Judy, Hast Thou Forsaken Us?

Is it time to reboot? Because if you’re not FB friends with Donkey, all that’s left are three polls:

If you’re a friend of a friend(s), the posts loop back to a few entries from 2013-2015, then back to Mess Despised (of course) and the Melmans, then to her first sisters:

Never forget, Judy: we’re the only ones who’ve stuck with you through thin and thinner. We are your true BFF’s and RBD is your real home!


  1. Good for her. For about a decade now, she’s been piloting an experiment on how to make your life a reality show worth watching. But it’s been clear since Miss Advised that this experiment was a total and utter failure for her on a personal level. I hope she keeps her life under wraps from here on out. I’m ready to turn off the TV.

    • Isn’t she about to launch a website & bidness that draws on her “celebrity”? I doubt she’s retiring to Scottsdale.

    • Something happened and I guarantee it had something to do with meal ticket Petey.

      • Maybe the court ordered it? Or a term in negotiation (regarding Airbnb)? I agree this has to be forced accountability, no way she did this clean up on her own.

        • Or, maybe one of the people she sucks up to right now, one of the HBS people like Ryan, or someone else who she wants to impress, told her she has an issue with her public identity and therefore doesn’t want to work with her and risk tarnishing his or her brand.

          Whatever it is, it is financial and-status related. Up until now, I think she was under the impression that she could come back and be on television or have a higher profile. But I think somehow she finally is hitting the learn button, whether that was instigated by her father (likely) or one of her prospective or existing “many consulting clients.”

          It’s been a whole year since she was evicted from her San Francisco apartment. I can see her dad offering to subsidize her for another year from that point. But I strongly suspect now he is ratcheting down the support so she can try standing on her own feet for once in her life. She can’t keep coasting on what she did between 2006 and 2012, since she’s done othing of any significance since then. Any legit businessperson looking to hire would realize she’s all talk and no action. She can’t count on landing a rich spouse any more, when she can’t even land a wannabe line cook or an aging playboy DJ hitting the dirt festival circuit. Time to grow up, Judy.

          • Agree, but she’ll be back. Her early adult life is just a slew of stolen, schemed, and/or undeserved opportunities, and she’s finding those harder to come by with aging looks, a swiss cheese resume and no real skills. I’m guessing she’s getting desperate and is nastier than ever when she smells status or money. I sense a new iteration coming on! Maybe “business consultant Julia”?

          • Yeah, I think she was counting on Levi Felix and Camp Grounded, and then he died. She is likely still hitting up Hive as Ryan drools,over her, and I bet Brit is probably throwing her a bone once in a while. Proble,is she has no follow through and is too lazy to keep prospecting until she finds some more people with more money than sense.

          • The key problem is that Julia costs at least $80-90k/year after taxes to maintain (maybe less in Novato, but we all know she’s always itching for fancier digs) and she’s not worth that anywhere. I’d bet most of her side gigs are unpaid and she’s almost wholly subsidized by dad. She never learned to accept unglamorous work or live within limited means and she frankly thinks that sort of thing is below her.

            Realistically, she could probably land a guy a decade or two her senior with a respectable income, but that, too, is below her.

            Until she gets over herself she’s stuck. I wish we could hear the things she must say to her father whenever he threatens to reign in her spending. She will never work the sort of entry-level position she’s qualified for, drop the wallet-hunting, or live simply to manage a budget.

          • Oof. That could be ~$1 million in support since Robin & Peter’s burro graduated from college.

          • Ryan doesn’t drool over her. His girlfriend is beautiful and accomplished and 29. He might hit up Judy as a side piece, because some people are like that, but she’s never going to get more than some short-term gigs out of this friendship.

          • Albie, I don’t really think Ryan is going to act on anything, but he comes across to me as one of those SV nerdy guys who loves attention from pretty women, and I suspect he finds Donkey sucking up to him and cheerleading his company to be flattering.

          • Albie, what is your guess about why he keeps in touch with her? Does he think Hive needs cheerleaders or Camp Grounded-type kiddie counselors to play games with guests? I’d think that there would be better and cheaper options than hiring a Donkey.

          • Albie’s already given us the reason: Donkey has poured on the flattery and Ryan loves wallowing in the syrup. I’m guessing this character was picked last for high school gym teams and loses his shit when a brunette with a good rack grovels at his feet.

