Updated: Judy Albertson: A Vision Of Loveliness

(Clothing courtesy of Fresno’s Barnum and Bailey’s outlet.)


Holy merde, who’s that burnt out cougar in the above fauxto? Wait … is that our burro?! Why would her soul sister, Alea Rain, post such an unflattering snapshot?! Or is the Ali Shanti, tired old leatherface look all the woo rage? Maybe I’m just too unsophisticated to appreciate this “living work of art? Must be, because Donkey shared this rather shocking image on her own wall.

Speaking of living works of art, yesterday’s walk down injectables lane was more inspiring than a visit to LACMA. Among the nearly 100 fauxtos uploaded by our burro, the Cookie the Clown collection had me absolutely swooning:


Update: Judy received a whopping five comments re: yesterday’s fauxto hysteria:



    • lower case fuck you is the standard here

      fuck you


      also, i never thought it would be possible, but the center and right people in the fauxto look crazier than the one on the left. also, the one on the right has a fully unhinged jaw AND a cindy mccain wrinkled nose

      one more: rickets — vitamin d deficiency causes bowlegs and hip deformities. is there a doctor in the house?

      • I wonder if her cover got blown & she didn’t get her room comped after all, cuz she’s not really “press” of any sort, which led to her scheduled appearance as a MASTER INTERVIEWER getting cx’d at the next meat-up.

        #PureSpeculation #ShadesOfGrapefruit

        • That’s wild speculation indeed! I did note that she appeared higher than a kite in those bizarre fauxtos in which she’s fake hula hooping next to Alea Rain

  1. Even if I liked the Donkey, I would have to admit how fucking rough she is looking here. Too many drugs, too little sleep.

    She’s my age (and I’m a dude) and she looks 10 years older than me. Not even snarking in a body image way, just a lifestyle/mindframe commentary.

    • She has looked older than her years for a long time. Most of those tv shots look like someone 35, not 25.

  2. It’s been said and it’ll be said again: JA looks every one of her 35 years with a few bonus.

    Her days of pulling off “hippie chic” are long over — she’d be better off going Full Pastoral, à la Colorado City compound.

  3. Wtf? This is a recent picture of her? She look as old and bedraggled as Ali Shanti!

    • Yes, it was taken just a couple of week ago! Donkey looks like a broken down burro who’s been wandering burner fests for the last five years, her only sustenance being vegan stix and cheap sex.

  4. “Here’s me on Alexa Chung’s MTV show .. by looking at the picture you equaled the original show’s audience.”

    • That picture is the stuff of nightmares!

      I mean, what IS that?

      That is not a face and it is not attached to a human being.

  5. Film poster for “To Woo Fong – Fuck You, You Complete Bastard – Julie Newmar”

  6. I like that Alea Rain or whatever her name is is just making a goofy face instead of being sexxxxay.

  7. Can’t tell if the first comment is actually a sly dig or not…

    …and lol at the last comment.

    • I’m going with not. Divina is a woo who’s banging creepy Lost Boy Max Marmer.

      • Doesn’t mean she’s not sick of JA’s shit, though. Even in poly circles, it’s probably fair to say that Julia’s hooves land on other women’s toes more often than they hit the ground.

  8. chick in the middle is reasonably hot; daddy says so

    OT point of clarification:

    when somebody in the woo circles refers to himself as a “shaman” or whatever, does that imply that the person supplies/facilities hallucinogen-based enlightenment, etc?

    • It implies he has sex with several of his female devotees, for one thing

    • That or “tantric sex” guru. That’s less common, though; usually they’re the ones who bring the party drugs and insufferably refer to them as “medicine.”

    • thank you for responses

      i have also noticed that woo culture in general seems to be geographically a western u.s. thing- roughly between colorado and california- with the occasional fly away visit to nyc

      • I think it might be an old money/new money thing.

        Old money: “What the fuck am I looking at?”

        New money: “There are girls at this party!”

        Greenwich/Hamptons/etc. are awful places but they would never tolerate a hula-hooping nutcase trying to sneak into the country club with her crayons and pot edibles. There’s a reason the various versions of Julia are geographically linked. The bay is unusually tolerant of certain flavors of eccentricity.

  9. I’ve now revisited this post three times, and I truly can’t believe she posted this photo herself. What is she saying? Has she given up?

      • Oh, wait, I see that Judy also shared it. Well, the donkey was already out of the bag, I guess? Or she wants to show whoever took the picture (RAIN?) that she’s a good sport and not the kind of crazy bitch who curates slideshows of her head shots from a decade ago…

        • The fauxto is now Rebecca Jean’s FB profile pic. Maybe the three women struck a deal that they’d each post the insanity?

          I’ve never seen Julie look worse, as though she’s trying to play Cool Mom but can’t keep up with her two girls and just wants to get home.

          • she’s trying to play Cool Mom but can’t keep up with her two girls and just wants to get home.

            Yes, exactly.

            It also looks like she has a herpes sore on her lip.

          • Julie’s two girls are looking so shit-eating-grin happy because they partied & got laid the night after roofie’g the whackjob who was braying insistently that they stay in w/ her & watch mAss Despised on her laptop. Probably. wink emoticon

            Julie herself looks like a walking case of virulent stomach flu. Definitely. hazmat suit emoticon

    • Stupid as hell. From the “You might like this” Netflix email, I thought the cat represented the internet. No. There is a donkey reference though.

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