Updated: Join Donkey As She Learns NLP, The Secret Sauce Of Every Successful Woo Grifter

It was inevitable that Judy would start looking into courses in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), despite this approach to personal development being thoroughly discredited by the scientific community. The woos all swear by NLP’s bizarre mixture of neurological processing, language acquisition, and behavioral modification as a means to accomplish just about anything, from mastering your money map to pleasurable dieting, and we’ve seen how successful many NLP practitioners have become, from Ali “No Bedroom Curtains” Shanti to Jena “Insurance Fraud” la Flamme.

Unfortunately, our burro won’t get the instant gratification she desires at NLP Marin. They may offer the “the finest Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) training in the world,” but training is a three-year investment, not exactly a weekend with Tony Robbins and Judy has an attention span the size of a sesame seed. Harvard Business School, Part Deux?

Advice for Peter Baugher: Decline to provide three years of financial support on a “learning investment” that will never pay off in the end. Your donkey attended three goddamn “Dates with Destiny,” and she still couldn’t honor her contract with St. Martin’s.

Update: Rain’s former piece posted about our burro’s attachment to Tony and NLP:


And look who appeared among the many comments – Smellsberg’s old piece, Circe Nightshade!



  1. numero uno

    if each one of these retreats etc. is a ‘life altering’ experience, then by logic, the 37 ‘life altering’ experiences that came before it must have been wrong in some way or not as great as they thought they were at the time

    • Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.

  2. She may as well–the other NLP programs haven’t worked:
    – No Life Partner
    – No Literary Publisher
    – New Lip Program
    – Non-Lasting Profession
    – Non-Likable Personality

  3. It’s not NLP, but it is an interesting read from a cognitive linguist (George Lakoff, for those already familiar w/ his work) WRT understanding how & why Trump’s words appeal to the people they do.


    I found it really helpful, & as much as I detest political labels, I was able to pigeonhole all those otherwise-intelligent people I know who are inexplicably rooting for Trump.

      • You guys, I am in a real state of disbelief watching my country from afar right now. At least I have the option of revoking my citizenship if it comes down to it, I guess. Super unimpressed with my family members planning to vote for Trump while asking me when me and my foreign husband are going to move “home”.

        Also, hi! Missed you bunnies!

        • DEANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

          It’s scary from inside too. #IWasInside 🙁

          • Hi, y’all!

            To answer the job question, it’s pretty great. I quit and am now receiving emails from my replacement about how to deal with the massive Julia No Longer In My Life that made my time there so awful. Also regularly receiving emails from the JNLIML complaining about my replacement. It’s amusing from a distance, unlike America right now.

            At the moment, I’m doing some freelance translation gigs for a pretty great national newspaper and trying to get my shit together for pitches for stories of my own in some publications back home, as well as kind of setting myself up to start my own business maybe, down the line, given how unreliable writing and translation income is.

            Not necessarily living the dream quite yet, but happy. How are you guys?

  4. Desperate Donkey is desperate. She’s once again flailing around for her identity.

    So this NLP is all about how to manipulate people, right?

    • Yes. I’m a bit hazy on what it all entails, but the ultimate goal seems to be getting others to do what you want.

    • yes; it’s grifting neg lying bullshit

      the classes are like scientology; pay more to go to a higher level

      the techniques are a combination of con artist storefront fortune teller cold read and general bogus lies

      imagine someone in turkey feathers promising you success but you have to take one more class … and from there

      the easy way to protect yourself from it is to ignore manipulative people speaking in gibberish

      • I had a coworker years ago who went to a 2 day sponsored work thing for NL.P. Back then we didn’t know exactly what it was but I had expressed interest in going but missed out. When he got back, he was trying it out in me (not in a creepy date-asking way or anything). Either he didn’t learn very well at the conference or I was immune to the BS because he kept repeating it and getting more and more frustrated with me when I wouldn’t give him the response he was after. This was when I was doing debt collection work and had heard just about every excuse and manipulative tactic out there.

        I could see Donkey signing up for the program with Dad$ers money, but certainly not on following through on a 3 year commitment. Has she ever committed to staying with anything in her life for that long? Except for continued fakeness and famewhoring? She seems to be one of those people who think if you sign up for it, that’s all you need to do and voila, instant genius/expert.

