Updated: Donkey’s Property Manager “Justin” Is Madly AirBNBing Her “Filthy, Disgusting” Stall

Only $200 per night, bunnies!

The reviews are in:

Dean writes:

If I could have seen this place in person before my arrival I would have cancelled my reservation immediately. Given some of the other reviews, I expected some quirkiness but I was not prepared for how disgusting the carpet and furniture was in person. There is not a single area of carpeting that is not stained and gross. All of the living room and dining room furniture is white – correction, WAS white – what is not stained is ripped. It seems that someone with a love for orange soda – but an unfortunate case of the shakes – has wandered by every carpeted surface and seating area (and brought along their dog with a bladder infection). Next problem? The lighting. There is not a single set of lights in this place that does not have a burned out bulb. In some areas, ALL bulbs are burned out. The master bedroom and lower bedroom are controlled by a separate thermostat that seems impervious to user input. On our third night when the heat decided to stop working I spent 15 minutes shivering in the cold hallway looking up youtube videos on how to use the thermostat. No amount of overrides or scheduled heat settings got this thing to work. After three cold nights it suddenly came back on the last night at full blast. There are plenty of notes about what tea you can and can’t use in the house but no directions on how to control the temperature – thanks. [Host could not figure it out either – it is not that we are thermostat-challenged] More? The downstairs bedroom’s shower is not powerful enough for a bald man to wash his hair so we had to share the master shower. There is zero privacy between the shower and the room so we had to vacate when others showered. The master bath has a double vanity but the hot water does not work on one side and the cold does not work on the other. When pulling the stool out to sit at the vanity mirror the leg fell off. This is the tale of this house – every single thing has some problem. Still more? Oh yes. The TV was taken away “because the cable was shut off” according to the host. The box for the smart TV is still in the garage and shows that it could have connected to the wifi for things like Netflix. Did we come to watch TV? No. Would we have like to use it for the kids to watch a movie at night? Yes. Don’t list it in the ad if it is gone! There is no microwave. There is barely any light in the kitchen. The kitchen counter is broken. The blender is broken. There are missing cabinet doors. The reality of the five bedrooms: 1) Master is large and may be the cleanest area 2) Downstairs is coldest and has the dirtiest carpet 3) A full bed shoved into a…

Poor Dean was still raging away when he reached the word limit! Goodness, what did this guy expect? A burro and her boyfriend had been inhabiting the house.

Check out the AirBNB page.

Thanks to Melting Marionette for the alert!

Update: Our ineffable Grifty did a bit of digging and discovered that the shady Justin is actually a property manager. In addition to Donk’s shithole, he appears to be managing a few other feelthy stalls. So, our burro renegotiated her lease for a second year and then took off for Ubud, planning on earning her income by renting out Collinwood? Short-term and long-term subletters?! Do the owners know what’s up? Is this even legal? Should someone contact AirBNB or HomeAway? Should someone alert Peter Baugher so that it doesn’t come as a surprise when his beast of burden gets sued again? It’s worrisome!

201 COMMENTS

  1. Oh my god, look at the pictures. Her stupid fucking bear is still in the bedroom. The dining table is cracked and there are no chairs. And read all the reviews and look at the calendar. The dates blocked off are very curious. If the house is in foreclosure, why is her stuff still in there? Who is Justin? Apparently he is illiterate and has no idea how to manage a vacation rental. All the things wrong with that house could be corrected for less than a grand and they could be renting it for much more if they did.

    The whole setup is so weird. Why is her stuff still there? And one renter said the “owner” stopped by in April unannounced while they were getting dressed for a wedding. Who owns this place? I guess the bank does?

    • I cannot believe the mysterious Justin thought it would be a good idea to upload a fauxto of the many coat ghouls inhabiting Donk’s bathroom, as well as that full-on shot of that cracked dining table.

      THIS IS MARKETING SUCCESS!!

    • “and there’s just generally a lot of personal belongings (a unicorn prop, giant teddy bear, clothes, etc.) that would do better in a locked closet away from guests.”

      reviewer also noted lack of curtains, therefore impossible to sleep after sun came up.

