Birdie Chirps: Donk Still In Boulder, Freeloading Off Her Non-Lesbian Lover & Boyfriend

An impeccable source tells us that broke and busted Judy Albertson, the eight-minute expat who now claims to live in San Francisco, is still freeloading at the Boulder digs of Myka McLaughlin and Rob Schuham. Our burro won’t leave because NO ONE in San Francisco will agree to let her crash at their place. Rob must be thrilled to be housing the phony bisexual who reduced him to a coda in her FB post proclaiming endless love to his girlfriend. Myka, of course, then had to call Donk out on her lie – “I’ve only ever kissed a girl.”

Our tipster and Rhoda both believe Judy is hoping to turn Boulder into a threeway. She is quite captivated with poly stripper/nutcase Roaxanne DePalma and her husband, neuro pusher Daniel Schmachtenberger, and their girlfriend. As Donk has never had an original idea in her her head, Rhoda & T figure she’s hoping to graft the poly threesome model onto Boulder and live off Rob.

Wait! What’s this?

Bottom Bottom Picture! Roxanne DePalma in an uncharacteristically reserved pose at Jess Johnson’s Garden of Eden:


  1. Also, if every chick I ever kissed showed up to crash with me, Mr. Quirky would be extremely angry. And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

  2. Do these people know her M.O. at this point?
    Mrs. McC could start a side business on how to evict the donkey.

      • The woos aren’t intellectuals, critical thinkers. T told me they tend to talk about how wonderful they are and how wonderful their friends are. That’s it. However, some of the woos are onto Judy’s bullshit, though the folks on the fringes of woo culture are more willing to be openly critical of her.

        • These are the people who think everyone *deserves* a second chance without earning one through accountability. It’s like Julia’s parents all over again.

          • Not sure where to fit Julie into the generational spectrum. She’s definitely not a Gen-X (yay).. but then, she’s a tad too old for “Millennial” too.

            They didn’t give us (Gen X) any trophies for “showing up,” and even offered a slap down if you missed the mark, heh… (bastards, heh)

            But she does seem to have appropriated the sense of entitlement I’ve noticed in most of the millennials I’ve needed to have contact with.

            She is a conundrum.. ?

          • I try not to be too harsh on millennials. So many of their issues stem from the fact that they graduated and came into the job market at a time when the market was dramatically contracting and had little to offer them. Then, when the job market started growing again, employers didn’t want candidates who had been tainted by years of under or unemployment. Millennials got left behind. In that sense, Donk has a fair amount in common with millennials. (That said, the difference is that Donk is entirely at fault in being left behind by the job market.)

  3. Rob and Myka make a cute couple. Hopefully they won’t come home to find Julia’s head glue stick’d into all the photos on their wall.

    Also, I thought you were making a joke about the Daniel dude’s last name. Wow, that is one long last name! 16 letters and only 1/4 vowels.

  4. Judy, call Alton Busey. I’m sure he has room. Or, McTeague.

    • I can’t remember his real name, but he and Judy have made bisexuality downright unfashionable. weepy emoticon

          • Judy’s employer, the ineffable manboy Ryan Allis, indeed took the Smellsberg pledge.

        • Oh good maybe Reid Mihalko will start gofundme for a documentary. Weinstein was said to have been developing a documentary to tell his side before his very timely arrest. Why is it that all sociopaths feel the need to tell “their side of the story?” Oh yeah, they have to control a “narrative.” Guilty people have narratives, the rest of us have THE truth.

          • I love how textbook narcissistic it is to blame victims of narcissists for their own victimhood.

            There’s a woman who regularly makes the rounds in the same communities I do telling everyone who objects to her (many, endless) verbal faux pas that people project their own meaning onto anything they hear someone else say, so if anyone has a problem with anything she’s said, they should examine their own issues.

            It’s incredible to watch, and it was even more incredible to receive her application for a communcation-heavy job I was in charge of hiring for. Couldn’t bin it fast enough.

          • Not everybody is buying Ali Shanti’s bullshit:

            Brian D. Ridgway
            Some see it as a label.

            Some believe that there ARE narcissists and are, obviously, very convinced.

            Still, Ali, I am Infinite and Infinitely with you. And maybe, just maybe, I am even more than with you on this.

