Updated! That Wacky Woo-Tard Clan: Jaahass Does Bali, Jean Gray & Swiss Mister Make a Political Statement, Fozzie Goes Alt-Right, Donkey Turns Philosopher, And Dead Russian Hooker #2 Takes Off Her Clothes (Again)


Jess Johnson, AKA The Caterwauler, apparently joined Donkey and Dead Russian Hooker #2 in Bali. Decipher this mess:

Did someone actually die or has Jaahass been dipping into Rain’s 5-MeO-DMT stash?

Even more worrisome, Jena la Flamme and Sacha “very good looking in person” Nielsen attempted to make a political statement:

No matter. The former Jean Gray was soon back to doing what she does best, posting numerous fauxtos of the beloveds in ridiculous costumes.

Speaking of Burning Man, did Fozzie’s latest sugar mamma dump him? Mr. “I Want a Free Lunch” Jacobs has been posting links to The Flame:

You blew it again, Fozzie! How do you expect to get that luxury auto?

Update: It appears Judy, Jaahass, and Ariel White followed pint-sized pimp daddy Ryan Allis to Bali. Are they on the Hive payroll?

Donk is now quoting Kierkegaard on Instagram. (She read him in high school.)

Is this why BOOK was never finished? Donk was too afraid of becoming a mainstream success? Only one person responded to Judy’s 852,369th pilfered Deep Thought:

Judy and the girls have now followed pimp daddy Ryan to Botswana, looking for “intentional communities,” presumably so they can make their own. Is this vacation from Vacation-itis going to have a Lord of the Flies ending?

Must Ariel, AKA Dead Russian Hooker #2, flash her yoni on a daily basis? Someone buy this wackjob exhibitionist a coobie and a pair of panties!


  1. OMG we need the expanded comments! What did he say??? I knew he’d blow it, she was way too pretty for him. HAHAHA. Who will buy you a BRAND NEW CAR now Michael? Better drown your sorrows by trading BJs for tattoos.

    • Another woman who doesn’t value men enough to buy them luxury automobiles! Fozzie took his marbles and went home.

      Meagan Steele
      Feminism is not the same as misandry I thought you were enlightened ?

      Michael Jacobs
      I’m definitely not “enlightened” and although I didn’t make this video nor do I know the woman who made it, I believe that misandy is what she is speaking on.

      Meagan Steele
      She’s calling it feminism. They aren’t the same thing.
      Men need feminism just as much as women. It benefits everyone…
      Misandry does not

      Michael Jacobs
      Like I said, I do not know the woman that made this video, nor did I make it, so I can not speak on her use of the word or her personal definition of the word.

      Meagan Steele
      But you share it and in so support it. ?

      Michael Jacobs
      I believe her message is on point and, from what I observed in the video, her definition of feminism borderlines the same definition of misandry you speak of. I, personally, am not caught up on the use of words, but rather the whole content of the video, which I find inspiring and on point.

      Meagan Steele
      She’s “inspired” by the patriarchy reinforcement of the idea that men have to be “strong”
      The whole reason men can’t like flowers or cry or by emotional because they need to suck it up and be strong ?

      Meagan Steele
      Or report when they’ve been raped.
      Or come out as gay.
      Or report domestic violence.

      Michael Jacobs
      I believe she is referring to a different definition of strong than the current societal standard that you are describing.

      Meagan Steele
      From a conservative sight? Uh yeah sure

      Michael Jacobs
      I’m not sure what you are referring to, nor do you seem open to my opinion or perspective on why I posted this video, so doesn’t seem like there is a reason to continue this back and forth. Good day to you ?

      My favorite part: Le Roi de Burger is not “caught up” in the words but is more interested in the overall content. What the fuck does he think creates content? He’s such an idiot.

      • He’s a perfect candidate for the alt-right, because he’s as stupid as a Jedi necklace, revels in his ignorance, and hates women. We’ll know for certain when the anti-semitism rears its head.

      • Team Meagan Steele. I doubt Fozzie even knows the true definition of misandry or feminism. Though spending time with Shantitown certainly taught him the definition of emasculation.

        • He’s still dealing with serious anger issues surrounding Shantitown. See Colby Collins and Pamela Madsen.

