shoes, and have recommended it to a number of friends. Unless you’ve got someone who is a physically abusive, “I’ll kill you before I’ll let anyone else have you” stalkers, I have found it works like a charm.

      • Cancer-Free Dan has called her out on several occasions, especially during Julie’s sojourn in Wooville. Unfortunately, he was too young to put a restraining order on her when they were in high school but his parents certainly did.

        • He did, yes. But that was a high school romance. I never got the feeling that was a particularly bad break up. And she didn’t live in his house for a year rent free, drive his car to the Hamptons, go to Burning Man in the hopes of bumping into him…you get the idea.

          • It was a HORRENDOUS breakup, because he dumped her right before PROOOOOOOOOOOOM, you sillyface!

            Srsly, she bitched about that on Miss Advised.

    • I want him to go all Pusha-T on her and write some salty rhymes.

  2. Can someone please translate that woo word salad of what she “does” into something closer to English? I keep reading it and I feel like I’m trying to read the Cyrillic alphabet.

    • She works with visionaries to get themselves into mainstream and social media by…

      Nope.

    • activist=I always “like” my friends’ FB posts about global warming
      raising awareness for transformational experiences=I post my Burning man fauxtos on Facebook
      regenerative community building=yoo hoo, can I crash on your sofa?
      joyous for all beings=give me free stuff

      • reimagine our world such that it is free=I hate the English language

          • This is one that angries me. We apparenly teach our people in military service to pronounce the name of the counry we are “against” wrong. So that what, we don’t have to get involved in their culture? We say I-rack so that it doesn’t feel like a real place? I’m asking other military posters on this site to tell me if this is intentional strategy.

    • “Rage beast with delusions of grandeur seeks validation as divine source of compassion and wisdom. Bay Area only, but willing to travel on your private jet.”

  3. too much plastic surgery makes people less happy, and ultimately results in a situation that is worse than when they started

    also, i knew the flora in that fauxto didn’t look californian, but i was uncertain if it belonged to wilmentte

    • Grammarian : flora :: Afghani : caulking.

      PS: The nostrils! I wish I could unsee the nostrils!

    • Ohh, I remember you saying that from another thread and didn’t get what you were getting at (slow on the uptake). Bonus points!!

        • JFA to add — Flora is the plant life occurring in a particular region or time, generally the naturally occurring or indigenous—native plant life. The corresponding term for animal life is fauna.

          • Hahah yes thank you. I thought (or wasn’t really thinking) that you were making a dig about fake plants in her CA house. I finally connected on this thread that you correctly pointed out she had in fact changed geographical locations. I might need to give myself an internet time out.

          • I took a sabbatical and searched my feelings and did empowerment dances in the dirt.
            My spidey sense kicked in last week and it seems like I came back in time for perhaps the next chapter.
            Also I missed the good snark. Clever, funny people are rare.

  4. Anyone else perceive a subtle whiff of Coobie stench from this steamin’ heap o’ shite?

    As in, fauxtoshoot once again paid for by Pettifogger & article regurgitated by Donkey? All they needed was a naive journey to attach her name to this … this … whatever it is … Is it damage control?

  5. Isn’t social media pretty much mainstream at this point? Donkey, so cutting edge.

    • I giggled over that mess too. Seriously, did she write this crap while on hallucinogens? That’s the only believable explanation.

  6. Oh, shit. I’m Wilmette-bound pretty soon because of some family ish. I have no desire to be a stalker & seek her out but on the other hand I’m dying to see how all the other Baughers are handling this. What to do, what to do.

    • A field observation is very important in this stage.

      Just drop by the Baughers’ casually and act surprised when you see the hosebeast.

      • “ Oh, Julia, you’re here! I just read your piece on how a TV show ruined your life. What? What did I say? Come back! Sheesh, I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Baugher.”

    • Haha what to do indeed ???? I know you’re being facetious, but I see your conundrum. How she is doing: wiping dried mascara off with saliva, crying over unreciprocated text messages since no one likes her, eating Amy’s chili from a can, making desperate, cynical vision boards, and dropping in on her high school teachers, who don’t remember her.

