Judy Drops In On Petey & Robin Unannounced (Again)

My parents’ shih tzu Langdon … In the wild. Er … As wild as it gets in the ‘burbs.

I flew home to surprise my parents again this weekend!

Surprising parents = better than planning a visit. No pressure and you can change your plans last minute! This way, they’re always happy to see me … So far! 😉

Uh, no. My parents have always appreciated knowing that I’d be visiting, and I cannot imagine expecting them to drop everything and entertain me. Maybe it’s different for donkeys? Particularly selfish, desperate donkeys looking for their umpteenth handout?

114 COMMENTS

  1. She is so clueless and self centered. “No pressure and you can change your plans last minute!” Ridiculous. Julia, your parents feel pressure and they may have to change their plans at the last minute because you unexpectedly show up on their doorstep. Your parents have a life of their own and it doesn’t revolve around you or stop because you decide to show up unannounced and uninvited. Also, how are you affording all these plane tickets? My parents live across the country and I see them every few months so I know how expensive these plane tickets are. I wouldn’t be able to afford it even I didn’t work a full time job.

    • I think she does this hoping they *will* have plans so she doesn’t have to spend time with them and can just get another check and leave.

    • My parents are a 2 hour plane ride away and I would not dream of springing myself on them unannounced. They have lives and plans and hobbies and I don’t want to disrupt their thing. Greg, she’s so thoughtless.

      also how does she breathe out of those nozzles?

  2. What a wasteful use of space. That could be a communal bathing area for an intentional tribe living space. Instead it just stands as a liquid symbol of Peter’s capitalist decadence. Up against the wall, Baughers!

    • And where is Lily in this bucolic (purchased) arcadia? Cremains in a faux-YSL shoebox schlepped by Judy from “The Bay” to the “The Burbs” to be scattered upon the gently rippling (purchased) water feature of the Assisted Living Facility?

      • If that dog had died we’d have seen a multi-page post of guilt-fed histrionics where she pretended she actually cared about that poor creature and didn’t just treat it like the disposable prop it was to her. 50 pictures carefully selected to feature Donkey at her photoshopped best (and youngest) holding the dog, making it again all about her.

        I hope Lilly is with good Julia in LA. Who knows if Donkey ever sprang for the cataract surgery that poor dog needed.

  3. That left lens is THICK!

    In other news, a friend is at the Get Your Ass Up the Pass race & posted video of
    people racing donkeys thru town. So many donkeys. Wish I could share it here.

  4. Always the little barb against the “burbs”.

    Of course, it can never be wild in the …ahem… burbs… that boring, sad place where boring, sad people like her brother live.

    What a pretentious donkey!

    • The “burbs” don’t understand the wilderness of someone who dyed her hair red once when she was merely 28 years old.

      • And wore combat boots just because, not that they were trendy! Just like Velcro wedge sneakers!

        • The “burbs” don’t understand how sexually adventurous she is. I mean her parents, grandparents, great grandparents never fucked.

        • Excuse you. Who WANTED to wear combat boots. The fact that she couldn’t even muster the courage to do something so rebellious but instead just daydreamed about it was the best part.

      • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

        Do you think she sells this as a “business opportunity” or “investment,” if so do you think either side can really keep a straight face anymore when asking for BM money?

        • “But Dadsers, I HAVE to go, I’m giving a talk and these people are thinking about hiring me as an executive and getting me an executive assistant! The guy who asked me has $50 million!”

          • “Well, ok, muffin. We’ll give you the $5000, but don’t, er, blow this one like you blew Jack McCain. Please?”

          • “Promise! Er, can you make it 10K? I have to keep up appearances. Monsieur Yandy, the designer I was a muse for, isn’t sponsoring me any more.”

  5. It’s gettin’ really difficult not to snark on physical appearance up in here. That’s all I’m going to say. I think. Wow. The fuck am I looking at? I’m shutting up now.

      • You’re very kind. I didn’t even realize it was her at first, for whatever that’s worth.

        • I didn’t either. The LIU tattoo gave it away.

          I will not snark on her eyesight as I am similarly afflicted, but ffs, if your eyes are that nearsighted, you should pick smaller frames or the distortion on your peripheral vision will be too great and you’ll be bumping into all kinds of shit.

