Slumming With The Skanks: Fivehead, Skankatron & Donkey

Insurance scammer Jena “Fivehead” la Flamme has been injured again! Anybody know a good attorney?

Lookin’ good, La Fraud! That fauxto must have indeed been snapped before your multitude of injuries.

Over in Jordan, Ali “Skankatron” Shanti discovered she could have a good time and transform to the next level despite her extreme money dysmorphia:

I swear to god I thought the old raunch was going to launch into one of her hard sells once I saw the word “dysmorphia.” A miracle in Jordan!

Meanwhile, in Novato, Julia Allison confronted the horror of gun violence in America. If she’d chosen another sliding door, she could have been Obama’s speechwriter:

Judy also left a note for Noodles Moodley:

But just a peck, Noodles. Only Judy’s allowed to French kiss her non-lesbian lesbian lover!


    • The smart money is on her dance instructor. But until La Fraud gets that big settlement, would you mind lending her some crutches so she can at least look the part?

  1. I’m confused. Why doesn’t she just go to the doctor and get crutches? Doesn’t she have insurance? I thought it was the law that everyone had to have insurance. LaFlimFlam ought to be able to see a doctor, no?

    • I highly doubt she has insurance. Surely Jena’s former lover-in-law, Patricia Ellsberg, would be happy to pay her medical bill?

    • I was just going to ask…. I mean, one hears all sorts of things about healthcare in the US but I was pretty sure people with leg and foot injuries can get crutches.

      • Yes you can buy them over the counter or even just rent them, or a wheelchair. BUT not if you’re a scammy scammer who is fakely scamming!

  2. Just a guess to see a doctor for what she is not injured. A real Dr would not give her crutches. She is a balding scammer who is stupid to think people believe her except of course her zombie dumbass followers.

    Noodles poodles and donkey what can I say both are messes ?

    • Surely she could find some woo quack who would give her crutches along with a month’s supply of hallucinogens?

      • She certainly knows enough “healers” and “shamans.” Perhaps a double dose of cacao we’ll fix her foot. Or feather medicine.

  3. With softness, Gilly– you have accidentally [yet correctly] hyphenated your moniker, and we all know that Donk doesn’t know how to punctuate. Lack of hyphens is her worst offense.

  4. That sign Noodles posted was part of the set decoration at the Summit Series conference over the weekend (saw a few industry people I know posting pics of it as well). Has anyone ever confirmed that Julia has been blackballed from attending Summit again after the cruise ship trip? I’ve heard rumors but have never been able to verify.

    • What were those rumors again? Wasn’t Julia recently sucking up to Tony Roberts’s son about teaching or some such thing at Summit at Sea?

  5. What the hell what she do or have anything to contribute although pondering why poodles is there other than babysitting her man from frockling with women. Summit of sexually transmitted diseases.

  6. Fivehead-Insurance covers crutches…oh wait.
    Scammer-She’s miserable and lonely to the likes of which travel can’t even remedy.
    Donkey-The people who should be on the end of gun violence never are.

          • I don’t think there’s a ring of hell deep enough to send that guy to.

          • See, I originally took it as her lamenting that Donk was still among us; now I realize it’s a judge, jury & executioner mentality. ::sigh emoticon::

          • I was thinking about the never ending list of Hollywood abusers being outted (good thing), all those that will never be outted because 99% of us aren’t famous and then thinking about how sad these guns always seem to miss the ones who are the most deserving of being hit.

            Donkey is an idiot but I do not wish that on her.

          • The Kevin Spacey hate gives me an ill feeling. Stacey ≠ Weinstein
            Weinstein, like Cosby, has been accused of rape by multiple women. Coercion, sexual harassment, you name it. Spacey’s been accused of making sexual advances toward men.

            Moreover, we do not have the death penalty for rape. Since Kennedy v. Louisiana, the death penalty is reserved only for murder, as it is disproportionate for any offense that does not involve death of the victim. Similarly, we are not legally permitted to protect property with deadly force, only our lives and those of our loved ones.

            The rule is proportionality. Thus, lumping Spacey in with serial rapists suggests to me his life is less valuable than others. That like minorities, he can do far less and receive stiffer penalties. Whereas, a straight man can do far more without notice, but “you gay, hands to yourself, or we’ll throw you off a building.”

            What’s galling is that his show was cancelled within two days of him being accused of making a pass at someone. But, Cosby and Weinstein get to rape women for decades without consequences. And the allegations included no criminal or civil charges, no settlements, no sexual harassment of a subordinate. Just an allegation.

            Meantime, the DA in L.A. is contemplating charges of violent rape and sodomy of four women by Danny Masterson. The police investigation is complete and officers have stated there is overwhelming evidence. But, Netflix renews his show after those cases have been made public?! I’m sorry. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Masterson’s show is relatively new, in its second season, and unheard of. But, Spacey’s show is award-winnings, arguably Netflix most successful to date and in its sixth season. It’s f*cked up.

            I’m not excusing Spacey. But the condemnation of a gay man hitting on another man, especially in a bar, needs some perspective. That does not equate to decades of abuse of power, sexual coercion and rape. FFS.

