Vindictive Julia Allison Goes Completely Off The Rails, Even The Woos Are Backing Away

Things aren’t going well in Donkville these days. Our burro’s plan for a Scary Sadshaw 3.0 comeback backfired on her spectacularly, even briefly turning the Twitterverse into RBD. Of course, Julia wrote a hopping mad FB post in which she blamed writer Doree Lewak of the NY Post piece for “distortions,” but most folks were too busy laughing to throw Donk another woo-is-me pity party.

Folks who haven’t been laughing are those close to ex-boyfriend Rain, who broke up with Julia, for a second time, in May 2017, and has done his best to move on, as any adult would.

But Julia refuses to let Rain go. She texts him with the tenacity of a madwoman, sometimes several times a day, and telling anyone who will listen that he was nothing until he met her – Julia created the normal, healthy Rain that he is today and she wants credit for it, gregdammmit! We hear Rain has a new girlfriend but that hasn’t stopped Wooville’s resident sociopath from trying to force another ex into a relationship.

Things reached critical mass in the last few days. Donk sent (another) deranged email to Rain, but this time she cc’ed his family members and woo women. A couple of the recipients were so shocked and angry, they forwarded the email to their friends, who forwarded the email to their friends, and so on.

We received the appalling missive, in which Julia attacks Rain’s family members because he chose to dump her — they all eventually do — 13 months ago. It’s so vile and childish that I simply cannot reprint the text in its entirety here. We may be a snark blog, but we wouldn’t hurt innocent people, people who’ve never even met Julia Allison Baugher and yet are getting blamed for another beau moving on.

Julia becomes more unhinged near the end of her tirade, berating Rain for not speaking about their relationship publicly — I guess we know who wrote his breakup letter — and threatening him: “I will not be silenced any longer … You have a choice: clean this up — or I will start to speak out about your hypocrisy.” Rain must “fix this” by “choosing the path that engenders the most love” … or else. In other words, drop everything and talk to a raving lunatic every single day. Not one word about the abusive and bullying texts that she’s been sending him for months.

Our burro did receive one response and it wasn’t from Rain. A recipient emailed back: “It’s called karma, bitch, enjoy it.”

Some of the woos we’ve discussed on RBD are well aware of the situation, but are Julia’s parents? SOMEBODY needs to stage an intervention.


    • His family. Keep in mind: she hasn’t even met some of the folks she trashes. I wouldn’t expect such immature vileness from a high school junior.

      • She’s in an altered state, surely. Due to mental health or something else. This is really beyond the pale.

        • Actually, right in character for her.

          If you recall, this is the same bitch who sent an email to an ex’s fiancee telling her that there was some sexual overlap. And then there was the way she exposed OG [Redacted]’s alleged mental illness, and used that as an excuse for why they broke up. (Later, when she wanted him to honor a promise he made while they were together to buy her a laptop computer and he responded that outing him like that negated that, she got snotty and told him to get over it)

          • Such an embodiment of love, right?

            When I read the post my first thought was also “WOW so clearly insane, she IS getting worse.” But then I remembered that in addition to her everyday mental shit, these “beyond a shadow of a doubt” insane incidents bubble up every once in a while (restraining order/s, overlap email, Morning Muffin, Seňor Yack’s lawyer….). There must be so much more insanity behind the scenes, and that’s even though the “scene” (as it were) is plenty insane already.

          • Yes, we’ve been here before, where she attempts to hang on to an ex and when he tries to move on, her vindictiveness knows no bounds. However, the cray has been amplified in the current situation. The bullying has been going on for months. Meanwhile, she doubles down with her woo sistahs and tries to present a “tho changed and sane” persona to the public.

            Hey, Donk, the goddesses aren’t as gullible as you think they are.

      • I am trying to imagine how it is even possible to think insulting an ex’s family members, the ones you never met, is a reasonable thing to do. Or that it will gain your sympathy? What on earth.

        • It’s appalling. I shared the email with our dear founder, Jacy, who lost it and sent back three comments in succession, each one more outraged than the prior.


            That was the line that really got me. Bitch, you’re 37 years old.

          • I come late to this, but: the HOURS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY really brings this shitshow full circle. I couldn’t have written it any better had I tried.

            Really, I am agog that the enlightened Bali Babe pose was even thinner and darker than I supposed.

            Same as it ever was, sigh. I really had kinda been hoping, for Julia’s sake, that she had reached a more even keel.

            Not gonna happen.

          • Also: if she is sending off these unhinged missives, and no doubt receiving some, um, interesting replies, well, no wonder about the cry face.

  1. Wow. Just … wow … I wonder if DJ Hoodie is frightened?

    Can you post excerpts of the mail, or the FB tirade?