  5. Three years?!?!?!? Who on earth? What? Why?

    If YOU had three fucking years to improve yourself and your life, with no worries about how you would support yourself for those three years, what would you do? Would you spend them learning a psuedo science that it appears every single person in your tribe already knows how to perform?

    If I spent three years playing with drones or perfecting my Grand Theft Auto jam, I still think I would end up with more marketable skills than wasting my life on this stupid “school”.

    I think I would spend three years learning to make furniture. Then you would all be able to buy beautiful furniture I made. Of course I don’t have three years to do this.

    • I would learn how to make beautiful bookcases and desks. I’ve always wanted to design and build such treasures, and schooling here would cost a fraction of what those scam artists are charging at NLP Marin.

      • The amount of waste is astounding. Imagine where you could travel instead of paying these fees for three years. Or just the time itself. In three years, I could learn to speak Italian fluently. Or I could write, sell and publish book!

        But I guess when you’re not actually the person who earned the money — or you earned it through some kind of MLM scheme — it doesn’t have the same value as it would to those of us with desk jobs and limited time off.

        • I know. A Gilly bookcase filled with books Gilly loves sounds amazing. No color coordination, bunny!

  6. Always life changing but never actual changing. How do they not see the terrible ROI.

  7. From a blog about how to detect someone using NLP techniques on you:

    6. Be wary of gibberish.

    Nonsense phrases like “As you release this feeling more and more you will find yourself moving into present alignment with the sound of your success more and more.” This kind of gibberish is the bread and butter of the pacing-and-leading phase of NLP; the hypnotist isn’t actually saying anything, they’re just trying to program your internal emotional states and move you towards where they want you to go. ALWAYS say “Can you be more specific about that” or “Can you explain exactly what you mean?” This does two things: it interrupts this whole technique, and it also forces the conversation into specific language, breaking the trance-inducing use of vague language we discussed in #4.

  8. What happens when two NLP people meet each other? Are they constantly adjusting their bodies to mimic each other? Do they just stare in each other’s eyes until one cries uncle? Or do they just realize and go “NLP? Thought so. Me too. Wanna give this a rest and grab a beer?”

    • Sorry Grifty beat me to it. But it bears repeating. Who would read about these people and say “Eh, he sounds like a good guy, I want to be like him.. sign me up for his course!” Insane.

      • We saw the hive mind at work in Encinitas. Lots of Emperor’s New Clothes moments, including the entire woo crowd orgasming over that fucking stupid rap song about themselves. If anyone had actually questioned anything on the woo agenda for that Saturday, they would have stoned him or her to death.

  9. TinyNCute, who got SWF’d by Judy, has a few words to say about Tony Robbins, NLP Judy and the woo cult:

    “Has anyone seen the Tony Robbins documentary on Netflix and *not* felt completely appalled and deeply disturbed? I’m freaking out, because a lot of people I knew in the Bay Area (and was close with for a while) were very into him. I now feel like I’ve just escaped a cult, and finally woken up after taking the blue pill for way too long. What. The. Fuck. I actually met Tony Robbins one time and was sooo excited, ’cause so many of my friends and teachers were into him. Now I feel gross for having interacted with him at all. I can’t believe I blindly supported him without doing my research. Any doubts I had about separating from that community have been completely put to rest now. Wow. I’m shaken. What’s really crazy is that he was involved in the making of this documentary, endorses it & clearly thinks it makes him look good. WHAT??? HOW? He seems fixated on some weird 80s alpha male bullshit. Last year, I was severely mistreated by someone who pretended to be my friend, who has gone to 5 or 6 “Dates with Destiny” and is really deep into his work (which lead me to separate from that community). Now, her ability to justify her behavior the way she did makes sense. I feel extremely afraid for anyone who buys what he’s selling.”

      • Noodles naively thinks every sister is wonderful and refuses to say anything bad about anyone, so she will not pay attention to this at all.

        • I don’t think there is anything naïve about Noodles.

          She just knows that she can’t bicker publicly about her “sisters” without hurting her feeble brand, so she conducts her sisterectomies in private.

          • One would hope. I still think she is too naïve and trusting. She’s said so herself.

    • Already had a soft spot in my cold, black heart for this sweet kid
      kicked by the mule, & it just grew a bit more. #TeamCute&Tiny

  10. Well, Tiny n Cute definitely still reads here, because some of the stuff from her FB post is taken directly from my comment in the last post. (I’m fine with that, by the way).

