Updated: Franchesca “Chescaleigh” Ramsey Has A Chapter About Julia Allison & RBD’s “Jealous Haters” In Her New Book

Back in the day, Franchesca Ramsey, “an American comedian, activist, television and YouTube personality, and actress,” was a regular commenter on RBNS and RBD, posting under the name “Chescaleigh.” which is also the name of her YouTube channel. About six months ago, Ms. Ramsey contacted us about taking down a post from 2012 that mentioned her being on Anderson Cooper, as well as being a commenter on this blog.

Ms. Ramsey has a new book out, Well, That Escalated Quickly, which features a chapter, “Stop Hating and Start Studying,” concerning a barely disguised Mulia Mallison and this blog. “Stephanie” has “rich parents, a cushy job at a gossip magazine, a marginally successful pop culture web series, a pilot in development, and a couples’ blog with her boyfriend that was a total disaster.” Yep, that’s our Donk.

Ramsey writes of spending much time on RBNS, later RBD, where the blog’s “only rule was ‘Don’t poke the beast,’ which meant that we agreed not to contact Stephanie or taunt her into reading our posts. (But it was totally acceptable to call her a beast. Sheesh.)” The blog is “so high school,” yet Ramsey agrees to meet fellow RBDers, a situation that turns “blatantly uncool,” the opposite of my own experience spending time with cat ladies outside the blog. But one of Ramsey’s cat ladies seems to have been scary Partypants, so there’s that!

The takeaway from RBD? Ramsey comes to realize she’s just jealous of Judy, as is everyone else on RBD. She lets go of the “haterade,” fearing a move from hater to troll, and starts studying what’s important to her career! It’s very inspirational: ” … don’t sit around making memes about how your dog could paint better than this girl – get into the studio.”

Hey, I get it. Don’t waste time on a snark site when you could be doing so much more. (Like Donkey, who gives much of her time to those less fortunate than herself.) But Facebook can also be a tremendous time suck, as can reality television. With the exception of Miss Advised, I’ve never watched a single reality show. Not Survivor nor The Bachelor nor anything from Andy Cohen’s Real Housewives franchise. Hell, I never even made it through the final episode of Miss Advised because it was so greg damn boring. But I do like this internet reality show, a fun diversion, which has careened from New York publishing to the smells of Wooville, with many a bizarre stop and strange persona along the way.

As for being jealous of Julia Allison, nope. Not ever. I first met her many years ago and was baffled and appalled by the loud, short-skirted vulgarian who seemed to be doing a parody of the nouveau riche. I’ve never envied living in a shoebox and “writing” a gossip column for a rag. Nor am I jealous of the cut-rate woo she’s become. Penniless, homeless, jobless, and lying about boyfriends and employment to the New York Post. I have a great job, family, friends, pets, purpose – everything Julia Allison wants but has failed to achieve. I find her fascinating but also horrible, dishonest, constantly scheming, and her own worst enemy. Why would I, or anyone, be jealous of that subject position?

I hope you have a lovely day.

Update: I can’t keep up, bunnies! Our beloved Jacy was so annoyed by Chescaleigh’s comments about RBD that the Anderson Cooper post went back up. Meanwhile, Donkey is blowing up on Reddit and more, more, more is coming in. Now I have to make dinner!


  1. I’ve never understood the “jealousy” thing. Has Donk’s life ever looked all that fabulous? Even looking back to when she was fooling some people into thinking she was a Carrie Bradshaw-esque journalist, she’s such a 5th-rate, bargain basement, uncool version. Free designer clothes? Cheap polyester crap and her granny’s old Chanel bag. Free travel? Paid for by guys you’re not interested in, to places you don’t particularly want to visit. Glam parties? We’re these people your actual friends, or were you just using them? Female friendship? She’s not even on speaking terms with her best friends from those days.

    It’s like that Samantha Whoever weirdo in the article from the last thread: she’s a perfectly normal-looking person— prettyish, but nobody you’d really notice walking down the street— who thinks the world is jealous of her beauty. Look around— there are absolutely jaw-droppingly gorgeous models and actresses on every supermarket tabloid, and most women aren’t even jealous of THEM.

    • This. The first time I saw Julia she was in a cheerleader costume, with stringy hair and makeup smeared all over her face. She looked like a cut-rate Kabuki performer! What was there to be jealous of?! Also, why would anyone be jealous of a 37-year-old layabout who lives like a desperate college student, often having to ask her parents to bail her out?

    • Here is what baffles me about the, “they’re just jealous” thing. I also enjoy horror movies. I find them entertaining. Am I jealous of the murderer? The dead girl? The ghosts?

      • For me it has always kinda been like watching a never-ending train wreck.. except the engineer driving the train is a lying, scheming, conniving, manipulative attention whore.

        • And if you were watching an actual train wreck you would not be jealous of the crazed engineer, nor of the victims.

          • But they get so much attention, especially those poor souls who’ve been forced to travel, dare I say it, second class! And everyone feels sorry for them, except for the pleb of a train driver perhaps who ruined everything for his betters.

    • I so loathe when other people assign their feelings to everyone else. No Chesca…..YOU were jealous. Glad you were able to decipher all of your complex feels on the subject of Julia Allison Baugher, but, leave the rest of us out of it, why don’t you?

      • Exactly. One of my gigs involves working with a lot of “famous” (I’m using the term very, *very* loosely — so loosely that scare quotes alone don’ quite cut it) people, and I’ve realized that people who want to be famous for fame’s sake cannot grasp the concept that some people aren’t interested in being famous at all. I think it’s safe to say everyone wants to be successful and well-known in their field, but that’s different from fame. People who are jealous of JA are jealous of her “fame”, because that’s all she ever had, and they’re fundamentally incapable of understanding why everyone else doesn’t want the same thing.

        • This. I’ve been thinking about this nonsense and how a seemingly intelligent person could arrive to that conclusion. I have no idea what Franchesca does for a living or what she has been up to online, so maybe I was just missing some important data.

          Is the desire to be “famous” in the Donk (10 years ago) sense so universal? I really really don’t think so. I know such people exist, hence reality shows, but I don’t think I personally know anyone like that. Here is what my closest female friends, all of them more or less Donk’s age, do (and please trust I’m not trying to brag with other people’s accomplishments or stage a “SO PROUD” moment, I believe this is a fairly normal situation among adults who were lucky enough to have a relatively privileged background):

          A is a historian who teaches at a Spanish university, regularly contributes to scholarly periodicals and books and goes to OMG conferences (that deal with history, sadly, no self-actualization or feathered goddess fauxto shots) around the world.

          B is a diplomat who, after spending some time in foreign missions, now works at the ministry of foreign affairs.

          C is a lawyer who works at another government institution.

          D takes care of physically and mentally handicapped people in a live-in arrangement.

          E is a cabin interpreter in the European Parliament.

          Three of them raise their own kids. They’re all happily married, happily partnered up or happily dating around (to use the stupid SATC nomenclature, B is a bit of a “Samantha” in that she usually has 2-3 fuckbuddies around; not my style but hey, good for her). They all have this highly unusual sense of humor that doesn’t require you to be the loudest braying person in the room. Most of them speak more than one foreign language. They all know how to dress, style their hair and put on makeup (well, I think D might use some advice, but that could be just me), and they all wear decent / pretty shoes, no NAST clompers of the kind that makes you look like a tryhard nitwitted hick.

          I can guarantee that none of them could be paid to trade places with Donk even at the point she was at her perceived “high.”

          • The “you’re just jealous and wish you were famous, too” is wrong, weak and bullshit. Some of us are just introverts who’re appalled, amazed and/or offended that someone could get away with such awful and what should be socially unacceptable behavior.