    • Please, please post both, I’m so entertained by the nuttiness of the various developments over the past couple of days. Can’t look away! Longtime listener here, btw, longggggtime.

    • Wow…just…wow…were my thoughts exactly. They broke up over a year ago…she was by her accounts out of the country for eight months. Stalking across continents is a special kind of crazy.

    • No, sorry. Too much would be revealed. I’m not trying to be a tease, but what’s here is vicious and beyond the pale, attempting to hurt people she’s never even met.

      • Also: if she is sending off these unhinged missives, and no doubt receiving some, um, interesting replies, well, no wonder about the cry face.

  2. just when you think things could not get any crazier.

    the hopping mad fb post? if it was posted to her page, it’s been taken down.

    • I suspect it’s time for a visit to the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility for a little R&R and a lot of therapy.

      • I sense she’s exhausted her family and her so-called friends, so how is she not exhausted? Living a fraudulent, directionless life void of any purpose or helping anyone other than herself has to get old.

        Go home to Chicago girl, beg your parents for forgiveness & help with grounding yourself. There is no shame in asking for and needing help. There is shame in continued spiraling without a foreseeable positive end game. #BeBest

        • This. She’s worn out Rain, who actually attempted to be there for her months after the final breakup. But Julia is an emotional vampire and will bleed a beau dry, even after he’s made his exit. Derpin was a basket case by the time he pulled the plug.

          • I can’t believe I’m actually feeling sympathy for ILYR, given how he allowed Julia to treat tiny’n’cute. Incredible.

          • Derpin looked like Meth Man at the end of his boyfriend-for-hire contract.

          • I’ve never seen anyone look so unhappy as Derpin did when Donkey was braying at him about a Christmas tree in front of the SF Armory. It was clear that we were watching the end days.

      • This is so funny. Literally EVERY time she does this bunny boiler shit it ALWAYS ends up here. She knows this. But she keeps doing it again and again and again. I love it.

        You’re a dumbass, Donkey. Haha! ???

    • I saw that her old sister from Non Society days Cary Randolph has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which likely explains her crash and burn society wedding, followed shortly after by a quick trot back home to Mom and Dad and a divorce.

      It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Julia is committed in the near future.

      • She and Ryan Swain should share a padded honeymoon suite. OMG! Finally Married!

    • I believe someone did reference this chestnut in RBD’s recent Post coverage.

      Lather. Rinse. Fucking repeat.

  3. Haven’t even read the new post yet— I just poured myself a nice British ale, Ruby Two Foot is on TCM, a cat is in my lap, and I’m settling in for some RBD time! Sweet.

  4. Off comes the goddess mask to reveal the lizard beneath. Same as the Carrie mask when she stalked and harassed Redacted #2. It’s just part of her charm.

  5. So, all this after 8 months in Bali? You go on sabbatical from unemployment and become wound tighter and angrier? How does that work? I don’t have an understand, not a shred. But, Bali was all about finding your authentic self, right? So, that authentic you is a bitter, rage beast still hung up on a guy you haven’t dated in a year? How does that work? How does any of that work? So many legitimate questions. So little understanding. Also related, got to say it, I think ILYR is good-looking. *ducks* Not commenting on any other aspects than his physical appearance, though. I just think he’s got a nice smile and boyish charm given his age. He’s much more attractive than Ichabod Crane or Blockhead or Greasy or any of those inmate/asylum looking woos, who turn ones stomach with their grooming or lack there of. Just sayin. The only other one who was the least bit attractive of the whole bunch was fishsticks before he became bizzarro holding his stomach and whining about triggers. Not speaking at all = decently tolerable. The rest come with hallucinogens just to keep women from fleeing the building.

    • it can’t ever have been 8 months in Bali, I’ll bet it was 3 months tops.

      She NEVER learns! I know you all have been saying this for years but HOLY SHITBALLS, what a psycho.

      • I keep forgetting about those little caveats, e.i. it’s always an exaggeration. But, f–kin hell, psycho is right. Even if it were a mere week, she’s emailing a grown man’s family pissed about a relationship ending when the first number in both their age is a 3+ and the second number is >5. That’s mental. What’s the point even? Win him back outta fear and loathing? Groveling apology? Whatever it is, it’s only achievement is proof positive you’re a headcase. But, she can’t see that. You know the old saying, “When you’re actually clinically crazy, you don’t know you’re crazy”? Well, I always took comfort in my worst moments when I doubted my own sanity in remembering that saying, which doesn’t bode well for donk here at all. I’m actually kind of surprised, as if that were even possible at this point having followed her since 2008. But, I wonder if she’s had some sort of mental break. She seems seriously unstable. Why don’t her parents intervene?! She needs their presence, not just their money. If this were my second cousin or even just a friend, I’d intervene, much less my kid or sibling.

