The Return of Baugher Bingo: Burning Man Edition

Can our burro win this BM, bunnies? The game and the wallet?

If you can’t play BM bingo on the playa, here’s a downloadable version to play at home in the basement. You’ll have to provide your own Franzia and Cheetos.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By11t91IkigBZ0w2bkRGeDVlUzA/view

Mem’ries, light the (tiny) corners of Donk’s mind:

151 COMMENTS

  1. I have mentioned before here that I used to go to Rainbow gatherings. They were full of dirty hippies but it was good clean dirty hippieness. You would never see dildos as décor, nor expect an unexpected shirtcock. Heck, they didn’t even let alcohol past base camp. It was a lot more egalitarian and safe than this commercialized bullshit.

    • I also went to gatherings, was on Dead tour in my teens. This was the early and mid 90s. Honestly, it was a different country. A completely different nation. We were analog based, i.e. photography was shot with film, which has changed. I believe the newer technology has helped exploit and destroy the counter culture of America. It gives access to those who don’t have true core values. Obviously, the counter culture is now a photo shoot for the squares. The scene back then was far more underground. I saw a limousine get traded for two pounds of Mexican marijuana. That’s just one example. There were also an entire group of people who believed it was their mission from God to distribute LSD. They are mostly gone now. Fast Eddy died a few years ago. The Wrecking Crew must be largely disbanded / elderly. Again, that America no longer exists.

      • Well, the counter culture was always a photoshoot. I used to squat in New Orleans and we’d have tourists taking pictures of us. Like, “Oh the garden club back in Sheboygan will love these snaps of gutter punks!”

        And I hate blaming “technology” for things….

        But you do make an excellent point. The more cameras are around the more people will act like they’re on camera. For many women that might mean dressing and posing as alluringly as possible. For many men that might mean shirtcocking.

        I remember the LSD spiritual people. Your limousine story is amazing! Tell us more!

        • When I was a little kid my parents went to San Francisco and brought home photos of hippies they had taken as their driver took them through Haight Ashbury (windows rolled up, I am sure). The hippies in the photos were wearing love beads and flashing peace signs! So exotic.

          We moved west to the peninsula a couple of years later and our big treat was to go to the city for dinner and then drive through North Beach to look at the strip clubs on the way home.

      • I got on the bus around 87-88, and even then it felt late to me (although it doesn’t matter when it happens to you)… but it makes is all the more ridonkulous to me that this polyester poseur thinks she’s so “bohemian” for getting a nose piercing in 2015, and that she thinks Burning Man is some edgy new thing that only she and the radical outliers have just discovered.

        • I can totally see that, but the 80s scene was weird because of disco and the materialism of that decade. I feel like the 90s were actually a return, a retro, back to 60s and the original energy. I do not have much interest in BM or the Donkey’s experiences, but I can tell you there is a certain magic, especially when you’re 17 going across the nation with 10,000 + other people, going to shows with 25,000+. The energy of that nomadic community is electric.

          • I suspect that nothing at BM can compare to the parking lot. Donk thinks BM is the ne plus ultra, but there are things that Donk doesn’t even know about

    • There’s an horrifically bad Netflix Original called “XOXO”, described as such: ‘The lives of six strangers collide during a frenetic night of romance and dream chasing when a young DJ is given a chance to perform at a festival.’ in which lead female Sarah Hyland (presumably around 21 but seemingly 16) briefly considers wearing those very boots to the festival, until her friends-who-don’t-let-friends-rave-donk wisely talked her out of it — t’was its only redeeming quality.

  2. The Rainbow 7-day costume it has to be the single worst costume idea in the history of mankind.

    It’s not a rainbow unless you have a time machine and you can see the seven versions of Debbie & Donkey wearing the seven colors at the same time.

    Otherwise, it’s just a Donkey and a failed chef dressed in yellow, or red, or green or whatever color they were wearing that day.

      • You know she raged herself into apoplexy when Derpin mistakenly wore his yellow hot pants on orange day: “It’s orange day!!! ORANGE!!! I’ve planned this for months! I’m exhausted, I need to go to the ashram!!” *stomps hooves* “Daddy, tell him to wear ORANGE!!!”

