Donkey Sticks Her Tongue Up Brit Moron’s Bunghole (Again)

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Hmmmmm, I’d wondered if Brit was one of Donkey’s “many” clients; however, from the “effervescent ladyboss badass momma’s” response, I’m thinking no. Just who are those mysterious clients that keep Judy Albertson working day and night?

#IAmNoWriter #ReMakeByDrBobby

Highlights from the KMart Creative Confab, including Jaahass and her uke. Photos by Monika de Myer.

Donkey rockin’ the Princess Leia look! These three PTA moms are the heart & soul of every craft fair in Dubuque:

At least Dave kept his hand off Donkey’s tit during this year’s confab:

Jahass entertained KMart management with her unique ukulele stylings. Attendees were appreciative but puzzled. Where was the covers band?

126 COMMENTS

  1. The loon is treating that nursery school decoration like a step and repeat.

    How strange that Brit didn’t invite her to speak.

  2. Check out the other pics. Of course there is the obligatory photo with Dave, but none with Brit. Jahhsss was with her, along with Nehi.

    Donkey again used all Brit’s exhibits as photoshoot props, posing as if she owned the place. And WTF is with the Princess Leia hair and that hideous skirt dragging on the ground?

    • Princess Leia appears to have taken down the snaps of Nehi, Jaahass, and her highness traipsing around the KMart managerial convention. Thanks for the alert, else I never would have grabbed them.

        • These pictures definitely weren’t up for the public to see on the morning of September 30 and seem to have gone up and down and up again last night. Donkey occasionally toys with her FB availability status, sometimes switching from friends to public or vice versa. She recently posted a video of herself and Rain that I was able to get stills from before she changed access to friends only.

  3. All of them are a waste of time and it’s obvious Brit is checking Julia since she is known for sleeping with her friends men ex Tim ferrit. Brit girl stop lowering yourself to Julia , although I have no use for Brit website or ideas she should just focus on something else other than Julia Albertson.

    • “Love that quote you overheard! Now bitch, stop trying to fuck my husband!”

  4. Julia has accomplished nothing. Like Julia, this unemployed, washed-up Bjork look isn’t working. Her last feeble attempt will be to start dressing up for Comic-Con and hoping that she can become a somebody on YouTube–or at least trick someone into wanting their picture with her. She will also fail at this.

  5. Brit is about effervescent as an empty 2ltr bottle of Sprite. Her presence is very slutty Weekend at Bernies.

      • OMGreg! Brit’s hair look like it was styled with a pair of pruning shears.

        And her boobs are crying for freedom is that way-too-tight dress.

        And don’t even get me started on the armpit cleavage!

        Oh, and the cameraman can’t even keep things in focus.

        Even without taking into account Britt’s annoying, grating voice, this video is an all-around failure.

        • Dear god I will never get back the three minutes from watching this. Build your own box, what money can buy.

      • “Floaties because why not? … Birch box, super fun. … In this row, there is vignettes …”

        Did this woman graduate from high school? Her alma mater must be so, like, proud.

        • “It’s really awesome. You can come in and build your box. Super fun.”

          How can Dave listen to that voice for more than 30 seconds?

      • Such an airhead. Her voice is sooooooo grating and dull at the same time.

      • Wait… I’m only two minutes, and replayed, where she names Matisse. Matisse???? And Brit & Co.? Swim floaties hanging from the ceiling and flower crowns = Matisse??
        Have any of you ever seen, “Idiocracy”?

      • 9.33

        “I’ll show you what people are actually making…oh, they’re little art prints…stay wild…adorable, so cute…and they’re doing this in like twenty minutes…like, so easy…”

        *holds postcards up to the camera that have been amateurishly decorated with gold leaf animals and writing*

        “People think that it’s so hard to learn this stuff, but literally you can do this in twenty minutes…”

        No. Nobody looks at those postcards and thinks, “Wow, it must be so hard to learn that stuff. I bet that’s really difficult to do.” They look like something a grade schooler could create in, oh I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes.

  6. Good Greg, how does open that gaping maw so wide? Doesn’t it hurt?
    The yellow skirt is hilarious; just think of her walking from outside or a carpark and it dragging along the ground picking up all the filth. Talking of evil cars, how did Donk get to this event?

    Only fauxtos missing are a skirt pull and one with her hiking her skirt up to show us whatever revolting shoes she is wearing.

    Am LOLing at the photo where Donk is on the left, Jaaahs is in the middle and some chick with a yellow dress and raggedy ribbon earrings is on the right. The chick with the yellow dress is looking at Donk like “WTF”? I’ve read where catpeeps have said that Donk will suddenly spring into ‘posing’ mode once the camera starts and that it’s a bit of a shock when she starts doing it. It looks like that is what is happening in that photo.

    Those yellow glasses are hideous. At least she set the makeup gun down one level from her usual setting of whoreish.

    P.S. Who is taking all the photos of her? Jaahs? Or is Judy monopolising the event photographer?

    tl:dr What a f*cking loon. All the side-eye in the world. All of it.

