Meet Bruno Maddox, RBD’s August Centerfold And Author At Book!

Sam Biddle, you’ve got competition! Hunky Bruno Maddox, British novelist and actual journalist, just responded to Donkey’s appallingly condescending remarks about executive assistants:

Bruno Maddox: Julia, seriously, is this a real post? Who on earth goes around saying, or even thinking, that executive assistants have “low status”? Who is that a quote from? I mean it’s obviously true, in a technical, relative sense. Every executive assistant is outranked by the person they work for, just as I’m outranked by the people who pay me to write things, as I in turn outrank the barista I pay to make my coffee, who in turn outranks his manicurist, etc.. For some reason though I just don’t ever find myself, here in America, whispering to my barista through the steam, “You know, I don’t agree with all those people who say you’re ‘low status.’ Me personally? I think you’re an actual human being. I see you, and I honor you.” Why not? Well, for starters I don’t think he wants me to see him, or to honor him, or to remind him that he’s a human being. I think he wants me to pay him, which is a lot less condescending and degrading than being told that he’s the immovable, half-buried cement “foundation” atop which my more glamorous life soars up into a sparkling sky that he will never see and can barely imagine. Moreover, it may not have even occurred to him that society considers him “low status.” Like an idiot he may have been confused by the nation’s founding documents into thinking that in every sense that matters he’s actually my equal, and so, rather than cheering him up, my telling him that everyone (not me! but everyone else!) thinks he’s “low status” runs the risk of making him feel bad. But mainly it’s that I just wouldn’t want to sound like a fucking Jane Krakowski character. If you can’t hire someone to perform a service without pausing every now and again to cock your head to the side and reflect on how they are, counter-intuitively, an actual human being, then rushing to social media to share your big-hearted epiphany with the world and LIKING YOUR OWN POST, I’m not sure it’s your employee’s lack of human worth that you really need to be worried about.

Marry me?


  1. Things Bruno Maddox is that Julia is not:

    – Author at Book
    – prolific writer
    – graduate of OMGHarvard
    – with partner
    – British accent

  2. Oh, she is totally going to scold him like she did Dan and remove his post.

    Good for him. Too few people call her out on her bullshit.

    • Like he gives a shit about a dumb donkey having a hissy fit. Meanwhile the dirtbag woos are all kissing her ass and creepy Roxanne De Palma’s creepy husband was tagging friends to read this drivel.

      It can’t be just me, right? Her spiel is DRIPPING WITH CONDESCENSION, which should be obvious fairly quickly?

        • Really? Posted this year by Roxanne De Palma (not that marriage has ever stopped a donkey):

          I love the deep intimacy we share as husband & wife and the path we are forging together. ❤ Daniel Schmachtenberger ❤️ #polyamory #wolfbonding

          • but if one is already married to oneself, then does that not render any relationship with another person as poly by default?

          • Yeah, I don’t feel as confident about this one as Justin – she hasn’t liked any of his recent posts, he doesn’t seem to be able to offer anything materially, he doesn’t seem to have a fancy background. However, he’s suddenly commented on a lot of her posts in a complimentary fashion, and I think he is friends with Jess. And her “compersion” comment could be interpreted as, “I love that you’re riding horses with another of my play partners!”

    • I can’t get over the bullshit. Isn’t it the absolute high comedy? It would be mind-numbingly stupid coming from ANYONE, but the idea that THIS donkey who never in her life could be called “a productive member of society” believes she’s in a position to assure others that they “matter,” as if the fact that SHE matters were somehow beyond all doubt….

      • Leaving aside the fact that she is conflating the roles of executive assistants, personal assistants, housewives and cleaners in the process, for that extra-strength dumb effect. No difference, Donkey SEES and HONORS them all! They all matter! Isn’t she just like Jesus?

        • Her idiotic post makes one thing perfectly clear:
          She believes all work to be beneath her.

        • life imitating art

          there was an episode on Seinfeld when Kramer hires an intern, and everybody is like, wait a minute, you don’t even do anything for a living, why do YOU need an intern?

          • I know, right? It’s not like she’s “high status,” as opposed to “low status.” Job-wise, she’s lower status than the EA/barista/manicurist/garbage collector/prison cafeteria worker/whatever, because she has NO job. She doesn’t do any work.

            IF she could get hired by ANY company anywhere, she would be WAY lower than an EA. She has no skills, no experience, no accomplishments.

            Julia, you have LESS experience/talent/skill than TERESA GIUDICE. Teresa outranks you. Think about that.