      • My favourite part is his parting shot: “Good day to you ?”

        In my house, “I said, Good day!”, which we got from a joke in an early 30 Rock episode, is one of our standard responses.

        • I didn’t see the 30 ROCK episode you describe but “I said, good day!” has been rattling around in my head since this morning. Where did I hear this? BINGO! The line is part of Dustin Hoffman’s Dorothy Michaels audition in TOOTSIE.

          • I remember it from Willy Wonka the most which is odd since I’ve viewed 30 Rock at least 30 more times than Willy Wonka.

      • Well shit he blew it again. Fozzie, pro tip: Women are looking for a life partner with the qualities “can have a discussion”. Nobody wants to hitch their wagon to someone who, when the going gets tough, gets nitpicky about definitions and accusatory when cornered.

        whadda fookin moroon. Team Meagan, she’s made of PURE STEELE.

        • Holy merde, he’s stupid:

          Lyns Chediak
          Feminism is simply equality for both genders — not holding one over the other (as currently exists with men predominantly holding both tangible, financial capital power and social power in the historicized, patriarchal/nuclear family structure). If this conception of a “strong man” can handle similarly-minded “strong woman”, that would be fine, but that’s not what she’s implying — and that’s the fundamental problem and the reason for the feminist movement. I’m really surprised you’re falling ploy to such a simplistic, single-minded view of the multiple types of intersecting oppressions that exist in the US.

          Michael Jacobs
          You may not see what I see in this video or agree with the video itself, but that is no reason to use shame to try and get your point across.

          And because you have one experience does not mean that everyone else has the same experience or feels the same way. Nor does it make your experience more valid than another person’s.

          Is Little Boy Blue still angry at those sugar mammas who wouldn’t wipe his ass for him?

          • Wow, stupider and stupider. I think he’s confusing “shame” with “multi-syllable words”.

            Somebody reset his BIOS, he’s fritzing out!

          • false & misuse of *shame* is the abusive person’s new shield to avoid accountability & truth.

          • “I don’t really know what feminism means and I’m too lazy even to try to debate you from some kind of moral equivalence angle, so I’ll just go with the classic ‘duh, we’re both right, mmkay’?”

  2. So, whatever disease Jules has that makes it impossible for her to keep her tongue in her mouth is communicable?

  3. Could some kind soul explain to me the political statement that La Balm and the Very Good Looking In Person One are making up there? Satire? Regrettably, I’m not enlightened enough to get it.

    • See, Mexico is this funny imaginary place where you can go and get drunk on Spring Break. And Burning Man is this funny imaginary place where you go to the desert to experience dehydration and oppressive (not in the political sense) heat. Then we here in the US, you might not get this, have this funny fake orange president who lies a lot. So anyway you mix all that together and add a dash of poorly-understood outrage gleaned from facebook posts by people smarter than you and VOILA you can select a “protest” pose that shows off your abs (which are the most important part of you because how else will anyone know how enlightened and paradigm-shifting you are).

      I mean GAWD Helena, do you even satire???

  4. Can we talk about that Kierkegaard quote because it’s super dumb. I know, famous philosopher and stuff but… really? Afraid with?

    And, are we really that terrified of our potential? Is that why I don’t want an iPhone X? Because it can just DO so MUCH? (spoiler: nah).

    • That’s a translation thing, but what is far more egregious about JABA in particular employing this as a meme is that’s it’s from Kierkegaard’s “The Concept of Anxiety,” which is a profound book about the “objectless” of anxiety vs that of fear. Fear is connected to danger, but anxiety to freedom. When we are free to determine, we are free to be indeterminate — most horrifyingly, from Kierkegaard’s point of view — about good and evil, which causes an anxiety so great the psyche nearly departs the body.

      • Wow I just learned a lot and look for JABA to paraphrase your words incorrectly while taking credit for the explanation. She won’ be able to help herself.