      • Such a complainer! Why didn’t the reviewer just do those windows Shanti style and hang some towels from the curtain rods?

  2. It’s nice to see the dark brown duvet, complete with Debbie’s bodily fluids, survived the move.

    • Excuse you, the color is chocolate. It’s how you make your space more masculine when your fiancé boyfriend moves in with you. (Boyfriend: “It’s just a soft move-in.”)

      • OMGreg!

        It’s all coming back now.

        She posted a picture of Debbie under the CHOCOLATE duvet and some comment along the lines of “I love to go home to this piece of ass”, right?

        So classy, our Donkey.

      • They could teach a CSI course in that place.

        • Probably a shit-ton of coke still left in the carpets from the 2009 tenants.

  3. there’s a review by Leslie in March of this year that cracked me up: “there’s just generally a lot of personal belongings (a unicorn prop, giant teddy bear, clothes, etc.) that would do better in a locked closet away from guests”. She left a unicorn and her awful clothes around? Who even does this?!

    • Also: one of the listed “bedrooms” is actually a bed in the laundry room?!!!

      • That listing is a gregdamn wealth of laughs, as well as a perfect example of how NOT to market a rental property.

        • The dining table standing in the middle of the dining room but no chairs to sit on?! it’s like an alien who has only a passable knowledge of the ways humans interact with each other put that place together.

          • All the shitty brocade nursing-home armchairs are amusing as hell. Is NGMB’s precious desk there?

  4. The question is, how much is Donkey netting out of the deal vs. Justin? Who is the mysterious ”owner” who stopped by in April? Was ILYR or Donkey in the area then?

    • iirc she was also present, or stopped by during an airbnb rental of the palace of fine arts apartment.

      • Donk stopped by, hoping she could crash there for the night. This intrusion has her hoofprints all over it.

    • I caught that too. The bladder stains on the carpet are the only reminder of said dog.

      • JFA’ing to add that the stable genius who wrote the marketing pitch included coyotes (like that’s a selling point)-no, especially if you have small dogs.

        • Ha, ha haha! I did a double take when I read that and then I thought, “OK, maybe coyotes are really popular in America for some reason.”

  5. This is so fucking annoying and entitled. Imagine having a space that big with gorgeous views of the countryside and treating it like shit.

    • What I get from the comments is that the Donkey invested about $0 dollars in furnishings (i.e. no window treatments in the bedrooms, one of the guests complained nobody could sleep past 7 AM), or furniture (the table & chairs were bought with Bravo money for her Marina stall, I think) or cleaning, and didn’t even bother changing lightbulbs.

      • She clearly was living well beyond her means and was unable to furnish the house or have it cleaned, and Dadsers doles out the dollars sparingly. I wonder what she told Robin and Peter about her new place, other than she could afford it because The Reimagine Factory would be bringing in millions. Tony Robbins’s daughter-in-law promised Donk that she would be a suctheth!

  6. Good Lord, look at that teddy bear in the corner. It’s heartbreaking.

      • If you live near Novato, I think it’d be worth $200 to spend the night in squalor and grab the bear.

        • Well, as I mentioned elsewhere in this post, I dare ya, no, I double-dog dare ya! to take a black light into that festering roach motel & see just how filthy it really is.

          For science.

  7. “It seems that someone with a love for orange soda – but an unfortunate case of the shakes – has wandered by every carpeted surface and seating area (and brought along their dog with a bladder infection”

    or A Donkey with a love for orange pancake makeup

      • Have you forgotten the video with Julia and Julia Price each screaming into Lilly’s ears? Or the ridiculous fauxtoshoot where Donkey wore a ski cap and tutu and took a leap through the air, with Lilly in her arms? I’d say the entirety of Lilly’s life was pretty painful.