        • You know the old saying, “When you’re actually clinically crazy, you don’t know you’re crazy”?

          Is that really how it works? Asking for a friend. No, really, I am asking for a friend / acquaintance who I think IS losing his mind and sometimes says stuff like “my brain fucks with me” but more often things like “people think I need help but I don’t, I’m just old and wise enough to see how much life sucks.”

          • I think that’s just a rule of thumb. Like, my mom is crazy & knows it. Actually most of the crazy people I know, know they are crazy, but there are some who do not. I think your friend might benefit from some outcome-based questioning… not is his brain right or wrong but is it interfering with how he wants his life to be.

          • Thank you. 🙂 Yeah, something’s obviously wrong there. He sometimes doesn’t sleep for three nights (he says he “naps” or whatever) and it clearly shows in his interaction with others, which has never been that great to begin with. I haven’t seen him for a long time, he’s in California, but this is something you can see online as well. He’s aggressive AF for no reason, then he gets all sensitive and sentimental (I sent him a tune by Muddy Waters and he responded “I will love you for all time child”), then he can’t talk to anyone for a long long time, then gets back to unprovoked aggression. Someone suggested “bipolar” and he said he’s neither bipolar not clinically depressed, he just, again, “sees how much life sucks.” For a while he tried some medication, I’m not sure which, but apparently it gave him physical pain and at any rate, he don’t need no doctor in the first place. There’s always been an alcohol problem as well.

            Funny, now I remember I once mentioned him here, years ago, when I let RBD get into my head to the extent that I wrote in a semi-work-related email to him and two others: “There, there, bunnies. All shall be well.” The two others were women, so that felt less awkward, but he is, as I put it here, “a melancholic man’s man with an alcohol problem.” Someone said that sounded like Hemingway and someone else (CuntBunnies, PBUH?) prodcued a picture of brooding Hemingway in a pink bunny suit. It was glorious.

          • he sounds bipolar with a side of California. Also alcoholics age really melancholy so that’s probably got A LOT to do with it.

            But, I am not a doctor nor do I play one on the internet.

            Also can I mention how much I hate this “i’m the only one who sees how terrible everything is”… NO BITCH YOU ARE NOT… the rest of us just try harder to carry on despite.

      • It wasn’t eight months and those visa runs found Donkey frantically attempting to track down Rain. The burro will not be ignored!

        • I think it was actually back and forth for eight months. She started posting pictures from there in October. But yeah, she had to leave every month to keep her visa, and most of those trips were back to the US.

        • Wait. She spent her visa runs going wherever Rain was, or wherever she thought he was??

    • Sabbatical, noun: A period of paid leave granted to a university teacher or other worker for study or travel, traditionally one year for every seven years worked. “Dr Baugher took a sabbatical from his work at MIT in order to research quantum nanotechnology at the Institute of Photonics in Barcelona.”

    • I would guess she came back from the wilds of outer Bali and discovered his new GF is younger, prettier and saner. Just wild speculation.

      • Remember when Davidiot was playing NOLA & donkey was at her brothers MIT graduation but she skipped out early to stalk the dude?

        Gotta wonder how many surprise appearances donkey pulled on DJ Hoodie when he’d been led to believe she was still in Bali …

        • She also pulled bunny boiler drama that time she invited Avocado to play that stupid dating forum she hosted in NY after they had broken up, and he brought that young and cute and very talented Haley singer to perform with him. He and Haley weren’t dating (that we know) but Donkey lost her shit because she thought he was paying her too much attention. I think she also claimed she transformed his life by dating him, as well.

          • That’s her new shtick. Donk is such a positive, uplifting presence that creatives and entrepreneurs are at their best when she’s around. Seriously. That’s how she’s been marketing herself. Hire Julia Allison to sit in a corner while you work to discover a cure for cancer and her presence will ensure you succeed. Yes, Rainbow is just that magical!

          • that’s beyond ludicrous. Nobody feels better after having been around her so the idea that her presence alone will cheer up/inspire/reassure anyone is ridiculous.

            Julia, your exes LITERALLY RUN AWAY when they see you!!

          • Ha! Her delusions are like haemorrhoids of the soul. No wonder she seems in constant discomfort, despite all protestations to the contrary.

          • World carny leaders mount the donkey’s ass and are transformed at the summit, is what she meant, Doree Lewak! You distorted the truth!

          • So Silicon Valley fraud muse is her new jam? Sounds about right.

          • Consultant to entrepreneurs and world leaders by someone who has never been either, and who admits to the press that an unrealistic TV show ruined her life. Yeah! Line up, tech founders!