      • Also idea stolen from another just like the Barbie from childhood. She so transparently craves people telling her how great her stolen ideas are when I’ve never seen her do anything remotely original.

  3. I thank Greg for my slow Internet connection today that is preventing me from seeing that “opening ceremony” video.

    Amen, brothers and sisters.

        • Also, Bry & Jen show up and the vid closes with Skankatron in the frame. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to believe that such delusional folks actually exist.

  4. There’s a somewhat bizarre stereotype here that women who wear flowers in their hair are nuts. I still haven’t worked all of it out, but I know it comes from symbolism used in old movies. It always seemed such an odd thing to make into a taboo (women still won’t wear flower hairpins or crowns because of it) until I had a closer look at these BM photos. Maybe they are onto something.

    • This intrigues me, so off to google I went.

      http://www.mykoreanhusband.com/flower-in-my-hair/
      ‘I see that sort of relation in some books and shows around here, except it’s usually placed in a positive light rather than a negative one (suggesting that the character is still blooming and that can be a good thing).’

      http://www.cnn.com/2015/09/14/asia/china-sprout-hair-clips-trend/
      ‘Another piece of trivia: In Chinese folklore, putting grass into someone’s hair could signify a wish to sell oneself or one’s children due to poverty.’

      http://v1.asianconnections.com/business/angi_ma_wong/amw_colors/index.php
      ‘To the Chinese, on the contrary, it is unlucky to wear blue flowers or ribbons in one’s hair and a sign of mourning for women is to wear a blue yarn flower bobby-pinned on their tresses. The blue which printers call reflex blue, also known as ultramarine blue, is the funeral color worn by many Chinese.’

      ‘Yellow chrysanthemums are a funeral flower to Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans.’

      ‘Some Japanese do not like receiving a potted plant if they are hospital patients, for the roots signify a long stay. For them, cut flowers which will quickly wilt and die means that they will recover and home just as quickly. The opposite is true for many Chinese who view cut flowers as funeral (especially those yellow or white chrysanthemums) and would prefer potted plants instead.’

      https://mrsdaffodildigresses.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/strange-flower-superstitions-in-many-lands/

      • Brayella, I’m glad you find this stuff interesting, too (a catlady after my own heart). There’s a poem by So Chong-ju called “Beside a Chrysanthemum” that becomes infinitely more readable once you know that the chrysanthemum is a funeral flower here:

        To bring one chrysanthemum to flower
        The cuckoo has cried since spring.

        To bring one chrysanthemum to bloom
        Thunder has rolled
        Through the black clouds.

        Flower, like my sister returning
        From distant, youthful byways
        Of throat-tight longing
        To stand by the mirror:

        For your yellow petals to open,
        Last night such a frost fell,
        And I could not sleep

    • i thought it was just because the insta girls and anyone over the age of 7 who flower crowns = nuts so don’t be like them

    • It comes from Victorian interpretations of Ophelia on stage – she was usually shown with the flowers from her mad speech garlanded in her hair and about her dress.

      Art Nouveau fondness for flowers included the use of the poppy as a headdress to show the wild or unbalanced behavior associated with opiates.

      The primrose, the bluebell and the pansy were all associated with fairies in the Celtic Revival of the late 1890s and the fairies of that movement were no cute little Tinkerbells. They would cut a bitch.

      • That’s really interesting, especially as it’s likely unrelated but parallel to this country’s deal with flowers in the hair.

        I’ve heard a lot of theories, from women who were grieving allegedly going mad and sticking flowers plucked from the grass all through their hair in real life to the substantially more likely film trope theory. There was definitely a film that came out in 2005 that played off the idea, but from what I understand, it goes back much further than that.

        There are a few pop cultural degrees of separation between that old trope and this, but here you can see demonstrators against the FTA and American beef imports during the mad cow disease scare holding signs that depict what came to be the universal symbol of the protests: http://www.moonemi.com/image/nongmin/crazy_cow061104.jpg

        Crazy American cows, in other words.