          • I life coach!
            1) Don’t be an asshole.
            2) Listen. Really listen, don’t blab over people.
            3) Expect the same from other people.
            4) Anxiety is a side effect of humans being evolved enough to plan for stuff. If you have the ability to plan for stuff, and have time on your hands to not have to scratch around for food and shelter while not being attacked; you’re going to be anxious about the future.
            5) Cocoa, er sorry cacao, is served at the back. It’s in my garage, there’ll probably be native brown people around for authenticity if you want me to wake the neighbours.
            6) If you want to get genuinely high we have great weed but there’ll be no posing for photo opportunities.
            7) Paypal me $60 now and all this could be yours!

    • Instead, she should have posted this, from his journals of 1836, “I have just now come from a party where I was its life and soul; witticisms streamed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me, but I went away — yes, the dash should be as long as the radius of the earth’s orbit ——————————— and wanted to shoot myself.”

    • Say what? Wtf? Seriously Jaas you lack competence, empathy, vision, leadership and integrity. You Go to one place and another in perpetual finding yourself. So empty Mexico is in crisis so you go to Bali because reality is neither noodles poodles or anyone of you hags have skills and human decency to help others. You runaway and pretend you hear or see no human need you stupid ugly ass bitches that includes scammer la fraud as well. Slap ?? to each one of you where is your human kindness you old bitty? You look horrible that camera see through you and see what I see ugliness, desperation and need for attention and validation.
      You and the woos have been read.

      • The only real emotion any of these people have is narcissistic rage. With all of their self-actualising travel, do they ever actually engage with people? Besides the occasional “namaste” to people who are paid to clean their rooms or sell them tourist doohickeys?

        This crowd doesn’t seem to engage even to the point of taking quick hover-hand photos with the locals then stomping off wiping themselves.

        Pro tip to overprivileged jetsetting narcissists on voyages of self-discovery: at least take a Polaroid camera with you, and take the occasional goddamn picture of a native family and give it to them. I know you won’t be able to use it for social media validation, but it means a lot to a family who otherwise wouldn’t have a portrait of themselves.

    • Pyroclastic flows at 1000º C racing down the mountain at jet speed and incinerating homes and crops are a state of mind. Thank you for pointing this out.

  5. Frederick Wiseman is one of my favorite filmmakers. His last documentary, IN JACKSON HEIGHTS, is fascinating fare, examining the conflict between tradition and innovation in the Queens community. I became very excited about Wiseman’s new film, EX LIBRIS, when reading a glowing review in the Times:


    And then I remembered this moment of horror!


  6. Gotta hand it to Donkey, she sure knows how to grift her way around the world while having no real job or talent whatsoever.

  7. Holy God, I guess she’s found her (intellectually stunted, narcissistic, complete waste of oxygen) “tribe” at last.

    There is nothing our Judy likes more than treating her useless friends to travel on someone else’s dime. Can I get a witness? Charming Divorced Rowbear?

  8. Skankatron is looking more and more like Carol Burnett’s old homeless woman. She’s been posting lots of FB LIVE videos, always in a bedraggled state and seemingly higher than a kite. I watched five minutes of the following oddity, in which she talks on and on about a big announcement but rather than tell us what it is, she asks about her guest’s emotional state! It’s so bizarre, and he doesn’t know whether to call her Ali or Alexis. It turns out the big event is that Boulder’s Integral Center is losing their lease and being shut down. I say, fewer woos make this world a better place!


    • She looks stiff, creaky and hunched over. She should probably give the Bikram yoga and tantric sex a break and try some Pilates. Or just try not sticking her head up her own arse for a bit.

      • Replying to self because red wine and I’m channeling my lovely bitchy old Nanna watching AbFab with me right now: False eyelashes, big headscarf, big dangly earrings, neck scarf, necklace, bangles. Pick 2 out of the 6, dear.

    • Is this Integral Center linked to Gafni’s Center for Integral Wisdom? Ali said the dude who’s going to need a Silkwood shower after this, was the co-founder but never stated who the other co-founder was.

  9. What a tragic farce it is: Julia is traveling the world on her parents’ dime to create “intentional communities” because all the communities that already exist want nothing to do with her.

  10. Askank.ho is in sub-Saharan Africa? We’ve got enough privileged white first-world naked stankbeavers and giant areolae jetting in and out of here already. Leave us alone!