      • i think Rain is PhuturePr, but, yeah Avocado seems to be the exact same dude, just a different balding pattern.

        Also? Your username is delicious.

    • oh dear, which one was fish sticks? Racking my brain. I thought I knew em all, every last one.

  6. Hey Julie, remember when your friend was heartbroken because her boyfriend had broken up with her, and you, as the older and wiser friend, decided to have rebound sex with the guy? And rub it in her face? Because you’re a feminist who believes in sisterhood and empowering young women (or “girls,” as you call them)? Remember how smug you were when “just sex” turned into dating, and your friend’s ex-boyfriend became YOUR boyfriend? Like you’d won some sort of trophy? And now that same guy has dumped YOU, and you’re bitter?

    • Let’s not forget she had a call with the younger girl, pretending to be her friend, while ILYR was listening. That’s why I don’t even feel a little bad that someone leaked the email to the site.

  7. Everyone who comes into Julia’s life finds out eventually. She is, and will always be, a hosebeast.

    Thank you Gilly for the intel! Hoping there’s more to come! It’s so delicious.

    • Your post has me flashing on Limahl. Who?!

      Turn around
      Look at what you see
      In her face
      The mirror of your dreams

      Make believe I’m everywhere
      Given in the light
      Written on the pages
      Is the answer to a neverending story …

      (Seriously, I’m sure we’re not done here.)

    I’ve been following this jackass since that hilarious media bistro post ages ago, is it still around, btw?

    Anyway, nothing shocks me anymore with her but this is taking on some serious next level cringe since we’re both the same age and she hasn’t grown up at all.

    Pack it in, bitch. Changing your name and moving to Mongolia or somewhere permanently is your only way out.

    • I think the media bistro story is no longer available online. Insert Julia Allison cryface here.

  9. Wow. Well, I’m not surprised, but I’m not sure if she even realizes what she’s done. Say goodbye to your woo tribe, Donkey. And Rain and girlfriend, get a restraining order.

    Her next stop just has to be Jesus Camp. They are the refuge of last resort.

    • Perhaps her parents can have her sent that one of those Outward Bound style camps where they kidnap you from your own bed and break you.

      • I just saw that Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart are taken to the “Relation Ship.”

    • Camp Mystic will kick her to the curb next Burning Man because ILYR is *famous*. Donkey announcing she’s *over Burning Man* in 5…4…3…

      • He’s well liked and indeed something of a star among that crowd. Will Burning Man’s biggest, oldest cheerleader be AWOL from Camp Septic this year? Or will she be stalking Rain from one orgy tent to another?

        • Will he have to skip it again this year like he did last year, just to avoid the bunny-boiling hosebeast?

  10. CDB can enlighten ILYR on just how soon to expect a check in the mail, eh?
    Doesn’t the 1st of Never sound about right?

    I confess, I never did get my head around the foreclosed Novato house dealing — is that where the $$ owed him comes into play?

    What’s the plan now, Julia? Are you going to turn Dad$er into the condo HOA for officing out of a residence so that he gets the boot & you can have that as your new stall?

    • She’s apparently still in Colorado and has managed to talk no one in the SF area into rooming with her. Quelle surprise!

  11. Woah. But Jules was just reaming Rain out in her article about how she wanted to be poly so that’s why they broke up?

    She sounds unhinged, like untreated mania unhinged. I hope she gets some help.

    • Edit – /he/ wanted to be poly. Ostensibly that’s why it all ended but erm, perhaps not?

      • He was up front from the get go about wanting an open relationship. Such an arrangement is fairly common in Julia’s circle, so I don’t know why she was blaming a TV series that ended in the early naughts for her willingness to accept the situation.

        • Because, had she not been a devotee of SATC, she would have been more grounded and recognized he wasn’t marriage material. That’s basically what she said in that article.

          The truth is this. She thought she was so wonderful she could change him in to being the marrying kind. Just like she thought she could change Redacted’s 1 and 2, Prom King, Derpin, Avocado and everybody else. Cuz she’s that mesmerizing and special.

          As usual the article ticked all the boxes that she used to tick off with Facebook posts and, when she was writing her own stuff, her articles. Blaming something else for her problems, assuring the world she dated up a storm and was desirable in her 20’s, slamming the most recent man who broke up with her and letting him know at the same time that she’s moved on because, she’s dating someone reasonable now! And the ONLY reason she dated him was because she was not the normal, healthy Julia she is today.

          • Nailed it. Does she never tire of this cycle? Oh no of course not, because bitch is CRAZY

      • He wasn’t ready to commit.

        You could tell by his looks alone that he was f-ing around and wasn’t going to stop, specially as long as the traveling DJ shtick allowed him access to young fans.