          • Interesting perspective & thoughtful post, CI@D.

            RE: deadly force & property though, allow me to remind you of the Castle doctrine.

            Maybe I’m alone here, but cavalier comments re: deadly gun use to right wrongs, perceived or real, just goes all over me– normalizing that bs line of thought is why we’re where we are today. IMO, anyway.


          • CI@D, I love your posts and totally agree.

            As a long time blind item reader, I know with the certainty of a tarot spread that Spacey has done far worse than just make advances. He’s supposedly a completely shit person. I agree that the hammer fell far more heavily on him than Weinstein or Danny Masterson.

          • If you think Netflix flippantly cut Spacey loose because of *one* complaint you’re sadly mistaken and I’ll chalk that up to being naive and not that you’re a predator apologist. It has *nothing* to do with him being gay and everything to do with his being a predator.
            I wasn’t suggesting capital punishment, which anyone over the age of 12 knows is reserved for murderers, anymore than I was suggesting I would ever kill anyone. It was a comment about people who should catch a bullet never do over the innocent people that all too often do. If you at all researched Spacey you’d know he’s ever bit as much a monster as Weinstein with as long of a history of sexually abusing people. He’s even been linked to children like Polanski (also not gay).
            I agree that Netflix has a problem where they support predators from Kevin Spacey to Danny Masterson to most recently Ed Westwick and they’ve paid for a Chris Brown documentary-which is disgusting. Only one of the four mentioned affiliated with Netflix are gay but your position CI to make this about anything other that what it is, predatory behavior is incorrect.

          • Curling Irons, with softness, Spacey wasn’t accused of hitting on another man. He was accused of assaulting a BOY.

            I do agree with you about Masterson/Netflix!

            And for Winchester: people accused of crimes do not “deserve” to be hit with a bullet any more than innocent people deserve this. I hope you mean this figuratively.

          • More than one boy, too, apparently. As well as harassing other men with unwanted groping assaults. He was another example of a poorly kept Hollywood secret.

            The issue is definitely not homosexuality or heterosexuality. It is predation by older powerful people on vulnerable younger people looking for mentors, and sometimes those younger people have been under age.

          • Okay, just read Spacey has been accused of attempted rape and sexual assault of a teenager. So, he’s apparently much worse than I’d previously read. Please, disregard the above. Nothing to see here.

          • I just read Charlie Sheen raped Corey Haim and has a history of looking at underage gay porn. Have we entered an alternate universe?

          • That’s who Corey Feldman has been alluding to all these years but would never name because Haim didn’t want him to?! I guess there’s also an Illuminati and Trump is probably the anti-Christ. It’s time to reevaluate my whole life if my conspiracy-loving parents were right about everything. I suppose the pharmaceutical industry has a cure for cancer, too, that they’re hiding to profit from treatment, and the MMR does cause autism. And I thought the CDC screwing with the parameters of the research was hard to believe.

  7. Wow I hope I can pick up the lingo..I randomly drunk messaged her on her facebook page and it was rather interesting. This website reminds me of my Borderline sister-in-law.

  8. Jean Gray! I love the sharing economy, especially when it comes to personal medical equipment like crutches imbued with armpit and palm sweat from a previous user. We all are brothers and sisters exchanging our precious fluids in the sacred amniotic sac that is our PachaMama, after all. Would be willing to trade you my slightly aromatic ambulatory assistance devises for a gently-used Lotus Pad. Aho!

  9. I swear to Greg, Ali is the most failing at life person. Cool, you’re going to Jordan, that sounds fucking awesome! I’m pretty sure that every single traveller who has ever travelled has had mixed feelings about it. Nah, I want to stay home and not deal with airports etc. Gosh these tickets cost a lot. THESE ARE NOT GROUNDBREAKING REVELATIONS, ALI. You’re not the specialest woo. Get over yourself and don’t sell your daughter to a yacht.

    • Even when Ali is faced with something joyous, she keeps right on whining and whining and whining. I don’t know how anybody could stand being around her for more than five minutes, much less fuck her.

      • Can you imagine deciding if you should go visit your daughter, who is currently staying in a foreign country, and having this thought “I want to travel with a romantic partner, my mind said.” What?!
        I’m sure that made her daughter feel awesome.

        • This. Apart from what it says about her relation to her daughter, the bitch is 58 years old, runs multiple million-dollars businesses, is the most enlightened person you’d ever meet, and she is and just getting acquainted with the notion of travelling without a “romantic partner?” I see.

          • And I read it as “I don’t have a romantic partner. But if I could find someone, I’d rather travel with them.” or “What if I find a romantic partner to travel with but I already spent my money traveling with my daughter?”
            She’s the worst of all of them.

          • She is the worst of the woos and I’m astounded by the number of enablers who respond to her incessant navel-gazing.

            Skankatron just posted some endless nonsense about how she is constantly terrified and must learn to re-member, not only to remember. Christ, doesn’t she ever get tired of engaging in psychobabble? She also posted about narcissism but it’s nothing but a shill for a fellow woo asshat.

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        • I think she hinted a while back that she was in love again and would reveal with whom at some future date.

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