    • I thought T&C had hijacked your identity- or at least your avatar.

    • I noticed too, and I also noticed that your comment was significantly funnier (“bullshit that a dude can apparently resolve just by embarrassingly roaring like a lion” made me tee hee).

      I may be in the minority here but I’m no fan of this Caeli person. Granted, I know nothing of her except (some of) what has been said here, and I know she has been a Donkey victim and the way she spoke about the experience seemed heartfelt (genuinely heartfelt!), plus I remember she wore a really cute dress once (possibly more than once but I only remember that one instance). Buuuuut, first it was “the Oakland types,” then, IIRC (I may not RC because like I said, I don’t really care, which goes for all the sideshow characters; not meant as a diss per se, I just don’t have the mental capacity to register the dozens of them featured in the Donkey Show), there was something about how no one can do anything worth doing unless they grew up with the internet and listen to rap. Which, BTW and IIRC, seemed to be defined as something very different from what I consider rap worth listening. My point is, I’m just meh about her. Which, yes, is not that bad in comparison to how I feel about most of the other sideshow freaks.

      • Yeah, I remember that. It was super cringey.

        The thing is, that early 20s period is a growing phase for a lot of people, particularly nowadays with all the helicopter parenting.

        If you’re a bougie white girl in America, going to college will give you the opportunity to develop the kind of critical thinking skills that help you weed out woos. You get exposed to people who aren’t like you, and your worldview expands.

        After college, you land your first real job (maybe), where you learn humility, accountability, discipline, delayed gratification, when to shut your mouth, and when to speak up.

        I feel like Caeli is going through the same kind of growth period a lot of college freshman go through, just a few years behind. Yeah, it’s super cringey that she used “Oakland types,” but I have respect for her bc when she was called out on it, I seem to remember that she apologized and has tried to unpack some of her invisible knapsack, if you will. That’s far better than Jena La Flamme, who responds to accusations of racism by trying to collect more and more magical brown people.

        • Glad I saw this about the growing (up) phase — good reminder for someone like me (w/out kids).

          • My firstborn came of age with the Internet, but was just slightly too old to be interested in living her life on social media (it’s also not her nature at all) but my middle child does and always has, and I flinch when I think of how embarrassed he already is about his earlier years. He turns 20 next month and has become much more mature and thoughtful already, but whoa will be he when he looks back, bless him.

          • Hey, I’m embarrassed about my earlier years and they are not documented on the internet! I was also just too old but more importantly NO WAY NO MATTER HOW OLD I WAS. Around here it was the fall of 2008; I remember almost everyone around me was suddenly all like “Are you on FACEBOOK? can I add you on FACEBOOK?” and I was like “no?…. why?” And I have not evolved in this regard since then.

            I must say social media and how totally repulsive they seem to me have taught me a big lesson about myself. I never thought I was super concerned about my privacy, but it turns out I am actually a bit of a privacy freak. Special snowflake alert!

        • You may be right on all accounts, and I have next to no idea what it’s like to grow up in suburban America (if that’s where she grew up, I have no idea either). I just remember that “no enlightement without rap and internet” bit struck me as straight up idiot talk and something I’d find no excuse for in anyone over 18 who has ever had a history class.

          I agree she gets some points for reconsidering “the Oakland types”-gate.

      • yeah, she seems boring and suburban and dumb and marginally a better human being than the rest of the woos but that’s like saying that waking up and stepping in cat vomit is better than stepping in dog poop

    • Yes I do, and I’m pretty sure a lot of people who are written about do.! I would have credited you, but I don’t know your real name and didn’t want to stir any pots… I’m sure you understand. Thanks for being cool with it! I thought it was totally on point and I couldn’t have said it any better. That whole comment was awesome- I didn’t feel comfortable copying and pasting your whole post, but I would have loved to share the whole thing!