        Most of the time I have no feelings about Julia, she’s just a good TV show to look in on now and then. It’s just like Days of Our Lives when I was a kid–every summer when school got out, there had been no forward motion in any storyline in the nine months since I’d last regularly watched, so I could easily pick it up again, summer after summer. But I absolutely hate her for her treatment of that poor dog. And I hate her parents for allowing it. They’re all awful people, and her parents absolutely deserve a daughter like her.

  8. So Donkey doesn’t so much have an aversion to televisions as much as she does paying the cable bill?
    I have so many questions. So she leased this home from an actual person and is not airbnb’ing it through another person (so that she doesn’t get busted again?)
    My mom always says people like Julia run through the raindrops it should be added with a unicorn prop.

    • She AirBNB’ed the house when living there with Chad. After the breakup she sublet the house to Justin, who is also AirBNBing the shit out of it. Somewhere in the middle of all this insanity, the house was sold and has now apparently gone into foreclosure. What blows my mind is that Donk’s crap is still in the house. Even if she sublet it as furnished, why not put away that goddamn bear?

      • I didn’t realize you could Air BNB long term (that’s where my confusion was then). I can only imagine her sales pitch to keep that crap in the place–Famous author’s stuff adds value. All to avoid storage costs. Honestly, she should just sell that crap.
        I *almost* feel badly for her. Yeah, I really don’t.

        • Donkey leased the house from someone, then she herself AirBnB’ed it (aka subletting it) pretending to be the owner (just like she did in San Francisco), then when she moved to Bali she hired some sketch property manager to AirBnB it for her. You can rent to people long term via AirBnb. I have a place that people rent for several months at a shot. But most AirBnB renters are short term renters. The thing is, we don’t know if the actual owner of the house knows she’s subletting it, or if this is forbidden or not in her leasing agreement (most of the time subletting is prohibited.)

          • anyone in their right mind forbids subletting. you just don’t know who they may get in.

            we are lucky enough to have long-term tenants in our rental property, and there’s a definite clause in their lease forbidding it.

            julie once again, cannot hit the learn button. that’s the thing when people aren’t responsible for their own actions.

    • I’m guessing that the television, microwave, and possibly even the dining room table chairs have all been pawned, But none of it brought enough to buy lightbulbs.

      I’m also wondering if somebody got a fraudulent mortgage?

      DONKEY!!! Never change, you foul fucking ditch pig.

    • More likely that Petey does not pay cable bills, since the Baughers are not TV-watching people.

      • They don’t BELIEVE in it, okay?? Except for some seventeen shows she can list, Lil’ Donk never watched TV because she was too busy “quoting” Spinoza. Such is the life of a lawyer’s daughter, baby!

  9. Can you imagine how nice that house would be with hardwood floors, actual furniture, lack of word art? I’d love to hear the story of how this amazing, multimillion dollar property ended up an orange-soda-stained communal stink house for woos.

  10. WTF is donkeys motive for barging in during preparation for the wedding? How fucking inconsiderate can one donkey be? Rhetorical question.

    Bish must have been on the hunt for a tiara …

    • How much you wanna bet she was hoping to crash there for the night? I’d stake my life on it. She’s broke as a joke and certainly couldn’t have afforded lodgings. Hell, she couldn’t even afford to have this house professionally cleaned.

      • It’s troubling.

        Pete and the other one need to take her in for benefit of society. “Non” makes more and more sense

    • Obviously when the groom set eyes on donkey, he’d immediately call off the wedding and ride his new donkey off into the sunset.

    • I can’t even imagine the horror of having the Donkey clomping around the place, desperate for attention, making weird faces and inappropriate comments, while her cackling laughter echoes on the cathedral ceilings, on YOUR WEDDING DAY.

      You just know that it wasn’t a seamless, I’ll-grab-this-suitcase-and-show-myself-out type of visit, or the guests (victims) would’t have bothered to mention it in the comments.

      The horror. The horror.

  11. “Justin” is making duck lips in his profile picture. No good can come from such a person.

