Ali Shanti Schemes To Get Her Grubby Hands On Another Property While Donk Cheers Her On

Ryan Allis, manboy and now full-blown woo, who’s currently taking a Landmark course in San Diego, is selling his $3 million dollar home in San Francisco – he offered Donkey a chance to be “first buyer” – and wants to rent a woo enclave in Encinitas. Everyone has suggested Ryan lease a monstrosity known as Skypad.

Shantitown to the rescue! I suspect any legal agreement drawn up would be as self-serving and murky as whatever contracts exist re: Starhouse, that woo shithole she “owns” (not really) near Boulder.

Speaking of the old raunch, she just sent out an endless, often incomprehensible missive to her listserv. It’s essentially some scam to get in on “sovereign unity,” which is how she is “holding” Starhouse. Is this dried-up raisin behind bars yet?

Ali also posted an eyebrowing-raising share about ayahuasca and suicide – be sure to have someone there when you take hallucinogens so that you don’t off yourself. Thanks for the warning, Timothy Leary. Scammy then suggests folks behave impulsively:

Why I’m going to Costa Rica at what may seem to be the worst time ever, and how it may help you make outside the box choices for your own life.

I just booked my flight for Jen Rode’s Simple Pleasures Retreat at her new retreat center, March 1-7.

The timing is not ideal, as it’s right in the middle of when I am diving deep at StarHouse and raising the money we need to close on our transaction.

And, yet, I am going anyway for a few reasons.

If you find yourself choosing not to attend events or do other things you really do want to do because you don’t have the time or the money, this may help you.

Every single time I’ve had a big uplevel in my own life, it came as a result of me making a choice that seemed to be completely unreasonable, from a time and/or money perspective.

The first time was when I had just started my own law practice, had a breastfeeding 6-month old and a 4-year old at home and with just two weeks notice chose to attend an event 3,000 miles away that would change the course of my law practice forever.

I used frequent flyer miles and took my husband and kids with me to make it work.

Had I not attended that event, I might still be practicing law the old traditional, broken way and never gone on to build a law practice I loved serving families.

Then, when my husband and I divorced and I agreed to give him $4,000/mo in child support and alimony, even though I didn’t have that kind of extra money available.

Blah, blah, blah. Me, me, me. Sorry, Skankatron, I’d prefer not being stranded overseas like your fanboy J. Mathias Bennett, who didn’t even have enough money for airfare to attend a conference but thought it would be a good thing to go anyway. How did that plan end? With this buffoon stranded at an airport and begging strangers on the internet for money to get back to the states.


  1. Holding space for Afghani …. !!!11!!!1111!!111!!!!1 first

    Also, I can’t even with these woo scammer grifters

  2. How does it never catch up for these people?!!! If I spend one month not living within my means, then I pay for it for the following couple of months. I make a decent living, but can’t faff off to Europe or Central America whenever I damn please. I want them to be broke and homeless!!!! (I am obvs v. bitter and angry at the moment).

    • You are a human with a moral compass who wouldn’t sponge, beg, scam or outright steal another cent from a fellow human.

      You probably live the “old traditional, broken way” by having a job and responsibilities.

      You probably feel uncomfortable borrowing a few bucks from a close friend to tide you over, because you had to pay to fix your car so can’t afford the full acting class payment for your kid this month.

      You may or may not have rich parents, but you’re stuck in this paradigm of not asking them to help you out because you’re too human-proud and not spiritual enough.

      Your life is meaningless unless you can visit resorts in developing countries, where the people look down on you as useless tourists who would die in 3 days if you got trapped there in some natural cataclysm.

      You probably need “Eliza Doolittle’s Basic Course in Managing Your Money In A Privileged White Society”(tm). PM me for details in how to become a sociopathic dysfunctional adult now! $discounts$

  3. I am not willing to scam my parents out of their retirement to “uplevel” my life.

    Standards. Some of us have them and, some of us are Ali Shanti/Alexis Neely.

      • Handbag said it best: Ali is the embodiment of all deadly sins, which is something she’s probably aware of and tries to hide behind lots (lots and lots) of fake sweetness, creepy baby voice, etc. She’s like a Stephen King character.

        That description stuck with me because it was so good, and I say that as someone who has never paid much attention to Shanti, only watched about 0.5 of her videos, etc.

        • Janice Soprano comes to mind.

          She didn’t hesitate to steal the Russian caretaker’s prosthetic leg over some old records, but she wrapped herself in a woo persona and, just like Alexis, at some point acquired an Indian name.