        Of course, the Donkey is deaf and blind to anybody who is not the Donkey and did not see the obvious coming.

      • Oh so *Mr. Reasonable* from her NYPost article was a Snuffleupagus (made up man).

  12. This is the most exciting development in Donkeywood in fucking years and I’m down for it! Lols on lols.

    The only thing that would make me avert my eyes is in real life sex and that shit aint happening this month – so keep it coming Gilly!

  13. Right around the time Rain was dumping Donks, I found out my husband had cheated on me. I am finally getting to a place where I feel like I’ve recovered somewhat from the shellshock. I’ve been rebuilding my life in the meantime, including busting my ass to save up enough money to open my own business and become fully independent, not just from my husband, but from everyone, including employers.

    I received my business permit yesterday and am set to open by the end of next week. I’ve often felt like I wasn’t recovering fast enough over the past year, but yesterday, after I got home from a gruelling two-hour grilling session in a foreign language by the health department, with my permit in hand I just sat down with a cup of coffee for a rare moment of still and quiet, and it really sank in how far I’ve come in a year.

    I don’t mean to wallow in other people’s misfortune, but something about this post has made me feel even more proud of myself for gritting my teeth and getting through the past year by hauling myself relentlessly forward, even on the days when I just wanted to give up on everything.

    • Keep kicking ass! You are what success looks like! I wish you every success in the world PLUS a way hotter man that adores you. Please don’t beat yourself up for not recovering fast enough! You’re not doing NOTHING ; therefore you’re doing it right! peace love and hugs

    • Shoot. So sorry.

      Helluva comeback — best wishes on your biz’, both personal & professional.

    • All the respect and love, Dean. In Donkspeak, GET IT GIRL GET IT. But seriously, deep respect and much love.

      • Thanks to you all for your encouragement. I hesitated to post this, because it felt like such a personal humble-brag dump, but the situation I’m in (marriage visa) has prevented me from being able to celebrate what yesterday really meant to me with too many people in the offline/non-anonymous world. I’m not out of the woods, but I can finally see the sun through the trees.

        Donks is always good for those truly low moments in life, because she provides excellent object lessons on how much worse you could be handling things.

        • It’s not a humblebrag—I found your story inspiring. Sounds like you took a shit situation and are turning it into something that IS actually empowering, not just a yoni drum circle with your trustafarian friends. Congrats!

        • Wow, Dean! I think I remember where you live, which makes it all the more impressive.

          • Unfortunately, living where I do, my story–the first part of it–is just the way things play out for a lot of women, if not most. I guess I was just supposed to accept it as a natural stage of life, being a woman. But fuck that, basically.

          • Dean, I remember you talking about your situation and family and I’m very sorry to hear about what happened. Infidelity is devastating and completely life-altering.

            Which is why you are such a bad ass for pushing through and accomplishing what you have. Stay strong.

          • Thank you, mcakez. It’s probably the most confusing situation I’ve ever been in, and it’s not much clearer a year on, but I’ve just put the whole question of what to do about my marriage to the back burner (we’re separated) and have been focusing exclusively on getting my life to where I want it to be, because I don’t feel like I can make any clear-headed decisions until there’s not any part of me that’s not completely independent (financially, emotionally and most of all, in terms of my right to stay in this country).

          • Dean, I think you are in (or getting into) a good place when you can step back to see the bigger picture & then follow your head, knowing that your heart will eventually catch up. Kudos.

            My hope for ya is that you soon have that moment when you realize that whatever you do, it’s going to be okay (& you’ll know, because it really does feel like a heavy weight has been lifted, so hold out for that sense of relief). Best wishes.

        • No, really, thank you for writing your post I am so sorry this happened to you, but mad respect for everything you’ve done since then. I lived overseas for a long time and know how hard it is to establish oneself from square one. Language wasn’t as much of a barrier for me as it sounds like it was for you, and I wasn’t alone, but still, that shit is *hard*.

          Gotta say, I think about stories like this whenever one of the ‘jelly hater’ stones gets thrown at RBD. The women on this site/sight/cite are some of the most resilient, talented and amazing women I have ever encountered.

    • Dean, what a shit thing for your husband to do. Congratulations on your new business! Love love love from the basement.

    • Such great progress, Dean, and you have to be feeling good that you made things turn around. I know it probably feels like a long time, but that is a lot,of excellent work in just a year. I hope your new business does well and that your continued success and happiness becomes the best revenge. Best to you.

    • Sorry you’ve had a tough time but glad to hear you’re coming out the other side stronger!

      • Greg, Albie, Calcified PG and Winchester, thank you. This is the cosiest basment I’ve ever dwelled in. Love.