    • She probably brought Nehi along as her photographer, like she used to do with Lasagna and Pointy. At age 35, she still needs to be photographed like she’s the star at events that have nothing to do with her.

    • Have you ever seen the video of her posing for the cameras at some event? It is to canklehausen in the EXTREME. Seeing what she does in motion is so embarrassing.

      • I’ve always wondered if she makes a noise. Her mouth is open as if she has been caught mid-bray, but is there a sound or is she just posing silently with her mouth agape?

      • Handbag, no, I’ve never seen it. I think she got rid if it (?) before I joined the basement. Would love/loathe to see it.
        I’ve seen the facial expressions one but am not sure if it’s a GIF or if she was really ‘warming up’ / cycling through her expressions that fast like a lunatic. That isn’t the one you mean, is it?

      • Was it at the Web Prom or whatever that thing was? I remember there was a video of her wearing a tiara (she did not win, she brought her own) and jumping up and down in front of the photographer.

    • I called that look (gaping maw) the anaconda look.

      She looks like an anaconda that is about to swallow its hapless prey.

    • the twelve y.o. uke player on “america’s got talent” has more talent than jahhssszzzzz.

    • That’s what makes me think it was not such a great turn-out. A dog and pony for investors and they needed seat fillers and cheap (free) entertainment.

  7. Someone needs to photoshop mouse ears on Donkey in one of the most Annette Funicello-looking images. Also, is this new hairdo a sign she removed the pelts? I suspect ILYRAIN is all about a more natural look, so of course she would be complying.

    WTF is with the sign that reads “create your own hvagic”?

    Donkey getting ecstatic over two skeins of yarn is positively hilarious. Short bus candidate.

  8. Nauseating pastels, ukulele players, balloons, pretend dress-up accessories … this looks like a children’s learning and music event without the children.

    • Kids are learning how to build robots. This useless crap is for 30-something white girls who have bumper stickers that say “Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly” and couldn’t sew on a button if their lives depended on it. They also think they are “fearlessly creative” for (paying a handyman for) hanging a chalkboard in the kitchen.

      • So much this. I seem to remember a woman tech blogger several years back decrying the girlie sector of Silicon valley. Pretty sure she got tons of flack, but was essentially like, are diapers, laundry, makeup, fashion and baking all you could come up with for your start ups?

  9. Skirt too long; sweater too short. What is the point of a belly-baring sweater, anyway? Sweaters are by definition warm. SWEATer, get it? Of course dumb Donkey would track down and sport the most hideous pill-y abomination available. She looks seriously developmentally challenged in that balloon picture.

  10. Who actually attends this thing? Pre-schoolers? Donkey almost pulled off a look quasi-decently…and then the yellow sunglasses. At least she was smart enough to cover her footwear, which no doubt are those ugly velcro wedges. Also, still making up false over-heard conversations. People who attend real conferences aren’t looking for or comparing anything to “hug.” Just stop.
    I saw VCs tweet about this, wonder what their exit strategy is (eye roll) because there’s no way the profitability is sustainable so duping someone into an acquisition is their only hope of getting back their projected ROI.

    • The JIML, who lives in OMGSF and would probably attend something like this, has soemetines compared things to “a warm hug.” It’s a stretch, but I wonder that she wasn’t the overheard convo (if it is real; if it’s from the mind of Julia, then all the more evidence that she and the JIML are the same).

  11. I wonder if all the “colors bright” and opportunities to pose soothed Donkey that she’ll never be like Brit & Dave – OMG married, mega rich, have conferences with microphones that really work.

    • It also gave her another opportunity to cozy up to Dave. I would not be surprised if she thinks a Caeli/Rain situation is possible down the road if she keeps sending out the right signals.

  12. Jess Magic was having a Chico’s kind of day, it seems.

    This whole thing looks more like a bad root canal than a warm hug to me.

  13. You know this was a theriouth bithness event if Jess the caterwauler was chosen to provide the entertainment.

    If any investors had any doubts, I am sure they all opened their checkbooks the minute they heard her melodious voice!

  14. Do adults really subscribe to this ?
    You get a box of junk in the mail & then you play with it? That’s the business?

    Talk about “tech” Bubble! Holy shitstorm a’comin!! ????

    • Bubble popped in 2008 but I agree a storm is a-coming.

    • It’s the opposite of creative. Greg forbid you go to a store and talk to a human being about which colored pencil is best or how to paint clay.

      NONE of my crafty, DIYer friends would go to this. They’d be like, “Why don’t we just get together and make stuff?”

  15. I actually like the skirt and love the color but would never wear something that length to anything like this.

    Less Princess Leia (who could give a shit about wacky crafts) and more psuedo-Bjork.

    • I don’t hate the skirt either, and it’s probably the closest to an on-trend outfit than Julie has worn in a long time.

      But it’s so different from the current boho festival look she has been unsuccessfully aping for some time now, and so different from the ModCloth kinderwhore look that she trots out for events like this (like last year) that I can’t help but wonder who she’s SWFing now, because then we’ll know who the new mark is.