    That sad mattress on the floor between two shitty end tables in the one bedroom. The one random chair in that room. Her crazy Burning Man wedding poster over the washer and dryer. A big fucking basket with her name embroidered on it, in case anyone forgets who the “owner” is. That sad bear on the floor in the corner of the bedroom. The tacky tapestry/scarf thing up over the one window, instead of window treatments.

    Yes! Pushing 40 and unable to fully furnish her entire “home”! THIS IS SUCCESS!!!

    • You’ve heard of semi-furnished. “Elysium” just happens to be semi-quarter-furnished (or maybe semi-octo-furnished is the appropriate realtor descriptor to apply here. Or maybe random-tacky-leftover-abandoned-Donkey-crap is more apt.)

      • Her home is comfy and delightful; she said so herself! She has a new respect for Mom$er, now that she herself is a home maker (minus the cooking and cleaning and having a husband and raising a family.)

    • Also it is 68% booked for the next three months, so she and her property manager should damn well be able to afford a house cleaner and light bulbs.

      • So, she took off for Ubud and has been using this filthy house that she doesn’t own as a means of generating income?! Is that even legal? I know the Bernal Heights woos living in Ubud owned the place but geez! The plot thickens and sickens …

        • Depends on what her lease says. Usually there is a no sublease clause.

      • i have a theory that some of those days are “blocked” days when the property is not available, so they can come back and crash / do laundry, etc.

        not good to have every day available – potential renters may think “what’s wrong with this stall?”; especially in light of some of the comments left.

        am also convinced that some of the one-line comments have been left by woo-quaintances in an effort to drum up business.

        • Yes, those days could be blocked because Justin, or the Donkey, or some third roommate we don’t even know about will be actually living there.

          • i had thought of cross-referencing free-dates between the various listing sites to see if blocked days on one site corresponded with availability on another, but its too hard at this hour of the night, and i’m in the middle of desk-errands today (sun), trying to finish something before a tuesday deadline.

          • The dates are the same for May/June (the homeaway listing does not cover dates beyond that) but the PRICE is wildly different.

            In Homeaway is $400 / night any time, while airBNB is more like $250 / night on average.

            I don’t get it, but next time I rent something on airBNB, I will make sure I check prices on homeaway or VRBO for the same property.

          • The rates are different because the crack(head) property manager probably clicked the wrong button on AirBnB and they are automatically adjusting the rates. They always set them way too low. You never want them to set the rates for you.

        • Unless the woo-quaintences actually rented this place for money and handled the transaction through AirBnB they would not be allowed to post reviews. You can’t fake reviews anymore on any of the major listing sites. It all goes through their “systems.” I suppose if they did this and Donkey paid them back they could have done this, but that would involve too much thought and work for any of these layabouts.

    • Also, strangers taking a dump below your shelf of inspirational self- help books. THIS is success!

    • A Wallace Berry reference on RBD? I’m a little verklempt, so you’ll have to talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic: Do you think Lilly passed away after ingesting something that had been living in Donk’s carpet? Why or why not? Discuss!

      • There is a doggie treat canister on the countertop in the kitchen in one of the pictures on the Homeaway listing. It could be ancient history though.

  12. Between this post and the last I count NO FEWER THAN FOUR “we should probably cuddle now” pillows. Did she get a bulk discount? Did she run around moving one and the same pillow from room to room to make sure it appears in multiple photos?? Is she a pinteresting Mormon housewife from 2012? The mind reels.

    • it’s really creepy and aggressive. And the repeated implication is that you and the homeowner just fucked. So why would a normal person (ha) want to shove that into a potential renter’s face? it’s super gross and weird. Normal people don’t have to repeatedly assert that they are so sexy and can find sexual partners.

      I’m forced to conclude, based on my knowlege of how opposite-day she is, that she’s screamingly lonely.

  13. I am trying to imagine what the full concierge service looks like.

    Also, why all the space? The home I raised my 3 children in was nowhere near that size and we had plenty of room. She clearly doesn’t enjoy cleaning so why not a modest one bedroom somewhere? I get the need for status, but how does something that looks that wrecked, and which makes it impossible for you to afford anything else improve your status?