  7. So she was in Wilmette when she sent that awful email to Dwayne and his family, which tells you how happy she is to be home. No doubt her father is being stern, but judicious; he takes his trusty Oxford Book of American Verse from the shelf next to the Farmer’s Almanac and looks for sage words about responsibility and independence (‘hm, nothing in the index under prodigal; maybe check under son’); her mother starts to feel sorry for her and offers bright suggestions while making her catfish (“why don’t you write for the New Yorker?”); Julia retreats to the basement to bonk her head with a resonant roll of wrapping paper; soon enough Dadser will soften at the sight of his sad and no doubt chastened offspring, and trying to forget how many times he’s said this before, will sigh and say “we’ll pay for just one more year”; and in the next episode she’ll be back in California before heading off on vacation to Costa Rica.

    • Can you imagine: your adult daughter slinks back home to the suburbs, jobless, penniless, hopeless, and reviled… you realize that things are bad, and you brace yourself for a come-to-Jesus talk, at the very least, or the full-blown intervention that your PhD son has suggested… then suddenly she descends the stairs like Norma Desmond, and you notice someone with a makeup case and a circle light milling around on your back lawn…

  8. One of most canklehausen-inducing things in the article is how she completely lies about Miss Advised.

    Miss Advised WASN’T about a real-life Carrie Bradshaw.

    It was about how three (Yes! Donkey was one of three people with equal billing) professionals of relationships, a match maker, a dating columnist, and a sex expert, handled their own relationships.

    Does she ever NOT lie?

    • Also, “her home” instead of “her parents’ home.” That’s a funny thing to gloss over in an article about trying to be Carrie Bradshaw.

      There’s no shame in having to move back in with your parents as an adult if you’ve had some setbacks and you need to get back on your feet temporarily. It’s supposed to be a time to take a deep breath, evaluate your life, humble yourself, get real therapy, make a plan, and get on with the business of being an adult who can pay your own way in life.

      Instead, she calls a press conference and stages a fauxto shoot to announce that she now has integrity and wants her privacy. Only Donk.

      “I left New York because of the shallow materialism and the cameras in my face all the time… now just let me put on all the New Age jewelry and clothing I just bought, and I’ll be ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille.”

  9. Wait, she sent that email from her parent’s house?
    She copied his ex-girlfriends, why? Was she hoping they’d agree with her?
    I can’t imagine getting an email like that and not calling the dude and encouraging him to get a restraining order. No matter how acrimonious the split.

    That word salad with nonsensical dressing garnished with delusion isn’t fooling anyone, least of all her parents.

    I remember seeing an interview with her and the Wired editor (?) where she spoke of her mother not speaking to her because she read the comments online. If that’s the case, let’s hope her Mom disconnects the home internet connection and takes her phone. The worst thing they could do is let her live anywhere but home (not the condo) and force her to get a real job from a publicly traded company (so she can’t snow them again). Home is the best place for her.

    • So, I have questions. If this photoshoot was at her parents’ home, then they would know about this article, yes? Are they that clueless in thinking that the article would be a good idea? Apologies if this has been talked about before, lots of info coming in fast and furious.

      • I’m still confused on all of this too. Like did she spin it to her parents that the article was going to help her? Was she trying to prove the media was still interested so she set it up at their home? They know her and have talked to her and seen her writing-so maybe they were sold on the “as told by” concept??? Did she contact NYPost and pitch this story? I know the SATC 20 year anniversary was the catalyst but beyond that I haven’t a clue. Sadly, neither does Julia.

          • She didn’t make it into the NYT article so she pitched it to the NY Post. The Post decided it was mockworthy, so they published it, thinly veiling it as a human interest story, when it was really meant as a sideshow. Basically, they preyed on her.

          • This scenario sounds highly credible, and I’m loving that Dadsers & Momsers once again fell for Judy’s spiel and paid for the photographer, only to see their money go up in smoke when those fauxos ended up as part of a carny show in a daliy rag.

          • So neither parent thinks there’s something incredibly sad and pathetic that their daughter blames a TV for her terrible life choices?
            A life that allowed this person to live in some of the most amazing cities, have oppprtunities that most people never get and never worry about employment?
            Wow. She’s never going to change or get better. Why would she?

          • With Julia, it’s either blame the show or blame her parents. I’m sure Petey and Robin are happy she’s blaming the show. No one in that house wants to have to look in the mirror and own their behavior.

          • Thank you for clarifying. I understand parts of media but not things like that article.

