Updated: Fozzie Comes Clean

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baseballfurensemble

Ali Shanti definitely has a type. The most recent post from two ex’s ago:

I got too high.

In college, I started using drugs and drinking a lot.

Partly because everyone else was and it was deemed “cool” at the time.

And partly because I wanted to figure out if God was still with us, on Earth.

I looked around at the world around me and, inside, cringed. I felt a deep anger for what was going on.

So I got high. Really high.

Part of this was definitely an avoidance tactics. How could I avoid the feelings that I felt about the world? Well, getting high helped that a lot.

And part of it was that getting high opened up my creativity and allowed me to see a better vision for the world and for my life. This was good.

Then, as I got into spiritual new age concepts, it became easier and easier to justify my drug use as “spiritual” because it “helped me connect with source.”

Little did I know that over the course of my life I had just created so many walls to protect myself from the perceived dangers of the outside world and drugs opened me up to feel life again.

I was an addict. A pure definition of an addict. Always looking for the next high and always avoiding having to face reality.

Until my reality wasn’t having it anymore. It wasn’t going to keep giving to me if I kept taking from it.

For the most part, throughout my being high, I used it for good purposes. To create. To open up more to love.

Until I wasn’t anymore. Until I found myself in an addictive loop, looking for the next high.

And it didn’t matter who I hurt. Even the people who I cared about and loved SO much. Inside, I knew I loved them and I knew that I didn’t want to hurt them, but my addiction had control of me.

So I got too high. For over 5 years, I got too high. And I almost threw away my life. In many different ways. I almost threw away my love for life, friendships, and family for a beer, a joint, and a cigarette. I’m still working on repairing these things.

All because reality was too challenging to face. The reality that I saw in front of me was not one I wanted to be a part of. And instead of taking the constructive actions to change it, I got high to avoid it.

I’m happy to say I’m about 2 weeks sober from drugs (with the exception of one beer and a sip of Egg Nog). And I feel great.

To those who I hurt during this time, I am so sorry. I know that this may mean nothing at this time, but I hope it’s at least a start to mending things.

To those who have helped me see this, even while I was caught in my haze, thank you. I am forever grateful.

Cheers to addiction-free living.

We wish you the best of luck, Mr. Jacobs.

Update: In the comments below, Winchester wonders if Fozzie’s new sobriety isn’t just a ploy for a marketing plan in which he gets paid to coach others how to live a substance-free existence. Cynical? I thought so … until I discovered what Michael Rainbow Haynes, Ali’s most recent ex, also in rehab, began posting during the last 24 hours.

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The cover fauxto for the new Rainbow’s Couch page on Facebook. Will Skankatron 3000B be an interviewee? Is she behind this potential grift?

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60 COMMENTS

  1. That’s actually pretty moving. Well done, Fozzie. This particular cat person is genuinely rooting for you and your sobriety.

  2. Good for him, hoping the best for his future

    Also hope that he us not surrounded by too many people and temptation that might hinder him

    • Reportedly a good samaritin who drives a white van is stopping by to water them every other day

      Speaking of caretaking, is anyone looking after lilly?

  3. Fozzie has seemed pretty lost ever since we have known about him, casting about in different directions, trying to figure himself out. If he reads this, know that many, MANY people in their 20s feel the same way and go through this same process. I know I did. The ones who successfully go through it learn from each mistake and each success, and build upon it. One promising sign to knowing what you want is discovering what you DON’T want and making changes.

    Yeah, we made fun of him a lot, myself included, but he seems to be actively trying to figure things out, as opposed to a prideful Donkey who never hits the ‘learn’ button.

    And Fozzie, if sobriety or religion or whatever doesn’t bring you what you want right away, don’t feel bad about that either, learn from it. Be patient and determined. There is no one answer, and no guarantees. Just keep pursuing what interests you. Don’t always assume a hobby can become a career, but keep it as a hobby if you love doing it. Don’t forget that even the most talented creative people usually have to hold down boring day jobs so they can pursue music, writing, and other things. Too many people get disillusioned when they don’t get instant results. Find a way to earn a living that doesn’t eat your brain, and be flexible and open to opportunities for growth on your terms. Spend your leisure time having fun with music, writing, and making real friends who are good people. Good luck.

    /soapbox

  4. Yes, this is good news. I wish him the best.

    Now maybe move this stuff to a therapist’s private office?

    ( is that old fashioned? Is FB therapy to the Youngs?)

    • Co-sign. The seldom proven-wrong skeptic in me hopes this isn’t a ploy for a new “marketing plan,” where he now feels qualified to “coach” others. It’s brave to start down this road but the need to share every step of the way doesn’t help others until you’ve built credibility with consistency over months to years, not weeks.

      • With softness, you have been burned a lot, I think, and it may affect your judgment. Fozzie never managed to grift many people when he was in that early coaching phase, which didn’t last long. If he was guilty of anything it was being too immature/naive and too trusting of the wrong people. I have to give him credit for recognizing this pretty quickly and moving in different directions. Shanti did a Svengali number on him and he was able to recognize this wasn’t who he wanted to be, and broke that off as well. His song lyrics reject the grifty ways of the woos. I think he deserves some credit for taking his life in a more positive direction.