    • This. Did she think Ryan Allis and his piece of the month would be impressed by the sparse furnishings, the urine-flavored carpeting, and the limited toilet paper?

        • That might explain the uncleaned towels. If there’s no toilet paper, what else is in the bathroom to use? Washcloths and hand towels.

          I’m still amazed by the robes. I skeeve at the thought of getting out of the shower and putting on some stranger’s worn, dingy, old pink bathrobe. I can imagine the ring around the collar from rubbing against her face spackle and greasy hair. At least when a hotel offers a bathrobe, you know that thing has been washed in scalding hot water and bleached within an inch of its life.

          • And unless I am much mistaken, hanging alongside to enhance the sexy déshabillé ambiance the Art Director of these photos was going for is at least one pastel nylon “vintage” negligee inherited by the Art Director from her Dead Granny Moneybags.

          • Good catch, FLM! Did you also notice the two rolls of wrapping paper in the laundry room, for late night holibray head bonking?

    • I’m sure she rented a big place — a villa, even! — with the goal of airbnb’ing rooms for income. That’s pretty much all she’s got.

      • Go look at her (vestigial) Pinterest Board called Guest Love started back then. Oddly, she failed to implement even one of the cliched “inspirations” (iirc, a basket with bath linens and sample-sized beauty and hygiene products, a driftwood shelf charging station and a decorative placard indicating the Wi-Fi password) at OMG Elysium.

        • I need to do a post on that gregdamn hilarious pinterest board. She keeps pinning wedding gowns on the damn thing. Is she planning on divorcing herself and walking down the aisle with Dr. Gary?

          • Some of Donkey’s Pinterest Boards:
            Pups (2 Pins)
            Fitness (6 Pins)
            Wedding Magic (298 Pins)

          • Only 10 pins for “Spirituality” but mega pins for “Photoshoots” and “New Photoshoots.” Never change, Rainbow!

  14. So much beige carpet. So many empty walls. How can a house in that kind of setting be so Greg-damn depressing? It’s just a howling void of bland boring desperation.

    • Speaking of boring, I broke a bone in the most uninteresting way possible (middle of the night, toddler’s misplaced toy), so apologies for my recent absence from this glorious site. If any of you catladies get tired of examining Julia’s bland-hole, I am currently accepting submissions for a tale of intrigue and excitement to explain my leg cast (my friend just broke his arm hitchhiking in Mongolia. To my credit, my first thought was to make sure he was okay & ask if he needed any help, but my second response was total jealousy at his awesome injury story).

      • I once broke an elbow falling off a chair, so your injury sounds glamorous in comparison.

  15. so, an information aggregator site lists this property as a 3 bdrm / 4.5 bath, built in 1995 and worth $1.55M.

    additional to our lady of introspection, current residents are listed as “t. edwards” and “c. biggs”. past residents are also listed; the ineffable effable (effin ineffable) c. mcnally amongst them.

    further down the rabbit hole, i found real names of the owners and relationships to current residents, but for privacy reasons will not post here.

    theorizing that the owners (in their 60’s) found the place too big (owned 2006 – 2016) and moved out, leaving said property in the care of offspring, which are included in past and present residents. maybe (due to woo-association), the current owners were unable to pay mortgage, and it went into foreclosure.

    the fact that one of the current residents is offspring may account for donkey leaving her possessions out for all to see. she is probably leasing from this person, and sub-leasing to abb / homeaway / vrbo to try to make a buck.

    (donkey -> buck – see what i did there?)

    a review of past occupants lists justin as a property manager, but we knew that already.

    • So, is this like that thing that she does where she moves in with someone and then refuses? She did that to Michael, then to Pancakes and now to the man-boy DJ?

      I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. This is why everyone needs a Cindy McCain in their lives.

    • For those of you who aren’t familiar with the OMG California real estate market, don’t be fooled by the $1.55M. That’s nothing. Tear-down shacks sell for more than that.

    • Those cheapskate parents only offered Junior $1100 to move out. The nerve! Why, that triffle wouldn’t even cover Judy’s monthly massage bill.