            Some of us who have no ability to ever help someone like her get their “comeuppance,” but can only watch from the sidelines often come here to see what happens and make their own commentary.

            Julia has done some really awful fucking things to people who didn’t deserve it. There is nothing wrong with anyone harboring bad feelings about it or wanting to talk a little shit about it. “That was years ago” doesn’t make it okay, it just makes it older.

            They used to have a saying around here, that Chescaleigh might benefit from.. “Don’t internalize the snark.”

        • The “famous” people I work with keep trying to toss me what they perceive of as amazing opportunities and don’t understand why I turn them down. They think I’m shy or lack self-confidence because I have no interest in being on TV. I just have no interest in being on TV. I don’t see what advantage it would have for me, in my chosen field or in any other field I have any interest in, and I don’t at all care for the idea of being a so-called public figure. I think a lot of catladies are like that, and that’s part if what draws us all here — because we are fascinated by this drive that we don’t understand.

          I have nothing against people who use publicity to move themselves forward in a field they are passionate about, but there are a lot of people out here striving just for the TV appearances themselves with no bigger goal behind it — not even acting — and I really don’t get it.

          • I hate generalizations about nations and I dislike Ultra Violet, but I remember she wrote something about how bizarre it seemed to her when, not too long after she first arrived in the US, she started to get into the circle of Andy Warhol’s superstars and (even worse) wannabe superstars who seemed absolutely HYPNOTIZED by the idea of fame, any kind of fame. She thought it had something to do with their growing up glued to television (then again, everyone knows Donk never watched TV) and worshipping it, which just didn’t happen on this scale in France. So she thought it was something inherent in the “American psyche.” Of course movie stars also had cult following in France and elsewhere, but this interpretation of fame as the absolute pinnacle of human existence had been unknown to her until then.

          • Americans certainly pursue the fame monster more than Euros, or any other citizenry, so I’ve come to be less and less surprised when encountering Americans who actually seem to give a shit about the Kardashians. I wish I’d had this awareness when encountering a Paris Hilton-crazed Donkey back in the day.

          • Fame-mania is also A Thing in South Korea, according to my friends from there. But there is a big US influence on that, I’m sure.

        • I’ve always said that if I had the choice between fame and money, I’d choose money every time. I have no desire to be famous or attend party’s with the media elite. I hate having my picture taken. I can’t tell you the last time I wore a dress. I have never even tried on a pair of stillettos. When I look at a pair, all I can think of is “Why the hell would I do that to my feet? What have they ever done to me to deserve that?” I could not identify a pair of Manolo’s if you put a gun to my head.

          That said, I do wish I had FU money. I’d love to have a personal chef, fly in that section of the plane where you have your own little sleep/entertainment pod, own a little island getaway, have someone at my beck and call to do my hair. Though, I suspect I’d still buy $35 purses at Kohl’s because I can’t see myself ever thinking that a 20K Hermes purse would be a good use of my money.

          Anyway, Julie never had FU money or any of that, (that was hers or that she didn’t have to beg, borrow or lie to get access to), so what was there to be jealous of? She pretty much grifted everything and now lives off of her parents. I want my OWN FU money!

          And she says herself that, she didn’t have fame, she had infamy. And it’s not like she had fame, and then had infamy. It started out as infamy, it stayed infamy and there it remains today.

          • Very well said.

            I’ll just add there are some nuances too, which makes what you said even more to the point. I like wearing dresses and stilettos, and I would still choose FU money over fame ANYTIME. Hell, I’d choose the absolutely non-FU money I have right now, with zero money added, over fame. The idea that hundreds (thousands, millions) of strangers would form and share opinions on me and expect things from me and that is somehow supposed to be DESIRABLE seems asbolutely bizarre to me.

    • I have had all the privileges A Donkey had, except for financially flush and indulgent parents. I chose to do different things with my opportunities.

      Yeah, I might have liked to have been offered a column in TONY, even a dating column, instead of pitching freelance stuff. I might have liked to have been offered a column in the Trib, even a tech/social media column. I probably would have done a better job with those than Donk, given that I actually turn things in on time.

      I also made a lot of stupid mistakes in my 20s, some very public (though I never sent out press releases about them). But by the time I was Judy’s age, I was generally happy and serene, had a great group of friends who 100% had my back, a lovely circle of fun acquaintances, and strong relationships with family. This all took work, mind you, as well as enormous luck. Oh, and a lovely husband (who didn’t have a sick whip, though) who adored me, not that I (unlike Judy) think that’s essential to happiness.

      Now I’m in my 50s and feel so lucky every day, despite shitty health and some career disappointments. I wish that for everyone in the world, even Donkey, but I wouldn’t bet on her finding it unless she gets real help for her horrendous case of FOMOitis, laziness, and lack of empathy.

      Tl;dr: I’ve never been jealous of Julie Albertson, for reals. Annoyed? Yeah. Think opportunities have been wasted on her indolent ass? Most definitely. Filled with hilarity at her endless fuckery? Oh, yeah.

  2. I suppose someone who was out to become a famewhore herself might have been jealous that Donkey kept falling upward and had her parents to keep funding her nonsense.

    The rest of us are just around for the laughs. It’s like watching Arrested Development in real time and playing MST3K on the sidelines. Nobody here is jealous, just entertained and making smartass comments.

    Speak for yourself only, Ms. Chescaleigh. Sorry you are that insecure.

    • Now if Animal Planet offered Donk a spot where she got to play with baby tigers, I might be jealous. But that would never happen in a million years. (Sea World shilling doesn’t count.)

    • Yep. This is much more about Franchesca and her insecurities than why we watch/mock Donkey. Many of us have MUCH more — financially and/or spiritually — than Julia could ever have, and we saw that 10+ years ago.

      I have never envied her empty desperation and her inability to maintain friendships and other relationships. And I know I’m far from the only one here like that

      • Franchesca wanted fame and went after it with a vengeance. I don’t watch MTV or follow YouTube “personalities,” but she appears to have some talent and has done a great job marketing her brand. Of course someone who so heavily desired media attention would be jealous of a talentless donkey who was being handed undeserved opportunities in publishing and broadcasting, only to ride those opportunities into the ground.

    • Well, Chesca was doing the same media work, but with much more talent and drive, so I can see how she could have resented Judy’s many squandered and undeserved opportunities. But not that many people are really focused on being YouTube celebrities/high-profile columnists/authors, so it’s unlikely many of us shared those resentments.

  3. I suppose every coming of age story needs a chapter of past actions the author regrets. Having said that, back then I was under the impression that she fully understood it was never about jealousy around here – as mentioned, what was/is there to be jealous of, unless anyone felt the burning desire for a failed life despite every conceivable advantage – but rather about the snark at some grotesque spectacle thriving on the attention. Guess I was wrong.

  4. maybe ive been jealous of the opportunities julia’s been given, but i cant say that ive ever seen her life and thought “now that, *that* is what i want”

  5. Always liked Chescaleigh, no doubt always will. That said, I’m almost inclined to wonder if she’s conflating jealousy with envy. Even then I’d be hard-pressed to be envious of donkey, much less jealous.

    Donk is mired in a misery of her own making, & she who won’t even drag her hooves to wipe her own ass will forever be miserable. Jealous of terminal laziness? Nah, not moi. Donk is determined to be resistant, so she won’t do a job of any sort, & therefore will never know the satisfaction of a job (well) done, but that’s kind of the gist of it all: she does not know how to be satisfied with anything, much less appreciative or happy.