          • Her parents were so prescient. They must have known watching TV would lead to Donkey’s ruin which is why they never had a TV in the house.

      • I do wonder if it’s intentional. It furthers her “the world is against me Daddy” narrative which gives Petey the okay to keep doling out the dosh.

        Poor Widdle Julia.

        • I thought she might be trying to show them she still has a job because someone was coming to do a story and OMG photo shoot. Like most of her plans it royally backfired.

  10. FYI: Website going through an upgrade, bunnies! Much more bandwidth. No more site crashes.

    • You’re doing Greg’s work, Gilly.
      I thank you, I salute you, I raise my glass of Franzia in your general direction!

      • We’ve just started the ball rolling, thanks to Grifty who got us a good deal. I’m hoping everything is finalized tomorrow.

        • It will likely take a couple of days, but things will be lots better. Hang in there, bunnies.

        • It’s much better for me today than in the past few days. Thank you, Gilly and Grifty and everyone!

          • I don’t think they’ve upgraded it yet. Give it another day or two.

    • This is success!

      No, really, it is. We are getting more hits than nosociety ever got.

      Put THAT plant medicine in your pipe and smoke it, Donkey.

  11. I hope Rain has handled this debacle in the most loving possible way: getting whoever he is now dating to call Julia and ask “What do you need FROM ME?

  12. Hi bunnies. It’s been a minute since I posted here!

    Wow! So much growth for our Donkey.

    These breakup emails pretty much seal the deal for me. Donks is Cluster B as fuck. The hoovering, the smear campaigning – it’s textbook.

  13. Can you imagine what would happen if Rain got married to his current girlfriend? Wife fluffer to the un-fluffable. The cray would be off the charts.

  14. So I commented about the current status of the Novato “villa” a few days ago, but due to Craymas in June and all, the post is a bit buried. TL;Dr – the place was sold out of foreclosure and is now re-listed for $1.3MM. New listing here: http://www.apr.com/property/228530473/55-wildwood-lane-novato-ca-94947/\

    Here’s my new question: because I understood from earlier posts that Julia was the only one on the lease, who is the current “tenant” folks are directed in all caps not to disturb in the listing description? It might make the most sense that her lease was up/terminated, her shit sent back to IL, and a new tenant is now there. That also may fit with the timeline we now know (Jules was back in Wilmette as of last week).

    • I believe the lease ends in September. The mysterious “Justin” does actually live in the run-down “villa” when he’s not AirBNBing it.

      “Home needs some work”

  15. Jesus Howard Christ pooping pogo sticks. This Donkey show has EVERYTHING!

    Chesca, take a good look at your potential future. You always seemed as thirsty as Julia and only marginally more talented. No surprise you’d envy her.

    You are correct: I did not read your book. I doubt many other people did either.

    Keep whining in the comments, though. It’s a great look.

    • That book chapter wasn’t the first thing she’s published recently that I’ve found pretty disappointing. She recently made a video (for MTV?) about why mixed-race marriages won’t solve racism, and while I agree that’s true, the video was extremely condescending to people who don’t fit into easy ethnic/racial categories and mocked them as “cafe au lait.”

      Mr. Sad Rat is mixed-race and so I’ve seen firsthand just how hurtful this attitude can be to people who have spent their whole lives feeling out-of-place, especially since many of them will never be fully welcome within their own families.

      • My nephew is bi-racial. If some smug asshole felt the need to identify him as “cafe au lait” within my hearing, they would be picking their racist teeth up off the floor.

  16. Please Airbnb the OMG downtown condo Judy.
    I’m sure that will go well

  17. Unrelated. So I woke up today to learn Anthony Bourdain cashed in his chips.. Been a fan ever since reading his book “Kitchen Confidential” (lots of interesting & funny in there) back in 2005. He was so good and seemed like such a great person. Can’t wrap my head around it.. Why?? 🙁

      • Thanks for posting the link, Wolf. I hadn’t seen that. He was a great writer even at the beginning. And damn, I miss the 90’s (I’m so old now).

        • Of other articles that I read, the Smithsonian Institute article is a good one, I think. It’s a four or five-year-old interview.

    • I’m incredibly sad about his death. Bourdain was such a smart, fascinating guy and a very supportive partner to Asia Argento.

