Now With Shocking Update: What In The Ever Loving Fuck?!

Warrior Judy would have been in the Dakotas, bravely marching alongside the Sioux, had playing dressup with a pack of adolescent asshats not taken pride of place:

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Update: Grifty stumbled upon Annie Lalla’s Burning Man 2014 album and discovered statutory rapist Marc Gafni showed up at Donkey’s wedding to herself after all!

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71 COMMENTS

    • Seriously! Donk, dude, what you’re wearing is like nine sizes too small. You look INSANE, and that’s not even taking into account the costume itself, the makeup + wig, the glitter, the poses, the TONGUE, the fucking IDEA that a 57-year-old must dress sexy on Halloween etc.

    • Can you imagine what it must look like from the back? The full-length cape was a good choice. Now if she would just close it up the front.

    • Yes, it’s the fucking BACKGROUNDS what presents a problem here.

      I don’t know why this makes me so mad but I have waves of BRAYGE washing over me. I fear I will lash out against the first person who makes the mistake of knocking on the door of my desk-erranding place. There’s a throbbing vein in my temple getting ready to pop. I feel like Ignatius J. Reilly when he goes out to see a movie.

      • GIRL BREATH GIRL

        that background is pretty awful though… who made that poster? some FEATHERS plus some GEOMETRY plus SPACE and put it all on a honkin big sheet of plastic because we are the most enlightened bitches in the apartment complex!

        • It may be an expensive house, but from what I can see, it’s hideous. Look at that trio of resin-framed mirrors bought as a set. Look at the beige wall-to-wall (maybe it’s actually Donkey’s current stall?) Look at the cliche plantation shutters. And yes, that painting (by one “Summer Athena”) is hilariously awful.

          • it’s not even a painting… it’s clip art from a Spenser Gifts printed out on large format plastic “canvas.” Summer Athena must be the woo version of the Bradford Exchange.

          • that might be the wrong summer Athena, I couldn’t be bothered to wait for the page to load.

          • I can’t tell if it’s the same Summer Athena. The website is pimping out photography which, aside from the ridiculously irritating woo subject matter, actually look really competently made. So… because of the woo, I’d say it’s the same. But because of the apparent talent, I’d say… maybe not?

          • Thanks for commenting on this important issue. I am leaning toward NOT because she’s advertising herself as a model and whoever created that Kinko’s bullshit up there probably considers themself some sort of fine-art-type artist. (Not sure how to describe what is clearly not painting.)

  1. Why would you decorate your breasts so they look like an illustration of saline implants in a medical journal?

  2. There’s that penis tongue again. Why does she do this?

    She tried crowdsourcing a place to go on a “sexy date” in SF for Halloween, only to receive crickets.

    In her minor defense, I think this marks maybe the first time she hasn’t photoshopped herself before posting pictures of herself. That is the only charitable thing I can say about this outfit.

  3. P.S.: her tongue always reminds me of organs included when I buy a whole chicken and have to discard because my cats refuse them.

  4. Hee! KattyKittay appears to be wearing one of her husband’s Sergeant Pepper/high school band fetish jackets.

  5. sorta OT but related thesis:

    people used to say that valentine’s day was just a “Hallmark holiday”

    women have stolen halloween from children and turned into an “Instagram holiday”

  6. WHY would you paint your boobs Dead Russian Hooker Blue. Given that you were going to paint your boobs blue, why not paint the rest of your exposed skin to match? Because it looks like she pulled a torso from the Black Dahlia investigation and stuck it onto a pair of hot dogs from an unlicensed food truck.

    • When I think Ice Queen, I think Lana Turner in PEYTON PLACE, or Tippi Hedren in MARNIE, not Ariel White getting dusted for fingerprints.

  7. I remember back in high school, one of the special ed students attended the High School Halloween Party with what looked like a coating of oatmeal all over his face…and a cape. What was he supposed to be? Only he knew in that special, twisted brain of his. We loved and accepted him just the same.

    Juliaaaaaaa?

    • Except I think she’s exaggerating re: using a whole bottle of paint and glitter. She only covered her chest and neck and then daubed it on her face. I have a friend who went as a Na’avi for Halloween and was able to entirely cover her (six foot plus) frame using a pot of Mehron paint.

  8. A reminder to everyone that Papa Stetler made those signs for Judy, hence their out-of-place competence. I can’t imagine asking my ex-boyfriend’s dad to make signs for my self-wedding at a desert drugs party, but Judy has never lacked chutzpah.

    • At least she didn’t hire Debbie’s ex-con brother to play bouncer. Think of all the banged up woos in the hospital!

  9. Donkey still has no posts for her crowdsourced request for “sexy date” suggestions tonight in SF. One wonders why her “date” (who even calls ‘going out’ a ‘date’ anymore?) can’t be assed to come up with any ideas of his own.

    Transbraytion: “WE ARE NOT BREAKING UP! I AM DRAGGING HIM OUT ON ANOTHER “DATE” THAT I AM STILL CALLING THAT, EVEN THOUGH THE MASCULINE WONT PAY FOR IT JUST SO WE CAN LOOK SEXY TOGETHER IN PUBLIC AND GET LOTS OF ATTENTION.”

  10. As one who has been known to dabble in the “dark arts” (it began ironically, then became a source of comfort in routine, and hey, those religious candles are a dollar at Food 4 Less/$1.25 if you wanna rep for Santisima Muerte) … I am offended more than any of these other awful photos by Julia fucking Allison calling herself a “witch.”

    Honey, you’re one very important letter off.

    • And to be clear, there is a wealth of offensive material here that others have more thoroughly covered. This is worse than I could have even imagined had I sat down to think about “woo Halloween”. It is reverse aspirational and I personally feel awesome about my own life right now. Holy merde.

      PS: happy Samhain/Halloween, if you’re into that! Later I will eat an apple and some store-bought pumpkin pie while thinking of all the cat ladies; maybe will light an electric votive candle in the basement’s honor, as well.

  11. She’s put up more pics that remind me of the cigar pic. Sitting on the lap of a guy in a Guy Fawkes mask and another sort of standing up and strangling him. Such hypocrisy.

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