          • Same here re: eyes — I think my astonishment is that she never mentions wearing contacts — think back on Donk’s selfie-videos made while driving — yikes!

          • Also at Burning Man. I’d imagine the dust and dryness there would be really hard on the eyes. Plus camping out at the dirt festivals, it’s not easy to take lenses in and out and clean them when camping. I bet she has to have RGPs instead of soft lenses if she has that prescription, too. I know I can’t wear them. I am having a lens replacement later this year (in my eye, not my glasses) and I can’t wait to see how that works out.

          • She has talked about wearing contacts and being “legally blind” without them in the past. Also remember the Burning Man photos from someone’s wedding where she was wearing a white lace bra, tutu, tiara, and chunky black glasses.

          • She must have a very strong prescription, possibly with astigmatism. Kinda shocked she wouldn’t have gotten LASIK otherwise.

          • Oh Jaysus. Are enormous BCGs the root of all of her “pretty girl” obsession?

          • I too am visually challenged. It’s not just the glasses, everything about this pic is wildly* unflattering. I would compare her to Mark Mothersbaugh, but he is more attractive (and has more talent in his pinky finger than she has in her entire body.)

            *new favorite adverb, thanks Judy

          • After something like -8 diopters, you are not a good candidate for LASIK anymore because it would thin your cornea too much to correct the vision, and as a result you could go blind due to a condition called corneal ectasia. The safest solutions after -8, other than thick glasses and expensive contact lenses, are lens implants or total lens replacement surgery, like they do for cataracts. The latter is what I’ll be getting in one eye later this year. If it goes well, I’ll do the other.

          • Fingers crossed, Grifty!

            I (-5 diopters) have been flirting with the idea of LASIK forever but I bought glasses that I really like not too long ago (Stalker saw them in a photo and approved), so now I figure I should wear and enjoy them for some time.

          • I mean, you’re a hottie so you bring your hotness to whatever you wear. But those glasses were dope.

          • Aw shucks, thank you, darling. Do you want to meet for high tea where I’ll wear a ridiculous dress and white platform pumps?

    • I know a very minor blogger with janky teeth who makes this same face in every photo. She believes it makes her look cute while disguising her donkey bite.

  6. Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

    Thoughtless. Utterly thoughtless, but if anyone is deserving of theses actions, it’s her parents. I’m beginning to think she pops in because perhaps they’re ‘busy’ if she plans a visit.

    • i wondered about the orientation of her tattoo, but this photo confirms it’s upside down?

      normally, you would have anything with initial or letters tattooed so that someone in front of you could read it “right side up”. judy seems to have had it inked so it’s right-side up for her, but upside-down when she hangs her arm normally, or extends it forward.

  7. I wonder if old expired out-of-touch Julia even knows that t shirt is a play on the Ferry Wop song (even if she does she is a year late).

    Since she’s culturally illiterate, I’m going to assume no.

    • Fetty Wap? I assume your autocorrect was just getting all Baltimore on you there (hope you and all our Maryland and DC peeps survived the flash floods unscathed!)

      • Yeah auto correct.

        There’s no way Julia gets the reference, which is pretty darn funny.

        That area that flooded is a historic part of ellicott city near an old saw mill, flooding isn’t unusual but apparently this particular flood was a once in a millennia deal. Sad.

  8. How do we think this “surprise” plays out? Like, she lands at O’Hare, takes a taxi to Winnetka, walks in the house and yells “I’m home!”?

    • Parents give a resigned sigh, leave for dinner with the Wallaces at the club, call their son on the way so he can screen his calls.

    • Wilmette, but yeah. Remember last time she ambushed Pettifogger in a unicorn onesie, so this probably seems like an upgrade?

      • Remember when she forced everyone in her family to run a 5k for her nephew because she designed t-shirts for the occasion, and the tiny and cute sis in law already did a run that morning because Donkey probably didn’t wake up until noon o’clock?

      • She ambushed Petey in a unicorn onesie, huh?

        I would normally feel sorry but it’s your fault Petey!

        • Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah! Who was the brilliant catlady who said “she surprise-dinosaured her dad?” I died and now I die again.

        • With softness, I believe it was a tiger onesie, which is even more psycho because OMG Princeton my daddy went to Princeton that’s why I go to his college reunions in orange polyester skating skirts.

          A giant 35-year-old toddler in adult-sized baby clothes. So adorable! So wild! Such change activism!

        • Excuse you, she has changed. Just the other day, she posted that she USED to wear heels, USED to stay up until 4 a.m., USED to hop on a plane all the time. That summer. The summer of 2009.

          Now she is a homebody. Planes? What are planes?

    • She better hope Petey doesn’t own a pistol if she plans on bursting in the house unannounced.

  9. she’s taking pictures of herself while wearing a shirt that says “nap queen”.

    her parents must be proud.

    • Hey, now, not Julie’s first choice for casual wear. Her “BJ Queen” tee-shirt was at the cleaners.

      • I can see it now: Donk shows up unannounced (caught a 2:00 a.m. redeye); dumps rank dirty duds on Mom$er’s favorite chair w/ dry clean instrx for special snowflakes; gets up at 3:00 p.m. day after next & makes frantic ph calls to Dad$er’s mere-mortal sec’y ’til she interrupts him in a court session to remind him to p/u & pay for Donk’s dry cleaning that she must have by 5:00 p.m. that same day & oh btw, Donk has a 7:30 p.m. flight to catch. Probably.

    • Their style is so completely sterile and generic that you can’t tell whether that’s their kitchen or bathroom or laundry room. Love the medical waste container, in any event.

      • Are generic white laminate countertops a higher or lower status marker than superior caulk and parquet floors?

        • I noticed that as well. Who the fuck has white laminate countertops today? And I come from a Waspy New England family who saves every penny. That would still not be allowed

          • I have a white laminate countertop today. I designed my kitchen that way and I love it. Also, I detest granite counters.
            One nice thing about being an old is that you tend to do what you like, regardless of current trends.

          • Rule No. 1 of RBD: Don’t Internalize the Snark. Laminate countertops have their place, definitely, in the real world, as you are undoubtedly aware, professionally. And personally, apparently. I suspect that none of your professional or personal projects resemble the Bogger kitchen/laundryroom/bathroom/abattoir in any other respect.

            P.S.: whenever you weigh in here about design-y stuff, it always reminds me of the tulip table finagled by A Donkey and makes me wonder how many fake YSL hooker pumps she achieved in whatever fraudulent conveyance she contrived when she offloaded it.

          • I also hate granite countertops. I like to hate-watch home improvement shows and disdain them for their granite. My dream kitchen is all poured concrete. But I’m pretty tacky.

          • My countertops are granite and I love them. *shrug* When I don’t love them anymore I’ll love something else.
            My sister and her husband did poured concrete in their kitchen years ago and it’s really nice. Extremely unique.
            Meh… maybe my taste is all in my mouth.

          • my current countertops are fake wood laminate from the 80s. So, I am talking out my ass as usual. 🙂 Your countertops are probably lovely, as befits the wife of GREG.

          • Ha!! I’m going to start using, “As befits the wife of GREG”, regularly now.
            My one bathroom is 1970’s cool-blue so…
            Really though, I’m clueless and my decorating style is, ‘do I like it?’. I’m klassy like that. 🙂

          • my decorating style is “omigawd mom why are you making me take this” slash “craigslist special!”

            I have great plans. Wonderful, tremendous plans. That will have to wait until I am an empty nester widow.

        • The superior caulk outranks the parquet floors which outrank the Starbucks barista, who outranks the white laminate countertops that outrank the manicurist.

  10. I watched the Tony Robbins Netflix movie. Robbins basically diagnoses every relationship problem as “men aren’t men and women aren’t women.” Apparently Robbins has a pituitary disorder that causes him to produce too much growth hormone, and he is super masculine (but very empathetic too, which is probably his appeal.) But it is kind of interesting that his appeal appears to be mostly his “me Tarzan, you Jane” relationship advice, combined with his ability to cry on command.

  11. So the latest is a post about how tantric sex had made her an epic lover and a photo of her dad that’s all about her.

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