    • narcissistic/manipulative people do this all the time- they give phony praise that is meant to sound like a compliment on the surface, but it is actually a back-handed swipe intended to belittle somebody and/or put them in their place

      these things are not random b.s.- they are purposefully crafted to inflict humiliation on a certain person in the audience whom they have targeted as an enemy

      motive could be good old fashioned jealousy, compensation for losing out to the person at something, or revenge towards a person who had the nerve to stand up for themselves

  3. His comment gave me THRILL CHILLS. Delight bumps! Someone stepped into Dan’s shoes and is carrying on the good fight!

  4. What a perfectly elegant Julia takedown – I’m swooning. Love the judicious use of ALL CAPS.

  5. The outrage communicated in “LIKING YOUR OWN POST” was when I really knew he was my soulmate.

    • Doesn’t she always like her own posts? I don’t know how Facebook works and if people do this at all, but I would be very surprised if she could NOT like anything posted by herself.

  6. @Tingolayo, I SEE and HONOR your supremely art-directed fauxto in the last post comments, and let me tell you, it MATTERS. You coming for a visit or what?

    • The travel guide wasn’t mine; it was for sale at the carwash. I don’t understand it either. Not that I’m not dreaming of a Prague/Budapest/Vienna triple-header.

  7. A new Dan, whom Julia will inevitably yell at to stop posting under her novels (har) unless he’s agreeing with her in full. Rainbow just wants head pats.

  8. I once was asked to interview a candidate for the position of Executive Assistant to our President. She was taking “a break from corporate”, she told me, to pursue her dream of working in the non-profit sector. Her first question was where her office was going to be; her second question was how many assistants she would have; her third question was where the door out was after the answers to her first two questions failed to meet her expectations.

    Before you assume she was simply an entitled bitch, I hasten to add that her resume included providing 24/7 support for some of the top CEOs in the world and that her proven salary history was well into the upper six digits. (Plus she was an entitled bitch.)

    “Low status”, my ass.

    • You should have told her you see and honor her menial labor (taxes, insurance, repairs, laundry, grocery shopping). Aho.

    • A very good friend of mine is CEO of a major corp. He has two (or three?) Exec Assistants — believe me, they are extremely respected by everyone in the company, are very well paid w great benefits, etc, and they have to be on the ball… which is something the Donk could never manage.

      She’s such a goddamn snob. I almost think it could be kind of cool to be a EA.

    • I knew I could never do that. I knew someone who was the chief EA to someone so rich he is frequently accused of being a Lizard Person, and she was one of the smartest people with the best common sense I have ever met. Far beyond my capacities.

    • I would never say this (so of course now I’m going to say it), but for a Donkey who never reads here: I began my career as an EA and I’m a published author at BOOK! Bite me.

    • Here Julie, I’ll write that job ad for you. Feel free to post on Craigslist at your will.

      “A nationally renowned author, angel investor, speaker, and thought leader is seeking a dedicated, trustworthy Executive Assistant. Must have at least 7+ years of experience working directly with C level executives. Must have a degree from a top tier school, with a GPA of at least 3.8 (no transfer student applicants please). Masters degree a plus. Must have a passion for music, dance, the arts, and culture. Must reside in San Francisco proper, Manhattan (no Brooklyn or Queens) or Los Angeles, with own place of residence (no roommates) with access to an import car that is less than 2 years old. Must have expert level skills with Mac OS and Adobe Photoshop. Must own an iPhone, MacBook Air, DSLR camera and no limit airline credit card (International Airlines preferred). Bonus points for following a Vegan/Vegetarian diet 😉

      This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make countless professional contacts that will pay off tenfold throughout your illustrious career all while traveling the world and finding your truth by living intentionally.

      Salary: $12.00/hour no benefits, no overtime, no expense reimbursement, though a working trip to Burning Man or Lightening in a Bottle may be provided at a 10% discount. The successful candidate will be available nights, weekends, and all major holidays.

        • Lol! Thanks! And yeah, you’re right. The position would more than likely be unpaid but with generous perks, such as free coobie bras, Yandy outfits, Spotify playlists with Disney music and tantric chants, one on one yoga and jogging workouts, discounted life coaching sessions….

          • also you should mention that the applicant’s parents must NOT be divorced. Because your parents’ mistakes = your character flaws. And no child of parents who are together ever did anything wrong.

  9. Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

    I wonder if the self-proclaimed “Change Activist’ will respond to the much needed take-down. I sure hope so!