      • This whole situation makes the massage thing even more ridiculous. “I live in absolute squalor and rent out the home we don’t own…and my weekly massage bill is a squadillion dollars.”

        Also baffling, if I had been evicted from my previous rental for renting it out on Airbnb, can you guess what I’d never do again? Eviction makes it impossible to rent anywhere else. Unless she finds another simple dupe like Rain to live with her ( and take the lease out in his name), she’ll be squatting with friends and acquaintances into eternity. Lock your doors San Francisco residents. You may hear the clippety clop of donkey hooves at your front door soon.

        • I’m indeed amazed that Donkey could find some dupe stupid enough to rent to her, and I know ONLY her name is on the current lease. Did the owner even bother to contact previous landlords?

          • I would think you’re right, especially with the info that Rhoda keeps digging up. More soon, when I get two minutes.

        • re: the eviction – hence my theory down-thread that rental of her current stall is woo-connected.

          • Well, previous resident Kathryn/Ka is an ecstatic dancer and visionary artist (insert quotation marks where needed) who has performed with some tweedlers from OMGRAIN’s circle, so I’m with you.

        • This is why I have no sympathy for her. She does not think any rule or law applies to her. And they don’t as long as someone is there to mop up all her messes.

  16. Good lord, this description sounds awful. Why are there missing cabinet doors?? Did they use them for firewood?

    • The part about having a table lamp on the kitchen countertop to compensate for the missing lightbulbs is tragically funny.

    • Yes, everything we’ve been discussing these last few days has been about the home that Chad & Judy & the coyotes shared in Novato.

      • “Chad & Judy & the Coyotes” would be not only a great band name but also a wonderful play by William Saroyan.

        • In the time of your life, live—so that in that good time there shall be no ugliness or death for yourself or for any life your life touches. Seek goodness everywhere, and when it is found, bring it out of its hiding place and let it be free and unashamed. and coyotes.

  17. If you ever want a terrifying read, check out the Airbnb subreddit. Everyone described is absolutely horrible/disgusting and I am convinced never to avail myself of this service.

    • All of the vacation rental companies are odious. The best thing is to work directly with owners. There is a movement underfoot by owners to take back the industry. Corporate raiders have destroyed the business model, and both owners and guests have nightmare tales to tell.

    • Oh. God. I’m not too familiar with the AirBnB system, what with being a poor, and a country bumpkin to boot. But that subreddit is a horrorshow. I’m howling at a story posted by a homeowner who inadvertently hosted a prom after-party.

      • JFAing to add: this exchange is what had me in tears of laughter. Apologies if it isn’t as funny to anyone else, as I’m iggnerunt of the ways of renting out your house to strangers in the short-term. Asking my adult kids to house-sit for 2 weeks one year when we were in OMG Tanzania was more than enough stress for one lifetime.

        Read bottom to top: https://i.imgur.com/YzeSIgp.png

          • i wish i had not see this. i have desk errands to run, and a meeting to prep for tomorrow.

        • I am LOL at the host whose guest was banging some dude on the living room sofa [oh hai Donk] so he used the Wifi Roku to turn on the tv and blast them with Shrek.

          • That was my favorite one this week too. Every so often the Airbnb hosts come out to lecture the poor Airbnb renter who had their rental cancelled the day the were traveling across the country with non refundable tickets about how they need to understand that it isn’t a hotel, blah blah blah. It is highly,highly entertaining.

            I know at least a couple of people from RBD who do a beautiful job renting out beautiful homes, so I am not saying it is a bad thing, but that subreddit is hilarious and frightening.

          • He was literally hiding out in another room as he posted an SOS about his guests boning in his living room… then he posts, “OMG I was fiddling with the Roku and now I’m accidentally playing Shrek!” *dying*

          • I think it is important to note that the couch was in a shared living space, not a whole house rental. What a disgusting situation

  18. That place is like a beach house that someone’s indulgent parents let hordes of their kids’ 18-to-22-year-old friends crash in, summer after summer. It’s caught right at the moment in time before the folks retire and rip the thing to shreds so they can revamp it and live in it properly.