    Donk lies when the truth would suit her, & if there’s one thing I detest w/ a passion, it’s a pathological liar. It’s not even remotely possible for me to be jealous of a liar because they’re scum in my book.

    Donk is incapable of maintaining relationships w/ her own family, much less friends & former boyfriends — nothing to gloat about when people back away in sheer disgust.

    Finally, there’s this: just about every vile thing Trump inadvertently reveals about himself is something that I’ve already learned about Donk over the last nine years here, none of which I would ever aspire (ass-pyre?) to be.

    HEY, DONK! See ya; wouldn’t wanna be ya! ?

    • Speaking of former boyfriends: I wonder whether she’s still on speaking terms with Derpin, and what she thinks about his new cannabis business. I know he did all the ridonkulous Healing Chef/fake NBC mic/fake LOLYer nonsense, but that was on her watch. Now he has taken responsibility for running an actual business, and— from the Modesto news sources cited here— is being very transparent and ethical about it. Good for him.

      So, my point is: does Donk ever have the “what should I do with my life” talk with her friends, and do the non-insane, non-grifter friends ever give her advice? Derpin could OMG coach her to identity a passion of hers and explore how she could earn a living doing it.

      • Their breakup was nuclear, so I doubt he’s advising Donk on her train wreck of a life.

        I do hope Derpin’s weed biz is a smokin’ success and he opens stores all over California.

          • I want all of her exes to get married and be blissfully happy.

            Except OMGRain, he’s awful, nobody deserves to be married to that.

      • I’m sure that Dan, Who no doubt has the patience of a saint, gave her plenty of good advice.

        She didn’t want advice; she only wanted to hear herself talk about none other than herself.

        She’s only going to listen to the voices in her head who say “Look at me! Look at me!”

          • A world full of NGMBs. Rich enablers, in whose eyes she can do no wrong and who provide an endless stream of praise, asking nothing in return. Life on a gilded pedestal.

    • You know who I’m jealous of these days? Donald Glover. Because we are roughly the same age and I know he has more talent and drive in his little finger on a bad day than I will see in my lifetime.

      Sometimes I’m jealous of Donkey’s ability to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, but she only has that because she’s elected to make nothing of herself, and those two things can’t be untangled. And I can’t say for sure that I wouldn’t be almost as useless if I weren’t out here working without a net like almost everyone else, so I’ll take my busy schedule, work-filled evenings and weekends and obligation to build a decent life for myself any day.

      I reckon most of us are jealous of some aspects of Donkey’s life, but we know that the good comes with the bad, and that’s just not a good deal in the end.

      • Oh, honey. Donk isn’t able to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. She’s broke and jobless and in dire straits, frantically looking for a roomie(s) in the states. Are you jealous of the stench of desperation?

        • Speaking of stench, it’s like walking past the homeless guy who’s sleeping on the sidewalk covered in his own pee while on the way to work and envying his “freedom” to not have to be somewhere at a certain time and do something for a specified amount of time every day

        • Not anymore, but in the past. And to be honest? I could really use three/eight months in Bali right now, so she still looks kind of footloose and fancy free from where I’m sitting.

          • I would love it if my parents were alive (most of all) and would write me a check for an extended vacation in Bali, sure. But having to be Judy to get it would be a hell of a Monkey’s Paw scenario (Donkey’s Paw?)

          • well the difference between you, Dean, and her, is that you’d actually appreciate it and use the opportunity to better yourself, be respectful while learning and enjoying the culture/country, and not clomp around tone deaf doing nothing on someone else’s dime and actually GET something out of it…..

      • Donk is a prisoner. If you don’t control your own purse strings, you don’t control your own life. She can’t even control her own image (yet claims to be a personal branding expert… media strategist… whatever fake job title she’s using these days.)

        I admit, I’ve had a parental safety net to fall back on if I needed it. I’ve had some fun trips and extra niceties because of it. But I’ve also had a full-time job and have been self-supporting forever. I would never have dreamed of telling Mom$er and Dad$er, “I want to live in San Francisco/travel to Bali/drive a Mercedes, but not pay for it.”

        Is a sleazy, grifted trip to Miami/Bali/Aspen/Sweden better than no trip at all? Is it better to be a pretend journalist/pretend relationship expert/pretend author/pretend activist/pretend consultant/pretend entrepreneur, than to put in the hard work/time/training/schooling to do those things for real? Integrity, my [raft] ass. Values, INDEED.

        Look, she’s not Paris Hilton. Her parents have had to work for a living to support her. Even people who ARE able to live off an inheritance will often sit on a board of directors somewhere, fund a non-profit, create a foundation, etc. She’s simply the dude who lives in his parents’ basement, but on an OMG global level.

        There’s no shame in having been born on third base. Nor is there any shame in having a regular ol’ job and needing to live with room-mates to make your rent. But don’t bray that you’re a “change activist” who’s EXTRA EVOLVED and working hard to make “the planet” a better place. So you gave a lil’ talk in your friend’s backyard, to all your other friends… don’t bray that you “advise world leaders in omni-considerate thought leadership and regenerative community building.”

        I realize that it’s not cool to speculate on someone’s mental state in a public forum (except for Trump; he’s fair game), but jeez, Donk, stop being a lying asshole. Just stop. Clearly you care about what strangers on the web think of you, so stop spinning the crazy, delusional stories that make people think you’re crazy and delusional. Unless you actually WANT that kind of attention, which is… super unhealthy and un-evolved.

        Nobody will judge you for being single or married or whatever– but they WILL judge you for braying a lifetime of “WHERE’S my husband??!! I want a boyfriend!!! Guess what?! A boy gave me a free trip and free shoes and free dresses!!! Did you hear I have a boyfriend??!!! Guess what? I’m no longer a loser, because I’m now dating someone!!! We’ve been on two dates and I think I’ve found my husband!!!” and creating pinboards of wedding ideas and engagement photos and subscribing to bridal magazines and referring to guys you’re dating as your fiance… and then public claiming, “You know, I’ve always been an independent woman and have never really cared about getting married. All The Boys wanted to marry me, but nope, I was never interested. Oh, you though I was a founder-chasing nutcase? Nope, that’s not the real me. Noooo… that was the fault of a sitcom! I watched a tv show and it made me APPEAR to be a crazy asshole.”

        Why do I care? Why do I bother to pick this person apart? Sometimes I do feel bad about it… I also believe that anyone who finds this site toxic/hurtful should stay away from it. Sometimes I’m a fixer, I guess. Like, stop throwing money at woo BS and do the hard, non-sparkly work of adulting. There are normal, non-woo self-help books out there. There are trained, non-goddess life coaches who can give good, solid help.

        TL; DR: Donk.

        • I feel like ‘TL; DR: Donk’ is going to be my mind’s natural replacement for ‘borrringgg‘.

          Thanks, Tingobama!

        • That’s the thing. You can’t isolate the good parts from the whole package, and the whole package is a nightmare.

  6. Jesus fuck, Chescaleigh, I used to think you were cool and you write this shit and back peddle.

    Congrats on being ever so enlightened, you sound just like “Stephanie”. Gross.

    I live a life Julia Allison has always dreamed of, fuck off with that jealousy shit.

    • A++++ CONTENT, would read again.

      PS Franchesca Ramsey, a lot of us are her for the comeuppance after Julia Allison hurt or tried to destroy someone we love.

      • Yes, some of us have witnessed Julia Allison do horrible things and so we enjoy those moments of, as Rainbow would say, karma.

        • Especially Lily dog. RIP you sweet old thing. I’ll never forget how she literally dragged you behind her. Sick bitch.

      • which is totally fair. i know she’s hurt people, i didn’t gloss over that. i find it ironic that ya’ll are accusing me of things i haven’t done based on the summary of this chapter that….doesn’t actually paint a full picture of what i actually said. but go off.