        • Why thank you, dearest Helena. I hope you will consider joining me in community by taking a room in PastaHouse.

    • You won’t be jealous after the Woo-Tang clan infests it with bedbugs, farts, & Judy juices.

    • Reading down the comments, it looks like woo types were already renting the place but were bounced out by property managers. I’m guessing because of loud music and clomping, too much research chemical “medicine” and the ensuing shrieks of the suddenly enlightened.

      • Exactly. The house been designated woo space by the woos – Sky Pad? – and I’m guessing it’s a revolving door, in which those renting the space just invite various and sundry to stay as long as they would like, in complete violation of the lease.

  4. Case Number: 2011CV000755 Division: 5
    Case Type: Forcible Entry and Detainer
    Judicial Officer: Thomas Francis Mulvahill
    Case Caption: Sawyers, Bill et al v. Neely, Alexis
    Court Location: Boulder County
    Party Status: All Active Inactive

    Alexis Neely Defendant
    Bill Sawyers Plaintiff
    Pat Sawyers Plaintiff

    There are a number of people in Boulder who preach “love, laugh, live” shit and all have some interesting pasts and do questionable (read CRAZY) things.

    I could be considered to be borderline “woo industry” and the rabbit holes here in Boulder are many. It is always fascinating when I meet someone who is all preachy, preachy about ‘living your truth’ and ‘following your joy’ and their lives are trainwrecks of selfish decisions and rampant narcissism.

  5. Since she is one of two speakers at this $10,000 event, I’m sure Ali/Alexis/EvilAxis is not paying her own way..

      • Women’s empowerment retreat! Sisterhood! Just us women… and my husband!

        Ben Rode is the one who fingers women’s vaginas while is wife Jen watches. So evolved! So sacred!

        This people are so damaged.

        • So the new “evolved, sacred empowerment” is the 21st century version of “snorting coke/speed and swinging”.

          I can bet you he’s only fingering them because a) he can’t get it up on the drugs, and b) wifey is so evolved and empowered and won’t let him stick his #metoo wango in them.

          • JFA [and rambling like a loon, thanks expensive Christmas wine]: Crowley, the Bloomsbury group, the Beats, sixties free love…and that’s only the first half of the free-livin’ vadge-swingin’ 20th century.

            It continues to amaze how modern grifters monetize the “letting your Yoni free” stuff when our ancestors have been doing it for ages. And that’s only in Western cultures.

            Judging by their excessive travel – to – actual interest in or knowledge of other cultures – ratio, no surprise.

          • They too probably read all the important books when they were kids, during ballet intermissions (great story!). So they DO KNOW all about your Bloomsberries, thank you.

      • Personal Channeled messages from Your guides through Jen Rode”

        I’m disinclined to feel very sorry for twits who buy into the BS.

  6. Ali Shanti: Hey guys, can you point me to the grieving relatives? I’m offering a limited time discount on my “Fleecing people who are in a bereavement fog after losing a parent” scam and it would be a shame for them to miss out on this opportunity.

    • Shanti (to decedent’s heirs): I’d like to take Skypad off your hands.
      DH: Great. How much?
      Shanti: How does $250k sound?
      DH: You’re offering us $250k for a million dollar property?
      Shanti: No, that’s my fee for helping liberate the property and free up space in your life.
      DH: Hello, 911, please send police.

      • Exactly and like these people don’t already have attorneys. She’s a parasite.

  7. JFA to add… What is this sovereign unity of which Ali speaks?

    It brings to mind the sovereign citizen -types who identify as travelers (not drivers) and write explanations on their cars about why they are not required to have license plates and famously demand to know, “Am I being detained?”

    She’s probably just got some friends together to take turns squatting in some abandoned building, but it’s funny to imagine a woo/sovereign citizen hybrid.

  8. A bit OT —

    The wreck of Aziz Ansari this past weekend has me wondering why Donk still hasn’t had a #metoo moment yet? To be clear, I’m glad she has not. I hope she was never mistreated in that way and I hope she doesn’t try to take advantage of a guy who didn’t mistreat her. But it seems like she *must* have at some point had her feelings hurt or had a disappointment about one of the many married/connected/famous guys in her past. But as far as I can tell, she hasn’t even implied that she had a #metoo experience. (I could be wrong–I don’t follow as closely as a true RBD-er should.)

    Also, re: the Ansari thing itself, I’m not sure what to think, for a lot of reasons. I’m actually not trying to debate the Ansari thing itself here. It just made me wonder what’s up with Donkey these days. Is she self-aware enough to know that her credibility is suspect for numerous reasons? Did she get paid off by some of her married/in-a-relationship/don’t-want-to-publicly-aknowledge-Julia guys?