          • Yikes, I hope you don’t think I was arguing the point, I just can’t figure out why anyone sees fit to hire her. I know Ryan was mocked once for spamming his class at HBS, I am wondering if he is still considered kind of a grifting laughingstock too, or if he has any cred. It seems like he has set up a business catering to gullible wannabes, making it not much different than any of the less academically credentialed woos.

          • No, no, I didn’t think you were being combative. Re: Ryan, beware the better educated woo. He’s recently picked up a lot of their laughable jargon, often sounding as silly as Skankatron.

          • I don’t know if Ryan actually pays Judy or just comps her ticket (and maybe expenses) for the meetings. If she does get a check for her lackadaisical promoting, I applaud her grifting skills.

          • If you look at the Hive webpage, though, the actual staff are pretty impressive in terms of accomplishments, and several of the women staffers are really lovely to look at (including the actual girlfriend) so I can’t imagine Judy turns Ryan’s head. I would say it’s more a case of “the more cheerleaders the better” and Judy’s usual big talk about all her Hollywood and New York media connections making her seem appealing to have around as a supporting player.

          • I think they’re probably made to upsell while they’re there (at home add-on *products*) shilled as subtly as a braying donkey. She’s probably expected to sign people up (a la Coobie promo code) and gets kick-backs for each one signed and a % of any add-on products sold. That actually would require some amount of scam work and it’d be much easier just to try and shoot fish in the barrel at the event.

  2. The last line of this post has an uncanny prescient feel to it.

    Scene: The Basement
    (Empty box of Franzia and jars of nutella, cheetos scattered in crevices of whiten shag couch, and rug.)

    *Record Scratch* *Freeze Frame*

    Donkey: “You’re probably wondering how I got here,”

  3. Another thought. Caeli said that the Mystic “tribe” all but deserted her after she and ILYR broke up. Rain is the one with status in that tribe. If he and Donkey broke up, maybe they are no longer as interested in paying attention to her as they once were.

    • They really did break up?

      He was away on tour during her birthday and that’s why she was with Dadster? I didn’t realize there was a breakup.

      I always figured Rain would be too lazy to break up and he’d need someone to lean on when he wasn’t on tour fucking random 20 somethings.

      • I just said if they’ve broken up. It does seem they have been on the rocks since they got back from CR. She also isn’t peeing on her territory in his posts as usual.

    • Too late for that.

      Who is going to pay for sex with an expired woman?

      • Ever been to Amsterdam? They aren’t all young and pretty. In fact, if it were for sale, I might pay to NOT fuck her. That would be hilarious.

        • You are right, she just needs to find her niche.

          I think ANYBODY would pay her to shut up.

  4. She’s finally done it y’all. MEDIA HACKED.

    Sometimes, there’s so much beauty in the world … I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart is just going to cave in.

  5. Hmmmm… this doesn’t sound like it was a planned move.

    Why posting all those pictures of the rainbow dress if she was planning to go dark?

    My heart goes out to all her fans from shining stan to shining stan. Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Afghanistan (the flagship stan) and all the other stans: we feel your pain.

    • Noticed her rainbow picture made it to insta.

    • Don’t forget Istanbul. When Donkey became the unofficial spokesdonkey for Coobie they were flooded with Facebook likes from Istanbul!

  6. Dadsers has given up on her ever supporting herself and is now actively trying to marry her off ?
    “Make your FB private honey, this job is hard enough already!”

  7. Wow! Has she finally actually learned her lesson about not oversharing?

    This is quite remarkable, actually. Is she actually, seriously, finally growing up?? Doubtful, BUT…. interesting development, nevertheless.

    If she gets a real job with health insurance I will eat my hat.

    • I agree, it’ll be spun as the new and improved *business donkey*

  8. Well this is her “year of foundation” after all (anyone guessing that her parents came up with that phrase?) and now that she’s a growed up bidness lady, maybe someone, possibly from the Wilmette gravy train, convinced her that a FB that shows no evidence of work experience these last many years isn’t the best way to advertise her skill set, whatever she’s claiming that is. Or maybe she just pressed the wrong button dicking around with her FB.

  9. what if … the court date for the airbnb case came and part of the legal discovery is the facebook posts about renting it out … scrub scrub scrub

    • Dad$er’s already been there a week, so that particular strategy seems after the fact, possibly / probably.

