Shocking True Confession: Julia Allison Can’t Say No To Medjool Dates!

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From 12-steppin’ Judy:

I’ve been addicted to sugar my entire life, and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to kick it for YEARS. Since I’m quite healthy, it manifested as a predilection for mejool dates, or raw honey, or chocolate, or fruit … but I always knew that the short kick of energy & pleasure sugar gave me ended up running me down and making me sick & tired in the end.

In the last month, since going on the Candida diet (no sugar whatsoever, including fruit), I’ve actually managed to get off of sugar crack consistently FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.

But yesterday, I felt anxious and overwhelmed, and fell totally off the wagon.

Then this morning I found this:

http://gabbybernstein.com/5-tips-to-quit-sugar-the-spirit-…/

I never thought to say a prayer!

So smart.

How do you stay strong with kicking an addiction?

Any tips for la donk? How do YOU stay away from Franzia & Cheetos?

julia-cake

138 COMMENTS

  1. ‘no fruit’s sounds not healthy? Have I been healthing wrong? What about all those vitamins and fiber you miss out on?

    • Yeah, I eat blueberries for the fiber. Bizarre that she’s lumping cantaloupes in with chocolate.

      • Those mejool dates she loves have about 18g of carbs per date. That is a freaking shit-ton of sugar, natural or not, and everyone knows nobody just eats one of those things.

    • The idea is that even fruit feeds the Candida yeast.

      This is bullshit for pretty much everyone except immunocompromised people like transplant patients, though. Donkey’s problems are not about Candida.

      • One of her problems are that she is running out of excuses for not having a job or even any hobbies outside of Googling her own name and going to goddess flickfests. A month-long diet that eliminates sugar gives her an excuse for being a lazy layabout with her forty-something unemployed boyfriend. Plus, it gives her something to post about besides how it’s everyone else’s fault that the polar bears are dying and we don’t all live in communities with the likes of Ali Shanti and 14 people named Rainbow.

      • Candida is this year’s gluten. Orthorexics love a fad.

        Unrelated, I rarely think of the Donkey much these days, but the other day a student said, “You can’t have a rainbow without rain.” I thought, “Poor Judy. The Rainbow NEVER comes before the Rain.” I giggled. Because who thinks Judy can actually have an orgasm? Newp.

    • Pretty sure every legit nutritionist on earth strongly advocates for people to eat more fruit. Our bodies are designed for it, and it’s good for us. Donks is such a moron, again. And such a liar, acting like dates and figs are her secret vices. To cover up something nastier, I’m sure.

      CINDY McCAIN’s GIRL SCOUT COOKIES DIDN’T WALK OUT OF THAT FREEZER BY THEMSELVES, DONKEY. She still hates you for that. I do too.

    • Twelve cupcakes at once?! Honey, please see someone. We’re worried and don’t want anything to derail marriage to OMG! Rain. Yes, sometimes I just know when I know.

  2. Serious question: I follow Julia on Facebook but obviously am not her friend on there since we don’t know each other. But she poses questions the way public figures do on their FB pages asking for feedback from her followers, but only her approved friends can comment…how did Wali get through to comment with his emojis showing his undying love? I understand she doesn’t want us sugar addicted fatties calling her out on her every move on the FB, but she crowd sources as if she were an open book, when clearly she is not. Basically, how does she get to claim all those followers but not have to actively engage (or monitor her page) the way other delusional public figures on Facebook do?

    • Don’t know but I’m more interested in the dearth of responses. Donkey posted this cri de coeur nearly three hours ago and has received only one comment.

      • I’m willing to bet if she let her followers comment she would get more of a discussion, but then she’d have to actually engage with the unwashed masses and that is so not her thing.

        • Silly rabbit, she doesn’t want discussions. She wants to talk at people in a sanctimonious tone feeding the smug beast to mask her insecurities. A discussion may run the risk of being held accountable. Can’t have that.

    • She tagged 45 people on that post??? Over mispronunciation of her fake last name? Jesus Christ, get over yourself.

      Oh and Jena La Flamme, word of advice: insurance fraud – you’re doing it wrong.