            There are no victims. Ever. Of anything or anyone.

            Amy Segreti
            There are no victims ever, of anything or anyone? Your white man is showing.

            Brian D. Ridgway
            Amy, that is a beautifully perfect racist comment. Even more amazing, you make that brutally racist comment as an allusion to me being racist. That is mental gymnastic ART.

            Thank you.

            What I am speaking of goes infinitely deeper than race. There is neither racism nor race-related thought involved or implied in my statement. Only people living with racist thought would infer that from my comment.

            I have close friends of all colors and ages who have all chosen to evolve to the same understanding – far above the socially-deluded ideas arising from racist thought.

            I respect and honor your beliefs – and if you ever become curious about how one could ever say and see beyond victimhood, we can discuss it.

            Amy Segreti
            I think knowing the signs of this very real personality disorder (not just the label, akin to calling someone a jerk) is extremely important, and extremely overlooked. I also think this is where the “own your reality” world can come into conflict with the trauma world. Telling a victim they must be creating something to heal something inside themselves while they’re struggling to leave their abusive partner is, at least, incredibly unsupportive in a time of great vulnerability and, at most, abusive as well. I’ve seen “conscious” people use this to move into victim-blaming too often. I recommend Shahida Arabi’s book on narcissists (more than perhaps the errant article written on HuffPost).

          • At least someone is calling it out for what it is. Somehow these people who deflect any criticism of themselves and their appalling behavior with the projection theory are also the most prone to fly off the handle the second they are ‘victimized’, ie the “brutally racist” attack of being called white when you are white. It speaks to their charmed position in life that they can claim that no one is a victim of anything unless they choose to be with a straight face.

  5. This has to be the end, right? She has stuff in some foreclosed house in Novato and no where to go. Ridiculous human being.

    • Grifty’s comments in the previous post are worth reposting here:

      I wonder if she’s just biding time using Justin until the lease runs out, and gradually getting her stuff out? Looks from the pics like most of the personal things have been moved to tubs in the garage. Financially, she probably can’t do much but couch surf until the lease runs out, even with Dadsers’ help. I don’t think this short term rental scheme will continue to work for her in the future.

      Grifting from place to place, moving in with uncommitted boyfriends hoping to turn them into husbands by default (because possession is 9/10 of the law), and living way beyond your means, is no way to go through life unless you want to end up pushing a shopping cart full of your belongings and living under an overpass.

  6. Looks like poor (both literally and figuratively) Judy will hook up with just about anyone to avoid actually getting a job and working. ?

      • At some point Britt & Allie will be forced to take in Donkey after she’s burned through her inheritance (see Princess WideStance below). “So glad you stopped by for a visit, fellow MIT alum. That noise? Pay no attention. It’s just the occasional braying of the madwoman in the attic”

        • After the parents pass I doubt he’ll pretend like he knows her. He barely does now.

          • Agreed. It’s very telling that Donkey never mentions them or her nephew(s?) anymore. Every year it seems she becomes more and more estranged from them.

        • I actually went through a legal process to avoid ever becoming legally responsible for my estranged immediate family. If Illinois has something similar BB should RUN to his estate planner ASAP.

          (I’d never let my parents end up on the street, but neither do I want to inherit their bad decisions.)

  7. Someday she won’t have Dadser to fall back on. She’ll burn through her inheritance in a couple years, and then what? She’s proven herself totally incapable of taking care of herself. Petey should be worried for his little burro.

    • Maybe that’s why he recently opened a solo mediation practice, after being politely pushed out of the law firm after the merger? Many at his age would retire and enjoy their families, but he opened a business

  8. I saw the video of Peter B at donkey’s love den the other day for the first time. I don’t know if anyone else has this reaction, but is it possible that Peter is ok with donkey’s poly and bisexual phase because he has some secrets of his own? And Julia may know or suspect? I mean, for example, the whole Raoul thing, for example. Mark Kirk was in the closet and was a very close friend of Peter (close enough that Kirk made up a completely BS campaign advisory role for Peter, something like US-German issues, bc that’s a huge hot button issue in IL politics). Julia “interned” for Kirk and also knew Kirk’s ex wife (beard?). Peter doesn’t seem to have normal parental instincts (VS delivery to dorm room, who could forget that) and with family stuff just seems to be doing his duty but not into it at all. Seems like the type who would give his wife a toaster oven for an anniversary present, to be honest.

