If You’re Wondering Why Rain & Rainbow Really Broke Up …

… look no further than our burro’s response to this annoying piece in The Times:

Donkey comments:

Except that *most* people do poly from a place of seeking validation and avoiding intimacy. They claim to be more evolved but actually they are addicted.

Other commenters ask Donkey how she defines intimacy and what she bases her assertions on. Of course she never responds. Just like *addicted* Rain never responded to her “Babe!” shoutouts re: his recent FB faxutos. Maybe Donkey really is turning into Ali Shanti?

As for Rain, looks like he’s moved on. And on and on and on.


  1. Any way you dress her, any career you give her, any community you find her, she’s just a basic sorority Sue looking for her engagement ring.

  2. I love that Donkey’s pic of Chad showed up in their friendship video. Cue Donkey cockblocking in 3, 2, 1…

    • It’s the only thing that confuses me about these overprivileged shallow twunts. Why would you need a hood, but not a shirt? Is it some kind of playa-specific atmospheric condition that requires a hood, rather than a hat? I NEED ANSWERS!

      Also, Donk just has to force herself into an unnatural position in every picture. I guess you have to when you’re dressing and behaving like 20 when you’re 40.

  3. Transbraytion: “I keep trying to yoohoo the ex who dumped me, but he’s busy boning someone else.”

    Here’s a thought: if you want to find a monogamy-/marriage-minded dude, try a different pool of people from the 45-year-old couch-surfing bachelors and the hot 25-year-olds they’re banging.

    Donk, you yourself claim to be “evolved,” but you’ve had three “OMG I’ve found my soulmate/we’re never breaking up/I’ve never met a more amazing person in life” obsessions in the past 6 years. Neediness is not intimacy. Perhaps you’re the one who’s “addicted.”

    • Three?! Has she ever had a relationship that wasn’t an obsessive Greatest Love to Ever Have Loved?

      Your last paragraph is actually good advice for her… if only she would listen, she might actually be less desperate and constantly miserable.

    • But how will everyone know that Julia Allison Baugher is the most beautiful and special rainbow if she doesn’t beguile a grifting attention hog manchild and transform him into the sexy monogamist billionaire of her dreams? I think deep down that’s the mechanism in her twisty little brain.

  4. Well, this faux lesbian encounter is all making sense. I figured when she gave that awkward shout out it was to prove to Drip that’s she’s into it or make him jealous of what he’s missing out on. But Drip dropped her anyway.

  5. ok so top picture- dude next to Julia, I forget his name-
    Look at 1 side of his face at a time, it’s like 2 completely different faces/expressions. happy/burnout

    • I think someone commented on this pic a while back and stated he had suffered some sort of medical issue like a palsy or stroke that caused his facial expression.

    • Actual stroke-face (not to be confused with Donkey’s Cee-Lo concert and Dirt-fest Dancer versions), but whatever those two guys’ physical attributes, positive or negative, how they ever thought shirtless hoods were just the thing is utterly un-understandable to me.

  6. Remember the 99 (or whatever) point list for the perfect boyfriend? Now she’s putting up with absolutely anything and she still can’t get a man to put a ring on it.
    Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

    • Yep, she really thought she was hot shit back in the day, a true prize worthy of all those natural demands. Does she even still have a Wikipedia page?

      She was on TV once after all! And multiple magazine covers!! She was the STAR of a Bravo documentary series!!! She was an internet founder and dated many important politicians and other fellow founders!!!! Her family is filled with Ivy Leaguers, potential speech writers and is politically aware!!!!! Georgetown journalist and public speaker!! And she wrote BOOK.

      Now she’s lucky if she can convince struggling dust hippy DJ’s to live with her in random rentals for more than several years and still cyber-stalking her ex’es. And playing dress-up as a rave go-go dancer about 15 years too late. Yeah, that Georgetown degree really has paid off.

      Sure, she was vaguely impressive and on an upward trajectory once. It’s just so odd and sad how her own smug entitlement and laziness was her eventual downfall. Much like Robin, I keep wondering what the story is now. I just hoping that one day this bitch can sit down and be humble.

      • Even at her peak (professional and looks), she was never going to land the type of guy she thought she deserved. There was always something very…. off about her. Not just her overt social climbing and insatiable greed for attention and prezzies.