        Brayella, your first link is the relevant one in this case, and as best I can work out, it is a somewhat sexist stereotype related to women who are supposedly easily distracted (by pretty things like flowers) and who fail to maintain proper decorum (and therefore appearances) in public. Basically. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with the idea that not giving a flying fuck what other people think of you means you’re a few cards short of a deck.

        Wow, this is really off topic.

        • Again, I think the profound and primary link is to Ophelia. Decking flowers in one’s hair was seen, in Shakespeare’s time as now, as the activity of a small child – and Ophelia is tragically trying to block out the horror of her father’s death by “distracting” herself with the pleasures of her childhood. Her babble of flowers and their folk/mythological meaning grows in horror when we see it as the prating of a six-year old in the mouth of a woman of age. Gertrude’s whispered words at the funeral, “sweets to the sweet”, accompany her delivery of a bouquet of flowers (“sweets” in Elizabethan times, rather than candy) that seeks to normalize the “mad speech” and restore it to an acceptable level of beauty.

          The fairie meanings for flowers as sources of danger predate Ophelia and the Art Nouveau comes afterward, but both reflect this general idea of evil, madness and despair.

      • OPHELIA
        There’s fennel for you, and columbines.—There’s rue for you, and here’s some for me. We may call it “herb of grace” o’ Sundays.—Oh, you must wear your rue with a difference.—There’s a daisy. I would give you some violets, but they withered all when my father died. They say he made a good end (sings) For bonny sweet Robin is all my joy—

      • When I am in warm places I try to wear loose breathable clothing made of natural materials, and even then I get a bit sweaty. The very thought of putting on a pair of skin tight Saran Wrap panties and marching around the desert all day makes me itchy. I can not even imagine what the RV smells like at the end of the day.

      • It must be exhausting, clicking on all those color variations on Yandy. But such is the life of a bohemian artist.

          • I have no doubt Gilly could have come up with one specifically for Donkey that was just as funny.

          • I totally agree, Grifty. I thought this one was written by our darling Gilly because it is so funny, and so is she. I only said it was better because it is so accurate concerning Julia and her dumb friends, and written by an independent source.

          • Aw, so sweet. If only I had time to do a bingo card! Work has been a bitch and I need a vacation. Maybe Peter Baugher could send me to a smelly, druggy, dusty burner fest?

  5. Until today, I had no idea what shirt-cocking was.

    Thank you, RBD, the most educational blog on the whole damned Internet!

  6. I don’t know how but I actually forgot about the self-wedding and it was beautiful to see it here in all its glory.

    • She took it seriously! the fauxtos kill me because she’s going through the motions of that charade as if she was an actual, real bride marrying another human being. There isn’t a hint of parody, sarcasm or irony in that whole performance. Burra was getting married and damn if she wasn’t going to have a proper ceremony. It’s probably on the top 3 of saddest things she’s ever done publicly.

      • She could at least have picked a more Burning Man-type outfit. This polyester Chinese mess is the definition of MOOP.

        • She wanted to be a bride, goddamn it. This was her chance to have the poofy white gown and the veil. I agree that this might have been her saddest moment.

          • What is particularly sad is that she didn’t believe in any of the reasons she pushed to have this in the first place. She went on to steal someone else’s boyfriend and then gloat about it. She still wants the rich husband and the other material trappings she always has.

          • Sad, too, in that she alerted the media and no one gave a shit. I think she got a mention in Defamer or Jezebel and that was it.

          • Like, how do you get to a point in your life where ALERTING THE MEDIA to your SELF WEDDING is a thing you do?

  7. That self-wedding picture looks like a bad knock-off of A Chorus Line

    “One simpleton sensation, every little bray she makes …”

          • The fact that one insipid, attention-seeking, barely famous nincompoop managed to bring together a group of women of this caliber on the internet is truly a wonder of the modern age.

            Without the internet, there would be no Julia Allison, but without Julia Allison, there would be no basement. It’s as if the silver lining were the entire sun.