      I have grown up a lot, and for the record, I didn’t say anything about people needing to have grown up w/ the Internet/rap to do something good. I was talking about how I had mostly only been around older people in the BM community since I’d moved to San Francisco at 22, and when I moved away and moved on/disconnected from the a lot of people after the breakup, I realized how much I needed to spend time with people my age, who I had more in common with, because I had thought for so long that I would get ahead by hanging out with life coaches, teachers, etc who were older and wiser. I realized I was actually learning and growing a lot more with people who are my peers, who have grown up with a lot of the same experiences (hip hop and the Internet being the two most formative parts of my life). I appreciate the critical thinking here sometimes,, and I think sometimes there are interesting sociological discussions, because it’s really about what Julia and the different characters symbolize to everyone here, and the reactions/discussions sparked by whatever it is they’re (we’re) doing, and how they’re interpreted/assessed by random people (and not random people, some who are/have been directly connected/affected) is sometimes really ugly and mean and feels like an outlet for hatred against the things you feel these people represent (but hey, everyone needs an outlet), sometimes it’s self informative and there are interesting/valid bullshit detectors, a lot of it is just conjecture and projection… but it’s always fascinating.

      • Sorry for all the grammar issues, I wrote that on my phone and, whoa… didn’t realize you can’t edit or delete comments!! I jumped the gun! But I think ya’ll get the message ?

        • Ha, the idea that you learned at 22, that these “coaches” & “teachers” don’t have much to offer, where you decided to move on, puts you years ahead of anyone else that’s been the “star” of these posts.

      • We all went through our 20s and know they are turbulent times. I suspect you will come out of this just fine. Keep pursuing what you love but make sure you can support yourself. So sorry you were the victim of A Donkey, just know that in all likelihood, the rest of her life will be miserable.

      • Whatever happens, I hope you don’t feel like you wasted all those years.

        I’m myself merging from a blue period riddled with poor life decisions (moving away from a lot of close friends, taking a job with an org that ended up being toxic as hell, struggling to make ends meet, alienating friends and family while in the biggest funk of my life, etc.). I went through a few months of self-hatred for getting myself into such a shitty place. I have enough distance now where I can acknowledge that some good things came of this time – one of the best being that I’m a smarter, tougher, more magnanimous cookie than I was before. Like I tell my trainees: nobody can help fucking up now and then; the only bad move is to never learn from it.

  11. Tony Robbins is all about NLP. There are TONS of people in Donkey’s “tribe” who have studied and who practice NLP. Most prominently are Lalla and her pickup artist husband Eben Pagan who used it as the basis of his David DeAngelo PUA empire, and it is what made him extremely wealthy.

    NLPers prey upon weaklings with insecure minds and exploit them for their weaknesses. You’ll find them in all the “wannabe” categories: weight loss, entrepreneurship, dating, spiritual enlightenment, sex, fast money scams, power and politics.

    • Yes many members of the “tribe” are well-versed in NLP. My particular disgust is when people apply NLP to manipulate others such as those selling ‘coach the coach’ like programs. The only people that make real money in the coaching business are those that sell their programs to other coaches or sell programs to be a coach (e.g. health coaches). It makes me sick to hear some of these tribe members extolling their work as making a difference in this world when they are really just trying to make a buck off the ignorance or desperation of another.

  12. She needs to go wait tables, fold a shirt at the Gap or some other honest day’s work. All the talk of change without actually changing. This floundering stage without a clear mark is tiresome.

  13. There’s this thing I have noticed with all the woos when they do their videos – they all smile in a weird, unrelaxed, very forced way. I have always assumed it must be an NLP “technique” – that if you smile, others smile back and feel good about what you’re saying blah blah blah.

    Has anyone else noticed this?

    • As an indirect answer to your question, the only woo who I have thought looked to genuinely be in the moment & enjoying herself in the group fauxtos is Wendy Yalom. Perhaps, as fauxtographer to the woos, she just knows better how to pull off a fauxtogenic smile, but I like to think of it as her getting the last laugh on the Fakey McFakersons who she just out-faked by playing along while taking their $.

    • I’ve never seen such a group of people lacking in individuality and fearful of doing anything alone.

  14. 11,000 acres are now burning north of Big Sur. A friend lost her home. I wonder if newbies to CA have considered this when planning locations for their “intentional” communities and the “unintentional” consequences of California’s dry season and tendency for drought.

    • is that a rhetorical question? seriously, because they don’t plan for anything beyond their next grift

    • So horrible. Such beautiful country destroyed. And of course people’s homes; I am sorry about your friend, Grifty!