    Of course, maybe he really is just weird. I still had the thought that it would explain a lot if Julia had knowledge of a secret and that’s why he’s enabled get so much.

    • I have always gotten the vibe that he is kind of Aspergers-y. He reminds me of my uncle, who was brilliant but on the spectrum for sure.

      • Me too. Re: Petey’s sexuality, a couple of RBDers have seen him and Robin in the wild and reported back to the blog that the two seemed very much in love.

      • Agree.

        Also…it really seems like a stretch to speculate that Mark Kirk is gay. So he married sort of late (early 40s) and it didn’t work out. Not any reason to make assumptions about his sexuality.

        • It is certainly a widespread rumor in Illinois that Kirk’s marriage was a marriage of convenience (his ex was a campaign staffer) for whatever reason.

  9. OT: DJ Deadbeat Dad appears to be as responsible as his insurance scammer wife. An “F” for planning ahead. No wonder those kids didn’t receive Christmas presents.


    Satya Hinduja
    You’re back to America so quick???

    Sacha Nielsen
    yes my dear, going to make a massive sound attunment with all the best sound healers of NY at elements fest. You should be here!

    • The next request to freeload received one like and no comments:


    • Sound healers? FFS. Banging on a pot is not medicinal. Neither is shoving a rock up your whoha empowerment. Reality doesn’t shift and change shape because you English wrong. You’re not changing the world, least of all healing the world, with your gift. You’re just earning a living and not very well. Let others make the decisions regarding your impact on the world. That’s how it works, “my dear.”

      • “Reality doesn’t shift and change shape because you English wrong,” is my new favorite phrase. It applies to the woos, 90% of my twitter feed and recent depositions.
        The only skill-set woos have is manipulation without accountability.

  10. Imagine that you’re pushing forty and you are still unable to support yourself; have no permanent/reliable place to live; have failed to sustain any meaningful employment or establish a career; and are STILL crashing on sofas/freeloading because you have no other options. Imagine having no particular interests or hobbies or responsibilities.

    Sure, it happens… people fail to grow up and find their place in the world. But Donk thinks she’s superior to such people. She tries to spin herself as a “bohemian” or “digital nomad” but she does no work and creates no art. She thinks that loafing about in Bali or at dirt festivals is somehow benefitting other people; she thinks she’s changing the world by doing yoga for her own pleasure. The delusion is mind-baughling.

    • All because of a life long refusal to be measured. She’d rather opt out or change paradigms or wiggle and screech “It burns” like a modern day Smeagol before she’ll allow anyone to measure her, her contribution, experience, knowledge or effort. It’s life Judy. Keep opting out rather than measuring up, and *this* is where it gets you. You gotta carry your weight or life will try, measure and find you wanting without your consent. Little tip, it’s easier if you cooperate. Some input is better than none. And I say that with softness.

    • Dear heart, I think you’re ok. I’m at the beach, a little frazzled, and didn’t realize what you were referring to.

  11. Does anyone read Bitch magazine? There’s an article in this month’s issue (Summer 2018) about the cultural appropriation involved in “spiritual tourism,” specifically ayahuasca ceremonies. I always expect to see a mention of A Donkey in these articles about Asshole-ish Things That Wipipo Do When They Pretend To Be Hippies.

    “People of color want to reclaim their traditions so that they might communicate with and honor their ancestors; white people comsume these substances to get away from theirs. In effect, ayahuasca is nothing more than a Band-Aid for the symptoms of first-world problems: boredom, loneliness, and a lack of real community. It’s no different than the pharmaceutical drugs white people so often turn their noses up at, meds that many people of color struggling to access basic healthcare cannot afford.”

    “Spiritual tourism is what happens when you take cultural appropriation on the road and call it a self-care journey.”

    “… the upcoming Festival of Ancestral Medicine in Quito… a closer look reveals that there will be body painting, belly dancing, reiki, and yoga— none of which are ancestral to Ecuador… An extra $60 gets you an ayahuasca, peyote, or San Pedro ceremony… ‘These spaces are exclusively for the wealthy and marketed toward Anglophone foreigners… Here, it’s abnormal to drink medicine at festivals like this.’”