  11. Is Magic Jess Johnson wearing a fanny pack on her head? Detachable beehive? Zippable fascinator? Genuinely curious.

  12. Fozzie just crowdsourced for nearby sweat lodge ceremonies. Maybe Donkey can put him in touch with Hot Foot Lurch?

  13. Remember Skankatron’s frantic emails – up to four in one day – in which she was begging folks to enroll in LIFT at a rock bottom price that would end at five pm and never be offered again? Look at what’s been popping up in my inbox in the last couple of days:

    “We had a close out sales last week and frankly had so much demand from people who missed it, and who took the 20-point LIFT Assessment and saw they needed LIFT, that we opened up an encore Monday and Tuesday only to get LIFT in your business at the full monty $1,000 discounted investment.

    We did not send out the regular courtesy reminder, with the proper subject line, that the sale would end in 4 hours, like we usually do, so we decided to honor that best practice and give you a final, final courtesy notice that the $497 offer (normally $1,497) of LIFT will go away, entirely at 4pm PST.

    Take a moment, right now, to ask yourself, is this extension meant for you? We have a sense that there are a handful more of you out there who are ripe to receive the game-changing benefits LIFT Foundation Systems & Toolkit offer.

    So, if you’ve been thinking about taking advantage of this huge savings, right now is the time to take action.

    Enroll in the LIFT Foundation System right now for $497 and save $1,000.

    This $1,000 discounted investment ends today and will revert back to our standard price of $1,497 at 4pm PST.”

    Is Ali/Alexis having trouble paying the electric bill? What a skank!


    • It’s PDT, not PST, idiot Shanti. I guess you’ll have to write another post correcting that now and ‘extending your offer’ as a ‘best practice’ for this week’s mistake.

    • This is just unbelievable. How is she not embarrassed out of her feathered skull? *I/ need a solid dose of canklehausen ointment.

      Redundant P.S.: Still no word on what “LIFT” actually IS, I take it.

      • I just assumed LIFT meant to take someone’s wallet to pay her? No?

        • HA HA HA! I’m still vague about what LIFT YOUR WALLET actually provides the buyer. I think it’s some guide to managing your own business. Ali, take it away!

          If you are in business for yourself, you likely know you need to get the right systems in place to smooth out so very many things, but you are not sure exactly where to start, so you just keep figuring it out as you go and are realizing you’ve started to make expensive mistakes (or you will soon).

          That’s why I created the LIFT Foundation System + Toolkit. I made all the expensive mistakes and I wanted to save everyone else the pain and heartache that I went through learning.

          If you are interested, don’t put this email aside and wait to read it later because tonight is the last night to get LIFT for as little as $497. It’s a ridiculously low investment and here’s why I’m doing it …

          I stopped selling LIFT for the past two years because I needed to circle back and apply it to my own life and business, at another level of intentionality to breakthrough a stuck point I had gotten to repeatedly — a company making great money, but ultimately dependent on me to the point where I couldn’t engage in the next level of my personal growth and leadership.

          It was time for me to slow down, to go faster. And that meant another level of legal, insurance, financial and tax systems to support the next level.

          You see, LIFT is something you need when you are just starting out, and at each stage of business development – your first client, hiring your first team member, expanding your team, dealing with your first customer complaint, hitting 6-figures, going from 6-to-7 figures, bringing on a partner, getting more robust financial systems in place to make wise decisions about growth …

          And, after applying LIFT again for my most recent expansion, I’ve now built a sustainable $2.2M revenue with a 20-person team that I’m leading with confidence. I’m relaxing into seeing my work supported and it’s making space for me to expand personally, again.
          Then, a few weeks ago, a couple of things happened:

          1. Out of the blue, Laura Hollick, master creatrix entrepreneur of the highest order, purchased the LIFT Foundation System (at full price) and when I called her up to see what prompted her investment, she reminded me that LIFT is critical to the uplevel, regardless of where you are in your business. And, she’s ready for her next level.

          2. Then, several of my friends in different businesses contacted me right before the 1st of the month and told me they were not going to make their rent or payroll or something that they should have found out and been prepared for (with space to bring their creative minds to the issue) well before 3 days before the bills are due.

          And I realized that no longer happens in my life or business and it’s because of the financial systems I’ve put in place that make sure I’m always able to see what’s going on in my life/business at least 60 days into the future. It’s like having a crystal ball, really.