  8. Any predictions on how much longer BM will exist? Because this year Paris Hilton is going, and if there’s one person who signifies the ass-end of American cultural trends more than Julia, it’s Paris.

    • I loved reading about the bottom of the barrel celebrity trash making their way to BM this year. Parasite Hilton was Donkey’s idol back in the day – when she was a college senior, fer chrissake – and it’s as though we’ve come full circle.

      • Maybe she will go into journalist mode and interview her old idol! I hope she brought her fake NBC mike to the playa …

      • I can picture Judy running around BM trying to find Paris, thinking that she will become her new BFF. #RandiWho?

        She will try to fake her way into ‘elite’ plug n play camps in an effort to find Paris. I would pay to see her be laughed out and quickly ejected. Can you imagine the self-promotion and exaggeration of her ‘fame’, connections and ‘accomplishments’ in an effort to OBO anyone (make or female) even tangentially associated with Paris to try to make it to her?

        “OMG your name is Paris and I’ve BEEN to Paris!!! We have SOOOO much in common! Here, look at this Slideshow of me standing on stairs in Paris. I art directed the shoot, I’m so creative! I could be your Facebook profile picture consultant! Tee hee haw.”

  9. OT/Handbag IRL recommend a new netflix documentary Who Took Johnny, a tragically haunting story about a boy who was suspected of being sold into human trafficking & his mother’s fight to expose the system. He was the first milk carton kid.
    I’m sure I’m not doing it justice (and don’t want to steal HB’s thunder) but it’s really well done.
    https://www.netflix.com/search/who%20took%20?jbv=80057280&jbp=0&jbr=0

  10. OT: L.A. lunatic Annaliese Nielsen has popped up a couple of times on my FB page during the last 24 hours. That vocal fry! So very Skankatron 3000B! FYI: Lauren Southern is a right-leaning Liberatarian, but I know my kittens have an open mind. NOW LAUGH, DAMMIT!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LdmBqJLYcU

    • I saw this trainwreck this AM and just KNEW that this shit went down in California. Gotta love when homegirl is all ready to lecture him on his white privilege and the dude pipes up, “I’m ASIAN.”

      Also? Referring to Hawaiians as Asians.

      Also? Continent of Hawaii.

      Even if Gawker were still around, they’d definitely run this video, but not for the reasons they think.

      Finally, Annaliese can fuck right off with her notions of inclusiveness when she herself runs an invite-only social networking group.

      • She also runs some sort of alterna porn site. Do you think she dictates what you can and cannot like sexually?

        • Here’s the thing! I don’t know too much about native Hawaiian culture – I’m not Hawaiian, and therefore it’s not my place to make claims about what might offend them or not, ANNELIESE. But plenty of well-intentioned, “fun” items have certainly ended up being offensive to the cultures they appropriate. The point she sought to bring up with the Lyft driver is not 100% crazy (although, she’s def reaching, IMO).

          HOWEVER, she could have brought it up in a way which encouraged dialogue. “Have you ever driven any Hawaiian people in your car? Have they commented on it? What do they say?” Possibly, the driver might have come to the conclusion himself that a hula girl figurine might mean different things for different people.

          Instead, this woman wanted to come at this man from a position of superiority and judgment, but then wanted to appeal to a larger authority – in her case, the blogosphere – to actually do the dirty work of doling out the punishment for his imagined crimes. She’s the worst kind of person. This is the sort of person who reposts article after article about police brutality on Facebook, but never makes it out to a single protest or organizing event. Because we “need to have a serious conversations about race in this country!” But of course, “we” actually means “someone else; I’m too busy using other people’s narratives to develop my own personal brand.” Such is the life of the SJW.

          • A sane person would have, at some point, come to the conclusion that a tiny figure in a car who is not yours are that you are only using for a few minutes is not a big deal and that you should just let it go.

            Of course, not this crazy bitch, who can’t tolerate the expression of a point of view different to hers, no matter how tiny or inconsequential, and felt the need to go full-SWAT on the poor driver.

            What. A. Cunt.

