Ali Shanti definitely has a type. The most recent post from two ex’s ago:
I got too high.
In college, I started using drugs and drinking a lot.
Partly because everyone else was and it was deemed “cool” at the time.
And partly because I wanted to figure out if God was still with us, on Earth.
I looked around at the world around me and, inside, cringed. I felt a deep anger for what was going on.
So I got high. Really high.
Part of this was definitely an avoidance tactics. How could I avoid the feelings that I felt about the world? Well, getting high helped that a lot.
And part of it was that getting high opened up my creativity and allowed me to see a better vision for the world and for my life. This was good.
Then, as I got into spiritual new age concepts, it became easier and easier to justify my drug use as “spiritual” because it “helped me connect with source.”
Little did I know that over the course of my life I had just created so many walls to protect myself from the perceived dangers of the outside world and drugs opened me up to feel life again.
I was an addict. A pure definition of an addict. Always looking for the next high and always avoiding having to face reality.
Until my reality wasn’t having it anymore. It wasn’t going to keep giving to me if I kept taking from it.
For the most part, throughout my being high, I used it for good purposes. To create. To open up more to love.
Until I wasn’t anymore. Until I found myself in an addictive loop, looking for the next high.
And it didn’t matter who I hurt. Even the people who I cared about and loved SO much. Inside, I knew I loved them and I knew that I didn’t want to hurt them, but my addiction had control of me.
So I got too high. For over 5 years, I got too high. And I almost threw away my life. In many different ways. I almost threw away my love for life, friendships, and family for a beer, a joint, and a cigarette. I’m still working on repairing these things.
All because reality was too challenging to face. The reality that I saw in front of me was not one I wanted to be a part of. And instead of taking the constructive actions to change it, I got high to avoid it.
I’m happy to say I’m about 2 weeks sober from drugs (with the exception of one beer and a sip of Egg Nog). And I feel great.
To those who I hurt during this time, I am so sorry. I know that this may mean nothing at this time, but I hope it’s at least a start to mending things.
To those who have helped me see this, even while I was caught in my haze, thank you. I am forever grateful.
Cheers to addiction-free living.
We wish you the best of luck, Mr. Jacobs.
Update: In the comments below, Winchester wonders if Fozzie’s new sobriety isn’t just a ploy for a marketing plan in which he gets paid to coach others how to live a substance-free existence. Cynical? I thought so … until I discovered what Michael Rainbow Haynes, Ali’s most recent ex, also in rehab, began posting during the last 24 hours.
The cover fauxto for the new Rainbow’s Couch page on Facebook. Will Skankatron 3000B be an interviewee? Is she behind this potential grift?