        • I believe I was fairly accurate in describing the lesson that chapter eight wishes to impart.

  7. Jealous is not quite the word I’d use. Did anyone read the articles last week about the woman who scammed hotels, banks, and acquaintances? I will admit to googling the places where she stayed in Morocco and thinking, “That looks lovely,” but do I want to harm people and wind up at Rikers? No.

    I feel the same about Judy. I wouldn’t want her life. One or two things in isolation might look appealing from afar but she’s such a toxic package. Do not want. She has had a lot of opportunities but her personality disorder fucks them all up every single time. I come here to have a good laugh with the catladies and that’s about it.

    • This is exactly how I feel. I wish I had supportive and loving and rich parents growing up! I wish I had a house on the edge of the lake! I don’t wish I had Peter for a dad. I don’t wish I lived in the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility. I don’t want Judy’s life.

      That house discussed in the previous recent posts… it’s kinda cool! I like the purple sunset picture! If someone offered me the keys and was like, “here trade your house for this one”? I’d decline. The house I live in is super tiny but it’s where I want it and I don’t think I’d trade for anything except a bigger better house exactly right where I am.

  8. Just curious: Have you read this chapter for yourself? I just can’t believe Franchesca would write something that makes so little sense (unless she’s projecting BIGLY). Or maybe she’s trying to spin her participation on this blog, not having anticipated that she’d ever be called to account for it. After all, Donk and Pettifogger did try to get people fired just for reading here. Is that what you were jealous of, Chesca?

    • Yes, I read the chapter, though I bailed about three pages before the end because I got the idea and I really don’t read books that employ a folksy, cutesy conversational tone to make obvious points. Sheesh!

      • What was she afraid would happen if her posts were left up on RBD? It’s amusing she’d think anyone would care. Is it maybe because she herself was targeted and bullied (according to her Wikipedia page)?

        • She didn’t say. I wondered if she was up for some gig and was worried that a potential employer would unearth the post, though I can’t imagine anyone would give a shit. Maybe Jack McCain’s lawyer was threatening her?

    • honestly, i didn’t paint the entire community as jealous and i’m annoyed it’s been described this way. i specifically talked about going to the meet up and being turned off that the convo revolved around JA and ONE person in particular was suddenly my BFF after viciously shit talking me here.

      what was i jealous of? that i was busting my ass to get a job in media and that others were handed jobs i didn’t think they deserved. i had to be honest with myself and admit i was wasting A LOT of time here and other places online instead of doing the work. outside of the long list of things JA has done that are fair to criticize, i had to admit that she was working and i wasn’t. she shot XYZ pilots trying to get a tv job and i was making cat puns here instead of going on auditions.

      i shouldn’t be surprised my words are being twisted though. this is the karma i rightfully earned.

      • I don’t believe I was twisting your words. The impression that I got from that chapter was that you came to believe “everybody” who frequented the site was jealous of Julia Allison. Your word. Yes, you may have been talking about the meetups, but I don’t remember the chapter making a distinction between those folks and the readership in general.

        Again, you wrote of a much different time in Julia Allison’s brilliant career and I could certainly imagine someone being jealous of the unearned opportunities coming her way. But it’s hard for me to imagine that anyone currently following the blog would be jealous of its subject being penniless, jobless, homeless, and incapable of sustaining an adult relationship.

  9. Chescaleigh’s take makes perfect sense, coming from someone who quit the snark site after she stopped being famous. If you were only watching the Julia show while she was a Z-list celebrity, then yes, maybe you were jealous. But as the years went on, there was less and less to envy. The woo lifestyle? The dirt festivals and self wedding? The dirty DJ boyfriends? The frantic AirBnBing of overpriced, character free NoCal digs? No thank you.

    Those of us who have lasted through all of this are here because we need to see how the story ends. It’s not about jealousy or envy anymore (if it ever was). It is, as Gilly said, our own reality TV. And, despite all odds, she keeps renewing it for a new season.

    • Yes, I remember early on there were some people here who had been fans of Donkey, but either got screwed over or otherwise disillusioned. But for many, it has been about helping deal with the JIML (the Julia In My Life) that more than a few of us have had. In my case, this site/cite/sight was helpful in actually identifying that the JIML is almost certainly a sociopath

  10. I have no doubt there are a few cat ladies who are jealous of our Donk. I think PartyPants is/was one of them. She was super bitter and wanted pretty-girl attention.

    But reading here, it’s easy to see that most of us are not like that. There is so much more going on here. We have dissected the phenomenon of Julia-like people in the digital age and it’s really interesting. Also we’re just completely appalled at her behavior and it’s fun to watch.

    “You’re just jealous” was a lazy comeback in 8th grade, and it’s a lazy observation now.

    They’ll publish anything these days.

      • She’s also trying to reinvent herself – moved to the UES, shaved ten years off her age, got herself some chompers, ‘tox, a chin job, and extensions. Her IG was full of gala events in too-tight rent-a-runway dresses but I think it went private.

        Same as it ever was.

      • I saw she gave up the booze for awhile. Seemed, at one point, to maybe agree that she might have the tiniest bit of a problem. Also, I thought she got a breast reduction?

        The site sucks. Pop ups you just can’t get away from, every time you click on any page. No commenting on the front page. You have to go to the forum to discuss. She seems to do the absolute bare minimum to collect her coins and, as always, is either nasty or defensive to people who disagree with her. She doesn’t even date her posts anymore so you have no idea when you go back and look when anything happened unless, again, you allow yourself to be forced in to the forums. And she still HATES Jordacted. Which is so odd to me. Jordan is so vanilla. There’s no there, there, you know?

        • Yes – forgot about the breast reduction.

          What I found craziest was her “ironically” redecorating her place in the exact same style as the bloggers she was criticizing so fiercely. Then she’d mock herself … but continue to do these little DIY projects that were sloppy and sad.


            Nietzsche was apparently right.

        • Last time I hung out over there was when stuff was going on w/ that blogger Neely & the photogra she tried to take down. Even then, that was the first time I’d been there in a long while. I refused to disable my ad blocker so it was pretty easy to stay away.

        • She is back on the sauce in a big way, Instagrams herself boozing at Dorrian’s Red Hand (douchiest of douche bars) and going to low-end galas. I would not want that life in my mid-40s, but you do you, Alice!

    • I think this summary of the chapter glosses over much of the nuance BUT I will say meeting some people in person changed my opinion of the behavior I was participating in on this site. Do I think everyone here is a “jealous hater” no. Did I get something out of commenting here? Yes. I got some work, some support when I needed it, some laughs and a few people who’re still my IRL friends.

      If you haven’t read the chapter I think it’s unfair to suggest I said everyone here was jealous because clearly the one meet-up I went to didn’t include everyone who commented here. My story focused on ONE person in particular that I met that night who was and has been particularly awful to me and meeting her in person made me regret a lot of my behavior because of how she behaved. I was never shy about calling out the comments I disagreed with here including fat shaming and transphobic comments, nor did I conceal my identity when I posted here. So yeah, I anticipated this post and tried to get ahead of it. Long story short, I wasted a lot of time on this site and looking back I find it embarrassing. If my honesty about my part in it has lost me fans here so be it. I stand behind it.

      • Well, I appreciate your calm resignation in replying , and I wish you success with your book, even though I didn’t know who you were before tonight. No offense, no snark.

        But acting as if this place is some hotbed of “fat-shaming and transphobia” is really not something I recognize here. You’re saying. I realize, that it was just some comments you objected to, rightly. But you’re also bringing it up years later, and yeah you ARE saying this is that sort of place, falsely imho. I’d ask for the receipts, but you’ll probably tell me you’re too busy.