        She never should’ve aimed higher than a pudgy, slightly balding dentist or accountant from her hometown

        • Even the pudgy, balding dentists with deballage moms could do better. The guy would have to be someone who is legitimately ugly or have severe personality issues to put up with Julia. Being merely pudgy or being a Norwood 3 wouldn’t prevent an educated guy with a good job from marrying someone more like Julia’s sister in law, which is several levels above Julia.

          • Right. Back when she was “hot” for a few minutes, she would’ve look down on guys like that with mucho scorn. Now? They wouldn’t look at her.

            Nothing at all wrong with those guys, but she always deluded herself into believing that she deserved so much “better” – hot, wealthy, famous, any other visible status markers that would make everyone else jealous. Instead, she’s gross, living like a hobo, and can’t even hold on to 4th rate druggy faux DJs

          • Remember when she and Devin went to the wedding together, and he talked about how there was an hour (a cocktail hour?) set aside for networking? SUCH good times.

      • She was only impressive as an opportunist, but she had nothing to back up her façade. Everything was phony, nothing was genuine. It was ‘fake it till you make it’ from day one, with the only goal being to use her status to land a trophy husband. Her whole life has been about trying on costumes, both literally and figuratively, to project the image she desperately wants others to believe. I can’t imagine she will ever change. She’ll be in the nursing home one day wearing a bad Christmas sweater and passing around a stained Wired magazine with someone on the cover who never looked like her in the first place.

        • Ha! Back when I was an EMT we used to pick up this lady who was 380lbs for dialysis 3x a week, she was 75 and was always going in for more stents (I think she was on #8!). Anyway, she was gorgeous back in the day and used to be on these magazines, she had them framed all over her house and would point them out and make us look at them every time we came to pick her up. She also had a giant print out of the world on her wall in the living room with pins in every city she had visited.

          She would always complain that her maids wouldn’t cook her enough hot dogs and cheeseburgers (which she wasn’t supposed to be eating).

          Anyway- she constantly hit on our male EMTs, touch their chests while lying in the gurney and try to hold their hands. She even would call our station to complain if she got picked up by a female crew.

          Haven’t thought about that lady in a while. Lord give me the serenity to age gracefully.

    • I still maintain that the actual checklist has always consisted of four points only:

      1) rich,
      2) statusy (by her hick standards),
      3) all his attentionz belong to her (by her needy narcissistic standards, so that means 24/7, in perpetuity throughout the draconian universe, and it needs to be manifested by thousands of fauxtos in which he picks her up to show all those BITCHES how tiny and cute and adored she is),
      4) very rich.

      IMO there has never ever been a point in time when she would say no to that. “Fantastic conversationalist” or “reads the New Yorker” (or whatever it was) or “parents still married” never really mattered. She’s never been able to score anything fulfilling these four points, though. Point 3 in particular is simply out of her league / the realm of possibility.

    • A refresher. Just how many requirements did the poorly educated, bald middle-aged DJ who was living in his sister’s basement until he met Donkey fulfill:

      1. Loves me unconditionally
      2. Kind / thoughtful / sweet / doting
      3. Brilliant
      4. Intellectual curiosity
      5. Well-read / loves reading / reads The Atlantic, Fast Company, WIRED
      6. Fascinating
      7. Creative
      8. Fantastic conversationalist
      9. Can talk with him for hours and not run out of things to say
      10. Handsome / tall / great body / will age well / full head of hair
      11. Morally sound / honest / ethical
      12. Dependable
      13. Strong & consistent emotionally
      14. Faithful / loyal
      15. Good family values
      16. Adventurous
      17. Fun!
      18. Hilarious / makes me laugh
      19. Understands me
      20. Great school / well-educated
      21. Fantastic, close-knit, smart friends
      22. Ambitious
      23. Entrepreneurial
      24. Generous
      25. Financially responsible
      26. Wonderful family / intact parental marriage
      27. Chemistry (physical, intellectual, and emotional)
      28. Wants to live in a warm climate (preferably Palo Alto)
      29. Makes me feel secure and loved
      30. Supports me emotionally
      31. Chivalrous / impeccable manners
      32. Preppy dresser
      33. Enjoys playing tennis, horseback riding, skiing, biking
      34. Would make a great dad and wants to have kids (would have beautiful, smart kids with me!)
      35. Beautiful writer and speaker
      36. Writes love letters
      37. Well-traveled / wants to travel with me (in style!)
      38. Spiritual / believes in God / has strong faith
      39. Does good for others
      40. Brings out the best in me / makes me a better person
      41. A true teammate and partner
      42. Has a close knit, fun, intelligent, interesting family who loves me
      43. Is within five years of my age
      44. Loves learning
      45. Romantic
      46. Always makes me feel special
      47. Pushes me to be my best self
      48. Can play piano or guitar brilliantly (or sing)
      49. Healthy
      50. Temperate and not into excessive drinking or irresponsible drug use
      51. Teaches me interesting things every day
      52. Inspiring
      53. Respectful
      54. Worldly
      55. Is ready to get married in the next two years
      56. Has a beautiful home / great eye for design
      57. Owns a fast, sexy car
      58. Confident
      59. Talented lover
      60. Balanced — values his work, friends, and hobbies (but I am top priority!)
      61. Connected
      62. Well-liked / beloved
      63. Loves animals — especially Lilly!
      64. 75% homebody, 25% enjoys swanky events
      65. Politically liberal / socially liberal
      66. Great photographer / likes taking photos
      67. Loves a good costume party!
      68. Joie de vivre
      69. First marriage (never been married or engaged before)
      70. Perceptive
      71. Will support me in whatever I want to do
      72. A good friend
      73. Dreams big — and makes those dreams a reality