    • If memory serves I believe he struggled with addiction. Not sure that was a factor (not in that he over-dosed). Very sad week.

      • Yeah, used to be a heroin addict. With everything he had going for him, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was feeling like he was going to succumb to his addiction again. No idea, but this one gutted me. And I feel awful for his friend Eric Ripert, having found him. Big loss on so many levels. His poor child …

        • you could tell how much chef ripert loved him when they were on camera. poor man must be devastated.

          • The great rapport that Bourdain seemed to have w/ many was so apparent, I doubt he ever met a stranger.

            It made me happy to hear this morning that he’d won just about every award the industry has. Earned every last one of them hands down, I’m sure.

          • I was both saddened and heartened when I read Ripert found him. I loved them together.

        • It looks like in both Bourdain and Spade’s suicides their significant others were likely leaving them. The pain all the way around is unimaginable. A guy I dated a long time ago told me that his hs girlfriend killer herself after they broke up and she named him as the reason in the suicide note. It’s not the person who broke up with another’s fault if they decided to take their life but no matter what that guilt will follow.

    • So very sad. Spent many a night at Les Halles when it was his establishment.

      His sous-chef, later to become executive chef Carlos Llaguno passed in 2015. Hopefully they’re reunited, and cooking up a storm.

      RIP Chef.

    • It’s heartbreaking. Every single close friend of mine is devastated by the news, and they are an eclectic bunch, which just goes to show how much he meant to people from all kinds of walks of life. He was talented and compassionate, and he understood life and people. He wouldn’t let consequences stop him from speaking out when he thought he was right, and he wouldn’t let pride stop him from admitting when he’d been wrong. I can’t believe he’s gone. The world will be worse without him.

      • just knowing shes talking about it is making me feel bad

        also, everytime i see the hostgator notice when i try to load RBD, i get scared you guys will be gone forever. i dont know what i would do

        • she rambles for fucking ever, unable to make a concrete point and drops “wisdom” such as this:

          “When I breathe more deeply into what’s true, I know that there is no real safety in this diagnosis of mental illness as an explanation. It’s simply another way to create separation.”

          the fuck does this even mean?

          • I just threw up in my mouth. Here’s her bio: Creator of new law business model, business priestess, catalyst for change. Truth-teller. Eye-Opener. Artist Name: Ali Shanti.

            L’artiste then uses Spade and Bourdain’s suicides to make it all about Ali:

            “From my experience, the more “successful” I was on the outside (and while I didn’t have worldwide fame, I “made it” to all the levels of traditional success one could hope for in this life time — million dollar businesses, TV appearances, house by the beach, Mercedes in the driveway, kids in private school, you know … the whole thing), the harder it was too be with my own internal experience of the deep pain of being human.”

            Blah, blah, blah.

            Of course we get “the whole thing,” Ali, especially the humblebrag about having your kids in private school. Sorry you were in so much pain trying to do the best for your family. So happy you found Craig Filek, hard drugs, and the woo grifters, and chased off that ol’ debil suicide.

          • Excuse you, Gilly, they are “Kate” and “Anthony” to Ali Shamti.

            Shut up, Ali, just shut up. You didn’t know anything about them or their lives. Take down your self-serving blather and let the words of their friends, families, fans, and their own selves be the only voices heard at this time. Let the opinions of the experts in the study of suicide be the only opinions expressed. Stick to posting selfies on Facebook. Go build a shrine to yourself somewhere else. You are the most self-absorbed asshole ever.

          • Whorenado Ali knew about Anthony Bourdain HOW, exactly? Isn’t she one of these superior smugmutts who claim to be above it all by not owning a tv, a la Julia “Lying Liar Who Lies” Allison?

          • Tingo, you want self serving? Here’s what the old raunch wrote on FB with a link to the medium story:

            Ali Shanti
            4 hrs ·

            “Well, suicide took over my morning. But, I couldn’t do anything else until I got this one out.

            Let’s stop blaming suicide on mental illness as a way to avoid feeling the reality of the pain of life.

            Here’s an alternative possibility that could actually make the difference in your life, or someone else’s. Please read and share this article if you really want to stop suicides from happening.”

            Yes, please read and share mental health professional Skankatron 3000B’s thoughts about suicide and why she left LOLyering for her online million-dollar grifts.

            I kant with her.