        You actually ARE saying, “No offense, but I think you’re all hateful jealous losers and I regret wasting time with you, I stand by trashing this place in a published book.” Oh, and you met one obnoxious person at a meet-up who was awful, and here trying to tell us that you didn’t mean all the people here, but.. yeah you kind of are. Which is your impressions and thoughts, I respect that even though you refuse to admit you are throwing all the commenters here in one basket.

        I personally have found TBD here to be a group of tremendously smart, compassionate, articulate and well-written and wickedly funny people, which is the major point. Also compassionate and with different worlds of experience. Yes, I can see how you might find the idea of mocking Donks juvenile, and not for you anymore. Though she has the whole Internet joining in the mirth lately, maybe in your next book you can be suddenly sanctimonious about them too.

        I wish you well with your book, but to quote Mommie Dearest, “I’m not one of your FANS.”

      • I’m glad to hear you don’t think of us all as jealous, because honestly.. I’m not. Never been interested in being famous. I’d prefer my neighbors don’t even recognize me. 🙂

  11. It’s what Calcified said above. One has to be pretty insecure to be jealous of donk or any random middle class, Midwestern white girl, especially one so unoriginal and unlikeable. And I liked the SATC movies. I kind of missed the show during law school and my early practice years. The real draw, however, isn’t jealousy but rather the resolution in and satisfaction of watching someone so repugnant get their just deserts. It’s akin to watching Cersei Lannister or Ramsey Bolton get theirs or have their scheming backfire. No one’s jealous of either and not because their fictional. But because jealous is a pretty bizarre reaction to an antagonist.

    Life is full of bad folks doing awful things and being rewarded for it. But when awful people fail repeatedly and spectacularly, especially those with privilege who misuse it for selfish reasons to hurt others, it’s pretty darn satisfying. That’s what she doesn’t get and others like her don’t get. No, the more one knows about you, the more they *won’t” like you. Quite the opposite. And the more ill-fitting, overpriced clothing you wear, makes people like you less, not more. Watching awful people fail in awful ways of their own making is plotline 101. How a journalist and storyteller with a book deal has never gotten that is dumbfounding. Carrie Bradshaw was likeable. She set trends because women liked her, identified with her, even the stupid mistakes. They wanted her to have a happy ending, get the guy. That’s not what anyone here likely feels about donk. We have whole lives and family full of awful people doing awful things. It’s nearly 100% of the news. We don’t choose to engage here to get a face full of more of the same but to watch one of the few times in life that what goes around comes around, when awful is met with awful because of a apparent life long refusal to press the learn button.

    That’s why I own the movie Game Change and have watched it repeatedly. It’s a lovely diversion from the norm of life to watch horrible throw horrible into the world, it boomerang and hit horrible in its horrible head. It’s satisfying to watch smart people tell the story of what went so array in that train wreck. I love their insight. They’re already extraordinarily bright, but they press learn, reflect and become brighter for the experience. And it’s fascinating and satisfying to watch. Just like reading here.

    It’s why some of the minor characters here have gotten paases. They were actually likable in strange, funny ways. I’ve always loved pointy. I felt for her when donk tried to insert herself into that Arrington thing. What a mess. I think insecure, petty women are those who feel jealousy, kind of like donk jumped down MMBH’s throat for not writing some stupid resolutions for her while she was on vacay. The audacity to insert yourself into someone’s family vacation and demand they interrupt it for you is astounding in its own right. I felt for MMBH and having to deal with that bs at the time. Someone or several someones must’ve told donk repeatedly and unjustifiably that she’s better than others by just being who she is that *she* becomes jealously enraged when others get what she wants and/or don’t bend to her will.

    It’s also why other shady folks catch the eye of commenters here. Water finds its lowest level, and donk has done a pretty bang up job finding others as awful as she can be. Those who aren’t are labeled boring pretty quickly and don’t receive much further mention. The thing is no one was jealous of bratty Nelly Olson in Little House. It was just satisfying to see a brat get what they had coming to them. How women who write books for a living don’t get that dumbfounds me.

    • Speaking of “what goes around comes around“, I am very curious to know what the writerly types here think of the Amy Mek(elburg) / Luke O’Brien situation unfolding in the Twitterverse.



      I’m reminded of Pettifogger (& Pancake’s lolyer!) going after RBD readers.

      • I’m very uncomfortable with the doxxing of private citizens who are doing nothing more than spewing assholery from their keyboards.

        And I’m appalled that people have been harassing her brother and his wife for having a restaurant with their last name as the name of the business. Even if they knew that she’s a nasty racist loon, what could they do about it?

        • Yeah, if that really is happening to them &/or her dad, I sure hate to hear it — they don’t deserve to be penalized for her actions. Also, I’m inclined to think that it was her actions that got her husband fired, not those of the author of the article.

          He could’ve taken more care with privacy, & he does have a bone to pick, but otherwise this reads like an expose not unlike a couple that were linked here just in the last few days.

          I’m basically on the fence as to whose actions were worse.

          • You’d be surprised (or maybe not) at how many on Twitter are saying that the brother and his should’ve known that she’s a toxic loon and should’ve “done something.” As if family members can do anything about an asshole relative other than maybe keep some distance. It’s not like they can ground her or take away her computer

        • I think people who are doxing others (she was keeping a “registry” of Muslims, just private citizens whose names and addresses bigots would send her, that she was sharing with alt-right lunatics) should expect the same, but not by a professional journalist.

      • Me, three. One article said he just revealed her name. No, not so much. He found out everything about her and put it in his article. The whole thing seems pretty reckless. Greg hope I never have to answer for my stupid family since there is no divorce them option.

        • You should see his Twitter feed, one thread in particular — he’s asking people to send him copies of Twitter emails they received, and promising to keep info confidential — all of his detractors are going for bear over that last part.

          Just think — he’ll be advising world leaders in no time!

  12. What a feckless cunt. One thing Ramsey and Allison have in common is they miss the actual point and don’t understand life. (Guess that’s two things).

    I entered the site during the Miss Advise phase and can’t speak to the site’s activity before; however, since that time, I too have met several people from the site. IRL, over the phone and over email. I can’t being to tell you how impressed and intimidated I was when these amazing women revealed their real identities.

    I’ve often written here and on my own website, that I couldn’t have gotten through the toughest time in my life without this site. What started out as a Case Study for me about being able to identify unethical behavior that escalates to illegal behavior in real-world application, revealed to me a community of like-minded people. Not on all topics, but specifically the topic of pathologically unethical behavior where the person without shame, remorse, guilt or accountability, expected forgiveness without earning it. I’ve often written that abusive people call others *haters* when in fact they are just engaged in Forced Accountability. Abusive people do not want to be held accountable. Ever. It’s why people on Twitter can’t understand how this site still exists and I can’t understand how people are failing to see that pathologically abusive behavior doesn’t change until it’s met with forced accountability: public exposure of negative truthful information + legal intervention (when possible) = positive change.

    My own experiences of working for a Menlo Park based vc-funded startup that was committing fraud (originally I thought Julia and I had similar paths-she was quickly exposed as a fraud to the tech industry in my eyes); and, working with DOJ/FBI as a federal whistleblower while bouncing ideas and theories off the RBD community helped shape The Sociopathic Business Model™. TSBM, and I do not say this arrogantly but factually, according to DOJ/FBI helped catch startups committing fraud before IPO or acquisition (Uber & Theranos), and helped countless victims of workplace and corporate abuse. I will always maintain that this site isn’t about hate, it’s about forced accountability.