  10. 10 people liked Bruno’s comment. Interesting how she’s getting tons more engagement on this post than the others.

    • He’s up to 15 likes and yet not posting in the top comments, though Brit Moron is. Interesting that her comment disappeared for a good 24 hours.

  11. Yeah when is she going to bitch this dude out and call him “wildly inappropriate”? Oh, she won’t, because I assume he’s an upper level woo and an author and whatever else she considers important. And she has posted numerous times since he posted this 9 hours ago, so she’s obviously seen it. She will just ignore it and post about really important things, like how the solution to women being attacked is to throw glitter on the perpetrator. Why do men still rape women? Because the women didn’t get to their glitter soon enough, DUH!

    • *But she was so quick to rip Dan a new one when he dared to speak up about her idiocy.. even though she once quipped on a FB photo of the two of them that their enduring friendship was one of her greatest “accomplishments.”

      Well, until he called her out, of course.. because real “friends” only tell us what we want to hear, at all times. She’s such a horrid person. If she says anything to this Bruno dude it will be like, “Thanks for sharing your mindview on this” or something stupid and lame like that.

      • What with the stupid tease about her NYC days, she might be trying to drum up interest in a memoir and wouldn’t dare piss off anyone in publishing, particularly after the St. Martin’s fiasco. She’ll ignore Bruno.

  12. Yeah it’s great that he called her out and I’m sure I’m in the minority saying this, but there is still an underlying douchiness..”My boss outranks me, but I outrank the barista, who outranks the manicurist” Oh, okay, thanks for your assessment of everyone’s “worth” dude. Does the nurse outrank the teacher? Does the gas station attendant outrank the stay at home mom? Fuck off.

    • Yeah, people can exchange services without getting “rank” involved. What if the manicurist who does the barista’s nails also gets coffee every morning from the barista?

      Obviously there’s an established hierarchy within companies, but I’ve noticed that people who dwell on that too much tend to make shittier decisions when hiring (don’t want to bring someone in under me who might outsmart me!), supervising (aw, you did such a good job for an intern! [head pats]) and delegating (so-and-so is excited about this project, but we can’t just put a junior employee on it).

    • Yeah, he sounds like kind of a shit. Plus, he’s long time friends with our burro. I suppose she was necessary to round out the troika of Liz Wurtzel-Katie Roiphe cuntiness.

    • agreed- there are certain situations (i.e. military) where a rigid hierarchy is needed for the purpose of getting things done quickly and effectively

      but when it comes to people interacting and providing services to each other, it is very douchy to look at people in terms of “outranking” each other based on how important you judge them to be

      anybody who gets up in the morning and earns an honest living is worthy of respect and recognition as a productive member of society

      • Adding that anyone who may also be physically, emotionally, or mentally unable to get up in the morning and make an honest living should also be respected as a human being as well, even if their contributions aren’t impacting the economy.

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

      I love anyone willing to take her down and force accountability. He did seem to miss the bigger point that she’s not an executive and does not need an executive assistant, but, posted to sound superior when in fact she’s feeling nothing but inferior. Something triggered this need to feel like she’s important. It’d be interesting to know what that was/is.

      I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t follow the donkey show on the regular and doesn’t understand that she’s never held a traditional job or any job to my knowledge longer than a year. Despite her best efforts, being Julia Allison is not a job, but rather appears to be one for everyone around her.

      • Just wanted to clarify since I’m not wearing my angry wine goggles anymore, I love that he called her out. I love when anyone calls her out. I just wish he didn’t feel the need to compare various occupations against each other and who ranks where. Yes, an executive assistant is outranked by the executive they assist. I wish he had stopped there, that’s all. And Donkey is a numb skull so I appreciate his realization that she pretty much has to be beaten over the head to make the point that those in “service” positions don’t need her love and acceptance. Too bad it was all for naught, because she never learns and never heeds advice from anyone, ever.

        • Knowing Donkey is dense, might Maddox just have been employing a simplistic chain in the hopes that our burro would understand? Like Handbag below, I don’t think Maddox was trying to create a hierarchy, or that he believes in such rankings, which seems evident from the rest of his post.

      • I don’t think he missed the point at all. The ‘Why do you need an EA?’ thing is facile.

        He nailed the most important part, I think.

        You’re probably right that the facile element would probably be the thing that pissed her off the most. Just like when Russian Girl point out she fat now that’s what pisses her off and not when we blast her for wanting to ship the Bay Area homeless off to Alcatraz.

        However, “Why do you need an EA?” is a lot easier to answer than, “Why are you such a shifty person?”