      • She just went in and tagged more people! Including all the usual suspects: Shantitown, Noodles, The Caterwauler, Kc Baker, Ariel White, etc.

        Annie Lalala’s sister just wrote:

        Sacha Lalla Love you Jena, your fierce heart and stand for women accepting themselves is palpable.
        One of my most favourite posts to date!

        Oh go munch on some MDMA with the rest of your wack family.

        • One might think that “accepting yourself” includes not changing your name to la Flamme, Ali Shanti, or some other name that invokes a culture that does not belong to you. But these people do not think.

    • Posted this in the comments of the last thread:

      “La Flamme rhymes with the word ‘balm.’ Yet, a lot of people get it wrong and pronounce it la Phlegm.”

      Uhhhhm, nope. Way to appropriate MY culture, Jena. Mama Sad Rat is Quebecois and this is a very common surname in her neck of the woods. It’s pronounced exactly the same way Jena says it isn’t pronounced because the French Canadian accent is very different from the French accent, unless you’ve migrated south of the border to Vermont or Maine and have “Anglicized” it so that Flamme rhymes with “Flame.”

    • Well, she’s solved one mystery for me. Now, I just need to know how she pronounces Jena. Is it Jenna or Gina?

      I’ve been calling her Jenna LaFlame in my head all these years. I never lost sleep over it.

    • Sounds like RBD was the star at camp septic’s burning man this year. They really should send the basement a fruit basket (no risk of Candida-free Julia licking it).

      • JFA’ing cutting down on the carnie cock may also solve that candida problem.

    • I noted “itching anus” is one of the hundreds of symptoms of Candida Albicans, a disease that no one has ever heard of.

      • Candida albicans is the yeast that causes vaginal yeast infections. Usually women get this from taking antibiotics and killing off the normal bacteria that keep them in check, or are predisposed to the infection by taking birth control pills or wearing a lot of tight clothing that doesn’t “breathe.” (Hello, synthetic yoga wear.)

        Some woo types believe they have an overgrowth of Candida in their gut due to a list of vague catch-all symptoms that really could be anything. It is quack science for the most part.

        • It’s been co-opted by grifters to sell to loons who’ll fall for anything, just like the massive uptick in people who’re now selectively gluten-sensitive (DONKEY!), but it’s really truly common in cancer patients, AIDs patients, transplant patients & people who get cathed. Basically, anyone whose immune sys is compromised. And people w/ catheters, but I forget the why of the latter.

          • Yes, this is correct.

            People who regularly use catheters tend to take a lot of antibiotics because they can get frequent and pretty serious urinary tract infections. I remember this from working in a health center lab, most of the bacteria they’d get was Proteus, which is super nasty.

          • I wasn’t even thinking of Foley caths — CVC & PICC lines are problematic for candida in the bloodstream, due pretty often to contaminants in a hospital setting (aka ‘community-acquired’).

            Back to quackery: Gabby Bernstein, who Donk links to, is a happiness guru. In this video, soon as she starts shaking her head NO while prattling her pitch (classic tell of a liar), I stopped listening, but not before I heard “pineal gland”. LOL, never change, Donk! http://gabbybernstein.com/5-tips-to-quit-sugar-the-spirit-junkie-way/qw

            Oh, look: Gabby charges a mere $10k to speak & Marianne Williamson is her mentor. ::sigh:: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2012-12-13/gabrielle-bernstein-guru-to-young-professional-women

            Gabby takes her candida lead from Ann Boroch, medical miracle who cured herself of MS. First Ann cured herself, then she trained herself to be a medical professional! Well, a naturorpath.

            Wikipedia sums it up: ‘A 2005 publication noted that “a large pseudoscientific cult” has developed around the topic of Candida, with claims up to one in three people are affected by yeast-related illness, particularly a condition called “Candidiasis hypersensitivity”. Some practitioners of alternative medicine have promoted these purported conditions and sold dietary supplements as supposed cures; a number of them have been prosecuted. In 1990, alternative health vendor Nature’s Way signed an FTC consent agreement not to misrepresent in advertising any self-diagnostic test concerning yeast conditions or to make any unsubstantiated representation concerning any food or supplement’s ability to control yeast conditions, with a fine of $30,000 payable to the National Institutes of Health for research in genuine candidiasis.’