  14. Meanwhile, Kate Greer continues to date tech billionaires!

    My favorite part of Julia’s current state of affairs is that her former “intern” Kate Greer actually achieved everything Julia ever wanted, all by not being crazy. Glamorous life, jets around the world doing yoga and art, clique of fashiony-artsy girlfriends, billionaire boyfriends… haha, Julia. She got it and you didn’t!! Guess it pays to not be a psychotic donkey hosebeast narcissist. Lol.

    • Now I’m no relationship expert, but there just might be something to this “not being crazy” stuff..

      I read somewhere recently (possibly a comment on a post here?) that Julie had a competition going with her unpaid interns a decade ago about who would be the first bag a billionaire? So I guess Kate wins, and Julie loses? Who woulda thunk that being a bitch in a poofy prom dress wouldn’t make a billionaire wanna put a ring on it?

    • Kate started a popcorn company? And is an artist?

      Real question, how do girlfriends of rich men support themselves, is there independent wealth (either self made or inherited)? Or is it really just the masculine pays for it all and if you don’t get a ring on it…..keep looking? Downgrade your lifestyle?

      • A somewhat embarrassing answer / personal anecdote, I was a rich guy’s girlfriend for a short time (that would translate into 5 years in Donk’s unique “relationshit rhythm”) in my early 20s, and yes, the masculine paid for everything. Now and then I got into a “I can’t accept this” mode / mood and he just said, “I don’t see why.” For a variety of reasons, this would feel even more embarrassing when one is over 30, but it could also be that fewer rich men are willing to pay everything for old expired hags, ha.

        • thanks! I can see how this happens to people in their 20s, or being the girlfriend when theres also a job/viable career happening.

          i guess this is all for me to say, fattykate, i hope youve got savings/fuck-you money stashed away. maybe jack gave you twitter stock?

    • OMGreg YES. Hahahaha. She was so certain she’d be front and center in this NYT piece. I suppose taking 6 months and 7 drafts to write a fluff piece about Burning Man for the NYT (and likely being an asshole behind the scenes) didn’t exactly endear you to them.

      The comeuppance has finally come up-pence.

    • Oh, my lord! Karma IS a bitch! All those Carrie Bradshaws who actually achieved success through smarts and hard work. This piece deserves its own RBD story but we’ve got content coming out our ears!

  15. LULZ once again at the obviously completely manufactured “reasonable” new boyfriend. Yes, that’s how someone behaves when in a new relationship — by criminally harassing an ex and his family and new GF for more than a year after the breakup.

    Seriously, Rain and family — CALL THE FUCKING COPS.

  16. Seeing Ali and the juvenile onesie gang in Boulder we can hope that she is on an inevitable course for a rendezvous with Mental Dental. And then therapy in Illinois

  17. This is plenty. This is more than enough.


    Also, will never forgive Chad for the fucking hoods. Stahp.

    • Sorry, Albie, I had to redact those comments for now. Please trust me on this one – things are crazy behind the scenes and details keep emerging.

  18. Rain was nothing until he met Julia? OK.

    Pre-Julia, he had a talented dance partner who also did his social media marketing and tour promos. With Julia, he got a strokeface donkey in assless chaps whose “dancing” was openly mocked by festival attendees.

    Her backlash against polyamory is also confusing in light of her participation in the orgy scene (Ghost Ship, etc.), bikissuality, and the intel that her relationship with ILYR was conditioned upon remaining available for sex with Avocado. Here’s hoping the anti-polyamory, integrity-filled Judy of today blossoms into a born-again, Jesus Camp Donkey of tomorrow!

    • She wanted to remain available for sex with Avocado? I never heard that. I can imagine Avo being like “nah I’m good”

      • As bizarre as it sounds, I recall we were told it was the other way around (David wanted to continue sex with Jabba). Think it was in the Caeli La info dumps.

  19. I’m confused: in the last few days she sent all this?

    Isn’t she at a place in her life where reasonable is very sexy? Is the reasonable man who is also very sexy OK with her stalking her polyamorous bald DJ ex?

    • I believe she sent the email referenced in this post on June 4; however, Stalker Donkey has been harassing Rain for months.

      • JFAing to add: You’re teasing about the reasonable man, yes? Because clearly no such person exists.

        • Wait … I thought quite possibly that Reasonable Man was the hanging-out-the-kitchen-window-vying-for-attention-from-a-tragically-sexy-burro Frat Boy all growled up now who is what he is because he thrived under Donk’s adept world leader tutelage …


  20. Julia has earned more money from her settlement agreements with exes than she has from wages. While the settlement numbers have no doubt gone down proportionally to her own stock and value, this has been her shtick since at least 2006. She threatens to blog/social media/PageSix/email blast unless the ex pays her a sum.