    • WOW! Annaliese Nielsen is batshit insane! STFU!

      Ima steal this line, in case I’m ever asked who sells a metric ton of plastic hula girl bobbleheads: *pinches nostrils shut* *clenches ass cheeks shut*
      “… like the connntinnnennnttttt of Haaaaa-whyyyyy-eeeeeeeeee”?

      • Americans are woefully ignorant of history and geography, but the charming Ms. Nielsen takes the latter to extremes.

        • Technically she has a point about history, but is ignorant of the fact that hula is still a huge cultural thing in HI and the bobblehead she hates might just be celebrating and honoring that culture and not mocking or denigrating it.

          Besides, anyone with a repulsive voice like that has no right to criticize anyone for anything.

      • And right after I posted the above, I noticed there is one single comment in the video:

        “She just gave herpes to the playa.”

      • One of those photos, I hate to say it, has Judy doing a skirt pull near the clay pit, maw as usual, boobs out, on the edge.

        Hey, hey, hey, St. Petey, before you ring that bell?

    • That’s pretty funny I don’t remember seeing this before. Seriously though, said as person without children, why would you ever bring an infant to a drug fest in the middle of the desert of a week?

    • Speaking of Becky, Kimora Lee Simmons in a magazine article recently was quoted as saying, “I’ll just come out and say it: I have good hair.” ………So is she Becky with the good hair?????????? I MUST KNOW. What do you all think because my dog is not sharing his opinion.

    • RUNG? Technically, I think, by one of their captions.

      My username springs from a discussion with other Burning Man-hating friends wherein we tried to list all the outrageous items that woos love to conspicuously consume. We came up with some good ones, but it was by no means an exhaustive list:

      Green juice fasts!
      Recreational colonics!
      Professional Pilates certification!
      Three sad sweet-potato fries and five stalks of sad asparagus for “dinner”!
      Prepackaged snacks made of cricket flour (aka “sad bug bars”) for lunch!
      Terrible EDM all day!
      Inappropriate items from other cultures at any time!
      Organic kale only!
      Stupidly expensive boutique coffee that had been fermented in a cat’s arse!
      Yerba maté that was not prepared or served in the traditional manner!
      Jade dildoes blessed in the shade of Macchu Picchu!
      Crystal enemas!

      Now Burning Man Hate Week is on the job, so we can retire from adding to the list and just read there. Namaste, Princess WideStance.

  11. Donkey’s playa feet just a few inches from Devin’s face … Freshly freed from their white plastic patent leather casings. Shudder.

    • I know that I am a bit tightly wound, but Julia in plastic clothing in the desert has to have all the smells.

      • Plastic clothing in the desert is no anomaly: basic RBD history tells us that Donkey has all the smells in a basic polyester frock in a basic office elevator (going nowhere.)

        • What I meant was plastic-clothing-in-the-desert stench is no anomaly…There is a rich (ripe) history of her unhygienic ways. Witness her rubbing off mascara tears with her own saliva. ON TELEVISION. And veteran PhDonk scholars will never forget the time she displayed the grubby contents of her filthy cosmetics bag to iterate her “sorta tranny make-up tricks.” Donkey is just plain dirty. And stinks accordingly.

          • P.S.: I couldn’t love Burning Man Hate Week any more if I tried. Hours of entertainment. Thx, Princess Widestance

          • Like I physically try not to do the arm-out thing, even though I know my arm will look big if I don’t. What am I posing for, something other than family pictures?

            And Sheesh, will somebody ever get tired of taking this one’s photo? By now? Somebody? (Chatter in Camp Septic: “shit, that girl wants us to take her photo 100 times. Again. Who invited her?”

  12. There is no excuse for people who bring small children into that kind of environment, grow the eff up already.

    Way to put dust in your kids lungs

    • Shanti brought her kids along to her first BM and has written several posts patting herself on the back for exposing them to dust and drugs and God knows what else.

    • I just saw that photo now and I really want someone who knows them to call child services. That little baby has been exposed to way too much dust and well, stuff no child should ever see. For the millionth time I find myself asking: WTF is wrong with these people???