      • Maybe that’s why his FB status indicates single? He’d come to be terrified of what he might find in her clam dungeon.

    • Was reading, involuntarily looked over my shoulder when someone
      knocked on the door — mistakenly thought that said ‘chin mold’ ….

    • I have experience quitting sugar and it was fucking hard. I eat dark chocolate and fruit now. But when shit was really bad for me I couldn’t eat, say, dried apricots. So I understand the “no fruit” thing.

      However her “tips” are total bullshit. The main thing you have to be able to do in order to stop eating sugar is NEVER LEAVE YOUR GODDAM HOUSE and make everything you eat by yourself.

      That clearly leaves Julia Allison out of it.

      But pretty much every food on, say, a Chinese restaurant buffet has some sugar in it. I never did find a place I could reliably eat out at. (Not that I normally go to Chinese buffet but it was pretty amazing to see how there was nothing I could eat there besides maybe the steamed rice.) Most restaurants, the sauces have sugar. Most deli meats have sugar. Most prepared BROTHS have sugar.

      It is hard as hell to quit, because you have to cook everything yourself, from scratch. Like, plop the chicken in the water type scratch.

      • I don’t eat sugar or processed crap; I eat meat/fish/chicken and veg; I avoid bread and pasta; I eat fruit and veg

        Not that difficult

          • i make sauces — butter, olive oil, garlic; tomatoes; i cook from scratch. i buy protein and i buy produce; i don’t buy things that come in boxes.

          • I mean obviously I do too. It gets really exhausting not being able to eat any prepared food at all though. I made my son’s birthday cake and couldn’t even taste it, not even lick a dab of frosting off my fingers. I can’t go out with my mom to a pizza place.

            It’s totally possible to make literally everything you eat 24-7-365 from scratch, sure. It’s just not the way the world is set up (let’s meet at the buffet!) (birthdays!!) (barbecue!!) and I find it very very tiring.

            You probably eat more sugar than you think you do unless you really do just eat those four things you mentioned.

          • so, like I said, you leave everything unsauced. It’s cool, I’m not trying to trip you up and you clearly eat at the higher end places, but for an average pizza/Chinese/hamburger place, there’s sugar in the dough and there’s sugar in the sauce. Difficult. If you go to a restaurant and order completely plain fish and salad, which I have done, yeah you can get it without sugar. It’s not impossible. It just gets boring after weeks and weeks of it.

  3. 12 likes/1 comment isn’t too bad for an obnoxious humblebrag + a tacked-on question that obviously only exists to make it all look less humblebraggy.

    • Really? If I’d posted an identical confession complete with tacked-on question, I would have received dozens of responses.

      • Coming from a person without this MO, the message would look more like “I’m struggling, please help.” But JA is ALWAYS using these “asks” to prop herself up. She needs to cut her terrible addiction to fruit! Get an EA! Find the best “holistic” vet in San Francisco! In other words, she’s super healthy, super important, and spares no expense for her beloved dog!

        Even the people who let her keep them around have got to be a little sick of it.

          • This is what gets me. Beyond a like or a “great point :)” she does very little actual engagement for all the stuff she spews on Facebook all day.

          • And let us never forget that this scoldy, humblebraggy, self-contained FB stream of consciousness is Judy’s platform! Paradigms shifted, all right.

  4. Has anyone noticed how she keeps underscoring, in some way, how healthy she is in all of her posts? It keeps jumping out at me.

    It reminds me of the people who constantly change their FB profile picture because every time they do they get a bunch of comments about how beautiful and stunning they are.

    • I think it is remarkable how many times she has come across medjool dates whipped into pastel colored cupcake frosting over the years.

    • I know this is not a real disorder DSM-wise, but I think she has what is being called orthorexia, meaning an obsessive fixation on healthy eating. I think she’s had obsessive eating issues much of her life, and this is just the next in the series. Dietary indulgences seem to be a source of shame for her. I do wonder sometimes where all this originated from.

  5. The cake-licking photo remains the single most disgusting pic of her for me. (I’m not counting the janky, dirty, fake YSL’s because I can’t see her plastic face in it.)