    It probably wouldn’t shock you to learn that Dadsers does the drafting.

    • Her tactics are like Scientology. She documents dirt on people and then threatens to out them.

      • I thought of Scientology and NXIVM when reading the email, and more than one male in Judy’s orbit reminds me of Raniere.

    • That sure Dovetails nicely with my #SugarDaddyAirlineMiles pinkmail theory.

      • I’ve always been convinced she was escorting from 2005-2015. Not sure if she still maintains any clients currently.

    • Surely she and Dadsers haven’t been trying to strong-arm this last batch of suitors into financial settlements? With the exception of Avocado’s dear mama, Julia Hagerty, no suitor in this group, or their families, have excess cash to toss at a conniving burro.

    • Novelist Jami Attenberg perhaps summed it up best in a tweet: “Oh, my God, could you imagine blaming all your bad life choices on a TV show?”

      Unlike Allison, I’m not doling out blame

      Good job, Donk. Even the other former Carrie fangirls think you’re deranged.

      • They dismissed her in two sentences and Donkey wasn’t even mentioned in the Times.


  21. Hi catladies.

    I’ve been a daily reader of this site for about 3 years and am ready to come forward with stories to tell.

    I emailed Julia Allison in 2013 after stumbling across her website and reading in her bio that she enjoys mentoring young entrepreneurial journalists, which perhaps I am one. She said she would *LOVE LOVE LOVE* to mentor me. We met in NYC one day while she drank green juice and had some inspiring advice to share. I invited her to a theater show I was in and she attended on some comped tickets and then she ghosted me basically.

    My parents are on the narcissism spectrum (my dad has some BPD traits). I grew up drinking nyquil to subdue my panic attacks to go to sleep at night, developed a love for pot and other mind-altering substances, and often found myself disassociating into spiritual realms as a way to survive day to day life in a house where I couldn’t voice many of my feelings or needs, received conditional love based on my academic performance, was left alone as infant with a rotating series of caretakers who barely spoke English, and was put down all the time for being sensitive and different.

    I’m the black sheep of the clan and really felt I had found my “tribe” when I stumbled across the woo subculture – everyone claimed to be my family and were all about these virtues and building a new paradigm of peace and love and inclusion in society and were practitioners of the healing arts. I found it all very hopeful and compelling, like I could finally be myself and rally with people for something, but time after time have been burned by those who identify with this “movement” to the point it has almost cost me my life.

    I’m no perfect specimen myself (and developed a myriad of disorders I’ve spent my 20s working through due to my childhood of neglect and abuse). However what I observe is a lot of splitting within the psyches of these people – as is seen in Julia and her attempt to present this persona of being spiritual and a new person and whatnot. I’m convinced most of not all who are drawn to this crowd have massive amounts of unhealed trauma that keep them from being able to integrate into society or be able to hold themselves accountable for their impact on others. And while they may want to be pure and clean of it and live in the light or whatever and be beyond dealing with the nitty gritty reality of their own fragile egos and pathological narcissism (caused by childhood abuse/neglect and the superficial values of the cultural zietgiest that they claim to be beyond but actually personify), many aren’t really willing to step down from the cloud and do the dark and dirty work of just being a decent human, even when it’s unsexy.

    I have many horror stories. But perhaps the worst are the goddesses who feign caring about others and charge exorbitant rates to “heal” and “empower” young women who feel insecure in their sexuality and appearance, though they have little background in the latest trauma recovery research and what actually works. I met a woman like this, put her on a pedestal (because that’s what she placed herself on), followed her work for years; but it was always at the end of the day all about her – her self-promotion and furthering her image as the ultimate goddess sent to heal the Earth. She never really cared about anyone other than her tribe of elite woos, which I wasn’t cool enough to be a part of.

    This site has been a guilty pleasure and refuge for me. It has validated that my perceptions of these people are accurate when I’ve been spiritually gaslighted, freeloaded on, lied to, bullied, and abandoned – once by a woo man who claimed to be “the ascended masculine archetype” and hangs out with ILYR and his circle. He promised me the sun and the moon and then jumped ship as soon as I mentioned that his behavior made little sense and that the lack of integrity in his actions were sucking me dry.

    I’ve almost entirely kicked my vulnerability to being seduced by these people and what they claim to represent. I feel hopeful that I will be able to create my own version of spirituality that serves my sense of wellbeing in the world without needing it to be part of a counterculture movement.

    I used to really think these festivals were really going to unite humanity when I was younger. Now I just see them as long party that is actually hard to enjoy without drugs. However on them, it’s a pretty fun way to spend my time, but I don’t want to make my life about it.