      • Perhaps s/he can sue for emancipation when, by age sixteen, s/he is under constant medical supervision and his/her parents continue to fly off to Black Rock City every year. Or more often, if the plans for “‘permanent’ ‘community'” go through!

        “Sorry for your emphysema, and secondary tetanus symptoms, and the polio you contracted because we believe vaccines cause autism, honey … But what happens in BRC stays in BRC! Surely you understand. Namaste! Nurse, if anything happens while we’re gone, just bill our account, m’kay?”

  13. Btw radical self reliance is what people who live on farms far away from any city have done for centuries

    How many semi trucks did it take to bring in all those tents and pavilions and stages and equipment etc.

  14. All I can think is that Camp Mystic looks like a lame rave complete with sunburn and STDs.
    I guess all the drugs dull the inevitable regret/horror on remembering who one orgied with last night.

    • I have never been to Burning Man, but from the looks of it I’m going to assume every other “camp” or whatever they consider themselves, looks down on Camp Mystic and considers them a bunch of losers that no one else wants around.

      • What I always find amusing is that they pretend to be such dedicated burners and adhere to all the principles, yet what they are presenting there in their “educational seminars” is just thinly veiled sales pitches for their various grifty woo coaching businesses.

        They either rope in new coach candidates they can “mastermind” for big bucks, or new marks they can grift with coaching scams for whatever “shame” the marks are dealing with.

      • I met him once in like 2005. He handed me a camera as I passed by him and asked me to take a picture of him and this other lowlevel internet ‘star.’

        I guess now I know how Julie gets all those pictures of herself.

        He seemed nice enough at least.

  15. Those white boots–it can’t be possible to walk, right? That looks like 5 inches of un bendy platform.

  16. We drove through Novato, but since Judy is at Burning Man, there seemed no point to flipping a bird as we sped by.

    Someone in Valley Ford has adorable burros that were grazing right up by the road, so all y’all were on my mind.

  17. BM is the annual summer vacation for RBD. I can’t wait for the cast of characters to bring their newly acquired STDs back to Novato, Boulder, Costa Rica, and wherever else these societal barnacles live to resume digital gypsy life on Facebook and mailing lists with their freshly refined and re-energized scams.

    • Ever since it was mentioned here, I have been hoping and praying that Shanti hooks up with I LOVE YOU RAIN this BM. It would be delicious!

      Related: in a battle between Ali and Judy, my money is on Ali every day of the week.

      • Judy needs to inform Ali verbally, by memo, by telegraph, by billboard and by puppet show that I LOVE YOU RAIN is off limits…or Ali will sleep with him.

        • related — autobio of author known as john le carre, spy and son of a con artist; the infinitely more successful version of second generation lying, but with skills and self examination; nytimes review. he asks himself, how did he get here?

          • I didn’t really read it that way. Le Carre is infinitely self-knowledgeable, and decidedly not a con man.

          • Love Le Carre and will check this out.

            His father was the griftiest grifter that ever did live. A lot of it is in The Perfect Spy. Father was a narcissistic horror that seemingly exceeded Donk and Shankatron combined. The son (and author) aren’t.

          • maybe we read different reviews — this was in the nytimes this week

            Learning the arts of “evasion and deception” as survival tools when he was a boy and longing to belong to some legitimate, larger family, the young David Cornwell was a natural recruit as a spy. Joining “the secret world,” he writes, “felt like a coming home.” Looking back now on his career as a novelist, he also asks himself, “Which bits of me still belong to Ronnie”?

            “Is there really a big difference, I wonder, between the man who sits at his desk and dreams up scams on the blank page (me), and the man who puts on a clean shirt every morning and, with nothing in his pocket but imagination, sallies forth to con his victim (Ronnie)?

  18. Scamti is already leaving BM because she has a very important webcast to do! On 2 hours of sleep in two days! Do is is in one of the photos she uploaded. So is Chad.

    Anywhoo…I just came back from a large communal event–the Minnesota State Fair. It was awesome.

Comments are closed.