    I bet there’s AT LEAST a torn and rancid fur onesie, several mouldy polyester booty shorts that were sharted in and quickly hidden, and some vom-stained sleeveless hoodies lurking in some forgotten cupboards. And probably some used condoms stuffed into the bedroom skirting boards so Judy didn’t find out that Chad was banging several other overripe soiled groupies while she was at yoga.

    • I notice that time is blocked off after, I believe, September, so maybe the new owners are going to renovate then. Who the heck knows? From the pictures there looks to be an evolution of the stuff in the house. Some pictures show woo artwork above the fireplace, some don’t. Some show the white covered dining chairs at the cracked table, some don’t.

      Regardless, light carpet and white furnishings are the stupidest things EVER to put in a rental house. Hell, carpet itself is idiotic. It’s much easier to clean hard surfaces even if you have area rugs over the patterns then won’t show stains as easily if they are set in. I’m surprised AirBnB reviews are rated so high star-wise given that the written ones are so bad. I wonder if the guests were worried about retaliatory feedback from Justin the crack(head) property manager.

      • I love this story. “The Marin County Major Crimes Task Force seized approximately 6 kilograms of suspected cocaine, $500,000 in cash, a pound of processed marijuana and 1,000 pills of suspected “molly,” a party drug similar to ecstasy.” The guy said he made $4-5000 selling coke (ha!) and hadn’t filed taxes for a few years. 4-5 grand for selling multiple KILOGRAMS of coke?

        • Was the dealer following the Julia Allison work ethic that he learned when enrolled in The Reimagine Factory?

    • Nevertheless, the photos don’t lie. This is a boring, bland suburban house made of builder-grade materials and lacking in any charm or beauty. It is not a “villa” in any way, shape, or form. A villa would have beautifully landscaped grounds and every amenity, not WalMart patio chairs on a wooden deck above some concrete, and broken appliances, and a non-functioning heating system. Honestly, the entire place is soul-less and depressing, made even more so by A Donkey’s sad furniture and bad wall posters.

      I guess it would be an OK place for someone who just needs a place to crash after spending the day in SF and isn’t too picky… maybe they can bring back a pizza for dinner, and their kids can run around on the driveway for something to do.

      I’ve got to hand it to Donk, though… she always manages to seek her own level. This Justin dude is just as delusional as she is. This house is NOTHING special, especially for California, and ESPECIALLY for Marin. If this thing is a villa, then so was the Brady Bunch house.

      • There are like 4 dining chairs for 15 people, no window treatments of any kind, plenty of burn out lightbulbs, no microwave, no TV, no coffee maker…. it sounds Bad.

        I wonder about the positive reviews, are they real?

        Somebody mentioned you can’t post a review unless you rent the place through airBN, but what if you book it and then cancel, can you still write a review?

        How long has that rule been in place? Could it be some of the reviews predate it?

        • You can’t cancel and write a review. You could likely shorten your stay and still write one. I’ve been listing properties on AirBnB for about 3-4 years, and since I’ve been listing on the service, people have no way to leave a review without paying and completing their stay. I don’t know about what they did in the years before I listed with them. AirBnB handles all the communication with owners and guests after the rental and sends a special email to solicit the reviews. Guests are not required to leave one. If you wait too long to submit one it won’t be posted. AirBnB ranks you and prioritizes your listing by how fast you communicate and by how many 5 star reviews you get.

        • I assumed the positive reviews are from younger people who viewed it as a cheap crash pad for a large group. If your intention is to have a place that you don’t have to worry about (because it’s already messed up), and you just want a large group of people to crash for cheaper than hotel rooms – this would probably be the place for you.

          • This. Cheaper and less scary than a Motel 6, though the towels are probably cleaner at a roadside lodge.