    Franchesca “Chescaleigh” Ramsey’s experience with RBD is one of shame, guilt and jealousy. She sounds much like another Professional Victim we’re all familiar with, Julia Allison.

    Shorter: will not read or support Franchesca Ramsey

    • I’m not sure how you can say I don’t understand life when you…don’t know me. And you’re basing this assumption off a poor summary of one chapter of an entire book? That’s fine if you don’t support me or my work. I don’t think Julia or anyone for that matter is above criticism. But I don’t think using fat as an insult or calling a woman a “tranny” is above board which…are the types of things I regularly saw go on here. Considering one of the former admins of this site has now made herself over into a DIY instagrammer says otherwise about jealousy, but by all means base your opinion of me and my character on a chapter in a book you haven’t read.

      • “You don’t even know me,” is what abusive people say when they want to get away their abusive behavior without shame, remorse, guilt or accountability. You don’t understand life if you think that ANYONE, least of all me-since you’ve addressed me, is jealous of Julia Allison. I also don’t need to *know* you to understand that you contacted the mods to have content removed. I’m not a fan of revisionist history-or manipulation of the facts. Facts aren’t opinions-and *by all means* I will base my comments off of those facts.
        Your continued desire to manipulate facts (I clearly stated I did not enter the site until Miss Advised) or see anyone calling you fat or a tranny, confirm my originals take that you’re a Professional Victim. I believe when you say you were called fat and a tranny in the past and I’m sorry you had to endure such comments, that said, I have only commented on your actions not your appearance. But by all means conflate the issues as a way to deflect from your own projection and the facts: you contacted the mods to remove content and your blanketed statement that people are jealous of Julia vs trying to force accountability, is deeply flawed. Especially as it relates to me personally and many that I’ve met on this site over the years.

        • I’m so confused by this response. I haven’t abused anyone, so I’m not sure why you’d bring that up? You don’t know me. Which is fine. I also don’t know you, which is why I can’t speak to what you do or don’t know about life. That doesn’t suggest I’m an abuser.

          you’ve misunderstood me. I’m not saying I was called fat or tranny. I’m saying I didn’t agree with those kinds of comments about JA, which…is what I talked about in the book. If you weren’t here in 2009 then i’m not talking about you.

          My comments are still on the site, I’ve always used my name here, so asking to have a post removed (which…the mods agreed to) isn’t revisionist history. Especially since it was easy enough to figure out what site I was talking about. what in the actual fuck?

          I also didn’t call everyone here jealous. I talked about meeting a group from the site in person and felt uncomfortable with how people behaved including ONE specific person. if you weren’t at that meet-up and you aren’t that person then the chapter in my book about things i said and did when I moved to NY in 2009….aren’t about you.

          • Well, Franchesca,

            a few points, not as a defence of this place, because the catladies and -dudes can stand up for themselves. I’ve been in and out of the basement since late 2008. And disclaimer: my name here refers rather to the shape things in in J’s life tend to take, rather than her body shape. The skank part, true, not very nice, but neither is our heroine, as I take it.

            Which brings me to body snarking. Yes, there’s been a fair bit of that here over the years, however, almost accompanied by a spirited and controversial discussion. Not everyone, including me, liked the body snark, but it a) never dominated the conversations here and b) I know of several commenters here who were calling her fat, for example, not because they genuinely considered her so, but rather because they knew that would especially irk her, as it used to be one of the harsher “insults” she herself threw at women she considered her inferior in terms of looks, status and figure. You may legitimately question the pedagogical and/or social merits of this, all I’m saying is that things are, in my opinion, a lot more complex than the jealous hater trope could ever encapsulate. And I should maybe mention that, of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion about this place, even to OMGchange their view over time. So not trying to lecture you, just sharing my understanding of certain phenomena here.

            Now. Partypants. Do you remember the great flounce of, when was it, 2010/11? Anyway. I always felt she was someone who had been courting attention, ideally money too, online long before she showed up here and RBNS became a vehicle for her for a while. Then GOMI and then, well, she couldn’t help herself after Julia’s notorious chat appearance and a moderation by PP many here found rather fawning and said so. That’s how it came about, I believe, but there have been previous irritations. Long story short, I believe her motivation in joining the team was starkly different from that of the other admins for whom I have a lot of respect and admiration.

            To conclude my essay, let me state that I like a lot of your work , at least the bits I know of, and hope your life and career work out according to your wishes.

          • I may have used the word “tranny” like once, twice at the most in this site.

            I also had transgender guests at my wedding, so what does it mean?

            I hate (see! I am a hater!) that kind of boilerplate disqualification.

            It shows lack of nuance, even laziness (word x has been used by y, then y is a despicable person).

            A word can mean many different things, depending on who uses it (i.e. a gay ‘slur’ coming out of Margaret Cho it is not the same as a gay slur coming out Laura Ingraham) and when.

        • Just an FYI: Francesca wasn’t called a tranny — she’s referring me & whomever else when Julia was likened to a man under her increasingly garish make-up.

          Speaking only for myself, I never meant it in a derogatory way towards trannys, or men, just towards Donk, but it opened my eyes to possibly & probably coming across badly.

          No harm, no foul, far as I could care.

        • Your comments are still on the site because the mods put them back up along with anything else you requested for removal, was my understanding.
          There are varying degrees in all behavior, including abusiveness. You asked them to remove things that may have been viewed negatively (revisionist history) in order to fit your new *narrative* then turned around and bit them. People usually don’t take kindly to that behavior-a point proven by their reversal of your original request.

          • I’m glad they reversed that request. She’s trashing and mischaracterizing this place, in a book and still here in the comments AND she wants our delightful mods to do reputation clean-up for her too? Naw.

            I liked and appreciated what you wrote above; I also have found this place and people to be supportive and compassionate, as well as smart and funny as hell. I think she’s mischaracterizing it and us badly, while denying she’s doing so.

            And I’d wager that a lot of us actually WERE around to comment on Julia’s spectacle-making since 2009, yeah. She seems to be implying we’re all newbies and back then it was some 4chan wild-west of fat-shaming and transphobia. No it wasn’t at all. Revisionist history indeed. At our expense. No.

  13. OT: America’s sharpest conservative minds are worried about Donkey!

    John Podhoretz
    I’m serious when I say Julia Allison has done nothing but hurt herself time and time again by writing about herself. She needs to stop doing that. It’s self-sadism in the form of masochism.
    11:12 AM – 4 Jun 2018

    • Lol. “Self- sadism in the form of masochism” is called masochism. What a laughable putz. I’ll bet he was turned on by Donks’ braying cocktail-waitress charm and cleavage at a party ten years ago and never forgot her. Maybe she sat in his lap.

  14. I just thought she was fat. I met Chesca. She was cool. People’s perspective of this blog can change over time. I know mine has.

    • Very true, and as Not! Random! and Princess WideStance note above, readers/commenters back in the gawker days may have indeed been jealous of the unearned opportunities that came Donkey’s way. However, we’re in the woo gutter these days, subsisting on aya and plant medicine while begging to live with suckers. Ain’t nobody jealous of Donk in 2018.

      • I’ve been here since 2010, and I don’t recall a single time when it crossed my mind that anyone was or even could be jealous of her. Maybe it made some sort of sense earlier, I don’t know. I highly doubt it has ever been the sole defining characteristic of the RBD commentariat.

        It feels really disappointing to me if chesca (whom I always liked) went down the idiotic “they’re just jellissss! NKOTB 4-EVA!” (tm RRR) route. Is it possible that she meant it as a parody? heh-heh….