      • The thing I always find so enraging/hysterical is that she herself lacks about 90% of the traits on the list, yet she somehow thinks she deserves a partner who possesses them.

      • What’s a “talented lover”, Donk? At this stage, your standards have become “washes his gentleman’s downstairs area at least once every few days, doesn’t currently have pubic lice”.

      • Let us leave aside for the moment the question of whether the idea of creating such a list, and the subsequent follow-through, are the products of a diseased mind. At the moment I am just disproportionally annoyed by how poorly written this stupid thing is. It bounces back and forth between adjectives and nouns and then random crap like ‘Joie de vivre’. Given the amount of time that she spent on this, it shouldn’t be this crappy.

        • ha ha ha I laugh hollowly. You weren’t here when she turned in a pile of steaming shit to Vogue (was it?) and she BRAGGED that it took SEVEN DRAFTS. I think the more she works on something the more bumpy and uneven it gets. She’s kind of like reverse sandpaper.

          • It was the NYT. A fluffy piece on Burning Man that she had to edit to leave out all her stinky woo and DJ friends before they’d print it. A piece she only got through connections. A paper she’ll never write for again. I can never remember the exact large number of revisions and months it took, or that she bragged about this fact as if it was a badge of honor.

          • Thank you, yes. The NYT online edition, because, like Elle, they knew not to waste a drop of ink on her writing.

        • That’s one of my favorite things about this, along with the high percentage of points that say more or less (usually more) the same thing in other words.

          1. Loves me unconditionally
          29. Makes me feel secure and loved
          30. Supports me emotionally
          45. Romantic
          46. Always makes me feel special
          71. Will support me in whatever I want to do

          40. Brings out the best in me / makes me a better person
          47. Pushes me to be my best self

          11. Morally sound / honest / ethical
          12. Dependable
          13. Strong & consistent emotionally
          14. Faithful / loyal
          39. Does good for others
          72. A good friend

          22. Ambitious
          23. Entrepreneurial
          73. Dreams big — and makes those dreams a reality

          • I just compared this list to my imaginary husband and he hits most of the non-superficial points but as I’m reading though it, it sounds EXHAUSTING, like who has time to read a love letter all the time or learn something new every day from their old man. I mean, sometimes you just want to lie on the couch and fart.

            Also in my experience the quality of the car is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dude driving it.

          • Right? Some days I’m so busy with work/life there would never be time for all those things.

          • Part II:

            1) Be open and creative and encourage me to be the same
            2) “Say YES” should be his mentality
            3) Protect my individuality, freedom, and autonomy
            4) Encourage personal growth and the full development of my authentic self
            5) Create a satisfying, experimental, open sex life (!)
            6) Dedicate our relationship to learning, growing, evolving, and contributing
            7) Be excited to work on creative projects together with me
            8) Create an unconventional life with me
            9) Experiments with everything
            10) Deeply intuitive
            11) Is a MAN
            12) Sexually delicious
            13) Loves fully
            14) Sees my mess and loves me for it

          • This is all “FIX ME!!!!” Nobody will ever live up to that. She’s advertising what a fucking mess she is and nobody will want to touch that.