        • I appreciate your comment but do not see it as being “burned” but rather learning from life experiences. These experiences allow me to look as situations with what you may view as a critical eye (not incorrect), but I do as applied learning (also not incorrect). Because he was not successful at grifting (none of them are in all honesty) is not enough of a differentiator for me.
          I’d like nothing more than for MJ to prove me wrong. And I too gave him credit admitting he needed to make positive change but, still recommend getting off the internet, get the help needed and not to look for social media “likes” to guide the treatment path. People recovering are fragile & Facebook is not a qualified therapist.
          And not to be a dick but let’s all remember Ali’s other ex Craig (while he chose to come here which is vastly different than this situation) and how so many blindly believed he “changed.” He didn’t he wanted to change his “narrative.” Time will tell and again I do hope he proves me wrong.

          • For what it’s worth, I never believed Craigers changed. Fozzie is still basically a kid. Craigers was not. He was older and more ingrained in the lifestyle as well. The only common denominator was the Svengali control freak Shanti.

    • Oh I hope not. She’s been supportive of recent ex Doug Henning during his first 100 days of sobriety, offering thumbs up and words of encouragement on his video posts. Shanti also seems to be extremely involved with events in Standing Rock, even helping to prepare meals to bring to protesters. I don’t want to jinx anything, but I don’t see her writing anything nasty about Fozzie, directly or indirectly, in her next listserv dump.

      • She won’t be able to help herself. She must make it about her. That she’s “helping” so many find their “true selves” through sobriety. She must take credit for other people’s work and blame when it goes wrong. Again, why if MJ is serious, he gets off the internet and to a qualified specialist to help me.

  5. “And partly because I wanted to figure out if God was still with us, on Earth.” This really speaks to me — something I’ve never said about any of the woos. I wish him the best.

    • And didn’t he go through a period a while ago when he had just extricated himself from the Old Raunch’s clutches where he was back near his family and considering re-embracing Catholicism? He posted various thoughtful musings that suggested healthy self-examination was going on (which seemed appropriate to his age/stage of life.)

      • Yes, he did. I understand the push and pull of one’s religious upbringing, and the desire to make a radical break from it. The early twenties are a good time to try other things. Also I really like his coat.

  6. Not to rain on his parade, but two weeks almost-dry is hardly addiction-free living — he’s got so much more reckoning to do than he can imagine & I hope he avails himself to AA & NA mtgs, cuz today’s “attaboys” from the internet are yesterday’s trophies for suiting up.

    Hang in there, Fozzie! Do the work.

      • I think Shanti really did a number on him and pressured him into situations where he was … Uncomfortable, to put it mildly. I hope is able to heal and recover.

        On another note, every time I go to check in on his fb, I type in “Fozzie” and am momentarily confused by the search results. Same thing with Avocado.

        • The rule about dating anyone younger than yourself (dating anyone, really, but esp. someone much younger than yourself) is never to leave them in worse shape than when they met you.

          I’m guessing that Shamti leaves anyone who gets close to her, with permanent psychic damage.

          • Somewhat off topic: I’m wondering if Fozzie and Rainbow Doug Henning have been running into each other at 12-step meetings. Boulder ain’t all that big.

  7. I think most of us have gotten too high at some point. Good on you, Fozzie, for catching it early.

    • I myself got too high (read: drunk) at my new company’s holiday party just last Thursday! And I am 45! And I told someone much too young for me that I was “strongly attracted” to him. Gah, I’m cringing thinking about it. I normally can shut it off but oofa. He took my hand to be kind but I ran with it.

      I had already spoken with my therapist about getting sober in the new year, so.

      Go Fozzie, I hope it sticks.

  8. I wonder if Jules will be writing a similar post in a few years.
    But that would require some actual introspection so I guess not.

    • She’s not addicted to anything but the smell of her own self-righteous farts.

      Well, injectables, I suppose. And checks from Dad$ers.

  9. That picture … Silent Fozz. Although his personality is more like Jay’s, at least if his rap lyrics are any indication. I just love thinking that Ali eventually caved and actually referrred to him as “Pimp Lion,” that is the greatest.

  10. Rainbow M. H. is almost as bad at hair styling as Rainbow J. A.

    And I can’t believe he’s trying to market himself as a sobriety guru this early in his recovery. Hubris, dude. Hubris.

  11. i have to admit, i watched is intro/welome video, and he seems to be articulate, coherent, and intelligent

    will see if any interesting content comes about

    • Yes, because Rainbow Michael Haynes has been sober for a New York Minute and is qualified to counsel others.

  12. So wait… EIGHT years later, not one of the original Nonsociety famewhores has gotten engaged or married even they made 984 “shows” about guys and dating?!?!?

    Am I correct here?

Comments are closed.