    • I have no problem with someone’s perspective changing. I do have a problem with someone telling us what all of our perspective’s were, are and/or should be.

      • This kinda reminds of people who smoke for years and years, but the day after they decide to stop smoking start screaming that everyone else needs stop smoking too!

        • I will absolutely give you that I didn’t read the book. And I will absolutely agree that I probably should before commenting about what might be in it. Gilly seems to be pretty on the ball and, if she felt it was disrespectful to RBD in general, (and not just the one person you met), I would tend to think that it is. But, maybe I would think differently if I read it and, so, for that I apologize.

          But your line in another comment you left here just today on the issue sticks in my craw. That you were SO embarrassed to have been a participant here. Don’t you get how that might be condescending and disrespectful to the rest of us? And that we might justifiably react to that shade?

          I’ve said this before on here, after some dramatic flounces in the earlier days. If you don’t like it here, leave. You don’t have to slam the community on the way out.

          There are other commenters who, like you, have absolutely made their displeasure known when comments about looks or about tranny’s reared their ugly heads. You weren’t exactly a lone wolf in that regard.

          That all said, and I know we shouldn’t talk about looks but, you look fantastic on your book jacket, both front and back! Congratulations on being published (meant sincerely, no snark).

  15. I remember being irked at the opportunities being handed to her for seemingly no reason, but to be jealous? Please, if I wanted to seethe with jealousy at someone’s fabulous life, I’d look at the likes of Nell Diamond or Hannah Bronfman, who at least on the surface appear to be beautiful and live fabulous lives. Donk, even in her prime, in her Hell’s Kitchen boner-slaying shoebox, and her polyester frockes grifted from cut-rate shoppes? Not so much.
    I’d like to be invited to Fashion Week, sure, but I’d rather die than attend while wearing one of her FW looks.

  16. I’m more irked by how easily she has blown off so many excellent opportunities that landed right in her lap and were hers to fuck up. And she did fuck them up, over and over. She could have been everything she wanted to be, fame-wise and career-wise if she’d just wasn’t such an asshole to other people, had a modicum of self-awareness, and studied what it took to be a marketable member of the media. I am not jealous of that, it was never my kind of goal, but it is clear that her privilege and connections opened doors for her that others who worked 50 times harder would likely never be offered. She could have parlayed any of these jobs into a really good career. But the hell with that, because all she wanted to do was bag some rich guy Andy ave pictures of them in the society columns swanning around the world.


  17. Nope. I’m a dude. Certainly never been “jealous” of her, never been hot for her, never wanted to deal with her, although I had some close run-in’s with her and her crowd longgggg ago in my past life. She was always a joke, but she was once at least able to hide behind a thin veil of youthful sass that appealed to former nerds who didn’t know any better at the time.
    I found her weird rise to Z-list fame and random opportunities courtesy of Gawker oddly fascinating. Still do, although her story’s grown about as sad and boring as “Bold & the Beautiful.”
    Jealousy ain’t remotely my reason for still reading/posting here, but nice try, Chessy. Sorry you met some kooks along the way and glad to see you’re now doing professionally better than Donk.

  18. I’ll bite. I found Julia when non-society first got started, whenever that was. I can admit that I did envy what seemed to be the amazing life she was living. I have no idea how I found my way here, but once I did, it was like seeing the man behind the curtain for the first time.

    For me, this sight/cite/site has been a lesson in critical analysis, and a cautionary tale against taking things at face value. I do not envy what her life has become. At this point, I stay for the same reason I still watch Grey’s Anatomy: I’ve watched for this long, so I need to see how things end.

  19. As someone who has been here a long time, in the Gawker era there were a lot of Julia haters who were pretty clearly either jealous of her success or envious that she kept getting one opportunity after another handed to her. New York media is a hard business and I think it’s perfectly reasonable for other young women trying to make it in media to have been jealous of someone with no discernible unique talent who managed to charge $4/word (was this even true?) while they were struggling to pay the rent on their slummy rooms in Bushwick.

    That said, I think most of those people ultimately went away, or were eclipsed by the people who showed up here because either 1) their primary interest was one of morbid curiosity, perhaps because Julia reminded them of someone in their lives who was equally manipulative and sociopathic, or 2) Julia fucked them over or treated them horribly somehow and they stuck around to see if she’d get her comeuppance. I definitely became more active here when a friend of mine was the planner of a Birthcray party back in the day and Julia was pretty much unspeakably awful to her.

    By the way, how fucking bizarre is it that so many things happened at once: Chescaleigh’s book comes out with a whole chapter about Donk, the Post op-ed disaster is published, and NY celebutante grifters are suddenly back on Media Twitter’s radar with the release of the Anna Delvey story?

    (Speaking of that, a bunch of people have figured out who Anna Delvey’s tech entrepreneur “futurist” boyfriend was. I don’t want to post his name here, but Metafilter can point you in the right direction. He has a grifty reputation and also most certainly traveled in the Summit-Burner circles that Donk has tried to infiltrate time and again, only to just wind up with weird wannabe hippies. This shit all comes full circle.)

    • And now one of those djs with rich mom decision owns a bushwick slummer, so there

    • Nobody paid $4 a word except the National Geographic and AARP Magazine. This is one of the things that made me so fucking furious, her lazy lying ignorance.

    • She’s possibly even worse than Jaba. No, she IS worse because she killed two dogs (because her republican husband didn’t like them) and Jaba only semi-killed one via neglect. Plus, how does anyone marry a Trump voter?

      • Wait, what did she do to her dogs?

        I had to look her up. I had forgotten about the tampon story. No lunch for me now.

        • Gave one dog to a shelter where she knew it would be killed, because her asshole unfunny “comedian” (crony of scumbag Anthony Cumia) didn’t like it. The other dog I forget.

          She also made a fucking hullabaloo about how she “stood against rape,” but when a lady accused her no-talent husband’s mealticket Cumia of rape and abuse, she took to social media to shit-talk said lady, even though the two of them had never met.

          Stadtmiller is even viler than A Donkey.

          • Things that could get me to give my pet to a shelter: someone holding a gun to my pet’s head and threatening to pull the trigger if I didn’t. Maybe.

          • When I tried to look her +dog up, it was just stories where she gloated about how wonderful she was for adopting a rescue animal.

            What a bitch.

    • I never could stand her egocentric writing, and her Sophie’s Choice dog drama put me off her forever. I also associate her with the Tampon Disaster, but maybe that was some other XO Jane loser.

    • “Julia Allison: LOL, welcome to the NY Post”
      ::eye roll::

  20. She’s never had an amazing life. I’ve been with this shitshow since the beginning. As someone living in NYC for 20 years who was a decade older than Julia, her desperation and unhappiness was always palatable. I also worked with a former Georgetown friend of hers who she threw under the bus in some radio interview back at her “height.”

    My favorite moment was going to the same TriBeCa restaurant as her after that totally hilarious live stream where commenters kept saying things like “hammer fight!” To Mary and Jabba. Who was that funny, funny commenter who suggested Mary’s hair extensions could be used as streamers on Julia’s bike or something? Gold.

    • Even at its best, her life was nothing special. It is hard to understand how she fell so far given (at least a bit of) family resources, parental educational attainment, get own (unearned) educational opportunities, and decent timing (widespread adoption of the internet and beginning period of social media).

      • Is it really that hard? Laziness and a lack of follow through seem to be the answer.

  21. This chapter/book makes no sense in the context of how the Julia story turned out. I can’t understand being able to write about a Julia type character without doing something more work the story — is there a twist? Is there any follow up on what happens to the Julia character when she runs out of rope?

