Updated: Donkey’s New Website: Reimagine Epic Failure

Random Snowflake stumbled across Judy’s half-completed new website, The Reimagine Factory. So far, just two tho natural fauxtos and broken links ABOUT, CONTACT, and STOCKLIST. ::raises eyebrows::

https://www.thereimaginefactory.com/

The domain name appears to have been created on January 29: http://whois.domaintools.com/thereimaginefactory.com

What is our broken down old burro up to? Will Judy soon be joining the ranks of mega-grifter sisters Ali Shanti and Jena la Flamme? Has she suddenly developed a work ethic?

Bottom Video!

Jess Johnson is the weakest link in The Ecstatic Threesome. Nobody does gospel like three blond white women.

Update: Judy will get this new website right up, right after she finishes walking the saddest dog in the world.

FB VIDEO REMOVED

128 COMMENTS

    • Why does she point her toes? This expired ballerina does not point her toes in fauxtos. I hate it so much

      • It’s not even a ballet dancer point, dancers usually point their toes to exaggerate their arches. The more curved the arches the better the feet look, at least in ballet. So she’s failing to make her legs look longer and failing to look like a ballet dancer.

      • This setting is way too natural for the plastic donkey.

      • It looks completely accessible by public transportation– no need for evil automobiles at all. There are restaurants, shops, and other amenities within walking distance. Neighbors live very close together and they all know each other. Everything that an Intentional Community should be, and everything that Donkey brays about. It is totally the opposite of suburban sprawl.

        • Yea, I am sure those two cars you see in the driveway are from the previous owners.

          Donkey only uses a scooter powered with used frying oil to get around.

  1. Squarespace is a template for an online store. What is she selling? Stock list? Baby donkeys?

    • A weekend with Rain? Coaching writing? How to become a famouth journalith? Relationship advice? She’s not qualified to do anything.

      • Jess’ voice doesn’t fit with those other two. Her voice is like fingernails on a blackboard with that vocal fry braying.

      • My guess is that it’ll be some BS about how she totally reimagined her life, from being a polyester-and-costume-jewelry-wearing parasite living off her parents in a McCondo and pretending to have a job, to transforming into a polyester-and-costume-jewelry-wearing parasite living off her parents in a McMansion in Novato and pretending to have a job.

        It’s story of great courage and adventure! Of gratitude and contribution! Of service to the divine! Of a curious girl in a curious world! A deep dive into consciousness! And it can be yours for the low, low price of $4,999.99!

          • It will never get much further than the incorporation. She has proven time and again that she has zero motivation/drive/stamina.

          • Could be a dummy (ha) site just for show. Remember that website she commissioned showing her totally fake book cover design?

          • That was epic, and SO Donkey, pretending that gauchos are reality. Did she ever pay (hahahahaha, as if) the person who wasted his time on a mock-up of her never-to-see-the-light-of-day book cover?

    • It has pretty robust blog capabilities now, actually. I myself use it because it is really easy and I got nothing to sell but my soul.

  2. SHE.IS.SO.MENTAL.

    Random laughter as she writes in her notebook. Pointing her hooves as she drinks her green juice. Wearing dungarees like the kids do because she is NOT a polyester-tutu-wearing lunatic. She is a completely sane person from whom you should take career advice because she has worked a total of about 125 days in her entire adult life.

      • I often wonder who got custody of those. He must need them for his “man modeling” pictures.

        This all points to ILYR telling her she needed to work on herself (I do think she previously thanked him for breaking up with her), followed by a shout out for therapist and now a newly minted site with no content, she’s trying to prove to someone she’s made changes. All signs point to the same old donkey. Neva change, as if she could.

        • Reimagine Factory is the new Book Deal.

          Incorporate and then make it up as you go along, and then fail.

          • Yes, I’m wondering if this sight ever amounts to something other than non-working links. She never follows through with anything. Didn’t she and Derpin own several domain names?

    • She has spent her whole life to look like a posed stock photo. Emulating joy! Laughter! I AM DO DESPERATELY HAPPY, SEE? She belongs in a Cialis ad with some elderly grump who can’t get it up without boner pills.

      She’s so basic.

    • I think she rolled to the center. I’m putting money on a new Goop but even more absurd, if that’s even possible. Lifestyle websites from celebrities are failing (rightfully so) so this should be an epic win.
      Shilling: green juice (she never actually consumed but posed with to convey healthy lifestyle). According to my friend in media this “oh we caught you acting casual” is the new trend in fauxtoshoots. But when you don’t really work, what else could she pose doing.
      Feeling charitable. These are the best images of her to date and it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with the photographer.

    • Observations: she actually has that stupid “cuddle” cushion in multiples? The one featured on her illegal airBnB listing of the OMG Marina District luxury abode was black lettering on white background; it’s astonishing to me that something so trite exists in additional colorways. Or did she creatively collaborate to produce this comfy & delightful(tm) custom item? More importantly, will it be available to the general public via The Reimagine Factory?