            Also… a MAN? I thought she was bikissual?

          • Bisexual for all the boys, that is. So, is she planning to delete #5 now that she’s been burned by polyamory?

          • Ah, I had forgotten about what I call the “me, me, ME” addendum. Where almost half the added requirements start or end with ME!!

          • I like #7: “Be excited to work on creative projects together with me.”

            As opposed to together without me.

          • I very much prefer men whose mentality is “Say NO.” Sometimes that can be upgraded to “FUCK NO” and, subsequently, “FUCK OFF.”

      • Does anyone else have a problem with this “unconditional love” stuff? Does that really exist? Do you still love the person, several years into a relationship, when you suddenly discover they are a child porn addict? Or some other tragic, insurmountable scenario?

        Maybe “loves me in spite of my faults” is a better way of saying it. Of course, that would mean Donk would have to admit to having faults.

        • oh she admits it, see “Sees my mess and loves me for it.” It’s just that she thinks she’s awful cute and he should too! She’s so adorbs and any problems are his fault because he didn’t teach her and encourage her and help her grow.

        • It’s saying I want to act awfully as I want without any accountability. Sweetie, only your Daddy is willing to sign up for that ride.

        • Unconditional love for my kittens, sure, no matter what they might do. I would still hold them responsible for their choices, though; unconditional love and enabling are two really different things.

          I love my huscat dearly & have been with him forever. I have made my peace with a lot of his flaws (like I know he has with mine). I know by now that he’s terrible at remembering appointments, he’s never going to notice if there are holes in the seat of his trousers, he can’t be trusted to keep track of his own passport when we’re travelling, and he periodically does crazy shit like putting his eyeglasses in the freezer and then expecting me to find them.

          But if I ever found out he was involved in a child porn level of fuckery, that would be the end. Staying with someone like that isn’t ‘unconditional love’; it’s pathology.

      • Where is that terrific hit song Toilet Julia performed? Is Toilet Julia still a professional hit maker?

  7. This thing never gets old. This time around, I found this to be most laughable: “42. Has a close knit, fun, intelligent, interesting family who loves me.”

    • #66 makes me cry for the poor schlub who marries her. Can you imagine a life of constantly taking pictures of her,multiple costume and venue changes every day? Horrible!

      • Debbois actually liked that part. Careful what you wish for, Judy.

        Phuturephiphty seems to like photo shoots also.

    • The closest she ever got was divorced woo airhead plastic surgery victim and helicopter mother Momvocado.

    • #26 …Intact parental marriage.

      Did she amend this? I thought it used to say “Parents still married”. I’m sure we would have snarked on the wording of “intact parental marriage”. I might be wrong, but if I’m right I can’t get over the craziness of her changing the wording.

      I also love how the Me Me Me addendum talks about being evolved yet she never evolved enough to edit the original list to remove things that clearly demonstrated she was unevolved and as shallow and materialistic as ever e.g. ” drives a fast, sexy car”. Oh, Julia, never change.

    • I love that the family of her significant other has to be “interesting!” Like… you are so captivating and intellectual, bitch. Like she deserves interesting and smart inlaws!! So status-y. Can’t wait to see you circle the goddamn margin notes from novels your inlaws send you and post them so you feel smart by association just like you do from your dad.

  8. The thing is, you could have predicted this outcome the moment this relationship was revealed. Donkeys gonna donkey.

    • It’s her upper middle class suburban upbringing that keeps her tethered to the too, too conventional dream of a rich, handsome husband.

      She doesn’t have the hardscrabble early years that might’ve made her a scrappy fighter, and she doesn’t have the upper class breeding that would’ve made her look precious and twee while dabbling in this woo shit

  9. I looked up something on RBD yesterday, and somehow rabbit-holed a post from, I believe, March 2014, when she last appeared on a SXSW panel to a meager crowd of 20, with a cat lady present. The subject: whether social media enabled people to cheat easier. Donkey talked about poly with a completely different perspective then, she was all positive about it giving couples options and freeing them up. Oh what difference a little actual experience makes.