    • I’m all for long skirts (used to wear them all the time and like them almost floor length) but it’s the way Donk is wearing it that turns it tragic. Who needs to sweep their floor when Donk’s ridiculously long skirt will do the job.
      It’s probably because, like always, she’s too cheap to have things tailored or taken up.

      MidwesternVC, very interesting theory.
      Can’t wait to see who the next victim, oops I mean sister, is.

    • RRR, i was also thinking she was channeling bjork, except the icelandic pixie-songstress has way more talent.

        • Did she Columbus Bjork?

          “Oh, yeah, there is this really cool chic, from Iceland, and she makes this AMAZEBALLS music, and wails and sings and dances and does some pretty cool videos too, and her outfits, OMG, her outfits, she once showed up at the Oscars dressed as a chicken. For real!!
          What’s her name? Bjon? Brok? Bjork!! Bjork!! She is soooo burning-man.
          It’s pronounced bee-ork, BTW”

    • look, as a masculine, i don’t know much about this fashion stuff, but i thought that nobody else at a wedding is supposed to wear white when the bride is wearing white, otherwise it looks like you are competing for attention

      given that the host of the event was wearing yellow, does the same code apply?

  16. Interesting, Julie didn’t mention she was an “investor” this time.

    • You’d think with the close relationship she shares with Dave & Brit – inviting herself over to their home and making sure to lick their asses on FB afterwards – Donkey would be counting these two among her illustrious clients. Believe me, if she were actually working with these two, or with anyone, she’d have posted it all over FB.

      • Something is so off about this whole thing that has my Spidey senses tingling like a Shit-Showshanti cold sore at an orgy.

        These type of speaker events are venture capital costly (a sign of desperate startups) and not a well-developed one, which is consistent enough but why would investors put up with this misuse of money? Perhaps need help “socially.” Hmmm attractive women with zero talent and men with money? Who ever would be attracted to such an event?

        Fourth year for this two day event (Summit-Red Flag) and Festival, yet no exit strategy in site for investors? I’m sure there is one, but who would buy this Pinhead’s Pinterest board come to life startup?

        Not enough Valtrex to stop this tingling.

          • Her bio is not even proofread, and she is proud of her connection to right-wing wacko and Trump supporter Peter Thiel.

            Why doesn’t she ask the Donald what he thinks about “social entrepreneurs” that “spread magic” like herself?

          • Nice head shot, did Brit veto the giving head shot?

          • I’m sure all those people are loving having their names dropped after she crashed whatever conference/party with her caterwauling.

          • You know things are headed south with jess the mess can you imagine the straight up lies. Her bio states Elon musk good grief another looney.

  17. Are those safety glasses to wear while “crafting?” Or does she think she’s Bono? Whatever the case, she looks so, so stupid.

        • That’s an interesting thought: just where will they end up? I can see them 1) being donated to be auctioned by Ditz & Co for some “good cause,” then 2) won by a sole (schill) bidder for about $100 (minimum bid), then 3) ending up in landfill, and finally 4) being written off as a giant $$$ donation on Ditz & Co’s tax returns. That’s generally how those things work.

      • i would have chosen vhs tapes as a media over cassette tapes…

        but i am probably bias

      • Gilly, can I send you a photo of cassette tapes re-purposed right? Something in a costume in a show I saw tonight…

  18. How is a Birchbox being creative?

    #hailcorporate #shill #itscreativebecauseisaidso

  19. Donkey just FB queried about those going to Summit at Sea. Will we be subjected to more goofy yoga demonstrations and Sapphic poses with Jaaaahaaas? Useless Donkey Is Useless.

    • Isn’t it sad that Julie still uses the Facebook as her only social tool?

      Hasn’t “social media” morphed into Snapchat (whatevs) and
      Instagram & Twitter??

      My FB feed is clogged up with other OLD’S birthdays, travel, Trump gaffes.
      Nothing really serious, or scoldy like Julie, and I can happily go days without checking and not miss a thing.

  20. That Princess Lay-a-Donk hairdon’t is undoubtedly for a wallet who’s into Star Wars — just wait ’til it unfolds & we learn whose GF Donk was SWF’g this week.

    Those yellow glasses — is Donk currently snow-blinded by her white privilege? There just isn’t any other excuse for ’em unless she stole ’em for a souvenir. #BeltNevah4get

  21. Who’s the woman in the pic below Jahhhsss/3rd pic from the top? I’m going to pretend she’s Drunk Kelly Ayotte.

    “Drunk Kelly Ayotte s’gonna essplain some things tooya.”

  22. 5th fauxto down, the one that shows how Donk’s slip sits too far down below the skirt’s waistband — further proof that she has no fashion sense & is too stupid to dress herself.

    • At least she was wearing a slip? Thinking positively here! J/k, thank you for pointing it out. I was personally too distracted by the gray-haired lady’s yellow dress in that photo; *how* is that even staying on?
      Can’t say I have ever seen such a lewk at a conference of any sort, but then again I’ve not been to many conferences. Is this at all normal or is another California thing (rhetorical question, probably)?

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