    I am almost 31, have been blown out so many times by partnering with these types that it’s left me bedridden for months. I am finally, finally shifting my approach and have enough self-esteem in my abilities that I’m going to go into the corporate workforce and perhaps earn a decent living doing things that might create real positive change in society.

    The funny thing is that my parents are Type-A, by-the-books, secular, left brained, wealthy but tight-pocketed, empathy-less, controlling and untrustworthy people and when I found the eccentric, emotionally-open, free-flowing, cosmic and creative woos I jumped on the bandwagon. They seemed so opposite, I thought I might find some salvation there. But in reality, the experience I’ve had with them has been almost the same.

    I’ve recreated my history of narcissistic abuse with the people who I thought were going to help me heal from it.

    Ok! I’m done. Just had to share.

    • Thank you. I’m sorry to hear that you have had to deal with so much shit, and I wish you many good things from now on.

    • It sounds like you are on the right path even though it is a hard one. Keep doing what you’re doing and take care of yourself.

    • Oh, honey. *big hugs* You sound very wise, articulate and insightful for your tender years. Kind of touched my cold black heart. Sorry donks was such a taker hosebeast to you. Don’t let it discourage you from reaching out. I’m a mere bottom sucking attorney, which is to say a wannabe writer who’s intimated by the actual writers running around these parts. Otherwise, I’d reach out to you myself. But keep doing what you’re doing. This site has been my refuge many a time when I couldn’t leave the house for weeks at a time. I know trauma from a childhood of physical and sexual abuse as well. I did national television advocacy twice when I was younger and more fearless than I’ll ever be again since the first number in my age stopped being a three. And, I can definitely say, you’re light years beyond my own understanding of trauma at your age. So buck up little pup. Your depth of understanding make me smile and not worry about you one bit.

    • Thank you for sharing your story.

      I have found, over many years and many heartaches, to stay away from extremes. In pastimes, in habits, in thought, in people and in love. Rollercoasters get old really, really fast.

      This is what turns me off the woo set when I read about them. It’s just all so much, you know? They are eternally looking for things but never actually finding them. Because no matter what they find, they are never satisfied. There is always something more, bigger, better, faster, more enlightened, more peaceful. Always deep diving or digging deeper. Some things in life just aren’t that deep. Go have some pizza and a beer with a friend. There is peace and serenity to be had in the every day. They spend a lot of time looking for things that are right in front of their damn faces. Which is sad to me, mostly, until they start selling their enlightenment to others. Sorry, those are good old fashioned con men/women, not friends, ever.

      Could you imagine asking one of your friends who reached out for help for $399 for your half day seminar (cacao included)? Get the fuck out of here with that shit!

    • Oh honey.

      You are worthy of love and friendship and support and respect and happiness.

      I am so glad you got out.

      And I heartily recommend goof solid therapy with a well-trained therapist… to everyone.


    • Since we know Julia reads here.all.the.time, first apologize to this person for being shitty and second, take note, this is what actual growth looks like.
      Good for you on recognizing that the extremes of any *side* are abusive and lack tolerance. You’re doing great, don’t look back! Thanks for sharing your experience.

  22. I am just staggered by this. I keep thinking I’ve seen to the bottom of the well of Julia’s shittiness, and I keep being proven wrong.

    But, Jesus. I have a good friend whose situation is roughly similar to Dean’s. Basically, she gave up her job and moved to a different country because her husband got an amazing work opportunity (and she was able to get a position at his new company, though not doing what she loved). Then they lost everything in a natural disaster. Then her husband told her he was leaving after 11 years. Then his company terminated her contract. So now she’s stuck in another country with the rug totally pulled from under her. And yet she is acting with more grace and dignity than I can imagine, certainly more grace and dignity than *I* would in that situation.

    I don’t really have any good way to finish this, except that I was just emailing this friend before checking for RBD updates and the contrast was obvious. I guess it just seemed clear, all of a sudden, that this isn’t a phase for Julia, or a period of growth, or whatever. This is how she is. And will be, forever.

  23. RBDers keep fantasizing about Donkey hooking up with Ryan Swain, AKA Mental Dental, especially because she’s still in Boulder. Guess what? Ali Shanti, our favorite skank-a-rama, is hosting a onesie party with Swainy Todd! It’s the bottom of the barrel, bunnies, and probably the only place where our burro could land a potential husband. Fingers crossed!!

  24. You know, it occurs to me that donk, having pending eviction proceedings against her at the time, possibly did not rent the McMansion in her name. ILYR maybe did. But, she skipped out on the obligation and just has her stuff there as a placeholder on ILYR’s life? Maybe he had to arrange Justin and the AirB&B from hell because he’s on the hook legally? Who knows. But, gregdamn is that not a crappy thing to do to someone if so?

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