    • Afghani, it’s a very calculated advertisement for Ramsey’s brand, written in a folksy style and full of life lessons that anyone with at least a double-digit I.Q. could figure out on their own. It’s very “raw” and is filled with “wit and transparency.” according to the back cover blurbs. Yeah. It ain’t GONE GIRL or THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN or …

    • To me, the biggest ouch comes in the very first paragraph:

      “Then she seemed to disappear, without anyone taking much notice.”

      The level of notice someone takes to your disappearance is typically directly related to how important you were in their lives to begin with. Julia left NYC. The media world didn’t even notice.

    • I was hoping to wait on this because we have related intel coming in, but I’m tickled you bunnies are having such a good time. I just wish this greg darn site would stop crashing!

      • Sorry, Aunt Gilly. I actually only stumbled upon the Slate article because RBD crashed and was down, leading to a google search. I needed a fix! We are all so grateful for how on top of it you are. 🙂

    • This is a strange article. I wonder how the writer missed the Eat Pray Love connection, and realized the glaring fact that no, she’s not going to be just fine, she’s on repeat.

      • I felt the writer was more interested in pleasing her editor than being substantive, not that they’re mutually exclusive.

      • Not necessarily. I am thinking (hoping) that “fine” here is a subtle diss; she is just saying the cockroach Julia Allison will maintain her mediocre (“reasonable”) level of existence across the universe in perpetuity and never burst forth as the supernova star she always expected to be (not that she ever did, or could, put in one iota of actual effort or creativity to achieve such a result.)

    • The article won’t open for me, even if I click on “yes, feel free to use all the information you can get about me any way you wish” button, so I for one would still be grateful for a new post with some snippets.

        • Whoops, sorry, My mistake…no covfefe yet this morning. I thought you meant the Post article.

          • Heh, no, bunny, I meant the Slate article. ’tis OK though, I think I get the idea.

      • Latest EU data protection regulation caused several US websites to play it save and prevent European access altogether. I could access it while using VPN. Same with the LA Times, for example.

    • “(Also, why would a writer agree to an as-told-to piece, rather than writing it herself?)”

      Heh. Why indeed?

  22. I don’t know Francesca, but I am going to give her something of a pass on this.

    She is a WoC on social media/youtube, Her star took off years after Julia’s turned into a white dwarf, and Francesca gets an unimaginable amount of shit lobbed at her. I heard her on a podcast recently (Pod Save Something) and she briefly alluded to the legion of anti-Francesa channels on YouTube. I have never seen her content or that of her critics, but I suspect that her haters focus on her race and interracial marriage. I also suspect that most of her haters truly believe her undeserving of any success based solely on those two criteria.

    I can imagine that, after achieving her success and being the target of haters, she probably feels shame for ever having done the same to anyone else, regardless of whether they were deserving of criticism. I also imagine it would feel hypocritical to bitch about being the target of haters when, in the past, you had lobbied some snark yourself.

    Frannie (may I call you Frannie?), this isn’t that, but I get why you wanted to distance yourself from your sordid RBD past. However, I would hazard that most of the folks who still peripherally follow the JA show do it mostly to see an asshole get the comeuppance she so richly deserves. It is not unlike wanting to see Trump impeached, Roseanne canceled, or Tammy Lehren develop terminal hemorrhoids.

    No one is or has ever been jealous of Julia Allison, and that, in a nutshell, is what makes (and made) Julia Allison so fucking loony tunes.

    • I agree with your diagnosis, Dr. Freud, and Ramsey does begin the chapter on Judy & RBD talking about her legions of internet haters, which must really be awful to have to deal with on a routine basis.

    • I honestly don’t give a shit about Julia and haven’t in ages. Most of us stuck around so long not because of her but because of each other. Come for the snark stay for the other snark.

      I don’t check in because I expect anything out of her. She’s a washed-up never-was. I check in because I met a lot of cool people on this site who are funny and have great taste.

      I met a lot of you guys in real life, including chesca. She was one of the few of us who always posted with her real name. I’d like to add that to why I totally cosign what you wrote above. Thanks for being able to articulate it.

      • Also, the podcast might have been Lovett or Leave It, which she was on last week.

        I lol’ed listening because she spends a few minutes ranting about people who don’t pay their interns or make them run errands. She emphasized how your intern is supposed to learn from you. Of course it made me think of the old days with Julia’s many interns whose job was to get her cupcakes or return designer headbands.

    • thanks for this nuance. you’re right. I also hate being called Frannie but I’ll give you a pass. I don’t think anyone is above criticism, but I don’t think all criticism is fairly given. I regret compromising my morals at times to get a laugh at someone else’s expense, even if they deserved to be called out. the comments here…are exactly what I expected them to be but it doesn’t make it sting any less. i wish folks would actually read what i read or take .2 seconds to see any of my work to understand how and why i told this story.

  23. For some reason I thought Chescaleigh had a baby with someone really odd like Paul Carr and disappeared into the sunset. Obviously not.

    Shame to bite the hand and all that.

    • I think you are thinking of that Alanna Joy character, who did a pretty funny video parody of a Donkey at one point but had her own issues — though I think did eventually get it together. Sometimes having a family to be responsible for will do that, I guess. Too late for long-expired Donkey, though. SAD!

  24. I followed this blog bc JAB was a unique mix of crazy, evil and stupid and found it interesting.

    • Actually a perfect description. Crazy, evil and stupid. Sounds like Trump as well. TONS of personality similarities between Trump and Donk if you think about it.

  25. I’m not a jealous person so it always amuses me being lumped in as a “jealous hater” with all you other “jealous haters”.

    But it amuses me more that the single biggest jealous hater in the life of Julia Allison is actually … Julia Allison. She hasn’t wished a single person, friend or foe, well, in her whole life.

    Which is why she always has to recreate herself. She always has to find a new gang who don’t know her well to try her schtick out on. Until the new gang gets to realise what she’s like and she has to move on. Again.

    It must seriously be an exhausting existence.

    • The best Julie can muster is that her underlings will do just a bit less than her. She never wishes that anyone else knocks one out of the park. So sad.

      • She’s seriously a facsinating pastime. SHE NEVER LEARNS. That’s what keeps me coming back.

    • You can take Julia Allison out of Wilmette but you can’t take Julia Allison out of Julia Allison.

  26. If she met partypants, I give her a pass. I’ve heard partypants is next level terrifying.

  27. Franchesca “Chescaleigh” Ramsey’?

    Didn’t she kill Jon Benet?

    I have never been jealous of anyone, because I do not own them. I am not envious of anyone either because to get the things they have would require me being them and I wouldn’t be somebody else on a fucking dare.


    (And yes, I hate meme acronyms but my fingers are busy.)

  28. The summary of this chapter is so shitty and unfair Gilly. But fine. I didn’t call everyone jealous. I specifically talked about a meet up in Brooklyn in which 7 of us hung out and spent OVER AN HOUR talking about JA which I found really embarrassing. I then described how a former mod who trashed me here suddenly wanted to be my friend at the meet-up. I had a lot of good times here. I also wasted a lot of time. I also observed a lot of behavior that made me uncomfortable. I don’t think anyone is above criticism including myself, but reducing ONE chapter of an entire book down to “everyone here was jealous” is patently false. I’ve met people from the site who’re my friends to this day. Who’ve hired me for jobs, who’ve given me great advice and made me laugh and think. If you’re not one of the 7 people who showed up to that dive bar in Brooklyn back in 2010 or so then….I wasn’t talking about you. Jesus.

    • OK. Whatever. That was my takeaway. It definitely felt like we were all being tossed into the same basket. But I’m not going to retrieve the book from the library so I can read the chapter again. I have a career to work on! winky emoticon

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