  13. Julie Albertson is a snob, and always has been. Faux “hippie” or not, the bitch is still into her “High Status Markers”, she’s just more enlightened and better than you about it now.

  14. Her post is pretty much lifted from an appalling seen in the HBO series Vice Presidents where one of the VPs tells Deshawn (who works in the cafeteria) that he doesn’t see him the way “everyone else sees him”( and the other cafeteria workers), like a job they’d never want to do, etc.

    Love that he called out that behavior.

    • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

      Context challenges her. She couldn’t make up that she had this conversation like she had this with “her EA” as she did with homeless face puncher, or frat boy neighbor. It makes sense now where this came from, but again context, she’s not an executive, of anything, and never has been, so posting it comes across as delusional with a side of tone deaf. Imagine even in fantasy being tone-deaf, yeah I can’t either.

    • Ha. I remember that “HOW I FRIEND,” part one of a series, if I remember correctly. (Check the queue.)

  15. Maddox isn’t using “rank” the way I think some here are taking issue, I don’t think. He’s saying that in any individual moment, one person has the money and the other person is earning it, period. It’s a cycle that goes round all day every day, and part of the time we’re paying; the rest, we’re being paid.

  16. Someone replied to Bruno with a “THANK YOU” and both are still there.

    I think that EA post had something to do with Brit Morin. Her Assistant gave the first reply and JA replied that she was thinking of her when she wrote it. I actually believe her, but not the insinuation that she was thinking of her in a positive light. I wonder if she asked for something inappropriate from Brit’s company, she put her in her place, and this is JA’s way of pointing out she’s inferior (even though she isn’t)?

    • Donkey was probably rude as fuck to someone, some lowly EA, & then found out that shit won’t fly because not everyone, especially not that particular EA’s boss, treats people as subservient whipping boys (& girls).

      Shades of Mom in a Minivan, except now Donk seems to be trying to save (melty) face — shades of Hazel & the Sunshine Girls, who keep each other apprised of the working conditions in each household.

      Friends don’t let friends drink & drive — EAs don’t let EAs ever the Donkey.

        • Also there is such a thing as an administrative assistant, which is like an EA for project management groups. Since Donkey has never worked in a salaried corporate job, she would not know the differences between these job titles and roles. She’s just read Tim Ferriss’ four-hour workweek and thinks this is how the world works.

    • Wow, that was an amazing trip via the way-back machine. Hilarious to consider the juxtaposition of pink-fluffy-polyester-high-status-markers (“pretty”) Donkey and grubby-nasty-maxi-dress-dragged-in-the-dirt spiritual/creative (pretty?) Donkey. Fundamentally, one and the same. (Except her opportunities are virtually nil at this point.)

      P.S.: Hope our old pal Alice Marwick was able to optimize her “advanced degree” to attain some level of (high) Executive Assistant status, somewhere, somehow.

  17. Did anyone here watch 48 HOURS last night, about that Google exec who died from the Heroin OD administered by the sugar baby? A bf of the escort was interviewed & he said something sorta six degrees of sepabraytion -ish … he didn’t know his gf was an escort; thought she was a model; said he believed it ’cause she was always running off to photo shoots & coming back flush w/ cash.

    Made me wonder if that’s the wool over Pettifogger’s eyes & how the carwash coobies came to be if, for instance, he (or whomever Donk was broncing at the time) started to pry & wonder out loud why the fauxto shoots never appeared in print, so Donk grasped for legitimacy & happened to snag Coobie. I’m always hard-pressed to believe that the ‘rent$ are her sole support, much as that appears to be the case — I do think they are happy to throw some $ at her to keep her the fuck away, but I also think they’d make her come home & get her shit together if they were having to carry her all the way.

    • There is reluctance, especially on Robin’s part, and they sometimes make her grovel, but Momsers and Dadsers are paying most if not all of Julie’s bills. When Lasagna spilled here a few years back, around the time of Debbie & Donkey’s Euro Grand Tour, she firmly stated that Julia’s parents paid the bills, even if they were miffed about large travel expenses. Since Donkey seems to have made almost no money since then, though she insists she does PR for “many” clients, I can’t imagine her financial situation has changed. And I’ve never bought the hooker scenarios.

      • The bulk of the money she made herself since MissAdvised wrapped was in illegal AirBnB rentals. We could list all the other jobs she’s had since then and they would not add up to one month’s rent at her Marina apartment.

        • Good point. I’d forgotten about the illegal AirBnB rentals that led to a lawsuit and eviction.

          • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

            Best guess, someone threw money at it to make it go away.

      • Sex work is work. You have to show up on time, be showered and dressed appropriately, and pretend to listen to what the client has to say. We know Julie can’t manage any of these.

        And tbf, 35-year-old women with poor social skills are not getting well-paying escort gigs. There are beautiful 22-year-olds with poor social skills who would beat Judy out for every job.

          • Winchester House of Faxutoshoots, Mircophones & Ghosted Book Deals While Speaking English Loudly With Grace

            Or skill set, that too.

        • All good & fair points; can’t dispute any of that, & yet … I d0 see her as someone who treats sex as a weapon, so yes, I can well imagine her milking some old sad sack when her back is against the stall wall, but no, I didn’t mean to imply that she’s at anyone’s beck & call or that she’d treat a money making opp as a real job.

        • Yeah, I am inclined to agree.

          I don’t think Julie is above sex work. Like anything else, she has likely has an idealized vision of it, heavily influenced by Hollywood rom cons. She probably has considered it in the past as a way to find her own Richard Gere. I’m sure she has known women in her time who have done this work, and I’m sure she has tried to heavily angle for an “in.”

          That said, I don’t think she has done it, because she’s not a fit. She’s too old and doesn’t take care of herself. She can’t even maintain a gel manicure, and you better believe that the men who can throw money around for escorts pay attention to shit like that. They are paying for perfection. The beauty industry is at a point where tons of services and procedures are widely available at a price point that is affordable for a 22-year-old in a large city. Look at any Instagram model on the popular page. There’s a very groomed look that these women have that Donkey has never had, even when she was of an age where she might have been appealing for some customers. She can’t compete with that.

          • Well, I don’t think for one minute that all escorts are tens & that all the men who buy ’em are rich perfectionists — serial cheaters from all walks of life w/ gorgeous partners stray just for the sake of strange moreso than anything else.

            Do I think Donk could / would bray for pay? Uh, hell yeah I do, because she’d especially get off on tainting a relationship.

          • LOL, Greg forbid anyone see my google search hx, but I am looking to see if there’s anything online.

          • Donkey will taint a relationship without getting paid. Rain wouldn’t even buy her dinner, remember?

          • Remind me about the (non?) dinner — is that from when they were spotted, I think around V Day?

            Wasn’t the general consensus re recent Sea Org(ie) that she was there on escort status, or was that just me?

            Tainting relationships, for Donk, are big notches in FlapJack’s purloined belt.

          • It was from her “Should the masculine pay?” post when she first started dating him, but we didn’t know that until later. It was clear some “date” didn’t feel he had to pick up the check.

          • I don’t think she gets paid for sex in the traditional, but I wouldn’t put it past her to be squeezing some married idiot who made the mistake of fucking her in the past.

            She’s shown she isn’t above blackmail or attempted blackmail, with the REDACTED thing. Both REDACTEDs.

          • I doubt JA has accepted cash for sex, but I do believe that much of her int’l travel is arranged by men she sleeps with following informal (but clear) negotiation. He can bring another flame or two, she can put the room AND the incidentals on his card. Oh, and can Jaaaahssss come? Her sultry voice will put all three of us in the mood, HINT HINT.

    • I think it is likely that she occasionally picks up a client from her Facebook pitching of herself as “social media consultant,” etc. As I’ve said here before, I do some custom content work for companies that could be loosely categorized as luxury design startups. The founders/designers tend NOT to be social media savvy and have begged to pay me for things like a social media editorial calendar. I have no expertise am not interested, but they are impressed by the fact that my work appears in glossies. I fully believe that – even with her aging, tacky TV clips and terribly written blog posts – she could hook clients for consultations at $2500+.

  18. Sorry, all, I know you think you and Bruno are a thing, but you’re not. We are. I decided it was better for me to tell you instead of Bruno, since that’s what I would have wanted my ex’s new girlfriend to do. This makes total sense. I would rather have told you in person, and give you the option of Bruno coming over to talk about it all together. We have been dating a while; it was my idea to hide it for a month and a half because I wish I hadn’t found out about my ex’s new girlfriend so soon and I wanted to protect you. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. I told him I could be a rebound for him. We were just supposed to be having rebound sex. It wasn’t meant to become a relationship. I’m on your team. Tell me what you need. Do you need more conversations with me?

    Most importantly, thought, we are very serious. Don’t hurt yourself by refusing to talk to him until we break up. We are NOT breaking up. #YADFandBruno4EVA

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