    • I don’t think his visit had anything to do with the AirBnB case. Is he even qualified to practice law in CA? I doubt it.

      She’s evicted, I bet the owner has moved on.

      • Do we even know she was in trouble legally re: Airbnb, or are we just speculating? I mean beyond getting evicted, is she actually up on charges?

        • If I recall, someone here did dig court records out and she was legally prosecuted. But that could be the Franzia and cheese messing with my memory.

          • There was definitely legal trouble and we posted a link to documents. I’m too busy this morning to look anything up.

          • She and her roommate Neha were both listed as plaintiffs, if I recall. But I don’t think we know yet what happened after that.

  10. It’s the Braying Green (skintag) Massacre all over again — Donk is $kint.

    I figure Dad$er come a calling for one+ of three-ish reasons:
    * AirBRAYnBRAY defense day
    * Collect (& review) Donk’s income tax filing recs
    * OMG! Birthcray! Yeah, let’s go w/ that wink wink

    * Court went well. For the plaintiff(s).
    * Donk’s wink wink “income” doesn’t support her life of leisure.
    * Dad$er wants to wind down & retire / quit $upporting the ass of raft.
    * Dad$er begged favors, got Donk a wink wink “interview” (job is real).
    * It’s now Shit Or Get Off THE Pot time …

    She’s incapable of holding a job — will she manage to get knocked up, or
    is the OMG!DC looming in her near future? How’s Donk gonna spin it?

    • Don’t forget Dadsers’ continuing education@ OMG Stanford as a possible reason to visit.

      • Think he really NEEDED a CLE at this particular time?
        IRS-satisfied justification = expense write-off, no doubt.

        • I think having your firm pay for you to visit your insane leech of a daughter on her Birthcray is kind of a smooth move if Pettifogger wrangled it, tbh.

          • Honestly wasn’t thinking about his firm hoofing the bill, just him being shrewd, but now that you mention it, how hilareballz if Pettifogger found out his new firm discovered the wonders of Donkey online? Hooboy …

          • Doesn’t the new firm he works for have a branch in SF? My thought was he was there on business (either for the company or possible airbnb thing) and it just coincided with her birthday, not that he made a special trip for her.

            I also wonder if that A&O chick asked to be untagged or something.

          • No, can’t be the the Alice & Olivia chick. She actually posted something friendly (“Great photo!” or something) twice on Jabba’s FB in last few days.

          • She did? I saw a photo yesterday of Amal Clooney wearing embroidered jeans from the A+O spring collection. I’m sure that the designer was super impressed with Donkey and her clumsy outfit.

          • Bendet just wrote you look great, as would any clothing CEO if tagged repeatedly by a customer.

    • What social media maven & tech goddess doesn’t make their accounts private? Something went down this week. Does anyone remember what town of the airbnb?

      • SF in the Marina district. Beach Street.

        I seriously doubt this is why he was there, but go for it.

  11. A lot of people seem to think the right to be forgotten applies to the US, even if she cleans it up on social media there is a record of her hideous ethical behavior all over the internet.

    • There’s RBD, there’s Miss Advised, there’s the long string of bridges she’s burned in every industry she’s ever tried to touch. She’s been kicked off of every social ladder she’s ever tried to climb. People warn each other about her in NY & SF. She is a toxic person and the happy funtime rainbow mask always slips eventually. You can’t walk away from your ME ME ME behavior when you pathologically demand that everyone see it. You wanted everyone to watch you? Congrats, they did.

    • And likes Mark Kirk, lol.

      From the fellow devoted Wali –posts he misses her!
      not a basement character?

        • He is too absurd to be a basement character.

          Any catlady worth her salt would have come up with something more believable.

  12. Ohhhh ….

    Maybe unwritten, unpublished, “author-at-writing-book” Mulia Mallison is cleaning up her Fecebook stream of BS because someone who was promised something is going after her for *gasp* unfulfillment.

  13. My money is on Woo Julia being retired to make way for Socially Liberal Church Lady Julia. Used to be addicted to psychedelics and sex and shopping to mask the deep voids only Jesus can fill. Now she makes healthy choices, loves God, wants you to, too.

    • Whatever it is, it’s fueled by scheme juices. A new persona; pretending to drop off Facebook because she’s “too busy” for such nonsense; etc.

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