      Also, is that spirulina she’s drinking? Is it the 80s again? Out of a Ball jar? Is it the early 2000s again?

      Also, what is going on with her right side in that couch picture? Is that part of her sitting-down-part? Her shirt-tail? A tiny knapsack? A tumor?

  3. My 3 cents:

    Pic next to cuddle pillow is totally yoo hoo i am single this could/should be you sitting next to me

    Why is there a large ring on the MIDDLE finger?

    These look like professionally bone photos, and really are very nice

    • It’s a mood ring and she can’t seem to get it to switch from the color for deranged.

      She is just sitting there with her brand new journal and laughing and laughing about all the brilliant thoughts she is having. How funny it is to be a donkey pushing forty and living in the east bay. It is exactly as she has always dreamed, except without the enviable career, handsome and successful husband who loves her, beautiful home or even the teensiest bit of happiness.

  4. She looks like Fran Drescher in the top photo. And I don’t mean Fran Drescher when Fran was just about to turn 36, I mean Fran now.

    • About six years ago I was up close to Fran Drescher at an art exhibit. And wow, I did a double take, recognizing her but thinking no, it can’t be her, this woman looks 29, or 32 or something. It was her, she looked great. Don’t know how she does it.

  5. What kind of person would force her neglected, elderly, not-long-for-this-world dog to wear a hot pink spandex brassiere (repurposed Jazzercizer jockstrap?), and then throw it up on social media like it’s cute/clever? What kind of person, indeed?

    • P.S.: the poor thing appears to be hobbling in pain (like me when I get up in the morning, before my hot shower.) That unfortunate creature should be living out her days on a comfy & delightful heating pad, not thrashing her way through chilly, damp, Donkey-sanctioned OMG Nature.

  6. She’s spent the last 10 years reimagining herself as Carrie Bradshaw, Blair Waldorf, the next Oprah, Gretchen Rubin, Elizabeth Gilbert, a TV sensation, an Obama speechwriter (almost!), a philosopher, a dancer, a founder, a possible HBS admit, Justine Musk, a bidness lady, etc. It’s the doing that’s been hard for her, so why not? Why not a reimagination factory? The Julia Allison Baugher Reimagination Company! The ultimate Magical Imaginary Corporation! She can reimagine her life from the comfort of her own S Corporation, the purpose of which is to tell the world what great thing she’s claiming to be today. Motto: “Actually doing things is for the little people. Imagining that you’ve done things is for truly creative geniuses!”

    • After all those years of us referring to her Magical Imaginary Corporation, and she goes with something so close to it?!? Get your own ideas, Judy!

      • It’s sad that you’re being so negative. The Reimagine Factory produces Alternative Facts. Julia is an entrepreneur, a columnist, a thought leader, a rebel, a technology expert… it might not be the reality that you or I or the rest the world experiences, but it’s the reality inside A Donkey’s head.

  7. bottom vid: cannot even see the dog partially for but a split second

    i see horse farms, but no shirtless french farmers to go with the scene

  8. All I can think of is C & C Music Factory.
    I am guessing the Reimagine Factory will be as outside the square and radical as NonSociety proved to be.
    Good old Jules has elected “wholesome healthy living blogger” as her identity du jour.

  9. Gilly referred to a Harvard wallet in the previous post — in his employee-seeking post, note ‘reinventing’. I can see her thinking all she’d need to do is slap up a website featuring her reinvented self as a healthy, unaddicted-to-addicting-things Qualia-snorting spokes-donkey who they’d pay her big bucks to because she is such an influencer among the Dad$er-purchased fans in the ‘stans.

    Jordan Greenhall January 24 at 10:02am ·

    Hey friends! My startup NHC is expanding quickly. I’m now looking for someone to come in full time to help us tell the story. In some places, this role might be called “PR” but don’t let that fool you. We are reinventing everything.

    The ideal person is:

    a) Smart and creative. We have a big, complex story and this person needs to be able to quickly come up to speed and then be able to share it with accuracy and simplicity.

    b) Personable. The right person has to deeply understand the human animal – particularly the journalist version – and thrive in interaction.

    c) Strategic. There is a lot to do. How do we choose the best path?
    What of PR expertise? Meh. Nice to have. Much better is a native knack for communication and the ability to learn quickly.

    This is full time in beautiful Encinitas. We will move the right person here.

      • My five-year-old friend who loves garbage trucks is more qualified than Judy. He is outgoing, communicates effectively (“Make me strawberry cookies next time!”), and plays well with others.

        • my neighbor’s kid loves garbage trucks and comes out in the morning to greet them. i don’t understand, but it’s a thing.

      • Yep. Done scairt her off. WYSIWYG w/ that site / sight / cite.

        RIP BOOK
        RIP $-CORP
        RIP WEBSITE

    • Ugh, all these people deserve each other. That job description makes me watch to bleach my eyes.

    • This is a full-time PR job, but we’re reimagining PR so pay no attention to reality.

      A donkey in Encinitas is too fucking close for comfort.