          • Most people who care about their places that are that large have a reasonable guest limit and/or charge for extra guests, plus have a hefty cleaning fee and a hefty damage deposit. That house has THREE bedrooms according to the real estate info and not five, so a reasonable number of max guests would be 6 or 8 if there is a pull out sofa. Also you would say no events or parties, not that this prevents it all, but some people post cameras at the front door so they can check.

          • If Donkey couldn’t afford the cable bill, there’s no way she’s springing to record who goes in and out of that front door.

          • This. People think it is easy and a picnic to run high end vacation rentals but it is a lot of work and costs a lot of money to do right. The bigger the house and property, the bigger the potential issues and overhead costs. You can’t just skip the country and leave it up to some duck-faced eurotrash to manage for you who has no sense of customer service or hospitality experience. It is essentially a full time job complete with occasional after-hours and weekend emergencies, and we know hard work is something Donkey has always been allergic to.

      • It looks like the same taste-free charmless prig who decorated her parents’ home did the same here. Cold and totally basic

  19. This heifer is moving to the Bay Area, ahh
    Such a moron both of them seriously these grifters…?

        • I bet the kitchen sink is full so she’s washing her salad in the grungy tub to add essence to it.

        • Uh oh… I fear a “Sacha and me making epic cosmic love in the bathtub” fauxto coming soon…

        • “i know how to rent things, as in actually paying money, but i want to rent things for free, as in not actually paying money”

          also, no friends, obviously

        • The same situation that Donk is/was in when she returned to the states. Monkey see, monkey do.

        • To the San Francisco area, no less. Maybe she should move in to Wildwood Elysium Donkey Manor?

        • Meanwhile, in Mill Valley, Noodles, No-Vowels and Crowww (if they have any sense) are hunkering down in their root cellar, pretending they have decamped to Sayulita for the season.

          • lolf hah, his fam rich too, hence her preggers at 39 at one week

            root cellar! natural for the kid

          • Donk may be Noodles Poodles’s “dear friend” on FB, but there’s no way in hell she wants that bad hygiene burro crashing on her couch.

  20. That house is an abomination. You’re privileged, you move to Marin and you choose THAT? How does she always choose these kinds of awful places? Is it possible to have below-zero taste?

    • We’ve seen the insides of the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility. This is learned behavior.

        • And then Donk remembered that she’s pretending to be a “hippie” now, so she grabbed a few lanterns and Buddha statues from Target, and printed out a few construction paper “Peace and LOVE” signs.

          • JFA to add: can we talk about the pinwheel thingy that’s stuck into the sad WalMart flower pots with the straggly, unloved plants?

            “A bohemian, 40-year-old ‘girl’ named Rainbow lives here! She loves rainbows and colors (bright!) Welcome to her delightful, whimsical home! She is just the kind of free-spirited scamp who would put a rainbow pinwheel in a flower pot… because she’s rebellious like that!”

          • His cracked me up, too. And way to stage the entrance of a $6K/month rental McMansion with unswept leaves, an old ratty mat, and a porch that needs serious cleaning and better props.

  21. No wonder Petey appeared to be so at home in Elysium, casually ensconced, red crewneck and all, alongside Jen&Bry on one of the once-white shabby-chic couches during his darling daughter Donkey’s 47th birthday party/orgy (which, tellingly, the other one declined to attend.)

    • Oops, supposed to be in response to thread above re assisted-living-facility-type environs.

      • Me too. That couple rolling around on the carpet in front of Petey! How many social diseases did those two unfortunate souls leave with?

        • Guess he had to check on his *investment*.

          • “I love what you’ve done with the place, Snookums. It looks just like our dear old house in Wilmette!”

  22. Damn, you can zoom in and literally see all the carpet dirt in the dining room table & chairs. You know the faux hippies walk aroumd outside barefoot and track a ton of dirt back in.

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one who did this. I picked out quite a few stains on the carpet in the master bedroom. I had to stop, though, because it made me feel too sad for poor Lilly. My dog is clearly upset and hides under the table if he has an accident inside, and he’s perfectly healthy. My heart breaks thinking of poor Lilly being too sick to hold it, and then feeling bad for it. Poor pup.

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