      • this supports my point. it’s vague. no names named.

        you would figure, given her early opportunities, the opportunity to name someone and shame him is there. it certainly would be in her nature.

      • This bitch has sexually harassed men on camera for fucks sake! ON A “DOCUMENTARY”

        Gross hypocritical donkey is fucking disgusting.

    • Your Ph.D. in Donkology is revoked. As any serious student knows, Donk has been me-too-ing since college (as an excuse for late assignments) over the years, including, but not limited to, the time she played the And-My-Momsers-Too card.

      • I specifically was referring to her naming a guy and detailing the accusation on social media.

        (Note: I don’t want her to do this, but rather I’m surprised she hasn’t gone all out. You’re right–it’s not like she didn’t play similar cards in the past. But in this moment, she hasn’t named anyone.)

    • Maybe the woos frown upon speaking out against sexual abuse, harassment, assault, etc.? Perhaps some of the more sentient ones realize that bringing any attention connected with #MeToo will bring attention to the clit-flicking and other weirdo sex shit they do?

  9. When people start dumping properties, there’s an illness in the economy, and these woo-money magnets know it. Ali & Donk, the woo economy is collapsing; better get a job at Baskin-Robbins while they’re hiring.

    • The Awl and its sister publications are shuttering citing “a downturn in web publication.” Something like this isn’t isolated and will probably send seismic waves all across the net. Right?

      Have we reached our internet capacity?
      Will the WooGoddesses have no more founders to fluff?

    • Menial jobs??? That’s for people who aren’t manifesting financial success hard enough. Didn’t Shanti freak out because her teenage daughter got a job in chain-store retail?

      • And let’s be real, Petey Booger hasn’t been enabling this behavior for 30 years to see his precious baby behind the counter of a fast food establishment. He would figure out a way to keep supporting her if it meant he had to start selling his blood.

      • Shanti wanted the kid to sell dreamcatchers – pieces of wire and turkey feathers! WTF? To whom? Door to door? Fellow woo losers? And I loved that the kid just went out on her own and got a job at an ice cream parlor in the mall.

  10. How old will she be on Birthcray? I mean, we already know she’s way past wearing tutus and hot pants at an untz festival, but do we think she’ll start wearing clothing that covers her backside at parties? She’s no Cher or Madonna, and those gals have an actual stage between them and us filthy leering hoi polloi.

    OT, but I’ve been confused about all the Bali photos Donkley posts. It seems like she’s been there since October or thereabouts.

    So she’s been swanning around resorts and the touristy parts of towns for 3 months, with no actual work or hobbies to keep her active. There’s little evidence of any artistic pursuits, or hiking or backpacking, or volunteering work, or even engaging in any way with local people – not even resort staff.

    Either she’s been there for ages, or she’s on US soil trying to worm her way into something or other, but with a portfolio of look-at-me-in-SEA portraits she ekes out to pretend to be on some kind of lengthy spiritual quest she can totally afford because she’s so successful and self-actualised.

    I almost hope for her sake it’s the latter option, because it’s slightly less pathetic. Hell, my wealthy 65-year-old woo aunt still attends the Kho Phangan festival in Thailand every year and gets her tatas out for the 20-year-olds, and she’s an actual person who makes sure a lot of her tourist loot goes to the right places.

  11. Didn’t stupid Elizabeth Gilbert break tourism in Ubud after “Eat Pray Love”? I think I read somewhere that tourism of wealthy yoga ladies there skyrocketed after that terrible book, which means the BadonkaDonk is ten years late. As usual.

    • Of course.

      She can’t even have an original thought when picking a vacation destination.

      • Donk has YOO HOO’d Gilbert on more than one occasion. Maybe Liz can be the first woman she REALLY goes to the mat with, if you know what I mean.

        Myka wept.

    • Did Gilbert eat, pray, or love there? I didn’t read the book/see the movie/buy the soundtrack/see the Broadway show/enter the VR world/etc.

        • I think I shared this here before, when my best friend found out that I never read the book and didn’t even have much of an idea what it was (years ago), she described it as “deeply irritating,” using the English words for some reason. That cracked me up even though I didn’t really know what a dumb “thing” it was.

  12. How big is the divide between Ali’s reality and actual tangible reality?

    Does she actually think the warring clan of some fucked-up real estate dynasty is going to greet her turkey-feather-bedecked appearance with anything past three little words: “release the hounds”?

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