  6. I love Gabby Bernstein. Fuck her. She can’t ruin Gabby for me. Stay in your own lane, Julie.

    • This. Gabby is wooey but I know multiple (sane) women who say that her books and classes helped them get through divorces, stay sober, or recover emotionally from abusive relationships (note: all these women simultaneously were in real therapy, which Gabby does not denounce or disavow in any way the way many woo types do). If it’s possible for any of these life coach/guru types to be the real deal, I think Gabby tops the list.

  7. Jenn la phlegm is ugly inside and out, in fact not one of the woos have any talent, empathy, beauty, charisma or kindness.

  8. Does Dr. Bobby make house calls for crotch rot? Sounds like she needs a shower, a strong antibiotic and again cutting down on the carnie cock.

    • Greg only knows what kind of disease she picked up at Burning Man!

      But, of course, it’s not her fault, it’s FRUIT’s fault!

      Bad, bad, fruit.

  9. So let me see if I understand this:
    She’s a vegan.
    She’s gluten free.
    She doesn’t eat sugar.
    She doesn’t eat fruit.
    She’s on a Candida diet.

    Only an unemployed person with someone else paying the bills could do this. Plus, LIAR.

    • She probably cycles through all of these off-and-on, but I feel 100% confident calling bullshit on the veganism. Vegan in public? Maybe mostly. At home, when she’s ordering in? Not a chance.

    • It’s been years since she’s brought up her ceiling cats (celiac) disease, diagnosed if I recall by some non-M.D. woo in NYC. Big sympathy ploy, diet change, etc., but eventually she dropped it. Never too late for a replay, Judy!

      There was also her infamous twitter rampage—“sugar should be illegal”, etc.—she was concerned for everyone’s health, of course, but really because Judy couldn’t exercise enough self-control to put down the fucking cupcakes. She won’t get help for her underlying issues, so it’s just hilarious how her little self-control problem becomes in her head a universal statement about the human condition that she simply must share with the world.

      • The doc whose name she was using in vain was a legit doc, but she at the same time was pushing BPC on Twitter & when asked (repeatedly) if Dr. So&So recommended / approved BPC for ceiling cats, she dodged. Repeatedly. Imagine that,

        There was also so bs story she told about the subway on the day of her “test” for ceiling cats, anyone remember it? Maybe she said she fell down the stairs from the anesthesia? Something bs like that, ’cause docs don’t let ya leave alone after anesthesia.

    • The other day she was “90% vegan”.

      In donkey’s mind, if you eat a steak with a salad on the side, that’s a 50% vegan meal.

      If you eat two meals like that, 50 + 50 = 100, 100% veganism achieved!

  10. I hope she can still have MeDjool dates, which are delicious.

    Way to misspell the thing you’re addicted to, Donkey.

    • That was just a fluke. Her word muscles were tired out from her use of “manifested as a predilection” immediately previous.

      • that “manifested as a predilection” stopped me colder than the medjool issue. Classic Donkinese.

    • Please note I kept that misspelling in the header, though I knew it was wrong, honestly I did …

  11. What is the difference between raw honey & honey. Isn’t honey honey, honey?

    I’ve got a couple of bee keepers in my eclipse so we always just have … honey. Please let me know if I’m wrong.

      • honey in a jar, just honey, vs. honey with the comb; woos and crunchies will tell you the latter is superior to the former

        whatevs

      • Judy saying “raw honey” is her signaling that HER honey is fancy health-food-store honey, not plebeian supermarket honey. Because she’s “quite healthy” as if your pancreas responds better to expensive honey than cheap honey, honey.

        The way she put it sounds like she just eats honey out of the jar with a spoon. Which, considering the fabled Christmas Eve “chocolate syrup from the second fridge” binge, may be the case.

  12. Ariel tried to have a deep thought:

    Ariel White
    11 hrs ·
    before any of us get too attached to any of our beliefs… let us remember: EVERYTHING in the world was MADE UP by SOMEBODY.

  13. So, Donkey has decided to surrender her sugar addiction to the great sky wizard, a la a 12 trot program. Just one hoofprint closer to Born-Again Prosperity Gospel Donkey, the logical next equine iteration.

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