      • She better hope the daders and ILYR (if he’s still in the picture) doesn’t see this, they’ll expect her to work.
        I thought she was already doing stuff for them, they must have been so pleased they put out an ad for exactly what she now pretends to do.

      • “PR experience isn’t needed, because we’re looking for someone cheaper who will do the same thing”

    • He sells nootropic pills. It’s the new fad in tech communities, selling smart pills to dummies like selling diet pills to fatties.

      The big complex story to tell is how to legally bullshit someone to pay $50 for a bottle of pills that costs him 50 cents to produce.

      He’s part of the Founders Institute click. Back in the web 2.0 days they were aligned with Michael Arrington/TechCrunch.

  10. Zestimate on that house is 1.7MM. So, how is Donk affording it? They must be AirBNB and/or using it as a group home….

    Also, what is Novato like? It looks somewhat rural. Is it a hippie type or rural? Or something else? Given the home valuations, I can’t imagine it is like a typical rural place.

    • Old money people from Tiburon and Mill Valley turn their noses up at Novato. It’s not rural, or even particularly hippie, like Sebastopol or Santa Cruz. It is a basic, boring Bay Area suburb. There are shopping centers, freeways, fast food, liquor stores, apartment complexes, track homes, subdivisions, just like everywhere else. Julia thinking it’s special in some way is, well, special.

    • Donk is probably sub-subletting, like she did in SF, or is grifting a housesitting gig where she doesn’t pay rent at all.

    • There is a Chick-Fil-A across the six-lane street/101 interchange from Costco in Novato, which pretty much sums it up. So sorry, such a snob who grew up in Santa Cruz and then moved to the City.

      • You must be mistaken. A Donkey would never live anywhere with a freeway, a chain store, and fast food. Julia Allison is all about nature– she grows her own organic vegetables, makes her own clothing from organic cotton, boycotts plastic, and also boycotts Amazon.

    • Boring. The least interesting/nice part of Marin County. Mostly blah houses and chain stores. I’m sure there are a few bigger houses like the one Donk’s living in, but they were probably built because they’d be twice as expensive in Mill Valley (plus there’s practically no land left to build on there anyway). No one brags that they live in Novato.

  11. What-the-ever-loving-fuck is jobless wonder yammering on about now?
    Julia Allison
    4 hrs ·

    We’re on a path to mass unemployment, especially when AI/robotic intelligence starts taking over a huge percentage of jobs (which will not be replaced at the same rate).
    In order for our society not to fall into complete chaos, we must shift our mindset to abundance oriented, with innovation along the lines of a basic income and a new economic system. Good luck, right?

    The Spiritual Crisis of the Modern Economy
    The main source of meaning in American life is a meritocratic competition that makes those who struggle feel inferior.
    THEATLANTIC.COM|BY VICTOR TAN CHEN

    • Yes, good luck, Donkey, on earning that basic income when you can’t even complete your griftpage.

      She posted this claptrap more than seven hours ago and only two people have liked it, asshat “TV producer” Adryenn Ashley, who comments on Donkey’s drivel more often than does any other “friend,” and Julian Saenz, Senior General Counsel at National Gallery of Art. WTF is Saenz doing associating with a sad sack burro?

  12. She’s such a rebel sitting in that Adirondack chair like that. I thought it was impossible to sit any other way in them but she sure showed me!

    • Meanwhile, the arm of the chair that’s scissored between her raftass & her sturdy backlegs is damn near ready to snap in two. #DestructionReimagined

  13. Mulia Mallison is trying to give away her two-sizes-too-small Mass Despised frock …

    • So instead of just quietly donating it to a charity shop, she is using it to brag about being on TV (“my Bravo show”) in case any of her newer acquaintances and marks didn’t already know, and brag about being a size 2-4.

      She is so transparent.

    • So hilarious. Please note: she never says she’s actually GIVING IT AWAY. It’s like she can’t bring herself to type that or she’s actually trying to sell it. Bonus: she sounds totally depressed.

      “Another lifetime ago, I bought this dress to wear at the promo shots for my Bravo show.

      Years later, this dress is ready to graduate to someone who will love it as much as I did.

      Would anyone like to give it a new home? Size is somewhere between 2-4, I believe.

      It would make me happy if it made someone else happy …”

    • They have consignment stores in Novato. Or Crossroads. Do that.

      UGH. I think I’m only following her to see if anyone in her mass of followers calls her out on her idiocy.

  14. Wtf? Donkey donkey grasping at straws living in a suburb. Novato is Novato typical suburb nothing great or special. I will say if you live by the water then it is nice a summer thing that city kids would go up to Novato to BBQ and have fun. Boring though but she is useless and produces nothing takes up space.
    Three blondes yikes I mean the other two do not sound bad but magicless jess ruins the whole thing. I love how cultural appropriation takes place like the singing comes from a place of feeling and experiencing what the songs is trying to convey. Wrapping your hair oh boy just be yourselves stop trying to be the soulful, cultural competent human being that you are not just so fake.

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