      • Thank you, Albie. She plans to rebuild, which I think is brave. I would imagine insurance is high when you figure in wildfires and earthquakes as risks. It has to be up there in the same league as waterfront property hurricane insurance in the FL keys.

    • Yes, both of them seem to have thought about this clearly. Unlike international journalism sensation and Davos-goer Judy Albertson.

      Judy has talked about NLP before and it seems clear to me she wants to hypnotize rich men into buying her things, since her powers only work on Pettifogger anymore.

    • Me too, and she is right on with those charlatans Choopra and David Wolfe. Yuck.

  15. Listening to the TR doc now; his team is running attendee stories by him (I guess this is how he decides to call on?); he listens & nods ’til one gets brought up …

    TONY ROBBINS: “Whatcha got?”
    [Picture is shown to TR]
    LACKEY: “This is the one that we’d given you originally. Uhm …”
    [TR interrupts]
    TONY ROBBINS: “No. Don’t put her up. Total attention-getter.”
    LACKEY: “She’s …”
    [TR interrupts]
    TONY ROBBINS: “I know who she is what she looks like. Don’t waste time with her. Everything she does is to get attention.”

    Was Donkey at his thing in Fla in 2014??? Sure sounds like it!

    Then he talks about his drug abusive mom who loved him / beat him, didn’t want him to go off to college because she didn’t want to lose him (was very dependent on him).

    Shades of Shanti holding her kids back?

    • Every other sentence he utters contains “fucking”
      So edgy!

      So over it.

    • He called on her in 2015, so either it wasn’t her in 2014 and he has not yet gotten her number, or he changed his mind.

    • I’m glad you’re watching this so I don’t have to. (Thank you.) He makes my skin crawl.

    • I’m about halfway through and I had to take a break. That man is a vampire. He is exploiting other people’s pain to create a spectacle.

      I left off at the point where esteemed thought leaders Dancing with the Stars contestants Maria Menounos and Julianne Hough are weighing in on one girl’s harrowing confession. WTF?

      I kind of want to finish watching, but I kind of don’t. It’s making me very sad.

      • Hey, if you stick it out, there are sm updates w/in ending
        credits for each of the I-paid-$5k-to-be-exploited victims.

        Not sure it’s worth it, though; not sure how much I believe.

  16. This is why I reserve judgment on Tiny n Cute. I bet she’ll come around on the 9/11 truther shit one day soon. It’s only a matter of time.


    • She is a gushing acolyte of the groupie Pamela Des Barres, which to me shows poor judgment. I think she’s still struggling to figure things out, but SWF predators like Donkey can’t make it very easy. She is still very young, Donkey is not.

      • I have met PdB and she is a flaming ball of charisma (as well as crazy). She is hard not to like even when you know her history and think 95% of her choices are regrettable at best. If I were 40 years her junior I might have been even more enchanted.

  17. Yes, NLP is a mainstay of the woos and it’s gross. At its best it’s just a lot of very fuzzy, unproven, or disproven claims about how the brain works. At its worst it’s a very faulty means of manipulating people that only indirectly works by helping people rid themselves of any ethical qualms over deceiving/using people. If you believe your choice of words can actually fundamentally change another person’s reality, you can convince yourself that lying to people isn’t reeeeeeally lying.

    • it would seem that NLP would be a natural fit for woo grift because 95% of what they are selling has no real, tangible benefit or truth to it

      so the more you talk it up with gibberish and CONvince people that there is value/meaning to it, the better chance of getting them to fork over their $$$

  18. OK you guys who know me are gonna laugh because I am always in here talking about how I have DONE all this woo bullshit LOL ( Ayuasca, Landmark, whatever). However, ( as you probably all to well know by now ) I was there to recover from childhood abuse, PTSD and resulting depression not to hide from bipolar or NPD – plus I have an identity before – so I never fully wooed.