    Donkey: “But I’m different! I’m an embodied godddess! I’m not your average, basic white bitch! I’m special! I’m tribal! Shakti rising!”

      • He is. I fear something really terrible could happen here. Rhoda was doing a run through of various RBD personalities and was so freaked out by this post, she sent it to me.

    • Now, now, three old timers popped up among the comments in the 55 Wildwood Lane posts and indicated how much they loved the coverage. Maybe the problem is you? winky emoticon

  12. Why doesn’t Jules just give up and move home to Chicago?

    Or does Dadsers encourage this BS because he gets off on his daughter “exploring polyamory” around the globe…

    • She resented having to move back to Chicago when Dadsers strong-armed a neighbor to get her that ill-fated Chicago Tribune Media gig. Petey doesn’t have any more favors to call in and he’s using the downtown condo as an office. What would the lazy burro do, other than sit around the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility and expect Momsers to wait on her hand and foot?

      • Momser would not sign on for that.

        I was thinking about her poor brother’s future and have decided that her family has probably set her up with a trust at this point. She can’t afford to live in the manner she thinks she deserves, but she can get by without working. It stretched nicely in Bali. I’m wondering if it happened as a result of her abuse of credit card for the Debbie Does Europe tour. Her brother would for sure sign on if it meant he never has to be responsible for her onsite account.

    • I think she missed the boat by not staying in Chicago and living downtown in that nice condo, right in the center of everything that was happening in that city, and working her social media column at the Tribune. She could have had a decent living if she’d just applied herself, focused on actual social media content and not on herself, and not hired freaking interns to do her job for her. Swanning around like a celebutard and thinking she’d struck it rich with Pancakes really meant she’d blown just one more chance at a decent career she could have eventually branched out to other things after a year or so. Maybe even done some on camera work there in town. Chicago is a major market and she was an idiot to think NY or LA were her only real opportunities for “fame” as she envisioned it.

      • focused on actual social media content and not on herself

        Yeah well, that’s where it all falls apart

  13. Lol this is from Petey’s website

    Closing Observation
    The American Writer’s Museum just opened a block north of my new office. This innovatively-designed home for American poets, playwrights and authors inaugurates a multimedia celebration of the 60th anniversary of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road.

    Captivated by the excitement of the road ahead and the promise of new explorations, he wrote: “The world was suddenly rich with possibility. * * * ‘I won’t sleep,’ I decided. There were so many other interesting things to do.” Get your sleep. But enjoy this summer rich with possibility.

    What a self-important dweeb.

    • But did she go dancing every night for the next six months after lunging in front of that car?

  14. OMFG! Again? On Memorial Day? Where’s her loser husband? Can’t Papa Chevalier, the one who got away, and Smellsberg, the one she managed to bag, help her?


    • For.



      I could be a quadruple amputee and I would be ashamed to plead with people on fucking Facebook in this way.

      • She even mentions in the video that she was out late dancing last night! When she knew she had to finish packing?! Christ, she’s insufferable.

    • I wonder what would happen if someone replied, “I know a great moving company that’s based in Harlem, and they charge only $75 an hour. They’re available today, so I asked them to message you.”

      Jena would probably say, “I was hoping to find someone who’ll work for free. Do you think they’ll accept hugs and gently used menstrual products as payment? Aho!”

      • You can hire people to come help you pack and load your truck. You don’t need to pay for the whole move. Or how about a few college aged kids who would probably help for $100 and a case of beer? Also, personal phone call instead of throwing it out to “friends” on Facebook.

    • These constant pleas for help are pathetic. I’ve moved cross-country several times, with kids even. Yes, packing sucks. But it’s one of those basic things that any adult is capable of planning and carrying out. Such a lazy layabout.

    • Well, Jena dear, it appears that you indeed possess “hands.” So you might want to consider using them for packing.

      As for “friends,” perhaps you’ve used them enough already, and that’s why they aren’t responding to your infantile damsel-in-distress pleas.

      It bears repeating: you are 39 years old. Or as your friend Judy would say, 39-years-old.

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