    This timing was funny too: 1 month post-Derpin breakup, and likely overlapping Avocado, whom she’d met in Costa Rica on her “dark side of the soul” trip to Envision festival. The one where she stayed at an expensive villa with Bear Kittay and his new GF, and posed with all kinds of dudes picking her up. The one she got invited to on the founder’s dinner night, aka Healing Chef’s swan song, and the evening of the hilarious Donkey fire-eating strokeface picture that Handbag uses for her avatar.

    How much she’s grown since then. Right? Hahaha.

    • Indeed. And let’s not forget all of this was several years after she and Seňor Yack had to part ways because he and the military (that he wasn’t even sure he wanted to stay in) were not as much into starting a family as she was.

    • I’ve long suspected Donk was trying to elbow her way into some sort of a relationship with Bear. She was clearly envious of the Kittys’ travel and lifestyle. It seemed she found herself an “in” with poly, hoping for an oops! pregnancy, maybe? There’s always an angle, isn’t there?

      I thought Avocado was such an absurd choice for her (so far beneath her standards, ha!) that the only explanation for that relationship was to socialize as a couple for some plausible deniability. A single woman cozying up would seem more suspicious than a couple. Like she wouldn’t try to shank a bitch and take her man…

      • Donkey may have had a chance with Beargent Pepper if he hadn’t fallen for Kitty. His choices before her weren’t much better than A Donkey. She seemed to be trying hard to land him for a while.

        Avocado was IMO kind of a rebound guy for her, and she was probably enticed by his rich parents, his mom’s Hawaii house, and the fact that he was a musician (of sorts), something she seemed pretty obsessed with for a while. It’s even in her checklist. He also seems like kind of an unconditional love type, somewhat simple and vacuous like his mom. He introduced her to festivals and she thought he’d be obsessed with her and take her everywhere he performed. Except he didn’t. Oops. Never forget the carefully engineered yet unwelcome food truck breakfast surprise in New Orleans.

        • The New Orleans surprise stalking was so fucking psycho. Does this bitch have any boundaries? Her interpersonal relations are always so stunted and gimmicky. Like, if you’re dating someone and they have to travel for work/pleasure/laptop twiddling, they either ask you to go along or they don’t.

          Ambushing a guy when he thinks you’re 2,000 miles away? Clingy, obnoxious, and NOT CUTE. She is just so weird.

          • Don’t forget: she bailed on family celebrating L’il Bro B’s big graduation … so pathetic; so shades of bailing on her Gpa’s memorial service to attend a cosplay event in case she coincidentally crossed paths w/ [REDACTED].

            And the follow-up stalking after, of the AI singer he’d performed w/ … so pathetic; so ever Donkey.

  10. Hey, kittens, I’ve wanted to comment and add a new post, but my laptop crashed two days ago and my RBD info is in there. A friend who heads the IT dept. in our local school district thinks she can get the thing up and running by tonight. Please keep your fingers crossed!

  11. Once upon a time you dressed so fine
    Threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you?
    People call say ‘beware doll, you’re bound to fall’
    You thought they were all kidding you
    You used to laugh about
    Everybody that was hanging out
    Now you don’t talk so loud
    Now you don’t seem so proud
    About having to be scrounging your next meal
    How does it feel, how does it feel?
    To be without a home
    Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone
    Ahh you’ve gone to the finest schools, alright Miss Lonely
    But you know you only used to get juiced in it
    Nobody’s ever taught you how to live out on the street
    And now you’re gonna have to get used to it
    You say you never compromise
    With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
    He’s not selling any alibis
    As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
    And say do you want to make a deal?
    How does it feel, how does it feel?
    To be on your own, with no direction home
    A complete unknown, like a rolling stone
    Ah you never turned around to see the frowns
    On the jugglers and the clowns when they all did tricks for you
    You never understood that it ain’t no good
    You shouldn’t let other people get your kicks for you
    You used to ride on a chrome horse with your diplomat
    Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
    Ain’t it hard when you discovered that
    He really wasn’t where it’s at
    After he took from you everything he could steal
    How does it feel, how does it feel?
    To have on your own, with no direction home
    Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone
    Ahh princess on a steeple and all the pretty people
    They’re all drinking, thinking that they’ve got it made
    Exchanging all precious gifts
    But you better take your diamond ring, you better pawn it babe
    You used to be so amused
    At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
    Go to him he calls you, you can’t refuse
    When you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose
    You’re invisible now, you’ve got no secrets to conceal
    How does it feel, ah how does it feel?
    To be on your own, with no direction home
    Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone

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