          • She’s such a shameless vulture, it would be hilarious if it weren’t saw awful.

            “Don’t want your loved ones to kill themselves? Give me money and promote my scam!”

          • *SO awful. Don’t know what happened there.

          • BTW, I never saw Bourdain on TV (except on the Simpsons where he said, “There’s nowhere I won’t go and nothing I won’t eat as long as I’m paid in emeralds”) but I still know about him because my mom read one of his books about 10 years ago. I’m not saying that BOOKS are how the feathered one came to know about him, though, of course.

        • We’re going through the upgrading process. It should take a few days, but I’ve already begun to notice that the site is not crashing as much.

        • TIL renting a dump in Boulder, scamming grannies, and fucking random carnies on the backyard futon = “all the levels of traditional success”

          • JFAing here, but Judy and Ali ALWAYS have to say how much success they’re having

            And they’re not having any

      • Sociopaths never kill themselves but the people around them do. I will forever be grateful for Handbag (hope she’s okay) sharing her experience with a sociopath who said something along the lines of *he tried to assimilate (fake) human understanding and emotions*.
        Also see: Stop blaming suicide on mental illness

        • This. I was speaking to someone in Wooville who knows Donkey. X told me how very upset she is over the fallout re the Post piece. I did say that I hoped Julia wasn’t suicidal – I wasn’t being snarky – and X burst out laughing, well aware that someone that narcissistic and sociopathic wasn’t going to off herself.

    • Holy merde. I didn’t know Beauchamp had a blog. Is this what they mean by “incel”?

      • Is this really Beauchamp?
        I laughed my ass off so many times while reading this. I don’t know if I can hold enough space for asshole Beauchamp/funny Beauchamp.

    • With softness, how about stop ragging on the hostgator business. We’ve been told Gilly’s working on it

      • It also wasn’t Hostgator’s fault. The site had far outgrown its original server level. Someone just needed to figure out the best new server configuration, and now we are on our way.

    • Unless I’m missing something massive, that post is by Heartiste, a particularly virulent former-PUA. By the way, Heartiste is a name this dude chose for himself, which should tell you pretty much everything you need to know about him. David Futrelle writes about Heartiste often on wehuntedthemammoth.com. So weird to see my two internet worlds colliding.

      Heartiste is kind of infamous for his prose, which is both vicious and almost unreadably florid.

      • Addendum: as far as I know, Heartiste has nothing to do with Beauchamp outside of their constitutional assholishness.

          • Fucking typos.. Anyway, “I don’t think …” is how that shoulda started — Anyway, Beauchamp is not shy to write under his own name, he just doesn’t give a shit. That might be the thing I respect most about him, heh.. ? (Please don’t beat me up now.. heh)

          • I was joking about Beauchamp; however, looking over his site, I think Beauchamp might be Grammarian. winky emoticon

          • He gets angry at some MF’s, pretty frequently. Seems like it would become physically exhausting at some point, but he soldiers on.. I couldn’t do it myself. But then, the only things I’m that passionate about are bass guitar, audio electronics and homelessness.

          • Not sure why Grammarian was brought up. We might need to settle this Burr/Hamilton style! Heh..

      • Just another alt-right toadstool who can’t get the taste of Uncle Dad’s dick out of his mouth.

    • She had sex with the dentist, bartered. Where’s swing crazy when you need him Julia will be with him !!!!

  18. If you google Rain Phutureprimative and Julia Allison, you’ll see photos he posted on Facebook of Tiny and Cute several years ago on which donk commented. They’re under images in the google results. Donk basically fawns all over T&C in the comments about her outfit, an outfit that looks exactly like the white bedsheet Bali top above complete with arm paint and everything. Talk about SWFemaling someone. Donk even gushes about the flowers T&C wore, the very ones donk went on to wear to nearly every dirt fest thereafter. I’m thinking ILYR wishes he could return to the days of T&C and do it all differently. What a mess. When you google his name now, google suggests Julia Allison afterwards as its number one suggestion. I actually feel bad for T&C and ILYR and all these folks who were just living their lives before the hosebeast came clomping in and began eating them one by one. I can’t imagine ILYR had the slightest clue what donk was really about. And T&C has got to be thanking her lucky stars that she was one of donk’s first victims. The later ones are suffering much worse, slow vengeance rather than their quick removal out of her way.

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