          3. Finally, I began working on my end of year tax projections and remembered that now is the time for you to start planning for your taxes too. Yes, now. But, you likely don’t have the awareness, guidance or support to do that.

          All of that led me to say, okay Universe, I’m ready. I’ll start teaching about LIFT again.

          Then, the icing on the cake, a guy I’ve wanted to work with for years became available and wanted to “husband” the re-launch. What, what?!?

          So I couldn’t deny it. Now was the time, and if you’ve watched any of the videos and interviews this last week, you’ve gotten to be the beneficiary of all of this creative and spirit-led inspiration to bring LIFT back out into the world.

          What you may not know is that we decided to hold a 5-day sale on LIFT to jumpstart the upgrades that are coming in 2018, all of which will be based on what I discovered during this most recent personal and business leadership upgrade.

          And that we discounted LIFT down to the lowest investment it’s ever been and made it even better including match-making you with the lawyers I’ve spent the past two years training.

          Plus, we decided to re-open our Eyes Wide Open private membership forum so I can support you to implement LIFT in your life and business for the rest of this year, no extra charge, which will help you to implement LIFT and help me to get geared up for the 2018 upgrade (which you will get for free when you enroll in LIFT now).

          All this to say, now is the time for you to enroll in LIFT. It’s only $497 and it will save you waaaaayyyyyyy more than that in legal fees, insurance costs, financial clarity, and tax savings. PLUS, it will make you money when you feel so confident about your business that everyone wants to work with you.

          And, it’s only $497. Isn’t confidence in your business worth that?

          If you haven’t clicked the link to buy yet and you are still here reading this email, I really have to know why. Hit reply and let me know because I want to know what’s in your way, truly. Or, forget that and just get enrolled in LIFT, come on over into the private Eyes Wide Open member’s forum and let’s start getting your business systems straightened out.

          You can even have a team member (or one of our trained lawyers) do it for you. And, you’ll use it the rest of your business life. Seriously …

          Stop waiting and LIFT your life and business now.


          OK, I’m still not really sure what the hell LIFT is. Never mind.

          • “Because this program is so popular we dropped the price by two thirds!”

            Either someone is lying or someone is terrible at business. Or maybe both!

          • My favorite bit of woo horseshit was Ali’s claim that LIFT was tho thuckthethful, it was stunting her personal growth, so she had to stop shilling that particular scam for a couple of years. BWA HA HA!

          • How does she not define LIFT? How does she not provide real world examples in the current marketplace, that either support her program or examples of why something is the opposite of LIFT and not working? Ohhh because she really doesn’t understanding marketing and only understands self-promotion.

          • I call bullshit: “Out of the blue, Laura Hollick, master creatrix entrepreneur of the highest order, purchased the LIFT Foundation System (at full price) … ” Hollick, a fucking nutcase and grifter, is always showing up on Shanti’s site. CONTENT WARNING! Here’s the master creatrix’s latest creation:


            I am a woman. I bleed. I carry a wild power in my womb. I shed like a snake slithering through the wilderness, wild and free.

            My yoni is my sacred space to feel my fierce fertility, courageous creativity, and passionate pleasure.

            My blood leaves an imprint like a soul signature, proud of its presence.

            This yoni portrait is for my sisters, the women of the world ready to own their power. This yoni portrait is for my brothers, the men of the world ready to see a woman in her fullness. This yoni portrait is for me to see myself as I am.

            This moment was photographed by Kevin Thom.We left it raw and real, un-retouched, you can still see the edge of the backdrop on set. Have a look and see things as they are.

            If you want to explore further, and dive deeper into the power of yoni for yourself, check out my free quiz:

            What is your Yoni Personality Type?

          • As much as I dislike the woos, it’s kind of neat to see women celebrating their yonis the way most men celebrate their dicks. They’re still all a bunch of assclowns, but at least it’s equal opportunity assclowning.

          • OK, but I wouldn’t call rubbing menstrual blood all over one’s face a “celebration” of the yoni. God, I hate that stupid woo term.

        • Also LIFT Foundation System sounds like a bra. Is she shilling Coobies now?

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