    I read some NLP books from practitioners Connirae and Steve Andreas- – “In the Heart of the Mind” and “Core Transformation”. They teach you how to do NLP with yourself and I found them VERY helpful. They were truly great. Some of it talks about moving paradigms of experience by revisiting traumatic experiences and ‘reframing’ them. I know ‘reframing’ has been overused by woos here so it seems like crap – but I found it very useful. I don’t use NLP to mess with people, its not like a secret power or whatever, esp when used by dumb folks. ( e.g. pick up artists trying to use it in lame negging ) I don’t have all the info and I’m too busy watching MICHELLE AND BERNIE AND ELIZABETH KICK ASS THANK YOU VERY MUCH so Im not googling, so take this with again of salt, but basically, Richard Bandler and John Grinder started it based on Noam Chomsky – using their own brand of weirdo deep linguistic/ grammatical analysis. They wrote books called The Structure of Magic 1 and 2, Transforming Your Self, Using Your Brain, turtles all the way down. I own those books, I bought them by being interested in NLP from the later books I mentioned above and wanting to learn more about the primary source materials for them. They really look like algebra at first glance, charts and levels analyzing layers of reality and thinking. Yes it definitely seems like it could be classic 1970-‘s LSD/ coke- fueled stuff , they made my eyes glaze over. However as I look at them again, some of the ideas seem quite brilliant- if your mind works that way. Mine does not LOL. Now Ive dug them out to write in I might try again but basically I am fine with Connirae and Steve Andreas – NLP lite if you will. At the time when I read the books I found them them intoxicating and considered doing NLP training. But I didn’t, (I had other stuff to do!) Its really not a magic bullet to control people, the original intent from the books as far as I can tell was its more a set of tools for therapists to work with clients in a controlled therapeutic environment , not a way to bang chicks or fleece marks. So like yeah, to understand NLP, one could just buy a few books and read them..not spend money on seminars . As always, hope this helps !

    • You make a good point here, that there is a core of actual good-faith psychological and linguistic research from several decades ago at the heart of what is now an enormous and bloated scam industry.

      But Julie isn’t going to go back to any of that work.

    • In my 20s, I was interested in NLP. I got as far as understanding that people process information differently and the pacing and matching. I still occasionally use the matching when I’m dealing with difficult people

      Thank you for reminding me about “In the Heart of the Mind”, it’s in my bookcase somewhere. I’ll have to dig it out.

      If Judy is going to study this, why is she going with an Australian based outfit? She’d be better off going to these folks, who are in Boulder.

      I seriously doubt she could master NLP, because it requires the user to WATCH and LISTEN to the other person. She’s too busy making it about her.

      You know how it’s said about some people could make you feel like you’re the only person in the room? Yeah, not Judy.

      • Thanks for the link Grifty! Yeah I for sure don’t have a defense of NLP just wanted to share my experience. Despite it being debunked I still really found a lot of it helpful, but not to do brainwashing on others – more like washing my own little brain!

  19. I’m watching the Tony Robbins doc right now and I just DONT GET IT… why??? He asks everyone to raise their hand if there’s something significant in their life that needs changing, basically everyone.

    Can I poll here, how many of us have something SIGNIFICANT in their life that they want to change right now that they would go to a conference about?

    Like, there’s this lady who wants to change her diet. I want to change my diet, she says, I don’t eat at the times of day that are beneficial to me.

    First of all WHAT? How is this a huge problem that she has to pay all that money for? Why not go to a dietician?

    Are these tony robbinson people just going there because they are seeking a quick fix? (I think so). Because wouldn’t a real doctor or therapist be a better bet? Isn’t TonyRob just like, the pop psychology version of Bob Ross?



        She couldn’t stand up to ToeGob & say “No, not like this!”?

        Cuz I’m thinking that being a cunt who breaks up on command of others in the rudest way possible might amount to one of those significant things you want to change about yourself.

    • The TonRob statistic is that 12/25 people are suicidal. And……. he’s “counselling” a suicidal person here? I can’t fucking believe this. isn’t this dangerous as hell? He tells her she’s weak, he says give me a fucking break. HOW THE WHAT THE FUCK.

      • he’s telling the suicidal person she can look into the eyes of a man and know he’s sending her only love. THIS IS BULLSHIT.

    • also fuck the toxic masculinity, “bringing a masculine energy to a masculine man” bulllllllllllshit… “men don’t talk about things because they’re men” bullllllllllshit.

    • the woman who has like a 73 point checklist for her man that involves a lot of “the universe” and her boyfriend confirms they only bang 2x a month. Wat.

    • Donkey keeps saying he’s changed her life, though we see no evidence of that, and when someone asked her how exactly he changed her life last fall on Facebook, she never responded.

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